D&D Players, What happened at your last session? 🅿️2
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- čas přidán 25. 06. 2024
- Sometimes, it’s your lunch break, you’ve fifteen minutes to sit your butt down and unwind before returning to a mind numbing existence at Job Factory. I’ve been there; you might be there right now, and my heart goes out to you brother, hang in there. It’s times like these that it’s nice to just turn off your brain and listen to some plain ol DND stories. Nothing specific, even, just… what happened at your last DND session?
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DND players, what was your funniest “nat 20” moment? (r/askreddit)
What stunt did your D&D players pull that completely derailed the campaign?
DND players, what was your funniest “rolled a 1” moment? (r/askreddit)
DnD players: What is the most creative character you've seen someone play as?
DND players, what was your funniest “nat 20” moment? Part 2 (r/askreddit)
What’s the DUMBEST thing a player rolled for and Succeeded?
D&D players, what was the NAT20 that made your DM facepalm?
What's the funniest thing PC's latched onto? #1 (r/dndstories) - Zábava
We lured the general of a Kobold army into a keep protected by a (temporarily disabled) lightning shield promising that his god was there waiting for him. Then we switched the shield back on, expecting him to get vaporized instantly. Instead, after the lightning struck and dust settled, what we were left with was an adult blue dragon, now out of its polymorph. We’re gonna TPK next session. We’re level 3.
Womp womp womp
DM here; there was an arm wrestling contest. One of the players, the rogue, couldn't show, so I had him set the bar and drink. The barbarian chimed in with, "So basically, Mike IRL." Everyone got a good laugh because that's exactly what the player would really do
The party came across a Griffon that was particularly skinny at a wrecked caravan. since the party is a cleric, ranger and druid, they decided to try to feed it some of their rations... this is why I love D&D... The druid approaches the griffin with a bag of jerky, holding some out for it. The griffon then grabs the druid and tosses him into the ranger which sends them both crashing into the wreckage. The cleric however, which is a Gnome, was hiding behind said wreckage until she peered out and used her sling to shoot out the griffon's eye. The ranger then tackles the griffon down a hill, which the griffon then snaps his back on a tree. THEN while the griffon was prone, the druid came tumbling down the hill and starts DUMPING the bag of jerky into the griffon's mouth, it writhes around on the ground, CHOKING. He then HEALS the Griffon, Then THE GRIFFON BATS HIM AWAY and starts to run away, then the Ranger and Cleric butcher it. They thought since it was skinny, they could feed and tame it... in reality I made it scrawny so three, level one characters could kill it lol.
well, in the last session me and the other rogue encountered a spell that completely changed our personalities, he went from a charming, polite, posh wood elf to a cockney, swearing rude arsehole and I went from a private, business orientated, socially inept harengon to a terminally-delightful, overly friendly, cuddly bunny.
Last session in a nutshell, our quest giver whom we've known since the beginning was revealed to be the BBEG the whole time, he then caused the universe to imploded and we were all thrown into a parallel world to try and stop it from happening again
I'm running Shadowdale Scouring of the Land, and we're getting near the end of the adventure. The Zhent's have invaded and occupied Shadowdale, and the PCs are trying to drive them out. Last session they waited at the desecrated shrine to Mysta for the Zhent's to bring 20 prisoners to sacrifice to try to cow the uprising the players have started. It was a pretty close fight with two of the PCs getting to about 1/4 health before they took out the biggest damage dealers. When it became obvious they were going to lose the leader started killing the hostages while one of the soldiers tried to run. The paladin managed to use Lay on Hands to save the dying hostages while the artificer teleported behind the fleeing soldier and killed him with his magic scythe. After which they led the hostages they'd rescued several miles through the wilderness to find temporary shelter. After which they went to talk to Azalar about what they'd have to do to get the local fey to join us.
We opened up the session starting combat in a nest of cultists of Vecna under the city of Neverwinter after getting word that one of the player's parents who were kidnapped might be there. We never ended up finding distraught aarakocra druid's parents, but what we found was one of the toughest battle we had faced yet. We were level 6, so we had access to a good few abilities and powers, but so did the enemies. After defeating the head cultist, a portal opens up and drags us to Evernight. Thankfully one of us pointed out that we has a Keystone that took us back to the Sanctum of Lady Alustriel Silverhand, otherwise we would have had to contest with the undead citizens of the parallel world after fighting a tough battle with about a day of no rest.
