The Tale of Michael Malloy

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  • čas přidán 19. 01. 2018
  • I used the Smithsonian's account of this as my main reference so if you have some beef about somewhere else giving slightly different details, take it up with them
    Check out my other channel, Sam O'Nella Vlog!
    / @samonellavlog2445
    Follow me on twitter!
    / sam_onella
    Intro and outro song:
    "Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
    creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

Komentáře • 10K

  • @lostfauna6784
    @lostfauna6784 Před 6 lety +3272

    “Motherfucker asks for another”

    • @niko7877
      @niko7877 Před 6 lety +77

      He is the reason why Guinness World Records was created

    • @MrMoney-no8ry
      @MrMoney-no8ry Před 6 lety +16

      3:15

    • @MrLoger3
      @MrLoger3 Před 6 lety +38

      I swear i dont laugh often because of a video....
      But this made me cry at 4am, waking the whole neighborhood

    • @fizzypebble332
      @fizzypebble332 Před 6 lety +1

      MrLoger3 sure you did

    • @TheSpurion
      @TheSpurion Před 6 lety

      Was looking for this!

  • @ReBlarted
    @ReBlarted Před 6 lety +3347

    He was Alcoholic *draws a beer*
    He was also irish *draws another beer*

    • @demondwilson706
      @demondwilson706 Před 6 lety +107

      And a former firefighter *pastes Steve Buscemi's head*

    • @preludetodemise
      @preludetodemise Před 6 lety +221

      As a proud irishman I am deeply offended
      he should of had at least three more beers. four if he was catholic

    • @ReBlarted
      @ReBlarted Před 6 lety +6

      doctor death defying i couldnt agree more

    • @klutz3955
      @klutz3955 Před 6 lety +7

      yeah, way too little for his nationality

    • @maxwellmendo2828
      @maxwellmendo2828 Před 6 lety +4

      At least he wasn't married.

  • @detectivetiershower1817
    @detectivetiershower1817 Před rokem +9457

    He gained a life for every person he saved as a firefighter

    • @asackboyplush6508
      @asackboyplush6508 Před rokem +132

      Yes

    • @Dr170
      @Dr170 Před rokem +232

      Canon

    • @BillyisAmongUs
      @BillyisAmongUs Před rokem +487

      "you, you saved me!"
      "Silence child, as a drain your life force"

    • @roycoll2123
      @roycoll2123 Před rokem +110

      The only posible theory crazy enough to be canon

    • @Killbayne
      @Killbayne Před rokem +46

      well he should've saved just 1 more and they would've moved on

  • @magmat0585
    @magmat0585 Před 2 lety +9898

    According to Wikipedia, one of his nicknames was legitimately "The Juggernaut". Also, apparently he was so well known to the cops that THEY were the ones who questioned Iron Mike's "death by pneumonia" and had the body exhumed and studied

    • @Wildcat12
      @Wildcat12 Před 2 lety +15

      The “Juggernaut” title was added as a nod to this video, as were other parts of the article like the motherfucker quote.

    • @AceOfBlackjack
      @AceOfBlackjack Před 2 lety +27

      @@Wildcat12 Where

    • @dylanpotato8739
      @dylanpotato8739 Před 2 lety +263

      @@AceOfBlackjack wikipedia

    • @neobell9511
      @neobell9511 Před rokem +336

      @@AceOfBlackjack this may be 3months ago but its literally the 3rd word bruh

    • @enigmazero3082
      @enigmazero3082 Před rokem +273

      "I'm the Juggernaut bitch"
      -Michael Malloy

  • @someartist1908
    @someartist1908 Před 3 lety +6777

    Tarrare: Mega stomach
    Ubre Blanca: Mega milk
    Malloy: Mega Liver

    • @lego_grandmasteryoda6874
      @lego_grandmasteryoda6874 Před 3 lety +359

      Timothy Dexter: Mega luck with business

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame Před 3 lety +289

      @@lego_grandmasteryoda6874 merge them all and you have the ultimate lifeform.

    • @kahiruo
      @kahiruo Před 3 lety +40

      Malloy can recover really fast

    • @joelrobinson5457
      @joelrobinson5457 Před 3 lety +31

      Man with the immortal liver

    • @TamHoang-ck1rd
      @TamHoang-ck1rd Před 3 lety +48

      @@SorowFame Give them a stone mask with the red stone of aja and we’re all doomed

  • @reddarrick3921
    @reddarrick3921 Před 6 lety +4120

    top 10 overpowered anime characters

  • @naka8899
    @naka8899 Před 2 lety +13795

    I like how the plan went from “hey let’s make money off his death” to “aight let’s try using the car. He can’t survive a car.”

    • @Andresalex4
      @Andresalex4 Před 2 lety +1

      I know right? It's like their motives went from making money off of him to literally just trying to see if they could figure out a way to actually kill him and it's beautiful

    • @flynn8845
      @flynn8845 Před rokem +32

      xD

    • @MemeMachine-po9zo
      @MemeMachine-po9zo Před rokem +524

      And then he survived the car

    • @slickman3975
      @slickman3975 Před rokem +251

      And came back with no recollection of them running him over…. Twice

    • @Person-lk1vs
      @Person-lk1vs Před rokem +5

      huh

  • @bt-7justclowning
    @bt-7justclowning Před 2 lety +2256

    I feel towards the end they stopped caring about the money they just wanted to know if he could die

  • @franceknop1155
    @franceknop1155 Před 4 lety +4684

    - Irishman
    - Kill with alcohol
    "orb effect does not stack"

    • @singeslayer8367
      @singeslayer8367 Před 4 lety +112

      to quote the video: "Oh, I like that joke!"

