Cyrax - The King of Akron

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  • čas přidán 13. 09. 2022
  • Today we are looking at my favorite story in the history of Cyrax. The time Marty showed up to Cyrax’s house. Hope y’all enjoy it my friends 💯
    Marty Shows Up To Cyraxs House - • Video
    Music Biz Marty - / channel
    Burger Boy - / channel
    William Gloryhole - / channel
    Unofficial Cyrax Archive - / channel
    Gregg Turkington - / greggturkington1

Komentáře • 902

  • @SmokeyMcC
    @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +203

    Since a lot of y’all have asked, the song in the beginning is “Climb up and get the last Chance” from F-Zero X.
    And yes, I didn’t just use the song because it’s awesome.

    • @darkone45
      @darkone45 Před rokem +4

      I thought it was something from Mega Man at first

    • @TooSweaty7
      @TooSweaty7 Před rokem +19

      Cyrax got all of these trolls hollering his name: Marty, Based Shaman and Smokey must not know who they're dealing with....
      He's the Scalp Scratch'n, Lazy Eye Staring, Sludge Drinking WOO! Sally Slappin, Car Crashin, Music Stealing Son of a Gun!
      And he's having a hard time keeping those bed bugs off him. That's "The Heartless King of Akron" show some damn respect!

    • @TheBurningChicken1
      @TheBurningChicken1 Před rokem +5

      The Cyrax promo go crazy

    • @growmiezhomiez8760
      @growmiezhomiez8760 Před rokem +1

      @SmokeyMcC hey man. I just wanted to say good job on this video. Nice editing. I haven't fkd with Cyraxx to much. Also, I apologize for the comments on that Chris Chan video. I was kinda inebriated and I was probably being a dik. I think that because I know the Chris chan story so well, I just wanted to hear the call. After watching this video, I realized that many other people might WANT the commentary, and I was being selfish... So, I wouldn't be surprised if you still told me to Fuggoff(kick rocks). Your contents legit man. I hope you can forgive my ArseWhole-ishness sir.(sorry fer the Novella my dude...)

    • @reallyriley123
      @reallyriley123 Před rokem +2

      Yo idk if youll see this, i know thats what itr from but my high ass also kept thinkin about this song “toxic avenger” by “the dickies” you should check it out dude it is literally a fucking chance anthem (lyrics wise its based off like the old ass movie about a nuclear mutated person who gets abused by everyone because they are scared so they poke and prod at him and he lashes out to “be left alone” but he always reaches a little too close to humanity to stay away)😂😂

  • @TheShoguneagle
    @TheShoguneagle Před rokem +244

    Little known fact: every ruler has enlisted his own grandmother into the king’s guard.

    • @SetzerII
      @SetzerII Před rokem +29

      Gotta have that morale officer.
      Of course, *most* grandma's cookie recipes don't include meth.

    • @TheShoguneagle
      @TheShoguneagle Před rokem +16

      @@SetzerII Must be an Akron tradition.

    • @legendoffupa
      @legendoffupa Před rokem +11

      Makes sense to me. Granny will leave no snitch standing.
      *pulls out cooking spoon* 🥄

    • @redjirachi1
      @redjirachi1 Před rokem +3

      Some royal grandmas like Victoria were pretty badass tbf

  • @DeltaPi314
    @DeltaPi314 Před rokem +170

    Cyrax doesn't even run the shit running down his stylus.

  • @BaconMaken
    @BaconMaken Před rokem +234

    When it cut to "The next day" with Cyrax crying I absolutely lost it.

    • @jessi9742
      @jessi9742 Před rokem +7

      That killed me! I'm still trying to breathe. 😂

    • @dimetime35c
      @dimetime35c Před rokem +1

      Yeah it was hilarious!!! I wish he had been crying because he got beat to an inch of his life.

    • @TheGhostbusterfan
      @TheGhostbusterfan Před rokem +2

      Just add the narrator from SpongeBob. That would make it perfect.

    • @robertsylvester3542
      @robertsylvester3542 Před rokem +2

      One.. hour.. later …

  • @xaahd1430
    @xaahd1430 Před rokem +215

    Until the words "Chance Wilkins" are uttered by Tucker Carlson, Chris Chan will remain king of the lolcows.

    • @PsychoticBeverage
      @PsychoticBeverage Před rokem +32

      Nah, Tucker would probably think his actual name is Cyrax, like how he seemed to think "Chan" is Chris' actual last name.

    • @AleTitan
      @AleTitan Před rokem +1

      @@PsychoticBeverage Chan sounds like an actual last name, though. Not one that some white obese furry would have, but still a plausible one
      Cyraxx sounds like some type of degreaser or pipe cleaning solution

    • @MJ-mp1fx
      @MJ-mp1fx Před rokem +28

      @@PsychoticBeverage hmmm... any relation to that Four Chan fellow?

    • @unskilledlabor5229
      @unskilledlabor5229 Před rokem

      Maybe he'd put him on bus and send him to Martha's Vineyard.

    • @memelordmarcus
      @memelordmarcus Před rokem +8

      Or Cyrax Wilkins or Chance Cyrax or something

  • @vasco2377
    @vasco2377 Před rokem +638

    You know, some people want Cyraxx to be the next Chris Chan. But he’s a totally different monster. Let’s just let this evolve and see the outcome.

