Biden Urges Patience And Trump Claims Victory As Battleground States Count Their Ballots

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 3. 11. 2020
  • Stephen still hasn't left his Election Night set because, as of Wednesday night's Late Show, Americans don't know who will be their next president. #Colbert #Monologue #LSSC
    Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: bit.ly/ColbertCZcams
    For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: bit.ly/1AKISnR
    Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: bit.ly/1Puei40
    Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: on. 1df139Y
    Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
    Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: bit.ly/1JlGgzw
    Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: bit.ly/29wfREj
    Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: bit.ly/29DVvtR
    Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
    Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE:
    Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! bit.ly/1OQA29B
    ---
    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
  • Zábava

Komentáře • 7K

  • @TheDneaves
    @TheDneaves Před 3 lety +2652

    The fact that half the country voted for Trump is horrifying.
    No offense America, but you've really lost it.

    • @FinneousPJ1
      @FinneousPJ1 Před 3 lety +158

      Half of those who voted, not half of the country.

    • @peterebel7899
      @peterebel7899 Před 3 lety +166

      Trump is only the symptom of America's trouble

    • @superkind333
      @superkind333 Před 3 lety +27

      @@FinneousPJ1 statistically that is about half of the country

    • @FinneousPJ1
      @FinneousPJ1 Před 3 lety +13

      @@superkind333 lol citation required

    • @mehere8038
      @mehere8038 Před 3 lety +114

      Exactly! VERY scary to think that almost half of those eligible to vote ie all "adults" in America are apparently completely happy with trump's performance!

  • @natyoung7755
    @natyoung7755 Před 3 lety +219

    Also I love that his wife is there, giggling at everything.
    Wholesome.

    • @jordancunningham4962
      @jordancunningham4962 Před 3 lety +7

      He's always better with someone to laugh. Especially her.

    • @upsman9351
      @upsman9351 Před 3 lety +1

      Can’t believe McConnell & Graham got voted back in. Absolutely horrendous

  • @haliesherlin6925
    @haliesherlin6925 Před 3 lety +80

    Evie laughing at all his jokes makes them so much better. They have such a beautiful love. I enjoy watching them two together

  • @dbsean
    @dbsean Před 3 lety +68

    From the guy who brought you "the reason there are so many cases is because we are doing too many tests" comes the new hit single "I'm only losing because they're counting all the votes against me"

  • @russellzauner
    @russellzauner Před 3 lety +1894

    Trump: DID YOU SEE THE NUMBERS KEEP CHANGING WHY DO THEY KEEP CHANGING
    Me: *that's literally the definition of counting*

    • @deeuhhbahuc5063
      @deeuhhbahuc5063 Před 3 lety +5

      Im still trying to figure out y people would vote for socialism instead of Trump freedom

    • @lazerlord9324
      @lazerlord9324 Před 3 lety +149

      @@deeuhhbahuc5063 you are still trying to figure it out because that's not what's happening here.

    • @lazerlord9324
      @lazerlord9324 Před 3 lety +50

      @Jonas Jonaitis fake news

    • @1028641
      @1028641 Před 3 lety +55

      @Jonas Jonaitis Not a fake impeachment, he was impeached. Republican senators found him guilty, but didn't find his GUILT to be worthy of removal. You FAIL! Not fake Russian interference. 17 different federal law enforcement and intelligence agencies unequivocally state that Russia interfered in 2016. You FAIL. These mail in votes are legitimate and will be counted. You FAIL! But do go on and listen to the orange moron and his buttlickin fox cronies.

    • @Miguel-th3wx
      @Miguel-th3wx Před 3 lety +13

      @@deeuhhbahuc5063 awesome how you are so stupid that you don't even know what socialism is

  • @adjoabaidoo6545
    @adjoabaidoo6545 Před 3 lety +545

    Stephen’s wife laughing is getting me through this day lol

    • @otakuman706
      @otakuman706 Před 3 lety +15

      It was nice.
      At least a sliver of light I suppose 🤣😅😭😭😭

    • @loricrawford1952
      @loricrawford1952 Před 3 lety +8

      I like that too 😁

    • @GunnGuardian
      @GunnGuardian Před 3 lety +35

      I find it kind of wholesome that she's there to laugh at all his jokes. She know he misses his audience.

    • @1shaprice
      @1shaprice Před 3 lety +18

      I said this last week. Glad to know its not just me. I love her being there!

    • @33lex55
      @33lex55 Před 3 lety +21

      She's all the live audience he needs, really...

  • @ScytheNoire
    @ScytheNoire Před 3 lety +136

    It's disturbing and disgusting that this election was even close. After all Trump and Republicans have done, that any one would still vote for them, is both disturbing and disgusting.

    • @spitflamez
      @spitflamez Před 3 lety +2

      ScytheNoire Agreed!

    • @praisethesun6078
      @praisethesun6078 Před 3 lety +5

      It's because most of his supporters are dumb and can't think for themselves so they'll listen to anything trump says. What's worse is they actually believe they are intelligent and trump is intelligent

    • @mikeybabes7527
      @mikeybabes7527 Před 3 lety

      America, land of the free 😂😂😂
      No, really, you should come and visit, it’s all free!
      Even this election is a steal!! 😂😂😂
      And since we’re talking comedy, stop me if you’ve heard this one...
      Many deluded morons think that if they vote for Joe Biden, they will get Joe Biden! 😂 I know right?
      Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups 😂😂😂
      Enjoy your “Democracy when it suits” won’t you?

    • @TheDneaves
      @TheDneaves Před 3 lety +2

      @James Because a right minded person and politician knows not to hold a load of stupid rallies during a pandemic. In just one speech I've already more intelligence and sence from Biden than I ever have from Trump.

    • @Patty-ii5zu
      @Patty-ii5zu Před 3 lety +5

      What’s even more disturbing is being related to a Trump supporter who believes that Covid isn’t real. You see these people on the news, but never expect to be related to them. I am so glad we’re skipping the holidays this year.