    • @Jjonahlamison
      @Jjonahlamison Před 4 lety +8

      Hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahah

    • @orbcat1790
      @orbcat1790 Před 3 lety +13

      *DID YOU SUMMON ME*

    • @franceknop1155
      @franceknop1155 Před 3 lety +8

      @@orbcat1790 *MY BRETHREN!*

    • @David-jn1gg
      @David-jn1gg Před 3 lety +5

      @@orbcat1790 what reference joke is this

  • @48kelvin
    @48kelvin Před 4 lety +6592

    This is a homeless version of rasputin

  • @justmaxproductions
    @justmaxproductions Před 2 lety +4796

    I was half expecting Sam to say something like "after surviving being hit by a car twice, Malloy was shot 5 times with a pistol, he showed up the next day with a limp, finally showing some signs of mortality"

  • @OptimusPhillip
    @OptimusPhillip Před rokem +399

    Some extra tidbits not mentioned in the video (courtesy of Wikipedia).
    In addition to methanol, they also gave him shots of antifreeze, turpentine, horse liniment, and fucking rat poison.
    Malloy was saved from freezing to death by police, who brought him to a homeless shelter to recover.
    Apparently, Malloy was a subject of gossip around speakeasies, due to his seeming inhuman resilience. In fact, by some accounts, this is how the murder was discovered: police had overheard rumors of the unkillable Michael Malloy, and when they received word of his death, they got suspicious and dug up his body for examination.
    By some accounts, there was an additional party to the murder: a Dr. Frank Manzella, who falsely pronounced Malloy dead of pneumonia. After the crime was discovered, Manzella was imprisoned as an accessory to murder.

  • @oddsock3254
    @oddsock3254 Před 6 lety +17794

    Killing an Irish man with alcohol.
    Someone forgot to do their research.

  • @griffingresge7458
    @griffingresge7458 Před 3 lety +15133

    “Deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy” thats bars

  • @stuflu8380
    @stuflu8380 Před rokem +864

    I like how Sam doesn’t tell us how he survived just to make sure we felt the same way as Marino. He survived the methanol since they’d give him regular alcohol and then after a few shots give him methanol, but ethanol naturally bonds to methanol which makes it no longer poisonous. As for getting hit with the car, two police officers found him soon after and took him to a hospital

    • @exotic1405
      @exotic1405 Před rokem +81

      Then what the hell was the sandwhich

    • @turtlelord8021
      @turtlelord8021 Před rokem +1

      @@exotic1405 just has fuckin strong teeth and strong stomach flesh.

    • @bierwolf8360
      @bierwolf8360 Před rokem +120

      ethanol and methanol do not bind - they are just metabolized by the same parts in the liver. Methanol itself is not very poisnous but the enzyme "alcohol dehydrogenase" turns methanol into formaldehyde and then formic acid, which are way more toxic. By having excess ethanol, the methanol is actually prevented from being metabolized and is instead largely passed through. Same goes for the anti-freeze they tried to kill him with too.

    • @kattastic9999
      @kattastic9999 Před 9 měsíci +19

      ​@@exotic1405probably just threw it up later

    • @robertt9825
      @robertt9825 Před 8 měsíci +48

      @@kattastic9999 Yeah, given that level of alcoholism he was likely throwing up fairly regularly. So the damage POTENTIALLY could have been minimal. (Also don't try ANY of this at home kids)

  • @dantemacdonald7672
    @dantemacdonald7672 Před 2 lety +273

    The line itself plus the delivery of "let's deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy" makes me crack up time and time again

    • @MadLadJay98
      @MadLadJay98 Před 8 měsíci +7

      The "shut up" line fucking gets me

  • @chubbyudder9002
    @chubbyudder9002 Před 4 lety +20768

    Humans have two modes.
    1. *Slips in the shower and dies*
    2. *Gets ran over twice and comes waltzing in*

    • @hollowhoagie6441
      @hollowhoagie6441 Před 4 lety +1485

      We can survive nuclear fallout
      But oh boy beware of *_Stairs_*

    • @foserk7063
      @foserk7063 Před 4 lety +82

      You stole this comment but okay

    • @hollowhoagie6441
      @hollowhoagie6441 Před 4 lety +358

      @@foserk7063 shush, every meme is stolen, this comment itself is a meme

    • @strebicux6174
      @strebicux6174 Před 4 lety +12

      900th like

    • @AtariWow
      @AtariWow Před 4 lety +60

      With how I treat my body I'll probably be the first mode

  • @Bonzane
    @Bonzane Před 6 lety +5260

    The quote “deployed a ploy to destroy the unemployed Malloy” is on his Wikipedia page.

    • @mrblazeapound7856
      @mrblazeapound7856 Před 5 lety +69

      Bonzane lol

    • @KingKhanate1997
      @KingKhanate1997 Před 5 lety +626

      So is the “Motherfucker asks for another” quip.

    • @DavidLopez-pc7yg
      @DavidLopez-pc7yg Před 5 lety +36

      MadMongol Metalhead they took it off.

    • @Burn_Angel
      @Burn_Angel Před 5 lety +131

      Death God They only replaced "Motherfucker".