    • @TheRedBaron1917
      @TheRedBaron1917 Před rokem +1

      Chris is just a pathetic quivering blob he can't even stand up in front of the camera to record a video without getting winded. Cyraxx is funny cuz he got the wwe wrestling promos 😂

    • @Wifgargfhaurh
      @Wifgargfhaurh Před rokem +3

      He's like Chris Chan on amphetamines

    • @algoredeeznuts7942
      @algoredeeznuts7942 Před rokem +45

      I feel like KingCobraJFS is a better candidate.

    • @TetsuNideji
      @TetsuNideji Před rokem +42

      This dude still looks like an oblivion create a character lel.

    • @bigdaddydons6241
      @bigdaddydons6241 Před rokem +50

      Nobody is gonna be the "next" Chris, and saying someone is is both dismissing the person and makes you look like you can't comprehend more than one thing at a time

  • @MaddysinLeigh
    @MaddysinLeigh Před rokem +165

    Cyrax: I run shit around here
    Also Cyrax: never leaves house

    • @hassebarkasse6115
      @hassebarkasse6115 Před rokem +15

      guess "around here" means his house

    • @redjirachi1
      @redjirachi1 Před rokem +7

      Cyraxx is the internet tough guy personified. Though even if he was courageous, you know his skinny-ass goblin physique would still lead him to get his ass kicked, so maybe the cowardice works as a defense mechanism

    • @tonythetiger1600
      @tonythetiger1600 Před rokem +8

      The king dosnt have 2 leave his castle n if trouble should arise he sends his grandma out 2 defend tge kingdom

    • @BlackFlagHeathen
      @BlackFlagHeathen Před rokem

      I mean I guess he’s the reclusive Howard Hughes-style billionaire who runs shit from the shadows. Don’t question the king!

  • @irisillychno6189
    @irisillychno6189 Před rokem +400

    Has a real "GET MY HOUSE OFF THE INTERNET, NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!" energy. It's like a fine wine.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +61

      Really does 😂

    • @famouslastwords0791HR
      @famouslastwords0791HR Před rokem +17

      He wants everything about his house OFF -THE-INNERNET!!!!

    • @duncanmcocinner5939
      @duncanmcocinner5939 Před rokem +15

      @@famouslastwords0791HR IM WORKIN ON IT!

    • @mc_zittrer8793
      @mc_zittrer8793 Před rokem +37

      @@duncanmcocinner5939 Do you realize *DO YOU REALIZE* that if you invite Marty to your house for a fight, he might actually show up for a fight?

    • @AdamOwenBrowning
      @AdamOwenBrowning Před rokem +18

      @@mc_zittrer8793 What you've done is stab a stylus in our ass and twist it!
      Do you know what the Akron City Health Department would do when they see this video?

  • @telesticTroublemaker
    @telesticTroublemaker Před rokem +294

    as someone who's trapped in akron, i can confirm that Cyraxx drama encapsulates both Akron and its music scene.

    • @RandomTasck
      @RandomTasck Před rokem +47

      As someone who escaped akron I have to dispute this claim
      Also did not give a single shit about cyrax till I learned he’s from fucking akron and now I gotta go home

    • @TedBundysGhost
      @TedBundysGhost Před rokem +3

      Chance better watch out...SOSF is looking for him...

    • @xXxAngelicKratosxXx
      @xXxAngelicKratosxXx Před rokem +12

      Serious question for you Akron-affiliated folks: what are some places there you love or recommend? Like places to eat, any cool hangout spots or cafés? Rest easy friends, and have a good night’s sleep!

    • @telesticTroublemaker
      @telesticTroublemaker Před rokem +21

      @@xXxAngelicKratosxXx Walking through old town is fun, if just to look at the architecture. There isn't really anything that's a bad option, just nothing particularly good. Just avoid Cyraxx's neighbourhood, he lives in a bad part of town.

    • @MastemaJack
      @MastemaJack Před rokem +2

      @@TedBundysGhost whats SOSF?

  • @demonbasher4426
    @demonbasher4426 Před rokem +66

    King of Akron? Well I guess Cyraxx does look inbred enough to be royalty…

  • @frederiqueschmatt2813
    @frederiqueschmatt2813 Před rokem +31

    As an akronite, it feels good knowing i have a strong ruler.

  • @jbBehemoth
    @jbBehemoth Před rokem +150

    Cyraxx looks like a clone that came out of the chamber way before the cloning process was completed

    • @eschcal9839
      @eschcal9839 Před rokem +12

      We found the missing link between humanity and a puddle of chemical soupy slime and living organisms we evolved from. It was during an excavation of the ruins known as Akron, as researchers and archeologists were working on the remains prehistoric Akron that were forced into the earth by a giant space rock. His primitive brain and tissue cells were like his skull - incredibly simple, and very very thick.
      So he survived being frozen during the Dreamwatch of Time, while the planet slept and dreamed, when life still dreamed during the eons, dreamed of one day become an intelligent form of life that flew in the skies and walked the earth. Cyrax is that step right before human brain cells were a thing. His brain is 80 percent bugs, mud and sticks that somehow function together like a maddened hivemind. The other 20 percent has yet to be identified.