  • @Miyako19931
    @Miyako19931 Před 3 lety +7

    I love the little giggles in the background from his wife.

  • @BoshPlays
    @BoshPlays Před 3 lety +84

    Hearing Evie laugh at all Stephen's jokes was exactly what I needed.

  • @timdetmers3240
    @timdetmers3240 Před 3 lety +141

    I live in California now, but I was born and raised in Michigan, Oakland County specifically. THANK YOU Michigan for coming thru for democracy and decency. Oakland County went overwhelmingly for Biden. I'm so proud of you!

    • @changpak8837
      @changpak8837 Před 3 lety +6

      Democracy and decency. So good to hear. Thanks.

    • @happymommy22
      @happymommy22 Před 3 lety +8

      Me too! I used to live in Lansing! Thank you Michigan

    • @bananian
      @bananian Před 3 lety +6

      Happy tears. :_)

    • @Blackseaink
      @Blackseaink Před 3 lety +8

      Thanks Detroit ❤️❤️❤️

    • @RM-ed1if
      @RM-ed1if Před 3 lety +4

      Now move to Florida. They need you.

  • @sinki19841984
    @sinki19841984 Před 3 lety +85

    Looking at the DC numbers, even his hometown wants him out.

    • @brianmozeti7551
      @brianmozeti7551 Před 3 lety

      A message from your pal Biden: czcams.com/video/WGRnhBmHYN0/video.html

  • @OhHel65
    @OhHel65 Před 3 lety +18

    Three good things to enjoy from “A Late Show” - getting to know Jon Batiste, hearing your wife’s laugh, and seeing your beautiful shirts.

  • @Sammonoske
    @Sammonoske Před 3 lety +94

    I'm declaring myself the winner of the next powerball lottery. I'll take my winnings now.

    • @josephgabriel3609
      @josephgabriel3609 Před 3 lety +3

      Brilliant!! LOL!!!

    • @ohiohiker4301
      @ohiohiker4301 Před 3 lety +2

      I love it! If I don't win, then it was due to fraudulent activity. Lol. 😂

    • @giovannifoulmouth7205
      @giovannifoulmouth7205 Před 3 lety +1

      Although you are now legally the winner, you'll have to take your winnings in tranches, can't take it all at once.

  • @glowingatom
    @glowingatom Před 3 lety +124

    I am Canadian and I finally breathed a sign of relief when Biden delivered his speech today. Good to hear an adult talk again.

  • @letalee
    @letalee Před 3 lety +33

    PLEASE GOD - Just let us be done with him. I can't deal with his insanity anymore.

    • @XwX1001
      @XwX1001 Před 3 lety

      Amen to that, friend. If I never hear another one of his batshit crazy conspiracy theories ever again, it'll be WAAAY too soon.

  • @kellyw.4805
    @kellyw.4805 Před 3 lety +53

    Not everyone in Texas voted for Trump. You're welcome. In addition, many of us don't want to see Governor Abbott elected for another term. I'm a native Texan and we are not all idiots and assholes.

    • @diarmuidkuhle8181
      @diarmuidkuhle8181 Před 3 lety +3

      I have a good friend in Texas and she is likewise commendably sane. 😉
      We know.
      And thank you for voting on behalf of rest - of - world 👍

    • @momcatwoo
      @momcatwoo Před 3 lety +4

      Some amazing people in Texas!

    • @amandakymweger
      @amandakymweger Před 3 lety +3

      I totally agree there has been too much generalisation.Each individual is like a snowflake under a microscope.Beautiful and unique and deserving of respect.Why because what you mirror make a difference to the world.Charater is not overrated it's essential.An Aussie Christian

    • @lemonsky5378
      @lemonsky5378 Před 3 lety +2

      Thank you. 6th generation Texan here and one of a long line of Democrats, including my father. One of my neighbors had Biden/Harris signs all over their property. We're not all ignorant, race-baiting fascists.

    • @diarmuidkuhle8181
      @diarmuidkuhle8181 Před 3 lety +1

      @@lemonsky5378 a very good friend of mine is from Texas and hates Trump. Thanks to you for pointing out that Texas doesn't equal Trump (I'm a German resident in UK)

  • @LolXd-ez9mr
    @LolXd-ez9mr Před 3 lety +1202

    “Florida is America’s cheating boyfriend. Why do we always think we can change him?” 🤣🤣🤣😂

    • @arrietty1619
      @arrietty1619 Před 3 lety +38

      Oh, Florida ...

    • @loonabestkpopgroup7376
      @loonabestkpopgroup7376 Před 3 lety +39

      And Texas as well..

    • @Junksaint
      @Junksaint Před 3 lety +24

      Their economy needs travel and everything the pandemic is hurting so...I don't agree but I understand how our boyfriend acts that way lol I'm enabling

    • @hayleyava7398
      @hayleyava7398 Před 3 lety +8

      Lol Yep😆🤔

    • @erikolsen1333
      @erikolsen1333 Před 3 lety +9

      Have you seen the disaster relief memes regarding Florida

  • @anp1609
    @anp1609 Před 3 lety +1265

    Trump be like:
    “Very suspicious how I was leading until they started counting my opponents votes. Fraud!!”

    • @carolineyartey8211
      @carolineyartey8211 Před 3 lety +22

      Yes, stupid as stupid gets!

    • @silverblue73
      @silverblue73 Před 3 lety +51

      it's horrible, what they're doing, the counting, have you heard about this, after the election, still counting, covid covid covid, voter fraud ballot mail woman man person camera tv

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 Před 3 lety +14

      ​@@silverblue73 Woah. Silversaint - you sound terrible presidential right there. Why didn't YOU run - You seem to have the bestest words ever...

    • @anyimejia9729
      @anyimejia9729 Před 3 lety +7

      @@robertnett9793 the sarcasm on is comment is priceless

    • @kevincrady2831
      @kevincrady2831 Před 3 lety +17

      "We were ahead at the end of the 5th inning, a beautiful, tremendous lead. But then they went and had another inning, and the other team is scoring runs! FRAUD!"

