r/Topposts My Husband Got Chris Hansen'd
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:11 Terrible father
6:59 Divorce time
9:43 Disowned
15:03 Harsh critic
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Story3: the difference between your family and OP is that his daughters mother totally turned the kid against him. I'm pretty sure ur wife isnt doing that xD
Plus Dabney's kid is still a small child, 3 or 2 I think, man, comparing that to 12 year old is so stupid
No, I don't think that the daughter was turned against OP. If this was the case, the daughter wouldn't have anything to do with her father at all. I think that OP was always problematic and his daughter is just responding to what he did when he shouldn't have reacted that way at all.
@@Yuuteimiya Was she 12? I thought he said she was 16. Either way, she is technically of the age that she can decide who primary custody should be with if the divorce was happening today. He absolutely could and maybe should cut ties with her if she's determined to hate him. Like why prolong the torture of both of them if neither of them want to see each other? It seemed to be he wanted to do the right thing but since he got spit in the face for it, he decided that was enough.
@@Eevie361 Disagree, I think daughter was definitely turned against OP, as a child of divorce parents who both tried that shit with me since I was 10. The blame shifting is the key here, the mother literally said "it's his fault you can't have the iphone" instead of 1) holding her ground against her parents because she *already agreed* to do the safer and healthier parenting method of keeping her off of social media, mom is either a pushover or-- 2) she was complicit in the purchase of the iphone specifically so this outburst would happen. It is as clear as the sun will rise tomorrow morning that a girl is going to be very upset if she was gifted a very expensive phone and then had it taken away from her the same day because 1 or more parent decided against it. AND THEN 3) to literally tell her it's her father's fault for this. If he's the one forced to go to parent-teacher conferences when she's bullying other kids, and NOT mom going at all, it means mom is enabling the behavior at minimum. She very well is responsible for half of this meltdown by her own previous actions that we can hear in the story, but it is exclusively OP who gets the blame. This sounds to be emblematic of most parenting situations as a whole.
Now is this "cut all contact" worthy? It might be, at the very least, a teenage kid has the right in most states during custody conflicts to dictate which parent they want to go to. I do think OP should have answered her phone since it seems through his wife is the only way to reach his daughter, and maybe re-evaluate in a year, but other than that, he would be the asshole at a certain point to force himself into her life if she genuinely despises and doesn't want him there. You know? Where IS the line?
@@Eevie361 It doesn't matter what you think when you're wrong.
Story 3: i'm a daughter of divorced parents. When i was around ten i had a couple of sessions with a therapist that basically had to figure out what i wanted and what was best for me. After that the agreement on which parent had to have me was changed. 12 is old enough to have an opinion worth listening to.
OP is still gonna do his duty and pay child support, then if the daughter changes her mind and actually wants her father back she can call him with her brand new iphone.
OP is ruining his relationship with his daughter because of his pride. This doesn't have anything to do with the girl but with his overreaction to something that he shouldn't have gotten so angry about. Also, most courts say that thirteen is the age where children's thoughts are taken into consideration, not twelve. The twelve year old had a normal emotional response for having to watch her father yell and having a temper tantrum about a phone that was given to her as a gift.
If OP walks away from his daughter, I hope she makes the decision to never have anything to do with him in future. He had his chance to be a dad. Just seems to me that he always hated his daughter because she was the last connection he had with his ex wife and her family.
@@Eevie361I know I’m never having kids because I’m not emotionally mature enough cause I’d be like op 🤣🤣
I think everyone is forgetting something, this isn't just a one off incident. It's just the incident that broke the camels back. OP has been dealing with this kind of shit for more than 6 years. It's the reason he divorced his wife. Now he's just had enough. It's abuse mostly from his ex and ex inlaws, but now his daughter is joining in because they have conditioned her to see him as the bad guy. My bet is that she will not get adopted until he doesn't have to pay child support though.
@@Eevie361 Man I love how you are excluding major parts of the story and making up your own to get to your opinion here. OP had been dealing with that toxic family for 6 years (technically longer with his ex-wife and in-laws) and dealing with their constant undermining of his parenting. He went to all her events, and he tried guiding her away from being a bully with punishments that the ex and stepdad allowed her to escape her consequences of. THE EX AND OP AGREED TO GET HER A MORE KID FRIENDLY PHONE BUT THE EX GOT HER AN IPHONE TO 1UP OP. Then when OP got understandably upset by this he tried to take away the phone it caused the spoiled brat to choose the highest bidder and in this case it's the ex and stepdad.
@@Eevie361 A point you ignore is that the battle wasnt with his daughter at all. As OP stated the issue of the phone wasnt the first time there had been an agreement with the ex wife over something regarding the daughter that was undermined by the ex in laws and the wife caved to her parents. What he said to the daughter was in response to a combination of her words to him but the lack of support from his wife and her parents. Her words were only the catalyst causing him to end a longer struggle with the ex wife and her parents.
"He had his chance to be a dad" Yes and his efforts to be the responsible parent teaching his daughter by setting boundaries was short circuited by the ex and her parents.
Story 3: I’m…honestly a little stunned at how absolutely _asinine_ your comparison between your daughter and OP’s was.
One is a toddler who wants her mommy, the other is a tween being deliberately malicious.
Like…wow.
Yeah and a 12-year-old is a literal child. Tween is a made-up word. It's not scientific. As far as development goes. As far as science is concerned, that is a child. The fact that you're perfectly okay with a grown ass human being having an adult size temper tantrum giving into frustration, anger and behaving the way he's choosing to behave, but a child behaving that way. That's a crime against humanity and she deserves to be punished for all eternity. That's what you're saying.
And the other also divorced (with manipulative ex and ex families) while he's not. The only similarity is they're both Dad and have a daughter. Nothing else.
He does this a lot, because he's got a daughter he treats it like it's pretty much the exact same scenario. Which gets pretty ridiculous when an OP is talking about like a 23 year old, and R/Slash like... infantilizes the daughter because his own daughter is still so young.
It’s not like OP wouldn’t still let her apologize if she reached out to as well. She’s 12 she’s old enough to realize she was in the wrong at some point in the future. He can actually focus on his career and they will have less visits in the future but he didn’t do anything that can’t be undone by an apology.
His views have always been greatly skewed in ignorance. I stopped watching his videos for like 2 years because of it then one popped up on my feed so I was like well maybe he's changed now his kid is growing up. Then I hear stuff like this and I just feel bad for his daughter when she grows up.
I like how in story 1 he calls his daughter's fiancee a boy but gets upset when others are dismissive of his wife's age.
Kay??
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 It's hypocritical.
@@eighthdoctor how?
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072
He infantalized the daughter's fiance but gets defensive when people infantilize his wife.
@@ReptillianStrike he…he didn’t though
Um rSlash - Story 3. The phone wasn't the reason, it was just the last straw. Everything OP described was just piling and piling and piling. I am 100% on his side. He is going to do what he needs to do and pay his child support, but sounds like she is taking her mean girl attitude out on OP as well and now she is getting her wish.
yea rSlash should be bless cause not man it on good tern with the ex family and OP got bully for years after year and he finally snap and gave what ex family and the daughter what and now they going have to raise the daughter all by themselves cause they kept bully OP for years and maybe down the line daughter may regret it cause she the reason why her father no in her life
Story 3 the dad needs to hold his ground. Sadly rslash has no clue because he has not had to deal with this.
It rlly sounds to me like op is having a mental break and this post is more to vent than fully enforce this
He's probably going to leave the door open for his daughter in the future (probably with a big, mediated convo) while cutting off the ex completely
He's choosing this over a lifetime of a manipulative ex-wife making his daughter hate him... and I don't blame him.
I don't get it. RSlash tells Story 3 from TopPosts and the whole comments section is defending OP. OzMedia tells the same story from AmITheDevil and the whole comments section is tearing OP a new one. What's the difference?! It's the same story! What am I missing???
"You seem unhinged. So I won't date you"
"What do you mean?" *throws plate to the floor* "I'm completely normal" *starts yeeting the china set*
Anyone hoping to hear from the guy in a best of updates which he files for a RO?
