INFJ Stress: What Overwhelms INFJs (and Handling It)
Vložit
- čas přidán 9. 12. 2019
- The specific stress that gets to the INFJ the most and how to handle it.
Subscribe 👉 bit.ly/frankjames
☕ If you'd like to show me some love by buying me a coffee, visit my Ko-fi page: ko-fi.com/frankjames (those who buy your boy a coffee often get early access to videos like this one)
Official FJ shirts and hoodies: www.bonfire.com/store/frankja...
FJ Fun Club: eepurl.com/gwKwST
My setup:
DSLR Camera and Lens: Canon 6D Mark ii amzn.to/2RwOLSB
Compact Camera: Sony RX100V amzn.to/2ysRSAl
Microphone: Zoom H6 amzn.to/2PKEaiL
Light: Neewer Ring Light amzn.to/2CXSvFJ
Green Screen: Elgato Green Screen amzn.to/2CXQx8s
Podcast mic: Blue Yeti amzn.to/2q3976o
El Gato Cam Link (for live-streaming): amzn.to/2JbN8oO
If you purchase through my links, I will get a commission and you will be supporting this channel.
Frank James Podcast:
Soundcloud: / frank-james-552432266
iTunes: apple.co/2ImFMzg
Spotify: spoti.fi/2VLShXZ
FJ's music (more like one song):
• Neptune
Spotify: goo.gl/C4VoXx
Itunes: goo.gl/ZGqrN1
Amazon: goo.gl/cxfRjG
Google Play: goo.gl/LdRf33
#INFJ #MBTI #16Personalities #MyersBriggs
INFJ Personality Advice, Frank James INFJ
![What it's like to have Inferior Extraverted Sensing [INFJ and INTJ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/p_f6gf0a0i4/mqdefault.jpg)
✨ Struggling and need help? Consider connecting with a licensed therapist at my sponsor, BetterHelp. Get 10% off at betterhelp.com/frankjames
Man,you have helped me a looot. I am actually trying to improve my inferior Se. I know it's hard but I am trying it.
Why there's no commercial? Hahah I have watched this before , I just rewatching it however I noticed there's no commercial whenever you say "let's see if CZcams blublubluh..."
"If I have to do something in the evening, I cant do anything all day because I have to get in the mindset." Bruh. Speaking my SOUL.
Manda Espinosa I feel so SEEN
Accurate.
yes.
Exactly!
This is so beyond accurate
what stresses me out as an INFJ:
- too much information to be handled at once
- lots of people or work at the same time
-crowds and tight spaces.
- fake people and unnecessary drama
- people who invite you to things at the last minute
- wasting time when I could be doing something productive
- being on the spotlight
EDIT: Thank you for the like, senpai
so......city life? i find that my stress went WAY up when i lived in a big (or semi big) city, moved back to a more rural area and my stress is much lower, i'm happy just looking at nature......
Omg this is so true
Yes
Yes, all of this, everything.
Me in a nutshell.
What makes me stressed:
• when I feel like I'm not in control
• when I don't know what to do
• when I forgot something
• when something goes wrong
• when I'm late or overslept
• when I don't understand what's happening
I have stress dreams about being late! Being late is sooo stressful!
@@stacie1595 Yes!! The one thing that helps is knowing I'll try the best I can and that that's enough/okay. And time isn't something we can control so it isn't worth stressing over. These things help me a little bit so I hope they can help you too. ❤❤ Have a good day!
- almost everything
@Jeremiah Stephens ohh I feel you! Yelling triggers me a lot as well
These are exactly the things that stresses me too. I'm actually stressing right now, because there is this event at work in a few days and things are still aren't finalized. I'm so worried that it might be a big mess, so I'm really freaking out and I don't know what's going to happen...
Things that stress me out as an INFJ:
- last minute changes/plans
- having to make important decisions quickly and “go with my gut” (this made learning to drive very stressful)
- my plans not going as I wanted them to go
- other people not being self-aware
- so many people not really understanding me or why I do the things I do
- social pressure to do and like so many trivial things
This is what i get stressed about on a daily basis. #1 narrcissistic abuse by everyone i know. #2 dealing with a newborn baby#3 postpartum depression#4 no help from anyone#5 messy people that don't clean up after theirselves. #6 p.t.s.d. from trama and abuse#7 anxiety when i see the news. #8 going out to the store and seeing everyone with masks on.#9 looking in the mirror for a long time. #10 being lied to by everyone all the time.
@Stef Anie :)
Feeling almost constantly misunderstood as an INFJ can really wear on your soul sometimes. But I'm glad to be getting to know myself better every day, so at least I understand and appreciate my damn self! That helps.
oh my god this totally explains the insane amounts of stress i experience while driving
"other people not being self-aware" really hit home.
