INFJ: 6 Ways to be a Healthier INFJ
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- čas přidán 25. 08. 2024
- Ways to develop into a healthier INFJ.
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Your hair is lookin' so cool and attractive today, who can resist subscribing? :D
Heyy thank you for the vedio it was really helpful and the haicut suits you a lot i hope you're having a good day too and you're well
I procrastinated grocery shopping for two weeks because I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to get...
Frank James Yes I agree that it will take time to figure out who you are. Stick to it though cuz it will happen!
Hi I think you should do infjs neighbor the infp and how they can make themselves better aswell. I know it's off topic😊
Just a rando thought
I'm gonna practice being spontaneous - tomorrow at 2 pm.
Boston Terrier 😂
Omg that's hard I would be rattling in spontaneous doing. Good luck
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LOL! Witty
Resonating so hard with this 🤣
1. Be spontaneous, playful, go with the flow
2. Put yourself first, not sacrifice. It is okay to make people unhappy
3. Be more present, be there in the moment, the your body instead of being in the next month, year ... :))
4. Learn from others, gathering different perspectives; take in from others, be open
5. Take care of your body, respect the physical world.
6. Let people see the REAL you. ( we like to move around with others to FIT in, keep every else feel good ) . Be authentic, be comfortable for who you are. Play the social game by your REAL self.
I feel like i am fully being exposed by this guy 😂
Reading us to filth !🤣🤷🏾♀️
Same
Yea same 😐
Anh Thư Phạm I feel expose to
Was totally hoping someone listed the points in a neat comment ❤️
When he said be spontaneous because we INFJs like to plan a lot;
i was already planning on how to be spontaneous...
Daym trueeee....
I was thinking, okay, how do I prepare to be spontaneous?
1. Be more spontaneous 0:28
2. Put yourself first 3:37
3. Be in the moment 6:28
4. Be open minded toward others 8:16
5. Take care of your body 11:18
6. Let others see the real you 13:02
_As I write down on my "to do" list_
Observe the childrens...
See my comment.
I've done all of this and i operate a lot better as a human..
I learnt to do 2 like this week.
3 and 6 are my only problems.
Well 6 kinda, i stay myself. But I give up a lot to save others
Thank you so much for this!
Needed this a lot. I hope I become healthier and become a better person for myself and for others. This goes to everyone out there as well :) You can do it :>
Planning out how to plan less? 🤣
Sounds about right.
Not plan at all is like scraps things
it is kinda hard tho , what do you think!?
No planning huh, seems like somebody’s going jack sparrow these upcoming days lol
It seems like the problem with going with the flow, is that I already have a plan and then someone interrupts it.
I just want to go with MY flow, not someone else's !,lol
Frank: express yo self
Me: ...no
you will eventually
Coz they can read your mind and what will you say.
Lollllllllllllll
Imma wear black and hide in a corner
Pfffff express yourself
I made the likes 420
“you get mad at other people because you have the decision you want to make, but you’re trying to get everyone else on board before you feel like you can do it” omg this is me faaaark nooooo
And the 7th way to be a healthier INFJ: Chill out about having to be such a prescriptivist about grammar and use some funky fresh prepositions to end your sentences with ;)
I really struggle with being in the present. It’s like I have my own world in my head that’s keeping me from living in the real world. It’s really weird but as soon as i start listening to music for example it’s so hard for me to stop thinking about the unrealistic dreams I made up. I‘m constantly in a battle with my self to stop being in my fantasy.
Hope that wasn’t too weird lol.
i was like that, i found i loyal spontanios good friend that was rolling hes own way and just needed some INFJ power at hes side haha. but my point is he made me do things, he dragged me out of my wormhole. so maybe if you see a person thats very true to them self and others you can teach eachother to become better at what you lack. im sure i would be very different to day if it wasnt for our friendship.
@Jaco van der Merwe the worst is when you have an iportant conversation, then you began to mmble and forget what you was going to say, or when some one tells you something and you just like, yeah yeah, wait can you say that again? haha
This is SO me. I feel like the world I‘ve built in my head seems exponentially better than what the real world has to offer.
I have the same habit and it keeps me from doing my schoolwork on time 😥😥😥 I'd sit at the desk and 3 hours later realize that I have done NOTHING 😭
I'm the same way. I still havent found a way to not do that.
As an infj I think hanging out with different people and knowing them and going through all types of experiences good or bad really helps you develop A LOT, because you have to feed your Ni something and it needs experience to be able help you predict the outcomes of different situations, we need to get out far from out comfort zone to get better at dealing with life and making decisions, we need to go out there and be anxious and uncomfortable to realize that it isn't the end of the world if our plans don't work out. I've become much more flexible and spontaneous after just two years in college because I've been in different situations with different people and gained more experience and it all happened once I put myself in the most uncomfortable situations I can be in, I'm more confrontational than I was two years ago, I can easily go out with a friend out of the blue and it's really fun and I don't take things all that seriously like I did before. We just need to get through our barriers to know that water doesn't burn.
omg reading your comment makes me so happy because you were able to overcome the uncomfortable situations you were in and it also gives me hope that I'll be able to do the same! I'm at the stage where anything out of my comfort zone makes me really anxious and confrontation is something I really lack at. I hope everything is well for you!! and I hope that you continue to push yourself out there and become the best you can be! :P also i like ur profile picture ;)
@@angelakm4286 omg you're such a sweetheart 💜 I hope everything goes well for you too!!
