Crimes of the Future - Angry Movie Review
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 3. 06. 2022
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AngryJoe, OtherJoe & Alex review the film that many people walked out of the theater on. Is it that bad? A story about a future where surgery and pain is the new sex. David Cronenberg's New Film.
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My wife woke me up 45 minutes in and I got to say that was some of the best sleep I've ever had
Ok
Nice đ
Coolio
I have a few of those....
Crow City of Angels
Punisher warzone
BVS.....I woulda fell asleep if I weren't so angrily annoyed.....it's a shit show of a movie as is all the DCEU movies....and from the looks of it the new set of moviesi really wish they'd try Green Lantern again and do it right, they keep failing with bats and all they do is bats and supes and never give anything else a chance, if done right GL would be awesome but WB is the dumbest company making movies.....well next to Disney that is...
@@darthXreven thats out of nowhere, but I do respect your opinions for a red lantern. Anywayss I'm always ready for an GL movie. I know they can make something right with this IP.
When I read and heard "Surgery and pain is the new sex" I was like
"Hold up, wait a minute"
Dark Elder be like:
"Something ain't right."
..but theres sex with the pain and surgery right? -no.
I had a mental health breakdown and left the theater... I was fucked up for the rest of the night and I saw the movie at 3pm. They shouldn't glorify self-harm or the harm of others like they did in this movie...
@@kennethkingdon-korab2174 damn
Imagine Joe just start yelling BOOOOOOO during the film đ€Łđ€Ł
Or "you done fucked it up!"
@@therotten6152 lmfaoooo yeahhh
Which Joe? I can hear OJ doing that đ€Ł
Just think, OJ could have watched 5 episodes of Clone Wars instead of this...
Lmao
But not the boring first seasons thoughâŠ
OJ couldnât understand an audio book
@@Foxhound300 ouch
This movie just seems the $50,000,000 equivalent of a little boy showing his sister a dead mouse so he can see her gross-out reaction.
Basically most of Cronenberg's work.
I just love how CZcams is like "Pretty much everything to be said"
I hate the Mobile Comment section but ya, basically ding ding.
But itâs not even gross or disturbing.
@C.G Not sure how "CZcams plastering a comment front and center" equals "you cant complain about it"
Seriously run that equation again, it off chief.
@@Subject_Keter I don't get what you're criticizing. Is it the whole idea of a top comment?
My thoughts on "Crimes" is more of a deep-dive into the metaphorical meanings within Cronenberg's on-the-nose, satirical (albeit horrific) and sometimes humorous view of modern-day technology (ex: eating chair, sleeping bed, autopsy bed), exhibitionism and voyeurism (ex: Saul, Caprice, Timlin, two women with drills), pop culture (ex: Klinik/Ear Man, others), celebrity status (Saul and Caprice), and ultimately the "plastic" society that we have become (ex: plastic eaters, non-plastic eaters, and those "evolving" into eating plastic). There are also the "policing agencies" (Cope, Wippet, Timlin) that try to regulate and/or terminate humanities permanent decline into a meaningless existence of seeking out ever-greater, "shocking" sensualities (ex: government's attempts to regulate social media and the moral decline of society).
The story clearly identifies "plastic" as the synthetic, cheap, easily consumed and digested content in social media (I think of "Barbie Girl" by Aqua, Madonna's "Material Girl"). Each of the main characters is participating in the so-called "art" in some way with a brief glimpse of a "normal person" who dies from eating "plastic".
The boy Brecken, from the outset, has already "evolved" into a full plastic eater. The mother, representing parents of young "social media artists" today, smothers him. This represents the consequences of parents allowing their children to consume and produce cheap, easy to consume exhibitionism eventually leading them to be killed by it (ex: kids being killed by their stalkers, older men being fans of young girls) as if the parent was the actual murderer.
Through the entire story, the main character Saul resists "evolving" into a plastic eater (ex: "tumor-like organs" that grow inside him = the cancers of society) using alien-looking tech just to eat and sleep (Ex: cpap, hospital surgical devices, feeding tubes, mechanised beds etc). Finally, after just giving in to "evolving" into a plastic eater does he find complete contentment and peace. However, never does he realize that his "painless" exhibitionism is the very cause of his morphing into a plastic eater; he's now desensitised to it all.