  • @vitang7623
    @vitang7623 Před 3 lety +17

    We definitely need to throw out the Big Orange Spoil Ham, it doesn't fit in the fridge.

  • @louiseobrien2010
    @louiseobrien2010 Před 3 lety +38

    Message to Trump - democracy is about counting ALL of the votes.

    • @brianmozeti7551
      @brianmozeti7551 Před 3 lety

      A message from your pal Biden: czcams.com/video/WGRnhBmHYN0/video.html

    • @cero2277
      @cero2277 Před 3 lety

      US isn’t a democracy, it’s a republic. Are you so stupid that you don’t know the difference?

    • @TheFalloftheWish
      @TheFalloftheWish Před 3 lety +1

      Including the votes from my dead great grandmother that was born in 1900, and my cat that died 12 years ago

    • @bigernmccracken712
      @bigernmccracken712 Před 3 lety

      Especially ALL of the fake ones, right comrade?

  • @billmurray7473
    @billmurray7473 Před 3 lety +604

    Stephen doesn't need an audience.
    He's got his NUMBER ONE FAN
    Right There in the room.

    • @hbhtcr5707
      @hbhtcr5707 Před 3 lety +13

      Knowing bill Murray there’s like a 41% chance of this being the real bill Murray lmao

    • @lh2988
      @lh2988 Před 3 lety +3

      IKR ❤️

    • @roxannemaggiacomo4513
      @roxannemaggiacomo4513 Před 3 lety +53

      ...she who laughed out loud when he declared himself sexiest man alive : ).

    • @Chrisko1492
      @Chrisko1492 Před 3 lety +53

      Their relationship is so lovely. I love it when she‘s there and laughing and you can tell, Stephen loves it too 🥰

    • @talizorahnarrayya8166
      @talizorahnarrayya8166 Před 3 lety +39

      ikr i think its so cute how his wife sits there laughing at his jokes its wholesome af

  • @shauniebnaturalista6672
    @shauniebnaturalista6672 Před 3 lety +539

    Biden is on the doorstep. C'mon, Nevada. Mama needs a new pair of First Families!!!🇺🇲

    • @annebryony1406
      @annebryony1406 Před 3 lety

      Isnt it intresting how pepole will spend $50k on a brand new
      car or $70k in students loans without thinking twice, yet too
      scared to invest $5k into stocks or their business?
      Isnt it crazy how people are more willing to take on personal debt than invet??
      Many people have it all backwards.
      Are you a complete beginner to investing and have no idea where to begin?
      You can reach me via the comment box or send me a friend request let’s make the best of whatever we can.

    • @kingchuckfinley
      @kingchuckfinley Před 3 lety +43

      @@annebryony1406 come on bruh. Not now.

    • @ronnieking3848
      @ronnieking3848 Před 3 lety +23

      And just like that, Jill moved from Second Lady to First Lady. And Melania went down in the poles 😜

    • @mallen5195
      @mallen5195 Před 3 lety +14

      Nevada was allowed to mail their ballots until the 3rd. It'll take a day, or two✌

    • @markmac2206
      @markmac2206 Před 3 lety +7

      @@annebryony1406 that was random.

  • @terrijeanxoc
    @terrijeanxoc Před 3 lety +9

    I love how you can still make your wife laugh on set

  • @damienramseur5669
    @damienramseur5669 Před 3 lety +14

    "We were winning everithing!" But then they start counting

  • @flapkatt6094
    @flapkatt6094 Před 3 lety +43

    I live in Florida. I'm mystified that my fellow citizens can still support this tainted tangerine. Not me. I voted for the smart guy, Joe Biden. My neighbors are insane.

    • @janeskey5042
      @janeskey5042 Před 3 lety +3

      I’m in West Florida and I voted for Biden and a bunch of my friends did too - do not understand it

    • @karenmbbaxter
      @karenmbbaxter Před 3 lety +2

      Just stay safe and don't get into arguments with others over it......It's not worth it........After watching this election I told my grown daughter that if people get really angry over how U choose to vote either a/ Don't answer the question if asked or b/ Lie and vote however U want because voting is meant to be private and it is none of anyone's business. America looks pretty divided 50/50 so it's best no to fight over it as voting is the best thing U can do. So well done to everyone who voted regardless of who U voted for.

    • @patrickingalls5954
      @patrickingalls5954 Před 3 lety +1

      Sorry to admit my bro.n'law is probably one of the Florida idiots. 😣

  • @louiscolas492
    @louiscolas492 Před 3 lety +167

    Melania is preparing her divorce papers at this moment

    • @marthaconner1550
      @marthaconner1550 Před 3 lety

      Rah right!!

    • @kennethhumpf6502
      @kennethhumpf6502 Před 3 lety +10

      She will be taking Barron and moving to Europe.

    • @WarblesOnALot
      @WarblesOnALot Před 3 lety +1

      @@kennethhumpf6502
      G'day,
      Nope, Europe is locked down, and nobody on Earth is permitting US CitiZens to enter their Nations.
      Malaena and her mongrel-bred bastard-brat will have to stay and stew in Trumpy's festering juices.
      Such is Life.
      ;-p
      Ciao !

    • @avedic
      @avedic Před 3 lety +12

      No. She's. Not.
      I keep saying this.....but, stop letting her off the hook.
      She willingly bought into all this a LONG time ago, and hasn't budge one inch.
      She's entirely culpable. Stop acting like she's not an adult who know full well what she's doing. Stop it. Just STOP already.

    • @goodtimes8975
      @goodtimes8975 Před 3 lety +2

      Her Boyfriend voted for Biden👍

  • @blibjorb
    @blibjorb Před 3 lety +22

    Let’s put this in a way Republicans can understand:
    A vote’s life begins when it’s put in the envelope. It is God’s will to make sure it survives until it’s counted.

