r/Bestof I Have to Arrest My Own Parents
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- čas přidán 9. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:09 Identity theft
5:33 Truth or lie
12:25 Too worried
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
How crappy is it to have your whole friend group conspire against you so that some second fiddle would get a second chance?
Don't you mean a first chance?
@@Wolfie713 no, I think it was more of a last Chance. Because If they were friends as long as op said they were, then there were multiple chances long before the boyfriend first showed up. The thing is this guy was a coward who couldn't say anything sooner and had to have this whole orchestration Just to have A last chance. I have nothing against shy people or people who have a hard time asking people out, and I don't even have a problem with wingmen and wing women, But breaking someone up via a lie Is crossing the line no matter what the reason.
@@arrow9182 I'm not disagreeing with how awful they were to do that, just that if they hadn't dated before, then it was his first chance. Btw nice job upvoting your own comment.
It happens a lot…
fr I'd have insane trust issues after that. I'm glad it seems to have worked out well for OP and I hope she finds better friends too.
Story 2 - Man I want to say this. Its incredibly obvious to me based on these posts why her boyfriend took her back so easily. She had the perfect opportunity to blow off the responsibility for this onto her friends. But in her email she didnt blame anyone except herself. She also publicly called them out on facebook apparently and fully cut them off.
Taking responsibility for what happened is such a massive green flag that it's nuts. Well done on OP for being a top of the line person and if she keeps that up then she 100% will end up with a ring. Good for her and her boyfriend I wish them the best.
I can't fathom how people are like "I'd never take them back." But if it was one, maybe two people against the bf, then I'm sure she would have not questioned it at all.
But an ENTIRE group of people said yes. That is a LOT of yes's compared to no's.
I feel bad for her, but if I was in the same boat, I hate to say it, majority wins, even if I don't want to believe them.
She took responsibility, took the correct actions, and made it known that he didn't have to even read the message, that she'd understand. Sounds like a good person to me.
I still have some reservations based on OP's post about him but not much. Getting physical and punching a wall are both massive red flags but the situation was really extreme.
Edit : It seems I need to clarify, normally those actions would be massive red flags as their indicators for domestic violence but given the extreme nature of the situation, I don't think it's a big deal.
I mean, fair, but I don't think I would be able to do so in such a case.
@@unknowngamer37415- For the record, the post said he *nearly* punched the wall, not that he did. He probably like balled up his fists in anger and stuff, and she interpreted it as him wanting to punch a wall. He didn’t actually do so.
@@unknowngamer37415 Honestly, if I was accused by so many randoms of doing something awful to my SO that I know I didn't do and I had no ways to prove others wrong, I would also want to break stuff in a desperate attempt to shut anyone's up and escape that lie.
But compared to Josh, I dunno how I would react if said SO would reach out and apologize. I'd probably be so fucked up and filled with trust issues to the point I wouldn't try to date people anymore.
If you’re evil enough to open a credit card in your kid’s name, you deserve jail time!
Yep. Eff those a-holes. How could you do that to your own child?
More like a forced labour camp...
My mom opened a credit card in my name & claimed it was hers when I said I was leaving her, despite the card being under MY name & social
Straight up evil to willingly screw over your kid like that.
Growing up I watched my mom struggle with debts so I've done all I can to avoid it, it's a serious fear of mine.
One of my closest friends went through this with his mother. She never paid her bills so she just rotated putting the bills into each of her 4 children's names. When he finally got out on his own he couldn't get a phone, internet, and some utilities until he paid the accounts in his name. In total these accounts plus the credit cards in his name came just shy of 10k. His choices were either pay them, which he didn't have the money to do, or wait the 7 years until these fell off his credit report. He ultimately had to go with the latter option. We froze his credit and put all his utilities in my name. He's a really great guy despite his upbringing and is doing much better now.
Last story: I feel like I actually remember a story were the mother died in child-birth and the father was taking it out on said child. And the kid decided to clap back with a comment of "YOU knocked her up, so in a way YOU killed her" and the father just completely shut down. If you think getting your wife pregnant is going to kill her, then I'd argue you were the one to kill her.
I remembered that story. I hope OP has a better life than his sperm donor
I’ve always hated it when one parent dies in childbirth and the other takes it out on the child who NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN. Like that’s your kid man, you chose to bring them into this world, they didn’t.
@@doodlethealien8889
And especially because that child is the last thing you have of your spouse. AND do you think your spouse would want you abusing the child they died for? It's like disrespecting them.
@@BILLCIPHER8 EXACTLY 😭 like I’d hate for my child to be treated poorly by their other parent if I were to die bringing them into the world. That’s the last of me they have and a child in that scenario is what we wanted.
@@doodlethealien8889 YES. Plus I would be so angry and disappointed in my partner for treating my child badly. It's just an awful situation all around :(
For the first story: It’s hard to realize that there are MANY parents who feel entitled over their kids lives. smh
Yup. Some parents don’t see their kids as people, but retirement investment. Source: my grandmother was like this to all her kids and grandkids, and now she’s bitter and all but completely alone as she deserves
It's disturbing that the parents don't care about it just expect the kid to be okay with it.
