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Casted light on a copper piece and threw it into the water so my martials could stop getting disadvantage to attack a underwater creature

Party made up of an Eladrin ranger(from the feywild) a hexblood warlock(mechanically fey) and a shifter Creation Bard (its' giving fey-like whimsy). Oh... and our token Boring Gnome Wizard. Everyone in the part was some flavor of queer. We called ourselves Fey-Coded

I NEED MORE OF THIS!!!!!!!

4:44 they were third level at the time or they were just evil.

Of corse necromancy and necromancers aren't inherently evil, necromancy is just a tool (assuming we're not talking about enslaving good unwilling souls for ghosts and stuff).

I once played a minotaur whose mind was awakened by a Great Old One. I worked with my DM to come up with a crazy patron. He presented me with, Mr. Coyote God of All Coyotes. A patron to scavengers and the hungry, Mr. Coyote God of All Coyotes gains energy from food eaten by followers of Mr. Coyote God of All Coyotes. You cannot speak or even think of Mr. Coyote God of All Coyotes using words like he, him, you, or any other designation. Trying to do so results in psychic damage, while trying to always refer or speak to Mr. Coyote God of All Coyotes, as Mr. Coyote God of All Coyotes results in the table breaking down in a maddening laughter.

From the last session I played: one of our party members fell through a staircase and got impailed on spikes. Another party member hears the crash and asks if he’s ok, impailed guy says he’s fine, roll deseption, guy 2 believes guy 1 is ok… all the while the party is looking right at him, stuck in a bed of spikes

Two stories of Nat 20s here; in my very first session, my dumbass nearly got myself killed. I was playing a Fire Genasi, and the setting was summer camp. At some point, a curse descended upon the camp, and the sources were five streams of light. I ended up in the party that was heading towards the lake, where a water maze had formed. Cut to fifteen minutes later. We've ran into every dead end possible in this damn maze, and my character gets frustrated. She says, fuck it, and tries to walk through a wall of what looks like stagnant water. I've got a +6 bonus to Athletics, so I'm certain I can pull this off. I try to power through... Only to be reminded of something critical... MY CHARACTER CAN'T SWIM. My character almost drowns, but two of the other characters pull her away. They roll... And the weaker of the two rolls a Nat 20. Later in the maze, my group comes to a chest buried in the ground. They determine that I should do it, I roll... And I get a Nat 20. So my character, who nearly drowned TWO MINUTES AGO, rips a whole ass heavy chest out of the ground without effort.

This was a homebrewed Patron, called The Symbiont. My character had a man made bio engineered worm parasite as a patron named ASP (which stands for "Armed Spellcaster Parasite"). My character was the only one among many experiments that successfully bonded with an ASP, but afterwards, he transformed and went on a rampage, destroying the lab before he was warped to a prison made of gold (a story for another time). For what the ASP granted, think of Venom. My character could transform as a bonus action, he loses the ability to use spells in this form but he can use claws as attacks, having bonus equal to my charisma modifier. His AC also raises equal to my charisma modifier (he already had decent AC, and my charisma modifier was +5 so whenever he was in this form he was very hard to hit). Two abilities I remember on the top of my head is a rending attack that acts as a third attack, and if it hits, whoever is hit has disadvantage on attack rolls for their next turn. And I don't exactly remember the condition for this one, but it was either if they simply land a hit or they reduce a target's hp to 0, they regen 1d4 hp per hit landed. If you all want specific details or more, I'll happily try to find the book I got the Patron from!

I have a half-elf artificer I’ve been playing for years now. Way back during one of our first battles, her hand was bitten by a spiderling and she was quickly downed by the venom (the woes of level 1). She nearly died, but thankfully pulled through. However, because of her injury she lost all mobility in her right hand. As any artificer would, she made herself a magic mechanical gauntlet to aid the mobility of her hand. Its gradually has been enhanced as we’ve leveled up. Now, at level 20, she has a magic cannon built into her gauntlet, and it is awesome!