Along the way, we also meet two woman voyeurists who drill holes into people's heads representing the mindless, intellegence draining people of CZcams Channels and pornography; they create content that displays to everyone their so-called "inner beauty" but is secretely "horrific" for us to watch, and we can't turn our eyes away (ex: Adrienne, Ear Man, zipper device, etc.). In addition, Ear Man (Klinik) demonstrates how even the hippocritical Producer of his "Art" (ex: the music and entertainment industry) can be the very one who exploits the financial successes but joins the "popular" view of hating it (ex: anonymous likes, dislikes, etc.).
There are many more metaphorical references throughout the story and Cronenberg uses the genre as a warning of the future "horrors" of becoming "Plastic Eaters". Cronenberg asks us If we are disgusted by what we are watching and thus why are we not disgusted by what we "consume" in today's media? He suggests that if we are not disgusted by what we're watching, we're already a plastic eater. Indeed, ultimately society will become senseless, meaningless, painless, completely devoid of the characteristics that make us human if we don't stop eating plastic both metaphorically (ex: social media, empty entertainment, exhibitionism, voyeurism, pop culture, celebrity status, etc.) and physically (ex: oceans being full of plastic: fish eat it, we eat the fish). Neither has any nutritional value and can kill us metaphorically, physically, spiritually, and socially.
Social commentary done thru metaphors. Wow.... who gives a shit. Metaphors dosent mean it's a good movie.
@@justinamenta7241 its an excellent film. Films dont have to tell a story, and thats where the reviewers lost the point. Crimes of the Future builds on concepts explored in earlier works and is an excellent amalgalm of Crash, Naked Lunch, and Dead Ringers. Crimes is not meant to be a usual movie subject to usual formulas and critique. It explores concepts and these reviewer bros just wanted to sit back and be passively entertained. These are the same kind of simplton critics that played Dark Souls early on and said "there's no story" or "its sitting in the background" and called it a bad game when it was a fuckin masterpeice that didn't hold your hand.
Ahhhh shut up. That's the problems with these movies, it always attracts pretentious interesting wannabes
@@harrisjm62 I love all the souls games and the lore, but I absolutely did not enjoy this movie so sorry to disappoint
@@justinamenta7241ikr it was one of the worst films Iâve ever seen
Knowing Angry Joe, I knew they wouldn't like it at all but props to them for reviewing weird movies and not just the usual crap. This looks like something I'll enjoy.
This is exactly the kind of tilm i would like lol. But this one just misfired. Check out my Review for Men.
@@AngryJoeShow hi joe
@@AngryJoeShow debatable lol
@@AngryJoeShow y'all hate artsy movies what are you talking about lmao
@@AngryJoeShow lmao wtf you talking about dude?? You are the average dude bro. It's also in your name. This kind of movie would go completely over your heads 4 times over.
Anything more deep than marvel crap and you probably falling asleep like an 80 yo watching tv specifically for ads on obscure channels.
I honestly almost fell asleep in this one.
Iâve never even been close to falling asleep in the theatre before this mess. If melatonin doesnât work, go see this to have the best sleep of your life. Snooze.
I fell asleep in the first redo of godzilla like 20 years ago
I saw a guy fall asleep in 10,000 BC and i managed to outlast Blackhat! That movie sucked!
I'd actually rather watch Morbius. At least that movie blows by pretty damn fast with somewhat action.đ€·
i actually fell asleep watching Saw in theater :D
I started to really like the movie when they started delving more into the logic and the cause and their reasons. We never got to see the consequences of the New Vice or reasons for the murder (since it wasn't new vice), I feel like they focused on something else for this movie when there was good stuff that they chose to not delve into it.
EDIT: If you think that there were no character development, you didn't watch it.
EDITÂČ: The main character was constantly choking I feel like, because the movie was implying that he was producing new organs for his digestive system since there was a scene where he explicitly says that he is like that NOT because of his allergies and keeps going like that throughout the whole movie and the implications of that combined with the final scene is that, consuming 'plastic' IS humanity's natural course since he didn't have organs implanted.