Yeah the more friends I made the more I realized my parents were rare in how little they laid claim to me,
they even gave me my portion of my tax return from them claiming me once I started making money
Right just because they birthed them doesn't mean they are your doll it's disgusting honestly
I brought you into this world without your say! Obviously I can do whatever I want to your life! Me me me
For the first story I want to point something out for all those who see this comment. If you have a similar situation where the debt that a company is attempting to collect, is not yours, and was put there by fraudulent means never ever ever ever put any sort of payment towards it. Once you have put any sort of payment towards it you can no longer deny the debt is not yours and are now on the hook for it. They can threaten to sue all they want but they have no legal grounds especially if you have a police report.
Exactly, they aren't the bank or any kind of licensed legal firm, they're 3rd party companies who only care about the debt being paid and will say and do anything to get it done regardless of the law.
That is so horrendously scummy, what the fuck!?
THIS!!! THANK YOU!!!!! If you acknowledge the debt in _any way possible,_ they _WILL_ see it as you confirming that the debt is YOURS. _DO _*_NOT_*_ PAY THEM A SINGLE CENT!_ They are BANKING on their customers not knowing their rights as a consumer! Show them you are *NOT* an idiot, and then inform them calmly but _FIRMLY_ that you _contest the debt._ Then give them the personal information of the person that stole from you, along with any other evidence of their theft & fraud. Once you officially contest the debt, they have to re-investigate from the very beginning. But _of course_ they won't find anything. As per usual.
So true. When I married I tried to negotiate with the bank holding my spouse's student debt and they tried the same thing. If I had made a single payment I would have been on the hook, folks! I offered to pay the principal, which amounted to thirty thousand dolars and they tried to tell me they could put a lien on the house I has inherited from my grandmother, which is totally untrue.
In Canada if a student debtor does not make a payment for a period of time (it was five years back then, but may have changed) they can declare bankruptcy and be discharged. A single payment restarts the clock. My partner declared bankruptcy and escaped the debt entirely, so the bank played hardball and lost everything.
Further, there was a petty revenge story on reddit a few years ago about an ex who deliberately made small payments on her deadbeat husband's student loans for that very reason. I think that was in the USA. Either way, one should check local laws before ever making a payment onsomeone else's debt. Always remember that debt collectors lie like a Trump!
Yeah, the whole "we gonna sue you if you don't pay" was obviously a way to get OP on the hook, because I doubt they would actually sue OP if they didn't accepted to make the 'goodwill payment', and if they did anyways... well a judge would rip the lawsuit on their lawyers' faces and rip them a new one for doing a fraudulent lawsuit;
They knew if they sued OP by refusing the bs payment they would be the ones in legal trouble, not OP. They probably banked on OP falling for their hollow ultimatum and getting into actual legal trouble they could collect.
The last story: It sounds like the ex and his father would try to kill Op if she didn't die at child birth. I wouldn't be supprised that when the ex was going to his father, they were ploting a way to kill Op without making it look like a murder if she didn't die at child birth.
That's exactly what I was thinking
Lol traumatized into becoming murderers. Sounds like a good backstory for the next villain in a movie
With that theory I’d wager the father projecting onto his son that if he didn’t get to have his wife after the baby was born then his son shouldn’t either. That any alternative was unreasonable to reality because it’s the only way to justify his wife dying.
But that’s just a theory...
Right, it almost feels like they’d be disappointed when her and the baby inevitably survive.
Sounds like an episode of Forensic Files...
$2000 on a card has me in shambles, I can't imagine $15k
I actually have to fill a police report today for 2050 (Only 1500 of it i need to worry about)
However, if the check doesn't bounce (Which i suspect it will) then nothing to worry about.
@Gashnaw best part is it's all fake money. There's probably not a single actual doller tided to that amount or any amount
Yeah me too but I did it to myself
@@lordshaxx4693 yeah i know. But living on less than 20 bucks a month. Sounded too good to be true. So i jumped on it. I wished my red flags shot up quicker.
I mean my first flag should have been a start location the actual location. My next should have been money hidden in a trash can. The third should hav never meting the guy, my forth shiuld have been withdrawing 1500, my fifth should have been putting that 1500 into crypto.
It wasnt unttil he asked "do you want to make another 1500 tonight" did i realize that i fucked up.
$15k that somebody else spent! 🤬
Just an FYI, illegal eviction is not a civil matter and police shouldhave intervened. It’s very sad to see cops being too lazy to do their fucking job. If that ever happens to you, look up the law and pointed to their face and demand that they help you enter your residence instead of sending you on your way without doing their job.
depends on where OP lives
Yeah that isn't true in every state or country. It's a pretty debatable law in general since there are obvious reason why a sudden eviction might be necessary, but they also can easily be used to screw over perfectly good people.
They see it as a family matter and family matters are never worth the time on something "small" like an eviction.
last story, the thing that blows my mind is that the (ex)FIL was expressly trying to FORBID the use of an epidural. its not just about pain relief: lower stress levels can increase the chance of survival. i think exFIL was plotting something tbh.
