How to be a Pirate Captain! 🌈 ☠️ 🌈

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  • čas přidán 29. 05. 2020
  • ‣ Adapted largely from The Invisible Hook. It's great, go read it: www.amazon.com/Invisible-Hook...
    ‣ Grey's 2-hour Director's Commentary: • Behind the Scenes of P...
    Special Thanks
    Peter T. Leeson for reviewing a draft of the script. Check out his newest book, "WTF?!: An Economic Tour of the Weird": amzn.to/3eEMm09
    Crowdfunders
    Steven Snow, Bob Kunz, John Buchan, Nevin Spoljaric, Donal Botkin, BN-12, Chris Chapin, Richard Jenkins, Phil Gardner, Martin, سليمان العقل, Steven Grimm, Colin Millions, Saki Comandao, Jason Lewandowski, Andrea Di Biagio, David F Watson, Ben Schwab, Elliot Lepley, rictic, Bobby, Marco Arment, Shallon Brown, Shantanu Raj, emptymachine, George Lin, Henry Ng, Jeffrey Podis, Thunda Plum, Awoo, David Tyler, Derek Bonner, Derek Jackson, Fuesu, iulus, Jordan Earls, Joshua Jamison, Mikko, Nick Fish, Nick Gibson, Orbit_Junkie, Ron Bowes, Tómas Árni Jónasson, Tyler Bryant, Zach Whittle, Oliver Steele, Kermit Norlund, Kevin Costello, Ben Delo, Arctic May, Bear, chrysilis, David Palomares, Emil, Erik Parasiuk, Esteban Santana Santana, Freddi Hørlyck, Frederick The Great, John Rogers, ken mcfarlane, Leon, Maarten van der Blij, Peter Lomax, Rhys Parry, ShiroiYami, Tijmen van Dien, Tristan Watts-Willis, Veronica Peshterianu, Dag Viggo Lokøen, John Lee, Maxime Zielony, Bryan McLemore, Elizabeth Keathley, Alex Simonides, Felix Weis, Melvin Sowah, Giulio Bontadini, Paul Alom, Ryan Tripicchio, Scot Melville
    Music
    David Rees: www.davidreesmusic.com

Komentáře • 7K

  • @amateraceon5202
    @amateraceon5202 Před 4 lety +5117

    “Booty be licious”
    - CGP Grey, 2020

  • @superfluous9726
    @superfluous9726 Před 4 lety +6696

    "In the last and longest moments of your life.... *b0op* "

  • @aidanking6801
    @aidanking6801 Před 2 lety +8475

    There should’ve been a “Monarch’s version” that is just the empire talking about all the downsides of being a pirate

  • @CGPGrey
    @CGPGrey  Před 2 lety +9101

  • @janehates
    @janehates Před 4 lety +14621

    The way you say “fake guns don’t shoot, now do they?” Was beautiful

    • @mazzalnx
      @mazzalnx Před 4 lety +661

      The slap on the back nearly killed me. Such perfect delivery.

    • @Wolforce
      @Wolforce Před 4 lety +169

      It was, indeed, perfect.

    • @swamppass
      @swamppass Před 4 lety +201

      It was very Flapjack-esque and I loved it

    • @joshuazhong2520
      @joshuazhong2520 Před 4 lety +225

      1:30

    • @zawsrdtygbhjimokpl6998
      @zawsrdtygbhjimokpl6998 Před 4 lety +67

      @@joshuazhong2520 thanks, for me and a few others, your time stamp saved a few seconds each, perhaps even 10

  • @jeffersonfan393
    @jeffersonfan393 Před 4 lety +9012

    I’m stuck in an infinite loop between the captains version and quartermasters version help.

  • @bigmeek4705
    @bigmeek4705 Před 3 lety +3435

    The little "Yarr" of the captian defending his canvas gets me every time. Just like "Hey bro, that aint cool".

  • @jadenborowsky5584
    @jadenborowsky5584 Před 2 lety +2206

    The fact that the captain’s voice is muffled while he’s in the barrel at 0:45 is amazing

    • @generalkermit6421
      @generalkermit6421 Před 2 lety +11

      yeah

    • @nerd_nato564
      @nerd_nato564 Před rokem +71

      I know it's either an editing trick or just his hand, but I'd like to imagine Grey just popping out of the barrel in whatever room he records these in.

  • @midievalcat7770
    @midievalcat7770 Před 4 lety +4160

    How to be a pirate
    Normal person: steal stuff from other ships
    Grey: B R A N D I N G

    • @gingerinajacket8519
      @gingerinajacket8519 Před 4 lety +38

      I mean one of those, according to Grey, leads to the other in 4/5 scenarios. The weight those scenarios are in question, maybe you are confident that you can take on the pirates because you have more real guns, maybe you are looking at the first chance to jump ship to join the pirates. Maybe you are delusional enough to fight more often than surrender when you have a weaker crew.

    • @ahmedamine24
      @ahmedamine24 Před 4 lety +5

      @@gingerinajacket8519 I wonder how many fake guns the pirates had.

    • @kingturboturtlednoc5722
      @kingturboturtlednoc5722 Před 4 lety +18

      @@ahmedamine24 probably a lot, after all the scarier they look the more likely enemies are to surrender, and enemies won't think they're fake since, why hide fake guns?

    • @deanspanos8210
      @deanspanos8210 Před 4 lety +5

      I tried to sail the high seas....brought my BitTorrent, eye patch and 🦜 too. The Somalians did not take too kindly.

    • @yassinzakar
      @yassinzakar Před 4 lety +16

      ​Pirates wouldn't also be stupid to try to pick up a fight with military ship and etc. They probably used also the camouflage to check on the target ship.