Last session the DM learned not to put a BBEG next to a window and the party found information that proves our Innocence.
We were fighting a pseudo lich. Not a lich, but a wizard who desired to become a lich. And came up with a unique way of crafting a phylactery of sorts. A clone, that in it's early stages took the form of a parasite. Anyone who touched it (unbeknownst to my party) would have it latch onto them and burrow into whatever body part they used to touch it. Naturally, our orc wizard made some experimental pokes with a torch to see if we could expunge the phylactery. This is how we learned what it did. It crawled up the torch and burrowed into his arm, giving him level 3 exhaustion and rooting him. Every time we hit the wizard controlling it, it would shriek and burrow deeper, burrowing into his bones. On the orc's next turn, he decided rather than becoming the host for this pseudo lich, he lopped off his own arm. Lost his dual wielder feat, and is now looking to become an artificer to craft himself a prosthetic.
We went to the basement in the haunted manor, found some skeletons explored some rooms while our detective was temporarily insane, ran out of the haunted manor waiting for our spy to recover from breaking both of his legs, our detective was hearing Gaelic and as the only person in the group who had stats in Gaelic asked what the voices said, he couldn’t repeat what was going on. We tried to take the cat we basically adopted with us, but a barrier was blocking the cat from leaving.
We were all talking when my Dwarf Barbarian randomly started pissing off of the side of a wagon and almost fell off of it.
delivering letters again. yeah, running errands basically. contents range from "hello, how are you?" to a list of "here is the list of highly confidential alchemical ingredients". after that, shopping trip. the boundaries between magical merchant and trading wizard are blurring. but its a nice change of pace.
I ran a one shot for some of my friends so I normally DM could take the night off and I was super jazzed about the new Planet of the apes and have the party discover a basin with a bunch of super intelligent apes whom they tried to liberate from their evil ruler which resulted in said ruler being thrown off of the giant tree to his death but carrying the wizard with him due to a really bad dexterity saving throw ,while the Ranger's wolf got washed downstream and vanished which upset everybody so much that I think I almost got death threats. Great session overall
I'm playing in The Shattered Obelisk. (Maybe minor spoilers, but we're only level 3 and I'll keep it as generic as I can.) Party is me, Duergar Watchers Paladin of Gorm Gulthyn, a Kobold Gloomstalker, Half-orc Bear Totem Barbarian, Human wizard, and a Dwarf Druid.
I just swore my oath 2 sessions ago to stand against all extraplanar creatures. 1 session ago, we had had 2 fights already, I had used lay on hands to get all the way back up to 13/33 hp, and then I realized my party members were talking to something in their heads. I went out and looked at it, with a Nat 20 I recognized it as an aberration, and declared, "I'm going to kill it!" as the end of the session.
Tuesday's session started with combat - I whiffed my initial attack, then we rolled initiative. We all rolled crap initiative except Wizard. Wizard does minimal damage. I fail a CON save from the aberration, and take 14 dmg and go down. Druid Healing Word for 3 hp. I hit decently hard, and then use Divine Smite for the first time this campaign.
Wizard hits decent damage, Barbarian flanks with me, gets good damage, and I get a Nat 20, for 14 base damage before adding in crit damage or Divine Smite, because he only had 1 hp left.
I Cure Wounds myself for 8 hp. With most of us pretty beat up after 3 fights, we have to take a short rest. I got a 4, 6, and finally an 11 that brought me to 32/33 hp.
We then do an entire dungeon crawl where there is no one there other than some captives and it's very weird... After session, DM reminds me that we'd forgotten that in the very first fight 2 sessions previous, Druid used Thunder Wave, so they totally knew we were there and evacuated while we short rested. 🤦♀
So we'll start next session going back to town and hoping they haven't ravaged the town while we explored their empty HQ. Ooops!!
We were transported to the era before time. The rouge got rid of "the greater good" and "servitude to the goods", The bard-warlock got into some weird shenanigans in a pool of liquid sapphire, The sorcerer-Wizard released magic and chaos into the world. My character (the cleric) gave birth to the gods? In a way? He tried to put some order into the chaos the sorcerer released but only managed to create a few ribbons of order that the dm told me, would become the elder gods and eventually the younger gods...
If you can't tell yet, we're on the epic tier (lvl 14)
my character ate the BBEG, now my imp who is basically a walking bag of holding as to roll every time his mouth opens. Just to make sure the BBEG doesn't crawl out his stomach.
