The Presidential Assassination Nobody Talks About
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- čas přidán 29. 09. 2019
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Sources:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles...
books.google.com/books?id=FNb...
touringohio.com/profiles/guite...
www.sunsigns.org/famousbirthd...
famous-trials.com/guiteau/218...
______________________________
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/ @samonellavlog2445
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Intro and outro song:
"Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
"The video was gonna be way too long"
How dare you assume we'd want *less* o'nella
He's probably making a part 2
10 min is the magic number for youtube ad revenue. Im glad hes one of the few channels not clickbaiting though
yeah, we want *sam* more *o'nella*
560th like
I'd watch a 20 min o'nella video
Kills man to become famous.
*The presidential assassination that nobody talks about.
Jenneh Weet mission failed we'll get em next time
/cue Seinfeld theme
Until today
Now, what about McKinley?
😂
A lot of this makes sense once you realize that two major symptoms of late stage syphilis are insanity and personality disturbances.
Ohh
So how do you explain everything before that?
@@IoEstasCedonta he wasn’t really a lunatic before that, he was just kind of a dick.
@@IoEstasCedontaFUCKIG stupidity and possible slightly insanity
@@IoEstasCedontaHe was just a silly little guy
Shot by Guiteau, but killed by his doctors. The autopsy showed there was already a protective cyst being formed around the bullet, but they worried more about the non-threat of "lead poisoning" than they did about their absolutely filthy surgical practices. Besides the insanity plea, I think the defense attorney went for the killed-by-doctors angle, too.
yes
It was the Wild West in medicine around that time😂😂😂
@@HandsomeLad69that’s because it was the Wild West period 😂
I love how as a child he's still depicted with a beard.
Omg I tought he was simply really small hahahahahaahah
T I N Y B E A R D
On that fateful day, he became a man.
*and your a child with a mustache*
That's because you merely adopted the beard. He was born with it, molded by it. Guiteau didn't see a razor until he was already a man; by then, it was nothing but manscaping! The beard betrays you, because it belongs to him. I wonder, what will break first? Your stubble? Or your spirit?
"Hey man, ever heard of Hitler?"
"No, who's him?"
"That guy that killed Hitler."
"Ohh that guy"
NoFckYou. This place gonna be crowd
Ha you were wrong
I knew I heard him
XD
Crowd
fun fact: Abraham Lincoln's son, Robert Todd Lincoln, who was the Secretary of War at the time, was next to Garfield during the assasination. also, he once almost died from being crushed by a train car when Edwin Booth, John Wilkes Booth's brother, saved him, while traveling with his friend, John T. Ford.
No one cares
History is full of insane coincidences like this and I always love hearing about it
He was also nearby when McKinley got iced as well. He is said to have refused a later presidential invitation with the comment, "No, I'm not going, and they'd better not ask me, because there is a certain fatality about presidential functions when I am present." Although, that wasn't a firm policy, there's quite a nice picture of him, Chief Justice (and former President) Taft and President Harding at the opening of the Lincoln Memorial.
that's wild
@@babyyodafan6943i do
Guiteau is one of the most interesting characters in the Sondheim musical Assassins, which is about everyone who ever attempted or succeeded in assassinating a U.S president. Guiteau is framed as comic relief the entire show, but then he’s one of four who actually succeeded. His song, “The Ballad of Guiteau,” has this both creepy and optimistic vibe at the same time, and if you’re into American history and/or theater I really suggest you check it out!
Almost everyone, Sondheim left out the would-be assassins of Jackson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Truman. Although it's still a neat musical. Now that John Hinckley's out of the asylum and posting songs to CZcams I wonder what he thinks of the songs Sondheim wrote for him? Although I feel like to avoid legal trouble he probably shouldn't bring it up.
I learned about the musical through this comment, so glad I did. I never imagined that I'd like musicals. My favourite song is probably Ballad of Czolgosz, quick and succinct yet so catchy.
that's why i'm here actually
Wow that sounds kinda cool. I’m gonna check it out
@@possums154eyyy that’s why I’m here too! Come all ye Christians and learn from a sinner…
imagine going to a hanging and the victim starts reading his fanfiction about himself
I think you mean convect
@@josem.925 I think you meant convict
@@zebimicio5204 fuck got out spelled
I mean, wouldn't that make it better? If they start reading their personal fanfiction, you know they deserve what's happening next.