  • @mujdaameen4609
    @mujdaameen4609 Před 3 lety +7894

    3:29
    "That captain is a fool
    and probably cruel
    treating his men like mule
    while admiring a jewel
    the whole crew sick of his rule!"
    Captain: Dude, Uncool

  • @suz5191
    @suz5191 Před 3 lety +1098

    Grey's subtle voice acting in these videos is GOLDEN

    • @lseangaming4137
      @lseangaming4137 Před 2 lety +2

      subtle?

    • @suz5191
      @suz5191 Před 2 lety +35

      @@lseangaming4137 I say subtle cause it's still very clearly his own voice, he's not really changing it all that much but he's adding just enough to give the different characters, well, character

  • @grenademann4022
    @grenademann4022 Před 3 lety +1386

    Interviewer: So why did you choose to be a pirate?
    Me: The captain called me his boy

  • @telodxpd
    @telodxpd Před 3 lety +14042

    This captain sounds like one of those villains you generally cheer for in movies.

    • @minorcomet282
      @minorcomet282 Před 2 lety +701

      He seems happy, but he knows the dangers of Piratehood. Ironically, this is in-line with his motivation of "Branding". He seems happy, but this is an illusion. Only because he wants his "customers" to not fight.

    • @SamJD1976
      @SamJD1976 Před 2 lety +48

      Exactly

    • @Syllencecraft
      @Syllencecraft Před 2 lety +30

      Hades.

    • @minorcomet282
      @minorcomet282 Před 2 lety +10

      @@Syllencecraft hAIDS

    • @gregs1245
      @gregs1245 Před 2 lety +14

      Branding

  • @abc-oq7dt
    @abc-oq7dt Před 4 lety +6366

    "But fake guns don't shoot now, do they?" Is my favourite bit

  • @devilsadvocate.
    @devilsadvocate. Před 2 lety +970

    I love how Jolly and slightly psychotic this captian character you've created is. He's so passively happy about the atrocities he has commited.

  • @sasirekha319
    @sasirekha319 Před 3 lety +502

    "A court of the captain where his crew can complain." Followed by, "...corrodes a captain's confidence in command. Given the crew's critique of his conduct could conclude his career." Jeez the amount of alliteration and the fact that it is by design makes me want to draw a parallel between V from V for Vendetta and C from CGP Grey. Pretty impressive!!

  • @AnimeFan-wd5pq
    @AnimeFan-wd5pq Před 4 lety +8321

    CGP grey: talks about theft and slowly torturing people to death
    Also CGP grey: *BRANDING*

    • @blackjack7654
      @blackjack7654 Před 4 lety +197

      The only thing more sinister than a pirate is a marketer

    • @dwightwilliams5892
      @dwightwilliams5892 Před 4 lety +93

      @@blackjack7654 "Marketeering!:

    • @VodShod
      @VodShod Před 4 lety +63

      @@blackjack7654 aye! all fear ye marketeer.

    • @ericc9321
      @ericc9321 Před 4 lety +35

      National conversation: Talking about looting
      CGP: [pirate shanties intensify]

    • @j-dog7767
      @j-dog7767 Před 4 lety +3

      Jesus that’s a lot of likes in half an hour

  • @agentb42
    @agentb42 Před 4 lety +8181

    How is Grey doing?
    Grey: *Posts 4 videos in 2 months*
    I guess he's doing pretty well

    • @TS-jm7jm
      @TS-jm7jm Před 4 lety +125

      arguably he's not feeling well

    • @karmaplant1801
      @karmaplant1801 Před 4 lety +105

      Listening to Cortex like: How are you doing Grey?
      "I am actually doing GREAT!!!"

    • @MyLittleMagneton
      @MyLittleMagneton Před 4 lety +11

      ~ 2 proper videos

    • @sofuswurtz5951
      @sofuswurtz5951 Před 4 lety +5

      Corona?

    • @oliverm1255
      @oliverm1255 Před 4 lety +4

      @@MyLittleMagneton Yeh this one din't have the quality of a CGPgrey video.

  • @beroulga
    @beroulga Před 2 lety +402

    "booty, be licious" is one of the greatest phrases I have ever heard. well played Grey and co.

  • @abasdarhon
    @abasdarhon Před 3 lety +193

    That entire alternate scenario with very dark and grim tones at 3:05 ending with an affectionate BOOP! kills me every time.

  • @ianr4343
    @ianr4343 Před 4 lety +6411

    It must have been extremely hard to not talk about tumbleweeds. He even went where tumbleweeds can't get to him.

  • @yellobanana6456
    @yellobanana6456 Před 3 lety +16113

    "Fake guns don't shoot, nOw dO tHeY?"
    This guy is cheekier than a peach. He's awesome.

  • @TheGachaDilby
    @TheGachaDilby Před 2 lety +99

    I just noticed when the captain says “It be all about branding” the quartermaster just look at him with this look that says “Are you sure about that?!”

  • @kingvideogames
    @kingvideogames Před 2 lety +72

    2:38 I like to think that the quartermaster was once another worker for the navy ship before defecting, based on what the Captain is saying lining up with what he's doing.

  • @MemesnShet
    @MemesnShet Před 4 lety +3909

    *CGP Greybeard*

  • @MinhTran-ss2my
    @MinhTran-ss2my Před 4 lety +2155

    "Booty be licious"
    Never the same after realizing this truth.

  • @littleblueclovers
    @littleblueclovers Před 3 lety +116

    CGP did a fantastic job playing a charming character. The captain was so fun to listen to (and a great contrast from the tired and book-smarter quartermaster)

  • @loanwanning3441
    @loanwanning3441 Před 2 lety +38

    That little boop at 3:16 really got me.

