Why It Sucked to Be a Pirate

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  • čas přidán 24. 08. 2016
  • Yar Har fiddle dee dee, bein a pirate just blows dick to me
    Intro and outro song:
    "Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
    creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

Komentáře • 12K

  • @dunkienugg8792
    @dunkienugg8792 Před 4 lety +12007

    "But here's a few honorable mentions"
    *eyes immediately drop to D i c k R o t*

    • @DISTurbedwaffle918
      @DISTurbedwaffle918 Před 4 lety +832

      *J u n g l e D i c k R o t*

    • @nelly5954
      @nelly5954 Před 4 lety +639

      @@DISTurbedwaffle918 *R o t t e n D i c k J u n g l e s*

    • @mrkiky
      @mrkiky Před 4 lety +247

      Yea it's really the Rotten Dick Jungles that get you....

    • @hightechhamza2006
      @hightechhamza2006 Před 4 lety +183

      Dick sniffles

    • @Seth-cn3xy
      @Seth-cn3xy Před 4 lety +207

      *D I C K S NU F F L E S*

  • @masonlunde3054
    @masonlunde3054 Před 5 lety +15285

    Can't spell disease without sea

  • @jacobgonzalez1386
    @jacobgonzalez1386 Před rokem +2791

    Being fair to old Jack Sparrow, all his flips and rope swings are exclusively to run away from the pirates who are hacking the side characters to bits and pieces.

    • @walrusArmageddon
      @walrusArmageddon Před rokem +142

      The crew at the beginning of a Pirates movie is always larger than the crew at the end. I think like, what, 6 or 7 people are left at the end of the second one?

    • @bigben9492
      @bigben9492 Před rokem +92

      To be fair, jack knew how to fight with a sword, and so did most of his crew. To be extra fair, pirates irl weren't just dumbasses with sharp objects, they knew how to use said objects to a good degree. Now as for the shot being wasted on a deck hand if it was even able to shoot at the time, not sure.

    • @NigerianCrusader
      @NigerianCrusader Před 10 měsíci +5

      @@walrusArmageddonINCLUDING TODD HOWARD

    • @NigerianCrusader
      @NigerianCrusader Před 10 měsíci +1

      @@bigben9492STOP IGNORING ME

    • @Lrizu
      @Lrizu Před 7 měsíci +1

      ​@@NigerianCrusaderuh nuh uhhhhh

  • @pon8255
    @pon8255 Před rokem +690

    fun fact: pirates didnt just drink budweiser by the gallon because they loved getting drunk but because the way beer was fermented at the time the consistency was closer to a very watery bread dough that had some alcohol in it so it was actually very filling as well as stimulating which is why depictions of beer at the time was very foamy. they really drank it cus it was just sterile and almost food, getting drunk was just a plus

    • @NigerianCrusader
      @NigerianCrusader Před 10 měsíci +14

      WHATS BUDWEISER MATEY

    • @Icybeqnz
      @Icybeqnz Před 7 měsíci +6

      @@NigerianCrusaderpirate prison beer lol

    • @njinlover
      @njinlover Před 6 měsíci +18

      I read they also drank beer because they didn't have enough clean water, which makes sense

    • @Ignatiusussy
      @Ignatiusussy Před 4 měsíci +19

      @@njinlover I imagine it probably went something like this: "Water is cheap, but beer is also cheap, filling (the beer of those times was very thick), and gets us drunk, so lets just get the beer."

    • @anthonygerace8926
      @anthonygerace8926 Před 2 měsíci +5

      @@njinlover Most people on land drank alcohol for the same reason.

  • @beanybushjr.7021
    @beanybushjr.7021 Před 3 lety +4865

    Reasons not to be a pirate:
    1: *Death.*

    • @mr.context3872
      @mr.context3872 Před 3 lety +17

      @Super Ruler no no no, rotten dick jungles were worse

    • @TheHolyCheese75
      @TheHolyCheese75 Před 3 lety +25

      That's actually a good reason to become a pirate

    • @GunslingerLv
      @GunslingerLv Před 3 lety +14

      Only reason I need to become pirate

    • @hyde3155
      @hyde3155 Před 3 lety +12

      wym thats the best part

    • @beanybushjr.7021
      @beanybushjr.7021 Před 3 lety +9

      About half this comment section is r/cursed comments.

  • @bingbongjoel6581
    @bingbongjoel6581 Před 4 lety +25313

    I thought pirates ate chicken, fish and apples. Cus that’s always what pirate Lego sets included.

    • @MrSage0011
      @MrSage0011 Před 4 lety +1400

      I thought they have an orange tree in the ship
      And a very good cock with yellow hair

    • @Armadurapersonal
      @Armadurapersonal Před 4 lety +183

      Cute avatar dude

    • @ridiculicious
      @ridiculicious Před 4 lety +361

      @@MrSage0011 "cock"-!
      *...Well, I mean, you're not wrong.

    • @MrSage0011
      @MrSage0011 Před 4 lety +223

      @@ridiculiciousshit I wrote that??

    • @destiny_9533
      @destiny_9533 Před 4 lety +118

      I thought they fished or didn't even need to eat

  • @micahphilson
    @micahphilson Před rokem +543

    He's not entirely right about the salt pork or beef. They would almost always soak or boil the meat to extract most of the salt out of it and soften it up a bit before cooking with it.
    Same with the hardtack, they rarely ate it straight as rock-hard bread, they'd typically cook it into a stew or at least dip it in water or grog.

    • @NigerianCrusader
      @NigerianCrusader Před 10 měsíci +6

      TODD HOWARD DOESNT

    • @jonathanherrera9956
      @jonathanherrera9956 Před 8 měsíci +13

      Water from where? You are describing it as if they had plenty of non-salty water aboard a ship; probably what you say could apply to on land food, but hardly on a ship that aims to spend weeks or months in the sea. Water is way too precious to be wasted cooking.

    • @grantflippin7808
      @grantflippin7808 Před 8 měsíci +41

      ​@@jonathanherrera9956 if the ship is low on water, you don't touch the salt pork, because it would make the crew thirsty and deplete the remaining barrels of water

    • @smithsmith6402
      @smithsmith6402 Před 7 měsíci +28

      @@jonathanherrera9956 Pirates don't need to spend months at sea. That's for merchants trying to cross oceans. Pirates can hang out near coastlines and refill their water often enough to be way less of an issue, and carrying excess water around to make the ship seem like a heavy, slow, harmless merchant ship was a good idea anyways. Being a pirate might have sucked, but it certainly wasn't nearly as bad as being in a legitimate navy.

    • @Hazel-hn2dt
      @Hazel-hn2dt Před 5 měsíci +2

      How do you start a fire on a wooden ship? If they were going to cook you needed fire…

  • @tjm11015
    @tjm11015 Před 7 měsíci +191

    My favorite pirate was Black Bart Roberts. He was literally captured by pirates ☠, was forced to join the crew because he was a navigator, then when the captain died he was voted in as captain. Then he said, oh fck it, a short and merry life we will have. Then went on to have a suicidal charge across the sea, and is BY FAR the most successful pirate in the Atlantic. He captured over 400 vessels, to put that into comparison, black beard captured 30. And he died straddling a cannon while the rest of his crew were drunk and afraid. Man was a fckn MAD LAD!

    • @victorlolxd7347
      @victorlolxd7347 Před měsícem +2

      Mine is Santas brother from elf bowling

    • @selg865
      @selg865 Před 2 dny

      What about Calico Jack and Charles Vane

    • @tjm11015
      @tjm11015 Před dnem

      @@selg865 Fck John Rackham, I preferred his wife Bonnie to be honest.
      Vane was not nearly as successful as Black Bart Roberts, but he did get some cred with his last words when they hung him, "Get on with it motherfckrs".