    • @jbBehemoth
      @jbBehemoth Před rokem +4

      @@eschcal9839 this is some amazing lore. You should make this into something! Such a great origin

    • @jbBehemoth
      @jbBehemoth Před rokem +6

      @@eschcal9839 SCP-3333 Cyraxx

    • @Jesus-H.-Christ
      @Jesus-H.-Christ Před rokem +3

      He looks like a Tim Burton Oompa Loompa got addicted to meth, was locked in Wonka's basement for fifty years and has only just started to go through withdrawal

    • @jbBehemoth
      @jbBehemoth Před rokem +1

      @@Jesus-H.-Christ he escaped through a dirty dimensional rift created by Chris Chan

  • @TheJericho1123
    @TheJericho1123 Před rokem +103

    i love how chance also blames storms cutting his internet when he craps his pants.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +14

      😂😂 facts

    • @lorenpingle5350
      @lorenpingle5350 Před rokem +18

      Meth goblins always blame something else for their issues. Accountability is their most humiliating weakness.

    • @Shawnsatisfiedwife
      @Shawnsatisfiedwife Před rokem

      My thoughts on that is how loose is his ass 😭

  • @rykerblade_snb
    @rykerblade_snb Před rokem +49

    Just one time I need Marty to stand outside clapping some empty bottles saying “Cyyyyraaaaax! Come out and Plaaaaaaayyyyyy!”

  • @zanephillips126
    @zanephillips126 Před rokem +30

    Cyrax always brings up how Marty’s fucking with his family but Sally’s probably had more pleasant conversations with Marty then she’s ever had with Cyrax

  • @ClydeCashCwCville
    @ClydeCashCwCville Před rokem +28

    Dude looks like when you customize a character and mess up all the settings on purpose to get the strangest appearance possible

  • @happylizard08
    @happylizard08 Před rokem +67

    I cant believe I used to live close to this guy. The fact that he is from Akron makes SO much more sense. Jfc.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +18

      That’s brutal my friend 😂

    • @DrRyan82994
      @DrRyan82994 Před rokem +6

      oh oh no. i had no idea this was living here. i fucking hate it

    • @jaykayguns
      @jaykayguns Před rokem +5

      All of ohio. Never ceases to surprise me 😂

    • @Honey_Daddy
      @Honey_Daddy Před rokem

      I didn't know Ohio made swamp creatures like him. I thought only West Virginia had inbred monsters, but he proved I didn't know how many cryptids existed in Ohio. They have goblins, what else do they have? I'll have to see.

    • @evirareid1500
      @evirareid1500 Před rokem +4

      I live 50 miles from Chris. I could have seen him any time.

  • @Stongna_Bologna
    @Stongna_Bologna Před rokem +40

    Cyrax is like if Cwc went really deep into a 3 doors down and Linkin Park phase. He's much edgier and where Chris likes to be perceived as young at heart I believe cyrax would take that as a deep insult

    • @eschcal9839
      @eschcal9839 Před rokem +8

      I'd say Cyrax is far more violent and attempts to be vicious much harder than CWC. Repeats the same lines of belligerence daily over and over for hours on end. He get so caught up in death threats and insults he gets the gender of who he rants about mixed up. CWC saw magical ponys and hedgehogs. Cyrax just sees trolls under every bed, in his closet, in his head. He looks around the room like he's addressing multiple copies of the same 3 trolls laughing at him and sees them doing what he accuses them of, when its utter deflection and gaslighting.
      Both are the highest tier of cowards. They talk smack, like DSP too, and like DSP can't confront people after doing so. He nopes out. Cyrax, I think his life IS the internet and the drama he creates. He wants the attention. How he whines and says "you ruined my life", Cyrax literally means his online image. We know he isn't working a day of his life, ever.

    • @joshshrum2764
      @joshshrum2764 Před rokem +2

      He’s a edgy teen, but Chris is a young child, and dsp plays a fake adult man.

  • @Honey_Daddy
    @Honey_Daddy Před rokem +46

    Cyrax always calls people "kid", but it's a bit ironic because he's talking to adults, some older than him, and he's the one who is the size of a kid and his two brain cells function like that of a kid when they're not busy beating each other up trying to end the torment of existing in chance's body.

    • @snooganslestat2030
      @snooganslestat2030 Před rokem +8

      I saw one video where hes calling Marty an old man & saying that hes past it etc....Marty is approx 5yrs older than him lol.

    • @thegreatape884
      @thegreatape884 Před rokem +1

      You're so close. so, so close, i bet you can see it but can't quite figure it out, but you're really close.

  • @slayerking88
    @slayerking88 Před rokem +90

    I like the fact that Cyrax believes that Marty and his friends shot a random kid and that Marty was planning on shooting him instead.

    • @marshall1093
      @marshall1093 Před rokem +14

      They just had to test out some munitions and the 8 year old wandering to a convenience store happened to be the right target to try that day.

  • @CaptainMonotone448
    @CaptainMonotone448 Před rokem +36

    "Chance likes to dance, and pull down his pants. But we'll get to that."
    ...I mean, do we have to?

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +19

      Absolutely

    • @eschcal9839
      @eschcal9839 Před rokem

      I'd love to be cute and say he has ants in those pants, but we all know the ants are crawling around in his skull and making malformed anthills out of the guys head.