  • @glumbortango7182
    @glumbortango7182 Před 4 lety +2759

    The boop. The boop is the best part of this. I will remember nothing else if not the boop. Thank you Græy, for the boop.

  • @christopherstewart3650
    @christopherstewart3650 Před 3 lety +8510

    Is wonder if two pirate ships both were flying false flags then they went close to each other then showed the jolly Roger and the crew just stared at each other

    • @mettatonsagent7541
      @mettatonsagent7541 Před 3 lety +2262

      “Well this is awkward”

    • @Jake-ch5cy
      @Jake-ch5cy Před 3 lety +1546

      Then a ship of the Empire comes by and now there’s a 3-way-stare

    • @lovell8983
      @lovell8983 Před 3 lety +1557

      @Félix Sánchez "HoW DO yOu dO fEllOw cOuNtRyMEn?"

    • @B2wasTaken
      @B2wasTaken Před 3 lety +110

      @@avw5kt monster jam with boats

    • @samuelalphabet5360
      @samuelalphabet5360 Před 3 lety +1025

      @@avw5kt There's plenty of valuables to go around. Your goal as a pirate is to get away with theft with as little risk to yourself as possible.
      Think of it on a small scale. Instead of pirates, imagine they're two muggers. Do you really wanna get into a knife fight with someone just for their wallet? Or would you rather leave each other alone, and go mug somebody weak and defenseless, who will most likely just give you their wallet without a struggle.

  • @Sewblon
    @Sewblon Před 2 lety +43

    What I took from this and the quartermaster's edition is that the imperial and merchant ship crews do not own their ship's cargo. So they have no built in incentive to defend it. But the pirates get to keep the booty that they steal. So they have a built in incentive to go after it. But the pirates don't have many ports to go to for repairs or surgeons to go to when they get hurt. So they have a built in disincentive to actually fight for their plunder. So peaceful surrender is the dominant strategy, unless the empire and the investors impose pretty stiff penalties on people who surrender and/or great rewards on those who choose to fight the pirates. Rewards are costly. So penalties are going to be the dominant strategy for the empire "Defend my cargo or be hung once we get back to port." But private investors don't have the authority to issue criminal punishments. So you would expect them to give greater monetary incentives to fight, because all they can do if you surrender is fire you.

    • @Sewblon
      @Sewblon Před 2 lety +1

      @AeonReign You mean when privateering becomes an option?

  • @hlibushok
    @hlibushok Před rokem +24

    "Knowing this Chance Corrodes a Captain's Confidence in Command, given the Crew's Critique oh his Conduct Could Conclude his Career." It's probably the best one of Grey.

  • @bergonius
    @bergonius Před 4 lety +5868

    I love how captain sound a bit offended when recruit dislikes the canvas camouflage. Brilliant!

  • @luciandust2355
    @luciandust2355 Před 4 lety +11860

    Grey spent half his quarantine learning how to talk like a pirate.
    Edit: Haha, very funny, this aged poorly. Please stop spamming my notifs over it.

  • @Taeban42
    @Taeban42 Před 3 lety +62

    Day 247: I've been talking the captain and the quartermaster on loop. There is no time for sleep, and just barely enough time to scrounge the necessary sustenance to continue. I wonder if I'll ever escape this maddening loop.

  • @iexpectedthespanishinquisi1657

    3:11 and if you lose you will beg for mercy for the last and longest moments of your life. BOOP!
    I loved that line

  • @megaagentj2248
    @megaagentj2248 Před 4 lety +3204

    I love how the captain sounded genuinely sad when the cannon cover was criticised

    • @spooky4124
      @spooky4124 Před 4 lety +130

      *sad yarr*

    • @Shadethewolfy
      @Shadethewolfy Před 3 lety +33

      WHY ARE YOU SPELLING IT WITH ONLY TWO NS?? Isn't it spelled "cannon"? "Canon" is like the type of music and lore pertaining to a story, isn't it??

    • @smartart6841
      @smartart6841 Před 3 lety +9

      @@Shadethewolfy yup

    • @El_Hornio_II
      @El_Hornio_II Před 3 lety +11

      @@Shadethewolfy fuckin chill, I've seen Grammar Nazis but man you're the Grammar Gestapo

    • @danny_7505
      @danny_7505 Před 3 lety +1

      True

  • @t.b.m.5718
    @t.b.m.5718 Před 4 lety +1985

    Branding even knows to leave out the word “scurvy”.

    • @emilyscloset2648
      @emilyscloset2648 Před 4 lety +50

      It's all marketing!

    • @elijahdage5523
      @elijahdage5523 Před 4 lety +11

      That's well implied.

    • @Nilguiri
      @Nilguiri Před 4 lety +12

      and weevils.

    • @seigeengine
      @seigeengine Před 4 lety +14

      Was scurvy particularly common among pirates? It really oughtn't have been, but stupidity is vast.

    • @VallenChaosValiant
      @VallenChaosValiant Před 4 lety +29

      @@seigeengine Cure for scurvy was found for a long time, but then Europe invented Canning and had the stupid idea of canning lime juice, which destroys the Vitamin C. So suddenly lime juice doesn't work anymore and the sailors blamed the juice and stop drinking them.

  • @fazdoll
    @fazdoll Před 3 lety +50

    3:37 in that cross-section of the ship, the ship is tilted, but the hanging chandelier over the Empire Captain's table is mostly straight. Of course, it's hanging from a chain and responds to gravity.