    • @MeinUnterkampf
      @MeinUnterkampf Před 5 lety +128

      They actually mention this video on the page in the "Pop culture" section.

  • @nataliehills2416
    @nataliehills2416 Před 2 lety +286

    The fact that I knew about this obscure person in history prior to watching this is potentially problematic

  • @legitspaghettinoodle5589
    @legitspaghettinoodle5589 Před 2 lety +124

    I love the implication that everyone knows about the Hindenburg disaster despite that event being five years in the future

  • @carlwithhats4837
    @carlwithhats4837 Před 3 lety +15664

    It’s kinda sad to think that Malloy always came back to the same bar, maybe believing that he was gifted drinks, and that the 3 bar guys hang up with him because they liked him. He probably thought he had drinking pals and then they fricking killed him

    • @Mothlord03
      @Mothlord03 Před 3 lety +1947

      At least he never knew they were behind it. Woulda been worse if the last thing he knew was "they betrayed me" or whatever

    • @lollikabosso.w.n7153
      @lollikabosso.w.n7153 Před 2 lety +641

      At least his spirit couldve lived in peace laughing his head off

    • @longlivegarybusey6409
      @longlivegarybusey6409 Před 2 lety +124

      Better than being born with a micro penis. Trust me.

    • @Luckyroses
      @Luckyroses Před 2 lety +109

      So were all just gonna ignore the fact that they're hanging up with him?

    • @sealbeegle9785
      @sealbeegle9785 Před 2 lety +274

      @@longlivegarybusey6409 my condolences

  • @ARVash
    @ARVash Před 4 lety +18289

    The thing they didn't consider with their method of poisoning, is that alcohol is one of the ways to treat methanol poisoning. The man was pickled in the cure while he was drinking the poison.

    • @Jjonahlamison
      @Jjonahlamison Před 4 lety +822

      Alan Ball huh that’s cool

    • @ADAJ342
      @ADAJ342 Před 4 lety +283

      Neat

    • @arqwn4680
      @arqwn4680 Před 4 lety +436

      What about the nasty food,

    • @ARVash
      @ARVash Před 4 lety +1217

      @@arqwn4680 no idea, I only know about the methanol.

    • @tabitharosefreeman1793
      @tabitharosefreeman1793 Před 4 lety +98

      Interesting fact, thanks for the info 👍🏾

  • @faithnamer
    @faithnamer Před rokem +254

    3:14 this part always kills me

  • @Skipmunk85
    @Skipmunk85 Před rokem +61

    ok something I found out from reading the Wikipedia page is that Sam skipped a few steps between regular alcohol and wood alcohol. the most interesting to me is they tried giving him ANTIFREEZE which he chugged down no problem, probably because all the alcohol in his system stopped it from being absorbed by the liver. This detail might help explain all of the other poisons failing as well
    Also, the 5 men had a doctor sign the original death certificate and had him buried quickly, but when local police heard he died they were just like "No fucking way THAT guy died" and had him exhumed and reexamined. This was when they found that there was something up

    • @Lagonbreezey
      @Lagonbreezey Před rokem +12

      Counter argument, the man was Irish, meaning all science is out the window and his liver is made of solid titanium and has a thirst for alcohol so great that he just doesn’t die.

    • @cumcumcum148
      @cumcumcum148 Před 17 dny

      I know for a fact that the antidote for methanol is ethanol. So the idea "It didn't work because he had a lot of alcohol already" isn't far fetched

  • @bulletbill1104
    @bulletbill1104 Před 6 lety +1570

    The virgin bartender vs THE CHAD MALLOY

  • @theCodyReeder
    @theCodyReeder Před 6 lety +23288

    All the alcohol he drank is probably what kept him from being blinded by the methanol.

    • @lir207
      @lir207 Před 6 lety +1401

      My god, what a find. Immense delight to find a favorite channel enjoying this stuff.

    • @koolfoolhost1
      @koolfoolhost1 Před 6 lety +807

      Cody'sLab exactly what I thought, it's ironic how getting drunk can actually save your life

    • @dallen3000
      @dallen3000 Před 6 lety +210

      holy fuck, Cody is here. i liked your comment and didn't even realize it was you.

    • @SoylentGamer
      @SoylentGamer Před 6 lety +501

      Yeah that's actually how they treat methanol poisoning in the hospital

    • @arhanbcey7292
      @arhanbcey7292 Před 6 lety +164

      And freezing to death alchol gives you tempreture i think so at least

  • @alden1132
    @alden1132 Před rokem +39

    The reference to Steve Buscemi when it was mentioned Malloy was a former firefighter is hilarious! Buscemi was also once a firefighter in NYC. He actually went to his firehouse, to work with his old Ladder company as a 1st responder, after the 9/11 terror attacks. He didn't do it for publicity, praise, or attention, didn't tell anyone from the news, or from show business, or anyone that tipnoff the wider world. There is at least one photo of him sitting on the Company truck, though, all of them were covered in ash, soot, dirt, blood (presumably, it was a wide shot), but he never sought recognition. He's a bona fide hero.