@@lorilancaster5917I’d love if that’s the case, not for him must be terrifying but karma coming back on op
Seriously and it seems like she was pushing him to ask her out so it isn’t like he just randomly sent that to her.
Lol
What a normal and well adjusted thing to do!
Story 3: We have so many stories before this where the family consistently disrespects the OPs parenting, spoiled the kid without permission, buys them things the parent said “no” to, weaponizes the kid against him, and disregards him as a parental figure. It always ends up making the child resent the OP parent. They leave and they are justified to do so. Why is this story any different?
Because it's happening to the dad. If it were the mom like all of the other stories, rslash would be on her side
"i met her when she was 18 and we dated for 8 months before getting married, when she was still 18, if i had met her when she was a minor i would have seen her COMPLETELY differently EW you guys" - ok so she was, AT MAXIMUM, 3 months past her 18th birthday when they met. when he was 40. and op assures us that if she was 3 months younger he would have NEVER seen her as wife material. sure. 3 months makes SUCH a difference
18-21 is such a weird age in the US, because you’re effectively seen as old enough to be an adult and make your own decisions, but not old enough to make your own decisions regarding things like alcohol and tobacco.
It’s like you’re half an adult
It's a weird situation. A young person can be old enough to go to war and die, but can't be allowed to drink or smoke. Our society is broken.
@@lancerevell5979where I’m from at 16 you can own a house, go to jury duty if your out of education but if you stay on in school then it’s 18, can start a family, join armed forces, buy a lottery ticket but at 18 you can goto a strip club, go to a casino or bookies, smoke (it’s now illegals for anyone born after a certain year and buy alcohol
It's like being time gated to things for teenagers when you're 10-12 but with laws attached to the reasoning.
To expand on this. 21-25ish is also a strange time. Most people get saddled with adult responsibility like rent, insurance, payments, and education. But many are not established enough in their careers, or make enough income, to prosper and thrive. So they go from 'I am 18, I am an adult' to 'I am 25, have no idea what I am doing and am broke as a joke'. Life gets real, quick!
@@spriest there are no explanations or guard rails for getting a credit either. The amount people accumilating debt is outrageous. Even with the tools out there to prevent them from doing so.
Story 3: the difference, rSlash, is that you and your wife aren't divorced, she and her parents aren't constantly trying to undermine you and no one spoiled and alienated your daughter to the point that she says she hates you and wishes that you didn't exist in her life.
And no, being 12 doesn't excuse that behavior. I'm totally on OP's side in this one.
Exactly. Once again rslash gets it so completely wrong.
Thank you, I was originally listening on Spotify. And had to come here to the CZcams comments to see if someone agreed. By the way, this story played out. It seems like this isn't the first time his daughter lashed out at him. She's going to regret that and what she said
“Alienated your daughter” That’s not a thing. Kids aren’t stupid. If a kid hates you after 12 years, there’s a good reason. 100% OP is leaving out some very pertinent details.
@@Tustin2121 that is 100% a thing i have seen shit like this happen, spoil the kid and blame the other parent for everything wrong
kids arent stupid but a 12 years old never had to deal with manipulative behavior to see the red flags and dont have reasons to suspect parents of doing things like that
What gets me about the story is she didn't even just say "I hate you dad" she ranted about how much she hated him and how she hated spending time with him and wished she wasn't his dad. And when asked if that's how she truly felt, she doubled down. I get that she's 12, but when I was 12 I would have NEVER spoken to my mother like that over a phone.
The story with the girl in the iPhone.
There is a legal concept which I cannot remember the name of it's called like contaminating the well or something like that. It's the legal concept of one parent turning the child against the other parent maliciously. Depending on your location it can actually be something that can be actioned in court.
Alienation
It's called parental alienation. It's caught up in an ethical debate on if it should be considered at all in law because of how often It's abused.
One specific example has a dad accused of abuse who's children have been ordered by the court to live with the dad part-time still, despite his abuse allegations _still being investigated._ The teenage children (who are clearly capable of making their own choices) in question decided to _literally barricade themselves in their room_ in their mom's house.
"Poisoning the well" is the term you're looking for
Story 3: see the thing is, you know the daughter is CONSTANTLY being poisoned by the ex-wife by her saying "YOUR FATHER DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HAVE THAT PHONE", instead of "your dad and I agreed that we are going with another phone". So she's already done the damage and this is just the last straw. Honestly good for you OP, save some efforts in fighting a losing battle and let the mean girl have her wish.
As soon as you tell a child "I wish you were never born", you've essentially broken whatever relationship you had with them. And OP said to his daughter because she objected to him marrying someone who can't even buy her own alcohol?
Guy shouldn't be so indignant about the NC. After all, his daughter is basically giving him what he asked for: a life without her in it!
It feels so good to have so many people have this take, my dad said that all the time, disowned me dozens, if not hundreds of times, and still expects us to have a relationship. Well, whenever _he_ wants it, I'm like not supposed to exist or something, until he needs to be a good dad for some reason and then I'm supposed to show up and say "This man never beat me, or traumatized me" or some other lie like that, or something. I guess he's not really all that straightforward with what he wants outta our relationship.
Yea that's just weird. Like, why does OP wanna talk to his daughter if he hates her so much
@@bigjalapeno7061he’s crazy, delusional and a cradle robber.
Story 3: You're way off on this, Rslash. Your 3 year old isnt the equivalent of an abusive pre-teen. OP is the victim of four grown ass adults on top of a kid that throws a tantrum over a phone. He's not going dead beat on the kid, hes refusing to be abused.
Yeah, it sounds like this one story that we are hearing is just the straw that finally broke the camels back. If both the ex and ex in-laws are constantly undermining and blaming OP... it's going to get worse and that teen is going to grow up a monster.
All true but he's also handling it in a terrible way. I say this all the time, just because your actions are perfectly justified, doesn't make them the right action.
i agree, imagine years of your daughter telling you she hates you because your the strict parent, how she wishes she could just live with her mother, and how long must that have been going, kids so stupid things and maybe shes too young to understand what happens when you loose a parent. but its not like he's abandoning her he's just letting her stay with her mum 100% of the time as she wishes
@CanyonALynn this take. I think op is being a bit rash, but im just happy for him that he got the go ahead to get a better job for himself. He likely declined it to sacrifice for his daughter and when he saw that he was never gonna be give a fair trial in his daughters eyes until she got older, then yeah.
He sound like a b**** instead of discipline his daughter he let her hurt his little feelings
Divorce dad's story
I'm just gonna point out that at 12, The court would consider her opinion when deciding custody arrangement. if she already says she doesn't want him as her dad and doesn't want to live with him at all.Then the court would take her opinion at face value and would withdraw op's custody.What's The point in wasting all that Money on lawyers and in all honesty waste in the time of the court?
I am still on the dad's side at the end. I have to disagree with you, rSlash. I've had super-meddling inlaws, and even to my husband's death due to cancer, they blamed me for all of his decisions, when I made no effort to intervene as they were HIS decisions. After they attempted to take me to court over his estate (because in their mind we were "going to get divorced anyway" wtf) I destroyed my husband's frozen sperm. I wanted no connection to those people, regardless of how much I wanted that man's kids. How was I going to explain to my husband's child that I wanted no part of his family and I refuse to allow them to meet, or even tell them they had a grand child?
The demonizing of that father for calling it quits is kind of wrong- there was no win for the man when there is a 3v1 battle over parenting. That kid is just a kid, and if they get their way, then who cares if she grows up well-rounded? Certainly not the paper-thin momma. There have been stories before where the kid finally sees the wrongness of the bad parent/bad parent's family, but that's a one in a million shot of being *just a kid*. No one is in the right here, but no one can really be wrong, either.
It's based on morals as you and your wife have a strong enough bond where you will tell your inlaws to take a hike if they pulled this on you both. When the grand parents are spoiling and doing the parenting, and doing it *wrong*, the best choice would be to get the child away from the inlaws so they no longer influence the kid's life. Since that can't happen, what other choice is there? Another 8 years of asshattery and trying to undo what the inlaws are doing? That's a high price to pay just to have a family.