School: You need to give a presentation in 6 months
Me: Mini-heart attack followed by gradual stress-buildup for the next 6 months
I love your username ♡
@@artemisrain Ty
and then panic because the presentation is tomorrow and i haven't done anything
oh boy, that's me this year. Dissertation presentation in february but I've been worrying and thinking about it for 3 months already
Suppressed panic for 5 months and then I start begging the Dean for a withdrawal.
Classic INFJ: planning next year's health & fitness routine while eating ice cream out of the bucket.
Love it! Planning years of homeschool future plans, but I need to stop and teach my 5 year old how to read. It is so true. At least I have great systems in place, INFJs are good system makers.
Olivia4448 or saying ‘ I’ll do it next month/year!’ then proceeding to keep on delaying it and never doing it.
I’m literally doing this now 😅
Oh that made me laugh so hard! So true.
I’ve gotten to the point where I sometimes catch myself planning out my own thoughts.
--THINGS THAT STRESS ME OUT--
-not having time to myself
-having too much to do, procrastinating it, and then stressing it cause i put it off
-people touching my stuff or telling me to change something (ex. clean my not messy room, eat healthy)
-not having time to mentally prepare myself and plan out all the natural outcomes
-when people who are fake and are mean to me are all crowded into the same place at the same time
I like how you itemize everything
@@yashivuvbolshomdomenakholm8274 that's who I ammm mannnn
bruh ._.
You made me through a whole distress trip right now but I love things to be listed so I know what to expect and to have it in the order so, besides I'm trembling from anxiety after reading the comment, I also loved it.
Spot on for me too!
@@izu9040 aww hun thank you. I hope your doing a little better now. its gonna be okay.
The real world: "I don't care what you're planning"
Infj: "and I took offense to that."
INFJs: present stress = crying = sitting doing nothing = More Present Stress = crying = asking the universe to help = sitting doing nothing...
This is my life
Asking the universe for help 😂😂 for real- that's how it be 😂😂
exactly
Same. F@$k!
hahaha you summed up how my days go
I am INFJ for my plan of present stress = over planing = over thinking = Panic = can't breathe = super strong Panic attack = crying = keep walking around and think = start think kill myself = walking around the window = More Present Stress = crying = asking the universe to help = STILL NOT ASK FOR FK HELP = too tired go to sleep
INFJ: What If I need a lamp in the future? What if I can't afford it? Will there be any lamps out there I like then?
Lmao 😂
TOO REAL
This is literally a thought I've had in the past... 😂
so you have to make the moneyfor bying it now so what's up!!
Ugh why you call me out 😵😂
-Loud noises
-messy spaces
-people talking over each other (like the news)
-oil changes
-the movie theater
-garage sales
-sad songs,
-violent movies (loud tv)
-being interrupted
-wastefulness
-long detailed stories
-bad/strong smells strong
-being forced to make a decision on the spot
-paying bills
-forgotten passwords
-myself lol
Thank you for listing all my stresses! I would add, that music playing and dialogue at the same time, I can listen to the song or listen to the dialogue but not both simultaneously. I usually prefer to read captions when watching movies or videos because it stresses me out less and I can focus on reading.
Loud annoying people who dont understand boundaries
I literally zoned out the entire time he was talking about being in the present moment. Could I be any more INFJ?
Same.
Wow! I’m not the only weird one in the world! Thank you! 😅
I mean that might not be your personality. I have CPTSD and that’s a thing I do all the time cause of that 😂
@@eilzmo I had to google what CPTSD is. I may have some sort of PTSD as well (self diagnosed via YT and google is super reliable, I know) so...I hear yah 😉
@@eilzmo I mean, there are several clear differences between Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and INFJ personality. I’m not showing any other symptoms of cptsd, so it’s probably safe for me to assume. 😅
It's like when someone wants to hang out last minute. I already have "nothing" planned out - I just can't "do" something else. I've been preparing for doing nothing all day! Too much to think about right now! 😆
When the phone pings a text and you JUST KNOW... you can't glance at the first few words on notification because you have 6 other texts you didn't read
Omg. THIS!
That happened to me last night someone just showed up on my door step unannounced! I was sooooo put out I had been excited to get home and do nothing all day and of course I couldn't muster up the strength to tell them that it wasn't a good time so I quietly sat in my feelings for a couple hours until they left
@@shoshanarunyon7266 I SOOOOOO hate unexpected drop bys. Why do people think that is OK? I could (and have been) soaking in a bath when someone randomly knocks on my door! And anything past 5pm is unacceptable.
I had a neighbor come and knock on my door because I ignored her phone call. I IGNORED HER PHONE CALL SO SHE FORCED HERSELF ON ME WITH A VISIT. I think she picked up that I was not pleased because she looked at me really funny.
@@shoshanarunyon7266 Yeah I always wondered why I'd get bothered by this kinda stuff. Someone would want to do something unplanned while I had already planned to to do nothing and just do nothing.. I'd always make some stupid excuse..