  • @brieblevins66
    @brieblevins66 Před 5 lety +6130

    sir that's my emotional support weevil

  • @MaxJDF
    @MaxJDF Před 4 lety +8974

    I like how little Jimmy's voice is deeper than Sammy's

  • @karelklos5483
    @karelklos5483 Před rokem +506

    Fun fact: Navy Soldiers actually got scurvy significantly more often then Pirates because the rum drinks they made often contained limes or other citrus

    • @Cha0tic_G00d
      @Cha0tic_G00d Před rokem +12

      That's weird, because Sam said you get scurvy from vitamin c deficiency while citrus are a source of vitamin c

    • @karelklos5483
      @karelklos5483 Před rokem +106

      @@Cha0tic_G00d yeah, the pirates made rum drinks with citrus while the Navy did not, so the Navy got scurvy more frequently

    • @pressftopayrespects6325
      @pressftopayrespects6325 Před rokem +14

      Navy sailors*
      Small nitpick but is one of my pet peeves anyway.

    • @karelklos5483
      @karelklos5483 Před rokem +15

      @@pressftopayrespects6325 well thank god you took time out of ur day to correct ME over one of YOUR pet peeves.

    • @pressftopayrespects6325
      @pressftopayrespects6325 Před rokem +22

      @@karelklos5483 No need to be harsh partner, just putting it out there that soldiers aren’t in any other military branches than the army.

  • @jasonhansen8035
    @jasonhansen8035 Před rokem +118

    Bros just lying so he can become king of the pirates

  • @yeet2787
    @yeet2787 Před 4 lety +12434

    You forgot about the fact that a pirate would carry around 5 or more pistols because the second they got wet they wouldn't fire so they would just keep drawing pistols until one fired

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 4 lety +1604

      Also they took forever to reload so again it's just easier to grab another one and reload it after the fight is over.

    • @ShiftdoesViolentRape
      @ShiftdoesViolentRape Před 4 lety +955

      They did Reaper Reload™ before it was cool.

    • @Alizudo
      @Alizudo Před 4 lety +511

      @@ShiftdoesViolentRape
      Which is another reason why Reaper goes so well with a pirate skin

    • @Burn_Angel
      @Burn_Angel Před 4 lety +331

      They weren't the first to do that. From what I know, dutch cavalry invented that strategy.
      Well, if you can call that a strategy.

    • @hellatze
      @hellatze Před 4 lety +128

      @@Burn_Angel its a common sense lol.

  • @thatissuperfunny5358
    @thatissuperfunny5358 Před 4 lety +10784

    Schrodinger's Hardtack: if you eat it in the dark, the hardtack is simultaneously infested and not infested with weevils.

  • @SomeGuy-gc8zs
    @SomeGuy-gc8zs Před rokem +108

    After a certain point, many pirates had a TON of formal training, because they were largely comprised of deserters from various professional navies.

    • @archwaldo
      @archwaldo Před rokem +12

      Weren't they war veterans? Iirc one of the reasons for the age of piracy was the lack of demand and excess of supply for soldiers. They had no more jobs and got all of these military equipment lying around, so...

    • @jarnodatema
      @jarnodatema Před 6 měsíci +3

      Well If I were press hanged into service, I’d be like “fuck it” too. The goal would be to climb the ranks in the navy as fast as possible or turn pirate, pillage as much booty in as short time as possible and then retire before I’m killed

  • @CazCraven
    @CazCraven Před 11 měsíci +63

    In pirate combat the cannon balls would hit the ship mostly and create a huge wave of splinters. Being hit by the splinters would cause many of the pirates to lose body parts or they would even die. This is what formed the stereotypical image of eyepatches, hooks and peg legs for pirates.

    • @BlockImmigrants
      @BlockImmigrants Před 9 měsíci +4

      And the battles are probably quick as hell with many deaths within the first few minutes of fighting.

    • @wujek7616
      @wujek7616 Před 7 měsíci +3

      @@BlockImmigrants these battles could take hours or even days. Even though splinters were indeed very dangerous for the crew, the ship took barely any damage at all. "like throwing a biscuit" -Francois Massertie 1689

    • @tristo4197
      @tristo4197 Před 6 měsíci

      @@wujek7616who is francois massertie

  • @Zeph0
    @Zeph0 Před 3 lety +32185

    Noticed that "sucked" is past tense and being a pirate today is actually amazing don't listen to him

  • @teagant.v3677
    @teagant.v3677 Před 5 lety +6028

    the first stages of scurvey sounds like a guy going through puberty

    • @milesarroyo8404
      @milesarroyo8404 Před 5 lety +576

      Teagan T.V oh yea I remember being 13 and bleeding from my gums and losing a couple of teeth ‘twas good times

    • @godofguns2434
      @godofguns2434 Před 5 lety +284

      Dying though, that sucked ass.

    • @whyamihere4269
      @whyamihere4269 Před 5 lety +4

      @Eric Lee ?

    • @whyamihere4269
      @whyamihere4269 Před 5 lety +3

      @Eric Lee Uh ok then nvm

    • @user-gx8fw8qr6d
      @user-gx8fw8qr6d Před 5 lety +29

      Miles Arroyo I’m 13 and that’s happening to me right now I just lost another tooth 😔

  • @coyburrows370
    @coyburrows370 Před rokem +485

    Wealth, fame, power. The world had it all won by one man: the Pirate King, Gold Roger. At his death, the words he spoke drove countless men out to sea.

    • @caelanbold3776
      @caelanbold3776 Před rokem +74

      “You want my treasure, you can have it!, I left everything I gathered together in one place. now, you just have to find it”

    • @venusaurmega003
      @venusaurmega003 Před rokem +54

      “And so, men set off to the Grand Line in pursuit of their dreams. The world has truly entered the Great Pirate Era!”
      Sorry if I misremembered anything, I tried quoting it from memory

    • @jeffvalenciano1068
      @jeffvalenciano1068 Před rokem +2

      I miss Sam's videos :(

    • @apersoniguess_
      @apersoniguess_ Před rokem +15

      the one piece, the one piece is real

    • @insertusernamehere8125
      @insertusernamehere8125 Před 11 měsíci +7

      "YOU WANT MY TREASURE? FIND IT! I'VE LEFT IT ALL IN ONE PLACE!!!"

  • @TheImperialEmpire
    @TheImperialEmpire Před rokem +156

    Well, the combat was unlikely, as adapted in "The Invisible Hook", most pirates would use scare tactics to make the imperial ships surrender their treasure, and hide their flag, hide their guns, and show a lot of supplies for greater effect, then when they are at a closer range, they would ask the captain to surrender, and if he didn't a fight would indeed commence, but theres 2 ways you could surrender, 1: The captain surrenders the treasure to the pirate 2: The crew mutiny and has the chance to join the pirates, and you could get vaulable intel from defecters, and that is why combat isn't what you think when you think pirates.

    • @seronymus
      @seronymus Před rokem +4

      If the sailors mutinied would they just stay pirates or get off the last port?

    • @Pacster15
      @Pacster15 Před rokem +7

      @archakon Normally, stay. If they got off to a royal port they would get charged with treason and be executed.

    • @tangytango2749
      @tangytango2749 Před 10 měsíci +1

      @@Pacster15 Not really. Piracy was a legal grey area for much of history.
      Many pirates also worked for the royalty, btw.

    • @NigerianCrusader
      @NigerianCrusader Před 10 měsíci

      @@Pacster15STOP IGNORING ME

    • @X-SPONGED
      @X-SPONGED Před 7 měsíci

      ​@@tangytango2749depends on if you have a contract or not. Legal pirates are privateers. They're reformed and work for either a specific trading company or the navy of a nation.