Likewise, all the naysyers can eff if they wanna support the Veruca Salt wannabe so badly.
Damn.
Rslash, the problem is you only empathize with people who have healthy loving relationships with their kids. Op is not wrong to feel like throwing in the towel because his ex's family has constantly undermined him and poisoned his daughter for 6 years. He's totally justified in giving his child what she really wants.
The child is fucking 12, she’s just saying it out of anger not because she actually feels that. God you people are so dumb.
agreed he lucky that he probably good tern with his wife family now if they divorce and her family switch up on him and do what the ex MIL do him years after years any man would snap and that what OP did he snap after years get bully by the ex wife and her family and he gave them what they want and now the ex wife and the MIL got raise the daughter all by themselves without OP help cause they kept bully OP and he done
I'm just gonna point out that at 12, The court would consider her opinion when deciding custody arrangement. if she already says she doesn't want him as her dad and doesn't want to live with him at all.Then the court would take her opinion at face value and would withdraw op's custody.What's The point in wasting all that Money on lawyers and in all honesty waste in the time of the court?
@@kp2223 A judge isnt going to make custody decisions solely on the input of the child. And in many cases, the input of the child is completely disregarded as irrelevant. I know because im one of those. I wasnt allowed to even attend my adoption hearing or whatever its called. They said its better the adults talk while i stay in school. (I was the same age as her).
Nevermind the fact that the whole reason this was happening was because my "mom" was trying avoid being investigated for kidnapping me. (I wasnt allowed to live outside the state i was born in since both my legal parents lived there, and my "mom" moved me anyway and the local school started having issues with enrolling me.) Basically, the whole adoption situation in the first place was just to avoid legal trouble already brewing, and the judge STILL thinks a childs input is irrelevant. There's nothing abnormal about how this judge thinks compared to the average judge. Therefore, considering a teen is moreso a new thing, a good thing, and a less common thing at present.
Kid, you are weak. OP is weak. Kids say stupid stuff like this all the time and parents have to maneuver this. You don't just give up. The guy is ridiculous. And you sound like you shouldn't have children until you get therapy and parenting classes.
Story 1: Just a rule of thumb: if ever you need to clarify that you and your partner “met when they were legal” they are DEFINITELY too young and you’re a creep.
Only person i feel sorry for is Op’s daughter, Op is such a pathetic waste of space.
this! and op saying she was 18 when hey met doesnt help his case. he got with someone barely legal, presumably his daughters age.
I feel bad for the new wife too. She is barely more than a child who was absolutely taken advantage of.
Hey guys. Just so you know, my wife totally agreed to marry me, and it for sure wasn't at gunpoint.
Oh shut up and op isn’t wrong
@@niyakii6205 I wonder how many years he was leering at his daughter's friend before that.
Hire the immigration attorney FIRST. Investigate options BEFORE you out yourself at the mercy of American law, because it does not know the meaning of the word and neither do immigration judges.
And maybe she can get someone else to sponsor her so she can keep her Green Card? She has options but none of them should be to stayed married to her slime ball husband
find it kinda funny that Rslash opened the last story commentary with “it’s ok to get emotional over this” but i guess didn’t feel the same when it’s OPs child blatantly saying TWICE that she hates him and wants him gone lmao
Rslash struggles with being consistent on his takes
Story 1: "Its been 3 years, cant see why she cant just come around"
That right there tells me all i need to know about OP. What a absoulte grabage human being.
After the update.
What a piece of crap.
And it seems that he didn't even appologize for it. Just expect his daughter to forgive him without acknowledging his behaviour as wrong.
@@dominiklis6261yep.
same when OP said that I immediately knew OP was asswhole that he left his only daughter alone for 3 years and expect her to be fine with it after 3 years, I hope his daughter go no contract with him
@@SoldierSpiderx I think she already did.
Story 3: I strongly disagree, OP is not the bad guy at all. His ex wife and her family set him up, and 12 years old is old enough to understand words have meanings.
12 years old so she’s in middle school, that’s old enough to know that words/actions have consequences.
Welcome to shared custody in divorce. If the ex can turn the kid against you, it’s over.
Yeah, rslash is WAY off with his take.
I think it’s parental alienation. The way the mother said “oh your dad said no” clearly made him out to be the bad guy and set up the step dad as the doting Disney dad. The mothers family spoils the child and it’s their mess to clean up
It's a tantrum. 12 year olds are still allowed to have tantrums. I agree that the ex sucks and the kid probably shouldn't have said what she said. But she's 12. And asking her again if she hates him while still mid-tantrum, of course she'll say the same thing again. She threw a tantrum and her father's response was to abandon her. Please don't have kids if you think that's okay
You and all the people that are responding to you are psychopaths for agreeing. If a 12-year-old isn't old enough to sign a contract, why is their word now binding enough to change their living situation out of one outburst??
imagine having your kid being manipulated for most of their life into hating you and made to belive everything you do is to punish them
that hurts i dont blame the guy for calling it quits
Yeah seems like it’s time to cut his losses at this point. Let her grow up spoiled and maybe one day she’ll realize she was wrong 12 yo is definitely old enough to not be spoiled any longer.
He's abandoning the ex and her family, really. And good riddance. They're not going to be leaving the kid's life, so he's always going to be used as the bad guy. There's no winning, so he's cutting his losses.
So let me get this straight, About story 1. So his daughter's friend starts coming around.That happens to be eighteen, He starts seeing this girl when she's 18 and a daughter's friend. When the daughter comes to him and explains how gross this is and doesn't like it. He proceeds to explain how he regrets her and wishes. She wasn't around or born. Then is shocked when she cuts him off, Then it's hopeful when she reaches out eventually over time. Only because of her grandparents, Then he's 30 minutes late. And then is shocked when she leaves and doesn't want him at her wedding or in her life. What a disgusting man, And just because she's 18 doesn't mean that he wasn't being gross when being with her. The fact that he tries to excuse that she's 18 and legal is disgusting.
I met Chris Hansen when he was filming some show in 2015. He's a cool dude. Oh to clarify, he was getting chips and soda because it was lunch, I did not get Hansened.
Story 3 pisses me off so much. This poor girl is being raised by petty morons.
Is… Is that a good thing?
I love the idea that you did get Hansened and still came away thinking "you know what? he's such a nice guy!"
nah, daughter just learned consequences of your actions.
@@GiordanDiodatoare u serious since when are 12 year olds supposed to be the mature ones out of a parent dynamic
@@AnonJake because it's obvious that his ex and her parents keep undermining his parenting? everyone has their limit.
I feel like in the story with the dad, there is probably more than the phone issue. It comes across like the way that the ex's parents undermine him would create resentment in the daughter when he puts his foot down. He still sucks but I am definitely curious how much the ex's parents are doing things to mess with their relationship.
Why does it feel to me, that the ex and the ex in-laws, have been undermining and disrespecting him on purpose to get this EXACT outcome, having the step-father adopt the daughter so they can be one big 'happy' family. That would not surprise me at all.
factI totally believe the ex wife and MIL let the daughter do whatever she wanted and OP give her rule and other and time after time whatever OP do something for his daughter to learn a lesson that the ex wife and MIL go behind his back and change it like the phone was the finally straw and when the daughter said I hate you and wish her stepdad be her real dad, after heard that something inside of OP finally snap and said fuck it you want it here you go and now OP ex wife and MIL got raise the daughter by themselves without OP help cause they kept push his button so yea I on OP side
Considering the wife remarried 6 years ago, they have been divorced for some time, and OP stated that behavior like that from the ex and in-laws is one of the major reasons leading to divorce, this has been going on for a very, very long time. It's not a one time thing.
That’s was my first thought..
@@coppercornstory said they had been divorced for six years but she remarried shortly after that seems a bit sus
Hard Disagree on Story 3, RSLASH. This is a somewhat modified comment I used to respond to someone else about Parental Alienation.
My dad shit talked my mom to me for years to the point I believed she was a terrible person.
I thought she was the worst and wanted to live with my Dad when their divorce went through. It was only when I was about 15 and my dad did something to me that showed his true colors and I realized every single thing he told me about my mom was a lie.