If you’re going to throw spells around, please be aware of your surroundings. If you’re in a forest during the dry season and the enemy has a smoke cloud up, firebolt may not be your best option. It may just set the entire forest ablaze and damage the nearby town, as well as severely injuring low-level party members that fail three separate saving throws trying to escape the wildfire. A month later, the same player/character decides to use thunderwave one some enemies at the top of a cliff to try to push someone off. He did not account for the two martial fighters of our group to be in his blast radius. The good news is he succeeded, I’m sure you can guess what the bad news is. Our monk failed his saving throw (literally no one else) and took an impromptu base jumping experience while this magic-slinging bozo earned himself several boot prints in the ass. I can’t wait to see how he kills us next!

this one was stupid, but it was also a thing that made me just say fuck it and quit the game table... for context, the dm had us play super realistic and paranoid. We had to take measurements of ropes and use that to figure out the relative weight capacity of the rope to cross a raging river on. We had to make sure to measure proper guage size of the chains we brought along to know if they could, say, pull wagons with broken wheels out of a river. We had to factor in caloric intake while away from cities... Well we became the rulers of a nation... So, i took into account how rediculously we had been taking everything and do research in how much land is needed to feed out population using medieval techniques, and after discovering that we'd need about 50% more land, I remembered that there's a decent bit of clerics in the world and they'll take some of the food load off cause create food is a low level spell. We knew that level 6 clerics weren't exactly uncommon, especially since the quest that gave us a nation, was given by a 15th level character, and they weren't considered outlandishly powerful. General level, not even monarch level.... We also knew that we would be applying medieval level collectivism when it comes to the morality... That which threatens the group, is evil, and that which protects the group is good.... So when a mage comes in and starts causing shit by attempting to stir up a revolution to undermine and destroy our nation, a rogue, a barbarian, and a slayer get together and kidnaps him, takes him to an unaligned region, and interrogates the mage. Well cue the mage vanishing, despite several people who knew that he was a mage and to kill the moment he tried to escape and despite him being tied up, blind folded, and gagged... and then the paladin (dmpc) took offense that, when we reported on it later. Interrogated the slayer, cast both zone of truth and a homebrew spell (when the dm had gone out of his way to tell us we'd never use homebrew) and then homebrewing how making saves against those spells worked without clearing it with the group first. And when asked why the three characters didn't use guards, it was laid out that, there was, in an at best case scenario, 10 people to spare who weren't doing something more important like growing crops/other food harvests, or felling lumber/carving stone to make homes, or making weapons/armor to allow people self defense while the nation was being set up. 10, to do things like, deliver messages of diplomacy, patrol the roadways and protect merchants, stop barfights, deal with rowdy adventurers, handle crime and monster attacks. aka, 10 people who weren't player characters, to handle government functions. I was told that I'd taken the game too seriously, and that I shouldn't have assumed we'd be held to such a level of realism. It wasn't the only reason I left, but it was a brick of a reason when all that was neeeded was a straw to break the camel's back.

the last stupid thing to happen at my table was my character thinking it was ok to throw a lightning grenade at a giant lizard that had one of my party members on top of it, stabbing it with a sword, another that had been swallowed whole inside it, and a third in its mouth trying to pull out the party member it had swallowed... I may or may not have severely injured one and killed the other two... and did almost nothing to the stupid lizard. yeah... it was a REALLY stupid idea.

Would the wand of nuisance's itching give disadvantage on concentration checks? If so that's entirely useful

Yesterday - I was a player in a one shot and basically the first fight was so unlucky that the wizard enchanted into the body of sheep (on our side) rolled nat 20 three times, while half of my group was on the floor and rolling so bad that the half-orc we were fighting didn't even bother with us, just went for sheep.

In a campaign I've been running for two and a half years now, every player started with anywhere from two to three characters. The goal was to be a large, open world, long-term game. The various players who could make it each week would swap around their characters to pick their party dynamics. This way, the players who make it don't get screwed over when, for example, the party healer can't make it. Someone else can swap into their backup healer. Since we started with 20 PCs, they called themselves: The Dirty 20.

