Timothy Dexter: The Dumbest Rags-to-Riches Story
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- čas přidán 30. 12. 2019
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Sources:
priceonomics.com/the-strange-...
www.newenglandhistoricalsociet...
historicipswich.org/2015/01/0...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy...
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Intro and outro song:
"Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
4:00 - 4:08
Strength: 1
Perception: 1
Endurance: 1
Charisma: 1
Intelligence: 1
Agility: 1
Luck: 11
Perks: Idiot Savant
Moron perk
Intelligence: 1d4 (-5)
Barter 101
Congratulations this is actually funny./not sarcasm
Luck is infinite.
"The fool didn't know it was impossible, so he did it."
According to all known laws of logic, there is no way an idiot should be able to become rich. Its brain is too small to get its fat little ego off the ground. Timothy dexter, of course, gets rich anyway because idiots don't care what humans think is impossible.
Simon Joss
i??? Love you??? what???
I like how this could be used to describe da orkz from warhammer lol
@@sleepydevilz tf does your comment say
The nachos are a trap
“i love you what” with 10,000 ?’s
Imagine if the guy giving advice, eventually thought the ludicrous tips he gave Dexter were good, tried a few of em out, and ended up losing his fortunes.
That would've sucked.
Actual cartoon plot-line
The business equivalent of Wile E. Coyote
I mean a few of them genuinely were good ideas like buying all the whale bones and sending cats
@@notusingmyname2634 imagine a drunk conversation 'hey you know what you should do, you should round all the straycats and sell em off to the carribean'
"And this Informer of Deer realized that, for the first time, there were a lot of bucks in Malden."
This is pure poetry. What a banger of a line. Sam exists on an intellectual plane beyond our understanding
Shakespeare’s ghost absolutely possessed Sam to write that
@@insectoid_creature More like Sam possessed Shakespeare when he wrote all his plays
An intellectual plane below Dexter though!
@@alfalldoot6715 More like Sam IS Shakespeare.
lines that go hard as hell
The vibe I’m getting from this video:
*Man literally too dumb to be poor*
Gage Wong there is hope for us after all..
Or he could be soo smart he just registers as dumb to us regular mortals 😭
666th like
@john
Yea no way a idiot can get lucky so many times. He’s probably really smart.
He doesn’t give a shit about petty social bs. Also texts can’t capture his character probably
A.K.A “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”
My favorite quote in the book:
"I meane No hurt to A flie only when he bits me then I kils the flye"
Wat
@@nolanimates1595 I don't mean to hurt a fly, only when it bites me, then I kill the fly
How do you misspell the same word twice in the same sentence?
@@Shaun_Jones I am convinced this man's life was the biggest act of trolling known to history.
@@akrybion I think Diogenes has him beat.
So Dexter was definitely lucky, but a lot of what made him rich was sending things to places that had never seen any. No one else would think to send stray cats to anyone, but when they’re sent somewhere with no cats, they become the only source of a new commodity.
It's why marketers try so hard to find untapped markets, it's way easier to do business with someone that hasn't had the chance to do it before.
Yeah, but that wasn't the case with sending coal to Newcastle
really sending cats places to anywhere with rats is kind of a good idea
@@notusingmyname2634ground nesting birds probably disagree
@@toastedt140 agreed fuck feral cats
Not gonna lie the part where he made an entire page of punctuation at the end of his “book” and told people to just stick them in wherever is absolutely amazing
imagine him in 21 century, dude will be the best shitposter in the world
So this is where the phrase “dumb luck” came from
Quite literally.
Honestly watch KoRn-Evolution and tell me who they're talking about as the bottom of the totem pole. We all got shit to do. "Enjoy the gift."
@@bobman4223 ?
Yup.
This dude is the very impersonation of:
Error:
Success
Windows Alert
Task failed successfully
| Windows alert | Trade: Task failed successfully.