  • @telmadorcey7272
    @telmadorcey7272 Před 3 lety +44

    I love Stephen's joke about being the sexiest man in America, he shows a very unflattering photo and his wife Evie laughs in the background. 😂🤣😂🤣😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @geronimotalo2002
    @geronimotalo2002 Před 3 lety +118

    The wife laughing at that sexiest man alive bit was priceless.

  • @caligirlbailey7631
    @caligirlbailey7631 Před 3 lety +1703

    Imagine if Hillary pulled this tantrum throwing childish bs 4 years ago when she lost MI by far less and yet won the popular vote

    • @andreaskarlsson5251
      @andreaskarlsson5251 Před 3 lety +162

      Imagine Trump winning the popular vote and still losing the election. 😆
      The cult would habe lost its shit lmao

    • @bulletproofair
      @bulletproofair Před 3 lety +120

      Haha...not only that but imagine she had 3 husbands with kids from all of them and paid $120k to keep a porn star quiet....

    • @tuyenle8107
      @tuyenle8107 Před 3 lety +2

      Still 4 more years 🤣

    • @otakuman706
      @otakuman706 Před 3 lety +16

      @Claude Nine 🤦‍♂️

    • @karenmbbaxter
      @karenmbbaxter Před 3 lety +9

      @Claude Nine huh?

  • @debsanders3963
    @debsanders3963 Před 3 lety +7

    Stephen Colbert is one of the only things keeping me sane this year.

  • @GrubbyPigeon
    @GrubbyPigeon Před 3 lety +384

    Can we keep his wife? Her random giggling makes it so much better

    • @brigittem2231
      @brigittem2231 Před 3 lety +23

      They’re so cute💗

    • @goggleheroomegamaple820
      @goggleheroomegamaple820 Před 3 lety +4

      at this point i think shes more american than he is

    • @soylencer
      @soylencer Před 3 lety +3

      The stripper joke was a giggle-getter czcams.com/video/rJo8lSiHypA/video.html

    • @myko740
      @myko740 Před 3 lety

      Agreed 😂

    • @brianmozeti7551
      @brianmozeti7551 Před 3 lety

      A message from your pal Biden: czcams.com/video/WGRnhBmHYN0/video.html

  • @mopman777
    @mopman777 Před 3 lety +85

    Man, I really needed Stephen these last four years. It’s really exhausting to constantly have to argue about what’s real. Thanks for getting my through four years of gaslighting in this anti-science/reality/logic country!

  • @whachamacallitis
    @whachamacallitis Před 3 lety +41

    Unbelievable that so many people in the U.S. voted for this clown. I think this reflects the widespread inability of engaging in critical analysis.... the American educational system has failed us miserably.

  • @SergioSantos-nx6mk
    @SergioSantos-nx6mk Před 3 lety +57

    Can’t believe the “president’ does not understand that counting votes is what democracy is all about.

    • @gerardt3284
      @gerardt3284 Před 3 lety +1

      Legitimate votes

    • @orsmplus
      @orsmplus Před 3 lety +9

      he understands, it's just that democracy isn't what he wants.

    • @JB-zs1oq
      @JB-zs1oq Před 3 lety +1

      Just so long all the votes counted are all for him.

    • @gerardt3284
      @gerardt3284 Před 3 lety

      @Joel Sattler Nah that was Obama. Look at what he did to Syria and Libya.

  • @Flashtone08
    @Flashtone08 Před 3 lety +180

    Hit those converatives with "All Votes Matter" they love it.

  • @hittingyouoverthehead
    @hittingyouoverthehead Před 3 lety +706

    After humiliating himself for 4 years in front of the whole world, you'd think Trump would want to leave with some dignity but no. He has to go out kicking and screaming.

    • @Themercyify
      @Themercyify Před 3 lety +10

      The whole world loves Trump because he's not a coward like Obama & Biden they apologize apologize apologize. The strongest nation on the planet to apologize give me a break you must be kidding.

    • @nathanlopez7894
      @nathanlopez7894 Před 3 lety +11

      @@Themercyify you can't argue with biden supports because they have no idea who they are voting for they just listen to the media, the media is always right for them.... It's sad they are just voting for not trump....

    • @fahmizzzzzz
      @fahmizzzzzz Před 3 lety +64

      You make the mistake when you think Trump or any of his family members has any dignity

    • @phatmhat9174
      @phatmhat9174 Před 3 lety +1

      Here's what the libs have done for 4 years:
      czcams.com/video/VghTyqcn0ko/video.html

    • @Karl_Drogo55
      @Karl_Drogo55 Před 3 lety +23

      He's never had dignity

  • @kimharris3834
    @kimharris3834 Před 3 lety +9

    Its about time Trump picked his toys up off the floor, puts them back in his pram, stops sulking and behaving like a spoilt brat. Obviously he was never told no as a child.

  • @awhellyeah12
    @awhellyeah12 Před 3 lety +2

    The laughter in the background Is so cute

  • @JamesOfKS
    @JamesOfKS Před 3 lety +115

    There's so much good footage of Lindsey Graham being on both sides of any issue. Someone should put together a montage of him arguing with himself.

    • @daumatk
      @daumatk Před 3 lety +6

      Stephen Cobert's Wife laughing when he declares himself SEXIEST MAN ALIVE is just so funny

    • @AhavaMath
      @AhavaMath Před 3 lety +6

      I second this motion. That video would be hilarious.

    • @amandakymweger
      @amandakymweger Před 3 lety

      No don't encourage him less he say better for Americans psyche like trump.

  •  Před 3 lety +448

    Stephen Cobert's Wife laughing when he declares himself SEXIEST MAN ALIVE is just so funny

    • @UnopinionatedBystander2393
      @UnopinionatedBystander2393 Před 3 lety +18

      She's a doll!

    • @korrbear9980
      @korrbear9980 Před 3 lety

      Is it?

    • @korrbear9980
      @korrbear9980 Před 3 lety +1

      @Greg Gilly So CRINGE!