  • @parkouremaster
    @parkouremaster Před 3 lety +27588

    Being a pirate, is basically being a homeless but in the sea

    • @studentNEET319
      @studentNEET319 Před 3 lety +45

      @@Chichichihuahua wrong time

    • @user-bu6dg2li9r
      @user-bu6dg2li9r Před 3 lety +196

      Aye, the ship is ‘yer home once ‘ye learn the ways of the pirate

    • @DrsJacksonn
      @DrsJacksonn Před 3 lety +205

      + all the disadvantages of being a slave + all the disadvantages of being in prison, but each of those x10.

    • @piretiris8223
      @piretiris8223 Před 3 lety +14

      Sea robbers

    • @DarethLover67
      @DarethLover67 Před 3 lety +4

      oh dang

  • @theJellyjoker
    @theJellyjoker Před 7 lety +1406

    When choosing which piece of weevil infested hardtack, always choose the lesser of two weevils.

    • @joshthecomputertech
      @joshthecomputertech Před 7 lety +10

      THIS.

    • @martincullen438
      @martincullen438 Před 7 lety +19

      Weevil is weevil, lesser, greater, middling - makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary, the definition blurred. If I'm to choose between one weevil and another, I'd rather not choose at all.

    • @wonder_9315
      @wonder_9315 Před 6 lety +15

      Master and commander

    • @rancidhotdogwater1658
      @rancidhotdogwater1658 Před 6 lety +1

      Martin Cullen is that a geralt i smell

    • @devonlinden6041
      @devonlinden6041 Před 6 lety +2

      Jeffery Liggett you are a god.

  • @gingerhoof2157
    @gingerhoof2157 Před rokem +39

    I actually really loved hardtacks when I was a kid. Something about those crunchy plain and hardly salty bread squares spoke to my soul

    • @junismith1791
      @junismith1791 Před 11 měsíci +4

      it’s still a thing???

    • @gingerhoof2157
      @gingerhoof2157 Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@junismith1791 yeah just bought a pack of hardtacks the other day

    • @thepeopleonthecouch2928
      @thepeopleonthecouch2928 Před 9 měsíci

      ​@@junismith1791yeah, though they're packaged to be smaller squares, not huge ones.

    • @junismith1791
      @junismith1791 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@thepeopleonthecouch2928 i can’t imagine the appeal to keep them around this long

    • @Dexuz
      @Dexuz Před měsícem

      I like them too, in my country they sell both salty and saltless ones, which we call "galletas de agua", and I eat them as recurrent snacks; many people think I'm crazy.

  • @timothytosser288
    @timothytosser288 Před rokem +62

    0:27 histrorically pirates did that 💀

    • @Lumppii.
      @Lumppii. Před rokem +4

      How do you know?

    • @Cheeser_
      @Cheeser_ Před rokem +29

      Personal experience

    • @rE8Al
      @rE8Al Před rokem

      @@Cheeser_🤨

    • @tangytango2749
      @tangytango2749 Před 10 měsíci +8

      No actually. Homosexuality in piracy was no more frequent in piracy than it was throughout any point in history. Most pirates were religious, and as such, beat on anyone who participated in such acts.

    • @edude9
      @edude9 Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@tangytango2749lets go!

  • @PolythenePam0451
    @PolythenePam0451 Před 5 lety +3336

    "I might be disturbed, but that's one sickness I could definitely get down with"
    Nice

    • @SealiioNahka
      @SealiioNahka Před 5 lety +2

      I mean... sake and vodka are ok.

    • @VCRK888
      @VCRK888 Před 5 lety +39

      The Film Freaks Holy shit i just got it

    • @aji_jacobson
      @aji_jacobson Před 5 lety +53

      @@SealiioNahka Disturbed is a band and they have a (great) sing titled: Down With the Sickness

    • @abdallanassar9124
      @abdallanassar9124 Před 4 lety +2

      Ahahahahah omg i just got it

    • @shanag.2852
      @shanag.2852 Před 4 lety

      Omg yes

  • @pugfugly1989
    @pugfugly1989 Před 5 lety +15012

    Alcoholism was a method of survival, because liquor was always safe to drink

    • @Puckosar
      @Puckosar Před 5 lety +738

      You don't need much alcohol to keep water safe though. The drinking water was most likely very weakly alcoholic, like a very light beer.

    • @pugfugly1989
      @pugfugly1989 Před 5 lety +348

      @@Puckosar No, you straight up need hard liquors 40% or harder for it to be sterile.

    • @SimplifiedFinanceSiFi
      @SimplifiedFinanceSiFi Před 4 lety +544

      @@pugfugly1989 40% and hard liquor? you better make the full hundred, pussy

    • @Vortex-zb6be
      @Vortex-zb6be Před 4 lety +479

      Simplified Crypto STRAIGHT ETHANOL BITCH

    • @RyuichiNoGekido
      @RyuichiNoGekido Před 4 lety +86

      Too true m8... wait, you meant on a microbial level... not an... emotional... ummm.

  • @Salad-in
    @Salad-in Před rokem +9

    > Dick Rot
    > Jungle Dick Rot
    A fan of the choices, Pirates are.

  • @jamesburk8145
    @jamesburk8145 Před rokem +32

    Not to mention that later in the "golden age of priracy" you could only land at a few select ports (which were far and few between) because if you went to the wrong one (which was most of them) you'd just be hanged on the spot.
    A lot of pirates started out as privateers who were basically civilian sailors like fishermen or merchants specifically contracted by the Crown to raid Spanish vessels until England made them illegal after a truce of sorts was struck with Spain. But a lot didn't get the memo or just wanted to keep raiding because they liked how they could make money in looting the other ships, plus they could resupply stealing the others food and water etc. Eventually gaining infamy also became a draw because it made it easier to get the other ship to surrender rather than have to fight them if the others knew who you were and what you would do. The origins of that kind of piracy is super interesting.

    • @greywolf7577
      @greywolf7577 Před 9 měsíci +2

      How would the ports know who was a pirate and who wasn't?

    • @johnnywakeup5515
      @johnnywakeup5515 Před 5 měsíci +2

      They had stuff like passwords and records of known vetted captains, and if you weren't in the know, you were probably a pirate.

  • @redrix1787
    @redrix1787 Před 4 lety +5239

    It cracks me up how Sam's sense of humor hasn't changed in years.

  • @MugiwaraShay
    @MugiwaraShay Před 3 lety +5367

    so what you’re telling me is there are no rubber people talking skeletons and raccoon dogs? yeah no thanks

    • @nightlymoss1361
      @nightlymoss1361 Před 3 lety +338

      No hot navigators either😔

    • @codycody6634
      @codycody6634 Před 3 lety +309

      No swordsman who have no sense of direction?

    • @nightlymoss1361
      @nightlymoss1361 Před 3 lety +212

      @@codycody6634 no more taekwondo chefs

    • @lucascerri3847
      @lucascerri3847 Před 3 lety +155

      No liars? Oh wait.....