1000th like
Impersonation? I think you mean to say "personification"
@@BrassWing oh yes, you are right. Sorry, English is my second language. I always thought "impersonation" means "personification"
I looked up a digital copy of "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones". It is absolutely incomprehensible. The guy spelled most words wrong, used zero punctuation, and the stuff I could make out still made little sense. His writing skills peaked when he dropped out of 2nd grade and they never got better. Absolutely incredible.
you're a truly dedicated alumni to Sam's academy. Well done.
I grew up in this guy's hometown, about a mile from his old mansion (now mostly demolished and replaced with a public library). I always thought he deserved way more attention - even wrote a play about him in high school (which was truly dreadful). Good to see him getting the attention he deserves.
So, does that mean some of the mansion is still standing?
@@bavarianbanshee At least 2 of the houses he owned are still standing. One is the public library. It was damages when the YMCA next door burned down and there is a major addition. The other one is a white mansion that is the one mostly associated with Dexter. That one also caught fire during a renovation, but was fixed up.
Can we see the play, please?
@@griffinbaker3509 Absolutely not. It's horrifyingly bad, lol. 17-year-old me had NO idea how to write dialogue.
@@JackHankeAndI don't care, we need the Timothy Dexter Play.
“For those of you born after 1850”
Thanks for giving us thought, Sam.
We are too overlooked.
Shut up, I'm sick of you lost generation brats and your automobiles and radio devices
With your Landlines and your dial-up
LanCe O'Sage and your meerio keers
Sheepy Art and you being young
@@diorsxf and your Gameboys and PlayStations😑
"Not invading Russia in winter"
If Dexter had tried it we'd be talking about Tsar Timothy I right now
I believe you are trying to refer to Tiser teMosy te fist?
its important to spell it as he would
1. Invades russia in winter.
2. All the clothes manufactures catch fire simultaniously so the entire russian army freezez in the cold.
3.Profit
@@davidj3841 By the time you burn anything, the soldiers already have their winter clothes on.
Mi 28 a new material with long lasting repercussions was being tested on all soldiers due to its other benefits
1. Start invasion in winter
2. Get to Russia by mid spring
3. Bulk of war happens in summer, russian army is shredded
4. Tsar surrenders, war is won
Timothy Dexter didn't simply have good RNG on birth, the man was clearly RNG encapsulated in a bipedal shell of madness and flesh.
He was the generator for random numbers
he so delusional he gained plot armor 💀
"He sold fish and porn" such a wonderful lifestyle
And fish-scented porn.
@@cougarhunter33 mmmmmMmmm
Fish-Scented like your mom
@@autobothilt7864 Aight that's where I draw the line, bud
@@Overlord99762 he isn't lying, it was disgusting last night
“wait a minute... share... skill”
"Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga Yoda death noise"
Jay Schalla 😂😂
My fav part
FUCK I knew I knew the yell
Channeling his inner Sir Pelo
I always kill Yoda intentionally to laugh at the death sound lol
Now that he's back, it's time to binge every single video again
Lmao that’s why I’m here too 😂
We are here with you brethren!
Same!
agree
Name makes sense
Im related to this man, and my grandma has an original copy of the book. His foundation contacted me at one point trying to set up a database of relatives or something. anyway, he was wild lol
Very Wild lol
What happened to that
Commenting just in case some of that family luck will rub onto me
One of the substitute teachers at my school is allegedly related to the winner of the last civil war in England, Oliver Cromwell
Yeah I'm gonna need an update, this man is a legend
Imagine being the “informer of deer”, then finding out that there are no deer in Massachusets.
"Well this makes my job a lot fuckin easier"
Imagine being the best CZcamsr of all time yes that's what it's like to be me
It’s a life changer
Plenty of time to consider how impressively fucked up it is that they managed to kill every last deer in Massachusetts though
I see deer all the time in Massachusetts. Just saying
Timothy Dexter: “Reality can be whatever I want.”
Also T Dex: "I am inevitable."
