r/Maliciouscompliance I Almost Got Stabbed Working on Black Friday!
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 1. 08. 2021
- r/Maliciouscompliance In today's story, we've got a customer who's so angry that he won't even let OP walk to the front of the check-out line to open a register. The guy screams at OP to go to the back of the line even though OP works there. That thread turns into a conversation about the horrors of working retail during Black Friday, and how one person almost got stabbed over a $50 CD player. If you like this content, subscribe for more daily Reddit stories!
đ r/Maliciouscompliance Mom: "DON'T DISCIPLINE MY CHILD!" Babysitter: "lol ok" âą r/Maliciouscompliance ...
linktr.ee/rslash
#reddit #maliciouscompliance #funnyredditposts
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Young rSlash: if a volcano erupts, you're probably dead
Teacher: đ€š
young rSlash: why are you booing me, I'm right
"If it erupts nearby, don't go near it either" i would've added that
I wonder if he has that assignment framed
What to do in the event of a Volcanic Eruption...
It's simple, IF you survived the initial Eruption Event (like so many people didn't when Mount Saint Helen's exploded sideways), you semi-calmly move AWAY from the red glowing stuff moving down the side of the volcano burning everything in its path as quickly as you can...
AKA YOU RUN THE FUCK AWAY!!!
đđđđ đđ€Ł
@@HappilyHomicidalHooligan If you got time you can even drive to keep your car and get away faster! :D
I would have just said "If you are experiencing a volcanic eruption, drop what you are doing and pray. If you survive, then it worked. If it doesn't work, then pray that your death won't be too painful"
"I got an A on that paper."
*Everyone liked that*
Well call me everyone because I liked that
Both the fact that he got an A and your comment in two ways
@@error_1578 Hi everyone, I am dad
Correct
@@captainb4 hi dad, I am dead
People on Thanksgiving Day: "I'm thankful for what I have!"
People on Thanksgiving night: "GTFO!!! I'M GETTING THAT XBOX!!!"
Or the ps5
I'm getting that Xbox and I'm willing to kill for it
At least my family has morals... They don't even shop on black Friday
Fuck me an in uk i will get shanked if i go to get a ps5 on black friday
Inaccurate post, it doesn't mention the 17 people who were literally trampled to death on the way in.
Sounds to me like that swimmer's friend DID remember that he was a track swimmer, and wanted to shut his girl up without actually arguing with her. Terrible process, excellent delivery.
Track swimmer?
@@ghostnebula8805 slang for racers
@@ghostnebula8805 yes in competition the lanes you swim in are called tracks
Yeah. But I'd more interested to know why she is checking out other peoples trunks.
Excactly
Black Friday sounds just like the purge the more I listen to these stories
i dont go anywhere near a store that day
It's mostly uneventful now that stores open on Thanksgiving and most deals are available online.
Nah the purge is way more organized.
The purge took inspiration from black friday
@@DarkKnight52365 if I buy anything on Black Friday itâs always online, Iâm not risking my life for electronics
12:26 Oh this is super cursed, but you should've added: "When you get to heaven, you can compare notes with the victims of Pompeii"
me living near the vesuvius and having a panic attack
@@emiliaromano9909 I feel that, I live in the pacific northwest.
RSlash, the fact that your teacher gave you an A for that is amazing
Agreed! Most teachers would send you to the principal for being correct, and being *DiSrEsPeCtFuL,* so kudos to that teacher!
i tip my non existent hat to him
That teacher is giga Chad.
@@angeloncodm7477 the chadiest chad thats ever choden
"am i wrong though?"
teacher: "........"
"If you know a volcano is going to erupt, you don't hang around".
Harry Randall Truman would like a word with you.
Lava moat time
Also the entirety of Iceland
So would David Johnston, who stayed on the ridge opposite of the mountain, recording the eruption.
Side note, they both died horrible deaths.
Let's cross our fingers and hope nothing goes wrong in Alaska after that earthquake.
@@amycaires8499 he held onto the camera bag with his life
"just passing through"
"no! you stay here!"
"ok"
"how dare you!"
"How dare you stay here aNd nOt sErVe mE!!!"
oblivion npcs be like
@@themiataisntahonda334 more like oblivious npcs, amirite?
People: âOh, black friday! time to get some stuff for cheap!â
Also people: *Spends 12,000 dollars*
It was originally $12,012 so obvs it paid off đ€Ł
@@tsukuyomimodo thatâs actually funny đ
HOLY CRAP. 12K for coffee. COFFEE! HOW??