Number 6 is the hardest for me because I struggle with my identity I don't seem to fit in anywhere and that's probably why I don't bother to be social I feel like if I am my true self in front of others they will reject me and I don't like to be noticed I would rather blend in thanks Frankie your a gem!
Anxiety has been a challenge to do what your doing. Your story has inspired me thank you!
@@samwinchester61 omg you're so welcome! I'm glad my story helped❤️ hope you'll get through whatever that is challenging you
Frank: Thank you for sitting through that, you’re a gem.
Me: Oh my god, he’s such an infj!!
*says an infj herself*
I spent my college years hanging out with yolo extroverts, I never got to do the stuff that I wanted/needed with people because I always wanted others to be happy over my own needs. Didn't work out so well cause I got depressed and I cut all those people out the final year because I was so deeply EXHAUSTED at being someone I wasn't and no one knew who I really was at all :o Not fully their fault cause I'm good at people pleasing and becoming whatever the group needs me to be, but it was so strange yet again to feel like I "see" and know people and no one did the same for me.
Sade Metsävirta
I get that!
I use to say I wish I had a friend like me,for a friend!
@@stacybalo8677 Same!
: ‘ c
Sade Metsävirta Agree!!! I’ve cut out quite a few these past 5 years.
When I read yours words i felt like it came from my mind
Frank James: try not planning something out for once
Me: ...no
Frank James: Put yourself first, be okay with upsetting people.
Me: ...no
Frank James: let others see the real you?
Me: ...no, I don't even know who that is
🤣🤣 Hahaha but really i felt attacked through the points hahahah but this is really great advice thanks FJ
Haha! I flat out hissed when his first point was to be spontaneous! 😂 I'm so bad at that!
#TeamINFJames
I've been having an identity crisis lately because I'm realizing 3 months post college that I've spent so much time blending in that I have a hard time identifying who I am and what I want. I feel like my personality is a learned behavior and not naturally who I am. The freedom to make my own choices is giving me crippling anxiety because I dont want to make the wrong decision. I feel like someone needs to dictate my every move to me because I'm lost. I just feel like a melting pot of everyone's ideas and values and not my own. I've been neck deep in the Ni-Ti loop for weeks
I know of only 2 ways in which a person can learn who they are.
1. Hardship
2. Solitude & meditation
Hardship molds us and meditation reveals to us. No one can tell you who you are, not even for infj's.
i can’t really think of any good advice right know but i feel you so much. i’m only recently starting to realize the effects of too much people pleasing. even thinking of this makes me... well, mortified. but it’s a start.
remember that you are valid and good no matter how lost you feel.
Hey it's not Monday if you're not having an identity crisis and you're an infj. 😁
@The Prospectors yes! This is so true. I'm having a hard time choosing a career path because people normally decide based on what they're good at or passionate about. I can be good at anything if I'm dedicated enough and I'm not particularly passionate about any one thing
Going thru the same thing. INFJ here.
"Let people get to know the real you"
-begins to hyperventilate-
I literally am making a piece of artwork for a friends little brothers birthday, and my plan is to sneak it into his room with no tag so that NO ONE will know that it was from me. Because to me, when I create things, whether it's images or literature, it's a piece of me that's so authentic that I can't ever share it with others. If I let others see it, it's only ever done with 110% anonymity. It's like laying my soul out and I just have never been able to do that.
A boyfriend at the time found a picture I made. When we broke up, he tore it to shreds out of anger- it hurt more than it should have.
I'm so sorry he did that, I could literally feel your hurt as I read that.
No, it hurt you exactly the amount it should have. Because that's a terrible thing to do. 😢
"where am I gonna park?" gives me so much anxiety xD
I don’t really go out with people because I’m so afraid I won’t be myself. I will do stupid, uncharacteristic things to try to fit in with people and I won’t even realize it at the time. Then I’ll get home and I’ll be full of guilt. I’m a super wholesome, innocent person and I’ll act the exact opposite of that if I’m with a group of people if I feel like being my wholesome, innocent self will make me vulnerable or “uncool.” It’s absolutely the worst and I’ve tried being mindful of it and not doing it... but it still happens.
I absolutely agree. I do not know why I have such a hard time revealing what I really want out of fear of hurting other people. However, it is possible to train your bravery to be yourself! I'm currently on that way
Avoid that group of people!
Definitely relate. I mostly stay alone these days after work. Not the healthiest. But it feels healthier than being around people where i can't speak and be my truth. We're a weird species to the majority so it's challenging.
I’m so terrified of letting people know who I really am. Graduating college and having all those new experiences has made me realize that this fear isn’t something that you can just “get over”, for anyone, not just INFJ’s. Still, that’s one of the primary reasons why I’m on this channel. I want to be understood and yet I’m mortified of the consequences of being my true self. I’ve been told implicitly over and over by people that I’m “too much” and honestly it’s one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had. I just feel like so much of my way of thinking is so BACKWARD from what everyone else feels and thinks. And when I try to explain a lot of what you thankfully put into words for me in this video, to other people in my own life, I’m met with misunderstandings and a weird judge of character. I never want to be taken the wrong way, yet I almost always am. It’s so scary to be stuck in this loop.