Townspeople: “We’re about to end this mans whole career”
Timothy Dexter: “No”
he has the reality stone. thanos is behind im
@octo lol extactly that’s so funny
Dhruv Pawar I got that reference 😂
*Hilariously lucky, he’s basically if Homer Simpson and Forrest Gump are combined to one person*
I bought “A Pickle for the Knowing Ones”. It’s a pretty insane read. The sheer luck of this dude is staggering
“This informer of deer realized that for the first time, there were a lot of bucks in Malden”
A beautiful pun
FUCK HOW DID I MISS IT 4 TIMES
I... it went so over my head, I was thinking like “oh is that an idiom or something” then I saw your comment.
Surely there must have been more Celtic than Bucks fans at Malden.
Wordplay aren’t puns
Kaya Robin I don’t get it... Could you explain please ?
"Anyone who felt like whining can stick them where they want them"
Yeah this man was actually a genius.
Yung Xeelee plese*
He was just trying to cover up the fact he was a Time Traveler
I would have stuck them in the wrong spots just to be a troll!
OH MY GOD DID YOU WATCH THE EXACT SAME VIDEO AS EVERYONE ELSE AND LAUGHED AT THE SAME JOKE THAT WAS PUT INTO THE EXACT SAME VIDEO THAT EVERYONE ELSE WHO WATCHED THIS VIDEO ALSO SAW OH WOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M DYING AND I AM SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO MAKE THIS AMAZING TOP TIER NOBEL PRIZE NOMINEE OF A COMMENT, HAIL 2 YOU MF
"They may peper and solt them where they plese"
Timothy Dexter was universe's way of correcting the impact of Diogenes.
This man had such a warped perception of reality that the world around him actually started warping as well to his advantage
🗿
Bro became an ork from 40k
The page filled with punctuation marks is honestly a pretty smart joke
That's a fucking boss move
Absolute power move. What a Chad.
@@Maxistential He meant that it was a good joke as in Dexter trolling the people who negatively criticized his lack of use of punctuation. So he just put all the punctuation randomly at the end.
e
pfp
plot twist: he made himself look stupid because he didnt want to look suspicious because of his ability to see the future
Hmm... He was a Malkavian.
@@hajimeokajima vampire the masquerade reference
@@lovelyhomeboy2782 Go even further beyond, into the world of darkness
@@hajimeokajima Holy shit his biography does sound like a Malkavian LARPing as a Ventrue.
genius
He's such a great felosfer. This entire video in a nutshell: Money went way up, Dexter's laughing.
This is the smartest person on earth, people still be talkin about him today. We’re just pawns in his sick game of manipulation, lies, and sheer luck.
Mostly luck, and also being abused physically, according to his memoir.
Describing Timothy’s two children as “a half-mad drunk” and “a completely mad drunk” is an epic 18th-century burn. Kudos, long-dead journalist!
in fairness if you had Timothy Dexter for a dad you probably would be doing well to only be a half-mad drunk.
Part of me wants to witness the difference between half mad drunk and completely mad drunk.
It was the New England Historical Society.
So, maybe? Like it's a modern insult but maybe someone said it historically?
The historical society said that though, so I think it’s a modern place that said it
The fact that he would not acknowledge the existence of his wife to others and explain her out as a ghost of some sort is just the best thing I've ever heard. It's like a bit from an absurdist comedy except it happened in real life. It's my new favorite thing in the world.
Strength: 0
Perception: 0
Endurance: 0
Charisma: 0
Intelligence: 0
Agility: 0
Luck: 10
Luck: 100
"Not what I would have chosen for ya, but hey, it is what it is"
In base 1 000 000 000
Where did he spend the remaining 25 stat points? I think he has found hidden perks in the starter menu.
Wild Wasteland level 25.
"Dexter made sure to surround himself with the requisite number of weirdos to maintain this level of delusion."
This sentence explains the entourages you see surrounding celebrities and trust fund babies perfectly.
The man was literally a real life 40k ork.
He believed to be a genius businessmen so reality bent around him to make it true! Bloody hell
Timothy: I've been so lonely since Elizabeth died.
Elizabeth: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M DEAD!
Timothy: I can still hear her voice.