I'm 25 now, and still feel guilty about how I treated my mom. I've apologized to her countless times. Parent Alienation is 1000% a thing and these types of stories are always rough to listen too.
Cause yeah, I know I was a kid and I was just believing my Dad. But at the same time I'm so angry about how stupid I was and took for granted all the stuff my mom did for me. I don't blame the dad for being done. I'm thankful my mom fought tooth and nail for me. But I understand his hurt. I feel terrible for the daughter.
What her Mom is doing is Parental Alienation. She is undermining OP and constantly making him look like the bad guy. I hate how you gave his ex the soft voice. When she said "your dad is making you give the phone back." How you gave OP the entitled voice when he got reasonably mad and pointed out that this is not what they agreed to do as parents. As he said, it's not the first time. And OP is looking at this losing battle and decided enough. When he his daughter called her a Mean Girl, it especially struck a cord with me.
Memories of my own mother calling me mean. Hopefully, a few years from now, the daughter will see that her dad wasn't as terrible as she thought and apologize. But today is unfortunately not today.
Hey Dabney, I know that you have strong feeling about people “abandoning” their kids because you have a kid- but the daughter is 12. Yes, a child still, but definitely old enough to have some grasp on her emotions.
OP has been constantly undermined and abused by his ex in-laws. He struggled and fought for custody and suffered through that emotional turmoil for so long, only to have his daughter say that she hates him and wishes someone else was her dad.
He gave her what she wanted because he just couldn’t take it anymore. It sounds like he’s heartbroken about it, so he’s doing what he can to keep his mind off it by accepting the new position.
Hopefully he can reconnect with his daughter when she grows up and realizes how she treated him was wrong, but OP shouldn’t have to deal with emotional abuse until then.
Let's also discuss the fact that the daughter in the story is 12, that means she does have some grasp on processing emotions. Let's not jump to defend her just because she's young.
12 is literally the start of puberty, when all of that flies out the window, though.
@@Tustin2121But this was a repeated pattern of behaviour. She was already a bully in school and likely an emotional bully to her dad.
He needed to get out before her constant emotional abused caused him to "end himself" (one of the most common causes for male "self-ending" is 'relationship problems', and kids are a part of that.
Good the OP in story 3 finally broke away from that toxic environment.
Idk what one expects the dad in story 3 to do. He cant force his ex and family to play ball, not make him the bad guy, and not spoil the brat. He can't force the child to want to soend time with him. It's a losing battle how it is played.
I'd take that job too. If the brat decides to change her mind, she can take steps to include OP in her life. 12 or not.
IMO he’s not TAH for taking the job, that was fantastic for him, he’s TAH for basically taking his frustration with his ex out on a 12 year old. He should have not said anything and just left when she said that. He was hurt (rightly so) but he let that hurt and anger dictate the situation. I would have gone back the next day and let my daughter know that I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Every time she throws a tantrum like that step away because you shouldn’t have to be treated like that. But to imply that your parental love is dependent on her never showing negative emotions is not right. Punish her and step away. But to say “fine I won’t be your dad” is just cruel and not a good punishment. I hope he loves his job, I personally don’t think he should have said no in the first place because that might have been brewing resentment and just feeding the bad situation. I want OP to be happy but not at the expense of his child.
@@rebeccajesse4604 sounds like the child is happy with the outcome too. Stepdad gives her what she wants and she can be spoiled rotten and probably fail in life without him.
@@ChristopherBurtraw can’t tell from the story. I know my biodad spoiled me for the time I was with him but it always made me feel empty and eventually I was physically ill whenever I spent more than a week with him due to the extreme spoiling. Spoiling isn’t love, and most 12 year olds don’t realize that without a good presence in their life (like her dad). I also think taking her tantrum as her truth is not smart. If she says the same thing when she’s calmed down then maybe. 🤷♀️ just my opinion, an adult throwing a tantrum like he did isn’t a good response to a child’s tantrum. I hope it works out for them all and that the grandparents and mother get their shit together.
@@rebeccajesse4604 it's possible that simply stepping away will be enough for her to come to that realization. I'm sure the OP would open back up if the child is motivated to do so, but it's really not worth fighting for as it's counterproductive. If she realizes her mother's family is causing issues, she can turn on them instead.
NTA in story 3. People that haven't had to deal with dysfunctional family members don't understand just how toxic they can be. You can love someone and still need to cut them off to protect yourself from their toxic behavior.
You are toxic. You have terrible advice. He already cut off the inlaws. This is about properly coparenting and helping the 12 year old. She needs therapy, not adding abandonment to it.
Rslash with story 3 you have to realise that this has been going on over years , the mother and ex-in-laws have been beating down OP, like this wouldn’t have been an isolated incident
The mother blaming the father when she went back on an agreement feels like trying to put the daughter against her father. But how is she acting up so much in school and neither parent is asking why? Kids tend to act out for a reason. Instead of trying to get her help to get to the reason, the father is just calling her a mean girl
Bad take on the disowned story.
THIS IS NOT JUST A DADDY DAUGHTER DATE. This wasn't a little kid anymore. This is her regular schedule where he's being undermined at every step. I'm on his side.
Yeah, he's abandoning the ex and her family more than the girl, honestly
Story 3: He is justified. He is allowed to have his own thoughts on the relationship. Why does he have to blame beating to death just to make his daughter happy?
Only thing he’s doing by staying in the relationship as it is, he’s showing that how his ex and her parents treat him is how all men in her life should be treated.
He's 100% justified, parents at the end of the day are people. He felt unwanted by everyone, from every side, so he did the rational thing and moved on to a life that might be worth living. That and the mother has been undermining him at every step, moulding the kid into hating him. This will be good for the kid in the long run, or not, either way at least one person will be happy in the end. Hell she might realize how badly her mother turned her against him, later, and reconnect.
You can't teach a kid by yourself when everyone else around you is trying to undermine you to that kid. He's got no power here and he knows it. He made the right call. It's a terrible thing, but hopefully the kid learns that when anyone treats people this badly, they won't stick around and tolerate it. That's the only lesson he has the power to teach her.
Exactly.. plus a teenager is NOT the same as a two-y.o. I think rslash is projecting his personal fears and insecurities.
Dude she’s a 12 year old. If you feel this way, please PLEASE just don’t have kids. You clearly are incapable of being patient. They say dumb shit. Literally all an adult had to do in this situation was sit down and calmly explain to her the safety reasons she couldn’t have the iPhone.
Kids are emotional. She’s a preteen. She LITERALLY chemically does not understand the long term emotions and affect of what she is saying. Holy shit. These comments are actually terrifying to read. She’s just a kid.
For the third story, I'm totally on the dad's side. It seems like it's been years and his daughter is twelve not three, so she's old enough to understand what her words mean. Awesome. He is divorced, so he's not happily married. In dealing with this, but divorce and dealing with one side of the family constantly undermining him and unparenting the child, the way the father and the mother originally agree on.
Rslash, if I may be honest with you in regarding the 3rd story, you HAVE to stop comparing the CURRENT relationship you have with your 3-year-old daughter and stay-at-home wife to that of a DIVORCED man that had been undermined numerous times and this incident with the phone made him snap.
It truly is a loving and great thing that you adore your family and would go to the ends of the earth for your daughter, BUT you can’t compare EVERY SINGLE DAD AND DAUGHTER TO YOU AND YOUR OWN, which you have been doing for the past 3 years, and it’s only going to get worse with time. I would highly recommend either stepping back from these kinds of stories unless it’s something you can actually relate to, or have to understand that not every father on Reddit is gonna be black and white like how you’ve been painting them out to be.
thank you for this! 😭
Yeah he really needs to understand no parent is ever going to be perfect. The world just isn’t that black and white.
Story 1: OP to his new young wife: where have you been all my life? His wife: Well, I haven't been born the first 22 years...
Took the words out of my mouth!!
Yup. Add to it 'and I wasn't "legal" for the next 18...'