  • @nickkytesla5897
    @nickkytesla5897 Před 10 měsíci +81

    And now im playing Sid Meiers: Pirates! with this on lol 😂

  • @fernandesl
    @fernandesl Před 4 lety +1670

    The number of times the word "booty" was said here is way above the average of this channel

    • @Santti1989
      @Santti1989 Před 4 lety +39

      Uh oh, the arbitrary gods of CZcams might see this as Grey impersonating himself again.

    • @kingturboturtlednoc5722
      @kingturboturtlednoc5722 Před 4 lety +34

      @@Santti1989 Don't you just hate it when you steal your own identity?

    • @DankstaTV
      @DankstaTV Před 4 lety +11

      if a pirate ye be, ye have booty in hand
      if talk about pirates ye do, ye have booty in mouth

    • @alenasenie6928
      @alenasenie6928 Před 4 lety +5

      "I think there has been plenty of booty"

    • @MikeThomassen
      @MikeThomassen Před 4 lety +7

      There were 13 spoken "bootys" and 5 unspoken "bootys" :-)

  • @jasonzheng8257
    @jasonzheng8257 Před 4 lety +4002

    3:11 Let’s just appreciate that “Boop” added by the Captain

  • @jovesun8303
    @jovesun8303 Před 2 lety +15

    The pirate captain method of 'rules' Grey mentions were most often used by a pirate named Edward Low who was notorious for savagely torturing his victims, sometimes for fun, and was considered one of the most bloodthirsty pirates of the Golden Age of Piracy. Each pirate crew drew up their own version of the rules amongst thenselves before setting sail, but a lot of the 'rules' were very similar in general.

  • @Cushinho
    @Cushinho Před 3 lety +14

    2:24 "i scorn to do anyone a mischief, when it not for my advantage"
    ... though you are a sneaking puppy! :D

  • @chgeri2232
    @chgeri2232 Před 4 lety +3501

    I still have no idea what this guy's channel is actually about

    • @DaMu24
      @DaMu24 Před 4 lety +953

      Everything you want to know but didn't know you wanted to know.

    • @timothymonk1356
      @timothymonk1356 Před 4 lety +247

      @@DaMu24 Few channels better scratch that itch for profound novelty

    • @Cryothia
      @Cryothia Před 4 lety +26

      Yes

    • @TreyGamr58
      @TreyGamr58 Před 4 lety +165

      The best random edutainment on the platform

    • @HebrewsElevenTwentyFive
      @HebrewsElevenTwentyFive Před 4 lety +22

      It be providing proof pertaining to Epstein's predicament.

  • @adamosman2142
    @adamosman2142 Před 4 lety +1477

    "We don't want to torture, understand?" Grey would make a truly terrifying pirate.

    • @danielmoelders7290
      @danielmoelders7290 Před 4 lety +60

      I think quite the contrary. He doesn't want to fight and torture, but he will do it if needed. It's all branding. If you surrender everything is great, but if you fight you will regret it.

    • @notachannle
      @notachannle Před 4 lety +74

      @@danielmoelders7290 yeah, thats called terror

    • @luongmaihunggia
      @luongmaihunggia Před 4 lety +16

      Do ya fear death?

    • @jdotoz
      @jdotoz Před 4 lety +45

      @@danielmoelders7290 Unless your enemy believes that you will be as cruel as you threaten to be, your threat will fail. That credibility has to be built somehow.

    • @adamosman2142
      @adamosman2142 Před 4 lety +25

      @@jdotoz someone has to be tortured, but you don't want to torture everyone. It's an optimisation problem.

  • @kamathonxander1
    @kamathonxander1 Před 3 lety +12

    "[...] Knowing this chance corrodes a captain's confidence in command given the crew's critique of his conduct could conclude his career."
    What a masterpiece of a sentence :D

  • @Pacster15
    @Pacster15 Před rokem +9

    "If ye fight and if ye lose, we will torture crewmen to death while others watch."
    I love how he just casually shifts to murderous in one second.

  • @cameraboimykul
    @cameraboimykul Před 4 lety +2501

    "Yar it need only look good from afar" He sounds so hurt

    • @Darthwgamer
      @Darthwgamer Před 4 lety +41

      Basically girls in Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and others.

    • @bananacat4945
      @bananacat4945 Před 3 lety +39

      Booty belicious

    • @mrjoe332
      @mrjoe332 Před 3 lety +57

      He definitely painted it himself

    • @21owlgirl72
      @21owlgirl72 Před 3 lety +18

      Id give the captain a good job

    • @dinamosflams
      @dinamosflams Před 3 lety +11

      He spent the whole night on that painting, a little consideration would be nice 🥺

  • @seanbrady2232
    @seanbrady2232 Před 4 lety +3115

    “Brands must mean something, that’s why we torture!”
    Cool, now do Amazon!

  • @wassapM8
    @wassapM8 Před 2 lety +24

    I like how the Quartermaster leaves a longer explanation because he knows pirating a lot better than the captain himself.

  • @TheGroundedCoffee
    @TheGroundedCoffee Před 3 lety +10

    Man CGP Grey has such an awesome way with words. Every sentence or block of sentences is so carefully arranged that it takes quite some views to uncover them all.

  • @PeterSiasoyco
    @PeterSiasoyco Před 4 lety +766

    pirate: Pls present yer booty
    Me: well then...

    • @junkyardjoe1419
      @junkyardjoe1419 Před 4 lety +12

      Update your sub count.

    • @cking4869
      @cking4869 Před 4 lety +1

      Since you have no videos, your banner is pointless and I love it

    • @IAmTheAce5
      @IAmTheAce5 Před 4 lety +2

      [full moon]

  • @Milkra
    @Milkra Před 4 lety +1541

    The captain slapping the guy on the back took up 99% of this episode’s animation budget

    • @karlwheeler9076
      @karlwheeler9076 Před 4 lety +13

      Sorry I don’t get it, could you please explain for some of us more dim witted folks?