    • @chrise76776
      @chrise76776 Před 3 lety +194

      If there’s no perverted cyborgs who constantly break into a dance routine, I don’t want to be a pirate

  • @hfhxgdytfyguyghfyfhrbt6gxc749

    1:32
    "Oh, you're gluten-free? Sorry, all we have is gluten!"
    -B. Dylan Hollis

  • @youtxbe_r8191
    @youtxbe_r8191 Před rokem +10

    that's not gonna stop me from becoming thE KING OF THE PIRATES

  • @almightylordpitlepen8608
    @almightylordpitlepen8608 Před 3 lety +4295

    That won’t stop me from being king of the pirates

    • @gildeddrake1479
      @gildeddrake1479 Před 3 lety +46

      the salesman saying he'll run the prison

    • @deanrobson6904
      @deanrobson6904 Před 3 lety +174

      Not if I get the one piece first

    • @almightylordpitlepen8608
      @almightylordpitlepen8608 Před 3 lety +57

      @@deanrobson6904 in your dreams

    • @t6hp
      @t6hp Před 3 lety +18

      EHM, it's the pirate king. Not King of, more like a king upon. In other words, become the baddest ass there is that everyone would simply shit themselves just thinking about dueling you, including the government.
      Kind of like Kim Jong-un.

    • @mukelu
      @mukelu Před 3 lety +42

      I am the pirate king, i've pirated many movies and games

  • @traskforge
    @traskforge Před 3 lety +5028

    "Why it Sucked to be a Pirate"
    me, who has the entire SpongeBob SquarePants movie illegally download: It's actually not that bad

    • @Jartran72
      @Jartran72 Před 3 lety +51

      I am sure the pirates did a lot of sucking though. Seeing as they were real close with eatch other :)

    • @trap5449
      @trap5449 Před 3 lety +4

      Which one?

    • @TryPuttingItInRice
      @TryPuttingItInRice Před 3 lety +24

      @@trap5449 the good one

    • @camygael
      @camygael Před 3 lety +36

      *YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR*

    • @Pyraticalpunk
      @Pyraticalpunk Před 3 lety +18

      @@camygael YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A SHIP

  • @williamfalck4882
    @williamfalck4882 Před rokem +25

    A lot of this is true but ona lot of ships you had hammocks which the crew slept in, a lot more ration than just spirits and hardtack and yes, drinkable water was not something you just had on the ship. However, some ships had a "kitchen" oven with a built in boiler which you could boil Sea water in to get clean and drinkable water and despite being pirates, theft on land happened all the time.

    • @greywolf7577
      @greywolf7577 Před 9 měsíci

      If you boiled sea water, you'd have to evaporate it and then have it condense in another container in order to get the salt out. I'm not sure if ships at the time had that type of ability.

  • @alang.bandala8863
    @alang.bandala8863 Před rokem +16

    Fun fact: The character of Jack Sparrow was conceived with at least three different illnesses on him, ranging from heat stroke to a curious little red spot that grows on the side of his lip with each movie. So yes, he is a lucky guy, but he already spent it on something else.

  • @zoomer5700
    @zoomer5700 Před 3 lety +1790

    "why it sucked to be a pirate" coming from a guy who doesn't have a cool ass hook hand

    • @heyimlithuanian1003
      @heyimlithuanian1003 Před 2 lety +33

      was worth it, cut off my hand and replaced it with a clothes hanger

    • @Jonvongagglejack
      @Jonvongagglejack Před 2 lety +12

      @@heyimlithuanian1003 yar har jar ?

    • @BisexualPlagueDoctor
      @BisexualPlagueDoctor Před 2 lety +3

      Imagine trying to reload a flintlock without two hands, or holding anything… sure you can go standby standby and hold big boxes but that’s kinda the only thing more you can do with a hook the without a hand

    • @ImperialRonod
      @ImperialRonod Před 2 lety +8

      @@komorebi3555 I have two hook hands. It's pretty great. Thinking of hook feet next.

    • @rift7609
      @rift7609 Před 2 lety +1

      @@ImperialRonod After: Looks at knive, looks at hook on the table, then replaces head with a ho- *BOW DOWN TO ME MORTALS*

  • @pranav5273
    @pranav5273 Před 3 lety +5228

    2100 kids making videos on "Why it sucked to be a Software Developer"

    • @Siegward37
      @Siegward37 Před 3 lety +136

      It really sucks actually...

    • @arcle3853
      @arcle3853 Před 3 lety +6

      Anyone care to elaborate?

    • @user-sp2yl8gw5c
      @user-sp2yl8gw5c Před 3 lety +44

      @@arcle3853 in short, they didn't have many choices

    • @kevinlewis8420
      @kevinlewis8420 Před 3 lety +70

      If you like coding and work for a decent company, it's a lot of fun.

    • @legendarytat8278
      @legendarytat8278 Před 3 lety +27

      @@kevinlewis8420 Which is not easy.

  • @MesozoicMaiden
    @MesozoicMaiden Před rokem +32

    As a new pirates of the caribbean fan, here's the best part we're all ignoring.
    If you wanted to, you could get some shovels, metal detectors & snack cooler, Gather your friends, dress in matching bandannas, go to the beach in a rowboat and try to find fossils or stuff in the sand with the detector while singing sea shanties. You might not have a black pearl or Flying Dutchman, but it'll be fun! And no one can stop you!

    • @a.c.forever5157
      @a.c.forever5157 Před 10 měsíci +1

      This just sounds pathetic and sad.

    • @caitlinlujan1655
      @caitlinlujan1655 Před 10 měsíci +3

      Sounds like a blast. I'm in!

    • @greywolf7577
      @greywolf7577 Před 9 měsíci

      Fossils wouldn't go off due to a metal detector since they aren't made of metal. You might find some coins, though. Be sure you are on a public beach since the authorities might not take so kindly to it if you choose a private one.

    • @BlockImmigrants
      @BlockImmigrants Před 9 měsíci

      @@a.c.forever5157You don’t need to have your limbs torn off in the middle of nowhere to have some fun.

    • @a.c.forever5157
      @a.c.forever5157 Před 9 měsíci

      @@BlockImmigrants you don’t need to RP as some degen pirate to have fun either.

  • @perfi4333
    @perfi4333 Před rokem +7179

    I am an “I’m not paying for Adobe softwares” pirate.

    • @zhanucong4614
      @zhanucong4614 Před rokem +136

      Actually adobe dosent want you to pay,you learning adobe and maybe start working in industry gives them more profit,that tactic is so effective that in anime industry they are called industry standart

    • @gavinwilson5324
      @gavinwilson5324 Před rokem +39

      @@zhanucong4614 Then why is it so damn expensive?

    • @zhanucong4614
      @zhanucong4614 Před rokem +62

      @@gavinwilson5324 so that company has to pay big sums while newcomer's gett attached trough piracy

    • @liliththefirehawk796
      @liliththefirehawk796 Před rokem +112

      @@zhanucong4614 “adobe doesnt want you to pay” **adobe creative cloud costs $600**

    • @wilh3lmmusic
      @wilh3lmmusic Před rokem +8

      BASED

  • @federalcasemaker
    @federalcasemaker Před 3 lety +9740

    Fun fact: pirates don't even find treasure, they rob ships

    • @euboean3079
      @euboean3079 Před 3 lety +569

      I thought they buried loot they found from ships and towns that they raided so they could go loot more and sometimes pirates would return to those sites that were buried to collect the booty.

    • @viridiantheforest1037
      @viridiantheforest1037 Před 3 lety +288

      @@euboean3079and also probably steal loot some other pirate buried

    • @TahtahmesDiary
      @TahtahmesDiary Před 3 lety +237

      Finding treasure comes when you're trying to steal someone else's loot! Were you not paying attention in pirate school?!

    • @rachdarastrix5251
      @rachdarastrix5251 Před 3 lety +120

      Funny enough most pirates did not burry treasure. They went to the bank.

    • @o.l4890
      @o.l4890 Před 3 lety +114

      Actually archeologists haven't found any pirate treasure till today
      It's mostly a stereotypes based on the book "Treasure Island" by Robert louis Stevenson who also drew the famous treasure map with his father.
      Because if the book was real ,we all know the boi won't survive an hour with any of these crewmates

  • @maizjsj
    @maizjsj Před rokem +3

    Got this in my recommended again. Now that Sam is back, I might as well!