  • @komi-sanmustbeprotected5665

    Best part is they spent around half of the equivalent to their insurance claim trying to kill him from the costs of the drinks, chemicals, and bribes, also if they'd bothered to pay to have him embalmed properly they wouldn't of gotten caught cause his body wouldn't of had the signs he was gassed to death

  • @bob69711
    @bob69711 Před 3 lety +18723

    I love how the new animation frame for the word "Irish" is just adding a 2nd bottle of beer to his other hand

    • @Mad-Dog-Majima
      @Mad-Dog-Majima Před 3 lety +404

      As an Irish, I can back this up as true

    • @maisiemaisie123
      @maisiemaisie123 Před 3 lety +149

      @@Mad-Dog-Majima I agree, I'm Irish too

    • @maisiemaisie123
      @maisiemaisie123 Před 3 lety +82

      As an Irish person, I agree with this video

    • @4skintim962
      @4skintim962 Před 3 lety +50

      I can also confirm this

    • @Bigbaymonstermare
      @Bigbaymonstermare Před 3 lety +91

      I love that all of your names begins with “O’”. There’s that joke that goes, “how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?........none”
      I kid because I love, Irish are great people!

  • @thisissparta789789
    @thisissparta789789 Před 3 lety +27827

    Also, he reportedly told Marino after eating the sardine sandwich that his cooking was first-class, and that he should open a restaurant.

    • @kishascape
      @kishascape Před 3 lety +1673

      That was so mean smothering his face like with gas like that.

    • @calebmurray4438
      @calebmurray4438 Před 3 lety +854

      Maybe he knew and anti-poisoned himself just to piss them off....

    • @calebmurray4438
      @calebmurray4438 Před 3 lety +475

      No wait that’s stupid. He’s just some fucking monstrosity

    • @joekerr9150
      @joekerr9150 Před 3 lety +132

      @@calebmurray4438 ok

    • @jxmn._kxot2611
      @jxmn._kxot2611 Před 3 lety +88

      @@calebmurray4438 ok

  • @madelrainwater4694
    @madelrainwater4694 Před 9 měsíci +16

    The "mf asked for another" if my fav part and I ended up watching this month's later and still having a great time with that line

  • @aidan5720
    @aidan5720 Před 2 lety +50

    4:11 thats an understatement honestly

  • @clockworx7689
    @clockworx7689 Před 4 lety +1805

    2:42 that is Malloy’s liver to actual scale
    The man was all liver

  • @jerrendrummond7051
    @jerrendrummond7051 Před 4 lety +6598

    Had me dead when he asked for another sandwich lmao

  • @kawaiigirl1482
    @kawaiigirl1482 Před 8 měsíci +7

    After the sandwich I’d just assume he’s immortal 💀

  • @goblinbabe
    @goblinbabe Před 9 měsíci +12

    “Oh I like that joke” is the best part of my day

  • @pollall2793
    @pollall2793 Před 4 lety +40494

    Trying to kill an Irishman with alcohol is like trying to drown a fish...

    • @gingermcgingin1733
      @gingermcgingin1733 Před 4 lety +1622

      You can actually drown most fish, just put them in the opposite water type (salt or fresh) from what they're supposed to be in.

    • @m4tt655
      @m4tt655 Před 4 lety +1676

      Ginger McGingin shut up

    • @Detahramet
      @Detahramet Před 4 lety +2401

      @@gingermcgingin1733 That doesn't so much kill them by drowning as it does fuck with their internal salt levels, killing them. Putting a freshwater fish in the ocean is like force feeding someone salt.
      You can, however, kill a fish by putting it in water that is the appropriate salinity but has had all the disolved oxygen in removed, though that is more akin to suffocating someone with nitrogen than anything else, but fuck it, close enough.

    • @zlatanibrahimovic8329
      @zlatanibrahimovic8329 Před 4 lety +293

      deathtamer666 ah yes water, N2O

    • @spring1242
      @spring1242 Před 4 lety +227

      Fish can drown as long as the water isnt oxygenated

  • @1D991
    @1D991 Před 4 lety +4035

    Malloy: Is murdered.
    Also Malloy: Y'know what, do that again.

  • @JohnV33
    @JohnV33 Před rokem +17

    You have to feel bad for Michael Malloy, he was basically tortured and given near fatal injuries multiple times. Not to mention he was a homeless ex-firefighter, he likely had a very tough life

  • @UnderTheLuxury
    @UnderTheLuxury Před 8 měsíci +3

    Welcome to The Salty Spitoon~
    How Tough Are Ya¿
    "More Carpet Tacks Please"

  • @sadlad1410
    @sadlad1410 Před 4 lety +9145

    Malloy: **drinks literal poison**
    Malloy: ight, imma head out.

    • @diabetes1191
      @diabetes1191 Před 4 lety +72

      Also Big Mick with the Mega d*ck: Aight imma head back in

    • @ScroogeMcWill
      @ScroogeMcWill Před 4 lety +23

      bruh as my dinner once said: HELP ME

    • @croy1222
      @croy1222 Před 4 lety +33

      ra ra rasputin..

    • @YoungOddo
      @YoungOddo Před 4 lety +9

      bing bong he could preach the bible like a preacher

    • @valdemarhoejlund6506
      @valdemarhoejlund6506 Před 4 lety +6

      But he also was the kind of teacher

  • @stupit467
    @stupit467 Před 3 lety +9854

    I actually feel bad for Malloy, he's just drinking his Acid they poured in to kill him, he takes a nap and they just take him in a room and directly murdered him. That sucks.

    • @kirisai7453
      @kirisai7453 Před 3 lety +376

      I mean he died unconsious and after doing what he liked

    • @stupit467
      @stupit467 Před 3 lety +150

      @@kirisai7453 yeah but he can't do it anymore, can he?