I remember the last story! People in the comments begged her to check if her ex-husband got life insurance policies for her without her knowledge cuz everything sounded like father and son were ready to do something to OP after the baby was born
So creepy. It really does sound like they've already pre-written a script of the (tragic) post-birth life and just cast any sufficiently suitable woman in it, ready on standby with a 'helpful nudge' in anything goes not according to plan. And not just a misunderstanding and people being stupid, not seeing past the shared trauma bubble.
My mother did the exact same thing to me. Kicked me out at 16, and then a couple years later as I started getting my life together and tried to get a car for a job I had, I found out my credit score was in the 300s. Credit cards, utility bills, two cars. She went insane with my ssn. It took me a few years to get most of it off, but some of those collection agencies just don’t care about doing the right thing, even with a police report.
They are aggressive, but if you have the report and it's under investigation, you can quite politely tell them to pound sand.
@@d4rk0v3 oh I did. Didn’t stop them from hounding me for years.
@@Homicidalbus Harrasment lawsuit and press are good weapons.
@@Emesh83 I was a dumb teenager that was scared lol. I got it handled eventually
That is super unfair.
Story 3: “Trust me, he has a commanding presence and he will get his way in the delivery room.” Oh honey, bless your heart! The moment he causes a ruckus his ass would be out of that room. You and the baby take precedent and the nurses and doctors will not give a flying fiddle what comes out of his mouth. Period. That man-child would be put in his place pronto.
THIS. I can confirm that the midwives and nurses truly do not give a flying fuck about that BS. If the mother wants him gone, he is GONE, period.
Hell, I worked in an ER and the LD nurses scared us, lol. They straight up called the cops on folks who made a stink in their lobby. Since it was overnights and LD was upstairs from us (great set up by the way, we were able to get patients into LD incredibly fast, which meant I didn't have to deal with the lady who started crowning on the elevator since they got her on a bed as soon as the doors opened.), we got to see cops run through our lobby for LD more than once.
@@transsnackI wonder if it's the in-laws or the mom's own parents/family that gets called on more 🤔 or a toxic ex
If there is someone who would definelty won't deal with anyone's BS are midwives.
isn't it also illegal for the FIL to make medical decisions on OP's behalf too? my understanding goes its you, then your spouse, then your parents by default and then after that you have to have it in writing for someone else to make those decisions and you can even remove your spouse and parents if you want. also you have to be unable to make decisions, such as being unconscious, before medical staff start talking to your emergency contacts.
“Trust me, you haven’t met this man”
Well, OP, the labor and delivery nurses have. And worse. Just make it clear, FIL is NOT allowed in under any circumstances and he will not be in there.
I imagine it depends on the individual nurses though - never say never
This.
And, the labour and delivery nurses have hospital security, and even the police, to back them up if needed.
@@NiennaFan1 it's pretty illegal to allow uninvited people into hospital rooms. They're not even allowed to confirm or deny if a patient is in the hospital if they haven't given clear permission. If the FIL made it in there, the OP could have sued the hospital.
Well OP doenst know that, does she
@@transsnack Oh that's great!
I’m thinking the ex-father in law in the last story wanted to have a shared trauma bond with his son. Of course it’s fine to be ready for anything, of course it’s expected to be paranoid after the ex’s mom died of childbirth, but it’s not normal to expect it to all go to the worse case scenario.
Story number 2 I've had friends who dealt with stuff like this. Her solution was to ask about the photo that they all saw. Describe the color of her hair the pose that she was in the story that he told. The picture they all tried to describe were different and did not exist
What awful people. I'm so happy her boyfriend forgave her, it would be understandable if he wanted to move on instead but as Rslash said, it's also understandable to think you can trust the entire friend group you've had since highschool. It's such a messy situation to be in because everyone involved is someone you thought you could trust, you know SOMEONE is lying and figuring out who is a crap shoot. You don't want to believe your SO broke trust but you also don't want to believe your friends are conspiring against your relationship but you're also inclined to believe the numbers.
She's delulu if she thinks they can co parent, and have it where the FIL doesn't ever meet her. Her ex will 100% allow them to meet and spend time together without her knowledge. She needs to fight for supervised visitation or sole custody if that's the case.
Exactly!!! I'll have the exFIL and ex both restraining order to stay away from both me and my daughter.
Never take bankruptcy lightly. Your credit is important for many things aside from home ownership. Having a good credit score means you get better interest rates on car loans, credit card offers (24 months of 0% APR followed by 7% APR can be so helpful vs a 30%+), financing furniture like a couch at 0% APR. Getting approval for a rental property, a background check for a job. High interest keeps you treading debt instead of being able to pay things off and a bankruptcy can harm your future career options. The mindset behind what his parents did is so messed up
Also do not make a good faith payment for a debt that isn’t yours! They can use that as your acknowledgment that you owe it
Edit: Also, if the debt *is* yours, still don’t make a “good faith payment” (that’s just a manipulation tactic). You are agreeing to pay the total owed by doing so. Instead negotiate a lower payment in full. Any payment no matter how small also restarts the statute of limitations for the debt
You shouldn't be financing a car or furniture, and interest rates on credit cards shouldn't matter because you should always pay them off in full each month so you never pay interest. If you follow some basic rules like budgeting and keeping an emergency fund you'll never need to worry about interest rates until you buy a house. I do agree, however, that bankruptcy is a big deal and should be avoided.