  • @TrulySoviet2436
    @TrulySoviet2436 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Hear no weevil, see no weevil, taste no weevil.

  • @ddootzles
    @ddootzles Před 3 lety +2930

    Don't forget that people still think pirates don't exist anymore. My friend was convinced pirates were a thing of the 1700s

    • @rubylicious977
      @rubylicious977 Před 3 lety +455

      Dudes just got modernised

    • @Nope-en9bo
      @Nope-en9bo Před 3 lety +550

      Tell your friend to drift a ride around Somalia.

    • @bricks99
      @bricks99 Před 3 lety +241

      I know a kid who doesn't think pirates exist. Just as mythical as unicorns to her.

    • @bogi2557
      @bogi2557 Před 3 lety +161

      Yeah, but they don’t really live like this anymore

    • @kennethbryant5819
      @kennethbryant5819 Před 3 lety +37

      Missed Captain Phillips did he? They have guns now.

  • @CommanderCrocky
    @CommanderCrocky Před 4 lety +3408

    You forgot the part where you get killed by a kraken after raiding a skeleton fort

    • @synphilia4776
      @synphilia4776 Před 4 lety +50

      Sea of thieves reference

    • @urbs7466
      @urbs7466 Před 4 lety +8

      Best comment

    • @fumothfan9
      @fumothfan9 Před 3 lety +4

      TF2 reference?

    • @ethanhockley3136
      @ethanhockley3136 Před 3 lety +16

      @@fumothfan9 it's sea of theives

    • @whyme3917
      @whyme3917 Před 3 lety +9

      I read this as: you got killed by a "Karen" which was wired cus I thought Karen's just complained and not killed anyone.

  • @kontrast4361
    @kontrast4361 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Once again I'm rewatching this beautiful collection of videos by Sam and I want more...I need more 😂

  • @codylgarcia
    @codylgarcia Před rokem +7

    I now want to see a realistic pirate movie.

    • @via45
      @via45 Před rokem +1

      ​​@User what did he say that's not true? I've heard all these things he said before, granted he's not painting an accurate picture, he's saying all the bag things if being a pirate , hence the title.

    • @tangytango2749
      @tangytango2749 Před 10 měsíci +2

      @@TheRatsintheWalls Largely inaccurate video actually. The pirate diet was incredibly varied. Half of this video is myths.

  • @OjiSensei
    @OjiSensei Před 3 lety +3812

    Don’t ruin my dreams of becoming Pirate King.

    • @marin4442
      @marin4442 Před 3 lety +101

      Lol u can’t cuz luffy will be pirate king

    • @OjiSensei
      @OjiSensei Před 3 lety +47

      @@marin4442 I’m joyboy wdym lol

    • @guyinarobe228
      @guyinarobe228 Před 3 lety +4

      I think I'm fine with just being a lord personally.

    • @axelpepen2642
      @axelpepen2642 Před 3 lety +13

      I Will be The sniper in your ship.

    • @guyinarobe228
      @guyinarobe228 Před 3 lety +7

      @@axelpepen2642 good luck finding an accurate rifle

  • @knko7158
    @knko7158 Před 3 lety +2202

    I was not convinced until I saw “Dick Rot” disease. Ok I don’t want to be a pirate anymore..

    • @KinglyOle
      @KinglyOle Před 3 lety +78

      One Piece is proof that being a pirate is fun

    • @FlexBeanbag
      @FlexBeanbag Před 3 lety +1

      @@KinglyOle czcams.com/video/Bmc9NFfhx74/video.html

    • @FlexBeanbag
      @FlexBeanbag Před 3 lety +3

      czcams.com/video/Bmc9NFfhx74/video.html

    • @Sentient_Blob
      @Sentient_Blob Před 3 lety +97

      There’s an actual disease called crotch rot, which is just athletes foot but on your balls and dick. I’m pretty sure the pirates actually had to deal with it

    • @lobeliaowl2482
      @lobeliaowl2482 Před 3 lety +48

      @@Sentient_Blob So, mother nature is into cbt?

  • @Fezezen
    @Fezezen Před 9 měsíci +22

    This video basically describes what it was like to be a sailor in general. Pirates were willing to do all of this because they could make a ton of money, whereas normal sailors made basically no money.
    Also most pirate ships operated on democracy rather than the typical navy hierarchy and harsh punishment

  • @Rev_Oir
    @Rev_Oir Před rokem +12

    "Most Horrible Diseases" is a rich subject, with entire books devoted to some of the more horrifying, like "RABID" about the many manifestations of rabies, which may be the source for the Native American "Windigo" shape-shifting super strong cannibal legends.
    Porphyria's another one, may be why we have vampire myths in Transylvania, where the genetic disease presents in varying levels, from crooked teeth and a tendency to sunburn, all the way up to snaggle toothed hideously burned and rotting cannibals hiding from the sun in crypts, wating for nightfall to replace body fluids lost from all those horrible burns with good old people juice.
    Or how about the 1784 eruption of Eyafjallajokull, which caused global cooling, mass starvation, the French Revolution, AND the most horrific volcano zombieism, due to fluoride nuking your brains, so that even HORSES were eating each other.
    WHILE THEY WERE STILL ALIVE.
    WITH FLESH ROTTING OFF THEM IN STRIPS.
    ZOMBIE HORSES, MAN.
    Along with 17 months of nonstop eruption, rivers and lakes of lava, and a heroic priest who documented the gruesome, "End of Days" spectacle in harrowing detail.
    Fucking epic, real-life horror.

    • @plant7371
      @plant7371 Před 9 měsíci +1

      I didn't realize that was what inspired those myths! That's sick in more ways than one.

  • @mecoder9910
    @mecoder9910 Před 3 lety +7339

    Edited Fun fact: Pirates made grog because the lime in it has vitamin c a vitamin that helps prevent scurvy a not so fun disease. They could have just brought a bunch of limes on ship but the fruit would have gone bad in a few days and putting lime juice in their watery diluted alcohol made it last a lot longer, taste a bit better and helped prevent scurvy. Also pirates are people too.
    Edit: Thank you for the likes and pointing out everything historically inaccurate with my comment. And if there are any other historical inaccuracies please mention them.

    • @xquo2714
      @xquo2714 Před 3 lety +335

      @Bryce citrus gives the proper nutrients

    • @Clayton-Bigsby966
      @Clayton-Bigsby966 Před 3 lety +78

      People and pirates?lol

    • @xquo2714
      @xquo2714 Před 3 lety +159

      @Bryce still not nearly as bad as if they had scurvy

    • @trapadvisor
      @trapadvisor Před 3 lety +52

      @Bryce why are you lecturing like all the people reading this are pirates. Also I don’t think they would’ve cared about the quality of their teeth and who tf drinks tap water I’ve been poor but I’ve never sunk that low

    • @livesakimbo
      @livesakimbo Před 3 lety +20

      @Bryce they were talking about pirates

  • @birk3947
    @birk3947 Před 3 lety +5145

    “A man’s dream will never die”
    ~Marshall D. Teach

    • @jobliar937
      @jobliar937 Před 3 lety +48

      fuck that guy tho for real

    • @hewhoyeet4953
      @hewhoyeet4953 Před 3 lety +19

      This sounds too necrophiliac

    • @grantorino2325
      @grantorino2325 Před 2 lety +52

      Was he related to Edward Teach (A.K.A. *Blackbeard* )?