Literally, yes. Metaphorically, The "Plastic" is like an Orwellian, Big-Brotheresque, propaganda driven future that one will need to learn to accept. This entire movie is a metaphor for where our society is heading. He also wrote it before social media, and it's only reinforced by current day BS online nonsense.
Your edits are dumb... we all understood that shit, but that movie sucked nevertheless. The methaphors were easy and cheap.
Imagine going to see a David Cronenberg film and being surprised itâs a David Cronenberg film.
The issue is that Cronenberg has actually made some interesting movies in the past. It sounds like the problem here is that the movie was put together poorly and couldn't properly get the story across. Hence, Alex wondering if the problems came from the editing rather than direction.
Without a plot to grab onto, viewer engagement takes a dive and the movie just becomes disturbing imagery for the sake of shock value, without any emotional context.
Andy Warhol: hold my beer! ;)
is everyone forgetting that we literally eat micro plastics every day?
This movie will leave you saying âthatâs it?â
It wasnât horrific at all or THAT gross. The amount of blood shown in the entire movie would fit in a tablespoon. I didnât like how they showed the childâs corpse (like ten years old) with full frontal nudity. That was completely unnecessary.
all his movies leave you confused and hanging. They are supposed to.
Welcome to the body horror master David Cronenberg.
This is a film about art criticism and I am to understand these folks were thinking it was a popular entertainment popcorn flick?
Yeah lol. These people don't get it. It's sad they bash the movie so confidently
I saw this film yesterday I can vouch I was asleep by the end
You didn't give it a 7 minute standing ovation at the end?
I just loved seeing "Cronenbergia" in a theatrical experience. Also I really liked the soundtrack by Howard Shore.
Your lucky. It was scheduled for release in my country before being pulled out mysteriously. I did watch it at home in a dark room and it was great!
I think they missed the point of the movie (that's fine). I found the ending totally satisfying. The question of the movie was "what is humanity" (imo) At what point are we not/are humans? And it made sense there is acceptance and rejection in this decision. Besides how gorgeous the movie is... and the music, it all fit. It kept everything just above depressed in terms of all elements. The only time you see the sun is the opening scene but the movie was not "dark". Loved it. Also the discomfort of the actors was great (body language).
I donât rly give a shit about the point of the film tbh if itâs not entertaining itâs not a good film
@@themistakery6834 Now consider that some people *were* entertained because they understood what the point was while they were watching it
@@themistakery6834 hard to be entertained by something if you donât actually understand whatâs being shown to you
ââ@@johnnypopstar correct, this is deffinately not a commercial movie, not everyone will get it
That's so obnoxious to say they missed the point. I got the point ,they got the point, we all did. That movie isn't that smart at all.
I liked it, itâs reminded me of the body horror movies in the 80s. I think itâll be one of those movies that people will come back to in 10-15 years and enjoy it but if not thatâs fine too. The story is interesting and without spoiling it for others it left me wanting to know more about the world and how wide spread it was so I think it could have had stronger potential as a series or a tv show. Glad Cronenberg is back and I hope we get more from him.
Iâm glad films like this are still made
u the creepy guy in the corner when i walk into the pub?
Better hope they never get a hold of your hard drive Trev.
@@Blackpanthersrevenge WASP
Me too... after so many comics bs productions and remakes
Alex's suggestion of basically a Bio Punk blade runner like mystery genuinely sounds more interesting than just vague "tampering with ourselves is bad" moral that not everyone might get.
However with that said I still might see it on streaming as I do like the bio punk genre.
2017's "Observer" game is quite close to your idea!
"tampering with ourselves is bad" is not the message or anywhere close to it. I don't think Joe and his friends understood this movie, at all
Like Crash, I think this is ahead of its time and will stimulate a following already into body modifications.
no it's not, it's dumb garbage written by a washed out director
Looked super interesting when I saw the trailer, but it sucks to see that it turned into another shitty horror movie... oh well.
Damn
If melatonin doesnât work, just go to this movie.
Itâs not really a horror movie, itâs disgusting and disturbing but doesnât try to scare the viewer. More of an artsy social commentary on the evolution of social norms/arts
So you take reviews as gospel
Horror is stretching it. It's more of a scifi film.