My sorcerer (in the first 5 minutes of our campaign) nearly went down in one hit to our parties tabaxi wizard, reflavored as a house cat familiar, clawing at me for petting him. He rolled a nat 20 and got maximum damage. I took 10 damage from a house cat. 6 more and I’d have died outright.

the group playing curse of strahd killed ireena.

Last session my character (human warlock raised in the fay-wilds after he go more or less spirited away) went fishing. Not to out of the ordinary, but this was his first time on the Party's airboat (blimp+ship combo). DM rolled his eyes, said there is 1 pole, and to roll off. Usually my dice are complete trash, but today I rolled a nat 20. Party is dying laughing at my stupidity as I've now caught the boat. Continues on for 5-10 minutes of laughing while another PC describes how I actually caught the rudder and am fighting for control of the ship unknowingly. Decided to throw the whole damn thing overboard since I couldn't reel it back in.

"Your life lacks whimsy, and your @$$ is flat."

Hi, I’m the smart stupid. I have a companion that’s the other stupid. Playing a cleric in a cyberpunk inspired game. Ended up on an island where my connection with my goddess was cut off. Of course, I panicked. This group is RP heavy, so my character promptly works herself into a panicked state that keeps getting worse because the last thing she heard was her goddess screaming her name. An NPC that she has subconsciously registered as a follower of her goddess tried to calm her down but the cleric was having none of it, mistrusting her emotions. Then the lady that brought us to the island came to us in annoyance- apparently the anti scrying wards on this island are ungodly strong and having a literal goddess possessive enough to start knocking is draining them. Stupid 1. I believed this and allowed her to cast a spell on the cleric. Stupid 2. The rogue used an anti-magic field to help our barbarian break free of mind control, and until told I needed to see this, I stayed out of that AOE. Stupid 3- I rolled a critical success on my goddess’ presence that day. Cue the cleric being smote and purged of all magical influences. The goddess is now latched onto the cleric because clearly the cleric cannot be trusted to make decisions without divine directional assistance. The other stupid- Let me filter water through this magic dirt to see if magic has a flavor!

That dude who broke the table and whiskey he was fighting for: "You won.. but at what cost?"

It's hard to say for sure, because D&D reasons, but I'd say the last REALLY dumb thing we did was that we stuffed our Fighter into the party's Bag of Holding and he suffocated. For context: The idea itself wasn't stupid. He'd been forced to let the BBEG vampire bite him so we could avoid a boss fight we were NOT prepared for. And the guy was 100% going to make the Fighter spy on us and betray us at some point in the very near future. As an expereinced group of adventuerers, we discussed plans for 20min and descided the best course of action was to put him in the Bag of Holding so he couldn't ambush us in the night and/or interupt our much needed long rest. The stupid part was that we, an expereinced group of adventurers, forgot two things: Vampirism takes 24 hours from the time of the bite to take hold, and the Bag of Holding has 10 minutes of oxegen in it. The REALLY stupid part was that DIDN'T actually forget these things. We talked about those two very important points while we were coming up with the plan, and completely forgot them immediately after. In one ear and out the other. For the entire party. An expereinced group of adventurers. When we woke up the GM informed us that the fighter was dead. The Paladin said something along the lines of "Well of course he's dead, he's a vampire" and the GM responded "No, no, no. Not *Undead.* Just dead dead." We all sat for a moment in silence trying to process what he was saying. And we all came to the same conclusion simultaneously as the discord lit up with "Oh my god," "We are so F*ing stupid," and of course the classic "Mother F-er." The good news: Because the Fighter didn't die FROM the vampire bite, he didn't become a vampire. And because he died, he was no longer the vampire's thrall. The better news: Our Cleric remembered that time doesn't actually pass in the Bag of Holding because it's in the Astral Plane. As such he could just cast Revivify instead of wating a level to try and resurrect the Fighter. The best/worst news: The GM revealed to us, out of character, that the BBEG could treat his thralls as familliars and see through their senses whenever he wanted. It's what made him such a pain to deal with. He watched the entire conversation in horor. Witnessing first hand that the party of "clever and noble heroes" that had been outwitting him at every turn, defeating his generals, and holding off his plans for world domination, was in fact this stupid. We'd find out a few sessions later that he had just descided to say "F-it," completely abandoned his plans for subtlety and subterfuge, and was just goint to bring his undead horde down on us and call it a night. An amazing session overall, and is the source of our running gag of "just don't put the Fighter in there" any time the Bag of Holding is brought up.