    • @birk3947
      @birk3947 Před 2 lety +106

      @@grantorino2325 i prefer heavily inspired

    • @aegonitargaryen8452
      @aegonitargaryen8452 Před 2 lety +96

      @@grantorino2325 It’s about the anime “One Piece”.
      The real life pirate was Edward Teach. In the anime, he inspired two pirates Edward “Whitebeard” Newgate and Marshall D. Teach aka “Blackbeard”. While Whitebeard has his personality and I don’t know how to put it- maybe the word aura, the anime Blackbeard got his savagery and cunningness of a pirate from the actual Blackbeard. The anime Blackbeard said this quote. Hope this help.

  • @michaelmehserdjian9644
    @michaelmehserdjian9644 Před rokem +4

    Easy solution: use your eternal log pose to travel to the closest island to find a dinosaur to eat. Duh

  • @Coeus9048
    @Coeus9048 Před rokem +7

    One Piece lied to me

  • @abyssGazerTV
    @abyssGazerTV Před 3 lety +14952

    Implying that legal ships weren’t this shitty. Sea travel back in the day just sucked in general.

    • @tacosmexicanstyle7846
      @tacosmexicanstyle7846 Před 3 lety +419

      Yeah I don’t think the person who made this video is really comparing like for like here. There’s a lot of presentism going on. Yes, life sucked everywhere no matter what you were doing. Legal ships were even worse than pirate ships imo because sailors had no individual rights, merely a wage but not ownership in the venture, they would also get scurvy and die in battle. They also didn’t get any say in the running of the ship. Idk in what way this video thinks it’s making its point about pirate life sucking

    • @bluntcabbage6042
      @bluntcabbage6042 Před 3 lety +616

      Pirates moreso.
      - They would be turned away from any port that wasn't a free port.
      - They would be ruthlessly hunted by the most powerful navies on the planet.
      - Since pirate culture was lawless, said free ports were rarely safe and one always had to keep looking over their shoulder to avoid being stabbed or shot or robbed.
      Same with any life of crime, it's going to be harder than if one decided to remain within the bounds of the law.

    • @abyssGazerTV
      @abyssGazerTV Před 3 lety +61

      @Luck Genuine Lightning I hope you understand that the word “implying” can be used in a normal, non-greentext sentence.

    • @owenb8636
      @owenb8636 Před 3 lety +219

      Yeah that's true but no one's exactly idolizing being a crewmate on one of his majesty's fine floating dungeons in the same way as buccaneering

    • @yetanother9127
      @yetanother9127 Před 3 lety +128

      @@bluntcabbage6042 Law-abiding sailors weren't much better off. They could make port in more places, sure, but those places could be just as violent at times, and common sailors made even less money than pirates and thus couldn't really enjoy their shore leave anyway. (If they even _got_ shore leave; many navy sailors were conscripts known as "pressed men" who were functionally slaves and were sometimes even chained to the ship to prevent them from escaping while in port.)
      For all the violence and misery of the pirate's life, at least they made good money (relatively speaking), they generally had a say in how their ships were run, and they could usually leave whenever they wanted without being pursued. None of these were true for law-abiding sailors. For those with a high tolerance for adversity, the potential benefits of piracy could easily outweigh the downsides; it was not an easy life, certainly, but it was potentially a profitable one.
      (Also, sailors of all kinds generally got more and better food than this video implies; one surviving Royal Navy ration specifies 7 lb hardtack, 4 lb salt beef, 2 lb salt pork , 2 pt peas, 1.5 pt oatmeal, 6 oz sugar, 6 oz butter, 12 oz cheese, and 7 gal beer, _per sailor per week._ Yes, each man was issued a gallon of beer a day. Pirates generally ate a bit worse, but not by that much depending on how successful they'd been recently; much of the "booty" pirates plundered from their victims consisted of food and other supplies, rather than gold or jewels.)

  • @felphero
    @felphero Před 2 lety +7469

    Losing eyes and limbs was also extremely common, thus the famous hook-hand,wooden leg and pirate eye-patch steriotypes

    • @karaltar7914
      @karaltar7914 Před 2 lety

      Not to mention you wouldn’t even look cool you would just look like some hobbo who got attacked by rats and didn’t have stuff to bandage the wounds

    • @bigdaddyuwu6587
      @bigdaddyuwu6587 Před rokem +52

      god why everyone in this comment section such a boomer

    • @JobiWan144
      @JobiWan144 Před rokem +658

      The eye patch isn't about losing eyes though. Seamen with two working eyes would wear eye patches so that one eye would be adjusted to the daylight above deck while the other eye would be immediately adjusted to the near-total darkness below deck.

    • @alliexcx5576
      @alliexcx5576 Před rokem +15

      Interesting!

    • @alliexcx5576
      @alliexcx5576 Před rokem +6

      @Big Daddy Uwu Im gen z

  • @onlyremedy29
    @onlyremedy29 Před 6 měsíci +1

    I genuinely lol while I watch your videos. My only wish is that the were longer.
    My good friend, keep up the good work 👏🏾✨

  • @flip_soorginal6910
    @flip_soorginal6910 Před 7 měsíci +1

    The cocksuckling pirate got me in the floor💀💀💀💀
    Bros drawing is better than my entire life……

  • @nightangelx1513
    @nightangelx1513 Před 3 lety +9257

    “I must be disturbed, but that’s one sickness I can get down with.” That was really good

  • @varietywiarrior
    @varietywiarrior Před 5 lety +1830

    The food mentioned was just the travel rations. If they were at sea toolong, yeah, the for sure ate like shit. But you've gotta remember that they usually ended up looting spices and stuff. It's been documented that pirates often ate better than navy sailors.

  • @jornadaepica70
    @jornadaepica70 Před rokem +1

    That disturbed down with the sicknes got you another sub mate

  • @amandahugankiss4110
    @amandahugankiss4110 Před 9 měsíci +1

    That wife's face is so fucking funny.
    That whole corn-shuckling bit made me piss.
    Thank you.

  • @lexithepitbill1154
    @lexithepitbill1154 Před 4 lety +646

    Scurvy is much more terrifying than I thought it was

    • @graylindblad1261
      @graylindblad1261 Před 4 lety +27

      AVAST YE SCURVY DOG!! Sir... captain... WHAT!!?! My gums are bleeding.
      No body cares!!
      And then crew die

    • @tenacity2633
      @tenacity2633 Před 4 lety +3

      @PessiOpt 9 !
      One piece?

    • @georgy2596
      @georgy2596 Před 4 lety +11

      Now the we got scurvy song from sponge bob is terrifying

    • @MySerpentine
      @MySerpentine Před 4 lety +27

      It also makes every wound you've ever had come back, because all your scar tissue dissolves!

    • @assassinmanx6128
      @assassinmanx6128 Před 3 lety +2

      Well supposedly real rum back then was pure fruit? So they should of gotten vitamin C from oranges/apples etc. If anything STDs killed their ass quicker. Then island hopped and rapped women and prostitutes 100% unprotected so after months/years of that with no cleansing? Yea their dicks fell off or they died slowly. Jus a thesis lol.