Disimagine how cleaner the future will be when weâre all Eating plastic.
The thumbnails are really all you ever need to look at when it comes to these videos lmao.
Are you guys going to be reviewing eps 1-3 of The Boys season 3?
Aw man, I saw it tonight, loved it đ I laughed out loud in the end.
đme toođ€
Other Joe got Cronenberged.
There were people walking out when they were doing the autopsy of they boy. And yes I heard the wound liking was walking out aswel
Have OJ and Alex seen Everything Everywhere All at Once? I think that wouldâve been a good movie for a full review.
Another arthouse sci-fi movie is After Yang, which is much different from Crimes of the Future and would probably get a mixed reaction from the guys, but it would still be interesting to hear them talk about it.
yes and they reviewed it
It probably took longer to type that comment than to check if they reviewed it. It was only a couple weeks ago
@@steohara6353 Your reading comprehension sucks. Joe posted a short review. It wasnât a full review and the other two specifically mentioned in the comment were not present.
@@Rob16164 there's no need to be a dick to them
Literally never heard of this movie until this review.
I mean that's just Cronenberg for you. Either big hit or massive miss. I'm still trying to figure out if he just got lucky with some of his movies in the past or if he just lost the magic nowadays.
If u make more than one great movie u aren't lucky he's just maybe not got much else to say like a lot of old fart directors
I was wondering what remotely recent ones were big hits? ?;- )
@@michaelthomas5433 Depends on what "remotely recent" means for you. Which is again dependent on your age aswell I'd say.
@@pRaX85815 Newer than 1999 eXistenZ? And I'm being generous naming that.
@@michaelthomas5433 Now that we've established that, we'd have to establish what one considers a big hit. Box office / money vs budget or critiques? A history of Violence and Eastern Promises would come to mind. Problem is, neither were written by him and only directed :D
Gonna put this in the library too. Cause Iâm still waiting to see âMEN.â
Yeah, that looks good
MEN sucked donkey ass through a sewage pipe.
This movie is actually way better đ
See Men in theaters, you can maybe avoid this one or wait to see it at home
Holy Christ this movie was bad.
I was so excited for another "body horror" Cronenberg movie... Jesus it was a bummer
This seems like one of those artsy movies that had a lot to say but didn't actually say anything aside from nihilism, self-harm, and grotesque celebration of body horror. Just because your movie is taboo doesn't make it good
Constantly refreshing Joe's CZcams waiting for him to completely blast diablo immortal
I was looking through your older reviews and realized you never did one for "The Expanse"...why? It's probably the best show to come out in decades.
Beltalowda
Wouldn't say best in decades, but it definitely earned a review..... Except the last 2 seasons...
He said in one of his videos, I think a halo review, that they review brand new shows or popular stuff. But yeah, the expanse is god tier.
Because nobody is watching expanse
@@saldabozz I was more asking why they never did one...and lots of people watch The Expanse and re-watch it. It's one of the best TV shows ever made in my opinion...and I'm sure I'm not alone. Hell I'd probably re-watch it again if they did a current review.
"I'm David Cronenberg mixed with David Lynch, stir David Berkowitz and a little David Fincher, they say i mince words that can paint a picture" - Sadistik
9:12 That is a sentence I have never thought I'd ever hear.
What in the fuck did I just watch. I kept waiting for something, not sure what but something, and then all of a sudden the credits started. Took me three days to watch it because I fell asleep. At 10 in the morning.
Thumbnail says it all.
Apparently this flew over everyone lols... I'd love to hear what these hacks think of Crash
oh poor baby
@@NatoHoro you're balls are small
3:33 OJ suddenly reviewing star trek picard again
i think i get what they were trying to say : eating plastic, excessive surgery, the artist needs to expel a part of himself or he will die, a painless society living only for pleasure etc.. It's all pretty clear symbolism, nothing completely new or original mind you, but i get it. Don't know if it's enough to make a good movie. Naked Lunch was a great movie because there was an interesting story behind it.
I suffer from insomnia, maybe I should see this in a movie theater with a recliner
David Cronenberg films have always been exclusively for Cronenberg fans and no one else. He is no where near mainstream. He is for extraneous tastes.