    • @domeplsffs
      @domeplsffs Před rokem +3

      @@SmokeyMcC Oh boii, here we go again xD

    • @CaptainMonotone448
      @CaptainMonotone448 Před rokem +2

      @@SmokeyMcC Stress sigh

  • @BeatsByZ3P0
    @BeatsByZ3P0 Před rokem +107

    I gotta say Smoke, thanks for introducing me to this absolute specimen and the cast of characters that surrounds him. I became a fan of yours for the chris chan shit but I ended up staying for Cyraxx and the Smoke Show. Funniest monster since Jonathan Ross

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +14

      Definitely agree with you bro, this is the most fun I’ve had watching a cow since ole Ross. Thanks for the kind words 💯

    • @TheMindIlluminated
      @TheMindIlluminated Před rokem

      Isn’t Ross still in a mental hospital?

    • @KimiShea
      @KimiShea Před rokem

      I hy does he say ohhey lol

  • @depressedrabbit3381
    @depressedrabbit3381 Před rokem +12

    I swear to god. The more I watch this the more I fall in love with marty. He's like the kindest, gentlest, most patient troll I've ever seen while still having a great sense of humor and not being bohered at all by this. Forget trolling can we be friends, Marty?

  • @Ricky_Grade10
    @Ricky_Grade10 Před rokem +31

    POS literally just got busted again today hitting on a 17yo. Big up King Gloryhole, shout out MBM and most importantly shout out homegirl Kate at Masshole. TMDWU

  • @c1rcl3s
    @c1rcl3s Před rokem +71

    I've been to Akron a bunch of times, it's desolate. He might actually be the most interesting thing there.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +15

      😂😂 that’s high praise

    • @eschcal9839
      @eschcal9839 Před rokem +6

      Land and housing is pretty dirt cheap there. We got a well off landlord who likes us, so we pay 500 a month rent for a 2 story house with full basement and attic, and a brand new AC and heating system. Its a special circumstance - in theory, this home should of been condemned. The sheriff runs a racket where he gets homes condemned and has gotten many homes dirt cheap in the neighborhood that way. I'd still rather live here than Akron.
      Poor bastard of a sheriff blew a gasket - we just ignored him and moved in without giving him a chance to interfere. He couldn't do anything - he would be exposed. Real story - my best friend literally hacked him and uncovered the scams he runs. But they rigged up the old heater, the past residents, to literally cook crack on/in it - everything cleaned up real well, nobody got sick.
      But man, even after sitting empty for 10 years, it took some doing to carefully clean. You'd never even know it was a literal crack house. Can't beat that anywhere, even Akron. You statistically have roughly a 1 in 100 chance every day of being the victim of violent crime in Akron. It was beat down, dangerous, nasty and cheap well over 3 decades ago. Its a well built home. Its a shame other homes sit empty because of stupid people and corrupt politicians.

    • @ExcessOL
      @ExcessOL Před rokem +2

      Truth

    • @wil.d_sage
      @wil.d_sage Před rokem +3

      he's Akron's major tourist attraction

    • @cachemymemory
      @cachemymemory Před rokem +1

      Lebron James?

  • @antonydrossos5719
    @antonydrossos5719 Před rokem +8

    7:15 Whenever 'rax says "This video won't be very long", that's when you know to get the popcorn

  • @thatonechick1318
    @thatonechick1318 Před rokem +86

    To be fair, from someone who was raised in Ohio, it wouldn't take much to be the "king" of Akron.

    • @DSPHistoricalSociety
      @DSPHistoricalSociety Před rokem +10

      Tbf it sounds like a title one would at least have to sell car parts or sausages to earn

    • @justkonidog
      @justkonidog Před rokem +4

      As someone who lives in ohio still, fully agree with this

    • @wangcockdickspecker622
      @wangcockdickspecker622 Před rokem +2

      I'm a Cincinnati native an never been to Akron

    • @coolmobkenny3038
      @coolmobkenny3038 Před rokem

      don't care much.. but this is kinda offensive 😐

    • @fyb3rotik
      @fyb3rotik Před rokem +4

      I live in Akron, wild place

  • @thecrock2474
    @thecrock2474 Před rokem +2

    Hes such a smoke blower, guy talks himself up all tough.

  • @banipal9411
    @banipal9411 Před rokem +28

    Burger boys laugh is like sweet nectar to the ears

    • @PEACEOUTPAT
      @PEACEOUTPAT Před rokem +7

      depends on where you hear it. If I heard that laugh echoing through an alleyway between 2am and 4am I would probably shit my pants

    • @Jst.a.Normal.Bottle.of.Mustard
      @Jst.a.Normal.Bottle.of.Mustard Před rokem +5

      It also cured Heather's Cancer

  • @damightybenstein
    @damightybenstein Před rokem +8

    Who's here after Marty put that little vitch in his place?

  • @unluckychoices
    @unluckychoices Před rokem +24

    my favorite part about Cyrax is that he's all bark and absolutely no bite.

    • @funnelchairman1732
      @funnelchairman1732 Před rokem +6

      Hard to bite anything when your teeth look like that.

    • @snooganslestat2030
      @snooganslestat2030 Před rokem +3

      Just as well, pretty sure a mere mortal would contract a previously unknown & incurable disease from a Cyrax bite. 🤮

    • @CharlieMartini6
      @CharlieMartini6 Před rokem +2

      Imagine the infection the bite would have 😂

    • @tehhotline4225
      @tehhotline4225 Před rokem +1

      Unless your a little girl

  • @overlookers
    @overlookers Před rokem +20

    *_Hail Cryax, First of His Name, King of The Akron and The Fist Men_*

  • @Deadman1000
    @Deadman1000 Před rokem +9

    As tough as he claims to be, Cyraxx cries more than a Lifetime movie.