These parents seem convinced that filing for bankruptcy is a magic reset button and they're gaming the system. He needs to cut them out fast before they try to get him to buy NFTs, they're entirely financially illiterate.
@@Dog_in_treesure, but there are ways to use 0% interest loans in your favor. For instance, you need to spend 15k on an hvac system in your home. You put it on a card at 0% APR for 24 months. You put the 15k you could have spent up front in a high yield savings account making 5%. After 24 months you made money instead of paying interest or losing that interest you could have made. Credit cards can be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, but they can also be used in your favor. Not everyone wants to drop 3k on a mattress up front. It’s okay to spend $250/month for a year accruing no interest while utilizing your savings to make money in other investment accounts. But basically yeah, having bad credit keeps you poor and having good credit gives you opportunities to make more money.
And that they still wanted to max out the rest of the cards in the meantime! For the record OP did NOT get their parents arrested. They got THEMSELVES arrested. And they deserve every bit of whatever they get. It’s bad enough when strangers steal your identity but your own parents??
About the story "too worried":
The husband and FIL never once brought up how much thier going to miss op or that they love her amd want her to see doctors to ensure everything is OK. They DID ask her to update her life insurance and ear mark the stuff she wanted her daughter to have. Is that sus to anyone else?
I noticed that too. I feel like if they really thought that she was going to die, they should have tried to make the pregnancy as easy on The Wife as possible to lower the chances of anything happening. But no, instead they push it down her throat that she’s going to die. It almost felt like they were trying to stress her out in the hopes that he would cause complications. I would be stressed out too if all you hear is you’re gonna die on this day. Although I probably would have left the minute that stuff started terrified that in the future that they were going to try to kill me.
Story 1: I heard of trashy parents, but putting your own son into debt is one of the scummiest things you can ever do. Just because their parents did it to them when they were OP'S age, doesn't mean it makes it okay! These "parents" deserved to have the cops called on, they literally committed identity theft, credit card fraud, and unlawful eviction. Jesus.
Also the fact that they hid it proves they know and knew full well it was wrong.
OP, "We're back together and its great because I have no trust issues!". Completely ignoring the fact he probably has trust issues because she didnt believe him
Hey, if 6 people are telling me a person did something, I'm way more inclined to believe them over the person. Humans are tribal.
@@DopeioThePhoneBoiwell hopefully they both will go into counseling-they obviously want to give them another chance!!
@@DopeioThePhoneBoi While her actions are understandable to a degree, hard to believe friends like that didn't have previous red flags after all, it still hurt the boyfriend. He did nothing wrong but was still betrayed, even if she had a valid reason to doubt it its completely understandable he'd have trust issues over that.
@DopeioThePhoneBoi Especially people you've known most of your life
He may have trust issues for sure. Hopefully he can overcome them. For me, I think my trust issues would be whether she trusts me and will believe me so the fact that she seems to may ease his own insecurities a bit :-) I hope it works out well for them and those “friends” should feel guilty for life.
The scary bit about the first story is that when I was a kid, there is no way my parents could do this because NOBODY would issue a loan or a credit card to someone with no credit history. Now that they will issue credit cards to anyone, it’s easy for a parent to fraudulently open lines of credit on a minor or young adult.
I mean, literally, my first “loan” was a “frozen assets” loan with my mom putting up the money as security.
i wish that to open up a credit card you need to be 18 and it needs to be in person or over zoom. that would reduce the chance for parents to pull bs like this. it would also make it easier to catch identity thieves too, if you need to give your picture ID, which will then be on record, in order to open up the accounts.
Story 2: Maaan…at least they ended up together in the end.
My only question is how did the forner “friends” react when Op cut them off?
What awful people
I bet they all act like the victims, or using the 'We did this to protect/best for you', bs excuse.
They probably didn't care much, after all Alex had already had his fun with OP
So like.. In the last story.. If they were so scared she would die from giving birth, wouldn't you want her to feel a little less pain via an epidural or laughing gas? Isn't that supposed to help make it easier to give birth and if something were to happen, it would be easier for the EDUCATED PROFESSIONALS WHO ARE LITERALLY STANDING BY TO HELP do their job? Its good she's divorcing that dude. He is beyond corrupt on that front and honestly, I wouldn't want my daughter near him either.
I'm guessing there's a lot of people who going to relieved by the update to the last story.
I've seen it referenced as "guy and his dad who were planning to end OP, if she didn't die in childbirth story" more than once. And I'm not even on Reddit.
People were legit worried about her all over the internet.
My thoughts too. I was starting to worry that maybe the ex father in law was actually going to be upset that OP didn’t die. His overwhelming authoritative demeanor especially if he had been allowed in the delivery room would have been terrifying for OP as she was in such a vulnerable position
In cases like the OP in the first story, NEVER make any type of payment to any of the debt holders without first speaking to a lawyer and/or financial advisor.
Generally, making a payment, of any amount, means accepting responsibility for that debt.