    • @Wonders_of_Reality
      @Wonders_of_Reality Před 4 lety +3

      At which time point exactly?

    • @maximkovalkov1334
      @maximkovalkov1334 Před 4 lety +130

      1:31

    • @BillyBobJimJoeJeffJr
      @BillyBobJimJoeJeffJr Před 4 lety +55

      @@karlwheeler9076 Its sarcasm, the arm is actually animated when normally everything is just pictures sliding around.

    • @mico6155
      @mico6155 Před 4 lety +27

      @@BillyBobJimJoeJeffJr You need to look up what sarcasm means, because that has literally nothing to do with sarcasm. That's just a joke. Stop trying to label everything...

  • @vo117man
    @vo117man Před rokem +6

    1:23 "Branding is image, not reality" is an excellent quote.

  • @stephanieparker1250
    @stephanieparker1250 Před 3 lety +8

    Ok the “boop!” Sent me over the edge 🤣

  • @its_deer
    @its_deer Před 4 lety +2498

    "I'm gonna make a pirate video with lots of rhyme, to the top of the recommended list we shall climb"
    ~CGP Grey, probably

    • @AegixDrakan
      @AegixDrakan Před 3 lety +28

      This needs more likes,
      for it to be so low is nothing but yikes!

    • @kingofsomething3250
      @kingofsomething3250 Před 3 lety +20

      "We're going to get 139K likes, or we're going to stick the haters's heads on pikes!"
      -CGP Grey, most likely.

    • @friedlemons5201
      @friedlemons5201 Před 3 lety +1

      bruh I thought it was an allegory for socioeconomic ideologies or something....

    • @spidertiger585
      @spidertiger585 Před 3 lety

      i be late but, "CGP" "CCP"

    • @gormauslander
      @gormauslander Před rokem

      Gruntilda of the high seas

  • @durdleduc8520
    @durdleduc8520 Před 4 lety +1487

    this blend between Pirate Talk and Grey Talk is really messing with me

    • @-dennis3755
      @-dennis3755 Před 4 lety +43

      @Beta it's Greyt*

    • @sabrinagibby4167
      @sabrinagibby4167 Před 4 lety +1

      +

    • @sammin101
      @sammin101 Před 4 lety +4

      I kept thinking he’d stop doing the pirate voice, but alas no

    • @francozan
      @francozan Před 4 lety +8

      As a non native english speaker, this was really difficult to understand

    • @Devalation
      @Devalation Před 4 lety +1

      It comes more naturally than any of us expected

  • @MR2car
    @MR2car Před 3 lety +8

    "Surprise ! Pirates ! Please present your Booty" is my new favorite phrase to say, in and out of context. It could be the new "Surprise Spanish Inquisition"

  • @petermileo8279
    @petermileo8279 Před rokem +3

    I like how this video and the quartermasters video refer to the other and can be watched in whatever order

  • @WrathOfMega
    @WrathOfMega Před 4 lety +1991

    "I'd like to talk to that guy before I decide..."
    I smell another video coming.

    • @batterylevellow5473
      @batterylevellow5473 Před 4 lety +47

      Maybe thats why this video is so hard to dissect. Maybe its about getting jobs and how people try to make you join?
      I think you're right about the 2nd video thing for sure.

    • @hinkles73
      @hinkles73 Před 4 lety +16

      If you're Grey and you read the comment above this and this reply, I want to tell you you could use the open ending to set up a Director's Commentary or something.

    • @kimerlioliver4087
      @kimerlioliver4087 Před 4 lety +3

      He had better.

    • @warboy9941
      @warboy9941 Před 4 lety +17

      Probably about the bad side of pirate life

    • @yeongcherry
      @yeongcherry Před 4 lety +2

      or maybe the story of the very first pirate and how he influence others to become a pirate.

  • @Pepino8A
    @Pepino8A Před 4 lety +1263

    First SpaceX Rocket with Humans lauches
    CGP Grey: Yarr

    • @K9nn9th
      @K9nn9th Před 4 lety +7

      Was juz watching that livestream on NASA then notification popped up XD

    • @drakeisacake
      @drakeisacake Před 4 lety +1

      And he is going to play splatoon instead if rocket

    • @keco185
      @keco185 Před 4 lety +7

      Both are ships. One of sea and one of space

    • @stephenbergthold5499
      @stephenbergthold5499 Před 4 lety +1

      i thought that it got canceled

    • @euhenyo4443
      @euhenyo4443 Před 4 lety +2

      Space Pirates!

  • @snoopyguy21
    @snoopyguy21 Před 3 lety +12

    Everytime I watch this, I get the feeling that Grey knows more about pop culture than he lets on.

  • @DomyTheMad420
    @DomyTheMad420 Před rokem +5

    i love the jolly + menacing
    *boop*
    3:59 "it's hylarious"

  • @j.wberger3479
    @j.wberger3479 Před 4 lety +1606

    This is why I like Captain Edward Teach “Blackbeard”. He was such a master at marketing his brand and image he is still remembered today.

    • @EGRJ
      @EGRJ Před 4 lety +32

      I just finished listening to the Our Fake History podcast episodes on him. He lasted two years.

    • @noahhorner231
      @noahhorner231 Před 4 lety +145

      And yet we still remember him. Was he a highly successful pirate? No. Was he even a good pirate? Not really. Why is he remembered? BRANDING.

    • @alexanderrobins7497
      @alexanderrobins7497 Před 4 lety +31

      It is like how I remember the pirate ship run by a couple women, one of whom was disguised as a man for awhile.