Tapeworm. Just imagine its existence

The most stupid thing that happened in my table was a player that started fishing and got three 20s on the skill check... one after the other. Basically I had to limit how many times he could go fishing to once a session, otherwise the situation would spiral out of control.

"I put the dagger in, i put the dagger out, i shove the blade back in, and cast smite as i shake it about, do the stabby pokey until your insides all fall out, thats what my god's about!" Not from my group, just someone i overheard at a game in the LGS. Apparently they multiclassed a paladin with a rogue.

5:31 why would you roll for that? That should be something you as a DM decide by yourself. The roll only deciding if they know that.

stupid? yeh, thats me. so my character is a chaos sorcerer (wild magic sorcerer but homebrewed with chaos patron due to blind check deal) but in one of these instances, i summoned a venus fly trap treant at the entrance of the base we are protecting and was being swarmed by various enemies and was even caught in our wizards fire ball, and survived. The stupid bit comes from the fact that the giant we were fighting had ripped out a tree from the ground and was using it as a club. those who have read the stat block of a treant know that they can "awaken" a tree within 60ft of them once per day. but something some might not know as much, is that they don't need to be planted. so with the treant being at low health, and seeing a couple of valid targets, the treant made a random tree in the distance awaken, along with the giant's club, which proceeds to start attacking the giant.

one thing that i like to do when i DM, is reward players for really creative and unique backstories. for instance (due to the game format we are running -FFD20-), i have a player who wanted to come from an aristocratic family who specialized in making magical dolls. i allowed this as it fit one of MANY elements i had planned for this world and a few plot points. he spent a lot of time creating his backstory. he was a Temple Acolyte (temple being the only "religious" group in world), a Scholar of the Academy (worlds leading research center - like a college), and comes from a reknowned family. he even included motives and goals for his character in his backstory. he made his family. one plot point he wanted to make for his character is how his family was slowly being murdered and he wanted to investigate. this actually fit in with part of what i had planned. so because he took SO much time to write out things - IN DETAIL!!! - i complied with his request of basically having a low-level automaton at his disposal. now, this player, did NOT abuse this in any way. in fact, he kept MOST of his past secret from MOST of the party, exception being one player that worked for him a few years ago, and even that player did not know most of everything in his past. for reference, he wanted to play a white mage/monk. he even explained why he was a monk (when the party was able to multi-class). all that stuff. players like that, i feel they DESERVE that extra perk or bonus at the start. ofc, i was DMing the FFD20 system, so everyone needed something unique to make the game feel more like final fantasy and less like good ole dnd. i started with a group of 6. we are now down to a group of 4 + me as DM. this player with the doll (due to events in game) now has the doll becoming a sentient being that i am now playing as a DMPC. the opposite can be said for players that dont take time on their backstory. i often make it a POINT to include as much of a players backstory in my campaigns. i have had players ask me why they dont get to do all the cool things and make all the beneficial connections with certain factions and have good loot. i tell them "because.... you didnt work on your backstory. they did. you gave me nothing to work with. they did." "but we are all the same level, weve been together since the beginning. why am i not important?!" "because you didnt want to be i guess. if you wanted to be more important, you should have put it in your backstory"

Sooooo, we were fighting the Xanathar, and he forgot to move behind a wall for cover... disintegrated in the blink of an eye...