Also, it is the job of the police, not the collection agency to 'investigate the issue'.
OP was correct to tell the collection agency where to go. OP reported it to the police, the police were investigating, and the only thing the collection agency was entitled to from OP was the police report number.
Story 1: "My own mom did this to me" and instead of breaking the cycle of financial abuse, you continue it- gosh. At least OP did a great move by not telling his parents about the police report. As Rslash mentioned, they didn't told OP about the credit card. Not only that, BUT the mom was actively getting the mail before OP could see it. Meaning if the mail hadn't come earlier that day, he would still be in the dark about the whole thing.
Story 2: WOW- that friend group is atrocious- IMAGE breaking a couple just so you could get your friend laid- gosh-
I love Rslash’s laughter in the first story, he truly enjoyed the part where the OP didn’t tell the parents about the police report 😭😭💀💀
Story 1: OP, they stopped being your parents the instant they made the unilateral decision that your credit score was expendable and told you “just go bankrupt or GTFO.”
Story 3: I think OP’s father in law started the insinuations she’d die too AFTER she was already pregnant. So it really wouldn’t be weighing on his mind so heavily before hand. At least that’s my guess
That last op needs to be careful about her ex trying to kidnap her kid or even worse. Her ex FIL is a controlling narcissist that will kill if pressured
Last Story: I bet the Ex was excited and completely fine until his father wormed his way in and ruined the relationship.
Cops: “If you want him out, you have to evict him.”
Next day parents throw things out and change the locks.
Cops: “Ehh, it’s a civil matter.”
Useless 🙄
Imagine having the audacity to commit several crimes, and then when someone reports you, you lose your mind and commit another crime as well...
Very ebic
Story 1 - Fun fact about government work and credit scores (in the USA). Security Clearance is directly tied to credit. (The reasoning is bad credit/debt is a weakness that bad actors can exploit.) But also... "My parents did it to me, so that makes it okay." WTH?!?
yeh. they're the type of people that abuse their kids because their parents abused them. as someone that was horribly abused the logic makes no sense to me. i don't know how someone would refuse to break the cycle
Story 3: Of all the things my ex did to me, him insisting I would have no say in who he invited into the delivery room was one of the most violating. I still feel sick thinking about it. The fact that OP does not feel her voice matters in this issue, alone, is enough to seriously consider pulling away from the whole family. She is not an object for them to use, gawk at, and discard!
Story 1: Narcissistic parents who think they can abuse their kid's credit score and SSN and don't think they'll get in trouble for it. OP was right to press charges because this was a federal crime! Heck, I didn't even know much about my own credit score but now I check it regularly since I'm looking to get my own residence. The fact the parents "disowned" OP (basically threw his stuff out) all, because they were throwing a tantrum for being caught in identity theft, is basically more on the pyre that is their "lifestyle" going up in flames. Hope OP also told all the neighbors.
Story 2: OP needs new friends. They ruined OP's relationship and nuked their whole friendship just because they wanted OP to "date within the group" and saw the outsider (Josh) as a threat. So they pulled this BS and then pushed OP to date Alex (who probably long had a crush on OP which the rest of the group knew about and wanted to "be wingmen", but were upset she was dating someone else). Glad OP got out once the truth came out because friends or friend groups you've known for a long time can become toxic before you know it (or have already been toxic and you never knew till it's too late). Also happy that OP got to repair her relationship with Josh and hope they stay strong together.
Story 3: WTF?????? I get trauma from learning your wife died birthing your child...but to put that same trauma and fear into your ADULT SON to then project it onto his wife is next-level crazy. I mean, at first, the concerns for OP's safety may have been ok because it's the first child. However, to then continuously hover to the point of making OP uncomfortable and likely making active plans to be in the birthing room is far past boundary limits. AND TELLING OP TO BASICALLY SORT HER AFFAIRS "IN THE CASE OF HER DEATH" IS SO WILD!!! Were they expecting OP to die in labor?! Forget just needing a therapist, OP's husband needs a government team to lock him away in full psychiatric hold. Glad OP saw a therapist and got away from this toxicity. Plus the fact the ex-husband ran to daddy dearest (literally the source of the crazy) who then rallied his family to harass OP! I pray OP kept all the messages before changing her number because she needs a restraining order against the entire family.
This!! I legit couldn't agree more. You explained this perfectly and I wholeheartedly agree!!! Thank you so much for sharing! ❤
Last story: Husband let dad brainwash him into buying into bullshit.
Story 3: "My ex isn't a bad father, he loves our baby girl" sounds so wrong to my ear after all the awful crap the ex did and was involved in, especially with no news of the ex having started to work on self-improvement since OP left. Can you really say someone isn't a bad parent if they are involved in harassing their child's other parent and they escalate when confronted about lying about getting help? Stuff like that sets a horrible example for your children (and we aren't even talking about the risk of the child getting in contact with the crazy ex-FIL behind OP's back; if the ex lied about getting therapy, what else could or would he lie to you about?). Plus, what is the ex going to do if his daughter gets pregnant someday if he doesn't get his issues sorted out by then? That's got lots of potential to bring forth even messed up abuse.