    • @hubertblastinoff9001
      @hubertblastinoff9001 Před 4 lety +14

      @@alexanderrobins7497 Wasn't there also once the case where a disguised woman tried to hit on another disguised woman?

    • @jiaqishao4357
      @jiaqishao4357 Před 4 lety +36

      J.W Berger I know right? He really showed the world his brand when he killed Edward Newgate.

  • @aspenpawarts9333
    @aspenpawarts9333 Před 4 lety +2253

    Grey doing a pirate voice is all I’ve ever wanted and more

  • @DutchBlackMantha
    @DutchBlackMantha Před 3 lety +2

    2:03-2:20 Pay attention to the music. You probably didn't notice the first time you watched it, but touches like that really help with the atmosphere.

  • @certifiedfurry
    @certifiedfurry Před 2 lety +3

    1:59 "Please present your booty!"
    _begins twerking_
    "No, Jeff, that's not what they mean"

  • @bennemann
    @bennemann Před 4 lety +4671

    Can we just take a moment to appreciate: "That captain is a fool, and probably cruel, treating his men like mule, feeding them gruel, while admiring a jewel, the whole crew sick of his rule." Timestamp 3:29.

    • @sleystad872
      @sleystad872 Před 4 lety +173

      Poetry.

    • @iau
      @iau Před 4 lety +481

      Also 3:52: "Knowing this chance Corrodes a Captain's Confidence in Command, given the Crew's Critique of his Conduct Could Conclude his Career."

    • @wanwinters9961
      @wanwinters9961 Před 4 lety +39

      beautifully done

    • @theextreem
      @theextreem Před 4 lety +16

      Bars

    • @williamhartman5424
      @williamhartman5424 Před 4 lety +8

      Sounds like something out of You Suck at Cooking

  • @Prizzlesticks
    @Prizzlesticks Před 3 lety +10257

    I just need a shirt that says BRANDING with a pirate flag and rainbow, and beneath in tiny script, "boop!"
    Please.

    • @StrokeMahEgo
      @StrokeMahEgo Před 3 lety +313

      @@TrashPanda5150 yea, but it's cooler if grey makes it official merch, that way you're supporting a creator you enjoy

    • @megans4211
      @megans4211 Před 3 lety +10

      +

    • @Bagimations
      @Bagimations Před 3 lety +27

      I want.
      NOW

    • @ilikepie4685
      @ilikepie4685 Před 3 lety +9

      I need this.

    • @Bagimations
      @Bagimations Před 3 lety +8

      I do want.
      NOW.
      XD

  • @Nauta_
    @Nauta_ Před rokem +2

    The translation of "pissing pants" to "sullying pantaloons" are just gold

  • @lucystarlight8887
    @lucystarlight8887 Před 2 lety +21

    The captain seems genuinely hurt when the recruit tells him his painting sucks. I feel bad for him.

  • @PaulTheSkeptic
    @PaulTheSkeptic Před 3 lety +3411

    "I scorn to do anyone a mischief..." This guy just raised the bar for national talk like a pirate day.

    • @Iacedrom54
      @Iacedrom54 Před 3 lety +118

      It's (reportedly) a quote from an actual pirate! Black Sam Bellamy.

    • @PaulTheSkeptic
      @PaulTheSkeptic Před 3 lety +35

      @@Iacedrom54 Cool.

    • @danbrooks5060
      @danbrooks5060 Před rokem +12

      @@Iacedrom54 wow! that line instantly stood out to me - i wondered if it was recorded in a primary source like Charles Johnson: _A General History of the Pyrates_

  • @whirvis
    @whirvis Před 4 lety +1388

    CGP Grey sounds like he'd be a Dr. Seuss version of a pirate

    • @AFriendlyTheo
      @AFriendlyTheo Před 4 lety +43

      If Grey were an author, I'd expect a style similar to Dr.Seuss, but much wiser, way more informative, and a lot more bloodlust

    • @Phoenix_The_HeroHater
      @Phoenix_The_HeroHater Před 4 lety +1

      Lol

    • @cloud_and_proud
      @cloud_and_proud Před 4 lety +7

      Well, you see, he's doing this very niche and little-known style of writing called "poetry," and, little known fact: Dr. Seuss happened to also like writing in this obscure style.

    • @cloud_and_proud
      @cloud_and_proud Před 4 lety +2

      Jokes aside, do you actually think his style of poetry is similar to Dr. Seuss, or was he just the first poet to jump into your head?

  • @alifathi3645
    @alifathi3645 Před 3 lety +11

    *Help me, I’ve been stuck in this loop for almost a year now*

  • @peteralexandergraae2830
    @peteralexandergraae2830 Před rokem +4

    I really feel like it is worth mentioning, that among gold and other cargo, slave-transports were also frequently raided by pirates

  • @was023
    @was023 Před 4 lety +838

    Their branding was so effective that even today pirates are one of the most recognisable groups of people in history

    • @jdotoz
      @jdotoz Před 4 lety +34

      And, outside the romanticized fictional past, the most hated. Piracy these days is considered a crime against all of civilization, and some nations claim the authority to prosecute any act of piracy on the high seas. Even back in the "golden age," being captured more or less meant hanging for the amusement of the locals.

    • @jdotoz
      @jdotoz Před 4 lety +12

      @@yi8036 While the UK certainly had many, many capital crimes on the books, it seems that the death penalty wasn't actually carried out as often as that suggests. For example, from 1770-1830 only about 20% of the 35,000 death sentences handed down were actually executed. But even after significant capital punishment reform began in the 1830s, "piracy with violence" (which was written such that just about any forceful act of piracy could count) remained a capital offense. In fact, it was tied with treason as the last civilian capital offense in the UK to have its penalty reduced to life imprisonment.