@@josem.925 Fuck, got out spelled.
Charles didn’t even kill Garfield. The doctors killed him with their incompetence making a 3 inch wound expand into a infected 20 inch wound
The Medic would be proud.
Christian Flaherty: Sequel Edition tf2 reference?
@@saigudi7396 Of course it was.
He actually said so in his trial, the madlad
Dr.Barrel nice.
Someone described him as an “1800’s Chris-Chan” and that couldn’t be anymore accurate
The moment I heard "a nice Christian lady under 30 years of age" that is exactly what I thought
@@GPantazis
- Poor relationship with an older brother
- Been on multiple love quests
- Hired a prostitute
- Has illusions of grandeur
- Unbridled entitlement for doing basically nothing
- Plagiarises everything he could get his hands on
- Got a restraining order (in a way)
- Writes fanfics about himself
- Created a rudimentary attraction sign
- Absolutely bonkers court case
Every generation has their own Chris Chan it seems
@@yellowflametree4238 To be fair "hired a prostitute" is not quite at the same level as the rest
I kinda wish Garfield just gave him what he wanted. His escapades as an ambassador to another country would be utterly priceless
Honestly he'd probably start a war with france
"If the dick dont spit, you must acquit"
"Holding in the ol' pelvic sneeze"
I'm dead lmaooo
Cosmic Klutz hahahahaha
I never heard of anyone ever using these phrases before.. I have no idea how he comes up with such deadpan humor ctfu
@Cosmic Klutz father?
@@n0yn0y O_o My 395th child...
I completely forgot this was about a presidential assassination like 6 minutes in
I was too interested and immersed in the free love mechanic
lel
Somewhere along the way i forget it wasn't just about the man withe the worst life
@@abandonedchannel8821 I read this as a fancy lol
That happened before
I know I’m super late on this cuz I just got into Sam’s videos but the other assisination was probably president McKinley by Leon Czolgosz. (Just as a disclaimer I got all my info on Wikipedia which “isn’t a credible source” but sue me)
- was a polish American born in may 1873
- mom died at 10 during child birth
- became a factory worker at 17
- economic hardships pushed him to Catholic Church
- went to live with dad on a big farm
- did fuck all to help with maintaining farm
- fought with step mom about religion
- left his dad to become a recluse
- became a socialist
- then became an anarchist
- found out about an assassination on an Italian leader
- thought “that’s not a half bad idea, this’ll solve all of my economic problems and help the country. I’m such a noble guy”
- went to the pan American exposition in Buffalo ny (my home town :) ) in 1901
- bought a pistol
- just walked up to the president and shot him twice (first shot ricocheted off his jacket button and second was non fatal gut shot)
- just like Garfield they examined the president and expedited the infection
- Leon was tried days after the president died
- defense tried to claim insanity but it was denied because he put so much work into making sure the pistol worked and was properly concealed during the assassination. They said no insane man would commit murder in such a public place knowing that they would be caught
- convicted of first degree murder
- had two visits before getting the electric chair; first his father Fudzinski and Father Hickey went to see him but was refused twice before being let to him. They brought being a clergy man early in the day who pleaded with him for 45 min to repent but he refused.
- the other was with his brother and brother in law who asked him why he did it to which he said “No one. Nobody had anything to do with it but me." They didn’t think this was like him and it’s not how he was raised so they asked if he wanted the preacher to come back. When asked he said "No, damn them. Don't send them here again. I don't want them," and "Don't you have any praying over me when I am dead. I don't want it. I don't want any of their damned religion."