No. Hello, The Fly, The Dead Zone, Eastern Promises, A History of Violence, etc.
@@RobVespa all great movies that I love.
I just wish Joe could pronounce peoples names the right way
I wanna see it again but the theatre employees might think lowly of me
Wuss
i like how Joe's reviews dialogues and express the exact average audience understandig of the movies they rate, which makes me even more hyped for this one.
Couldnât agree more
Well yeah, most audiences members are made up of jelly brain low iq subhumans who cant understand deeper meanings unless the deeper meaning is told right to their face in the movie.
I loved it! Itâs a beautiful love story, very hopeful and thought provoking.
It's amazing! I also like how you called Joe an average movie watcher as he's not looking for any real depth in his entertainment, lol
Worded perfectly.
This movie is not for the average movie goer.
The allegories with fine art themes alone is enough to Confuse the average person
i tell you this in a metaphorical sense and not at all: you know what happens to your palate when you live on sugary garbage? the same as what happens to your imagination on the movies you watch.
It seems like a simulation of a realistic hell.
I enjoyed this film; Cronenberg went full Cronenberg which I can respect. I really do need a Breakfaster Chair though.
That was totally unbelievable bizarre scene in the movie & David Cronenberg is so good at making movies that make you really think about the future of our generations
Thanks for the heads up, Last movie I walked out of was The Ringer staring Johnny Knoxville.
avatar
@@Revan-eb1wb Lol.... Actually didn't mind that one, even though it was a shit story.
@@crocnockerable I was just bored out of my mind. I was hyped as hell and then I saw the movie and I fell asleep in the theater. I guess my expectations were too high because of james cameron
@@Revan-eb1wb Yeah it was kind of boring, but at the same time i saw it in 3d and was stoned out of my mind, so the visuals kept me very entertained... lol
@@crocnockerable i wish that i was high when watching the movie. I am still baffled that there will be 5 movies of that crap in total. I cannot believe it lol
Yâall gotta watch more Cronenberg films
I never seen the trailer of this but I donât care for this movie I would rather wait for a good one.
I think Iâm in the hated it camp too, I felt like I completely wasted my time.
I think it was being gross just to add shock value and be shocking but other than that Iâm fine any other purpose for it to be as gross as it was. They still couldâve told the story without even showing what was going on and it wouldâve been good for the same.
People walked out of my screen into, pretty early on so Iâm not sure if it was because of the grotesque nature or the same old bullshit that they felt so early on.
Walked out halfway through this movie, haven't done that since Sausage Party in 2016.
This movie was not made for the masses it was made for the Cronenburg Body Horror fans
If itâs like videodrome then itâs bad
New organs. Are we going to get a squeedily spooch.
Probably gonna go like this.
Critic score 100% this movie is pure art must see!
Audience score 0% at least movie theater seats are comfortable to sleep on now.
I guess. I thought the Morbius cameo was pretty cool though. "It's Morbin time!", that part was cool.
You guys actually.........major props
I thought this movie would be cool since the trailer reminded me of Cruelty Squad, I think Iâll just watch it on streaming.
I've never walked out of a film, but I have fallen asleep during one: BvS. Knocked out. Luckily I didn't pay for that ticket
if you want to watch good Cronenberg movies watch : 1981 scanners-1986 the fly-1983 dead zone-1983 videodrome or my personal favorite 1979 the brood you will never see a snowy winter the same after the brood
Scanners is meh
I was fooled by the trailer. wished I watched this before hand and save me the time
This movie was awesome. I can't wait to see it again.
Edgelord alert. We all recognize and praise you. So edgy. So impressive. You said the edgy thing with the edgy opinion. Amazing.
@@brednbudr2406 Thanks, man. Anytime you want the advice of an Edgelord then don't hesitate to ask. Funny, though, that offering my opinion on a movie is considered edgy by you... *waits 20 minutes*... wait a minute, you were being sarcastic! Oh your witty barb has really put me in my place. Thank you, arbiter of what people can post on CZcams.
â@@brednbudr2406 The movie ruled bro
Sigh
Well, this film had interesting ideas. However, I knew that the execution was going to be too FUCKING ARTHOUSE for its own good. I wish it was executed better for its own good so that the film could recoup its own budget instead of being too cool for school. It should hAve been like Malignant or Titane but more coherent.