DM could have made it so that the fighter neve got anywhere cause they were swimming up stream. Would work if the player didn't specify they were swimming across the river.

My first is Grey, a Rogue Tabaxi who, unlike traditional tabaxi really doesn't care about most shiny things that pass his way. Funnily enough, he's an archeologist! Despite having a 9 in charisma, he's probably one of the most adept out of the party to handle social situations, including the pathological liar changeling who doesn't know who she is. Regardless, his specialty in archeology is an old civilization called the Mageocracy, despite not having any magic himself. He also doesn't like his job!

never understood why DMs don't just pocket, "well that was a body double/friend of the end boss, who now holds an extra grudge against you and will look into you " Thus allowing for a cautious boss later that has details on the players and fun tricks to counter some of their developed strategies making them fight in unique ways for some fights. Since new BBEG isn't going to show up now, not having a sheet for them at that session doesn't matter.

Player A: we need to get food. you go get us some veggies from the market stalls. Player B: Ok. *proceeds to go to market stalls* hi. i wanna buy some things (to the vendor) Me (vendor): welcome. may the lord of the light bless your day. anything in particular you are looking for? Player B: *no response* Vendor: *stares* Player B: (ooc) what do i see? Me (DM): you see an assortment of tubers, potatoes, and other common vegetables. on a side table you see a bundle of herbs. Player B: what kind of herbs? Me (DM): *rolls* Chocobo herbs. (we are playing a Final Fantasy campaign based on an alteration on Pathfinder - FFD20) Player B: (to the vendor) id like to get these herbs. how much? Me (vendor): *arbitrary amount* Player B: i pay the vendor. Me (DM): add 3 bundles of gyshal greens to your inventory. Player B: i leave the vendor and return to the other player. Player A: ah, your back so soon? did you get the veggies? Player B: i got these. are herbs vegetables? the party has never forgotten this and no longer trust this player to do ANY shopping on their own. ever.

Not sure if it was stupid, but it was the last borderline stupid thing in a game I played in. It was a few years ago. The party is going to rescue a dwarf, who has info we need, from some Yuan-Ti. I had been away from the game for a month, so the DM brought me in by having me already be in the temple. This was my bard, Jack, who seemed incapable of not charming anyone he wanted to. She had me roll to see if there was a possibility of bumping into an old lover there. We get to what should be the final battle, and I guess the DM wasn't in the mood to run a big fight that night. She wrote me a note, the Yuan-Ti priestess was an ex-lover of Jack's. Everyone is getting ready for the battle, and Jack walks into the room and says "Hi honey, I'm home." No battle took place, but I did have to talk fast to not get skewered by the priestess.

Do you have a shop here in ohio by chance?

to a vampire: "let me guess, you willingly turned to lose that reflection?"

We fed a vampire Alchemist fire and riged it to blow when any one address it as master or lord .

While exploring the ruins of a town thought to be abandoned, my party and I encountered a group of six goblin sibling NPCs named Yu, Mii, Hee, Hurr, Shi, and Hym. What followed was something straight out of Abbott and Costello: Player 1: "What's your name?" Goblin: "Yu." P1: "Me?" G (pointing at another goblin): "He Mii." P1: "He's you?" G: "He Mii. Me Yu." P2 (points at random goblin, visibly confused): "Who is he?" G (points at different goblin): "She Hee." P3: "She's him?" G: "She Hee. Her Hym." Players: [visible confusion intensifies] This went on so long that eventually I just randomly shouted "Third base!"

My Aarakocra Druid witnessed the Fighter fall into a spike trap, and then pulled the Fighter out of said spike trap. Then he saw the Fighter jumped over the spike trap to get to the other side, followed by the Sorcerer and the Bard. Then my Druid plummets face-first down into the same spike trap and almost dies, having seemingly forgotten that he can fly. In the Druid's defence, his Intelligence is only 6.