- was sent to the chair where his last words were “I killed the President because he was the enemy of the good people - the good working people. I am not sorry for my crime. I am sorry I could not see my father." (Presumably talking about his biological father idk how these two “fathers” were related to him but it’s probably some fucky Wikipedia shit)
- got three shocks and died
- brothers were at execution and wanted to take the body but were deterred because the people performing the execution said “the crowd wouldn’t let them leave the building with the body or else they would get mobbed and hav ethe body stolen presumably to be horribly defiled Mussolini style
- the authorities autopsied him and found that he was super unhealthy and had gross STD warts on his junk
- they planned to burry him in the prison but wanted to decompose the body quickly so nobody could dig him up and worship him
- the authorities looked at him body and was like “hey this quicklime stuff works great at decomposing flesh (as seen with this piece of meat we tested it in earlier) and we’re legally allowed to use as much of it as we want but you know what is even better at dissolving stuff? Sulfuric acid. So they dumped a vat of acid on him horribly disfiguring his corpse and after 12 hours was completely melted. They then burned his cloths and called it a day.
- after his death an anarchist writer was accused of helping the assassination but was let go to insufficient evidence
- she wrote saying that McKinley was a “President of money kings and trust magnates” in an article called “ The Tragedy of Buffalo” but it was tossed aside because the whole anarchist movement was tarnished by Leon’s actions
- Leon was “buried” in Cayuga county NY in an unmarked grave with only writing being “Fort Hill Remains"
I doubt anybody actually read through all that but it was a fun way to add what I can to the void that is CZcams comments (on a video that’s 2+ years old (I don’t want to check exactly cuz then I’d have to delete this mini thesis)). Thanks to whoever got this far and if you want to read more about it there’s a horribly boring book I had to read in highschool about all this called “Devil in the White City” which is split between H.H. Holmes’s story (the actual interesting part of the book) and the American exposition which leads into Leon’s story. Alright now time to work on finals shit :))))))))))))))))))) (I want to die)
Edit (“literally” 20 seconds after posting) I probably didn’t get all the information and probably got shit wrong. If I willfully wanted to spread misinformation I’d go back to before Twitter blue was canceled. I did the best a half hour of reading could do.
Also I really wish Sam would’ve done this one too and I can’t do it justice in the way he can but hey, now you know the other one
Yea u got it mostly right. Doubt Sam will do a video on it cause it's not very wacky/funny and mostly just kind of sad for everyone involved. Wouldn't really make a good Sam O'Nella type of video
nice comment
Thanks for the post lad
Ty for posting this. Idc about missed or misinformation, I literally won't talk to anyone about this even in context but yeah was fun to read thanks
Charles Giteau is a man who somehow failed every sidequest possible.
"He killed garfield"
Me: that bastard john arbuckle, he finally did it
im sorry jon i died
Bullets don't work, Jon
You have killed me Jon clever jon....
The fun is just beginning, Jon.
sayonara Garfield san
He didnt even kill the guy who actually insulted him.
obviously it was garfield's fault
always and forever
That's like my friend tbagging a high rank in a game and then him wiping _me_ for my friend's actions.
President Garfield's Secretary of State: leave me alone you poopybutt!
Guiteau: Curse you Garfieeeeelllllddddd!!!!
A pity he didn't live for another 130ish years. Then he could have put the blame squarely where it belonged: On Obama. Thanks Obama. It was all your fault, all along.
@@dontreadmydescription4473 ok I wont
@@sarafontanini7051 It wasn't about who was at fault, it was about what would make him historically memorable.
Charles couldn’t even murder properly, the dang doctors did it for him and he got all the credit!
The note that he writes for Garfield after he steals the election from grant….is some of the best comedy writing I have ever seen. It’s genius and I remember the first time reading it and just DYING
“We can do nothing but Garfield him the election” lives rent free in my head! 🤣
Everybody: Cumshot
Sam O'Nella: Pelvic sneeze.
Lmao pretty much 🤣🤣
Brings to mind the image of a cock wiggling around making sneezing noises while some guy thrusts his hips all over the place.
@@JamesTAdams hAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA
@@dairyoo you know how I pronounce that word la Mayo so the way I read that it kind of forced me to be confused
@@JamesTAdams similar thought, my friend
The best irony is that he wanted to go down in history as a famous assassin of a president and this is the first time I ever heard of him.
What was his name again? The guy who assassinated the less famous Garfield?
Eh, never mind it's not important.
@Projekt Kobra Yeah, as that is the literally definition of fame.
Quote: "the state of being known or talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements."