It honestly probably was 24k before savings.
Of course, you got an A on your paper because as a teacher he knew you were technically correct and that was the best kind of correct. It is a perfect example of 'If you can't Blind them with Brilliance, Baffle them with Bullshit'.
black friday, the day of "hey everything is cheaper! time to commit felonies for a new tv!"
Domo is that you
Not even on Friday! Black Friday really starts on Thanksgiving evening; the holiday where we're supposed to be thankful. Ironyyyyyy!
I have shopped during that day I never experienced the chaotic part of the occasion. I have also yet to see that part on the internet. But I have heard that a lot of people have been hurt maybe killed during the chaos. Is that really what happens during that occasion?
@@zekromtrainer1222 ive seen a story of two fathers shooting each over to death in a toy store
Its not even cheaper. Mostly just false advertising. Basically everything is artificially expensive and the "sale" is the actual worth.
For the Volcano story: just do what a man in Italy did the last time Vesuvius erupted. Put an offering of wine and bread out to the Roman gods, and the lava will stop at your porch edge
Its the hot gas that will get you lol
Dabney, your school paper on volcanos reminds me of some of the crazy coworkers I worked with. During the 'The Floor is Lava' craze, they sent me ALL kinds of photos of them playing the floor is lava. The funny and craziest part is that the floor was actually lava. Having coworkers and friends in Earth Sciences can sometimes be a blast... Literally!
I was waiting for rSlash to say, "In the event of a volcano eruption, you will find yourself at ground zero for the sequel "Pompeii 2: The Revenge". Be sure to strike a cool pose for when the archeologists find your remains."
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđđ»đđ»đđ»đđ»
Thank you for writing his name out. I never know what heâs saying
These people didnât by any chance work at Syracuse University, did they?
Surely, if the lava hardens, it's no longer lava, but lava stone.
You know this is a good episode when rSlash shares a personal story. But seriously, volcano safety?
I now right? but on the other side just put a fence around it and have a small gap with a fenced trail so the lava will know where to go when the volcano erupts... easy +A!
@@seriyalexandrovski8420 I don't think would work
The black Friday stories are kinda hilarious when you consider the Keurig story. People would go crazy for anything if you slap "free" on it huh
When I was a teenager someone tried to attack me over back Friday dishes (corelware). I tried to tell them about the giant pile of them mislocated in the center of the women's clothes, but the guy was so rude and violent I ended up just running.
On the up side, I've seen mostly positive black Friday interactions since. One giant guy about 6'8" was just picking up giant tv/vcr combos and placing them in people's carts after a group of short women spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get them. As tall as he was, he had to get on tiptoe to reach.
Palpatine: Ironic.
Seriously though, are people seriously willing to possibly get arrested over a bargain?
@@jamesnorman9160 yes, yes they are
@@jamesnorman9160 Don't just get on the US and black Friday. I've seen video of the UK when Nutella goes on sale.
R/slash literally looked at his teacher and practically said, "Are you gonna look at me and tell me that I'm wrong?"
You know what happens in the UK during black Friday?
We queue quietly while the staff hand out mince pies and warm drinks.
If only the rest of the world was like that.....
@@avgjoeavglife a lot of banks in the UK closed due to the crash. In order to get their money people queued outside, patiently. There was even people going to the shop, getting snacks, camping chairs for the old and disabled, and water for everyone.
We don't do much well here in Britain, but we queue to a gold medal standard
Yeah even over here in Canada it's not THAT bad, sure it's a bit of a mosh pit and not my cup of Tim's. But we won't trample grandma, and shoot uncle Jerry in the face for a 62% off tv
@@vintagecameragirl Dunkirk would be proud.
@@vintagecameragirl I don't know much about how banks are over here on Black Friday, But it's nice to see other country's taking care of all the people who shop.
Volcano explodes:
-step one: âitâs over Anakin, I have the high ground!â
that's not the high ground wa.... I mean the jedi way
Rslash: âVolcano safetyâ
My brain: *Pompeii*
Same
Ring of Fire.
"Who writes a book on volcano safety"
"People who were in the dust zone and survived Mt Saint Helens."
People who live below Kilauea on Big Island too.
Mount Saint Helens was having some activity again like ten years or so ago. I was driving from Seattle to Portland to visit my sister in college, and I think it was summertime... I don't know, just not winter, and at some point in the trip I started looking around going, "Is it... snowing?" Haha... nope. đ° But that's all that happened.
as well as volcanologists whoâre studying volcanoesâŠ
The one in the bank is such a classic, close it, then open a new account.