Your lucky you know about your abilities now while you’re young ,you have some time to sort things out, I’m 54 just found out about this personality trait I have, it’s a bit overwhelming , I am wondering how My life would have turned out if I would have known this information 20 years ago 💡
The military will teach you to deal with fear very effectively
And the part of the lesson here is to be yourself with out feeling the need to explain yourself...because everyone is too into themselves to care!
Gerald Cecka me too 54 - I do wonder if I had known about mbti in my teens
You are enough just as you are 😊 if people say you're too much when you show your true colors, it could be you fooled them for a long time, or that they just don't appreciate you. But the sooner you trust a little-just enough to let them see your character-the sooner you can gauge if the friendship is worth it
As an INFJ, I can confirm: you unleash your true potential when you are unhealthy and lose the power when becoming healthy
The chameleon effect isn't even something I was ever aware of until I learned about INFJ'S. I would literally absorb everyone around me, adjust, and then go home and wonder why in the world I acted that way. For me, it was never a game I was consciously playing. Many times though, I would absorb certain people, go home, and then spend the next day or so in imitation mode if they were someone I really liked.
Anyone out there does this?
Yes, I end up unconsciously taking on others' mannerisms, accent, etc within a few minutes of talking to them.
Tell me about it. I felt so confused until I knew it was thing 😕
I am really happy that you mentioned body/health, you don't always hear that one in self help guides. I think many intuitive types (not just INFJ) tend to neglect their body more then xSxx types.
Take care of your life-temples guys, whatever pathetic it sounds! When you lose health, it's very hard to get it back ...
Přesně....
I started being concerned about my health in 2009, so I began changing my diet towards super-healthy, and it's made me look (a lot) younger, feel younger, and it's basically made a world of difference.
There's barely anything I can't do at 46, that I could in my 20's.
My metabolism has even come back to what it was back then (super-high).
I feel like I'm going to live to 160.
If anyone wants to know about it, I'll be happy to tell you.
I don't get enough hours of sleep and don't eat enough :|
@@silvergreylion Sure I'd like to learn more :)
@@amara560 All right, first step is dropping meat.
Second step; dropping dairy products and getting all the essential nutrients you need, mostly from natural sources.
I start off my day with a wok-mix lightly heated in a pan. It has green beans, cut carrots, bean sprouts, parsnips root slices, yellow and red pepper pieces, peas in edible pods and judas-ear mushroom.
I add paprika and turmeric, mostly for taste, and a big pinch of seaweed powder.
I replaced butter with coconut oil maybe 12 years ago, and for bread I mostly eat some I've baked myself, or savory buns with cut wheat seeds.
At noon, when I'm at work, I eat a mix of cooked broccoli, half a jar of Uncle Ben's medium curry sauce, about 50-60g of ground flax seeds, and some of the water the broccoli was cooked in, to get a leaner consistency.
I rarely eat anything resembling an evening meal. On occasion, I thaw some cooked white beans or chick peas, heat them in a pot, add lemon juice, ground black pepper, sea salt, and soy cream.
A couple years ago, I found I was getting fat from potatoes and rice, so I cut that out, and since then, my weight has been fairly stable. I gain a few kilo during winter, and lose them again in the spring and summer.
Oranges help a lot with losing belly fat. It's like they tell the fat cells to just die.
Raw, unheated honey helps with fasting, which is also something I do a few times per year. Dissolve a spoonful of honey in half a litre of varm (not boiling, 60C at most) water or tea, and drink it.
Starting with that should make it easy to fast for 2-3 days.
For essential nutrients, I get iodine from the seaweed powder, zinc from Tahini and a supplement pill, Selenium from Brazil nuts (one per day), Boron from a supplement pill, most B-vitamins from Marmite, magnesium oxide powder (for horses, I'm a cheapskate), calcium from dandelion leaves and a supplement pill every morning.
Also, Vitamin K2 from sauerkraut, this is quite important, as it helps calcium end up where it's supposed to, instead of calcifying various organs.
Lastly, flax seed oil is very important, as it's the biggest source of Omega-3 oil from plants. No other seed has a higher ratio of Omega-3 oil. It needs an oil found in coconut oil to be converted to the final form in the body, but if you're using that instead of butter, you're getting it anyway.
I always sleep with a door or window open, as I found out I often wake up with a headache if I didn't.
*currently in bed at 3am finally ready to go to bed*
*has gut feeling FJ just posted*
Wow I love finding new ways to avoid sleeping
Lol I started listening to music these last hours. I was finally convinced that I was ready to sleep now. Then FJ decides to post up his video. Cant win tonight :/ 😂
You were not alone in sleeplessness. 💜
Same here but its now 4:14.
Just realized his initials are FJ and he has all these videos on INFJs so I'm assuming that's what he is. Funny coincidence.