@Projekt Kobra Would you still call this guy famous?
I first heard about him almost 10 years ago in my civics class... I hadn't heard much about him after that class. I do mention his name and story when people talk about the other presidential assassins. It's usually something like "You guys forgot the stupidest one ..." The topic usually comes up when talking about the presidents with the shortest term.
Big same
Syphilis can emerge later after it "disappears" as neruo-spyphilis, which can lead to brain damage.
So while it might not have MADE him batshit insane, it certainly didn't help
Fun fact, While working as a banquet Server for Kingsmill Resort in 2016, I delivered food to John Hinkley Jr. The guy who shot Regan.
I always win that round of two truths and a lie.
I'd thank him if I were you lol
"If the duck don't spit, you must acquit"
-Sam O'Nella 2019
No, it's Verbum Dominum.
Quak
*The Bible
Quack quack
O' Nella 69:420
Should’ve just given him the role of informer of deer
Truly, you hold wisdom and insight.
Cherry earrings
Did you just screenshot a discord pfp for your CZcams pfp?
@@jojobod Recycling is good, even if there's smarter ways to go about it
@@jojobod at least he screenshotted a pfp that was pretty good
Fun fact: The other assassin Sam mentioned was Leon Czolgosz, who assassinated president William McKinley
Yeah, but he was just some boring anarchist.
@@alfalldoot6715 he was pretty funny too actually, terminally down bad for emma goldman and clapped mckinley with a dirty rag and a handgun
I first learned about this from the book “The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons”. It gave a lot of insight on what was going on with his brain, as well as numerous other historical stories told from a neurological point of view. I definitely recommend!
This guy's life story is like when you try to mess up as much as possible in a story driven video game.
It's like when you've already sided with every faction in Fallout 4 so you try to beat the game with level 1 speech and being a complete dick to everyone.
Although in fallout 4 being a dick to everyone is the pacifist playthrough
@@bigghoss762 Or when you try and beat a Fallout game with your intelligence at 1.
The player must be Graystillplays
* CallMeKevin has entered the chat *
I never get tired of seeing old characters get recycled into the background of these videos.
Expanding the lore of the Sam O'Nella universe.
It's genuinely funny
It’s the highlight of the videos not gonna lie
The Hatman!
It's like they're all time travellers or something
You missed the part where they couldn't send his body back to his family because they were too poor to afford a funeral so the state decided to bury him in the jailhouse courtyard, but not before giving him an autopsy. During this autopsy it was discovered that Guiteau had a condition which made him unable to retract his foreskin. Its believed that this was the cause to all his insane actions lol
Lmfao
So... phimosis?
I think this story shows that abusive parents truly make a wild animal out of someone and that is what happened in this story and honestly a bit sad knowing a man who could do good was raised by an over religious abuser in his childhood and sadly molded him into the person he was but the things he did were not good and just bad or bizzare
This is a common thing with a lot of the most fucked up people in history: Abusive parents
I don't know, his brother tried to get him to be a functioning member of society. His sister bailed him out of jail and gave him a place to stay. They likely had the same childhood as him and didn't turn out like him. Some people just go off the deep end no matter what.
@@13vatraI’m sorry but that really doesn’t negate anything he said. People are going to be affected differently and be at different levels of adjustment when it comes to abuse even if it is by the same person(and even then we don’t even know if his alive siblings were abused). The point being made here is that he probably wouldn’t have turned out the way he did if he wasn’t abused. Obviously that doesn’t justify the things that he did but my point still stands.
@@digimonlover1632 a lot of people turn out awful even with perfect childhoods. So it's hard to say.
At what point do we just go "yeah, this is your fault. "?
If Onision was born in the 1800's.
Yessssss
Who?
Cedar Franklin, don’t look him up
Bringing back old drama
Lol
“What is the capital of Michigan?”
*”...M?”*
Lansing
@@eeveemcthing2639 wait, really?