  • @konstankastovski4069
    @konstankastovski4069 Před rokem +20

    I worked in Ohio and Akron is actually full of smart people, Akron uni is actually very hard to get in to: unfortunately cyrax sullied the reputation with his presence lol

    • @cachemymemory
      @cachemymemory Před rokem +1

      Billionaire Lebron James gives the city a good reputation

    • @willman4631
      @willman4631 Před rokem

      everybody and there mom can get into akron

    • @Shalyn-ln9tu
      @Shalyn-ln9tu Před rokem +1

      @@cachemymemory um, no? I feel like those who reference LeBron don't actually understand how little to no influence he actually has in the city. No one has ever cared.

  • @Honey_Daddy
    @Honey_Daddy Před rokem +24

    Don't forget, Juggalo John also "pulled up" when cyrax challenged him to fight, and again, chance hid and called the cops and then later tried to retcon it and claimed he showed up. He always does that. "I showed up. I didn't know he was coming. He showed up with 4 cars of people. My family called the cops and told him to leave. My family never told me he was here." All of those excuses can be in the exact same statement. Doesn't need to make sense. They're all lies.

    • @eschcal9839
      @eschcal9839 Před rokem +3

      If I was his daddy, I'd throw his ass outside like the cat in the Flintstones opening song. "Willlma!!!!" *Gratuitous punching sound effects and simp crying* "someone save me, call the cops on the people I literally invited to come here! REEE!!!"

    • @Honey_Daddy
      @Honey_Daddy Před rokem +1

      @@eschcal9839 xD REEEEEE!

    • @MastemaJack
      @MastemaJack Před rokem +2

      I'd love to fight cyrax. Hell I'll even do a weight cut to 120. I'd have to eat a burger or less a day for a few months to drop anymore weight.

    • @Honey_Daddy
      @Honey_Daddy Před rokem

      @@MastemaJack he's around 100 lbs if I remember correctly. And I've been dreaming of beating the piss out of Cyrax also, but I'm 6 ft 1 and 200 lbs, so I'd literally kill the goblin.

    • @MastemaJack
      @MastemaJack Před rokem +1

      @@Honey_Daddy I'm only 5'10 and about 160 now lost about 20 pounds. But I've been at my lowest 115. I think most guys who have been in a fight would kill him.

  • @van4195
    @van4195 Před rokem +4

    I LOST IT AT "BONE STRUCTURE OF THE GLASS BONE GUY FROM SPONGEBOB"

  • @zackdiazabiblio9592
    @zackdiazabiblio9592 Před rokem +6

    Cyrax is the fentanyl of lolcows

  • @_UR-MOM______
    @_UR-MOM______ Před rokem +14

    Oh god you know i'm fuckin ready. Bring on the goblin fever baby.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +2

      Hope you enjoyed it brotha 💯 thanks as always for the support

    • @_UR-MOM______
      @_UR-MOM______ Před rokem +1

      @@SmokeyMcC thank you for making videos!! Hope you enjoy the rest of your day man :^)

  • @joosmun4009
    @joosmun4009 Před rokem +12

    I feel ashamed I live not even an hour away from this man

    • @tonythetiger1600
      @tonythetiger1600 Před rokem

      Take the pilgrimage bro u owe it 2 us all .....chancey is hillarious I really want 2 see him fight

  • @mrsauceman6825
    @mrsauceman6825 Před rokem +9

    Cyraxs weird wheeze when he says 4 words when he’s kinda mad will always be fucken hilarious

  • @RavenhallowGrey
    @RavenhallowGrey Před rokem +39

    This one feels in particular like a story you know well but you're just excited to listen to your funny bro tell it again. Love your vids, Smokey

  • @NessWithABeard
    @NessWithABeard Před rokem +6

    Akron seems to have gotten their own version of King Charles II of Spain if we're supposed to take Cyraxx's word.

  • @maliciousfemale
    @maliciousfemale Před 2 měsíci +3

    Cyraxx had the fashion sense, musical talent, and cadence of a 13 year old boy.

  • @chopshop94
    @chopshop94 Před rokem +20

    Wait…
    we lost Worman Bjornson?! That’s it. I’m ending it. They were the last thing holding my fragile mind together.

  • @mc_zittrer8793
    @mc_zittrer8793 Před rokem +44

    Gotta say Smokey, you're really coming into your own with these documentary videos. Not just with your style and delivery, but also your writing. Granted, if you're speaking all these lines just off the cuff then you're a GOD, but if it's written, it's still very good work. Can't be easy making videos this long on ol' Chance here, lol.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +11

      😂😂 thank you bro but this wasn’t written. I’ve only written two videos and they were my meet the lolcow videos on Ross and wings. But fr again thank you for the supportive words it means a lot

    • @toolatetothestory
      @toolatetothestory Před rokem +3

      @@SmokeyMcC Yoooo.
      You should do stand up comedy, you're a quick thinker.
      And especially if you're on weed while doing some of the videos. Like isn't weed supposed to mellow you out xD
      What kind of bangers do just shoot out in casual conversation then xD

    • @Howdypartner69420
      @Howdypartner69420 Před rokem +1

      He’s just another Jamari or Sensitive Society, with WAAAY less topics and subs lol

    • @MastemaJack
      @MastemaJack Před rokem +2

      @@Howdypartner69420 I don't know the first person but no Smokey isn't like sensitive.