    • @joecamel914
      @joecamel914 Před 3 lety +32

      @Greg Gilly A wife laughing at her husband's joke is cultist behavior? Man, I bet dinnertime is fun at your house.

    • @ZigealFaust
      @ZigealFaust Před 3 lety +11

      @Greg Gilly Only a virgin Trump Simp would think a girl laughing at her baes joke is cult behavior.
      As your orange daddy says: "SO SAD."

  • @riverman9360
    @riverman9360 Před 3 lety +1

    Aw, man! That, “I win! I win!” bit at the beginning made me laugh so hard!!!

    • @Beginstheman
      @Beginstheman Před 3 lety

      "GET OUTTA HERE!!! GET! GO! GET! HRRR! HRRR!!"

  • @tamikoestomo3275
    @tamikoestomo3275 Před 3 lety +2

    God bless Evie and you, Stephen. I just love to hear her laugh.

  • @Gothic0ctopus
    @Gothic0ctopus Před 3 lety +199

    Man I needed Stephen's humor in the midst of this 24 hour panic attack

    • @lauragn4300
      @lauragn4300 Před 3 lety +8

      Breathe Teagan breathe honey... It's going to be alright🤗💙🇺🇸

    • @kaelthunderhoof5619
      @kaelthunderhoof5619 Před 3 lety

      You also need a wife to get those jokes to. Hahaha

    • @LTUgamelox
      @LTUgamelox Před 3 lety

      Trump 2020

    • @bearbear4030
      @bearbear4030 Před 3 lety +1

      Teagan Rogers only 24 hours? Gee I’ve been in panic attack mode for months lol 😂

  • @mattkemerait
    @mattkemerait Před 3 lety +509

    Biden: "Count every vote"
    Trump: "Count only MY votes"

    • @funnyt-shirts4744
      @funnyt-shirts4744 Před 3 lety +6

      America: "You're fired"
      On a t-shirt: teespring.com/byed20

    • @Eurisko229
      @Eurisko229 Před 3 lety +9

      Also Trump: “Stop counting as soon as I am on the lead”

    • @OtayBuckwheat
      @OtayBuckwheat Před 3 lety +8

      John McCain kicked Trump's butt, from the grave!

    • @drewstaser9726
      @drewstaser9726 Před 3 lety +2

      @Doug Lowe Does Trump know how to count? Like what if we just told him that 2 votes is more than 1,000,000?

    • @tuyenle8107
      @tuyenle8107 Před 3 lety

      Still four more years 🤣

  • @carlgrosspietschii9828
    @carlgrosspietschii9828 Před 3 lety +3

    “Stress eat all our kid’s Halloween candy “ .....guilty.

  • @brendanlarsen3121
    @brendanlarsen3121 Před 3 lety +49

    If Trump loses the American Flags will weep....
    ....tears of joy, as they will no longer be subjected to being groped and accosted in full public view

    • @TheFalloftheWish
      @TheFalloftheWish Před 3 lety

      Yay! Another star on the flag for China!

    • @JB-zs1oq
      @JB-zs1oq Před 3 lety +2

      @James Manson Really? I bet you thought you we being very clever when you typed that childlike response.

  • @gogoartandfilms1582
    @gogoartandfilms1582 Před 3 lety +165

    This week we show that criminal that he can't cheat his way through everything. You're FIRED bunker boy!

    • @guiniverebehounek6174
      @guiniverebehounek6174 Před 3 lety

      Omg I love Randy rainbow! He is so awesome and bunker boy is amazing!

    • @queenmary9611
      @queenmary9611 Před 3 lety

      czcams.com/video/YFod7a15xDw/video.html

    • @skoll_5682
      @skoll_5682 Před 3 lety +1

      He’s gotta go down and switch off the lights first.

    • @JB-zs1oq
      @JB-zs1oq Před 3 lety +1

      Just a question out of curiosity. Who opens up youtube links that are given with no comment?

  • @jennystenger935
    @jennystenger935 Před 3 lety +1

    Your monologue on 11-5 was hilarious!!!

  • @AuntieCreed
    @AuntieCreed Před 3 lety +2

    I love when his wife is in studio with him, I can always hear her giggling at his jokes. They have such a great relationship and it's cool to see. :)

  • @nbbim2012
    @nbbim2012 Před 3 lety +241

    Don't worry Stephen, we all know that the queen Evie is in the building. We're in love with her giggles in the background during the monologue

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před 3 lety +98

    Who's surprised Donnie doesn't understand counting... I mean, really...

  • @ireneb9403
    @ireneb9403 Před 3 lety

    Thank you SO MUCH for puting yourself on line and speak up.....we all appreciate that so MUCH ...

    • @ireneb9403
      @ireneb9403 Před 3 lety

      AND...on Thursday it was so moving to watch you ....I'm your FAN forever....!!!! And hilarious as usual

  • @ghost4548
    @ghost4548 Před 3 lety

    "WE MUST STOP THE MEATS!".... LOVE IT!... nothing (except 'WHERE'S THE BEEF?!") might have stated it better. I STILL love your show Steve.... keep it alive!

  • @PBH75
    @PBH75 Před 3 lety +85

    When this nightmare is over, I am going to miss hearing his wife laugh at his jokes. It's so sweet and you can tell they really love one another. Just awesome.

  • @rboettger
    @rboettger Před 3 lety +38

    God bless you, Stephen. I am watching your YT clips every morning since Trump got elected. Together with my coffee, you always make my day. Fingers crossed from Ireland.

  • @solitare4602
    @solitare4602 Před 3 lety +3

    0:32 "Moron that later" I see what you did there.

  • @telalong5254
    @telalong5254 Před 3 lety

    just caught the flag behind you, Mr. Colbert. brilliant.

  • @briangruenewald7536
    @briangruenewald7536 Před 3 lety +494

    I don’t know what I like more: the fact that Biden just might win the election, or how much Stephen’s wife laughs at his jokes. A man who can make his lady laugh is a keeper. So wholesome ❤️

    • @jessefisher1809
      @jessefisher1809 Před 3 lety +44

      I'm glad joe biden is winning but I'm kind of depressed its this close. Somebody like trump should not win more than 10% of the vote. There is a serious problem in america.