@@marcuslaffey1637 yes
eevee mc thing
it's not lansingichigan for a reason... M is correct
@@m5d1e no its the capital of Michigan and dont woosh me
I actually saw an episode of American Dad about Garfield and Guiteau and half wondered if the latter was real (he's portrayed as a raving bearded lunatic and described as a "bloodhound" by the show) and if so, half wondered if he was really that insane
Yes, the answer is very clearly yes
It actually doesn’t take much. Even something like narcissistic abuse with gaslighting being heavily involved in that is enough to make you feel like you’re always doing something wrong. Constantly wanting to seek approval and praise from others that you’re doing a good job. And you don’t need physical violence to get to that point of feeling like you’re worthless and need for other people to acknowledge that you’re doing something right. That’s the scary thing. It could be the most subtle thing like back handed compliments. That being used again and again, especially in front of other people, is enough to get you to doubt yourself enough to the point where you feel like you’re worthless
"Burn in hell, beige dog."
-Garfield
I can’t stop laughing hahaahhahaahha
Lmao
lazanya
apalsnerg wtf that was 2016
@@apalsnerg ok but why
Hitler: Shoots himself
Sam: What a hero
The implication here was actually quite the opposite.
wait so here is hero but not one
I think we should make a statue for the person who killed Hitler
@@acls1239 good idea bro
An hero
Fun fact: The revolver that was used by Guiteau was lost around the early 20th century. Photographs of the image do exist, as they were taken by the Smithsonian.
Guiteau wanting to be remembered in the museum will never be true now.
Fun fact: Garfield is the only US president to contribute anything original to mathematics. When he was a senator, he made an entirely original proof of the Pythagorean Theorem
*Garfield actually dies on a Monday*
We really be out here living in a simulation
@Brandon Clarke President Garfield actually died on Monday, September 19 1881.
@Brandon Clarke Garfield (thr cat) hates monday
Thats probably why garfield hates mondays
*Just like the simulations...*
@@steveboy3712 is Garfield a reincarnated Garfield
"Charles J Gitout"
Damn, even 19th century people were savages
This whole story is savage
Ouch
The art of roasting has been passed down through generations
Imo people back then were way better at roasting and were classy AF while doing it.
Have you guys seen the viral video of the cart going in circles without anybody in it?
czcams.com/video/GfoAzgZOVJs/video.html
I think my favorite part is that Guiteau bought the ivory pistol “so it would look better in a museum” but the Smithsonian promptly lost it anyway lol
He was such a loser, no one ever cared about him in any century
I came to this video after watching a bootleg of the musical “assassins” which is about the nine people who tried to kill a US president. I thought that they must have exaggerated Guiteau a bit but no, he was really like that.
Fun fact: president Garfield could write Greek in one hand and Latin in the other hand at the same time
He'll take a potato chip... AND EAT IT!
I heard the same about jefferson i wonder if that's true or just an urban legend.
@@jeremyphillips3087 Even if it's fake he's still an eccentric scientist with a child murdering sheep. This man needs to make a Thomas Jefferson video.
“Child murdering sheep”
How did we get this information?
I love how the guy literally killed the President for fame, and ended up forgotten
How is he forgotten? There's a nearly 12 minute video about him right here! /s
I'd say that's on par with the rest of his life. Trying to be perfectionist, but failing hard at it.
@@OtakuUnitedStudio Plus he got a major role in a Sondheim musical.
I just got done watching the video and already forgot his name
@@OtakuUnitedStudio
Fair point but we’re all really here for Sam
Not this sad man who’s name I’ve just forgotten lol
Thank you for finally making a video on this one Sam 🙏🙏
That's a lot of information in a short video!
Really well done!
Thanks you
“He killed Garfield”
Oh no not the fat orange cat
No bitch niggas
No snitch niggas
And no bitch ass twitch niggas
Am sorry john
Lol Jon is sad 😂👌
U 2?
@@PP-ky2ji so lezer beam memo
K
Garfield should have just let Charles be the informer of deer, jeez.
Ha! I understood that reference!
Ha! Me too
Ha! Me as well!
Ha! amazing reference that i got! hee hee, hoo hoo, funn-E
@@lemonsmug yes. Very funn-E
"You can't always get what you want, unless what you want is getting everyone to hate you, that's extraordinarily easy"
Well as long as you have goals
1:01 the standard twitter user
u r bad
@@iLikeTheWordRetrogrrrr!