I saw what you did there
This reads like a Dilbert comic
People: *complain about a lack of punctuation*
Timothy Dexter: *adds a page of nothing but punctuation.*
This is the level of pettiness I strive for.
Diamond The Hedgehog that might be my favorite part. It’s the perfect rebuttal.
Chivas Owle not forgetting his note to go with it as well
Oliver Hanson you forgot the punctuation.
@@theOGLC well, eloquence is something to be strived. aside from that, yo that bitch hella mean
@@theOGLC My teacher does the same thing but I don't see it as mean or annoying. I consider my essays to be well written so when my teacher says that "people" is to general I don't see it as nit-picking. Like you said it's probably because they can't find much else to criticise. Maybe it's different with your teacher because my teacher is actually really nice and helpful. I could be wrong tho
Adding an additional page of just punctuation and telling the reader “if it bothers you so much you do it” is such a fucking power move.
"ok now go send some water bottles to the fish"
By some stroke of luck, all the fish were washed on a desert because of the worlds strongest Tsunami to be seen by mankind, and the fish were so thankful that they gave the man the biggest pearls they could find from clams
Fun fact: After the success of the warming pan thing, Timothy Dexter decided that this must mean the west indies were actually pretty cold. So for his next shipment, he sent a load of woolen clothes and mittens. By ridiculous coincidence, an expedition, on their way to Siberia, was stopping by at the time. They liked what Dexter was selling and bought the whole stock.
.... Sometimes I wonder about destiny and luck. Clearly, Dexter wasn't destined to be poor and his luck was out of charts
I can't, I just fucking can't.
The odds are too fucking much for any one mind to comprehend.
god, he was a mary sue and did not know it.
It was bought by asian merchants in the Caribbean who then shipped it to siberia
@@vibranium-riprich314 Okay, this makes more sense. Still, this man has stupid luck.
“Pickle for the Knowing Ones” > “My Immortal”
If it was written by someone with a brain of course it is better than my inmortal, but have you read B1terman?
"Pickle for the Knowing Ones" > "Twilight"
"moses was but A man and Aaron thay had sum devel like my selfe" he literally compared himself to biblical prophets
hi my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way
@@justinvaughn2277 ...and way early anticipated the selfie! Only off by one letter _I._
Timothy Dexter: low intelligence but maxed luck.
yea like 100% fortane
Timothy Dexter- the most pure specimen of a sigma male in recorded history
"I meane No hurt A flie only when he bits me then I kils the flye" -Timothy Dexter
"I only mean to say that there is never a reason for aggression until I have been specifically slighted." -Dimothy Texter
Fly is kil
@@ricsan6120 no
Bars.
"But Spyders I Wnt to beet with Pan becas thy Beg spoki and Thy beg Ugli And Am no Lik the Spyders" -Also Timothy Dexter
Can we have Forest Gump?
“We have Forest Gump at home.”
Forest Gump at home:
Forrest*
akrobeau be quiet ugly
@@xhypeinferno8883 be quite ugly
@@funnydummy3701 fuck off
Come up with something original you lazy tard
I find it hilarious that people tried to ruin him with bad advice constantly only to make him more successful 😂
I know I have watched all your videos even twice or thrice in the last week (again). But I do enjoy them a lot. Much appreciated man, hope you the best
God imagine being the guy giving Timothy Dexer all that advice. Like... you viciously try to sabotage his life and he comes back... _richer._ Every time. _And Timothy probably thanked the guy for it._
With each horrible investment tip I grow stronger
Imagine if he (the guy giving advice) eventually thought the ludicrous tips he gave Dexter were good, tried a few of em out, and ended up loosing fortunes.
I'd be questioning the fabric of reality if I were that guy. Hell, I'd probably become religious just so I could assume that God was mocking me.
From his point of view the guy trying to sabotage him is a really good friend who only gives good tips
sounds like the modern day with dogecoin lmao
"Thay may peper and solt it as they plese" is the best phrase ever and we should bring it back.
YES!
You can really hear the colonial New England accent based on his misspelling of the words he wrote
The upper crust pie face makes me smile. Every. Single. Time.