(Not DND, this is Pathfinder 2e) Keeping it spoiler free because we're running a prebuilt. We have 5 members of our party, but the only two that matter in this story is a Dwarf champion (paladin) named Rock Brick. The other is my character, a ratfolk alchemist named Bramble Greymix. I made Bramble with the intention of him being the innocent sweet roll of the party. He is much more valuable to the party outside of combat as the party's doctor. He also has done the most accidental damage to the party and almost killed Rock Brick.
We just finished a fight against a single enemy who was several levels higher than us. (We're level one) Rock Brick took quite the beating, but also gave quite the beating as well. I offered to heal him on a nearby bed using non-magical treat wounds. Now, the thing with treat wounds is that you have to hit a DC 15 to succeed. On a fail, nothing happens. On a CRIT fail, you roll 1D8 slashing damage.
Guess what? I rolled a 1...
One max damage roll later, i had taken him down to dangerously low health. I tried using one of my feats to bounce the results back. This feat is called Risky Surgery, and it lets me roll 1D8 for damage. The trade-off for this is that I get a +2 bonus to my treat wounds check.
Guess what I rolled...
Even worse is that I rolled max damage AGAIN. At this point, Rock Brick went from roughly 6hp to dying condition 2/4. Thankfully, I had a spare healing potion as an emergency stabilizer. "Why do I feel worse?" Rock Brick said, getting up from the bed with a whole 3hp. After I had dealt 16hp worth of damage, Bramble could only give a big wide smile while hastily saying, "No reason!"
Another event that happened was when another member of our party, a human swashbuckler, was attacked while unprepared. (Weapon not drawn). The enemy missed twice in a row, and then crit failed the last attack. So he just ended up giving the swashbuckler his weapon.
Edit: To clarify, this is my first ever campaign of any TTRPG. I wasn't trying to have my first kill be my own teammate.
Last session, we watched our druid become a lich by the big bad. Now he has the means to use both the dead and spores against us. Yet our journey continues, we have a conquer to stop and a friend to let rest.
PANR has tuned in.
The party set out on a journey to attack the King of Werewolves. They found a man who knows what this King is up to, witnessed an Ancient Dragon flying above them (foreshadowing), and found a group of ghostly pilgrims that told the party the prophecy that they are set to fulfill
My players went in a portal to recover an essence of the demon king (My story is loosely based off the dnd heroes xbox game from the early 2000s). They fought through many monsters and almost died several times. They helped an orc celebrate his birthday, and found many gimmick items (most of which from different series on this youtube channel). They decided that rather than work there way through the boss chamber they would just charge through the room, grab the items, then run back through the portal successfully completing the mission.... Except no one noticed that the items I mentioned in the room did not include the essence of the demon king. Yes, I read out the items before they picked them up and it took 3 turns to grab all the items which gave them ample time to figure out whether the essence was among the list. Next week we get to do the same boss lair because they didn't grab the right item.
On a side note, one of the items they grabbed was the stone of detect tension, which makes a loud cough whenever it detects an awkward conversation. I can't wait for them to tell the leader that they forgot to grab the essence stone so I can use this item 😂
I was playing in said session when this video was posted, our party set out to travel to the neighboring kingdom to hold a meeting with the empress of the Elvish Empire, but we had to travel through dangerous woodlands that were the site of a battle 7 years ago to get there. We defeated some biomechanical monstrosity inspired by DOOM, with what I believe to be a quite ingenious move, we then crawled through an ashen no man's land like burnt forest before setting up camp. A strange, tall humanoid figure suddenly appeared at our camp, who we learned was the avatar of a god worshipped by two players in our party, who also revealed an important clue for my characters personal quest.
Gunslinging Hadozee Sorcerer met a sentient Orangutan, no I will not elaborate.