As a father of a little girl myself I understand the sentiment but it sounds like practically everything OP did in story 3 meant obviously nothing to her. Then to top it off was his ex. It sounds like she instigated every issue and with her acting like she isn’t the bad guy when in reality she’s super flaky. She wants her daughter for herself and it’s stupidly obvious. I hope he keeps in contact with her but until she’s able to talk it out with him then there isn’t going to be any growth in their relationship. She doesn’t even see him as a father, and just writing that hurts my soul a little. Yes discipline is needed but if the message and reason isn’t being understood than it’s like talking to a brick wall.
Story 3: rSlash got the whole take wrong. OP isn't wrong from disowning his daughter. She's not a "little kid" anymore, she's 12, old enough to know what she's doing and what she means with her words. OP literally tried to raise his daughter to be a good person, but he kept being undermined by his ex and his ex-in laws, who are the textbook definition of disgusting people who weaponize the kids after a divorce, acting like "the cool parent" while painting the other as "the bad person who don't allow any fun";
The phone was the last straw: OP and his ex agreed to get her a Gabb phone, only for his ex and her parents to around and get her an Iphone, and act like OP is the one in the wrong for not letting her have something she's too young to have anyway. And for what OP said he's the one actually parenting her all this time, while his ex and in-laws kept undermining him;
No wonder she kept trying to call him: she turned her daughter into a spoiled brat, all to spite OP, and now he got enough of it and she'll have to lay on the bed of nails and broken glass she made.
For the last story. There is a saying I once heard that I still apply to myself to this day. "If it smells like sh!# everywhere you go, then its time to look under your shoe"
I'm going to be in the minority here for Disowned. The daughter may be 12, but she is already being raised as a mean girl.
Being negative towards the OP father already shows your bias. The man did his best, and in his eyes, he didn't get respect from anyone.
It's better for him to go on a different path that doesnt include his ex family.
In the future, when the daughter is older, she may understand the consequences of her action. But until then , the OP dad has every right to perserve himself and do whats best for him.
I fully agree TBH
That was my take. My feeling was that this man is just broken.
I agree, and I think it's not all about "respect". RSLASH doesn't seem to understand how divorced parents can poison and weaponise the children against another parent. There is no co-parenting a child when at least one parent is activity working against the other.
I agree with you. The kid is old enough to express their wants and needs.
A decade plus of emotional abuse. I posted on it too, he cracked, he was done... and you either check out, or punch out...he chose to check out.
The mom in the 3rd story was very wrong for saying the father said she couldnt have it. Like no, you guys agreed and your parents overstepped the parents
I'm on the dad's side on story 3 honestly, people are saying that its unjust because the kids 12 but even most people who should have a strained relationship with their parent don't usually have one at 12, the fact that its happening so early and she's had these thoughts for it seems a while and is even acting terribly to others in school is a clear sign that this kid isn't going to get better in the future. Especially since she obviously favors the ex's side. If this is how she's behaving know, imagine how she's going to act while she's a teenager or adult. Having a talk isn't going to make the years of bad parenting go away. She will continue to be raised by the ex's side and will continue to look up to them and how they act. Saying the daughters fine but the ex isn't is ridiculous, who's raising her?
This isn't just a tantrum, its a look into the future.
I really think that the guy with the spoiled daughter did not leave her based on the single incident. Based on what he said, she is being raised to be completely entitled (and a bully) and he's being undermined every time he tries to intervene. After enough years of this, I can understand his getting fed up and frustrated that he CAN'T punish her or try to correct her without being turned into the bad guy by the ex, the ex in laws, and the daughter. He doesn't see the situation changing, so he's getting out.
The guy is abused for years, constantly undermined, and gets zero support but rslash treats him like a POS when he understandably snaps under all the pressure? Just hearing the voice used when the man had a mental break after being abused for years, having his daughter say she hates him and wishes the stepdad were her dad, and the rest of the constant mean girl behavior that the mother and her side encourages. Rslash may need another vacation because the lack of empathy is unreal! No wonder men are scared to seek help for their mental health...
Not true
@@KadeStringer2.0very true
@@KadeStringer2.0 ok
But look at all the comments on it!!! Everyone is calling Rslash out because we can see OP is not the bad guy, even when Rslash uses the "Karen" voice. I'm glad we're not alone in knowing the dad is justified, hope eventually the daughter could grow up and realize she has no friends because the people around her spoiled her into a rotten brat.
yea rSlash should be bless cause not man it on good tern with the ex family and OP got bully for years after year and he finally snap and gave what ex family and the daughter what and now they going have to raise the daughter all by themselves cause they kept bully OP for years and maybe down the line daughter may regret it cause she the reason why her father no in her life
You told your daughter that you wished she was never born?
What are you, eleven?
Is the person you're talking to in the room with you right now?
@@InteriorDesignStudent The person you are responding to isn't in the room right now either
@@InteriorDesignStudent What even is your comment? This is literally what the dad said in the first story.
Good lord.. Heaven knows one of my cousins said that to my face for preventing her from stabbing herself with pin needles.
While she did apologize afterwards, most likely only because my dad and her mom tore into her for saying that, it still stung.
@@xxnaomi94xx It's a joke. The 'you' in this case is someone who wrote his story on a Reddit forum. He's not reading these comments.
Story 1: We don’t know the age the daughter’s fiancé, but gotta love how OP referred to him as ‘boy’ when he’s probably around the same age as his ‘mature adult’ wife.
Relevance?
6:58 if I remember this story correctly, OP’s wife is actually his daughter’s ex girlfriend. Of course his daughter hates him!
OPs husband is Dr. Disrespect
OH NAHHHH
lol damn it I was gonna say that
😂😂😂😂
💀
@@elgronk.The timing was perfect
Story 1: recently had 20 year reunion, a guy I knew showed up showing off his 18 year old girlfriend. Everyone made a point to tell him that it’s not the flex he thought it was. When he complained to me I told him that the only thing that made him any different from (other person we graduated with and is on a registry) is that he waits for them to be 18.
It’s hilarious to show off your 18 yo wife to your high school classes 20th year reunion.
Yeah remember when we were all in school together well her parents were just about to conceive her around that time. 😅😅😅
Story 3: I love how just because RSlash is a father to a 3 year old daughter, he thinks that a 12 year old telling her father she hates him is so far outside the realm of possibility that he's like "that can't happen. A child that age doesn't know what they're saying, what they're talking about." I was a 12 year old from divorced parents. I hated my father. It was both of my parents telling the same thing RSlash is saying here, "you don't know what you're saying, hate is a strong word, blah, blah, blah." I never said I hate anyone else because I don't feel that for anyone else but I will shout it to the roof tops. I. Hate. My. Father. And I truely wish that when I said those words to him he would've left me the fuck alone but no, because I was a child, the adults thought they knew better than me, the person experiencing the abuse, the neglect and the pure hatred of just being alive. You seriously need to take yourself out of the stories you read man, because we never know the full story to these posts.
Story 3: RSlash, maybe it's time for you to actually take a break from these type of stories. Every single time a story is about parenthood your bias is so strong that your takes become completely backwards, to such a degree that you get flamed in the comments. Seriously man, try to actually see these stories from a neutral perspective like you should've from the beginning.
I don't know. The cynical part of me thinks it's to his benefit for people to make all of these 'you're wrong comments'. The algorithm cares that comments are being made; it doesn't care what the comments say...
I agree!
The OP of the first story gives off some serious creep vibes, but even ignoring that, OP needs to learn he's not owed a place in his daugher's life. He said something reprehensible to her, and she is under no obligation to ever take him back into her life. He only cemented how right his daughter was to leave him out of her life by being late to their meet.
I hope her wedding goes (or went, depending on how old the story is) amazingly, and I'm glad the paternal uncle got the honor of walking down the aisle with her instead of that deadbeat of a father.
fact I bet money OP and the friend was flirt with each other way before she 18 probably like 17 and kept it private and when she turn 18 that when they made it public that OP it a damn creepy and at the end he don't care about his own daughter, well he better keep that same energy when he on his death bead and his wife there who I bet she only with him cause he got money
Oh hey Just, it's Snivy, fancy meeting you here lmao
@partypantz7546 Hey! Yeah, I watch every Rslash video, but only comment sometimes. Hope you're doing well!