I am very thankful for this video. It helped me a lot. I used it as an example during my final oral exams in highschool and I have got 100%. Thank you Sam and thank you Timothy. Your illiteracy gave me maximum points
"What do you wanna be when you grow up?"
"Informer of deer"
“Informer of deer in a place that doesn’t have deers”*
Some random Guy *deer
Beer* 😂
"Ok so as a deer you're supposed to stand it this tree clearing, eating grass. Every so often you have to look up and scan your surroundings, but if you hear rustling in the bushes, you gotta run off because you're supposed to be afraid of everything. Also, if you're ever on a long stretch of road at night and see a car driving through, you have to either stand right in front of it or run directly in its path, you can't wait off to the side. Don't ask me why, just do it!"
That's pretty close to what I actually wanna do
i tried to read a pickle for the knowing ones but it actually gave me a headache and now im in genuine awe of how anyone can decipher this lunatics rambling
So it basically is a piece of lovecraftian anomaly
I can't read it without laughing for like, 3 minutes straight. This man was a fucking comedian, I'm pretty sure his book only sold because people thought it was funny.
Yeah just look at this "so I can tak the kee in side and haye fier works in the toume pipes and tobacker & A speaking trumpet and & bibel to Read & sum good songs"
@@ratinapillowfort what the f- i just read
I'm a person don't mind me that’s worse then a Scottish accent
I love that when dexter’s elites tell him what he should do, he stares off into space with the most astonished look on his face, as of the secrets of the world has just been revealed to him.
So it seems I'm rewatching every Sam O'Nella video. Yet again.
I like it.
“The last upload of the decade”
Little did we realize that this is the last upload for the next 10 years.
brother mate sister father its 7:18 pm so nope
@End My Pain China?
@End My Pain what you mean? Zimbabwe is in 2020
@End My Pain Mexico or canada?
My god guys, its Penn Island
"He sold fish for a living... and porn."
*_It ain't much, but it's honest work._*
hey that porn selling fish merchant is the best damn poet a man can find!
Hell yeah
"There's only one business in the galaxy that could possibly get you this rich"
I was the thousandth like
fish4hoes.com
That's honestly the best ad transition I've ever seen
I miss this man’s videos… the old ones are still here, but you can only watch them for so long…
I think GameStop did some praying to Timothy Dexter this year
Definitely
Don’t forget AMC
@@blockbreaker8839 AMC this AMC that when AM i gonna C sum titties
@@GRAV3YARDMUSIC are you okay ??
Don’t we all?
"Wait a minute, share, skill"
"It's ya boi Raid: Shadow Legend"
“Just kidding I’m not a shave out THIS VIDEO IS SPON*gets shot*”
junoguten no it’s me
Wow, did I make top 5 comments on a Sam Onella video?! Hi mom!
its an rpg pvp on pcp, for people with adhd, OMG
@@junoguten yuck
The return is imminent
how the hell did you know
Prophet
Hail the prophet
Excuse me what the fu-
This might actually be one of the funniest videos, or piece of media in general, I've ever seen. Makes me laugh every time.
I’ve read A Pickle For The Knowing Ones. I’ll have you know I’m a lot smarter having read it. Before I read it I was a nobody working a 9-5 like everyone else but when I read it all of the sudden everything around me turned to gold and the neighbor down stairs turned into a maid. I live in luxury now Thank You Timothy Dexter!
Lol
But yoo ar stil yoozing puncchooaishun so you clerly didunt understannd thu buk wel inuff
@@sumvs5992 ,,,,,,,, ......... !!!!!!!! ???????? ''''''''''''''''''' ::::::::::::::::: //////////// ------------- ======== ________
@@theanonymouswayz3566 🤣🤣
I Am from The younited stayts an I am Very rich
This man is the real life equivalent of when you make a joke character by bombing all your stats into luck and it ends up, ironically, becoming your most successful build
Old Man Henderson, is that you?
@@xenomang3149 "That's the ugliest damn poodle I've ever seen."
-Timothy Dexter looking at a cat, probably.