    • @kirisai7453
      @kirisai7453 Před 3 lety +264

      @@stupit467 still better than feeling pain
      If he could feel pain after all that

    • @BunnyOnASnuman
      @BunnyOnASnuman Před 3 lety +28

      @@kirisai7453 up to debate

    • @thetexancrus2036
      @thetexancrus2036 Před 3 lety +101

      @@stupit467 Better than getting ran over conscious I can promise you that.
      Especially since in the story he was dodging the car so he was probably at least a little sober and aware if his surroundings.

  • @yoda8104
    @yoda8104 Před 8 měsíci +5

    The “oh I like that joke” granny kills me 💀

  • @AnthonyHernandez-tr4sl
    @AnthonyHernandez-tr4sl Před 5 měsíci +4

    We still miss you man. I loved to 2 new videos you put out can't wait to see more. I come back and just rewatch the videos regularly and laugh just as hard. Can't wait to see the next.

  • @LKNear
    @LKNear Před 6 lety +2042

    This guy was harder to kill than an anime protagonist

    • @namingisdifficult408
      @namingisdifficult408 Před 6 lety +7

      Bazzralic exactly

    • @majorblitz3846
      @majorblitz3846 Před 6 lety +19

      and Once You Finally Kill Him, You Realized all of Your Plan Is Get Exposed and The every Previous Attempt was for Nothing.

    • @brandonm3076869
      @brandonm3076869 Před 6 lety +2

      Nate River thanks for blessing this comment section

    • @deadnardo2289
      @deadnardo2289 Před 6 lety +1

      Nate River He IS an anime character!

    • @yaboy2588
      @yaboy2588 Před 6 lety +3

      which means hes harder to kill than Natsu fucking Natsu

  • @Tsunbanana
    @Tsunbanana Před 3 lety +3491

    Malloy: f-ing drinks literal death juice
    Malloy: tasty, another please

    • @olliegoria
      @olliegoria Před 3 lety +63

      They cut the methanol with real alcohol, which happens to be the cure for methanol poisoning

    • @skylerkishikawa2327
      @skylerkishikawa2327 Před 3 lety +11

      @@olliegoria Wait am I stupid what does cut the methanol with real alcohol mean

    • @olliegoria
      @olliegoria Před 3 lety +78

      @@skylerkishikawa2327 They mixed methanol, or wood alcohol, with drinkable liquor, which cures methanol poisoning.
      Basically they were diluting the poison with the cure.

    • @skylerkishikawa2327
      @skylerkishikawa2327 Před 3 lety +6

      @@olliegoria Thank you for explaining

    • @cyrusjohnson2763
      @cyrusjohnson2763 Před 3 lety +9

      More like "tasty fifty more shots please."

  • @user-gi8pk9uc7q
    @user-gi8pk9uc7q Před 8 měsíci +3

    Those guys were such idiots to think that the insurance companies wouldn't be suspicious!

  • @greateagle8799
    @greateagle8799 Před 9 měsíci +1

    This is like a real life Always Sunny cricket episode

  • @Elzrydo
    @Elzrydo Před 3 lety +27696

    The virgin Rasputin v.s. The chad Michael Malloy

    • @JustAnotherZoomer
      @JustAnotherZoomer Před 3 lety +989

      Rasputin is his past life
      *big brain*

    • @dnolan.
      @dnolan. Před 3 lety +468

      Rasputin in his current life.
      Biggest brain

    • @antares946
      @antares946 Před 3 lety +188

      rasputin
      (tier 1 ascended brain)

    • @anonymousonion551
      @anonymousonion551 Před 3 lety +492

      Rasputin didn't die, he just evolved into Malloy like a pokemon

    • @trashstorage1468
      @trashstorage1468 Před 3 lety +303

      @@anonymousonion551
      Pokémon : Mike Malloy
      Type: Irish
      Strength: Alcohol
      Weakness: None
      HP: 999999999
      Attacks:
      - Da police: 1/3 chance of instantly knocking out the last Pokémon to attack him
      - Heavy drinking: Every active Pokémon that has attacked Mike Malloy has a 1/2 chance of becoming asleep
      Special ability:
      - Blood of the Irish: Any alcohol type attack on your Pokémon can be absorbed by Mike Malloy. He takes no damage.
      - Unkillable: Any attack on Mike Malloy has a 95% chance of failing.

  • @greivoud7113
    @greivoud7113 Před 3 lety +10990

    You missed a couple of the best parts: After all the booze (even the wood one) he managed to walk in a straight fucking line. Also when they dumped him in the park he survived and another one of the men in the gang caught a cold.

    • @joelrobinson5457
      @joelrobinson5457 Před 3 lety +444

      Pretty sure that was a sign of things to come

    • @spiko1755
      @spiko1755 Před 3 lety +176

      I still think the silt are joke it the best with the old lady just saying ohh I like that one

    • @TerryTheTricky
      @TerryTheTricky Před 2 lety +70

      Dude was saving his fortitude since he was a teenager

    • @frickedupfrenchcat6372
      @frickedupfrenchcat6372 Před 2 lety +6

      Haha Infographic Show

    • @Sarah12471
      @Sarah12471 Před 2 lety +7

      @sourcreampringles Or is both Irish and Scottish

  • @Leatherargento
    @Leatherargento Před 9 měsíci +2

    Malloy really had a great attitude about life! I wish I could be that positive and energetic after literally being run over.