Yeah XD
It's honestly smart tho
Am i the only one that wouldn't have noticed the new recording equipment if rSlash hadn't mentioned it?
I probably would've noticed something seems off but otherwise wouldn't care that much
The new sound/setup is terrible.
@@dubious6718 It's not bad, you just don't like it
He mentioned it when he first got it. Last week...
@@horseluver4ever623 Not talking about the stories, but the audio/sound. It has way to much bass and a bass "echo". Other channels on CZcams doesn't have this problem.
For volcano activity in some volcanos there is a concrete shelter typically near the top just in case
The fuck you doing inside the damn volcano? Shit we got volcanos going off all the time on the island I live on and well the only safety thing is don't touch the damn lava
Why isn't it near the town or at least the base of the volcano? Who goes near the top of an active volcano?
@@stormwright8300 maybe for scientists doing research ?
Tourist attractions? If you watched Abroad in Japan's video, you know what I mean
@@hukaman88 but it looks so yummy
"His girlfriend is very uncomfortable with me wearing briefs in the pool."
Um, what about the *OTHER* guys that are wearing briefs? She is just being dramatic and trying to make a scene.
Maybe she thought he was causing her to have lustful thoughts
@@persuasivedino That may be so, but what about the other guys wearing briefs? Are they gonna cause her to have lustful thoughts too lol? This is clear that she's just picking on OP.
@@persuasivedino that's HER problem. It's like telling girls to cover up when men are aroused. That's their problem XD
The other guys were wearing boxers as clearly stated in the post
@@mariedelange1269 It's pretty much like a Karen telling a woman to cover up her bikini at the beach because it was "distracting her kids". But she herself is wearing one herself, which is even more distracting because bikinis aren't made for fat-asses like her.
That volcano story is amazing. I'm also glad that the teacher had the humour to give the kid an A for cleverness.
"I put out new reddit videos every single-"
*video ends*
EVERY SINGLE WHAT?!!
he says every singe day.
@@Gashnaw r/woosh
Every single century would be my guess. But it could be millennium. Anyways...
Century.
@@smiletoda4448 how does that deserve a wooosh
ngl his story about his teacher has that âYOUâRE GONNA TELL ME THAT IâM WRONG!â vibe!
In 4th grade, we had to do a similar weather-related project. My group had blizzards. The teacher provided several books from the library for every weather event EXCEPT ours. The ONE book we were given ended up being our primary source of information. And on presentation day, he became enraged and stopped us mid-presentation and yelled at us about how wrong our information was, and all I could do was point at the ONE book HE provided and tell him we didn't make anything up and it's all correct as far as we knew. I really don't remember the outcome, or how we did grade-wise. I just remember this grown man getting livid at a bunch of 9-10 year olds for doing exactly what they were supposed to do.
Dude, I was lucky. My first and last black friday in retail I got sent home because I had a severe panic attack
Dabny/rSlash volcano safety paragraph is amazing, him getting a A makes this 100% funnier âeh, donât worry about it, youâll be dead :)â
Oh my word, Black Friday is the most disgusting thing ever.
*casually shows easter shops*
I totally agree!! Black Friday is disgusting đŻ
And how the hell is it racist???? What does black Friday have to do with being a black person???đđ dummy
they should just stop doing black fridays bet the crime rates on that day hit a new low.
Iâm from Hawaiâi and I can assure you that our âvolcano safetyâ rules is just to move away from the lava flow. And thatâs about it. So your paper still wouldâve been short either way. đ€·ââïž
Conversely, I remember the first time "Black Friday" made it across the pond. The first year was manic (by British standards) and a few people were hurt. I joined Carphone Warehouse inside a Currys shop between then and the next year. I worked Black Friday. Three customers for the entire day. It was as if the British public collectively said "Let's not." and avoided retail establishments, the Saturday was busier but less so than a normal Saturday. This was in 2015/6, I think?
I'm glad that the bank manager in the last story was such a good sport.
he did his job, helped a customer with a problem, and retained a customerâŠthatâs a win for him
JESUS the story about Volcano safety.
As someone who grew up in a city sitting right on a Volcano's ass: there IS NO SUCH THING. The only thing you can do if you get a whiff of a Volcano erupting, is hope you're far enough to get the fuck out of town. Your essay was spot on.
Got my coffee, check. Logged in? check. rSlash? Score. Morning level achieved!
Morning Rslash. Hope you have a good day.