    • @joshshrum2764
      @joshshrum2764 Před rokem +1

      That intro got me hyped even for a lame guy like cyraxx.

  • @teetoxxic
    @teetoxxic Před rokem +6

    My pops often goes to Akron… maybe I’ll have to tag along and pull up on Cyrax like MbM

  • @PhantomAarantula
    @PhantomAarantula Před rokem +4

    Cyrax - The (Former) King of Akron

  • @evirareid1500
    @evirareid1500 Před rokem +12

    You've the best timing on CZcams. I am high as balls, just sat down at my favorite buffet. This is seriously so on time.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +3

      Thank you my friend and enjoy that buffet bro I wish I was there with you

    • @SDCLowriders2
      @SDCLowriders2 Před rokem

      Same here.

    • @evirareid1500
      @evirareid1500 Před rokem +1

      @@mollymcginnis5348 oh, no. I have over ear headphones 😭 I just listen and put my phone down. I made that mistake once.....ONCE.

  • @Cowboybebub
    @Cowboybebub Před rokem +7

    God damn man 30 sec in and already fucking dying. "Around here, I rule shit". Cyraxx's flair for comedy and irony rivals Shakespeare

  • @shadowbanned1999
    @shadowbanned1999 Před rokem +8

    One day long after cyrax, Chris Chan and all of us are dead the internet archeologist will unearth Smokey's videos and will study them to understand what we are doing and where we went wrong with our society at this point in time. And the myths about the internet goblin that rages at everyone and lives a pointless existence will be proven to be based off of a true individual. It will be like finding the first ever bible stories in a cave and I'm all for it

  • @ladallia6832
    @ladallia6832 Před rokem +16

    Finally able to smoke weed again for the first time in 5 months. I'll be lighting one up for you Smokwy. Thanks for giving me something to laugh to while I'm blitzed

    • @reallyriley123
      @reallyriley123 Před rokem +1

      Lol i always start his vids after my 2-3rd dab and will have 2-3 more and chill and stay GASSED GEEKIN bro😂 then just checking the comments talking to people bout my highdeas about the vid😂

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +2

      Saw you in chat asking what the song was. F-Zero X - climb up and get the last chance

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +4

      Love to hear it Brotha💯 hope you enjoyed the video and the smoke

    • @reallyriley123
      @reallyriley123 Před rokem

      @@SmokeyMcC tyty

    • @masaokakihara9316
      @masaokakihara9316 Před rokem

      Don't do drugs, man. Drink a protein shake and watch it in the Gym instead..

  • @GameAlicornLuna
    @GameAlicornLuna Před rokem +13

    Akron!? He's in AKRON!?

    • @NekoDavid
      @NekoDavid Před rokem

      LLoyd Street Akron Ohio.
      You can look up all the police calls and visits. They labeled him as a mentally disturbed person earlier this year and he's so pissed about it rofl.

    • @GameAlicornLuna
      @GameAlicornLuna Před rokem +5

      @@NekoDavid GAH! I thought he lived like in Iowa or Kansas or something! I'm just now learning that he lives within 15 minutes of my house!!

    • @GameAlicornLuna
      @GameAlicornLuna Před rokem +2

      @@Cuyt24 Gah is an expression of shock and terror.
      And I'm not taking time out of my day to go throw rocks at his place! I got more important things to do like point and laugh at him while he makes a complete fool of himself.

    • @GameAlicornLuna
      @GameAlicornLuna Před rokem +3

      @@Cuyt24 That might be very difficult as I am a guy and I don't look that good in heels.

    • @GameAlicornLuna
      @GameAlicornLuna Před rokem +1

      @@Cuyt24 Dude, I'm not going to his house to beat him up. I already knows that he hides in the closet whenever someone looks in his general direction with a funny look and in some cases, not with a funny look.

  • @collinsjames7518
    @collinsjames7518 Před rokem +3

    Those punches are as intimidating as a spatula scooping out the last bits of food from a glass casserole dish.

  • @Jesus-H.-Christ
    @Jesus-H.-Christ Před rokem +7

    There's only one King I bow to, and it certainly ain't him!

    • @AleTitan
      @AleTitan Před rokem

      Our CPU Goddess?

    • @DSPHistoricalSociety
      @DSPHistoricalSociety Před rokem

      Yo props Jesus woop woop

    • @Jesus-H.-Christ
      @Jesus-H.-Christ Před rokem +1

      @@AleTitan No, my child, Chris Chan is trying to steal my identity, do not fall for their darn dirty tricks

  • @rorystfu
    @rorystfu Před rokem +7

    There is police bodycam footage of Chance from the incident where a kid got gunned down. It's freaking hilarious (not the incident, just how he conducts himself... reminded me of Damien Mizdow).

  • @BigStiffWilly
    @BigStiffWilly Před rokem +12

    your videos are getting so much better quality as they go on mate, keep it up sicko.

  • @greentwo6845
    @greentwo6845 Před rokem +3

    Hes a fucking human Chihuahua in both appearance, physical build, and personality.

  • @travey2390
    @travey2390 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Whips out his burd online to where potential kids could see... Ahhh yes exactly what a predator would do!