It is a shame that apparently the story is side lined. Because it is possible to make art house movies and still have a great story, like every Robert Eggers film. The trailer looked cool for crimes of the future but apparently it was better than the movie. But I guess we have to judge for ourselves
@@Revan-eb1wb watch the movie for yourself. Itâs way too slow to recommend for a movie but it did have interesting ideas. Watch Malignant or Titane if you want a more exciting version. I dug the themes though
@@richgranados11 I have nothing against slow movies. Hell, I love robert eggers movies, blade runner 1 and 2049 and dune.. It all depends how it is executed
Cronenberg has been doing this for a while, Cosmopolis and Maps to the Stars are stories about the people who are distanced from the "real" world. Until the protagonists realize what is going on outside of their bubble, their rapture doesn't come and they are ignorant. I really liked that in this case he chose the world of artists, which is a good vehicle to define what is a revolutionary act or not. It is also a world Cronenberg is familiar with and hangs around.
I'm not even passed the into and I already know you guys are gonna give it a 2/3
It is cool to give a chance to everybody to express but, don't cast your pearls before swine.
this should have been a premier at a paris fashion show with all the other over the top oddballs.
I am glad you watched this so I don't have to.
Can't wait to watch Joe try to make sense of Crimes of the Future
I mean have you guys never watched Naked Lunch by Cronenberg, this movie is like a spiritual continuation of it. Granted its not my thing either but I expected it.
Felt like they chucked away the best aspects of the story to focus on the psycho sexual stuff. Not one of DC best. One thing I do like is how the future tech props have the same design aesthetic as Existenz.
"There is a story here. But the problem is, *the story is the hidden part"* - immediately, I thought Alex will give this a 5, or less! LOL! OJ: may go for a 3, or less, and AJ: Most probably a 5, for the idea(s) behind the "hidden story!" I was more interested in your review, than this movie's premise! Enjoyed the opinions. :)
Thats not a bug, its a feature. People criticized Dark Souls for the same reason on release, and later realized it was a damn masterpeice with tons of story that you have to actively unfold rather than passively take in.
The people in the showing with you were probably only there because they couldnât get tickets for Top Gun đ
I saw both. Honestly, they were both as disappointing
@@richgranados11 stfu if you were disappointed with Maverick, you got no taste
I didnât like it but Iâm kinda glad I watched it. I would have always wondered
A new cronenberg film? I never heard of this * runs from the spoilers*
Jokes on everyone, this will win best picture at the oscars
lol
Babylon
Thanks, I'll give it a miss ... I'm not into French progressive horror experiences
This sounds like a bioshock prequel
Itâs been so long since an actual game review:/
Guy in the middle wearing a Star wars t-shirt says it all. Star wars is for kids and sucks ass. Crimes was a fascinating film. Loved the world he created and the concepts
The movie makes completely no sense.
107 minutes of my life lost in the theater with no way of getting them back. Please don't be like me.
lets make a crazy movie exploring post futurism of genetic manipulation and human nature, we will use cgi and props, and it will be a cult hit.
Movie comes out, and they forgot that at the end of the day, executes and limits of human imagination took the wow factor away in favour of just visual gore.
So is Cronenburg going to be like CBS and block Joe because he didnât care for his movie or is he going to be an adult and realize that people have different views?
More interested in the movie "Men" personally. I'd like to see your alls opinions on that.
I liked it. I recognize itâs flaws but still really enjoy the experience.
You guys should review older movies suggested in the comments.
Or old movies you all haven't seen.
This flew over all your heads
The lack of Giger stuff really disappointed me, it felt like it was in the movie superficially and seemed out of place.
If you watch it at home you can't leave but you sure as hell can turn it off.
Lil Joe best review ever..."It was fuqin stupid." yup
One of the worst movies I have ever seen lmao
These guys didn't enjoy a Cronenberg film? Color me shocked. They should stick to Top Gun.
You should watch The Sadness on Shudder Joe.
If you watch it at home , you canât leave lol
Yes! I wanted to see this one!
Well
SPOT ON âcrime against my timeâ fml Iâm soooo mad