INFJ 🙋🏽♀️
Things that stress me out...
- Plans changing last minute
- My routine being interrupted
- I can only focus on/do one “event” a day or I get burnt out... go to work after an interview? No way!
I get burnt out so easily as an infj i feel like self care is like is like essential weekly lol.
So true. Even just making a phone call to my mom, I need to put if off for a day just so I have time to mentally prepare.
Yes! Exactly.
especially the last one. i can’t go out and work in the same day
@@Lucretciela lol I'm so like this in general but, omg, specifically what you said is happening to me right this minute - it's my mom's bday & I have to call her but I forgot until just a bit ago so am noticing that since I won't have the whole day to mentally prepare am thinking it'll have to be late tonight or tomorrow!
"When you try your best but you don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need".
I see what you did there FJ 🤭🤭🤭
Fix you
What if i want to succeed? Technically I would get what I want and what I need...
Don't mind me, I'm just another INFJ who needs therapy.
classic Coldplay
Everything in this video is so soothing for INFJ. The tone, the speed, the notification before the ad, the advice. I don't need to adjust my energy at all. Thank you!!
Yes this is like the only guy I can watch because his motions the tone and sound of his voice everything about the video makes me feel comfortable watching it
The part about how having plans for the evening will ruin the whole day is so true for me 😞
Me just yesterday. Now I'm tired and it's only the 2nd day of the schoolweek
God, yes. And it's the worst feeling
True. If I have just one or two things planned for the day, even small things, I consider the day fully booked.
Annie Hawsawi Me too. Just remember you’re awesome.
I was about to type this comment. SO TRUE
i hate when i have a plan for my day and then someone gives me an extra task. also, if i decide to stay home, even a prince charming couldnt make me leave my house. on the other hand, i dont mind when people cancel meetings he he :D
Omg. This is so me. My friends always invite me to them spontaneously and I always delay it. If I enter a day with no plans its a stay home day and i cant stop it.
Me2
S a m e
Pure me. omg. Im not alone.
Ikr. Or say I have set aside a day to myself and someone calls needing me to do something. And I know they’re going want me to do something and I answer anyway, agree, then sit silently 😡then procrastinate.
As a fellow INFJ, block scheduling has helped me to move on to the next thing/task even if the first thing isn’t done perfectly to completion. Using the timer is great because it prevents a lot of hyper-perfectionistic agonizing. Makes for a lot more productivity in the long run. Hope this helps someone out there! :)
Ill try this. Thanks for giving me the words that I do, hyper-perfectionistic agonizing. That what stops me initiating tasks because of that but once I start then it flows.
Definitely trying this. I just need to stay consistent if it works
Another significant cause of overwhelm is emotional sensitivity. INFJs absorb emotions like a sponge, and although this is a positive thing when dealing with positive emotions, it can be a big cause of stress and a negative thing when in the wrong environments or surrounded by the wrong people who don't understand you or your needs. INFJs are hyper attuned to people and their environments, which can be a double edged sword sometimes.
My estp friend told me there's always some annoying shit to deal with on a daily basis in his life but he finds it better than having a quiet calm routine life. I was at a loss for words
Sounds about right, my bf is ESTP
@@pizzadohpaz he's a mess sometimes but I love him so much
Me (INFJ) and my daughter (INTJ) absolutely THRIVE on routine
...and carefully planned excitement.
@@sunnysal3889 routine is me and my mom's(istj) comfort zone lol, we can't get bored but she does some changes every now and then, my dad tho(intj) would never make any changes to his routine
i cant even comprehend that mindset. at all
"There's a lamp. I love lamp." - Frank James, 2019
sounds ENFP-ish to me :D
frank is a moth, confirmed.......
"I love lamp" is an Anchorman (the movie) reference. 😂
"do you really love the lamp or you just saying it because you saw it?" :D
@@levi-mark I've always loved lamp.
What stresses me as an INFJ:
People not caring about the small details
People not wanting to try new things/accepting challenges
People talking too loudly
People bullying me
People criticizing me even though I know I did something wrong and apologized
ESTPs
I feel like this is the reason why I feel so anxious while learning to drive. You have to think about 10 things simultaneously and I've always prefered to think about and do one thing at a time.
Ah, yeah, I feel like once you get it down though, you don't really have to think about it anymore. The car just feels like an extension of yourself. I love going on a long drive - just listening to music, it's relaxing and one of the things I would do when I felt like I just needed to 'get out'. Good luck with the lessons!
@@narwhalzipan3785 Thank you! I'm happy to say that I passed the test on the first try just a couple days ago ^w^. Though I'm still feeling a bit insecure, especially while I get used to our car (since one drives a different one while doing the lessons). Also, I think it will take me a while until I'm able to listen to music and not completely wander off while driving ಥ‿ಥ, but I'm sure it'll come eventually...
@@markoselendic3690 Congratulations! It takes me a while to get used to different cars too. You'll get there!