@@Just_a_commenter That I am, and that's fair, I'm the same way, barely comment always watching kek, just happened to scroll down and see you
It was her maternal uncle who walked her down the isle, not her paternal uncle.
you know rslash, it's kind of funny that you were on op 3s side at the start but began going against him as the story went on because i felt the opposite considering i was against him and thought he was being overdramatic at the start but began sympathizing with him as the story went on.
Story 3: Dabney you’re looking at this through the lense of a happy family and a 3 year old.
That kid in story 3 is TWELVE? She's not four: she's old enough not to pull that "I HATE YOU!!!" crap. And it's not like the OP is her one piece of support and he's dumping her in the middle of Death Valley! Regina Georgelet has her mom and her stepdad and at least one set of grandfolks in whose eyes she can do no wrong: she'll be fine without having OP to kick around. If I were him, I'd become nothing but a check and vanish to the far side of the world, too.
First story is so icky and wrong on so many levels. She didn't even get to enjoy the last of her teen years and her young adult life. She went straight from teen to wife, nothing more. Even with her age being legal, it just felt like he groomed her. Seriously. It's so disgusting. Such a piece of trash father and overall, as a human being.
Unfortunately she’s considered an adult and it’s a legal relationship. Hopefully as she gets older she’ll realize she doesn’t need to waste her life and youth on a man who has already squandered his
fact I bet money OP and the friend was flirt with each other way before she 18 probably like 17 and kept it private and when she turn 18 that when they made it public that OP it a damn creepy and at the end he don't care about his own daughter, well he better keep that same energy when he on his death bead and his wife there who I bet she only with him cause he got money
Not to say the guy did or didn't groom her, as we don't have all the details on that. According to him, not (moved pretty quickly for grooming, but who knows), but he's a prick in so many other ways, can't take his word for it. That said, some people don't want to enjoy the last of their teen years/young adult life 'in that way'. When I was 18 and a fresh high school graduate, my next immediate goal was to find a partner, settle down, and start a family, as soon as possible. And no, I wasn't being groomed by anyone to do so, that's just what I wanted out of life. As crappy as this guy is to his daughter, for all we know, it's the wife who aggressively went after him. Perhaps she saw a meal ticket in her friends dad. Maybe, like me, she just wants to settle down as soon as possible.
@@plussizedbeauty1256 I already there’s creeps out there trying to justify it like an 40 year old dating an 18 years older is no different than 30 years old dating a 50 year old. It not even the same thing. 18 years have almost zero adulting experience.
@@kfrank9455 That's what makes it disgusting. You're a legal adult at 18 but you're still very much a kid. People take advantage of these kids because they're legal. Age of majority is 21. One of the girls my ex dated after me was 19. He was 32 at the time. I outright told him he had absolutely NO business dating a 19-year-old college girl. Especially one with the issues she had. I don't care that she was barely legal. It was still nasty to think about. But my ex is a bit of an idiot. Both girls he dated after me had major issues. One almost screwed him over legally by framing him for something he didn't do.
I disagree with the "judgement" on story #3. This sounded more like the straw that broke the camel's back, rather than an isolated incident.
Story 3:
No, Rslash, you were not on the dad's side at first.
The moment he tried to take the phone away, you read his dialogue in your "douchebag" voice, as if he was wrong for doing that.
The mom stopped being a parent long before OP did.
Story 3: An another patented bad RSlash take.
She's 12, not 3, and well past the age of knowing words having meaning, especially when doubling down on it. This behavior wasn't even a one time thing. Daddy/Daughter dates wouldn't have fixed it either. Therapy, maybe, except the ex-wife and her family would probably sabotage that too.
I've known people who were turned against a parent by a spiteful ex and that's what it sounds like here. Maybe one day it can be fixed, maybe it can't l. I just can't blame OP here.
Why is the daughter's fiance a boy but his 18 wife is a grown woman?
good catch.
I had the same thought!
Huh! I didn’t think about that. You are right. The phrasing from OP proves that he is a scumbag.
Yeah, seems like in his eyes, women mature quicker than men and 18 means you're an adult now.
Because he's hitting it and doesn't want to accept what he actually is. OP is lying through his teeth when he says he didn't meet her before she was 18.
Story 3: Nah, Vetoing Rslash on that one. Ex-Wife and her family have systematically eroded any relationship OP had with his daughter. So he's 100% justified at that point to burn the bridge even with his own kid. We're not talking about abandoning a 3 year old. We're talking about teaching a TEENAGER to "Be careful what you wish for". Rslash really needs to be careful playing his "Dad Card" because he really walks up to the "Out of Touch Privileged" line way to frequently when it comes to kids. Some people legitimately have shitty families that they're better off without.
Yeah he really likes using the dad card almost every post
Came here to basically say the same thing
Totally agree, right now she's a teenager and her mom's side is giving her all the want, so she became entitled. OP is right in wanting an out, he even seems to be ready to pay. The teen will realised her actions has consequences.
And that doesn't stop the both of them to reconcile when she's older and in a better place for it.
Rslash is out of touch and privileged. He keeps making ridiculously bad calls and this one is another example. He pulls the dad card so often as if it's his get out of jail free card to make poor decisions. Getting very frustrating and damaging his channel.
I agree , OP was loosing work advancement opportunities just to be close to a daughter that openly hates him, that wishes another guy was her dad and with in-laws dripping poison on her hears , I would to cut my loses and move on or else he would be the one that will end up hating her.
Story 3: Rslash is wrong. OP isn’t taking away a father, he’s taking away a lightning rod. Now his ex will have to deal with the monster she’s created.
"I did not meet my wife when she was a minor, that would have been extremely disgusting!"
So you met her when she was 18?
"I met her when she was 18!"
Yep. Of course.
That… and marrying an 18 year old so fast… it’s all so damn weird
Story 1: I know I told my daughter that I wished she'd never been born, but it's been three years!
Dude, seriously?
Yeah. Colonel Mustard called and said to get a clue
Rslash, you are so wrong on the Iphone Meltdown story. His leaving is justified because he can't be a parent if he keeps getting undermined by the in-laws and his ex never backs him up. This has clearly been going on for a long time and the Iphone Meltdown was the straw that broke the camel's back. Rslash, you've only been a father for a couple of years now. You aren't divorced, paying child support and in a constant battle with your in-laws over your parenting. Not to mention that your daughter is way less than a decade old. You seem to be blind and unsympathetic to this horrifyingly common situation parents can go through. The daughter didn't deserve this, but what can he do? Punishing her would bring him more trouble from the in-laws. I don't blame him for being done. You would be too in his situation. I seriously hope you feel the same way if OP was the mother.
I know!!! As soon as the tone changed to an entitled one, I knew it was down hill. Disappointing
Rslash going downhill on judging some of these dads.
Iphone kid he clearly doesnt understand it.
@@magical_pixie_horse7346 RSlash just expects the OP to double down and increase the punishment. What it’s that going to do except make the daughter go her mom’s house to avoid punishment. They’e continually undermining the OP.
@MrDoverfield right? Any punishment the dad does when shes with mom and in ex in laws it will just make the kid further resent the dad.
And rslash acts like this is a one time thing when he even read that the dads been going through custody court etc so its been years of this.
Agree! How long do you take disrespect from everyone around you constantly when it comes to YOUR CHILD?- naw. He’s wrong, and even on the last story obvi the guy broke up with her thru text bc he knew she was batshit crazy. He’s trying to justify why not to break up w her over text-she’s psycho, he knew she’s gonna go ape shit and she did-that’s why!
I love that in the first story OPs wife is "a grown woman" and "not a child" but then he calls his adult daughter's fiance "the boy" 😂
"I got a text from someone saying I'm a horrible, toxic person. I'm going to go right over there and prove them right!"
I dunno about the story where the Dad wants to disappear. Sounds like no other adult has had respect for OPs boundaries for a long time. Daughter's behavior is probably similar with her grandparents and mom, since she was so comfortable expressing her feelings of hate 2 her bio dad, almost like the whole family talks like this when OP isn't around. I understand his POV, but without actually knowing the XW story, I can't place judgment. No one should be expected to tolerate abuse 4 any length of time, and it really does sound like OP tried.