    • @helloken
      @helloken Před 3 lety +7

      I loved that too. The best laugh-track you can ask for!

    • @penguaillea7186
      @penguaillea7186 Před 3 lety +6

      I like her a ton, but I’m certainly more happy about Biden.

    • @MacGuyver85
      @MacGuyver85 Před 3 lety +15

      @@jessefisher1809 Indeed. As someone from Europe I’m baffled it’s this close. I just don’t understand why anyone would vote for Agent Orange. The man, nay, child is a conman, a liar, a crook, a bully and only interested in himself. His behavior stinks of a would be dictator. So having half your country vote for someone like that? Crazy!
      I guess it’s true, America, either you die a hero, or live long enough to become the villain.
      Good luck!

    • @Stralia_Silvuh
      @Stralia_Silvuh Před 3 lety +4

      I love it, too. It’s adorable!

  • @AgeClips
    @AgeClips Před 3 lety +196

    I'm totally stressed out and I'm not even an American 😂

    • @stevenewart3873
      @stevenewart3873 Před 3 lety +11

      I hear you

    • @lilxsweet
      @lilxsweet Před 3 lety +11

      Omg! I know what you mean, Idc who it is, just want orange man gone.

    • @jessefisher1809
      @jessefisher1809 Před 3 lety +6

      Totally man. I felt so high strung on election day. And righfully so. The result of this election is going to have a long lasting effect on the whole world.

    • @cacaty3262
      @cacaty3262 Před 3 lety +6

      Same here and I'm from London

    • @midnight8341
      @midnight8341 Před 3 lety +13

      Same here, I'm from Germany. I keep refreshing the live ticker to see if Nevada is already decided and it stresses me out SO MUCH.
      I just want this orange turd to be gone...

  • @morespamfortom
    @morespamfortom Před 3 lety +1

    Love the Graham piece at the end. So good!

  • @PJ-vh6jr
    @PJ-vh6jr Před 3 lety +41

    He actually spelled Poles with a capital P so actually, he's referring to the Polish.

    • @PJ-vh6jr
      @PJ-vh6jr Před 3 lety +2

      everyone knows the Poles never close.

    • @pammcintyre5344
      @pammcintyre5344 Před 3 lety

      PJ, its polls

    • @Outside85
      @Outside85 Před 3 lety +1

      @@PJ-vh6jr Well, in Europe if they do, it means you aren't paying them the agreed amount and they will leave you with a half-finished bathroom.

  • @mercedesgomez8258
    @mercedesgomez8258 Před 3 lety +283

    AZ: Count those votes
    Georgia: stop the count
    WTF? Trumpers

  • @CatsMeowPaw
    @CatsMeowPaw Před 3 lety +37

    Stephen, as an Australian I would like to thank you for doing your part to remove Donald Trump from office, while also giving us a good laugh at the same time. Now that's what I call a win-win situation.

    • @alexwarner6111
      @alexwarner6111 Před 3 lety

      Looking good for Biden and betting agencies have already paid out, but I’m still nervous until it all becomes official.

  • @thetravelingteach
    @thetravelingteach Před 3 lety +2

    I love that his wife is there and giggling. She loves him so much. 🥰

  • @wiscogirl81
    @wiscogirl81 Před 3 lety +1

    I have never been more proud to say I am from WISCONSIN!!!! Excluding that we are a COVID Hotspot
    #proudbluecheesehead!!!!

  • @jimmyguitar2933
    @jimmyguitar2933 Před 3 lety +189

    It's cute that Stephen's wife still laughs at his jokes.

    • @JohnnyBGood11
      @JohnnyBGood11 Před 3 lety +1

      Colbert paid her just like he pays her to have sex with him...LOL

    • @Blafina
      @Blafina Před 3 lety +3

      They’re so cute together

    • @jamessuraciart
      @jamessuraciart Před 3 lety

      Kinda unprofessional to bring one's wife to work...

  • @Vitriol-Divergent
    @Vitriol-Divergent Před 3 lety +643

    Trump: "If you count more ballots you're going to find more votes! That's how you lose an election!"

    • @pt8531
      @pt8531 Před 3 lety +16

      😂 😂 😂

    • @drewstaser9726
      @drewstaser9726 Před 3 lety +22

      Just like how George Washington once said,
      "Shut up man, I am rigging an election here!"

    • @JohnSmith-vc3wj
      @JohnSmith-vc3wj Před 3 lety +16

      Nevada's a blue state. It's over for donnie

    • @jamesluallen3550
      @jamesluallen3550 Před 3 lety +26

      It's almost like covid testing causes more cases

    • @ericwilliams1659
      @ericwilliams1659 Před 3 lety +6

      Well trump thinks he can cure covid by just not testing people.

  • @ekbrandon93
    @ekbrandon93 Před 3 lety +4

    Evie laughing off camera is the best part of this video, especially when she laughs in response to Stephen claiming himself to be the sexiest man alive

  • @Beginstheman
    @Beginstheman Před 3 lety +1

    0:22 GET OUTTA HERE!!! GET! GO! GET! HRRR! HRRR!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @beberivera7011
    @beberivera7011 Před 3 lety +307

    I'm scared that were currently in a time, in THIS Country, that we have to talk about something so heinous!
    ALL OF THE VOTES MATTER!!!!

    • @redjellonian8126
      @redjellonian8126 Před 3 lety +6

      All votes matter

    • @clqudy4750
      @clqudy4750 Před 3 lety

      @@redjellonian8126 AVM lol, maybe a little racist, too How dare you!

    • @Cruxispal
      @Cruxispal Před 3 lety

      @mitebg I mean, it probably won't matter, but Al Gross has an outside chance to win the Senate which would help Democrats (kind of) seize control of the Senate if they win one other senate seat.