@@narwhalzipan3785 Yeah I’m a new driver and listening to music really helps me relax and focus more (I feel connected to the car if that makes any sense). My mom didn’t trust me at first to drive with music but she soon saw that I drive way better with music haha
Or anxious while driving at all!
Cashier:*talks*
INFJ:👁💧
I dun Came thru I’m a infj cashier 😮
Me as a cashier ahh people.
Me as a customer with the cashier. I learn their life’s story.
Ashley M I only lasted 2 weekends doing retail. When I was at the register people didn’t really talk to me.
I'm an INFJ and this couldn't be more true , I stress a lot about everything coming at me even if its months away
For me it's years, or decades too
Spot on! Also: When someone makes spontaneous plans I'm obligated to participate in, and then I have to spend the whole day focusing on mentally preparing for that one event. Nightmare.
If you think about it all day to get ready then it wasn’t last minute. You knew about it all day. As an ESTP that is plenty of advanced notice.
Frank: INFJ's cant handle multiple important things happening at the same time
Me an INFJ: *goes to school full time for a Bachelors of Science Degree in cell and molecular biology, working full time and working on a pilots license* this is my nightmare
That is really good of you though. You are much more accomplished than me. You should be proud of yourself for even trying. Can't succeed at anything we don't even try.
But if you're struggling to juggle everything and focus and stay in the present and not get anxious (I'm easily overwhelmed and anxious), some tips I've found helpful are, and maybe you already use something or something like this:
1) do have a big, solid planning session to write out all the projects going on right now, big and small. I do a bigger planning session at the start of any project, then a smaller one twice a week after that to tweak and adjust and a daily one in the evening or at the end of every day's work to make the next days to do list. It really helps me start the next day with forward momentum right away if I know what my marching orders are ahead of time - if I have a list I can just look at and know immediately what to do right away instead of having to figure it out.
2) break down each one into it's smallest steps or workable chunks.
3) take each thing and do one step at a time.
4) every evening before you get too tired, make a to do list for the next day AND in a journal, do a review of the day you had and what you want to do better and how the next day and with your future next steps.
5) once I've got a handle on the steps that make up my projects, I just follow and adjust as needed and remind myself not to worry about the results, just focus on each step one at a time, know that if you do then things will work out just fine, don't worry and then trust and enjoy the process.
What helps me to put myself in the present moment yet pull myself forward, keep myself in forward motion is to take the next three smallest steps I need to do and say them / repeat them over and over in my head, even out loud if it helps and I'm alone.
There's a brain science / memory thing behind using the number three - three things at a time AND, saying/thinking the steps forces / gives the brain direct instructions and the brain can only think of one thing at a time so it short circuits / disables distraction and forces focus and action.
Like if I'm tired, confused, distracted, worried, anxious, etc., I look at my to do list of steps to do today and I take the next three smallest steps and I actually think or say and repeat those. Even things as simple as "dinner, dishes, walk". I'll even go smaller than that if needed.
When I've been really tired I've even gotten myself to bed by repeating steps as small as "brush, floss, eyes" (contact lenses). It might sound silly, but it's a technique I've found really helpful, so maybe there's something there that can help you too.
@@tinaperez7393 well I finished my degree. Now I’m looking for a new job
@@L3G4CYxSTL : Great job finishing your degree! Good luck with the job search. ☺️
@@tinaperez7393Thank you very much for laying this all out. I have the beginnings of this, but I am at a time when I have multiple objectives at home and at work every single day and this strategy and these concrete steps will help me work from my planning strengths instead of being slayed by my weaknesses for being in the real world.
Let's be friends and sit around and overthink everything.
Ok
Can I join?
I’ll bring snacks.
Yes, let's! Okay, I'll start. When exactly do acquaintances cross that line into friendship? And what must happen for friends to fade back into acquaintances over time?
@@sydneypetersen5425 I've been wondering that myself for a while, but I never actively thought about it until now.
I think the difference for me is that while acquaintances are people I know, friends are people I actually enjoy being around and want to spend time with.
What must happen for friends to fade back into acquaintances depends on the specific relationship. Some may just grow apart, others may have a fight and never be the same afterwards, etc.
Personally I feel like it's more likely to go from friends to strangers rather than from friends to acquaintances, but that might just be me and my weird ''all or nothing'' brain.
What do you think?
Us introverts need some kind of alarm system that tells our extrovert family and friends that we've reached our meltdown point and it's time to vacate.. I think I would call it..The Christmas and new year machine..
My family is all introvert and I can't understand why they don't understand my obligation/social limit lol
The song "Closing Time" by Semisonic should start playing at 9pm as their cue to vacate the premises. 🤣
I have no extroverts in my family. There's only ambroverts and introverts
"IT REALLY STRESSES ME OUT WHEN I HAVE TO DO TWO THINGS IN A DAY THAT ARE NOT RELATED WHATSOEVER" I have never related to anything more than this. I get so overwhelmed by this I literally have to talk to myself through the process just so I don't freak out.