I really hope that co-parenting thing works out fine because I'm worried for the kid, what with a nutjob of an extended family like her father's.
Story 1: call Laura how they think they can be mad at their son for reporting them for a crime. They absolutely did commit, but would put him in debt jail for the next several years. And keep in mind they told him to file bankruptcy after they were done using my credit cards. So on top of 15,000 in their son’s name, they were planning on doing more.
But you know there’s a special place in jail for people like this. And I doubt they’re getting any kind of leniency when I pointed out that when they found out, their son reported them he just so happened to have ended up homeless.
Story 3: NTA. They're both insistent on throwing more and more stress on you. Keep them the hell out of the delivery room. This is psychotic.
I have a good ole hypothetical about the last story, hypothetically years down the line when Opie's daughter gets married and has kids of her own, is her dad going to try to put the same thoughts that his own father put in his head, but in the future son in laws head? Or how even as the daughter ages and goes to visit her father when she's older, like late teens, young adults ages, is he going to instill that fear in her that she could die during childbirth? This is a cycle that needs to be stopped before it's even started.
That's what I was thinking, too!
That last story made me assume that the father in law was planning on murdering OP
Regarding the last story: Every legal adult should make sure to have a will. It could always happen something and it’s putting way less stress on the grieving friends and relatives if you do that while you still can.
Damn, the last one 💀 that dad is a psycho
Last story: to answer your question R/, best case scenario is he didn’t start thinking about this until after she got pregnant. Unfortunately, worst case scenario is he cared more about a father than his wife. Also, I can’t stop thinking about how he called her paranoid wild being so certain she was going to die, giving birth. He demanded she write a will, and go through all of her possessions.
What I thought too! I was like “YOU’RE calling HER paranoid???” Talk about gaslighting
Story 3:They have issues,LOTS AND LOTS OF ISSUES!!!!!
OP,Good that you divorced that person
The last story gives _True Crime_ vibes. Like, it legit sounds like the (soon to be ex) husband and FIL were PLANNING to have OP k¡IIed and were going to play it off like complications from childbirth. I'm genuinely surprised that this didn't occur to her. She's a fool for allowing this man near her child at all. There is _no way_ that he's NOT letting his father have contact with their child. The FIL is DEFINITELY around that baby when the husband has her.
S2: I can’t exactly blame OP. I mean, your entire friend group, who you’ve been with since high school, telling you the same story? It’s hard to believe every single one of your friends would fck you over like that. I wouldn’t have blamed Josh for not coming back, either, because that is a hard blow. But if they’re happy and figuring things out, good for them!
I remember reading the story about the dad convinced the wife will die but there was no update, just ended with “he has a commanding presence and the nurses will listen” followed by silence. I am so glad there is a positive update
Okay, but rSlash going "I'm here for that beverage" made me lose it a bit. 🤣
Cue *chicka-chicka-wah-wah* 😂
Just like rSlash said that he wouldnt get together with OP in the 2nd story, I wouldn't either, unless some clearly boundary was establish but at the very least she did cut contact with all those people
I normally would agree. But the way OP talked in the post and especially the email she sent him make me think twice. She took 100% responsibility for what happened even though she really didn't have to. It would have been so easy to just blame the friends and not have any accountability at all and honestly, I wouldn't have entirely blamed her if she had. So not doing that is a crazy huge green flag.
@@shortwave737 i agree it just that with some people they wouldn't forgive their ex for it, so I feel like OP and Josh like the rare situation where forgivence and getting back together happen
2nd story: Can anyone really blame OP though? She trusted her close friends who all shared the exact same story. If they were normal people and not apparently sociopaths, that would have been the correct thing to do. She’s also a victim. But I’m glad it worked out for then
This is important about bankruptcy!!!! Things changed after the housing market crash 15 years ago. Before, bankruptcy would fall off your credit after 7 or so years. Now, it's on your credit forever.
To answer Dabney's question on the last story, re: why knock your wife up if you think she will die in childbirth. I believe the answer to that would be "Munchausen By Proxy", which is possibly what had been affecting the FIL ever since the loss of his wife. Just my uneducated guess.
Trust me, OP. Labor and delivery nurses have seen it all. Those women will stand up against egotistic doctors.
Story 2: with "friends" like those, who needs enemies?
And yes, Josh is way too forgiving. Funny how OP speaks about having trust issues, when Josh has every reason in the world to never trust her again.
"He has a very commanding presence". Trust me, as someone who used to be a nurse, there are few forces on this earth more furious than a team of nurses who suspect their female patient is being mistreated by the men in her life. His chances of getting his own way in the delivery room against the mother's wishes are somewhere zero and the freezing pits of hell.
Story 1: A message to OP’s parents, Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
FYI, always freeze your credit score access on 3 credit Bureaus and temporary unfreeze when applying for credit card, car loan etc.
Story 2: There seems to be a pattern of basically having a phobia of just admitting from the start that you hate someone. These friends should've just said how they felt about Josh before all of the lying, and now OP's just dumped the entire friend group entirely.
Honestly, I think OP would've left anyway if they were honest.