    • @luckymouse1988
      @luckymouse1988 Před 3 lety +2

      Americans like to pat themselves on their backs about how democratic they are, but truth is, with gerrymandering and other voter suppression tactics, they're one of the least democratic countries of "the West".

    • @f9mike
      @f9mike Před 3 lety +1

      @@redjellonian8126 yes they do, black, asian, latino, LGBTQ, man, women, doesn't matter, every vote counts

  • @tamarrosenberg5245
    @tamarrosenberg5245 Před 3 lety +53

    i love hearing Colbert's wife laugh in the background and seeing his response to it!

    • @grungehamster8
      @grungehamster8 Před 3 lety +2

      It's strange how quickly I got used to late night shows without laughter and now how refreshing it is to hear it again. The best is that it's real laughter! Let's never go back to laugh tracks

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse Před 3 lety

      @@grungehamster8 -- I don't know why people keep saying this thing about laugh tracks. Did you not see the jam-packed audiences in the Ed Sullivan Theater when Colbert was doing the show on stage?

    • @grungehamster8
      @grungehamster8 Před 3 lety

      @@ValerieJNorse I'm pretty exhausted these days, so I may not have phrase my thoughts clearly. I was speaking more broadly about my hope that talk shows/ late night shows won't utilize laugh tracks when they're able to resume filming in front of an audience. I'm not looking for an argument, that's all I have to say.

  • @pontiuspilot9301
    @pontiuspilot9301 Před 2 lety

    It's Feb 14th 2022! Love the rapport between Stephen and Evie! Happy Valentine's day to the Colberts! Btw Ive been binge watching the old shows from the closet! Compared to the news today these are a breath of hope and fresh air. Peace and Love dear friend Stay safe!

  • @tesswinker2482
    @tesswinker2482 Před 3 lety

    Greetings from Minnesota! Stay safe everyone!

  • @hms3412
    @hms3412 Před 3 lety +31

    I love how his wife laughs at his jokes. so beautiful and so cute.

  • @kimjongfun5427
    @kimjongfun5427 Před 3 lety +563

    "I won bigly.....if you just don't count all the votes for the other guy." - Donald Trump

    • @Casper-fl1wy
      @Casper-fl1wy Před 3 lety +2

      March of the Mindless - Casper
      An ANTI-Q and MAGAt Anthem
      These people are f*cking bonkers.
      czcams.com/video/6I4YB2sARi4/video.html
      Please share.

    • @Casper-fl1wy
      @Casper-fl1wy Před 3 lety +3

      @@joec1600 Nope, just a musician who knows how to copy and paste.

    • @OtayBuckwheat
      @OtayBuckwheat Před 3 lety +11

      "The Biggest Loser"
      Might be a good reality show for Trump to check out next.

    • @drewstaser9726
      @drewstaser9726 Před 3 lety +7

      I didn't lose! I merely failed to win!

    • @joec1600
      @joec1600 Před 3 lety

      @@Casper-fl1wy damn alright I’m sorry 😐 I’m also a musician too!! I’m sorry I’m going to delete cuz I’m slow:/

  • @cheryla9834
    @cheryla9834 Před 3 lety +2

    Stephen, omg this was your best ever!!!!!! Hilarious!!!! you are awesome

  • @slodose
    @slodose Před 3 lety +2

    You are a funny man! Great to have your wife in the studio 👍

  • @KatMatthews91
    @KatMatthews91 Před 3 lety +205

    The amount of red that’s on the map makes me sick. As a Latina woman I’m extremely perplexed 🤔 who looks back at the last 4 years and says “4 more years, please”

    • @GreaterSociety
      @GreaterSociety Před 3 lety +16

      Lol there's a shit ton of Latinos who support Trump. For some reason

    • @billyagpalo6519
      @billyagpalo6519 Před 3 lety

      *WA

    • @edaj1990
      @edaj1990 Před 3 lety +20

      Some people will always vote for their party no matter what, or only vote that way because of one issue (immigration, abortion, etc.).

    • @KatMatthews91
      @KatMatthews91 Před 3 lety +4

      @@edaj1990 u right, boo.

    • @brianmozeti7551
      @brianmozeti7551 Před 3 lety +2

      THRUTH: If you count ALL of TRUMP states. He wins 272 to 264. And that’s giving NV, MI and WI to Sleepy Joke!

  • @bullzeyez3236
    @bullzeyez3236 Před 3 lety +676

    Maybe the mail in ballets would have been counted faster if the usps had not been slowed down by some asshole messing with sorting machines. Oh wait,,,,,

    • @jules7558
      @jules7558 Před 3 lety +57

      And they failed to comply with the Judge's order to sweep for and deliver 300,000 missing ballots by 4 pm today. Someone is going to do time. It will be a DeJoyous occasion.

    • @sublimez5385
      @sublimez5385 Před 3 lety +21

      On top of that, some states only count the mail in ballots after their voting polls closed....despite early warnings that they should start counting before election due to the expected huge volume of mail in ballots this year....

    • @sheryleddins6239
      @sheryleddins6239 Před 3 lety +3

      Ouch! Well done.

    • @lilly_ann
      @lilly_ann Před 3 lety +1

      @@jules7558 will he do time though?..

    • @katschs3965
      @katschs3965 Před 3 lety +9

      The problem with mail in ballets (sic) is fitting the toe shoes in an envelope 😉

  • @recovered4life
    @recovered4life Před 3 lety

    I really love Mrs. Colbert's laughing off to the side. Please let us keep her there always. :)

  • @LordOfTheBored
    @LordOfTheBored Před 3 lety +6

    Now Donny had a 2020 like so many other Americans: Lost his job, faces an eviction and his wife is planning to leave him.

    • @lford1130
      @lford1130 Před 3 lety

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @TheDneaves
      @TheDneaves Před 3 lety

      I hate Trump as much as any sane person, but this a rather savage time to leave him. Lol

  • @Falcon9Block5
    @Falcon9Block5 Před 3 lety +186

    Hearing people laugh in the background makes this kinda wholesome

    • @Fluffisnoterm
      @Fluffisnoterm Před 3 lety +9

      Going by the comments here, it seems that’s his wife.