Silver dragonborn sorcerer tried to rizz up Arveiaturace... thank Anubis the DM's bloodlust was already satiated

3:50 aha... SO THATS WHAT THE MASK IS IN EPIC NPC MAN'S DND CAMPAIGN!!!! ROB YOU WICKED BASTARD! I LOVE IT!

The dumbest thing to happen in our party was the group was to take out a local drug syndicate. The party is a Dragonborn Barbarian. A Tiefling Druid. A Dragonborn fighter. And a halfling rogue. The drug syndicate was based in a hollowed-out tree. The was the adventure was set up, the party was supposed to go into the front door at the bottom of the tree and work their way up to the top. However, the barbarian decided that the Drug Syndicate would expect them to come in through the front door and have the most opposition there. So, he convinces the party to scale the tree and enter in the top of the tree-hideout. The heads of the Drug Syndicate were Harpies. The party was very low level. Like 1st or 2nd. They might have been third at this point, it's been so long, I don't remember. The Harpies were at the top room in the tree. Instead of working their way up to the Harpies. The party had to fight them first and then work their way down the tree. Not only was this boss fight first scenario very tough on the party, but it allowed a minor NPC (a gnome illusionist) escape. The party were supposed to also deal with because she was selling the drugs that the Harpies made. She got away and became a recurring villain that they would run into.

this may be too old to see... but... im currently planning to kidnap a players brother and future sister in law, while the player is out adventuring in another continent. the person doing the kidnapping is someone who hates another player because they chose a psuedonym that was in use by an NPC (i told the player to choose something else but they said nah, and i said... ok....). so because 1 player chose to use a fake name that was in use by another NPC (very important npc btw), the npc that took issue with that is going to kidnap another players family because that player (the brother) lied to them about who they were. this npc had offered to aid him in finding his lost family. but because he lied, hes going to use him as a bargaining chip in a later session..... and NONE of the players will expect this. XD

I DMed a one shot for my sisters called the Fibonacci Sphere. The sphere alternated adding and taking the health of the closest creature/player and the amount increases according to the Fibonacci sequence. Both my sisters had to roll dex saves to avoid flying BBEG matter when he got exploded with ~250 points of damage.

My player danced himself to 4 levels of exhaustion, then gained a 5th by admitting that he had flaws (the character is so narcissist, my player asked to take exhaustion whenever she admitted to being anything less than perfect)

My first character was a dragonborn fighter named Daephyus (pronounced Day-fee-us) who i later wrote to have noble background. His "quirk" if you call it that is that he is a Kleptomaniac. If he wanted something, regardless of its worth, he'd find a way to take it. He got caught stealing a war forges shield, tried to steal the tower watch guards binoculars, had a twig, and a monster's severed pinkie. Since i don't play him as often, he is usually one of the reoccurring NPCs in several of my games. Still looting and repossessing whatever his eyes land on

So we're dealing with a hostage situation in a manor. We split into a stealth party to save the hostages (Druid, ranger, DMPC homebrewed martial class) and a combat party to clear out the evil lord of the manor (Barbarian, Homebrewed Caster, Homebrewed Support, and our Warlock who was afk and being controlled by the DM). The combat party went into the one room with a hole blasted in the side where combat was already ensuing (between an ally and an assassin) and my druid used her familiar to determine that all the windows were sealed and the only other opening was the front door. So we *sent the DMPC to knock on it* and the BBEG opened the door. That encounter would end with the first PC permadeath of the campaign

Been almost a month since last session so I assume the last stupid thing to happen was the paladin's fault or the rogue's

accidentally rolled too high on perception and stealth checks. found a hideout in a city that should have stayed hidden for longer, got in, poisoned the weaker enemies and stole valuable supplies, potions, weapons, tools and scrolls. the weakened hideout got overrun by the whole party afterwards. the dm got a bit annoyed because he lost a supposed stronghold too early and his antagonist lost even more hidden stuff we found in hidden caches later.