Why do I relate to this so much? Mom, m scared XD
This video is so perfect. I do feel that being an INFJ I’ve been mostly misunderstood my whole life. I’ve had people think I’m boring, fake, manipulative and cold. Which is all very hurtful to me because I just want to make sure everyone is happy to the point where I forget myself. I’ve always found it difficult to identify who I actually am because I tend to be a chameleon in interpersonal relationships, thinking it was what others wanted from me. I’m finally at a place in my life where I am conscious of these things. I think all six of these tips are super useful and some I’ve already tried to implement into my life. I definitely have been super unhealthy and underdeveloped to the point where I’d see events unfolding in repetition until I actually realised what was going on. 🤯
Ppltellmethatimafakeimnotsureiftheirright
Recently I took this MBTI test and I was shocked because I saw how accurate everything is, considering that I am also INFJ. Your videos are really good and very accurate. I always analyse PEOPLE, their behaviour, like I am trying to find the true meaning of everything, I live too much in my past. I feel for example, that other people move on after breakup easily then me, I am very often in some nostalgic mood I can't explain. Sometimes I feel nostalgia for places or people I never saw before...I hope fellow INFJs will know what I mean. And I always admired those people with ,,strong identity'' you know when they enter the room their energy just fill the space and they always can say ,,This is me, this is who I am this is what I love...'' They don't actually say that with words but it just can be felt in the air if you know what I mean. And I never in my life felt that I had some true identity. I was friends with so different people. All my friends in life were so different types of people. For example I can go to the club and listen rock music and be ,,crazy girl who rock the dancefloor'' and the other day I can go to library with other friend and read existential novels. And in both situations I will feel good and enjoy them in different way.
Your videos really help me because before I was thinking I was lost and something's wrong with me but now I see I am just blessed/cursed with being INFJ haha :) And thanks for this advices
Whenifallasleepigetflashesofinsightasirelaxkeeppenandpaperonnightstand
yes literally blessed/cursed with being INFJ.
This is so me
Sounds like the kinda friend a friend needs, lol, whatever they are we are their mirror.
I’m strongly know your feelings, I usually feel the nostalgia
I'm a teacher and I've learned so much since I started working with children, and I'm a much better person for it. Children are so creative and free...they lack all the filters we develop to "fit in" and be "responsible" in adulthood. They remind me to be more open and more spontaneous... basically working with kids helps me be a healthier INFJ. Sometimes I think kids are smarter than adults. 😄
Britta Buchanan agreed 😊
I’m a special education teacher too and I totally agree. This is my 8th year I believe and I’ve learned so much. I learn more every year..it’s awesome.
Learning from little childrens is one of the best things we can do. Kids are so spontaneous and do live in the moment.
Good vid, Frank. Thank you ✌🏻
I wasn't lol
Beautifully put. 💞
Vivian Madeline aww thank you 💞
Yea, they havent been adultized yet like we have. They don't know the rules we covertly live by.
Naivegedanke 😂
my favorite thing is when he says “let’s pause for a commercial break” but i didn’t get an ad lmao
I'm a 66 year old INFJ and it is really hard to know who I am and what I might want. Thanks for your videos. They are helping me to see who I am and what I need to work on.
It is so random, but I think that's haircut is really suite you.
Stop it mate hah u get me right
tika rohayati i prefer it long!
Lol, are you guys INFJ?
He’s hella cute with that hair
IM SO AFRAID OF BEING MYSELF! Throughout high school I was (and still am) the chameleon. Changing with my surroundings and trying to make others happy. But as soon as I say or do something I like, I would be made fun of, or others would find it weird. They weren’t being rude, it was just that since I’ve put on this mask to be someone else, when my true self poked out, others, and even myself, wouldn’t understand it.
Now I’m out of high school and Im about to go to college, and I’m trying hard this summer to let go of being perfect and stop relying on others to define who I am. I ask myself “what do I want?” Instead of “what would others think of me if I did this?”
But it isn’t easy, especially when I’ve been hiding from myself most of my life.
I just want to say thanks to FJ because Im realizing this is a huge struggle I want to get over so I can flourish and be my best creative self.
I want to find me again
Do it now. The older you get, the harder it is to know who you are. At 45 I have no idea anymore. Married with children so dont really have the opportunity to find out. Figure it out before you trap yourself.
This me 100% it's something Im still working on as we speak.
So beatyful my friend u.u Yes, we need to flourish and enjoy all our inner richness. Thank you, you touch my heart this nigth.
I get it! I'm INFJ too. Don't Wait! I started seeking late and now at 74, finally comfortable in my skin. Yet could have had a fuller life had I known then.
These videos help tremendously to understand the real me underneath the shape shifter. Too, I've found several spiritual people and their sites who validate this video's message and present ways to navigate this inner and outer world. I tried several until finding those who resonate,
About number 5, taking care of your body: I feel like only now when I'm in my mid-late 30's I am starting to realize how important this really is. Healthy nutrition, healthy sleep (both enough and going to bed a couple hours BEFORE midnight) and not least exercise, are so incredibly important for your overall well-being, mood and general functionality. If only I had listened to my mother and prioritized all that stuff from when I was a teenager.