Dam really calling me out on watching these videos during my lunch break
At the the end of our session, we found out we were carrying a box that had a black dragon egg inside it. The only thing was, dragons haven’t existed for over 1000 years in our setting, and we’ve only discovered that there was another egg but coloured white elsewhere. We’ve finished the session with the Cleric asking “But if dragons haven’t existed, Where did this egg come from?” And my dumb mind automatically answered for my Barbarian, “It came from a dragon.”
in my last session of D&D, well before I can begin, I should explain a little bit of what’s going on because the campaign is a complete joke in of it's self we are working our way up to fight evil Gordon Ramsay, who is using his own custom level nine version of vicious mockery to turn people into sentient food so we have Joseph Stalin our pizza who is a paladin, the French toast I forget his name doesn’t really matter too much anyway, that is a wizard, and me the block of cheese that is a rogue Druid, so we had to fight a Godzilla rat I mean it was the same type of a normal rat, but it had Godzilla like attacks when it used its beam attack. It instantly killed both the paladin and the toast, but I managed to save successfully and took no damage so I transform into a bear and grapple the Godzilla rat successfully, despite being one size smaller than it. then proceeded to do 120 something damage in a single turn to it, cutting its health roughly in half before we got saved by a coconut who is also a black Smith, so we bought some armor and weapons from him, then went to go talk to the king of coconuts, who apparently we just saved their village from this Godzilla rat with some help and he gave us some rewards and the new quest to go to the fridge to try to talk to the other fruit and maybe get the other fruit to stop trying to kill the coconuts
The last session of my pathfinder game was also the last session of the two year campaign. TLDR we were confronting the final boss who had mashed two universe together and their goal was to cause true death along universes. The bbeg turns out to have bin vecna ( yes….in pathfinder. Dm just ported the epic level vecna sheet to our game for the fight against us level 12 players). Due to the universe mashing each of us were a little a little weird. I was an enlightened scholar( third party class that’s kinda like a monk based around support) , we had an oracle harbinger multi class, a harbinger, and a shifter rogue. The fight was brutally annoying with 2 stages, a puzzle , and vecna had an immunity to magic ability. The fight took 8 freaking hours. My guy was a rat folk with a mother deck of many things and I was known for gambling against the odds and ways getting good draws. Final boss I pull the crow and accidentally kill my friend the god of chaos, but become the new one. We were all pissed that most of our abilities which were magic were turned off, but we won: somehow
We lost our paladin last session. We needed to get to the other side of a room the one problem was there was a kraken in a large pool in the centre (we were level 6). Some high level NPCs with us took most of the damage from the kraken while I (the wizard) cast slowed it and kept throwing debuffs at it. Me and the rogue got to the other side first since we could move quicker with misty step and cunning action but out paladin and barbarian kept getting thrown. Eventually our Barbarian and Warlock got to the other side but our paladin got thrown back to where we came in. With the high level NPCs being trapped there was no saving him. His brother (the barbarian) is really broken up about it.
Not last session, but i still have 2 stories (same character, a gnome priest (tymora))
1. The party had been traveling for a while, and found an inn to stay at.
During the evening, we noticed the local drunk.
A perception check revealed that, while his pouch seemed like it were empty, there were always enough to pay for his drinks.
We decided that, that pouch could be handy to have, so I made a potion that would put his to sleep (unfortunaly it were to potent, found out later)
1 Day later, we found out (the hard way), that it were cursed, and turned us in to alchoholics.
After a few days, I had to ask tymora for help, and I got it.
I then threw the pouch in an old outhouse (toilet). Only to my horror, I were told by tymora that she wanted it at an altar of hers.
So, of course, I had to dive down and spend a hour to find it 😒
2. I (with a str of 12) managed to outbrawl a orc narbarian (str 18) by putting him in a chokehold
Player here: DM prepped us for two different encounters. I (a pirate Dragonborn fighter) during these encounters: FAILED. EVERY. SINGLE. HIT. ROLL with my GREATSWORD.
I tried my luck with a giant spider (that I killed without any issue in the previous combat encounter). My roll failed for my greatsword and my way of escaping (climbing up a rock) FAILED (I had a +4 on athletics).
So I just watched my poor Dragonborn take his first down in the campaign thanks to awful luck and a spider bite with poison as well.
We started searching for volos missing friend in waterdeep, I almost died, and we has a argument about our rich elf player wanting to find a tavern that serves lobster
Continued our delving into a dungeon. After already having 3 combat encounters in the last session, we are struggling, the wizard only has one 3rd level spell slot and a couple of first level spell slots left. My fighter/barb is out of rage, and the rogue kept getting targeted by every monster in each encounter. After killing some demon monkeys, my party decided that we need to get out of the dungeon. We had the misfortune of running into a the cultist leader that was doing a ritual. Fast forward there are a bunch of undead skeletons surrounding my party while my character is below half health, the wizard is out of spell slots and can only use cantrips and the rogue is trying to kill as many skeletons as possible. Also the cult leader is currently floating in the sky while I’m holding on to him ( I tried to tackle him from out of the sky, didn’t work). The session ended before the end of the encounter because my DM had something important he had to take care of.