Timothy is the real life embodiment of the 'idiot savant' perk from fallout 4 then?
@@OtakuUnitedStudio MUCKLED DAM WIFE! 'AIR EH NAGGLY BE KEEPIN' ME MALDEER?
Holy shit I’m having Fallout 1 flashbacks
6:08 "this year, i lost my wife
- stop telling everyone im dead !
- sometimes i can still hear her voice" kind of energy
Dude was a walking nat 20
_Money went way up, Dexter's laughing_
@Joka Tahka what
this ientire comment in a nutshell:
Add luck make money go up
Stonks
A poet that sells fish *AND* porn for a living.
I've never heard that one before.
It can be all at once: f i s h s m u t w r i t e r
He must secretly be Japanese
Fish cutter at day
meat rubber at night
Literally: Hentai has the same origins.
Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. "A poet, a fisherman, and a porno salesman walk into a bar."
1:40
I love how he went through the effort of leaving out Vermont and Maine but didnt give Virginia back West Virginia
The comedy and writing in the videos is so so good
This man could literally never fail. Its actually astonishing.
If he was born in the 80s he would have been POTUS by now
@@vulekv93 Wait a minute...
vule you could just say the president
@@vulekv93 it's a requirement to be over 40 to be President, so not 80s. I think you mean if he was born in the 40s!!!!! Wait a minute...
@@squirlmy To be 40 or over, you would need to be born in 1980 onward.
After watching this and reading “A Pickle for the Knowing Ones” including the poem he wrote about himself, I’ve come to a conclusion.
This man is my fucking hero.
A great philosopher once said, “there is grat minds & Littel minds grat sols & Littel sols grat minds & littel minds”
Clearly Timothy Dexter was one of those grat minds.
Ther gr8 minds, n litl minds
Possibly the gratist mind
There's also a strong case to bed made that he intentionally wrote it terribly just as a middle finger to the educated elites he hated so much. Like a lot of that bad spelling would almost take more thought to come up with.
@@ZachGatesHere I'm guessing "A Pickle For the Knowing Ones" just means "Trolling the people who condescend me as they think of themselves all high and mighty."
Reading more about him, I don't think he was as dumb as he let on...
Ya boy Timothy had plot armour lol 😂
truly great spelling from his book:
united: younited
particular: petickeler
and the best one,
haverhill; havvrel
“Jonathan sold fish for a living...and porn”
He is living his best life
Σאgßと i didnt need this but like, cool
I now finally see what I want to be when I grow up.
@Jace James What does Brazil have to do with it?
What’s the difference
I may need a link
Sam: “hey kids”
How brave. I was fully expecting to hear “hey fully grown adults and mature teenagers above 13”
No way anyone is going to mistake this for family friendly content
This is very family friendly content
-Animated
-Informational
-Could appeal to children because literally anything can
-Sam literally says "hey kids"
haha ignore all that swearing though
i'm a 24 yo kid..
everybody is a kid.
Coppa:
A crime has been commited
Wouldn't be surprised post coppa his motto changes to hey peeps
This is my favorite sam o’nella vid
I love how Sam put emperor norton in the line up of statues.
Can't tell if he made the page filled with punctuations to be a troll or because he genuinely thought it was what the publishers wanted
Probably both.
*y e s*
My guess is, he thought he was smart, he got angry when got told otherwise, threw a hissy fit
@@phd-lc7fv that sounds about right. He did shoot at someone to change their sign afterall.
where did you get the pfp
Before that was an ahegao lol
"They may peper and solt it as they please"
what a legend
*plese
He rules, im going to do that too! Fuck grammR, its mine now!
I forgot about the scream of agony Sam gives when he transitions into the ad segment. I died laughing.
6:58 I don’t know why but the way he says this always gets me
7:54
He was just a real life anime protagonist.
He's the real life version of the anime dudes who are 100% afraid of sex, but have tons of women fighting to get a chunk of him stuck inside of them.... except this man actually got down with the sickness.
@@UglyNTRBastard and it's time for our boy to clean it up
The plot armor is strong with this one...