Putting yourself before others: This is a BIG one for me. I'm learning that "others" can be family too. "Others" can be suicidal siblings and crackhead uncles that refuse to get any help. When I've done everything I can do and they just don't care--or determined to resent me--I have to just love them afar and proceed with living my life. I'm way old, so that took me a long time to realize that. Observing and and engaging with the 2 ENTJ friends (associates) I go out with from time to time have been very helpful. I love them, but keep them at arm's length lol, but I really admire their natural ability to compartmentalize their feelings and their ability to "Jar" and put away their genuine emotions for a more appropriate time.
Listening to their perspective on things has really helped balance all my super heavy feeeeeelings with hard core logic and just remind me that life isn't fair all the time and that I just have to press on for their sake. Put the oxygen mask on yourself--then the baby.
Hey Frank,
I've definitely had problems with your second point in the past, likely amplified from my childhood. Something I'd like to remind other INFJs is that there are people out there which will also take advantage of this nature. Identifying those who will (possibly unintentionally) manipulate by way of guilt trips, and are doing so, and standing against them assisted me in overcoming this problem. Just knowing their emotions are coming from a selfish place reframed the question from "making a sacrifice" to "being a victim." Now, I'm more willing to ruffle feathers even if I'm not a "victim."
Hope this helps others get to a healthier place.
Alan Rooney entering the workforce & then noticing patterns of people using me as their doormat..it took me 10 years to put it all together. People will really sniff us out & try to manipulate us. It’s a good point to raise. I’ve often tried to take the high road & continue acting with pure intentions. It’s difficult when integrity means so much
@@fluffyclouds555 Completely agree about integrity, but personally I resolved that the greater good trumps my sense of integrity. By standing against the manipulation, or possibly returning the favor if it's deserved (I cannot emphasize enough how extreme the behavior must be) with the likelihood of changing the manipulator's behavior, you prevent others from suffering the same fate. At which point, integrity says to rebel, at least to me.
Same
I think putting me first works only when I’m alone, when in a relationship I was not capable of my needs first.
Maybe try balancing out both of your needs.
Wow, I can relate to this🤦🏾♂️
pkh Same.
So true for myself as well!
pkh same and I’m pregnant right now so that’s going out the damn window for sure 😭😂
As an INFJ (Arab) living in Dubai, it fascinates me to be exposed to watching other INFJs, living in different parts of the world. Our challenges are somehow different and none is speaking of it. I may speak of it one day and try more to connect to other INFJs worldwide.
I was thinking about this too! I have an INFJ friend(Japanese) and I hoped that learning his MBTI would help me better understand him. The deeper I go, though, the more I feel the need to just get better at the language and figure him out myself. MBTI is a nice framework to bounce off of, but it feels Western-based.
~your friendly neighborhood ENFP
Spontaneous planning hack - when someone asks you to do something spontaneous say 'maybe' then proceed to analyze every possible eventuality of going then say yes even though you think it's a bad idea because you don't want to disappoint your friend.
Frank, been watching you for years...it’s been cool to see you grow.
Number two is a biggie one for me. For the past four years, I have been doing things and making decisions to make other people happy, sacrificing my happiness for their's. I've been doing things and working to make other people happy, to keep the peace. I've just recently started to do things to make ME happy instead of doing things just to make others happy. Of course I have this fear of being selfish and self-centered when I make decisions, but I'm working on finding my perfect balance. Thank you for what you do, Frank James 🖤
Been doing whats best for others my whole life. I Stopped doing that for the past year or more. Now I have no friends.
(:
I feel you are my personal psychologist, no doubts I'm an INFJ hardcore
Personal Growth Checklist
✅Spontaneity
❌Stop pleasing others
❌Having an identity
✅Focusing on improving myself
❓Stop indulging
✅Going with the flow
Remember: No matter what you do, you will never have control over someone’s reaction. People are only happy if they want to be happy, not because you made them happy.
I could share my experience here and hopefully someone might learn something new from it. What I wanted to say is that if I have a unique trait, for example me not being a local, I noticed that I have to work and study as twice as hard to get recognized, to get a better raise, to be liked and accepted in society.
It’s not always about hiding who you are as that can be physically impossible, it’s about how hard you work to achieve your goals in a country that is not yours.
I know I am nice, and I don’t want to make anyone sad, but I also believe there is no room for me to make mistakes, or to be selfish.
That’s my experience. You have to go through all that to understand what I am saying I guess :)
I went through the exact same scenario as an infj , and I wanna tell you to not burn your self , after you finish school you will find out that it really didnt matter , and you will propbably surpass all your peers , trust me ....
Good morning Frank
Nice follow up to 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ.
So funny, because last night I found myself up most of the night imagining the future, just thinking about what comes next after I make a decision, or take some action, projecting years into the future, imagining specific conversations I will have to have.
Get out of my head Frank- there's only room for one neurotic INFJ up there.
Lol I felt like he was reading my mind, and like I had just been exposed, very different feeling for me, usually that’s me 🤣, I like wanted to click off but the advice was too good
Bro I literally made an account on here just to thank you for your videos, I really struggle with all of these problems severely and sometimes I feel hopelessly lost but watching the things you say has helped me tremendously lately with noticing many of my behaviors and how I carry myself in everyday situations
I want to desperately be a better person and not have these weak aspects of myself where I can’t even go somewhere just because I don’t feel confident being around other people
Your videos are really helping me to the understand what is going on with me and why I do the things I do
Thank you!