  • @Dimelo.R
    @Dimelo.R Před 6 lety +463

    Michael Malloy
    A weapon to surpass Metal Gear

  • @Grand-pr6kj
    @Grand-pr6kj Před 6 lety +355

    "We deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy"

    • @nottoday5773
      @nottoday5773 Před 6 lety +14

      “Shut up.”

    • @burdy2959
      @burdy2959 Před 6 lety +13

      That line played just as soon as I read this

  • @kingnestor3240
    @kingnestor3240 Před 8 měsíci +1

    I revisit this channel every once awhile and it maked me laugh each time

  • @TCBE
    @TCBE Před 2 měsíci +1

    dude im just now realizing i havent watched every sam o’ nella video so now i can binge the ones i didnt watch and its like a new experience for me

  • @shonklebonkle324
    @shonklebonkle324 Před 3 lety +5954

    The dudes: you have a lot of nerve being alive
    Malloy: i'm pretty sure i don't have nerves anymore.

    • @facelessmiasma4664
      @facelessmiasma4664 Před 3 lety +77

      Not sure why, but this hit me so hard I nearly choked on my water.

    • @maksanimates4456
      @maksanimates4456 Před 3 lety +80

      @@facelessmiasma4664 so did the car for Malloy

    • @thestoryman5706
      @thestoryman5706 Před 2 lety +19

      Man just pulled a life hack and removed his vital organs from his body so they wouldn't get damaged

    • @Year_of_the_Dell
      @Year_of_the_Dell Před 2 lety +2

      I feel that

  • @obseed3041
    @obseed3041 Před 4 lety +1745

    Maybe Malloy was actually _death_ being bored of his job and planned this elaborate shit to eventually lead the three guys to their shocking deaths.

  • @8b0i21
    @8b0i21 Před 2 lety

    God, i swear i dont know anymore how many times i keep rewatching sams videos

  • @vincentcampbell8314
    @vincentcampbell8314 Před 2 lety +8

    “Smells like the crevice behind an unwashed ear.”
    Me: *”Write that down, write that down! We can use that-“*

  • @outsidehistorian7436
    @outsidehistorian7436 Před 3 lety +1266

    A Frenchman, A German, and an Italian are sitting at a bar when an Irishman walks in...

  • @TheEvilCommenter
    @TheEvilCommenter Před 6 lety +342

    "Hey kids"
    DEMONETIZED!

    • @MrStrepsilz
      @MrStrepsilz Před 6 lety +2

      TheEvilCommenter He-
      DEMONETIZED

  • @ManoramaSwain-wg6lc
    @ManoramaSwain-wg6lc Před 8 měsíci +2

    This man was more Rasputin than Rasputin himself

  • @bendthemrsover1
    @bendthemrsover1 Před 2 lety

    Thank you for sharing this! A Co-worker sent me your youtube link!!! Keep doing what you do!!

  • @westcrook2718
    @westcrook2718 Před 6 lety +583

    *Gets Nuked*
    Crawls back to the bar

  • @alexlestrange8662
    @alexlestrange8662 Před 5 lety +8179

    People: Rasputin the unkillable
    Malloy: hold my alcohol, antifreeze, turpentine, rat poison, and this funky tasting sandwich

    • @austin2787
      @austin2787 Před 5 lety +217

      Alex Lestrange Rasputin the immortal Russian and Malloy the immortal Irishman

    • @simeondoesstuffbg3881
      @simeondoesstuffbg3881 Před 5 lety +26

      Tammy Martel The immortal Irishman actually. Malloy I mean.

    • @austin2787
      @austin2787 Před 5 lety +7

      SimeonDoesStuff BG changed, thanks!

    • @emberthewolf1297
      @emberthewolf1297 Před 4 lety +1

      Yep.
      Sans: wtf u eat more than ketchup out the bottle

    • @yourgrandaddy1083
      @yourgrandaddy1083 Před 4 lety +45

      The thing is, Rasputin's case is pure exaggeration and unverifiable, while motherfucking Mike Malloy's durability is a confirmed fact.

  • @AkaLxndon1
    @AkaLxndon1 Před 2 lety +3

    sam didn’t leave. we just graduated sam o nella academy

  • @vietnamgamer9490
    @vietnamgamer9490 Před měsícem +1

    1:30 that joke lives in my head 24/7. Constantly. 6 years later and I had to hunt down this video and figure out where the hell it came from. Bless you Sam.

  • @szentesilazar8144
    @szentesilazar8144 Před 4 lety +1232

    -He was an alcoholic
    *draws a bottle in his hand*
    -Irish
    *draws an another bottle in his other hand*

  • @AzaratheFlea
    @AzaratheFlea Před 5 lety +5216

    "He was an alcoholic, Irish"
    So you just mean Irish right

    • @fcon8507
      @fcon8507 Před 5 lety +286

      Hey, fuck you man...not all us Irish are alcoholics. Plenty of us are perfectly normal FUNCTIONAL alcoholics. There's a big difference.

    • @gwensmith7439
      @gwensmith7439 Před 5 lety +7

      @Masahiro Sakurai wooosh

    • @barney1942
      @barney1942 Před 5 lety +34

      Dudeface Everyone reddit get out

    • @elijahhayes9039
      @elijahhayes9039 Před 5 lety +7

      @@fcon8507 dude it's a joke and if ur so offended why'd u only hate on this dudes comment the vid made the exact same joke

    • @fcon8507
      @fcon8507 Před 5 lety +62

      @@elijahhayes9039 I was offended because I was drunk at the time. Might be drunk now too. Fuck you!