@@nosferattusx2u r mad
@@Walking_Chez69 ye s i m mad
“Shoot your Jizz and out you is”
-The Bible probably
I mean, there's a section where you can't change the Bible, apart from translations, so if you get rid of that part, then you can make your own holy book of NotchristianityIswear
@@jjnn2 so ur saying I'd e get rid of something in the Bible we put our own words in it...hell yes
Not that I'm a fan, cuz I'm not, but that book mentions "onanism," and how it's not to be done.
Not that I'm a fan, cuz I'm not, but that book does mention "onanism," and how it's not to be done.
I know a bible verse that is close! Ezekiel 23:20: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses".
This is real! 😂😂😂
Fun fact: Charles Guiteau’s case was one of the first times a lawyer tried to plead insanity for their client.
1880's asylums were really bad. The courts had mercy on the guy by giving him the death penalty.
This is not a joke by the way. Death was more merciful in those days.
snazzy
@@Gilhelmi lol
The trail of the century.
@@dontreadmydescription4473 ok
Sam i absolutely love your videos. And i appreciate the work you put in to entertain and educate. Hope things build and multiply for you my guy.
Everyone keeps going on about their wish to see the "President Assassins 2: He Killed McKinley Boogaloo".
But I on the contrary, would love to see a video going over all the attempted assassinations on U.S. Presidents.
From Richard Lawrence, the man who tried to assassinate Andrew Jackson and literally thought he was the King Of England, to John Hinckley, the man who shot and tried to kill Ronald Reagan to try and impress a movie actress.
“Dear Garfield, I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’.”
:D
Hats off to ye, me man
Seán Patrick Eckmann I left my telegraph and postal address on the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
Man if culture I see!
Not gonna lie, the letter to his brother was a sick burn.
Like straight savage
Ikr
$7 was a lot of money back then. Especially to send in the mail.
The dumbass should have gotten a job to be fair
@@chadcuckproducer1037 no not really 7 bucks was only 100 dollars
Garfield's death is insane.
A doctor called Doctor Doctor tried helping out.
Physicians were proud of their bloody hands during operations and didn't wear gloves.
He had more than 11 unclean fingers rummaging in his bullet hole.
A.G. Bell invented a metal detector which picked up the bullet, the doctors disputed based on the trajectory, A.G. Bell felt like a failure and made a new "metal" detector, he was right the first time though.
Watching this video again after seeing a production of the musical Assassins. His characterization in that show definitely lines up!
"the assassination nobody talks about"
**talks about it**
that would now be a lie, wouldn't it SAM
My name is nobody, I talk about the assassination all the time. Sam is telling the truth kids!
Sam is a liar confirmed
@@bayareajokester9456 _you cheated the system, what a madlad_
aw shucks
😌 not true
I have a set of silverware that has "oneida community" engraved on the underside from my great grandma...
kodak green you serious that’s nuts
Ur profile pic
Lol
That's because the Oneida silverware company is what the Oneida commune eventually turned into
Kodak you better run
@@leafung8445 Big brain moment
7:26 “Local Man’s speech entirely inconsequential” lol
I fell asleep while watching and was awoken by “DAMN YOU GARFIEELD”
Safe to say it was the scariest experience ive ever had
Fun Fact: The gun was given to Smithsonian Institute, and ironically they lost it a little later
How....how does one lose a gun???
@@arizonagreenbee Ask the government.. they lose nukes all the time
@@KosherPorky oopsie woopsie
@@arizonagreenbee presumably stolen
It appears that my firearm has indistinguishably disappeared from my property
“But the video ended up being way too long” Why is this bad? We love you so much sam
It's bad because it's been like 3 weeks since last video
@@froggyfan but Kreal is worth the wait lol!
He'll make more money w two ten minutes vids than one twenty, not persecuting him for that, he totally deserves it and I'm glad he's doing enough to keep the videos coming
He uplpads so rarely that i would prefer longer vids
This video helped me pass a level 300 college course final on the presidency.
9:09 now I know my birthday is also the birthday of this goofy assassination. wow
Dang, you that old?