"That's how the world is" Aw!! that totally took me back to my former lover who was an INFJ. I learned a lot from him. I miss him so much and I hope he recovers from his addictions soon♥- INFP
Spontaneously interact with people? Sounds like a double-negative.
Confession: I'm slower than molasses in winter! By the time I've figured out and accepted the 'truth', I've already entered the next stage of life. Yuck! Getting old isn't for the faint of heart. Thanks for all the reminders, Frank.
You can regain a lot of youthfulness by changing your diet to something much healthier.
It's made a world of difference for me, and I'll tell anyone who wants to know.
I got into a marriage so my ex fiancee stopped being depressed. Seven years later, I got depression, panic attacks, and three years of therapy helped me to finnaly get out of it. Still learning how to put me first...
I understand this is most difficult task for us
INFJs can be chronic "I can fix them" types. Especially if we see someone in pain. We'd do anything to help someone else find happiness again. However, sometimes, we are too willing to hurt ourselves to achieve that end.
@@lobalee1873 So true. And I can tell how these bad experiences get us to close our hearts, isolete, fear trusting again. It is a daily battle, but worthy. I feel like reading people gets easier, and you can walk away from trouble faster.
This was so accurate and enlightening. I think you did a great job of explaining how we like to play the game and act differently depending on the group of people that we are with at the time. Social intelligence is an important skill to have, but if we camouflage ourselves too much it can start to feel like we don't have a very consistent personality. Thank you for sharing, your videos are always entertaining to watch!
INFJames is a thing now!!
Thanks for this video! I literally had to learn all the things you told in the video the past few weeks (all over again). It's good to know I'm not alone with it. Body image is a huge one - i really dislike my "container" x(
Hoi! The one that shaked me: take care of your body. So comfortable with your inner, emotional, spiritual advice, coming back to the real world (the physical body) just got my gears working. Great one, Frank!!! 👏🏼
Headspace app. Check it out.
1. Be more spontaneous
2. Learn to put yourself first (you don't need to keep others always happy)
3. Be more present
4. Remind yourself that others have something to teach you.
5. Take care of your body!
6. Let others see the real you.
I’m an INFJ and mediating, whim hoff, and working out changes everything🤙🏼🤟🏼
I don’t think people are ready for the „real“ me 😂 but i‘m actually thinking about expressing it more from time to time. Maybe I will get to know other weird people like me lol
Lydia Duma Same lol it’s really hard to open up
Lydia Duma what’s weird about you?
LOL yeah, very few seem to be " ready" for the real I, also.
Yes, you owe it to yourself, and others to express and be in your "true state" more and more. Doing the same :)
I don't create "fake" appearances for different crowds, but I have found that different people bring out different parts of my personality. I am literally incapable of being fake, like I cannot do anything that isn't really me (which is ironic because I am an actor as well, but that's different!), so I am either being some version of myself, or just sitting silently and awkwardly in the corner refusing to interact whatsoever, more frequently the latter when I'm not around someone I'm already friends with and trust.
I’m such an unhealthy INFJ. I wish I wasn’t. There are times where I absolutely love being an INFJ, but other times I hate it! I tend to define myself by my INFJ and will use it as an excuse to everything, “oh, it’s because I’m an INFJ.” Anyways, this is my favorite video of yours so far. Thank you. I need to to take these tips to heart!
The part where he talks about how some of us make decisions for other’s happiness above our own really hit me, like I realized I really don’t take care of myself
Dang, so many hard-hitting truths. You especially put your finger on WHY it's hard to value the physical aspect of self/the world and I literally had a lightbulb moment that I'm super grateful for. The one area I struggle with most, though, is staying in the present instead of constantly escaping into fantasy. I SUCK at staying in the present especially when I need to process the crappy things I may be feeling after a hard day; I have no problem helping someone else process THEIR difficult emotions, but actually experiencing my own feels intolerable, and my default coping method is to disappear into some fantasy or future world. So I rarely even know what I feel, and that's so unhealthy. I'm trying to learn how to stay in the present when I most want to escape, but it's so, so hard.
I’m 50. Never took care of my body. Now I’ve worn it out, and trying to recover something before my life becomes unlivable.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY !!!
If someone can tell me how to do that now, it would be great. I don’t need diet/exercise knowledge. How do I make myself follow through and actually DO IT???
Make it fun,and your bit of Me Time.
The problem is I actually don’t know whether i’m in the present or not. If i try to keep or remind myself to be in the present, i still feel that i’m far away from it.
Ha, does it make any sense?
Nadilionlocks I get it! I think (oops) the idea is to actually think less and just let yourself feel more and take things in, but I’m not great at this either so I might be wrong ^^; I try to just listen to the sounds of the birds, or feel the sun on my skin and do that kind of thing to start :)
If you're into any sport, you know if you aren't in the present and at least 10% in the future It's going to hurt. Even ping pong, when the ball hits your face because you were thinking about a FrankJames video, you will be aware of the present quite suddenly.