Man am dead
We got around 12 Nat 20’s and absolutely obliterated a bandit encampment.
That's an entire life's worth of luck used up
We finally bought horses and a wagon to make travelling easier & I got to start multiclassing :D
We almost died to a gangster that created flesh golems from the hp dealt mid-battle. The tank was on fails. The mvp of the battle was a squirrel (not a npc). The battle was in the garden of eden, in a book, in the library of Babel.
Last campaign was a while ago, I just haven't had the time to play.
I joined my brother's campaign he was DMing and we both knew I wasn't going to be able to play every week... But the others didn't so I got to make a way over powered silver dragon sorcerer who was captain of his own pirate crew... Something no one else knew... So as the party was fleeing his pirates and found him they teamed up to locate the magic item. A long fight and dungeon later they finally got it... Jist in time for my character to betray them steal the item and sell them into slavery.
I didn't get to play the rest out but apparently everyone loved that villain arc as they had to escape track him down and steal the item back as well as one of his eyes for some reason. I'm not sure how that story line ended but everyone enjoyed it.
The Cleric had a prophetic dream in which he completely lost all control of himself, lived the life of his own evil father (The player knows, yet the cleric has no idea) and proceeded to:
Shoot his own mother with a gun, watch his Holy Symbol of Torm shatter, sign his soul away to a Yugoloth, murder a goblin city, battle against then kill the parents of the two adopted Goblin DMPCs, have the same Yugoloth under his heel and pleading for him to end it then stabs through its chest, proceeded to Lay On Hands and heal it just to stab it again, then got a message from his god… Helm, The Great Protector.
I can’t tell you how much I love this game.
I made a poem of what happened last time at our DND session:
"Epon, The Drug Warrior"
There once was a fabled adventurer
Born at the break of dawn.
The drug addict who defeated the Demon Lord
Goes by the name of Epon.
He started his journey at the town of Firedust.
In a tavern at noon, when a story was whispered
"A dungeon full of adventure and treasure!"
Is what his mighty ears heard.
With his magical broom patron as a Warlock,
And his mockery skills as a Bard,
He went through the dungeon like it was easy
Even though it was extremely hard.
He cooked a piranha
And crunched it's bones.
He swam through water,
While skipping stones.
While exploring,
At the very long last,
Shit went down
Extremely fast,
After a long rest,
At his self-made sauna,
He discovered a magical plant-
The Magijuana.
He dried it, rolled it up,
And then he said,
"I think I should sell this!*
And thus, he sold it to a kid!
The kid got high and asked for more
Because it felt good like he was about to soar
Epon said, "Maybe when you turn a bit old!"
But the kid insisted and bought some for 500 gold!
A few literal days later,
The kid somehow got kidnapped,
He realized he was in the Demon Lord's Lair,
And he surely thought he was trapped.
To calm his nerves,
A blunt he smoked.
The Demon Lord saw this,
And he was stoked!
He said, "Where did you get that, child!"
The kid said, "Just try it, it's wild!"
The child gave him cigars three,
And the demon Lord accepted it with glee!
A blunt was smoked by the demon Lord,
To the magical cigar his attention he poured.
He said, "Where did you get this, son?"
The kid said, "I got this from Epon!"
Thus, Epon also got kidnapped
By the servants of the Demon Lord,
But the Demon Lord wanted peace,
So Epon sheathed his sword.
The Demon Lord said, "I want the goods!"
Epon said, "How mush are you willing to pay?"
The Demon Lord replied, "I'll buy your entire stock!"
And there was nothing left needed to say.
The two continued their transactions for days,
Until Epon remembered why he was here in the first place!
If he really wanted to get out of this hellhole,
killing the Demon Lord is his only goal.
So he cut off his connections,
And disappeared without a trace.
Without the Demon Lord's daily "sustenance",
The Demon Lord's sanity began to erase.
After a few days without sustenance,
The Demon Lord died.
Epon went back to selling,
Because now he didn't have to hide.
He resurrected the Demon Lord,
And made it his pet.
He left the dungeon rich and happy,
And all his goals met.
The mercenary team returns to their office and their operation is considered non-existent due to outside influence. But they are paid well anyway so the team pool their resources to get the most expensive living quarters for the next month. They have an after-party and settle into the coming month with a plan of little to no reason to fight. Of course, they cannot afford to live this way without more work and will have to undertake more hazards eventually.