@@CrazedKasaJizo not how birthdays work
@@ciphergacha9100 yes it is
@@MackingCheese99 it’s not, birthdays are every year, not the DOB which is only once
@@ciphergacha9100 no it’s not
"What is the capital of Michigan"
"M"
No, no, hes got a point
@@evanginter4462 indeed, technically not wrong.
Apparently there is a city called Ann *Harbor* in Michigan.
Technically
You just made my day Sir good day to you
“They’d even have the middle aged woman train teen boys In the art of holding in the pelvic sneeze” excuse me what
O
Ara ara
Fun fact, Benjamin Franklin wrote to a male acquaintance that he should bang older women instead of younger ones.
“...in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!”
by teen i think they mean 18-19 year olds and not underage folks.
oniicha-
The writing is so good I love this channel 😭😭😭😭😭
The original saul goodman
This is why good mental health and parenting are extremely important.
It would make society less interesting though :(
Yep
@@Dead25m Go to Florida. Its full of..... Interesting
@@_.Leo_. Fair enough.
Some example?
“What’s the Capital of Michigan?”
“M”
He’s technically not wrong though.
1:08
Outstanding move
This is actually genius.
I don't get it.
@Jeffrey Colten Same
@@alexandrub8786 capital M
This was great thank you!
3:46 because of the fact that no one read his newspaper, its extremely valuable
Fun fact: while Garfield was still alive after the shooting, they recruited Alexander Graham Bell to help, after he had offered to test his prototype of an X-ray machine by finding the bullets lodged in the President’s body. Unfortunately, this was the 1800s when people put those horrible metal spring coil things in their mattresses, including Garfield’s bed, meaning the machine just buzzed constantly no matter where Bell tried it. Bell never forgave himself for the incident and gave up on perfecting the X-ray, thus delaying its development for a couple of decades.
Holy crap that's incredible.
that’s definitely a fun fact
I know about that from one of those who was books
@@lilbill7385 ?
@@andreacusack1105 what do you mean
This feels like a walkthrough of bitlife.
The only game where slapping a random person can get the entire military to hunt you around the country
underatted comment
@@anthonygoldstein2584 Thank you friend, I appreciate having any likes :).
True
@@g_gamer3160 np dude
Fun fact: In 1881, the Oneida Community reformed into a fucking silverware company that is STILL AROUND TODAY.
4:59 this actually happened fairly often, the president _would_ give jobs to people who campaigned for them
“S(he) lied”
“He (Killed Garfield)”
But-but- bullets don't work!
S lied He
no one:
14 year old girls: ;(
😭😭😭😭😭 not Garfielddddd he's my favorite cartoon cattt- oh wait you didn't mean the lasagna loving feline? Then who the fuq did you mean!?
Sliedhe
I mean at least he got some college student to make an edgy animation about him like 100 years later
He also got his own song in a Broadway musical.
"Come all ye Christians
And learn from a sinner:
Charlie Guiteau
Bound and determined
He'd wind up a winner
Charlie had dreams
That he wouldn't let go
Said, 'Nothing to it
I want it, I'll do it
I'm Charles J. Guiteau.'
Charlie Guiteau
Never said 'Never'
Or heard the word 'No.'
Faced with disaster
His heart would beat faster
His smile would just grow..."
Bro why are you here
@Леха Федотов s i r w h a t
Who are you?
I was gonna like, but I gotta keep it at 420 likes
Wow…. Just wow. Very entertaining! Keep it up : )
I watched sam when i first joined the army 5 years later im still here learning obscure facts in a fun easy to digest and light hearted manner
The irony is that William McKinley’s assassination could be said to be less talked about now that you didn’t include it in this video
And the assassin, Leon Czolgosz, got to sit in Old Sparky
@Paul Martin yeah what a joke channel. Could've told us the actual name of other one so we could research it ourselves. So much for a proclaimed "intellectual" and educational channel.
@@kishascape if you can’t come across it on your own and research it by yourself, then that’s a you problem
To be fair, Leon Czolgosz is not nearly as interesting as Giteau
@@lukeallen5714 That's some professional level humble spoon-feeding. You must run an orphanage or something.