Rslash:volcano project
Me:try to avoid the falling rocks and don't become the guy who escaped the volcano but got crushed by a rock in Pompeii
black Friday might as well be the purge for some people!!!
*casually shows XMAS stores in christmas*
Is really that bad in america black friday? Here in italy is just amazon discounts and some discount in the shops that last 1/2 weeks
Last time I did black Friday I was 13 and holding a tool set for my dad and a full grown man tried to pry it out of my hands
What you may not be considering is that most people consider USA to be a 3rd World Country these days, since the wealth inequality has skyrocketed immensely in these past decades. Some people need those sales to survive... but unfortunately, they can't afford cars or alarm clocks, so the upper middle class picks the isles clean. There's an average of 1.1 deaths and 10.9 major injuries incurred per year... although this study only counts 44 Black Friday incidents over 10 years, so the sample size seems low. I'm betting the actual statistics are much higher.
The only time my mom ever did black friday was when she got all 3 of us kids Nintendo Advance SP's, they were SUPER cheap but she and my aunt woke up at like 3am in order to wait for the store to open and she said it was absolute madness, she didn't get anything else but still couldn't even make it home until almost lunchtime because of navigating through all the people. People die and get seriously injured every year, it's nuts. Which is why most people never go out on that day, we'd rather live lol
That was the perfect advice for an unpredicted volcanic eruption.
Which, thanks to science, rarely happens.
Well actually volcanoes aren't super rare, but most of them are underwater
The pool guy had a towel around his waste? That must have been an important sh*t to wrap it like that.
Makes my blood boil when higher-ups assume you have so little work to do when they never bother to figure out what's clogging up the work load.
I loved your Volcano essay story. I live in Hawaii which is basically living on top of a volcano and the last time we had a volcanic eruption there was literally nothing you could do about it except take drone footage of it and maybe grill a hotdog. The most I guess you can do is get as much stuff as you can out of your house and go since the flows usually move pretty slow depending on air conditions.
Pretty much. There are different types of volcanos, but if you get Pompeii'd you're kinda screwed no matter what. A slow flow is a little easier to work with, at least.
Makes me glad my store doesn't do any special sales for Black Friday, we don't get nearly as bad a mob.
Also I half-expected R's paper to be like "Move out of the way of the volcano" XD But the "don't worry, you're dead" approach was equally hilarious
âVolcano safety: Avoid them if at all possible.â
I used to swim for a George Washington high school and I had a speedo with the dollar bill portrait across the front and the words âbling blingâ across my ass. Perfection.
Man I flipping love it when the outro gets cut off. Its always random and makes me laugh. Its my favorite part of these videos.
2:11 "Are you f***ing with me?!" "Why, yes! Yes, I am! I'm so glad you noticed!" :P
Best part of waking up is rslash
LOL the Folgers song came to my head when I read this and i sang, out loud the following in the Folgers commercial song tune "The best part of waking up is Rslash in my CUP!!!!!!!!!"
đ” The best of waking up, Is Rslah on your comp đ”
The bank story I love the fact the manager basically went well played and helped the OP
Lmao the "write your schedule!" Story reminds me of one time my boss was annoyed I didn't have a priority project (he didn't tell me it was priority) done and demanded to see a list of all the projects I had going on so he could write what is priority and what isn't. Funny joke, since all of my projects are considered priority and some have deadlines that push them up or down my list. After 10 years at this place I know how to juggle things. Gave my boss the list and he had absolutely no idea how to organize it lmao. Safe to say he never questioned me after that.
I bet Mama R/Slash earned a lotta gray hair from R/ Slash's adolescence. Lol... Smart Asses Unite!!!!
That last took the 500iq medal. Using the system to get what you want. Genius.
That last story was so awesome, the bank manager found it funny too which I loved
rSlash, I am LOVING your smartassery with your volcano report!
I hope that everyone is having a good Monday!
You to
@@ckdnnsiah2869, thanks.
I wouldnât be shocked if the person who attempted to stab u/flameislove was a Karen who thinks everything she wants should be in stock at the exact moment she wants it.
I like that MC, "What to do in case of the unexpected"
"What to do in case of a damenic portal opens in front of you"
The sound quality is insane!!!!! Great job Rslash!
lol! i just left from this video and went to watch a dashcam compilation that i watch everyday that gets posted daily. someone in the video was listening to you in the car while driving! i thought i was the only one that did that. i love your content!