I hate when my family tells me things last minute and say it’s my fault that I’m in my room all day. It’s upsetting because I feel like it’s my responsibility to coordinate everything that goes on in my life. It makes me really upset when I have to get ready to go somewhere because I have to mentally prepare and predict what will happen so that I will be ready.
"Even having two unrelated events in one day can stress an INFJ out" you bet they can! My kids just don't get how structured this going out business needs to be! One side of town dance class, other side of town two hours later a market, or shopping.....It's quite hellish, not to mention exhausting. Visitors tonight? Basically cocoon all day just to have the energy to interact with these friends. It's crap!
I feel your pain :(
I will only let people dump so much information or work on me at once ,i seem to process information at my own speed but thencan conquer several tasks at once. I don't know if it's infj or a.d.d.
Omfg!!!! I've had people just out of the blue try to pre'plan park outings..An I'm like you have no idea. Like I have to pre'pack everything an anything that can possibly go wrong. Extra snacks, all prepacked an ready. An it's like 2 weeks away, an I can't stop stressing over wether I did everything. Go unlock the vehicle on that day, go back inside grab last minutes. An now I've set.my keys down somewhere an I have no idea where.
Yesssss I love the having-just-one-thing way of living (when possible). We INFJs like to have something to do-to feel productive and creative and helpful-but please let it be just that one thing😂
💯
Homework: *is due tommorow*
Me: Ok
Project: *also due tommorow*
Me: *aAAAAAAAAAAA*
last semester i had 2 papers, a final, and a reflection due on the same day at the same time. i wanted to scream
And end up neither do both (broken english me)
OMG!!!! I’m 52 years old and I’ve just discovered I’m an INFJ. These videos are so spot on!!!!! Over the course of my years I have naturally developed strategies and methods of doing things that help alleviate my anxiety in certain situations. I have to ACTIVELY force myself to be in the moment!!!! It’s a constant battle. Thank goodness I found a great profession right out of the chute. Dental Hygienist,90% of the time you basically do the same procedure all day. You have one on one time with your patient for an hour, and you basically work solo very little group work!!!!!
My therapist: "you need to be in the present moment"
Me: oh no no no no
When you're an INFJ and you have a capstone project to finish by the 20th, two papers to write due next Monday, study for a final that is next Wednesday, a ton of laundry to do, have to pack for a one week trip you’re leaving for next Thursday and you're feeling overwhelmed with how you're going to plan everything out and instead you watch this CZcams video about what overwhelms INFJs.
Update: I successfully completed everything I needed to do for the semester, spent a wonderful Christmas with my family, and celebrated my graduation on May 28th.
Yes!!
Floral Moral 😂😂
Write down a plan lol that’s the only way I would survive
Yeah but you make a plan in your head how to do it. When you begin you realize your plan is bullshit.
This is what I’m doing currently.
As an INFJ, this makes a lot of sense. I'm rarely present in the moment but I wish I could be.
Me too, girl. Everything is in my head or in the future, but never actually what's going on at that moment. Literally as I'm typing this I caught myself thinking about something totally unrelated while also wondering if anyone will respond to this...🤦
@@lillydasher1431 I'm right there, too. But not here. Sigh.
@@lillydasher1431 same
Hi fellow red head infj 😊
Came for the info, stayed for the redheads !😊
" and I heard there's Lamps🔦"
My way of de-stressing is playing Minecraft and watching my favorite youtubers and just being with myself because people=stress.
People always ask me why I spend so much time in my garden I'm thinking to myself well there's no people in my garden
I caught myself projecting how to be present for the future lmao
same lmao
SAME LMFAO it’s almost impossible for me
Yeah me too
LOL
Me too LOL
Just had the realization “wait, I’m an INFJ, I already know all of this. Why the hell am I watching this.” For Frank, that’s why I’m watching this.
🍗🍗
@@MrJo-uy5ri save the chickens! 🐣
@@rebekaalittlesheep9289 🍇🍇🍇🍇
🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇
Exactly , he's so nice to watch. 🙂
Omg this is so me.. my husband is a estp and this is always a struggle. He’s like “just do the things” and I’m like “I can’t I’m dieing”
I’ve always called myself a “low capacity person” and this really explains where that is coming from
I also hate it when there's so many people needing your help.
But I still help them anyways
Doggo The Hut I don't think I've heard anything more real than this. Even in my head I'm like "no no, they don't NEED help" but what do I do??? I goddamn help them. Yeesh.
I hate that! But it’s seems like we have to just because it eats us up if we don’t help 🤦🏻♂️
How come that happens? I feel the same way. I'm 34 years old. I get this urge I got to help. Also everything in this video is me. I get anxiety.