  • @sweetchilli1261
    @sweetchilli1261 Před 4 lety +5277

    Just do it like in One Piece

  • @eduardopuchalski269
    @eduardopuchalski269 Před rokem

    I have watched this video about 100 times and I'm addicted to the hey little jimmy quote

  • @josesaldana2624
    @josesaldana2624 Před měsícem +1

    Window open, lamp on, coffee in hand, and samonela on the screen. Perfect

  • @ylop1746
    @ylop1746 Před 3 lety +5879

    dude is just trying to ruin our dreams of finding the One Piece so that he can find it for himself and become pirate king

    • @richraichu1370
      @richraichu1370 Před 3 lety +150

      no hes with the world govt

    • @ilariaf6260
      @ilariaf6260 Před 3 lety +145

      maybe thats why he disappeared, he's actually busy looking for the one piece rn

    • @TornadoZX825
      @TornadoZX825 Před 3 lety +19

      He's not wrong, hardtack sucks and I always get the ones with weevils in them

    • @rimjhimdhusiya699
      @rimjhimdhusiya699 Před 3 lety +4

      My like made your number of likes 666 * que evil laughter *

    • @richraichu1370
      @richraichu1370 Před 3 lety +3

      @@rimjhimdhusiya699 and mine made it 667 *evil_er laughter*

  • @lolktoskol4744
    @lolktoskol4744 Před 3 lety +2636

    "...pirate ships typically packed in as many crew members as possible..."
    Meanwhile, in Sea of Thieves: (4 people on a galleon is a fully operational crew)

    • @Drums_of_Liberation
      @Drums_of_Liberation Před 3 lety +46

      In an empty sea of an empty game no one plays of course 4 people is a fully operational crew.

    • @nachox28x28
      @nachox28x28 Před 3 lety +8

      *laughs in shrouded ghost*

    • @nikitasidoryuk852
      @nikitasidoryuk852 Před 3 lety +14

      @@Drums_of_Liberation this bro. Game is good but needs more action. They got to make it feel smooth like cod. Cod mw has really good movement and interface ui, whereas sea of thrives is shit bro. On controller it's so hard to aim, no aim assist and shitty ui. If they just made the combat a little bit more fucking intuitive then people would be playing it more. More people, more comp, better game. It's just not that fun to play. And all you earn are cosmetics. Oh look at me bro I'm a pirate legend. Who gives bro, game is shit

    • @inolongerusethisaccount4004
      @inolongerusethisaccount4004 Před 3 lety +2

      I tried playing sea of thieves it was boring no clear objective empty seas 0 players on my crew cause my friends don't even play it I dont even know what to do and I rarely find anyone

    • @brianasarmiento3425
      @brianasarmiento3425 Před 3 lety +1

      I read your comment as soon as he said that lone

  • @swagzagoon2596
    @swagzagoon2596 Před měsícem

    Sam: "Hey little Jimmy."
    Jimmy: (speedruns puberty in a span of 3 seconds) *"Yeah what's up?"*

  • @lilyfurley9833
    @lilyfurley9833 Před 3 měsíci +1

    That intro will never not be funny

  • @Lymbo88
    @Lymbo88 Před 2 lety +12466

    Not to mention (something you don't see in most pirate movies) splinters. In those sea battles, the ships are made out of mostly wood. In the movies, you see cannons blowing up parts of a ship while the crew run around panicked. You don't see people getting their faces shredded to paste when a cannon hits too close and sends thousands of pieces of sharp wood flying at them.
    Also drowning. People drowning all the time. Being stuck inside a capsizing ship, or being nowhere near land when the ship goes down... Lots of bodies down there. Hard to swim 100's of miles when your leg just got blown off.
    Infections, too. Barely any medical supplies. If you're lucky, there MIGHT be a doctor on board, but he's not gonna be able to do much besides bandage you.
    Yo ho yo ho

    • @RougeDragon-sp2pd
      @RougeDragon-sp2pd Před 2 lety +443

      You will never kill my dreams I will be a pirate if its the last thing I do

    • @m1k3l1f3
      @m1k3l1f3 Před 2 lety +236

      Well....at least their flags were cool

    • @darkhero4504
      @darkhero4504 Před 2 lety

      May i See your pantsu
      Yo ho Ho Ho

    • @DictatorAtWill
      @DictatorAtWill Před 2 lety +195

      There's a scene in Master and Commander where one of the younger officers gets hit by a rather large splinter. It gets infected, and the doctor needs to amputate the kid's arm. No painkillers, no precise medical equipment, just some restraints to keep him from flailing around and a strap of leather to keep him from biting his own tongue off.

    • @JacViramuerte
      @JacViramuerte Před 2 lety +25

      @@DictatorAtWill was about to comment about this scene too haha, love that film!

  • @eldestboat0159
    @eldestboat0159 Před 4 lety +1624

    *Monkey D. Luffy has left the chat*

    • @mechawolf165
      @mechawolf165 Před 3 lety +67

      He fell asleep after the intro

    • @orang9407
      @orang9407 Před 3 lety +17

      Marines have entered the chat

    • @Naija_Ninja
      @Naija_Ninja Před 3 lety +24

      *Pirate hunter Zoro joined the chat*
      "Oi, where did those idiots wander off to? Isn't this the straw hat crew chat?"

    • @Avarice297
      @Avarice297 Před 3 lety +9

      Luckily Franky made the Thousand Sunny so those issues are negated.

    • @iagreewithyou20yearsago95
      @iagreewithyou20yearsago95 Před 3 lety +9

      Thousand Sunny is kinda a yacht so they're fine

  • @theghostcreator776
    @theghostcreator776 Před rokem +2

    The third episode of the CGP grey pirate series

  • @DZC-bc2ol
    @DZC-bc2ol Před 25 dny +1

    We ain't finding one piece with this one 🗣️🗣️🗣️

  • @spyjonsachurin2101
    @spyjonsachurin2101 Před 5 lety +2341

    I love the description of below deck.

    • @HoneydewBeach
      @HoneydewBeach Před 5 lety +4

      they should remake it to be historically accurate

    • @HoneydewBeach
      @HoneydewBeach Před 5 lety +4

      wait are you talking about the show or actually below the deck

    • @akosacs01
      @akosacs01 Před 5 lety +24

      @@HoneydewBeach That took you 1 week to figure out?

    • @HoneydewBeach
      @HoneydewBeach Před 5 lety +1

      ​@@akosacs01
      I need clarification. You were referring to the show, right?

    • @gdolphinz7486
      @gdolphinz7486 Před 5 lety +19

      “You feel something furry brush against you and it’s either the body of a diseased rat or the beard of your diseased crewmate, either way, it’s probably where the piss came from”

  • @catattack9575
    @catattack9575 Před 4 lety +5301

    Not gonna lie, your description of scurvy just sounds like puberty.
    Tired at all times
    Covered in weird spots
    Death
    It's all covered. Exact same thing.

  • @RoseGold_v1
    @RoseGold_v1 Před 7 měsíci

    I always love going back to this guy ❤

  • @chasjetty8729
    @chasjetty8729 Před rokem

    Thank you for coming back.

  • @zomb_rei
    @zomb_rei Před rokem +5

    being a pirate is so fun now, i can play any 3ds game i want free of charge

  • @ibuzz2544
    @ibuzz2544 Před 3 lety +1512

    Are we gonna pretend we didn’t see the last four types of diseases....

    • @alamo0243
      @alamo0243 Před 3 lety +148

      D I C K R O T

    • @charliegarrison9688
      @charliegarrison9688 Před 3 lety +88

      Rotting dick jungles sounds bad 👎

    • @youngveggies6558
      @youngveggies6558 Před 3 lety +72

      The pirates would get down and dirty a *lot*
      and they weren't close-minded if you catch my drift.

    • @scl1332
      @scl1332 Před 3 lety +40

      J U N G L E D I C K R O T

    • @DarethLover67
      @DarethLover67 Před 3 lety +4

      I was waiting for this comment

  • @TheRealW.S.Foster
    @TheRealW.S.Foster Před 3 lety +5050

    He forgot to add that there's a 50/50 chance you'll eat a questionable piece of fruit, gain a power from it that varies from godly to stupid and not be able to swim anymore after eating it.

