Why Break up Affects Our Confidence?
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- čas přidán 12. 06. 2015
- Breakups and our confidence. Why feels like our confidence is affected? How should we think instead? Is a friendly discussion about why we feel as if our confidence has been affected after a breakup and how should we be thinking to do justice to the event and react based on the reality of her character or what the truth of the relationship with her was.
#Breakup #heartbreak #lifecoach
Mehran Dadbeh (Author)
Break-Ups, Life & Your Psyche
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I just want you to know I was having a really hard time today, your words took all the pain away and made me stop blaming myself for everything.
This is the video that has been the most influential to me in your entire channel. What a tremendous masterpiece. Thank you so much.!
hi Mehran ... let me tell you .. you make me be free.. and finally .. I see the crystal clear.. thanks... from the bottom of my hearth ..
+mirandha miranda Hello Mirandha, I am sorry dear I just saw your message! :) some how it must had slipped through the cracks :) I was just watching this video myself and noticed your message that has not been responded to. I hope everything is good for you now and you feel perfectly new and with new stuff happening which you approve and enjoy. Thank you for your kind words. Be good to yourself, Mehran
Sir your counselling, your videos, chats, Q&A and all that you offer are just incredibly profound. Couldn't thank you enough. With lots of good wishes and gratitude I hope you keep doing this for years to come. Thanks
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you for your wisdom.
Love your videos!! They are so helpful
I have peace of mind now
Thanks for the peace of mind. Just discovered this video. Appreciate you !
you are welcomed Cody, we are having a live talk right now which you can join and ask your questions if you have any.
Even after 5 years, still an awesome video! Listening during quarantine 2020...thank you sir!
glad they are helpful or enjoyable still.
When my now ex and I broke up...it started off as a realization of the unfixable problems...I am 31 years older and she kept us secret for 26 months...although we were together more than in my former marriage...
So when we broke up, she at first sent me an I'll always Love You email.
She kept texting on and off for two months, ending with three counseling sessions.
So, what started off as a no blame to me break up, changed.
It changed into her building up a case against me.
Once, she was too embarrassed to buy something at the drug store. I said I could leave in 15 minutes to go buy her that, leaving from my apartment that was 45 minutes away, and that was bad that I casually said I'd be on my way in 15 minutes , and she freaked out, and brought that up in tears a year later in his office. The counselor told us that I wasn't there for her in the way that she needed me at that time....and that became a mind screw because I thought I was there for her 24/7.
She complained and screamed at me that I bought her a dish wand for her kitchen sink, that I bought her steak knives...
(She had a new apartment, and told me not to buy her flowers or cards...so I bought her things that I saw that she could use....WD 40 even)
So my point is, as you say, it shouldn't be all on ourselves, YET, when she framed the reason as being these silly reasons, it brings out that I want to correct things...be the White Knight and get her validation once again.
She said she wanted to be lifelong friends without the intimacy part...and now, with me being so much older, I thought this was possible, because I loved her and liked her for many reasons beyond just the sex.
So now, it's been a year and a half...yet I have music gigs at least two seasons a year where we are playing together and we are in the same break room and on the same stage three nights a week.
She came up to me at the beginning of the summer and broke her own self imposed No Contact and smiled and talked to me.
I was of course happy and I'm sure I lit up.
The sad part is I think she just did that to see if she still had any power over my feelings....because after that she just went back to no contact. We walk right by each other and maybe we smirk a smile....it is SO awkward.
Have you ever been in this type of work situation?
It brings up my pain of loss. This current gig is over next Sunday and it will likely happen again this Christmas season.
I only keep hoping to have a cordial true interaction with her, but it seems that anything I say would be mis construed into me trying to get back with her.
Ok, I get it, I'm too old. But she led me on for 26 months denying that age was a problem for her...and I invested way too much time and depth of caring for a young, insecure, beautiful musician that I projected my Dreams onto.
So, trying to feel confident after her breakup complaints about my role in the break up, makes it really tough on me, especially after trying to be so much of what she seemed to want.
I gave too much, for too little.
Thanks for your words and experience.
I love this video. Very well said, as always, my friend :)
***** Thank you dear, I am glad you are enjoying them. Do visit my Facebook page " Mind That Seeks Truth " and share the videos dear. :)
Dear Mehran, It's really me helping me a lot as to what you have explained. The past few days I have been watching some of your videos, after the break up, and it's making me better.....and your are so wonderful .. thank you :)
You are welcomed Sharath.
I appreciate it.
I wish I'd have found these videos a year ago, it's now 13 months ago since my wife left.
I'm still not there psychologically, but your wisdom is very reassuring and gives me hope that maybe I can kick the depression soon. I was worried she'd be stuck in my head for years, and ruin any future opportunity to be happy, I won't be trusting anybody for a while I don't think.
I've tried everything, I drank heavily for about three months, an offshore trip was the only thing that broke that cycle, I had to spend two months sober.
Idealising my ex was the issue and it took ten months to kick that habit, the last three have been about beating myself up for not finishing it myself when I knew who she really was. There were many things outside of our control that happened to us and had an effect on our mental states, but what these events did do was illuminate the lack of character and the self orientated nature of the person I was with.
Most people will never know the point at which their partner would give up on them, I now count myself lucky that I found out while I'm still young, able to make a life with someone who deserves me and the effort I put in.
I'm far from perfect, I expect to get out what I put in, I'm unhappy when I don't , I ruminate, and I can be judgemental. But I'm working on it, and I won't make the same mistakes again, it's just a bit of a kicker to feel like seven years have been wasted, and to have to start again.
Thanks for the video, it meant a lot
+Markio 1982 I am delighted that the videos are helpful to you.