Oh so I'm not the only one lol. It started to stress me out at work because I want everything to flow smoothly so I stretch myself thin. Now this year I'm trying to let go and stop trying to be a superhero. I can't do it all and though it kills me not to give my all like helping my coworkers and family I am starting to find a balance by just easing up. I don't want to burn myself out.
Friend: Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.
Me: Oh, no no no! You don't understand! I search out the bridges; cross them with binoculars, field guides,
notebooks; return home and type up lengthy reports.
Friend: And how does that work out for you?
Me:
On the other hand, we know the best ones and ways go cross given various scenarios and destinations.
We know which ones are sound and which are likely to crumble beneath one's feet.
We can give the best advice and wave to our smiling friends on the other side.
But do we pick a bridge, and pick up our feet and go?
🤭😂😂😂😂😂
I feel so attacked
When I travel I research all transportation routes and the city in general. I don't want a new experience. I need to imagine that I've lived there to avoid the stress of navigating like a visitor. Google maps is my friend as I literally use the avatar to familiarize myself with the surroundings before I travel the route.
"one thing for the rest of my life" yeah, that reminded me of university when my classmates laught about me because i had a calendar on my notes so when the teachers asked our opinion about dates for projects and they always choose friday i took my calendar and say "no, we already have this or/and this project on that day, i cant even write that task on that place because of the lack of space,choose another one, like tuesday because that square is empty" they find me weird, but it was a time of my life when i could handle deadlines perfectly, because of that single thing.
🙄 omg… I use my phone but I have everything scheduled.. if it’s not then I’ve planned to do nothing… and when other people change plans on me and I have to rearrange my calendar it’s quite frustrating.. these are things I mentally prepared for!!! Now I have to mentally prepare.. again… and have a gap in my planning.. that will ultimately end in procrastination because of the last minute change.
Actually a very good advice my mom gave me when i was in high school and used to panic, stress and cry about lots of exams is exactly what you said in the video - focus only on the one exam which is coming up. Don't think about 12 exams but just the close one you have to study for. And do it one by one. I bless my mom for telling me that, it has been with me for all my life, before i even knew about being INFJ (which was only last week and i am now 44...).
INFJs are rare and regularly get stressed and torture themselves with hugh amount of stress. And they say we are the rarest type. We need to be saved!!!!
Soooo stressed. I'm getting bald day by day. Whenever I get stressed, hairs just fall off .
You are enneagram 4.
Daily panic attacks. It's hectic😂
He just saved me years of therapy.
Lol yes 😂
"Why can't I just do one thing for the rest of my life!" - Yes!
(Online dating stress) "I just met her can I her trust her?" "what if she's talking to other guys" "can I just ask her to be my girlfriend now so I don't have to worry about competing with other people?" "I probably can't trust her." "I should wait until I achieve my goals in life first" "maybe I can trust her" "IDK"
I ALWAYS put relationships off because I haven't achieved my goals yet... and I can't trust anyone hahaha I feel this!
eDating is meant for hookups. Not relationships. Don't worry so much. She's been f'n other guys.
tf so me
Same but for guys… I’m over here thinking about my future husband meanwhile not wanting to go for a serious relationship (or anything) for at least like 2-3 more years because I haven’t accomplished my life goals yet.
Unable to do anything during the day if I have something on in the evening 😫 I thought that was just me 😭
"I just want my life to be one thing at a time..." I relate to this so much. I wish for this daily I always find myself saying "can't I do just one thing, pleaseeee!" lol
One thing at a time is a mantra I use when I'm overwhelmed. Because my natural inclination is to freak out, but that's not helpful. So I say it aloud ..."one thing at a time"... Until I get through each thing. Prioritizing can be tough though if several things have nearly equal importance.
I like managing multiple tasks, but I get stressed when multiple things demand my immediate attention. It’s that feeling of losing control. That’s when I lose it. 😬🤯
I have a friend that must be an ESTP, and she is so organized and handles everything so quickly... as an INFJ I don’t know how she does it. Everything makes me feel overwhelmed and I retreat.
Sometimes the ‘event’ that ruins my focus is literally just a delivery arriving later in the day. Focusing on anything else before that becomes impossible because I feel like I need to be prepared to answer the door 🤷♀️ 😂 does anyone else get this?
Kirsten i started not caring and opening the door in pyjamas
Haha yeah
Yes, even though I always just have them leave it on the front porch so I won't have to interact with them at all, the effect is the same!
spot on, so shop a big list for year or something hhhh
Hell yes. When I have to be home because someone is going to drop by... and they don’t turn up for hours I seriously can’t go and do something else because I’m still mentally preparing to be ready for/when they visit
Someone should do an MBTI version of Inside Out, with teams of cognitive functions sitting in our heads. Less external validity to this, but would be fun.
Does sound amusing to watch, could be another comparison of the personality types video. ^^~
Yessss
This is crazy. My wife asked me to get Inside Out today before I saw your comment!