Story 3: rSlash once again having no reading comprehension, the whole reason op said "nope, done with this shit" is not because his daughter had a temper tantrum, its because every time he tried to discipline his daughter, the Mother would go behind his back and make him look like the bad guy. So it wasnt just one thing, it was a litany of things happening that caused him to say "you dont want me as you dad, fine, I'm not your dad anymore."
Once again like I said in another video, he thinks he’s “God dad” because he has a whopping 2 maybe 3 years experience.
That's an issue with his ex and in-laws, not the daughter. The daughter doesn't deserve to get abandoned because her mother sucks, if anything, if the guy actually loved his daughter he would talk to her and explain why everything happened the way it did.
yeah, rSlash is wrong on this one.
why do so many women refuse any accountability for their actions? because they never held responsible. well, this kid just got a huge heaping of consequences to choke on.
What is it with these takes? How come all of a sudden op is a paragon of virtue and is never lying? And when did the word of a 12-year-old all the sudden become legally binding? You don't get to just disown your kids because your ex 's family is crazy. I really hope the people who agree with this take don't have kids.
I'm with you on this one. The little turd needs to learn her lesson, but so do mom & her parents.
On the last one, I like how she said ‘some dishes and glasses ended up broken’ as though they just happened to break while she was there of their own accord as opposed to her intentionally breaking them.
story 1: "she didnt even introduce me to the boy!" - so you admit people this age are children to you?
That’s so rude of the mom to make you the bad guy if you agreed in the phone
3rd story: It is about time the Father grew a backbone and moved on, not allowing anyone or anything to destroy his life anymore. Hey Dabny, the fact that you do not understand what that man went through or why it was time to move on is telling.
Anyone else notice that first OP is vehement about everyone knowing is wife is a "fully grown woman," but then refers to her daughter's fiance - who is probably the same age or older - as a "boy"?
Last story: A guy rejected me saying I have a garbage personality and a terrible attitude. So I went over there and proved him right!!!
🙄
RSlash a toddler isn’t the same as a teen. You always make comparisons to your daughter and they’re not relevant to the stories most of the time lol
I guess it's just becuase he's a new parent and feels like he got it all, especially since he has no problems with in-laws, the kid is still small and he has good relationship with wife, not understanding how you can be crushed year after year being belittled by in-laws and ex-wife blaming you and kid yelling how they hate you for not getting you an iphone would crush me as well.
Dabney is still a new parent, still pink glasses on his nose, not having same problems he thinks it's so easy to just ignore it and continue the same cycle.
Dabney, I’m sorry, but I think your take on the third story is wrong. The dude literally did everything he could to be a part of his daughter’s life, and his ex and her parents always went behind his back and undermined him, doing so in a way that if he called them out, they would still look good to his daughter while OP looked like the bad guy. If anything the incident with the phone was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. He tried and tried to be a good dad, but when he puts his foot down on this and his daughter said she hated him and wanted him gone, over a PHONE mind you, then it just broke him. He did everything he could, and it wasn’t enough, and I don’t blame him for finally snapping. If I was in his position and my daughter said that to me, after everything I’d done, I think it would break my heart. Mind you, I do think the relationship between them is salvageable; she’s 12 after all, and given time and reflection, there may come a day when she realizes what really happened and want to make amends, but as for the present, I don’t blame the father for finally saying “I can’t do this anymore”.
If this is your real opinion, then genuinely don't have kids. 12 13 s prime puberty age and even without it, kids are emotional and volatile. They say mean things, hit and break stuff and you don't get to just tap out and say I'm done. You made this person and until they're an adult, you're responsible for parenting them even when they're mean to you. I think he just wanted a reason to take that great promotion that came along and this little temper tantrum of his was his way to justify abandoning her.
Parents don't get days off and their feelings don't trump the wellbeing of their kid.
Agree with this. I think the irony is that the very thing Rslash is critical of could actually help. OP’s daughter is clearly acting the way she is because she’s been spoiled by her mother, a mother who it seems given by her reaction the moment OP says she can have full custody is actually quite emotionally unavailable and only sees her daughter as a tool. It’d be a harsh reality check to realize that her stepdad is likely not going to be willing to do everything her father actually did, such as going to every event, and will act like her love can be bought.
@anonimus8375 so this guy is just supposed to sit through another six years of being undermined by his ex and her parents? It sounds like the custody arrangement is at least 50/50, more likely, favors the mother. How is op suppose to improve his daughter behavior if at least half the time she lives with people who actively undermine his authority as a parent?
@anonimus8375 you completely missed the part where the ex and ex in laws are constantly undermining op. From what it sounds the entire child's lively hood he's been nothing hut the bad guy. So much so that it caused such a rift between the ex and him that they got a divorce . There comes a point in time where you can't keep pushing against the tide anymore . And for OP it's getting to be that time.
She won’t ever have that realization if he doesn’t stay in her life. He‘ll just be the guy that abandoned her over a phone in her mind. If he does stay and explain how hurtful that was, she may realize and apologize within the week. Kids emotions are very strong but don’t always last very long. When I was 12 my biodad was constantly letting me get away with everything and spoiling me rotten for the few weeks a year I spent with him. When I got home to my moms she would have to pretty much detox my horrible behavior and also take care of me because of how sick I would get after not getting any actual care the past few weeks. I threw a lot of tantrums and she didn’t kick me out. She just said she would not be treated that way and I needed to think about my behavior. She was firm but never implied she didn’t love me. She told me straight up she didn’t love my behavior at the moment which hurt but was totally justified. Being a parent means you probably will be treated like shit at some point because kids have their moments where they totally suck. Taking your anger at your ex out on the kid isn’t a good way to handle it.
Aw. I love that you & your daughter have that time together. I used to have daddy daughter days w/ my dad & those are still some of my happiest memories w/ him. It was a day where he wasn't too busy w/ house projects or w/ my bros. We rarely got time to chat or spend time together outside of that
That's cool. Me and my dad used to run together and sometimes we still go to the movie theater together
"She's 17 years and 364 days old? That's disgusting, I'd never think of my wife that way if I had met her when she was a minor. now 17 years and 365 days on the other hand..."
Yup all it is just days difference
"It's a leap year, so still disgusting. Ask again tomorrow ..." 😂
“Why don’t you take a seat? Just right there, take a seat.”
“How does he *do* that?!”
Basically story 1:
OP: Wow your friend is hot
Daughter: DAD WTF???
OP: Should never have had you.
(3 years of him ignoring her later)
OP: Talk to me
Talk to me
Talk to me
Daughter: ...what do you want?
OP: ...
Daughter: Whatever, I'm going
OP: Reddit, I'm so lonely how can you bully me? Im the real victim!!!
Story 3: I’m lucky that I’ve had a loving and “complete” family my whole life. But OP’s family isn’t like that. And you can’t compare a 3 y/o in a functional relationship to a 12 y/o in a disfunctional divorced one. They just aren’t the same. They don’t think the same, they don’t act the same, and they shouldn’t be treated the same. RSlash, your family is sweet but you can’t pretend all families are like yours.
Story 3: While I see where Rslash's intention was, I have to agree with what seems to be a lot of people. It really sounds like OP was trying to have a relationship with his daughter but his ex-wife and ex-Family in laws constantly went against him and diminished his role as a father. It's like trying to light a fire when there's someone constantly pouring water over the kindling so OP just...decided not to spend any more energy into something he knew was pointless. I'll admit I don't have kids and I get that it's his daughter but really, what else can OP do? Maybe family therapy? Tho do have to say the job thing might be a slight overreaction purely in case either OP or the daughter regret what happened and tries to rebuild the relationship.
Also this is purely based on what OP said but my guess is that OP has always been the "bad guy" parent. The one who sets and enforces rules. The mother and step father are gonna be in a whole different world with OP out of the daughter's life.