“His national infamy” *Nobody proceeds to talk about him for the rest of U.S. history*
Ayden Emge god is a funny guy
Less complex method than the murderer of Her Highness Empress Charlotte of Austria who hanged himself after a jailer burned his secret autobiography.
Have you guys seen that trending funny video of that cart that was going in circles meanwhile nobody was in it?
czcams.com/video/GfoAzgZOVJs/video.html
I always come back every month or so the rewatch his vids. I don't care that I've watched them 50 times over they are still funny as hell
My professor started talking about the Oneida commune and I had flashbacks to this video. I’m seriously considering emailing it to him
“Only came with one down side, syphilis, whoops”
He didn't die from it. Soo, win I guess...
Common mistake really
I'll bet no one noticed that he'd come down with syphilis, since he acted no crazier than he did before he contracted it.
"Minister of Chile"
Damn, as a Chilean, that could have been so damn insane, awesome
La media volaita
Wena choro!
Encuentro super bkn encontrar más Chilenos en este canal jajajajaj
Sabía que no era el único chileno que mira a este hueon. Es un genio. Saludos desde Temuco.
@@Ro321chile si jajaja y el otro wn que le volaron la cabeza y se vino a trabajar aqui en otro video del wn
8:18 That's a great Garfield impression there. Also the preceding line from John GetOut gave me a good laugh.
This is my all time favourite Sam O'Nella video. The first few times I watched it I legit forgot the end point of the video, this man's life was such a wild ride.
He attended my high school. . . Wonder why he isn't on the board of notable alumni. . .
Oof
@Paul Martin wat
@@Thedog-1- He ain’t wrong.
@@Thedog-1- Read idiot
@@cortex8239 "read idiot" I've heard better insults in kindie
SAM WE"RE STILL WAITING FOR THE OTHER ASSASSIN
Ayumi Gust-Anderson still waiting.
Nroke1 probably agent-47
Sstttiiilll waiting
He will come soon
It's probably Leon Czolgosz
Roasting eachother about your sins sounds like the most religious thing I've ever heard lol
So glad to see you back! Never ghost us again ok?
I wrote a thesis on president Garfield a few years ago. His entire rise to fame is fucking wild. Here are a few highlights:
- He never wanted to be president, ever.
- He was a general in the civil war and was ready to retire, when Lincoln urged him over several months to become a member of congress in the house
- He was ready to retire when a spot in the senate opened up, and almost every republican in the house and senate pushed for him to take the spot
- After a few years, he was ready to retire as a senator, and was attending one of his last RNCs when he won the primary out of fucking nowhere. He did not run for president, nor was he interested. No one at the RNC liked either candidate, so some of them got together and decided to vote for Garfield, probably as a joke
- When Garfield won the nomination, he was quoted as feeling "sickened and shocked," and did NOTHING to promote himself
- Despite doing NOTHING, he won the presidential election a few months later
- During his inauguration, he basically said the equivalent of "I never wanted to be president ever, not even once."
Garfield's entire political career is fucking bonkers. The strangest part is that he was actually an incredibly well liked president during his short tenure, against all odds. I highly recommend anyone who's interested in him to do more research on him.
That's a marvelous bit of background. Thanks for sharing.
Intelligent people have said that the people most qualified to be president have no desire to be president.
As a U.S. senator from Ohio, Garfield gave speeches on behalf of Secretary of the Treasury John Sherman. Ohio was a must-win state, then as now. The delegates liked the speeches so much that they nominated Garfield instead of Sherman.
The people who should have power are the ones who do not want it.
@@secretlythreeducksinamansu3546 I disagree. Plenty of people who don't want power shouldn't have it either. It's people who desire ultimate power that ultimately should not have it.
Garfield:I don't wanna be president.
God: President it is then.
“A nice christian lady under 30 years old” is the 19th century equivalent to “18-22 year old boyfriend free girl”
Im disappointed I know where thats from
True and honest
you just had to bring him up, didnt you
“Autistic sputtering” I will hunt you down you damn dirty trolls! This is war! “Shitty apache holler”
Oooh, Chris reference. Classic
0:40 that's one thing my town's famous for
I had to do a little presentation about a famous court case in English class and this guy was on the list and I have never been more excited