Watch the following in addition to the ones you chose to watch, you may find then interestingly helpful :
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Also if you like visit my face book page " Mind That Seeks truth " . Visit the Forum if you wish and share stories and opinion of others or express your opinion on the situation or stories shared by others who are going through similar challenges from around the world. www.breakupclub.ca In a couple of weeks you can also check out my site www.mindthatseekstruth.com where I announce when the books are released ( mid January 2016 ). Enjoy your life , every minute of it. :)
Your vids are great man, I cant believe I found them, im in the middle of a really bad break up, I recontacted her, she wants to meet me to 'patch things up' and...idk my good memories want to give her a 2nd chance.
Subhanallah, such an amazing powerful/Helpful human being you are, all I can say is Thank you for being a compass directing the confused broken hearted..
+Mcklouski Thank you dear. Glad you are enjoying them :) all will be fine and better than ever before just get busy with your day to day stuff and build your present and future. Don't look back and make new friends and explore the positive world.
+Mehran Dadbeh, we are all a big family I can honestly say that knowing tonight is a beautiful night knowing you talked to me before I sleep.. GOOD NIGHT :) ;) :')
+Mcklouski Then sleep well dear. Tomorrow is another part of the gift of life that is awaiting you :)
Thank you, I know what you're saying is true. But still struggle with my divorce. I guess I feel shame because here I am 61 and divorced again.
let me just say.........i love you!!
Eva Vand Lol, thank you. I am glad you are enjoying the videos.
i love your videos so much , really very helpfull . My 5 year relationship ended 3 weeks ago , first week i was really depressed. Since i started watching videos like Yours I'm starting to think there is still something good waiting for me , all we need is time :) thanks for Your videos and bringing up the positive attitude in my life
cen sor Same here! My ex boy broke up with me 3 weeks ago after almost 4 years. It's hard but we need to let it go. In the first week I was sooooooooo bad, right now I feel I can live without him. I still think about him all the time and I can't stop it, it's really sad. Wish u the best :)
How are things now 😬 ?
Love this. You described how I think in 15 minutes :)
Glad you enjoyed it Sid :)
@@MehranDadbeh i enjoy everything that you say :)
@@Eureka27902 Between the two messages I fell asleep! :) So not everything I say as sometime I might be talking while asleep! :)
@@MehranDadbeh true that. But i am sure even while sleeping, there is lots of wisdom :)
@@Eureka27902 Lol, yes in my dreams! :) Good night dear Sid I am gone. :)
yes this is me I always blame my self ...thank you thank you for this wounder full advice.
You are welcomed Aziz, I am glad the video is helpful to you. Share the videos you like and let the others also know that there is help .
Wish I had found this video earlier, nvm God bless you sir for those thoughtful insights!
I am glad you find them helpful Uzair. You will be fine, there are over 600 videos on my channel here and I am certain that they will be helpful beyond expectations! :)
Well this is what I have been hearing from subscribers and I am delighted to be part of the balance you all are striving for.
Please feel free to visit and like my FB page : facebook.com/mindthatseekstruth/ where I have my announcements for Live Q & A Talks, and place supportive posts and videos. Please let me know from which country you are watching the videos and to which age category you belong to. It would be wonderful if you would share the videos you like on your social media to help others know that there is support after break-Ups and bring more exposure to what this channel is all about. Be good to yourself always. With thanks, Mehran
P.S.
How to join the live talks:
You can join my live talks on Saturdays (At 11.30 AM Vancouver ( Pacific ) Time zone.) on Fb Page:
facebook.com/mindthatseekstruth/
or on Sundays ( Same time ) on Fb Pagefacebook.com/AmazingThingsInTheWorld/
This is how the post looks like for the Live Talk on Saturdays or Sundays which I will post it on my FB page: (facebook.com/mindthatseekstruth/) a day or a few hours or minutes prior to the Live Talk:
LIVE Q & A on Your Breakup, Your Relationship, Your Psyche & Life.
With Mehran D (Author)
Unlock Your Mind & Move On!
Sunday 11.30 AM Vancouver time (Pacific), 2.30 PM (Atlantic),
12.30 after midnight (India) Right here on this link: facebook.com/AmazingThingsInTheWorld/
czcams.com/users/MD007ish
www.MindThatSeeksTruth.com
For Skype consultation:
If you would like us to address certain specific situation you might be facing with, then please visit my site www.MindThatSeeksTruth.com and click on the " Talk to me for consultation " button and see which one of the appointment options is suitable to your needs. I will receive the request through the system and will confirm one of the 3 time and date choices you may chose and will confirm it through e-mail or the Skype address of yours.
I love how you're always laughing and happy in your videos lol
Mariza Fleming It's a better choice than not being happy and content! :) Being happy syncronises the frequency of our energy with the energy of the nature and bring tranquility and balance while improves the energy flow and our moods. Its like cleaning off and dusting off the furniture and the floors of the room and opening the window for fresh flow of air into the room before accepting and sitting with friend to share moments of a day to enjoy and interact! :)
Wow do you have any books I could buy? I love your wisdom and thank you for helping me close the door on a relationship.
Glad you enjoy the videos Mariza,. You can go on to my site www.MindThatSeeksTruth.com and take a look at the table of contents of each of my books and read a sample chapter of each one and decide which one would be what you would want and then chose from paper version or the E-book version and follow the prompts. On my site I also have a sample video of my 1 hour seminar I did for a local university on "The End of Fear " I am sure you might find that interesting as well. Be good to yourself always. Mehran
Keep sending the videos to my CZcams account. They help me out allot.
Think of the bad stuff they did to you.
Do you have an e-mail address?
You can visit and like my FB page " mind that seeks truth " . I have two pages with same page name. One is " Author" and one " Books ". Choose the " Author " and send me your question/ message.