Anime more like gaynime
Sounds like he may have been a narcissistic sociopath.
His education had nothing to do with making money and he picked that up at 8 to make money even quicker.
He knew exactly how to get what he wanted, money and wealth, and completely willing to exploit people to do it. He abused his wife who that don't validate his ego. He had a grandiose self of self importance, seemingly lacked empathy, classic traits.
That has to be the best sponsor transition I've ever seen, period.
Another fun misspelling of Dexter's in A Pickle for the Knowing Ones: he spelled United States of America as, and I quote: "younited States of A mercary"
This guys problably wasted all the world's luck and now we are suffering in 2020 because of it. Thank's Timothy Dexter.
@ you, my friend, are a mad man
Not gonna like
Because its on 420
@Kaiser Franz von Lappen der 2. Jokes on you i don't have a father
@Kaiser Franz von Lappen der 2. I can hear the southern in this comment. Jesus Christ
@@Barneyfromhalflife1 WHOLESOME 100 REDDIT MOMENT
he added a page of just punctuation so people who complained could put it there themselves im crying this man is the embodiment of built different
He ain't built different he built stupid
@@shaundouglas690 Man too stupid to stay poor, becomes millionaire
"Think different" - Timothy Dexter
"fouder mister printer the Nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops I put in A Nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese"
@@shaundouglas690 constructed in an unorthodox fashion.
Hoo boy.
Dexter did not pester the city of Malden for office. By the time he married he was living in the city of Newburyport and it is that city he was a pest to.
The image of his house is a mishmash of two houses he owned (in Newburyport). One was a square brick building that is now the city library. The other one, the one with the statues and the copula, is a white mansion.
He did not randomly round up cats. He was paid by the city do do so because there was a feral cat problem in the city. But after he collected a bunch he was told that he could not just drown the cats, to be paid he would have to transport them somewhere.
The arm wings that don't attach to the back are amazing.
This man has a 1 in every stat, but a feat that lets him take 20 on literally every roll he makes.
he's playing Fallout with a 1 in Intelligence and a 10 in Luck.
@@SavageGreywolf …and that's all you need. Ain't both worlds grand?
Min-maxing is a viable strategy. It’s called a build and he went with the “Blissful idiot” build
@@VulpesFidelis Don't they say" It's better to be lucky than good"
Legit. Man's crit rolled on litterally every life skill check
you forgot to mention his exploits in the East Indies, where he hauled a ship's worth of mittens to Thailand and sold them to Portuguese merchants who happened to be passing through on their way to China
instead of being a merchant he could have started gambling and still will make a lot of money
when you out-sam the o'nella
Logan 1500th like btw
@@stealthkyro1531 who asked?
Eric Silver awfully nice of you to care enough about a comment to put a reply
2:58 I like how there's a statue of Emperor Norton and Michael Malloy in the mix lol.
Timothy Dexter in a nutshell:
*Task Failed Successfully*
*”you, my son, you shall be the one with all the figgy pudding”*
-RNGesus
To this day, I ask myself: what the Hell is figgy pudding?
THE VOICE
French Soldier well it’s quite simple figgy pudding is figgy pudding
@@gatorpog9752 what is figgy?
French Soldier it’s a nickname for a fruit called a fig
he sold gloves in the Caribbean that were bought by people en-route to Siberia then again to merchants in the south seas who ended up going to China. the man was lucky beyond belief with his ventures. i venture that he was one of Horatio Alger’s inspirations: not a stretch as Malden is the next town over from Revere, MA
That "bucks in Malden" line still kills me, three years later
His friends be like “invest in game stop”
can we do it again but with a stonk I own :c
@@TheDragiix3 you had your chance, if you want to be forgiven try religion
T^T
@@TheDragiix3 so sorry
@@beybladesinmyheels1267 IT JUST HAPPENED AGAIN
This man was actually delusional enough to bend reality to his will
He was *dense* enough
Ashanti Nyongo Bending space time with his density
Car Red car fast
a true shonen protagonist
lmao
this man was a 40k orc