Love this idea! 😆
Yes! Wonderful idea! Folks, let's do this!❤
Unfortunately, our functions look to a Psychologist like ADHD (inattentive) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). It would be interesting to study how many INFJ’s are on psychiatric medications, just because we stand out and are so different from the rest...so much so that others think there’s something wrong with us. It’s taken me a long time to realize there was nothing ever wrong with me. My parents thought there was and put me on medication at a young age...even though I was doing well in school. Still working to get off of them, many years later. I enjoy your videos, good job!
I think INFPs are prone to be diagnosed with ADHD too.
I am an INFJ and have been diagnosed with both disorders at separate times of my life (56 yr) and his advice is what I found worked. I found Buddhism around my 30s and my Buddhist practice was focused very much on the present moment and I have become very resilient for my type in my belief. I have always felt that society tried to shove me in a box that doesn't fit, so I created one that did. My closest allies are an ENTJ and an ENFP.
I can relate 🙄
Soy INFJ y me diagnosticaron con TAG, pero me reuse a tomar medicamentos. Investigue mucho y que otras cosas podría hacer para ayudarme con la ansiedad. Fue que llegué al minfullnes y justo te ayuda a que te enfoques en el presente. Me ha ayudado bastante. En retrospectiva, desde la primaria las maestras le decían a mi mamá que era muy ansiosa y me daban tes para calmarme. 😐
Infjs are too focused to take any data...so what happened was..any data will be gone by 60 days...n infj s are so emotional (infj want to learn word by word(many estp dont have this problem)...entp want to learn everything superficially(n entps actually having extroverted intuitive feeling dominants (so having a half of the infjs emotional problem eventually (isfjs dont (siti) convergence)
"let me plan this, let me try to solve this in an abstract way" YESSSSSSS. That's why I fail every time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The moment I step my foot out the door....
I'm overwhelmed.
Chantel Wensley As an INFJ and a Taurus.. me too! I hate leaving my cozy home environment, but once I’m out, I’m generally okay with it.. it’s the time leading up to (me: dammit, why did I agree to do this?) or preparing to go out that I have to keep telling myself.. (just freaking do it.. everything’s gonna be fine! )😂
Chantel Wensley I was injured at work in October 2019 and a couple of days later I was sick with pneumonia, which I wonder now if it wasn’t covid.. I was sick for a month and obviously lost my job due to that.. so I’ve been home since before the covid shut down, and then was unable to go back to work because my work was in an elementary school, which were of course, shut down due to covid soon thereafter.
The moment I step out of my dream in the morning, I'm overwhelmed.
I get so much stress when:
-I have to do too many different things in a day
-I have to deal with too many people all at once
-I have to do something that has to be done immediately and in the best way possible
-People throw at me all their dramas (it happens everyday, thanks people)
- I have not achieved nothing concrete in a long time
- I am with someone loud and embarrassing and I feel awkward around them
This thing you said about continuously planning hit me so hard I almost cried but I'm still trying to figure out if I'm an INFJ or something else
Laura Calabrese your list is spot on!
I'm also not really sure if I'm an INFJ but I think so🤔 Your list is accurate for me
As an INFP who worked at a drive thru starbucks, I got real good at dealing with a million things at once and the chaos of new problems constantly emerging, though sometimes it absolutely felt like I was trapped in a caffeinated hellscape.
His lamp example is so me
Me: I need to replace my dresser. Goes online shopping looking for just the measurements. Thinks about the number of days it will take for shipping, how the day of delivery should be free of errands. Looks at calendar for any appointments and pre-scheduled things and worries about something random happening that will take time away from me having to assemble the thing. Then thinks what if I can’t assemble it within the timeframe allotted for it. What if something’s wrong with the dresser and I have to return it? When will I get to have a good functioning dresser? Ugh all this mundane petty things one after another is pretty stressful.
And also when the delivery is delayed and it doesn’t get delivered on time. I feel the stress of this post so much!
Hahaha ha. Story of my life. The constant thought process.. It's exhausting
“When you try your best but you don’t succeeeeeeed”
I’m so glad you finished that 2-line rhyme. I was singing it in my head.💯🙂
Me too..really dramatic and all
Hey, noticed your username. I had a horrible bout of Lyme back in 2014-15. I feel your pain. ❤
Miriam Schmitz Yep, I did the exact same! Good stuff right there.
Shannon Baillie Thank you so much for taking time to reach out! I’ve been battling this for quite a long time, but we only recently uncovered additional factors which have kept me from healing and responding to various Lyme treatments. I hope you’re not still dealing with any effects of it-and I’m sorry you had to endure that-again, thanks for just taking time to say hi. Appreciate it very much.
Shot out to Coldplay
Do you ever feel like an INFJs life is often like a soap opera? Just a series of catastrophic events!?... Or just me 😂
EVERYDAY
I'm an ENFP and I feel the same way. I tell people what happens in my life and they tell me it's not normal 🙄
@@maria_w_n_l I pray for a break!!! It's just like The Truman Show!