Our last session started with an interparty fight. We have one character who is currently body-hopping because his own is missing and the people's bodies he's borrowing are currently detached from their spirits, bodies are still breathing, but nobody's home. Well, the GM is playing this character as has had every other player in the campaign roll for the new bodies. This time it was our chaotic fairy turn and she rolled a dark hair, dark skinned teifling with horns and wings. Our group has fought dark skinned, red-eyed demons in our house and have been hearing tell of red-eyed demons for a while, and wouldn't you know it, the body hopper has red eyes that migrate into the new bodies with him.
Needless to say our lycan paladin and dwarf cleric were all... "Nope, not having this thing live," and attacked. My fire genasi monk put herself between the fighters and tried to talk sense into the others. Luckily the chaotic fairy was inside the house and couldn't get too involved and the gator bard actually heard what the monk said. The fight ended with the monk holding the dwarf down in a grapple and yelling at the lycan to stop trying to kill her friend.. again (This wasn't the first time they tried to kill the body hopper).
Later in the session, the dwarf, who's been trying to multiclass into bard, jumped out his second story window to go to the bar, gets rip roaring drunk, comes back to the house that's been fortified because of a situation that happened with the lycan, there's vines reinforcing the door.. the dwarf breaks down the door, makes his way inside. Woke the house, except the bard, and the lycan thinking it's someone who's come to harm the party, starts attacking. Well the two end up trading command spells, the spells all failed. My monk having seen the tail end of this, yells at the two of them, then drags the dwarf back up to his bed, closes the window and goes back to bed.
The next morning should be interesting now that we have to replace the front door for the house.
The party decided to camp and try to long rest in a black dragon's territory, with full knowledge the dragon is out there and aware of them. Whodathunk, the huge murder lizard hunts at night and can see the campfire from 20 miles out. We had a fun chase sequence followed by terrible stealth rolls.
Let's just say the dragon enjoyed some dwarf meat that night.
Player Charachter Warlock (not mine) is surprised to find a former fellow academy allumni became a rather "active" lady of the night.
The Warlock is suprised by the change and says "I had her in the High School, she seemed so nice."
The table including the DM burst out laughing while the warlock player had a confused expression on his face. Apparently he didnt initially realize the implicstions of what he said
😂Players discovered the second of 6 titans was awakening. Midnight King. The cleric lost their shit because I foreshadowed the entity months prior via fairy tails in their research books. They heard 'eater of light' and started fully panicking but is too fae explain to the party. As gm I'm
having a wonderful time ^^
One of our players wasn't paying attention (spent the session making models for another game) when his spell casters psychic damage attack healed the bad guy. Oh no! I best not do that again! He says... only to do the same thing on his next turn... so anyway I died a very gory death! 😂 Yay!!
One of my players got crit by a giant opossum after I promised them I wouldn't try to kill them on the first roll of the session. Thankfully, the character was left with 2 HP, so all was... well, it wasn't good, but it was survived.
We invaded a school of magic to take out other invaders that were...zombie Astates (space marines)?!
we had to cut it before we could finish up combat
The team has been on Eukaris, home planet of the Beast Transformers. One of the players is from this planet, and was a Predacon, the evil faction who has conquered the planet since he left 4 Mill years ago. The ruler, Galavar, was bribing him to keep him loyal, and the party wasn't sure if they could trust that player.
Last session, he proved his loyalty to them as soon as they left Galavar's sphere of influence and began planning to aid the Maximal rebellion against the Predacons. The Maximal leader Lio Convoy needed three tasks done, one of which required negotiations with a tribe that has gone into hiding, and another involved speaking to the Maximal Elders. The party leader, who is the only one skilled in negotiating, chose... to go speak to the Elders and left the homicidal sniper & mentally unstable experiment to handle negotiations. This is going to be a disaster.