    • @shg45
      @shg45 Před 4 lety +2

      Shoutouts to the CZcams channels that uploads pirated compilations like "Family Guy Funny Moments" for the love of the show.

    • @chinmaymathur7000
      @chinmaymathur7000 Před 4 lety +2

      These pirates are good though, they bring us movies which we missed to see in cinema for free!!

    • @TerribleInThOriginal
      @TerribleInThOriginal Před 4 lety +2

      @@jdotoz I think the question id like to ask is why so few of those death sentences were executed, because my guess runs a lot closer to "died in prison from bad conditions first" than anyone being released. And of course piracy is a crime against nations. Pirates were nationless. Privateers were mercinaries, controlable, but pirates were not. Not saying piracy was GOOD, but it's... A pretty understandable alternative when you look at the options sometimes.

  • @ChessedGamon
    @ChessedGamon Před 4 lety +1416

    So this is what Grey was doing when he wasn’t uploading.

  • @enderger5308
    @enderger5308 Před 3 lety +10

    The most underrated joke in the video:
    “Those poor sea-man sods yonder”

  • @morthostalisint1720
    @morthostalisint1720 Před 3 lety +10

    I've now been in this loop for 226 days. Help me.
    EDIT: Now 256 days.

  • @dododododododo-a-do-a251
    @dododododododo-a-do-a251 Před 4 lety +598

    Pirates in fiction: Argh, laddies! We will fight for glory and treasure, and fight to our dying breath for our brotherhood!
    Pirates in reality: * *psychological warfare* *

    • @Aldowyn
      @Aldowyn Před 4 lety +14

      You play AC4? Blackbeard was all about this
      Well, until he got pissed off, but that didn't end well for him

    • @Rayan-bj8wn
      @Rayan-bj8wn Před 4 lety +6

      Oh lad, don't ya mean brandin'

    • @maxmichalik4938
      @maxmichalik4938 Před 4 lety

      @@Aldowyn What's AC4?

    • @A76noname
      @A76noname Před 4 lety +1

      @Max Michalik Assassin's Creed 4

    • @JewTube001
      @JewTube001 Před 4 lety +6

      in reality that's the fiction the pirates themselves cultivated.

  • @danielmccully706
    @danielmccully706 Před 4 lety +673

    "But lose and you might beg for mercy in the last and longest moments of your life... BOOP" - CGP Grey 2020

  • @fableagain
    @fableagain Před 2 lety +1

    "I'd like to talk to _that_ guy before I decide." is such a funny way to segue into the next video

  • @eldorados_lost_searcher
    @eldorados_lost_searcher Před 2 lety +5

    "But lose, and you might beg for mercy in the last, and longest, moments of your life. Boop."
    Gotta love a cheerful captain. Really knows how to raise morale and crush the spirit of those who stand betwixt him and that booty.

  • @yasminceleste3844
    @yasminceleste3844 Před 4 lety +473

    You might be tortured
    “Boop! :) “

  • @SlashBolt
    @SlashBolt Před 4 lety +948

    Grey: You don't want to be a dictator, it's a lot of responsibility.
    Also Grey: You totally want to be a pirate, it's easy and fun!

    • @maxlife459
      @maxlife459 Před 4 lety +109

      It can be argued that pirates are self-filtering: only people that want to be pirates are pirates. Those living under a dictator are not given such a filter; They may not be able to leave for any reason.

    • @elloo98
      @elloo98 Před 4 lety +32

      Through intense study of your coment I have concluded that Grey is in fact ancap as fuck.

    • @wppb50
      @wppb50 Před 4 lety +27

      @@maxlife459 That's the reason why... as unsatisfying as it is, it might be for the best when murderous dictators aren't fully prosecuted on the international stage.
      When a dictator is coming up against, let us say, the conclusion of his term of office, it might be best all around if he has the option to embezzle a modest but comfortable retirement fund and retire somewhere scenic in the French countryside. Some will always drag things out until they've done the full Mussolini, but an alternative to a short drop with a sudden stop gives an incentive not to drag out the violence into the "to the last bullet" stage of the fighting.

    • @Guztav1337
      @Guztav1337 Před 4 lety +1

      ""easy""

    • @Kaiasky
      @Kaiasky Před 4 lety +8

      @@elloo98 I don't think so, if you listen to Hello Internet that seems pretty far from his position. And like, much of the point of this video is that private property (the Crown's ship being property of the Crown) comes from the ability to do violence to protect that property (killing mutineers). Most ancaps I've talked to have taken private property as a natural right, or as an intrinsically valuable property.

  • @glerasaurus7075
    @glerasaurus7075 Před 2 lety +1

    I love repeating this video since I can't get enough of CGP grey voice in upbeat and cheerful tone in whole video. Very entertaining!

  • @TheChristmasNinja12
    @TheChristmasNinja12 Před 2 lety +1

    That "Boop!" killed me XD

  • @poisontango
    @poisontango Před 4 lety +1666

    I like imagining Grey pace back and forth in his home office, deliberating the most effective script, and rehearsing ways to perfectly articulate these lines over and over again, during quarantine.

    • @GoneZombie
      @GoneZombie Před 4 lety +42

      Thunder crackles in the background.

    • @MartinFeatherstone
      @MartinFeatherstone Před 4 lety +14

      Loving labouring over 'lliteration.

    • @OneFoxTwoFox
      @OneFoxTwoFox Před 4 lety +5

      He better be doing it in the right zone!!!!

    •  Před 4 lety

      You mean in "spaceship you"?