Story 3: I'm actually on OPs side. I think it's valid that sometimes, something can just break in you and you don't want to deal with things anymore. It sounded like OP went above and beyond, declined jobs he wanted and all that for a daughter that he continously has to fight other people over. There is also a difference between a 12 year old and your young daughter crying for mommy. She wasn't crying for mommy, she was being entitled and spoiled and it was a constant tug of war for a child that had picked a side. Of course she is young, and she makes mistakes, and OP might come to regret, or maybe the daughter might. He can't hold her accountable like you would an adult. But I can empathise with OP here that he had been sacrificing money, happiness and his own life just to lose over and over. This also sounds like it wasn't the first time, but a repeated thing that just made OP unhappy and burned him out. I think, even if she is his daughter, he has every right to cut contact with her so long as she isn't abandoned. Which it seems like she is not.
So op took the first chance to abandon his daughter and you think that that's acceptable? Also nothing about that story sounded iffy like he was hiding information or not fully explaining? Anyone who says that they looked into the eyes of a 12-year-old and knew for a fact that what they were telling was 100% true Is lying to you. 12-year-olds literally need to live their life all over again to even have a fully developed brain. You all just seem to hate kids or not know how to be a parent. Stop putting yourself in the situation and look at the situation as it is. If it was someone else's kid disrespecting you, I think it's perfectly acceptable to be like. "Okay, I'm done with that." But that is not the situation even a little bit.
@@khrishpfirst?
did you ever heard the story properly
@@khrishp ok now I know you didn't read the story. the OP said that his ex and her parents keep undermining his parenting and he's at the end of his rope.
Agreed. I rolled my eyes when RSlash began making the comparison with his toddler. He always does that at least once an episode.
Like dude we get it, you love your daughter but not everything is comparable lol
@pablodiaz2792 The moment RSlash began making the "jerk voice" I knew some speech about how good of a dad/husband he is would be coming. This time I'm just assuming since I skipped that part
Nah I agree with OP, his kid doesn't want him around and he's giving her what she wanted. Dude gets ganged up on by the in-laws and makes the kid hate him.
New comment for story 4-
Bravo for PROVING why he doesn't like your personality- going to his place, arguing, crying and BREAKING stuff-
I wouldn't be surprised if the whole friend group would ditch OP later down the line
RSlash's response to story 3 goes like this:
"OP is starving, and chose to go get food, *what an asshole!* I know what starving is like, I haven't eaten since this morning."
Literally how effing similar his comparison is. Dude. Because so many 3 year olds are -exactly- like middle schoolers...? For real? Check yourself man. You have no right to shit on parents in shittier positions than yourself. I hope you never have to experience this first hand, but if you do, remember this father.
The biggest reason op on the 3rd story soundslike a douch is because of the voice rslash is giving him, if instead of using that voice it just kept the normal voice it would be a very different perspective
I've found that he does this a lot to people he predetermines as bad guys inorderto sway the viewer to see it how he see's it, for all we know the man could have been crying as he was typing that not gloating. what more does he want from him he literally cant do anything he is in an impossible situation
I disagree, even with the entitled voice I can tell OP is not the bad guy. And I see a lot of comments calling Rslash out on it.
Agreed. I was asking myself why RSlash was giving OP a snooty voice as if he's entitled.
Disagreed, because I heard this story the other day on another reddit reading channel and the guy reading it didn't use an entitled voice for OP. And on that video, the comments and the reader still tore OP a new one for having his own tantrum and abandoning his daughter like that. I'm actually surprised how this comment section seems to be majority in favor of OP #3 when the majority of the other video's comment section was opposed to him. I think perhaps RSlash giving him the voice made the viewers want to *defend* OP more.
@@Tustin2121 I think it's more that CZcams and Reddit have different user bases with different life experience.
I think the fact that the ex wife would undermine everything OP would do to try and discipline their daughter. The phone was simply the last straw. She's 12, so she's definitely old enough to understand that actions have consequences. OP may have not have much of a relationship with his daughter after this, but it's mostly his ex wife's and former in law's fault for forcing the erosion in the first place.
Parents don’t have to stand constant disrespect from their kids, especially if the family opposes correcting them. If the family wants to raise a monster, they now can. The father isn’t abusing the kid; he’s still materially supporting her. He’s just disengaged from a terribly toxic situation.
I feel like RSlash misremembered or misunderstood as he read through that 3rd story. He spoke like OP was abandoning an 8 year old, nah that's a teenager. And this clearly wasn't the first time he was made the bad guy. If you read between the lines, given the wife remarried about 8 years prior, we're likely talking about at least a decade of OP's in-laws systematically eroding the relationship between him and his daughter, undermining his parenting, and making him the bad guy for everything. I can't blame the guy.
Let's just hope that this hits home for the daughter, that she eventually realizes that it was her entitled attitude and toxic family that pushed her dad away... here's hoping he updates this 10-15 years from now with the story of reconnecting with his daughter after she cuts off her toxic grandparents and enabling mother
Story 1 should be reposted to r/AmITheDevil
it has apparently
Yeah I need multiple showers to get the ick off from that story
The last one too.
It wasn’t mentioned I don’t think but was the father divorced when he started “dating” his daughters 18 year old friend?
It wasn't the daughters friend
@@hoffdawgwithmustard9647 They were friends. His wife and his daughter were friends. The wife came over to hang out with his daughter, and that's how their relationship started. It's in the video ops first edit .
@@hoffdawgwithmustard96472:58
Like he said the whole I didn't date her as a minor but then reveals they started dating right when they legally could
Story 1: Not only did OP burn the bridge with his daughter, he burnt it, stomp on the ashes, then somehow blew off his side of the mountain and put a "Do Not Enter" sign, juuuuuust to make sure he never repairs that bridge again. That is so scummy.
Story 3:
I was able to break my mother to the point that she once told me she was done being my mom. It was like only for a few hours before she was able to calm down, but it is absolutely possible to make a parent just say "nope. I'm done. I can't do it anymore." I was a bit older than the kid in this story so it was some really nasty teenage bs. I can imagine in OP's case where he has the other parent undermining him and another side of the family working against him it would be even easier to just break when the kid is also insisting they hate you. So I'm a little less against OP than rslash is... however, the thing is OP was REAL fast about saying "hey boss, gimme that job after all. I suddenly have way more free time." Like, he didn't even give it a week or two, or even just a few days, for the kid to calm down and have another talk.
Story 3 it sounds like the ex-wife and her family does things to set this guy up... I have no doubt this was not the first time. If mom was responsible she would have brought up the Iphone to the dad first before giving it to the daughter. Also what the girl said was mean but it sounds like the mom and her family have been talking crap behind his back... That said the job was already a problem in his mind... He wanted the job but didn't take it because of the daughter and then she acts like this. Where he crossed the line was to just go off on the daughter instead of speaking with her. I get it what happened to him sucks but telling his kid he quits as a father is messed up, he could have taken the job and set up an alternate schedule with her. he could have sat her down for a serious talk and if he did want to give her up to the step-dad he could have done it in a way that let her have the choice instead of using it as a punishment. it's a messed up situation all around.
Rslash, what you forget about in story 3 is that the inlaws are enabling this behavior and swaying the ex's choices. I don't think you're going through that in your example. And it's not like the dad is being a deadbeat--he is still paying to support his daughter, he's just not inserting himself into situations that he has no hope of fixing. What would staying and fighting this losing battle accomplish? Other than OP keeling over from a heart attack because of all of the stress? There are some situations where patience and hugging it out can't help. This is unfortunately one of them. OP definitely needs therapy, though.
Story 1: I feel OP's daughter. My old man said something similar to me, his words, "I wish the doctors would have scoped you out of your mother." And "why can't you be good like my pets."
For the last story, in high school i had a younger girl who was deeply in love with me. I was just being nice but she was leaving me love notes and borderline stalking me. I asked my Dad for help. He said, "You need to be just a little mean. Speaking politely but you need to make it very clear you aren't interested and never will be. Destroy any idea of you even being friends" So i did and it worked. I told her i wasn't interested and she started to cry. I didn't comfort her and went NC afterwards. If i tried to be her friend or comforted her, she would cling to hope. I had to completely but the bridge but minimize the damage to her. For context, i was graduating high school and she just turned 16.