This mediation helped me with knowing whether I'm present:
"Sitting quietly, be aware of your breath. Notice the sensations in your body Listen to the sounds around you. Now, gently turn your attention back on itself. The power of attention that can be aware of sensations and thoughts can also be aware of itself. So just for a moment, turn backward your capacity for being aware and feel that you are becoming aware of your own capacity for being aware. You might experience your awareness as the container for your experience in this moment or as the part of your mind that knows you are thinking. For a moment, let yourself recognize your own awareness. Even if you can be aware of your awareness for only a moment, in that moment you will touch the primal awareness/bliss at the core of yourself."
From Awakening Shakti by Sally Kempton
It's impossible to stay in that state for more than a few seconds, but it's good way to start to be aware in the present moment.
I think FJ's advice sounds like using more of your Se. Experience the world with your senses, without analysing it. Just let it be and let yourself be in it.
Thank you guys, i practice grounding myself up to be aware of the present. Though, i often see myself and everyone from a 3rd perspective- like you’re watching a television.
It’s really hard for me to explain
@@eljaykayaye1186 when I tell you that I suck at sports because of my lack of being in the present , Im not lying n
Number 6 deserves its own mini-series.
Oh God, I listened, I cried, I laughed... This helped me a lot right now. You’re amazing.
of course when you were talking about living in the present more I started to project into the future
Hey man Jordan Peterson uploaded one of your videos on Facebook! Pretty awesome dude!
yeah i'm stunned
honestly, your videos are so helpful. you've helped me recognize a lot of unconscious patterns I was aware of but I couldn't fully grasp. It's also such a relief to recognize INFJs aren't bad people, we're just unbalanced and need to work on matching internal states with the external world and not being a turtle all the time. Get comfortable being seen and interact with this reality.
This whole video spoke to me as an INFJ I really have the same struggles I especially have been having trouble with the spontaneity thing lately and it’s really hard when I don’t have time to mentally prepare myself for something
I really resonated with the "be yourself" point. I feel its really difficult to show who I really am to anyone. I am very good at wearing different masks and morphing myself to fit into other peoples perspectives. I feel like if I really showed who I was people would think I'm even weirder than they already do.
I'm NOT ALONE! Damn, I love you all, infjs.
Thank you for this channel.
theres this famous quote that says “i am not who you think i am, i am not who i think i am, i am who i think you think i am” ... andddd it feels like that quote was written by an infj bc when i first heard it it hit so hard *^*
Got any other advice for INFJs on how to figure out who the REAL you is?
Cut out all distractions & meditate daily 💞
Lots of soul searching and reflecting. Try to seperate the buttons that are being pushed from your personality. It takes a long time, probably a life time.
Try journaling. But be true to yourself when you write it down. After a while, maybe after you finish the book, you can read it again. You can see some pattern there, about how you feel, how you act, etc.
i am looking for the answer too 😂😂😂
The real me is a brutally honest mean person
This content is really slapping me. I just found myself in a new class in high school right now, and most of people in that class was a stranger for me. I've never met them before nor talk to them. It's very hard for me to start the conversation since I don't know what to talk. I don't like small talk, I like a conversation that is meaningful. So I can not build a light conversation with other people. I can not be that spontaneous. I don't have a new friend in this new class yet. So, I think that's my problem. This video is really helping me so much. Thanks for your advice.
I had this problem too. Of course, it is not a problem to want meaningful conversations but in most cases, it is difficult to find friends another way. When I studied at university I was the type of person that goes from one person to another person to talk to, as INFJ it was weird for me that I had many acquaintances. And I did this because I start a conversation and it gets pretty boring sometimes and I was always looking for a more interesting discussion. You could ask someone about the homework, maybe someone could help you with something, it's the best way to begin a conversation even though you don't need any help. And imagining that all those people are already your friends helps too
I love how his initials are the last two letters of his personality type. Fate?
aparently I was awful in all 6 a few months ago, but got 200% better on all. I'm legit proud of myself.
Being myself around people is the hardest thing, most people get so intimidated, or jealous, and the regret of showing your true self that follows
I'm not an INfJ, but for some reason, some advice for the INFJs also resonates with me.
Might be a intj
Makes me VERYY happy to hear someone talk, oh so clearly, about all that goes thru' my mind every sec of every f'in day.. tysm💗
Finding channels and videos like this that highlight INFJs has been absolutely eye opening. It feels amazing to find so many other people who feel like I do
INFJ: Taking and eating something because you are offered it and don't want to turn them down/hurt their feelings despite knowing you dislike it. Number 2 on this list speaks to me!
I know this comment was written 3 years prior, but i did this exact same thing. I was allergic to walnuts, but I still ate the nut covered chocolate my grand-aunt gave me, because I didn't want to worry her or make her sad. Luckily my allergies aren't life-threatening, but it was still insanely uncomfortable.
Your advice is always so solid, FJ. You also have such an effortless turn of phrase that a near 20 minute video never has a dull moment and never feels cumbersome.
Great advice! 1 - no way lol (ok I may try), 2 - oh my, another tough one :o, 3 - so less living in my mind? aghhh, 4 - really good one, yep, I do forget about that, 5 - easily said (I am trying), 6 - I fear my weirdness is too much for people though?