We are in the middle of Dragon of Icespire Peak (Spoilers ahead!). We just got back from dealing with a cult of Talos and found the town we've been based out of deserted due to the dragon flying around over the town. We were informed of a magical dragon slaying sword in a nearby monument. We headed out, fought some Will O's and discovered a dragon shaped monument that served as the entrance to a tomb. Being a level 5 paladin, I used my summoned mount (a pristine white horse) to help me shift some of the stones guarding the entrance. We descended into the darkness of the tomb and upon reaching the base of the stairs we found ourselves in room with hallways leading in each cardinal direction. In the North, West, and Eastern halls were more Will O's and they each floated down their respective hallways. We rolled a D4 to decide which hall to take first which wound up being the North hall. At the end of the hallway sat the Wisp, I approached it with weapon drawn ready to strike at the creature if it attacked. I then promptly fell into a spike trap and thoroughly embarrassed myself. We defeated the creature easily enough and found ourselves in the burial chamber of a knight and her squire, presumably the previous wielder of the sword. We found the sword resting on a pedestal but learned from my previous bout of incaution and instead of barreling up to the sword, our rogue used her magic hand to pluck the sword from its resting place. It was then revealed that the sword had a very impressive guardian. An invisible being that will forever seek out the sword so long as it is not in its proper resting place and seek to retrieve it and return it. We are now trying to figure out how we might defeat or bypass this safeguard mechanism and retrieve the sword.
Oh yeah and our druid became friends with a skeleton horse down in the tomb so she's as happy as a clam over that.
I was the morally questionable/evil character (though, if you ask me, I'm more of an opportunistic neutral evil) I was in a contract with I believe was imix. I tried to serve him, but he gave me the impossible task of killing the sultan in two weeks. Fed up with him, I casted plane shift on my self, I rolled good and was sent two months ahead of my team (I spent those two months grafting wings on my vampire PC). Upon meeting them (one I get along well and the other we begrudgingly respect each other), the former, a turtle folk, asked me how I survived. I gave him this "F*ck you, that's how".
At our last session I managed to take out 3 enemies within 1 turn (I'm a Barbarian, so no AoE) I consider this one lf my greatest D&D feats, alongside that one time where I Teabagged an enemy to death.
The Arson Hobos rested, rearmed, and committed to face the fate they had set move to challenge the BBEG, Khadis Ra, First of the Ra. Then a lot happened...
Resigned to win or die trying they stand in the gladiatorial arena and as the Ra enters the arena, Queen's Princes of the Universe plays. He meets them with his five Hounds (slave warriors that act as his agents), raises his hands, and 9 coffins rise from the floor.
He speaks, offering a deal, take his gold, and seek our the 13th Ra. There is not supposed to be 13, only 12. Find them and eliminate them.
So the Arson Hobos, realizing the Ra are actually the good guys, and that they never stood a chance against Khadis, take the deal.
They are given clues by the odd Ra, Brooklyn, and search for more clues from the mage they resurrected. But he's got a beef with them and gives them unclear information. They fall to threats and oaths and leave before they get nasty.
They seek help from the resurrected general they were involved with, and she gives them better information. They think maybe it has something to do with a dead Ra named Ea and the odd named Ra, Brooklyn.
They go behind enemy lines and fond the spot Ea died, only to find he didn't, and the 13th Ra is Ea, Brooklyn was his replacement.
They move to the ruins of Ea's capitol and find it filled with undead. They work their way to the temple of Ea only to find him not home, but his 1st Hound is there, and she knows them well. She's been giving them misinformation the whole campaign.
They fight. She shuts them down and tears the team apart. The paladin is stunned and can't save out. The Druid is minus a leg and down. The wizard is KO. The thief is using her battlefield mobility to be the medic, keeping people alive, and the barbarian articifer is soaking massive damage and grasping at straws to do something that will slow this Hound down.
And finally, a hail Mary from the just healed up wizard does the trick, and he drops her.
They flee, leaving their calling card behind in the temple as it fills with undead. Fire.
Then, out of the frying pan, into the fire. While resting from a butt kicking, the Master of the Tower of Necromancy summons them. With teleport.
For the first time, they meet the Master's dead twin brother, who is a lich. They pair inform them the Arson Hobos have left a mess, and they want it cleaned up, as they are, in fact, patriots.
End session. We went the whole friggin day with this one.
We killed god
This is what we want
Hey, we've all had rangers shoot innocent kids. It happens. ...Right?
Actually I'm still thinking about my last session of the group I am playing with we started to play a play-test roleplay of spinoff popular anime it got to my turn to describe my character I made my character as short because I am short it was a joke about myself my dm thought I talking was about his wife. We decided to have a break playing new games but am I in the wrong making my character the same height as myself. The Way he reacted was not what I expected he got really angry. Sorry if this is long I am not good at typing
Funny sorrys