  • @electricyarn
    @electricyarn Před 8 měsíci +2

    I cant belive they didnt just say there was a gas leak in one of the places maloy slept in. It would have turned out so much better or them.

  • @larissahonda3053
    @larissahonda3053 Před 2 lety +1

    i recently listened to a podcast with this story and immediately remembered you
    it is so sad he actually died in the end :(

  • @kermitsewerside
    @kermitsewerside Před 6 lety +1559

    "and till next time"
    guess i'm camping here for the next six weeks

  • @the711devin4
    @the711devin4 Před 5 lety +2714

    “Hello this is the morgue”
    “Hey... any new bodies come in today?”
    *hangs up*

    • @blakejames9743
      @blakejames9743 Před 4 lety +136

      Tarrare will remember that.

    • @Great_Olaf5
      @Great_Olaf5 Před 4 lety +6

      Morino family mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em.

  • @amanzo6222
    @amanzo6222 Před 11 měsíci +3

    The fact that I can no longer imagine certain historical characters as anything but his drawing is both scary and amazing

  • @NFueL
    @NFueL Před rokem +2

    Man maxed out his endurance stat.

  • @botep5529
    @botep5529 Před 4 lety +8756

    Malloy and Tarrare could be the first members of the weird humans extended universe.
    Edit* Who woulda thunk my most liked post was about two freaks of nature starting a film series.

    • @diolight9450
      @diolight9450 Před 4 lety +412

      Now imagine making a clone from Malloy's and Tarrare's DNA

    • @marvmurchins5355
      @marvmurchins5355 Před 4 lety +251

      Roblox Nublet *Jesus Christ no*

    • @devilconcrete2699
      @devilconcrete2699 Před 4 lety +307

      The unstoppable force and the immovable object

    • @vaxel6873
      @vaxel6873 Před 4 lety +140

      Add Timothy Dexter and you got an unstoppable team.

    • @LevatekGaming
      @LevatekGaming Před 4 lety +107

      Roblox Nublet throw abit of Rasputin DNA in there and you’ve got a literal superhuman

  • @Kpsla
    @Kpsla Před 3 lety +5042

    The most incredible part of this story is how he not only took these attempts on his life like a champ but kept coming back for more.

  • @aliaqarahimi5410
    @aliaqarahimi5410 Před 2 lety +1

    Thanks. You pleasured every single crevice and orifice of my mind with your jokes, the smartness of your jokes, and the actual educational content of your jokes...
    Lovely✌✌

  • @catz._.and._.cometzz
    @catz._.and._.cometzz Před 9 měsíci +2

    I love that the lore is that people getting thrown into the sun is normal, people seeing the future is normal, and sam is god.

  • @legendaryfella3236
    @legendaryfella3236 Před 5 lety +5354

    Top 5 overpowered anime characters
    5. Fidel Castro
    4. Daniel Dancer
    3. Giles Corey
    2. Tararre
    1. Micheal Malloy

    • @iainballas
      @iainballas Před 5 lety +61

      Where's Shaggy?

    • @zug9466
      @zug9466 Před 5 lety +142

      Iain Ballas Malloy is capable of beating him easily.

    • @jacobmichalski196
      @jacobmichalski196 Před 5 lety +78

      Rasputin?

    • @legendaryfella3236
      @legendaryfella3236 Před 5 lety +134

      Rasputin is indeed powerful and his ability to survive several gunshots is impressive however it was outmatched by Fidel Castro’s MILK

    • @GameyRaccoon
      @GameyRaccoon Před 5 lety +25

      No diogenes

  • @mettatonneo1147
    @mettatonneo1147 Před 4 lety +4942

    1:17 “I say we deploy a ploy to destroy that unemployed Malloy.”
    “Shut up.”

    • @frunklebunk
      @frunklebunk Před 4 lety +175

      "...anyway go on."

    • @TheMacNilly
      @TheMacNilly Před 4 lety +96

      This rhyme scheme impressed the hell out of me lol

    • @sebasdavis8081
      @sebasdavis8081 Před 4 lety +13

      Thank you for reminding of that part

    • @REMIREZZ
      @REMIREZZ Před 4 lety +28

      Reminds me of Bojack Horseman!

    • @lewlew984
      @lewlew984 Před 4 lety +8

      Yes... that’s what happened in the video.... what was the point of this comment?

  • @someasiandude4797
    @someasiandude4797 Před 8 měsíci +3

    This guy can win every drinking game and the American version of Russian roulette

  • @edward9487
    @edward9487 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Alcohol immunity? Undigestible food? Nope. Michael Malloy was somehow the most liver-dead and stomach-less being you could ever find.

  • @Adam-de8jm
    @Adam-de8jm Před 6 lety +2188

    What if it was just a different hobo every time

  • @Rukir
    @Rukir Před 6 lety +9820

    with tarrares appetite and michals uncanny ability to drink anything they'd be an unstoppable tag team

    • @kenfleischman
      @kenfleischman Před 6 lety +401

      In the words of Ryback, "FEED THEM MORE".