Whats with people "shipping" real life people to the point of ruining a relationship? Its unhealthy
Never EVER do a "good faith payment"! That's how the collection agencies can legally pin the debt to you and hold you liable for payment or garnishment.
Edit: this just occurred to me, but a family member of mine had things go to collections often, so they'd try to call us too. If you answer the phone, only ever say hello, they'll ask for "name", only reply with "may I ask who's calling?". Don't ever confirm anything until you know who you're talking to, and only if you want to confirm anything with said caller.
Ya know, Reddit actually helped me in a bit of an odd way. Seeing these crappy parents can be has made me less jaded with my own parents 😂
Nobody should feel bad or responsible for their parents taking advantage of them. Youre supposed to predict that the people most responsible for protecting you are actually the most dangerous people in your lives?
Also, if you're in this situation, don't listen to creditors when they tell you to make "good faith" payments. You don't owe a god damn thing if you have a solid fraud case.
I wonder if the ex father in law is mad OP didn’t die from delivery
Someone screaming "I DONT NEED THERAPY" 😂😂😂😂
Dying in childbirth: holy crap! I didn't know there was an update to that story! I have legitimately worried about that woman a lot over the last couple of years
First story: I'm honestly kinda curious about the mom's side of the "my parents did this to me when I was your age" argument. Was *she* (the mom) responsible for taking care of the bills that her parents left her/actually filed for bankruptcy or did she lie and possibly convince the dad to do the same?
I wouldn’t be surprised that the FIL “offed” his wife for insurance money and brainwashed his son (the husband) into doing the same. Black widow spider style. From what OP describes, he sounds a dangerous man, and she is right to keep her daughter away from him. 😮
Last story: paranoid about his wife dying in childbirth? Where have i heard that one before...?
For the last story I wonder if husband's mom had a life insurance, if she did, then this would be like a weird generational plan to get rich.
While he is free to make his own decisions, I don't know if I would have taken her back. It's not so much the fact that op believed other people over him, or even the fact that she was calling him a liar, it's the fact that she believed that he could do something that scummy. I get that she trusted her friends and her boyfriend, so there's a twisted majority rule.
Last story. I dont think the ex-husband thought about OP dying in childbirth until she got pregnant, and the father-in-law hooked onto that stress and hammered in the possibility.
Both of them have some severe trauma that needs to be dealt with. Unfortunately for the father-in-law, that trauma seems to be a core personality trait, so it is unlikely ever to get fixed.
Fun fact: parents putting things in their child's name is stupidly common amongst poor people. It's one of the biggest contributing factors in generational poverty. OP's mom stated that her mom did it to her too, her grandmother likely did it to her mom too. Most of the time it's utility bills and credit cards, because for some reason neither of those things are required to make sure the name/SSN they're given matches with someone over 18. This DESTROYS their child's credit before they even have a chance.
the labor and delivery nurses would NOT have put up with that dude. I have seen teeny, tiny little nurses MAKE a grown-ass man leave and go back to the waiting room. whatever the mom expresses, that's what they support. and they have neither time nor tolerance for that bs.
For the last story: That man would’ve definitely killed her if she stayed. He wanted to be a single dad and desperately wanted her dead. It was only a matter of time.
Some part of me did actively wander if the dad killed his wife shortly after childbirth based on the way he acted
Last story: Could be that when hubby initially planned the kid with OP he didn't think about death in childbirth. But when OP was pregnant the FIL poisoned hubby with his own memories and worry.
The last story
OP'S ex husband and ex father in law gave me bad vibes because they seemed way to money hungry. I really don't think that OP'S ex husband Mom just died from childbirth, I think OP'S ex father in law did something to kill his wife while making it look like she died from childbirth so he can profit from her death and get tons of praise from being "a wonder single widowed Dad" and he clearly wanted him and his son especially him to profit from OP's death and anything OP wanted to leave her biological family like her parents would suddenly disappear. OP'S ex husband and father in law definitely had a huge secret life insurance policy out on OP. OP I am so glad that you divorced that toxic family but you need to get full custody of your daughter to protect her from their toxic ways and to make sure nothing happens to her so her evil Dad and Grandpa can't profit from her death because sadly they might have a huge secret life insurance policy on her too.
Last story: do NOT let you child have any contact with him or his father, because who’s to say that if their child gets pregnant that he won’t put the kid through what they put open through, no, I’d be filing for sole custody and a restraining order wtf
The will and life insurance for the birthing mother is actually super smart. You could die tomorrow, and what would happen for your family if nothing is set up?
My boyfriends aunt just died one day while at home due to a genetic heart condition she didn't know she had. Her kids were both under 5, and she didn't have a will or life insurnace, and her husband had to struggle with it all alone for years.
You’re missing the point entirely
@xxoxEVAxoxx No, I got the point. I'm just making a different one. Although he was paranoid and such, it's really not a terrible idea. People die every day in surgery, in car crashes, from the flu, or even more bizarre events. So it's really wise for anyone going into a life event that could cause them to die or be incapable of making future medical decisions, a will is wise. Doesn't have to be your spouse who gets control, but it should be done.