I love the volcano story. That is 100% something I would do! And hey, you got an A on being a smart ass!! đđđ
One of the best things about leaving retail is no more black Friday lunatics
That guy who changed into a speedo for malicious compliance is a legend. And, in my personal experience, I've found that people don't seem to care too much about whether you swim in a speedo, or not, and it makes me enjoy swimming in a speedo even more.
I really like the ones where the other people around get a good chuckle out of it
0/5 buttholes for that teacher, 10/10 guy for grading you well on it, seems like he has a sense of humor
I love the volcano paper story. I've repeated it to friends and family because it made me laugh so hard. My parents got a kick out of it. I'm going back watching old videos that I haven't liked, because the thumbs up is how I track what I've seen. Can't believe I missed this one initially!
The excessive documentation of daily activities is something I have done as well and it generally does not take long for folks to ask you to stop. Mind, doing contract work in the past is what prompted me to begin that style record keeping and I keep it up on my own to this day as it serves well on pushing back on requests/questions/etc.
I had a similar experience after a stupid writeup at a previous job. Someone had lied and blamed me for missing money, and they refused to check the camera and wrote me up for a different thing when I found the cash bag in a spot it often fell into. They then told me to do my best to make sure the workplace had no violations, and to report them. I did so. About two dozen reports about random OSHA, company policy, and food service later they removed the writeup.
Your story about the safety to consider in case of a volcanic eruption was funny!đđThank you for sharing!
đ am I wrong though? Good for you Rslash, well played.
This is the reason why I always had fridays off when I worked retail
Vulcano safety : exists
Italy: makes one of its biggest city's around one
Black Friday in Canada is different then Black Friday in the US. Our stores are never over crowded and people never fight you the item you are holding
Back in 2011 I worked Black Friday at a Walmart, and it was a war zone out there. Kids punching each other for video games, old people in rascals pushing each other over people getting stuff stolen out of their carts that day was the longest most chaotic day ever.
these black Friday horror stories are the reason im glad i work at a gas station... aint no one trying to rush in for a deal
RSlash: I had to BS my way through that volcano safety paper.
RSlash: *Only writes a one paragraph paper about how nothing would matter anyways.*
*RSlash somehow still gets an A.*
Excel stories on malicious compliance are the best. Because it's ASKING for what this OP did
That first story was like a reverse "I don't work here" except it's "I do work here"
new rslash video = better day
When I was 17 I started work at a Toys-R-Us on Black Friday, there's a reason I will NEVER go back to retail.
These Black Friday stories are the reason why I REFUSE to work on Black Friday.
lmao at "dept of clever tw@ts"
So r we not gonna talk about Rslash going âoi m8â đ
"You always look busy, yet you're always behind, you need to-" No, employer, YOU need to hire more staff.
The volcano story reminds me of an interaction I had on r/askreddit.
Somebody asks "what do a volcano and a plane have in common?"
And I replied: "They almost never explode, but when they do, anyone nearby is probably gonna die."
I was eating cereal while listening to the volvano story, nearly choked đ
Honestly the teacher probably thought the volcano safety paper was funny if you got an A on it.
This reminds me of a story too, back at my first year of junior high a guy from the States came to our school as an exchange student, our school was right next to the most active volcano in the country, erupts every 3 or 4 years, and in the middle of hurricane alley, so like one day the volcano errupts, we were all pretty surprised but we knew this was gonna happen eventually so we were calm, and like this exchange was absolutely losing his mind, he was asking what were supposed to do and where we should evacuate, and my smart ass looked at him like I was jesus and said, "well Jon, it was a pleasure knowing you" and gave him my most innocent smile HAHAHA
Of course your teacher's name was Mr. Duncan (dunkin') cause as Gordan Ramsay would say "[he's a] f##king donut."
Guy in the first story sounds like the type of guy that would flip the table after a waiter accidentally brought sparkling instead of still water.
I love the volcano story. Well done Rslash.
Dude... If I got stuck having to write that kind of paper with literally no resources, mine would have been just one word long:
*_Run._*
The Black Friday story reminds me of this one kid I knew in elementary who went with his parents to go shopping on Black Friday. He came back to school with a black eye.
Black Friday is the sheepiest scariest time. Never leave the house and order online. Same deals, less murder.
"Write what do do in the case of an Erupting Volcano"
Me: Be somewhere else.
My high school theatreâs tech department has a really funny safety sign about tornadoes that says âPut your head between your knees and kiss your butt goodbyeâ
For the volcano thing I would have just put "don't live next to a volcano" or ask the teacher for his resources on volcano safety
I mean, when the only proper volcano research readily available to you is the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in Pompeii, what else are you really going to be able to say? đđđ