    • @yasminafarih3681
      @yasminafarih3681 Před 4 lety

      With rain and thunder sounds in the background

  • @dilophosaurussk4333
    @dilophosaurussk4333 Před 3 lety +2266

    In short:
    -Branding.
    -Grey spent way too much time learning to talk like a pirate.
    -When pirates attack, work with them, you have a decentish chance of living unharmed.
    -Pirates were not THAT evil, more like, 90% evil.

    • @FireUIVA
      @FireUIVA Před 3 lety +251

      lawful evil, its just good business to be consistently cruel

    • @pumpkinthighs
      @pumpkinthighs Před 3 lety +102

      @@FireUIVA arguably chaotic neutral if you REALLY stretch it

    • @Shadow_Witch
      @Shadow_Witch Před 3 lety +67

      @@pumpkinthighs Well, they want their booty nd they be doing anything to get it, they don't necessarily need to do it the evil way, maybe they don't even want to do it the bad way, but if they have to, they will. I'd argue they're chaotic neutral.

    • @pumpkinthighs
      @pumpkinthighs Před 3 lety +21

      @@Shadow_Witch Don't they also kill bad captains? I'd argue pirates are chaotic neutral too

    • @e_rock_3149
      @e_rock_3149 Před 3 lety +96

      Just in case anyone with a still functioning moral compass is reading this, no, it is not "neutral" to torture innocent people to death for the sole motivation of personal gain (contrary to what the two commentors above seem to think). Piracy, torture, murder, and extortion are all *evil,* and if you agree, congratulations, you have at least the bare minimum amount of empathy towards other humans.

  • @Ramboost007
    @Ramboost007 Před rokem +1

    I love that he got to shout out the captain and the quartermaster in the runways video

  • @Its__Good
    @Its__Good Před 3 lety +8

    "We literally have a skull and crossbones on our flag. Are we the baddies?"

  • @10kanutt
    @10kanutt Před 4 lety +585

    "We be holding a court; a court of the captain, whose crew can complain. Knowing this chance corrodes the Captains confidence in command, given the crew's critique of his conduct could conclude his career."
    The alliteration. It's TOO GOOD!

    • @sebastianjost
      @sebastianjost Před 3 lety +17

      That must have taken quite some time to come up with.

    • @mrmacman2u
      @mrmacman2u Před 3 lety +4

      I read this as it played! Timing!

    • @alba2162
      @alba2162 Před 3 lety +1

      @@mrmacman2u same

  • @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache
    @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache Před 4 lety +912

    "We want free booty. When we ask for booty, booty to be granted, and bounce."
    When an animator is better than most rappers of 2020.

    • @attackofthejiggli
      @attackofthejiggli Před 4 lety +8

      Caught you again, lol

    • @visibleconfusion782
      @visibleconfusion782 Před 4 lety +20

      Animator? Seeing Grey’s progress through the years has been amazing. I can’t believe he’s a legit animator now. Makes the long hiatuses worth it.

    • @HelloLillyTV
      @HelloLillyTV Před 4 lety +25

      ​@@visibleconfusion782 I think he hires people now to illustrate and animate. Grey is mostly the scriptwriter and director

    • @ourladypeace3
      @ourladypeace3 Před 4 lety +10

      HelloLillyTV There are only two people credited for helping with the video, an editor and a music producer.

    • @JoneseyBanana
      @JoneseyBanana Před 4 lety +4

      @@ourladypeace3 There is, nevertheless, an animator. He talks about it a lot on one of his podcasts.

  • @Atlas-pn6jv
    @Atlas-pn6jv Před rokem +3

    It's been more than two years, and I'm still stuck in the endless cycle of listening to the Captain and the Quartermaster... When will this hell end?

  • @sandygehrmann6309
    @sandygehrmann6309 Před 2 lety +2

    This video is massively spot-on in pretty much everything that was said in it. One interesting fact, however, is that the majority of pirates didn't kill anyone, or at least tried not to. They viewed themselves as liberators and friends of the common people, and it's likely that to the end of his career even Blackbeard never killed anyone.

  • @kennylau9677
    @kennylau9677 Před 4 lety +564

    Pirate: Please present your booty.
    Captain: *sighs at being hit on*
    This guy is the worst.

    • @weakspirit_
      @weakspirit_ Před 4 lety +8

      @TheSpikeDevice_Omlet
      but if ye fight and if ye lose, we will -struggle snuggle- the captain while others watch.

  • @knightofsvea604
    @knightofsvea604 Před 4 lety +1837

    "Genghis My Khan, Why do you put Up a White tent outside the enemy city?"
    Genghis: "BRANDING! ... BOOP!"

    • @signorferrari8939
      @signorferrari8939 Před 4 lety +102

      Yup you had 3 days to surrender.
      Or city go boop

    • @MrAlexkyra
      @MrAlexkyra Před 4 lety +122

      Genghis Khan: 'Now we don't want to annihalate your city, you understand? But the Mongol brand must mean something'

    • @joimumu
      @joimumu Před 4 lety +24

      Alex Kyriacou They did keep their promises the good, the bad and the ugly

    • @hellatze
      @hellatze Před 4 lety +6

      Unless its khwerzim empire.
      Almost all people died in that war.
      There is a city surrendering, ended up in a rubble with mountain of corpse.

    • @hereisyoursign6750
      @hereisyoursign6750 Před 4 lety +15

      @@hellatze Timurids came a few hundred years later and did the same thing, probably the worst place to live between the 1000's through 1500's

  • @sevenaries
    @sevenaries Před 3 lety +8

    The captain embodies the philosophy: "Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick"

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones Před 3 lety +1

      "Brevity is the soul of wit."

  • @CubeItself
    @CubeItself Před 2 lety +1

    3:19
    that “boop” is prob best part about this captain’s personality in a nutshell