@@MsBELLE7 They’re being very pushy and while maybe you should make a will, demanding your partner makes one and assuming they’ll pass away is insane if not malicious and most people picked up on that.
@xxoxEVAxoxx yeah....so did I? I was just pointing out that they are good to have. Even if his reasoning was crazy it's still a good idea.
I'm not sure why you think I missed the point? I'm a healthcare professional. I deal with this shit a lot as I work with hospice and long-term disability clients. Most of whom were perfectly normal one day, then the next they weren't. It happens. That's my point. Even though I got the OPs point in her post also.
@@xxoxEVAxoxxshe didn't miss any point. She just added her own valid point.
For OP in story 1: I’m going to assume you’ll need a security clearance for whatever Gov job in your near feature. I work for the gov in a position where we do need to uphold a security clearance. If you disclose filing for bankruptcy and include the police report against your parents and whatever follows. You should be fine.
In the last story I was kind of thinking the same thing about like why would he plan to have children, but its likely that the fil was not involved in the decision to conceive and husband wasn't worried until daddy dearest got in his ear combined with the reality of the pregnancy. The other thing I didn't understand was if someone I knew was in a situation where I thought they might die (even unwarranted) my top priority would be spending all the positive quality time with them I could. Stressing and getting all worked up about everything will just make it harder on everyone regardless of whether they somehow actually die.
"Delivery nurses havent met my dad" LMAO they have prpbably met much, much worse
Last story: I’m guessing her husband had fully internalised the ‘romantic tragedy’ of his wife dying in childbirth. He genuinely didn’t need therapy because he saw nothing wrong with that outcome and may well have felt every assurance that it wouldn’t happen as a literal threat to his envisioned future.
Story 1: it's crazy to me that it's so easy to open a credid card/bank account in someone else's name the US, it's not impossible to do it were I live, but it's more complicated to do... It's like the US economy is based on people owning banks and credit companies and that's why they make it so easy for people to be in debt, like it doesn't matter if it's legal as long as people are in debt.
Capitalism requires a poor underclass to function.
The "funny" thing about story 1, is that if you pay _any_ amount on a debit, no matter how fraudulent, it becomes legally viable... or something (IANAL). They were basically trying to trick him into giving them money for no reason, as far as I understand it. I don't even know if that keeps them from getting money from whatever system is in place... _do_ the credit cards get paid back when someone is arrested? I guess nobody ever talks about that part.
The last story: if OP did have problems giving birth? Well she’d likely be denied care by her husband and FIL, if she ended up suffering with acute/chronic pain after the birth? They’d see that ad punishment for surviving. Wouldn’t be surprised if they were planning to kill her.
Just absolutely insane, the ex husband and dad are highly enmeshed and incredibly unhealthy, they never once cared how much they damaged OP mentally, they’d never have a healthy home environment for a child. Just hoping OP has supervised visitation with her ex husband, this would prevent the ex FIL being involved.
Sounds like Folie à deux, the FIL and husband have such a close relationship as father-son that they have a shared delusion, Folie à deux meaning “madness for two”, tends to happen to those who are incredibly close nit.
1:27 OP says 'I should have paid more attention to my finances'. Wow! The mom really manipulates OP! Relationship wise , this is financial abuse.
Story 1: happened to me when I was 8. My father wasn't holding down any jobs because of his drug abuse. He had lost the ability to get a phone line working in his house because he wasn't paying his bills so he thought it was a good idea to sign me up for one. Didn't find out about it until I was 25 and had a creditor calling me trying to get a payment... Parents who do this to their kids are trash!
Good lord. Story 2 OP's "friends" are flipping disgusting. I don't think I could ever trust people again, after something like that
Story 3: “You haven’t met this man.”
And OP has clearly never met a labor and delivery nurse… the FATHER gets no say about what happens during delivery. A FATHER-IN-LAW has a snowball’s chance in hell of influencing how things go. If he insists, security will see him out.
I had the same thoughts about that last story. If OP's ex was that worried that his sperm would straight-up murder any potential love interests, why didn't he have a vasectomy? Like, what the fluff?!
I have to admit, I've been ECSTATIC to hear an update for this last story. I've been so worried for OP. The sigh of relief I heard when she referred to her "ex" was cathartic.
That email she sent to Josh was beautiful. I'm glad it worked out well for both of them. I hope they do well in working through the damage that caused through time.
It's like they're mad that she isn't agreeing to die to make them right. Like, they're calling her paranoid... about what? That she's going to live? Bizarre.
to help you understand with the last one, r/, its like a couple of high schoolers. you dont think in the moment but in afew months you can have a surprize
Okay, #3: it's kinda telling that it's specifically childbirth that he's afraid will kill her, when car accidents are vastly more common (I'm assuming this in the US or Canada or such). So to counteract the two guys early on with pressuring them with the same things and treat every time they left their house as though they will never be coming back would have been a good way to show how she felt she was being treated?
“Good will payment” lmao these credit card companies are ruthless. As if they don’t make enough on interest fees from other poor suckers now they’re gently hinting at some type of extortion with the whole “make a good will payment so they can start investigating” sounds to me like they know they’re cooked