    • @fuzzytheduck6821
      @fuzzytheduck6821 Před 5 lety +450

      Add a pinch of Diogenes for intelligence

    • @-dash.
      @-dash. Před 5 lety +242

      Rukir And the endurance of that "MOAR WEIGHT" guy

    • @poke2981
      @poke2981 Před 5 lety +104

      -Dash. Then have them fuse into a demon love child

    • @jackfrager2542
      @jackfrager2542 Před 5 lety +67

      Please no America would become the new Africa

  • @CATCHTHERAINB0W_
    @CATCHTHERAINB0W_ Před rokem +1

    I think this may be the single best story ever told

  • @alexmartin6517
    @alexmartin6517 Před 5 lety +809

    He probably had like 18 kidneys

  • @GrudgeyCable
    @GrudgeyCable Před 3 lety +5377

    Fun fact: ethanol (alcohol) is actually a remedy for methanol (wood alcohol). It sits in the same receptors in the liver and is broken down into similar enzymes. Hence if Malloy had drank a lot of normal alcohol when or before he drank the wood alcohol it would have had either no or much less effect because those receptors were already occupied by the ethanol. Probably why he didn’t croke than... or he’s just an absolute bad ass take your pick lolz.

    • @alexia3552
      @alexia3552 Před 2 lety +487

      Okay it's good to know there's an actual medical explanation because that was too weird to pass over

    • @yuckfou514
      @yuckfou514 Před 2 lety +42

      Nah. He was just Irish. That's the most logical explanation there. Irish people have alcohol in their blood instead of plasma.

    • @GrudgeyCable
      @GrudgeyCable Před 2 lety +12

      @@yuckfou514 xD

    • @azelfdaboi5265
      @azelfdaboi5265 Před 2 lety +258

      Man also ate a tack sandwich so he's just fuckin juggernaut

    • @someflatsoda9879
      @someflatsoda9879 Před 2 lety +279

      He survived extreme hypothermia, getting run over by a car twice, and took an hour to suffocate on a gas line
      Malloy was physically indestructible

  • @zeebeeplayz
    @zeebeeplayz Před rokem +5

    This man is the real life equivalent of that one dnd friend who keeps doing dumb things but succeeding in all his saving throws.

  • @andrean-silas1085
    @andrean-silas1085 Před rokem +5

    (3:23) The reason he survived that is because shortly thereafter Malloy was rescued by police who took him to a homeless charity where he was re-clothed
    (Allegedly..)

  • @laughsatchungus1461
    @laughsatchungus1461 Před 3 lety +26213

    The fact that he drank like 60 shots of pure wood alcohol and didn’t die immediately is literally terrifying

  • @weaselingrentler508
    @weaselingrentler508 Před 6 lety +8081

    a god amongst men

  • @cyanidexo4512
    @cyanidexo4512 Před rokem

    Bruh I just found this guy and binged all his videos in the last 3 days😂

  • @thedarknight307
    @thedarknight307 Před 3 měsíci

    Literally Sam’s funniest video
    I love Malloy

  • @ChickenNuggets-jf5uf
    @ChickenNuggets-jf5uf Před 3 lety +14765

    “He was around 60 years old” *adds wrinkles*
    “Homeless” *adds background*
    “Alcoholic” *adds beer bottle*
    “Irish” *adds another beer bottle*

    • @Human-gu2cx
      @Human-gu2cx Před 3 lety +358

      Chicken Nuggets I don’t see anything wrong with that description

    • @nexus8516
      @nexus8516 Před 3 lety +652

      "and a former firefighter" makes him Steve buscemi

    • @ihatefortnightgivemeareaso5659
      @ihatefortnightgivemeareaso5659 Před 3 lety +85

      ᏚᎪᎷᏌᎡᎪᏆ ᏟᏌᏟᏌᎷᏴᎬᎡ Steve was a firefighter back in the 80s

    • @nexus8516
      @nexus8516 Před 3 lety +35

      @@ihatefortnightgivemeareaso5659 I heard

    • @potatogod975
      @potatogod975 Před 3 lety +7

      @Lisa McIntosh samurai cucumber already said that

  • @marvelgeek9577
    @marvelgeek9577 Před 3 lety +3438

    This story would totally work as an episode of It’s Always Sunny
    “The Gang commits life insurance fraud”

    • @morganjones4910
      @morganjones4910 Před 3 lety +74

      Michael reminds me of cricket

    • @red__guy
      @red__guy Před 3 lety +13

      Too perfect!

    • @Doop_A_Derp
      @Doop_A_Derp Před 3 lety +5

      Fooking underated

    • @itshammertime4297
      @itshammertime4297 Před 3 lety +79

      "Mac kills his dad"
      Bill ponderosa decides to drink himself to death and the gang pull out life insurance on him

    • @paolovallejo8022
      @paolovallejo8022 Před 3 lety +9

      @@itshammertime4297 indeed, good eye sir

  • @isben_
    @isben_ Před 2 lety

    This is most well put together you tube video ever. Dont even fight me about it.

  • @ridestreet20
    @ridestreet20 Před 9 měsíci

    I hope Sam O'nella lives forever.

  • @uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    @uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Před 6 lety +459

    “The hindenburg doesn’t happen for another 5 years”

  • @Iovetrain
    @Iovetrain Před 6 lety +889

    i got the bread crumbs

    • @Patchess
      @Patchess Před 6 lety +7

      *Yeah but... I got the breadcrumbs*

    • @firepower7017
      @firepower7017 Před 6 lety

      rosemary But In reality I took them from you 😃