    • @spindash64
      @spindash64 Před 3 lety +277

      Most pirates can’t swim anyway, so whatever

    • @funkytime69
      @funkytime69 Před 2 lety +94

      So, drugs

    • @Zinfiny
      @Zinfiny Před 2 lety +76

      @@funkytime69 no fruit

    • @user-sx8lj9xe1y
      @user-sx8lj9xe1y Před 2 lety +8

      It be great if reality was like that but then deal with pirates that are probably assholes

    • @CeshBundicoot
      @CeshBundicoot Před 2 lety +55

      chefs kiss reference

  • @apackalu2718
    @apackalu2718 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Nothing will stop me FROM BEING KING OF THE PIRATES.

  • @tigerazoz2910
    @tigerazoz2910 Před rokem +3

    the one piece is real white beard said it him self time to be a pirate

  • @seabe2345
    @seabe2345 Před 7 lety +1703

    How tf are you not more popular?

  • @tardarsauce1842
    @tardarsauce1842 Před 3 lety +1950

    Pirates in cartoons: cheerful and loves the power of friendship
    Pirates in real life:

  • @davinci7172
    @davinci7172 Před rokem +2

    Man..we miss you...

  • @dustinwheelerq
    @dustinwheelerq Před rokem

    So glad I found this channel

  • @DeckofLies
    @DeckofLies Před 4 lety +2401

    I’m disturbed that I didn’t find any comments about his down with the sickness pun

    • @mediocrebeverage3619
      @mediocrebeverage3619 Před 4 lety +29

      I know, I've been searching a comment about it for almost 5 minutes and nothing

    • @danielnilsen8065
      @danielnilsen8065 Před 4 lety +46

      Are you Stricken with sadness though? I don't think that it would help to Open Your Eyes and search any more, so you may never see The Light :/

    • @BunsenMusic
      @BunsenMusic Před 4 lety +4

      Because it's a dead joke

    • @RicardoMilos-fj6gg
      @RicardoMilos-fj6gg Před 4 lety +4

      Ik i was trying to find a comment like that

    • @Tekkwin
      @Tekkwin Před 4 lety +13

      im stricken because no one is pointing it out

  • @koji2107
    @koji2107 Před 3 lety +2895

    Title: “why it sucked to be a pirate”
    One piece fans: *”haha pirate king go brrr”*

    • @Brigadium75
      @Brigadium75 Před 3 lety +22

      Kids:Pirate is fun.They have cannon and the eye patches
      Me: * IMAGINE MYSELF AS A WAR COMMANDER * oh you dare challenging me
      Edit:This is my childhood

    • @Brigadium75
      @Brigadium75 Před 3 lety +3

      Pirate sucks
      Those Internet Pirate:HAHAHAHAHAHAH

    • @mustang8206
      @mustang8206 Před 3 lety +3

      Reddit Moment 🤢

    • @txkyo4823
      @txkyo4823 Před 3 lety +29

      @@mustang8206 car pfp moment 🤢

    • @5uperM
      @5uperM Před 3 lety +3

      It sucked to be Ace.

  • @nonnodacciaio704
    @nonnodacciaio704 Před 7 měsíci

    I regularly come back to this video just to watch the intro

  • @justicebeske5704
    @justicebeske5704 Před rokem +1

    Thanks for the advice on accuracy, I now know what to bring to my little cousin’s pirate themed birthday party. No need for a cake, cute a giant plate of nothing but hardtack

  • @marcelj6979
    @marcelj6979 Před 4 lety +1664

    "Pirates never take other people's property"
    Isn't that the freaking point

    • @scumbagbenis8762
      @scumbagbenis8762 Před 4 lety +11

      What

    • @astronautindisguise
      @astronautindisguise Před 4 lety +159

      slit fidget spinner dab bod mod an old Disney show had some kid pirates who made a “code of pirates” and one of the rules was “A pirate never takes other people’s property”

    • @scumbagbenis8762
      @scumbagbenis8762 Před 4 lety +33

      @@astronautindisguise okay well that was a retarded and out of nowhere comment to make as if i would know what it would mean

    • @cristhianramirez6939
      @cristhianramirez6939 Před 4 lety +79

      @@scumbagbenis8762 The comment wasn't directed at you specifically. Get out off here

    • @okokisafuckingloser6298
      @okokisafuckingloser6298 Před 4 lety +14

      God that show was horrible

  • @JustinY.
    @JustinY. Před 6 lety +24417

    Thanks for debunking one piece

    • @Marixchatt
      @Marixchatt Před 6 lety +253

      Yeah I saw you actully comment on a comment :(

    • @boimann7583
      @boimann7583 Před 6 lety +281

      Justin Y. Burn in hell

    • @jemswhy7382
      @jemswhy7382 Před 6 lety +70

      Rip justin

    • @raviloli6811
      @raviloli6811 Před 6 lety +251

      HOW HOW HOW HOW YOU FCKING DEMON. GODDAMN EVERYWHERE.

    • @lutemis3119
      @lutemis3119 Před 6 lety +51

      Maybe its a bot?

  • @johndelanie3649
    @johndelanie3649 Před rokem +4

    I know this is a wild concept for most people but any time period before this one was way worse to live in and you would not have survived past 30

  • @fxmorin439
    @fxmorin439 Před rokem +1

    Sucked so much that their was plenty of pirates and thete's still pirates today.

  • @hardxzun
    @hardxzun Před 3 lety +1543

    beer was actually healthier than water because water conditions that time sucked and you need to heat the water for beer

    • @bobmcbob49
      @bobmcbob49 Před 3 lety +32

      which is why militaries regularly marched with beer or wine

    • @saltysoysauce954
      @saltysoysauce954 Před 3 lety +15

      I don't think the heat killed bacteria, I think it was the alcohol

    • @hardxzun
      @hardxzun Před 3 lety +44

      @@saltysoysauce954 Both, boiling water at 65°C or 149°F kill bacteria.

    • @saltysoysauce954
      @saltysoysauce954 Před 3 lety +21

      @@hardxzun That aint boiling but I get what you mean

    • @haydeen6535
      @haydeen6535 Před 3 lety +14

      This is actually not true. DRINKING water conditions at this time were absolutely fine. It’s just all the other water that was all fucked up, but they didn’t drink that water

  • @andrewmg5915
    @andrewmg5915 Před 4 lety +1292

    When I was a kid I liked pirates a lot until I came across an historical book and read the story of a pirate named L' Olonnais. The book described detailedly how he was fooled by a tribe who got him drunk, then he was tortured and then dimembered, possibly partially eaten too. Not so much fun after all.

    • @__-yz1ob
      @__-yz1ob Před 3 lety +141

      You sure read some interesting books as a child

    • @VibrationCrystals
      @VibrationCrystals Před 3 lety +21

      That’s brutal! How old were you when you read this?

    • @justsomeunicornwithinterne6490
      @justsomeunicornwithinterne6490 Před 3 lety +40

      Reminds me of the time I got a hold of some old history books at 9. Very graphic pictures. I’ve changed immensely since that incident.

    • @misscath28
      @misscath28 Před 3 lety +13

      I love animals and I own a rabbit
      Anyway since I learned my dad hunted rabbits I now know why I constantly like hugging bunnies
      *cause I don't want them to run away and get hunted*

    • @i_teleported_bread7404
      @i_teleported_bread7404 Před 3 lety +13

      That's barbaric! You got a spare copy?

  • @fall3n245
    @fall3n245 Před rokem +1

    The opening dialogue kills me. First and favorite Sam o nella video

  • @zikjleiv5877
    @zikjleiv5877 Před rokem

    6 year anniversary Sam. What a landmark