  • @reallyriley123
    @reallyriley123 Před rokem +2

    When cyrax said “I KNEW THEM BOIS WERE MEANT FOR ME!”
    I’d like to believe he is talking about the 13 year olds not the shooters😂

  • @Kitykitycoco
    @Kitykitycoco Před rokem +13

    This just confirms to me that living in close proximity to lake eerie mutates people

    • @EricOsaer
      @EricOsaer Před rokem +2

      We're all a little messed up over here by Lake Erie don't come this way

    • @joosmun4009
      @joosmun4009 Před rokem

      definitely

  • @PEACEOUTPAT
    @PEACEOUTPAT Před rokem +8

    In all seriousness, Cyrax could be the star of some garbage amateur wrestling league somewhere

  • @ARYouTube79
    @ARYouTube79 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Cryax jumping to show his meat had me wheezing 😭😭

  • @unclemeag7050
    @unclemeag7050 Před 5 měsíci +1

    The RIP old king of Akron almost ripped my stomach open from laughing so hard

  • @cameronl1859
    @cameronl1859 Před rokem +14

    I'd pay to watch Cyrax boxing or in the UFC.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +2

      Same here easily

    • @HollyKost
      @HollyKost Před rokem +1

      Coolman Caravan offered

    • @aldopacheco8970
      @aldopacheco8970 Před rokem +1

      I would pay to see him audition for American idol or americas got talent so Simon cowell can roast his “singing”. Imagine how he would react

    • @lv7603
      @lv7603 Před rokem +1

      The limited arm movement would an interesting sight.

    • @Frosthorne
      @Frosthorne Před rokem

      Cyrax might fare as well as CM Punk did in his first match

  • @sunfishdinner
    @sunfishdinner Před rokem +6

    Knowing Cyrax lives in my home town ruined my day

  • @Loader2K1
    @Loader2K1 Před rokem +2

    In my personal opinion, Cyrax, like Chris Chan, is one of those people that has never truly been "humbled," and by "humbled," I mean has never truly never received an ass-whooping, neither by parental discipline, crossing the line with other people around him, nor karmic discipline. Although he's been outed as a Geppetto a few times, has he ever truly been arrested and prosecuted for it? In any case, when Cyrax DOES receive karmic punishment (i.e., "what goes around comes around"), I hope he's dumb enough to post it online for the free world to see. Great video as always.

  • @KartMarisa
    @KartMarisa Před 6 měsíci +2

    Just discovered this playlist. Simultaneously pathetic and hilarious, and its one of those stories where you dont feel bad for Cyraxx cause hes a terrible person.

  • @BlackFlagHeathen
    @BlackFlagHeathen Před rokem +3

    Burger Boy has the most contagious laugh. 💀💀💀

  • @DocHolliday1851
    @DocHolliday1851 Před rokem +3

    Lol, Chance never even knew Zak Husein. He heard the guy was taken out one night while he was working at his family's pizza shop. Chance is known for using awful situations & tragedies while putting on his "tribute attic concerts". Everyone knows it's really an act and for attention.

    • @DocHolliday1851
      @DocHolliday1851 Před rokem

      There are news articles on google about what happened with Zak.

  • @infiresmanyeah4725
    @infiresmanyeah4725 Před rokem +2

    As somebody who grew up in Akron it’s nice to see our king get some much deserved attention!

  • @asdf9890
    @asdf9890 Před rokem +2

    This was one of the best cyrax vids I’ve seen so far. Hilarious 😂

  • @ChrisC-qh4io
    @ChrisC-qh4io Před rokem +3

    The king of Sally's attic or basement. His friend who he respects that he said died of an OD said hi to him one time at the most. Every time someone dies who he so much has seen in person was his best friend/wife. There was a disabled girl he "dated" in high school that died after not talking to him for years he said she would be his wife if she was still alive lol. Heaven is full of people screaming no im not or I only said hi to you when chance talks about them. Rest in peace Zach Hussain we know he was never your friend.

    • @AleTitan
      @AleTitan Před rokem

      Cyraxx is acting like Evan from Dear Evan Hansen, minus the fabricating-emails-from-this-deceased-person-I-knew-by- name-and-face-only part

  • @PabsoDesign
    @PabsoDesign Před rokem +4

    Of course is a king! A rat king

    • @lmno567
      @lmno567 Před rokem

      Wouldn't be surprised if there was one in that gretchin's room.

  • @dimetime35c
    @dimetime35c Před rokem +1

    I laugh anytime chance tries talking tough. We've seen how he fights. He hides in the attic and sends granny out to deal with it. In all reality anyone could break him in half

  • @cain8134
    @cain8134 Před rokem +7

    Yo you got to do some more Cyraxx , especially the freak out on the discord server bout his channel.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +1

      That’s later this week 💯

  • @blinkspot2667
    @blinkspot2667 Před rokem +12

    Dude, my uncle lives in Akron. I wonder if he's seen this weirdo around.

    • @Deadvenuz
      @Deadvenuz Před rokem +3

      I'm so sorry.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +11

      Your uncle is safe, cyrax doesn’t leave his attic, plus sunlight is one of his weaknesses

    • @joosmun4009
      @joosmun4009 Před rokem

      @@SmokeyMcC I thought cyrax only hid in his basement lmfao

    • @ExcessOL
      @ExcessOL Před rokem

      @@joosmun4009 Nah, he needs the attic rats as his food supply.

  • @NessWithABeard
    @NessWithABeard Před rokem +1

    Has anyone else noticed how there seemed to be phlegm in Cyrax's throat most of the time he takes
    a breather every time he yells at Marty? It's both hard to take him seriously hearing that and it just gives
    me the impression that he just needs to stop getting so angry over people giving him a hard time.