    • @Falcon9Block5
      @Falcon9Block5 Před 3 lety +9

      @@Fluffisnoterm I love that! That's adorable!

    • @shadoudirges
      @shadoudirges Před 3 lety +4

      It's the genuinely captured reactions emoted that adds a more satisfying layer to things like this.

    • @Resinpro
      @Resinpro Před 3 lety +1

      Yep it’s his wife(and sound/video crew at times) she’s got a great laugh AND you can see the twinkle in Stevens eye when he looks over on the punchlines

    • @Falcon9Block5
      @Falcon9Block5 Před 3 lety +2

      @@Resinpro Yep she has a really nice laugh. Like hearing an audience laugh is nice but for me, just hearing a small group of people being genuine and 100% comfotable at home and laughing is a much nicer thing. I'm not saying Steven with an audience is not genuine, ig im tryna say that hearings his wife and the few others helping him record laughing just adds a really "homey" feel to it. :D

  • @jphwang1312
    @jphwang1312 Před 3 lety +67

    I'm so glad to be here for this group therapy session with y'all.

  • @rutherfordcamps3584
    @rutherfordcamps3584 Před 3 lety +2

    As a Rhode Islander, I appreciate the acknowledgement of our existence

  • @Daluna13
    @Daluna13 Před 3 lety +1

    "Social distancing is difficult in Road Island cause you stand 6 ft apart from someone you are in Connecticut." Its such an easy joke to make but funny every time

  • @Karl_Drogo55
    @Karl_Drogo55 Před 3 lety +59

    Him claiming there’s cheating going while he’s cheated the country millions of dollars with his TAX EVASION is baffling..
    Saying you won the election that early last night while he was ahead is like a basketball team saying in the 1st quarter “Guys were up right now and winning this game but they want to continue running the clock and adding scorers points well into the 2nd 3rd and even 4th quarter , can you believe that??”

    • @maythesciencebewithyou
      @maythesciencebewithyou Před 3 lety +4

      He's cheating the nation millions by simply golfing. I think it was about 140 milion dollars last I checked. Rep voters will tell you that's less than 50cents per citizen and they gladly pay for that. They would however get a melt down if the Democrats were to give 50cents to homeless people.

  • @DoubleOBond
    @DoubleOBond Před 3 lety +45

    Nevada, we're all gambling on you tonight.

  • @Slater6977
    @Slater6977 Před 3 lety +1

    “What I legally have to call his mouth” omg I’m choking

  • @johnley.youtube
    @johnley.youtube Před 3 lety +1

    Stephen Colbert is gold ✨👏🏼✨

  • @proxy7362
    @proxy7362 Před 3 lety +157

    Can't wait to see "you're fired" trending on Twitter but it's to Trump haha.

    • @wherearethemoderates175
      @wherearethemoderates175 Před 3 lety +10

      Great political cartoon with Uncle Sam or maybe Lady Liberty handing him a pink slip. “You’re Fired!!”

    • @arrietty1619
      @arrietty1619 Před 3 lety +5

      Fauci to Trump:

    • @cmpl24
      @cmpl24 Před 3 lety +2

      As well as the word “Karma”

    • @izzalp
      @izzalp Před 3 lety +2

      Yeah, I have my GIF ready, just waiting to send to him😂😂

    • @proxy7362
      @proxy7362 Před 3 lety +1

      Update: IT'S TRENDING! Wooo!

  • @danhofeld6727
    @danhofeld6727 Před 3 lety +20

    Thank you Stephen, for helping to lighten these past four years, and bringing me to laughing to tears with this episode. Please keep doing EXACTLY what you do! Peace.

  • @SisterSherryDoingStuff
    @SisterSherryDoingStuff Před 3 lety +2

    I love Evie's laugh!! Please keep her there after covid!!!

  • @rparl
    @rparl Před 3 lety +2

    Count every ballot and climb every mountain.

  • @ryankennard6626
    @ryankennard6626 Před 3 lety +255

    The biggest laugh from his wife, Evie, comes as Stephen declares himself “Sexiest Man Alive.” This is every husband’s experience (except Blake Lively’s husband).

    • @lauragn4300
      @lauragn4300 Před 3 lety +20

      Wait, what? I thought Stephen Colbert is the sexiest man alive💙🇺🇸

    • @ella17734
      @ella17734 Před 3 lety +8

      Oh, no Blake laughs at her husband regularly. That's love 😉

    • @Mach1048
      @Mach1048 Před 3 lety +6

      Well, to be fair, Colbert did make Maxims Hottest 100 one year.

    • @kurtisorcher797
      @kurtisorcher797 Před 3 lety +3

      Well, and Camilla Alves' husband...
      (OK, I'm talkin' about Matt McConaughey. I had to look it up).

    • @RM-ed1if
      @RM-ed1if Před 3 lety

      I thought Ryan Reynolds was gay?

  • @anjanaganesh3425
    @anjanaganesh3425 Před 3 lety +91

    "Social distancing is hard in Rhode Island because if you stand six feet away from someone, you're in Connecticut" 🤣 Epic, Stephen.

  • @somaticpilates4u
    @somaticpilates4u Před 3 lety

    thank you Wisconsin... please stay safe!

  • @bregancool980
    @bregancool980 Před 3 lety

    The Mitten came through!! Praise be

  • @macronencer
    @macronencer Před 3 lety +29

    Stephen - I'm in England, and I first discovered you on CZcams back in 2016. You became my sane link to the news from America, leapfrogging over all the mainstream nonsense and Twitter trolls to deliver bite-size pieces of information with a comedy frosting. It's wonderful to see you so upbeat!

  • @nicole4779
    @nicole4779 Před 3 lety +79

    Does anyone else enjoy Steve’s wife’s laughter just as much as the monologue? 😂😌