Frank, please never stop making videos. Finding your channel has changed my life. I'm ENFP and I never really understood myself completely, even though I thought I did. I've always had a hard time with separating how I actually am vs others opinions and my opinion of myself. Finding your channel made me finally feel understood. Sometimes I feel like there's this whole other person in my head, and no one really knows me. I just don't know how to properly convey myself to others. Your videos have made me realize there is hope for me and I am not alone. Thank you for that frank. I'm not sure I ever really thought there was hope for me until now. Bit rambly, but somehow I think you're going to get what I mean anyway.
For me, the most important mental breakthrough regarding self-care vs helping others was… deleting the “vs” part. Accept that the two concepts are actually linked. YOU are one of the people you can help, and you should. If you always sacrifice your own needs, you will weaken, and your ability to help others will degrade. Self-preservation is not selfish. YOU are your most important tool for helping others. Your health and capacity are vital if you want to stay empathetic and uplifting. By caring for yourself, and seeing to your own needs, you will ultimately be more helpful to more people more often and in more ways.
LOL "if I can plan for the spontaneity" so true....
Actual thing that happened to me (INFJ) in theatre school
Instructor: walking around the room be spontaneous, the way kids are when they play
Me (INFJ): **no kids around to mimic** **can't remember how kids play** **does not compute**
lol, i also experienced this a lot of time
Oh my gosh. I cracked up when you said this body we're driving around. I literally use that exact descriptive when I refer to the physical aspect of life. I'm taking care of it. Now.
I call it the “meat sack”.
"INFJames" hahaha! love it. I really like your point on how we can shape shift to the person or group vibe that we are with. I think this is the Fe parent function and I've called it as a skill to be fluid around the sometimes less flexible (or especially for the types that wear their feelings on their sleeve being more rigid on the outside) personalities. I agree about the importance of balancing my fluidity around others to influence the harmony of the vibe in the room with my identity and allowing myself to "be seen". It helps me to do this by first defining my core values and what integrity looks like in interpersonal relationships. This helps to be my guide and focus as my identity that is unchanging even when my Fe function is actively fluid around those I'm with.
Wow this gives me confidence Im on the right track. Thank you!
Sounds like you need an ENFP to show you the way :p I'm an enfp *cough cough* 😂
Aaaaa, California. Heya, there!
😂😂
@@ChentheInfj just trying to shoot my shot 🏀 lmao
Nope. Least compatible type
@@maplenook lol it's okay 😂 I don't talk to people based on their types. I'm very open minded, but I'm also not afraid of rejection. I'm a young girl living in a world full of options and opportunities. 🤘🏼
I constantly have this issue of putting other people's issues first ,I usually feel bad when someone's not happy .Thanks for this , I"ll change that
Friends? What's that? I dont have any! Just "acquaintances" for life.
I ended up listening to this twice just to marvel at the accuracy, even though it’s too early to have you out here dragging me for being terrified of making others unhappy and lowkey treating my body like a trash can. And the part about making little life lessons out of everything because we’re natural teachers? I feel attacked rn.💀
Haha, but really though, you nailed it with this one, and you offered good solutions. You explained being me better than I can, Dr. Frank. 👨🏻⚕️
I like how you projected your future by saying 2 thousand whatever year it is, for future viewers.
All of these resonated with me. TY!
1) Be more spontaneous.
2) Put yourself first when making decisions.
3) Be more present / in the moment.
4) Be open to learning from others rather than teaching.
5) Take care of your body.
6) Let others see the real you.
Bonus: Be an INFJames 😂
yes, "a preposition is something you should never end a sentence with" - Winston Churchill, lol
Speaking of "Teaching", the girl I am dating (INFP), was really excited to share a book that changed my life - Body of Truth by Harriet Brown. I think that is a huge element of taking care of my body and mind.
Its nice to see these things, and know I am on the right path to 'Healthy'. Thanks for the video FJ!
The Mind-Body Code by Mario Martinez is great! You may find it interesting as well.
Important messages in this video, good for you for making it. Congrats on the article and Jordan posting your video.
It's really hard for me to live in the present. Sometimes, I would be so preoccupied in my head that I unconsciously break things or spill something on myself. Others find me as careless but I really am just out of focus. I live inside my head. I've noticed so many stuff around me when I became aware of this. I realized I know nothing much about my family or my friends. It makes me feel like I've been self-centered all along. Maybe I am. I don't know but it's something that have always been out of control. It's not that I only think about myself but its because I live in myself, in my head, constantly in my thoughts. You know what I mean, right? It's so frustrating. Another thing is whenever I am thinking, it's get so far ahead and I start to imagine the future. I don't also notice alot of stuff. You see when I clean my room, I'm not that specific. I just make the room decent as a whole. Like the small details are forgotten. It's the same when I'm walking or travelling. I forget everything around me even if I'm moving. And that doesn't even make sense when I think about but it happens to me all the time.
I swear this was the best therapy session I’ve had in a while
Omg just thinking about number one is giving me the nervous sweats... be spontaneous and leave things to chance...? arrggg [hyperventilating into paper bag] 😂 Thanks Frank - super helpful and considered content as always ❤️
I agree with all of them. Numbers 2 and 6 are my biggest challenges.
For me, volunteering has helped break through to be more connected with others and with the flow and be more vulnerable, seeing others being vulnerable.