  • @AK-ec1uw
    @AK-ec1uw Před rokem

    Beautiful job. You have the greatest most interesting once in a lifetime story to tell & you do a masterful job. I laughed so much. Cheers

  • @scalyschisms6263
    @scalyschisms6263 Před rokem +3

    Belial will emerge from his Basket Case in Ackran at any time to unleash a fight promo.

  • @DejectedOfficial
    @DejectedOfficial Před rokem +6

    If anyone can find the video where he said I ruined his life bc I wouldn't let him be on my team, I would greatly appreciate it 🤣

  • @dracothegolden
    @dracothegolden Před rokem +1

    I have seen this video at least 20 times and each time it's just as amazing and funny as the first time I saw it. Smokey has a way with making timeless videos that are entertaining no matter how many times you watch it.

  • @howtoclosethedoor7516

    Just found your channel yesterday and I now have a shit ton of content to keep me entertained throughout my workdays for the next couple weeks. Great videos Smokey 👍🏻

  • @MexicanJay-zp7ce
    @MexicanJay-zp7ce Před rokem +4

    Cyrax is a class act

  • @shadowdoomdread
    @shadowdoomdread Před rokem +4

    I went to school with this guy, not even kidding.

    • @SmokeyMcC
      @SmokeyMcC  Před rokem +1

      With cyrax? That’s hilarious 😂 was he anything like this in his school days

    • @shadowdoomdread
      @shadowdoomdread Před rokem +1

      @@SmokeyMcC he always made the excuse that his weird voice is because when he was a baby he tried to eat a light bulb but it broke in his mouth. He was also a huge my little pony fan. He was still so cringe, he called me scudaloo or some shit. No one liked him so the next year he moved back to where ever he came from. I never really realized chance was cyrax. He always sounded familiar till I finally heard his name. (For context I knew him for one year in middle school.)

  • @QuietResent
    @QuietResent Před rokem +1

    What I enjoyed the most about this video is I'm a UFC fan and the references and jokes made it totally worth it for me

  • @joshhacker8503
    @joshhacker8503 Před rokem +2

    Cyraxx must think of himself as being ballzy.

  • @DaShoopdahoop
    @DaShoopdahoop Před rokem +4

    Smokey change the title to (former) king lmao

  • @Tetodash
    @Tetodash Před rokem +3

    I’m pretty sure Lebron James is the king of Akron but ok

  • @spaceinvader9815
    @spaceinvader9815 Před 3 měsíci +2

    He’s the king of the local dump.

  • @ehatashita
    @ehatashita Před rokem +1

    Thanks for introducing to this cow smokey makes me feel a lot better about my life

  • @Spectralhyena
    @Spectralhyena Před rokem +2

    I ain’t far from Akron boy! I might come holler at you in your driveway boy!

  • @StJ-dt1xn
    @StJ-dt1xn Před rokem +1

    Your videos are comfy as hell man

  • @joshshrum2764
    @joshshrum2764 Před rokem

    Holy hell Smokey you are wildling with that intro one of the very best intros you’ve ever done even better than the Wingsofredemption one because the f zero x climb up, for last chance was a perfect choice for cutting a wrestling promo.

  • @spaceinvader9815
    @spaceinvader9815 Před 10 měsíci +1

    In history, there was a king of Jerusalem that was a leper. Despite his disease, he still ran his kingdom with wisdom and poise, even riding into battle with his soldiers despite being blind in one eye and unable to use his right hand. A leper was a better king than cyrax would ever be.

  • @bigsalad3936
    @bigsalad3936 Před rokem +1

    Wasn’t expecting that Chael Sonnen reference 😂😂

  • @donkedonkeh6211
    @donkedonkeh6211 Před rokem

    Another one i missed premier because of work. Awesome vid tho smokey keep it up!

  • @Chronoic
    @Chronoic Před rokem +1

    IMO I think the truth is what Sally/Cyraxx told Connie (after Marty left Cyraxx's house). Cyraxx told Connie, he plan to have Marty show up and have cops waiting for him to arrest him. But, the cops didn't show up making him mad, but he didn't want to go out side without the cops because of fear, so he sent Sally and Edd out there. He lied to save face, but he didn't expect Marty to stream the visit, and once he found it out (after he stream about going out to look for Marty) He needed to make up excuses, then he assume people will take his mom word, and ask his mom to pretend she didn't inform Cyraxx, and Cyraxx didn't know Marty was out there. His current lie about this today is, he knew Marty was out there, but his mom protected Marty from getting beat up by not letting Cyraxx go out there, and the police call Cyraxx made early that day to cops was on another troll (Even tho Cyraxx, gives the cops Marty's name, and internet name on the call) that was coming out that day, and the police had just taken that troll away before Marty showed up.

  • @eccohpeach6961
    @eccohpeach6961 Před rokem +1

    I’ve only learnt about Cyrax recently after Chris chan went to prison. Love your vids as they give more context to all the classic moments

  • @tylertheguy3160
    @tylertheguy3160 Před rokem +1

    Five feet tall
    Skinny as a rail
    Not exactly the picture of health
    Makings of a UFC legend right here.

  • @tenebrismedia3318
    @tenebrismedia3318 Před rokem +1

    If he's a king, that makes him "Charles II of Akron."