@@TheSushiQueen100 I understand, surely my comic book life cannot be normal either 😂 I wondered if it correlated to personality type as non of my family members appear to have the same troubles.
I can't even rest AT NIGHT easy like wOt
It is insane that it's taken me 22 years to stumble upon this and finally feel understood.
"I just want to do one thing for the rest of life" YES.
Understood this about myself recently, interesting to learn it's an IN thing! I got mega stressed with work tasks coming at me all at once, and feel like I need half an hour to prioritise and check timelines with everyone first. When really, just do one and ignore the others til it's done. Think 'what would an ES do?' Lol
Also thanks for the ad warnings, so polite !
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse.... 😭
AprilFall73 Facts 😞
Totally that oh hold on its 2.30 am in the morning but I'm so wide awake and must see the last bit of this oh wait my list needs finishing.
Lights will guiiiiiiiide you home 💖💖
it’s like when I have one thing to do, my mind perceives it as 10 more
like there’s only one tree in front of me but my mind sees it as a whole forest
amatheia • That’s exactly what it’s like!
Anyone else wait a really long time to open messages because of the overwhelm that comes with seeing what they wrote, the complexity of how to respond, and the time it will take to do so properly?
That's me! 😅
This guy is amazing, I started to get deep into meditation 3 months ago (my uncle recommended it and he's an INFJ too), and he told me a of couple days ago when he found he in fact was INFJ like me, it could be the reason why we are so into these spiritual things: we naturally seek them to calm our INFJ minds. Ghandi himself was an INFJ too. This makes a lot of sense now. Wow.
Omg “Why can’t I just do one thing for the rest of my life” hit home!
I try to explain it to people and they are like really?
"if there are two things that I have to do in a day that are not related to each other, it stresses me out" man I have to study today but I also have to go to work later I WAS SO STRESSED THIS MORNING
Oh my gosh!! Yes!! I thought I was the only one. 😭
I love these videos where it feels like an Old Wise INFJ looking out for the younglings it is SO reassuring
Having 3 things on my to do list stresses me so much because I don't do them firstly, and next time I see the list, more stress
Stress for me. People wanting instantaneous answers to complex questions. I usually hurt their feelings if not giving enough time to think.
It’s the look on their faces after. First I’m like what? Don’t ask if you don’t want the truth, then I punish myself for hurting their feelings
@@maxeen1974 this is happening to me right now 😂
@@mbp194 😫
“Thinking” about scenarios in advance is a double edged sword. I’m
Stressed thinking about issues that may come up but it makes me feel secure to know how I’ll handle them if they become a problem.
Right ✌
Same!!!!!!
Sounds to me like you’re an INFJ and 6 Enneagram - we burn our VERY quickly because our minds are constantly working on planning/problem solving 🤦🏾♀️
NAILED IT, best to have a plan (and not need it - then to need it and not have it) - for every scenario~
This is so accurate. I learned the "just focus on one thing at time" method from my coworker. I would get overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to do, & she'd comfort me by saying "just focus on one thing at a time, it will all get done." And when I do that, I feel much less stressed.
It's actually enjoyable to listen to another INFJ explain things, or just conversate. It's very relatable to other INFJs and really rare to hear advice or explanations from our peers in the INFJ group. It makes me happy to hear someone whom is similar to my outlook on stuff, very rare to experience.
My toilet is overflowing and my mom is calling me while I'm watching this, I swear.
Haha
I’m an INFJ and my mom is an ESFP and sometimes it genuinely baffles her when mundane tasks stress me out
Same here! My mum is also an esfp. Totally agree
I used to have the same problem! My Mum would give me multiple tasks, literally yelling at me to do another thing while I was doing the first task she gave me, and I’ll stress out and lose my shit, which is quite odd for family to see since I’m usually so laid back and quite happy to help out
@@racheltreviranus9278 I relate so much
Rachel Treviranus This is the exact experience I’ve had countless times with my ESTJ dad
I had to laugh so hard on the lamp. A few weeks ago I totally lost it because my watertab was dripping. 2 minute loop of Introverted Intuition + Anxiety: Watertab is dripping -> Seems to be broken somehow -> It definitely might fully break, potentially when I am not at tome -> everything is going to be flooded -> Costs will be insane -> Insurance is not covering bc I missed to repair it -> I won't be able to pay the cost and neither the rent -> will lose my apartment -> will need to give up my job bc there are no apartments in berlin -> will never find a new apartment again -> watertab is gonna make me lose EVERYTHING
That present moment stuff he talked about with spiritual teachers makes so much sense... I did a yoga class in college and whenever I actually focused in on the present and stopped thinking, I felt like crying. That was how I knew how stressed I was.
That moment when you said, “let’s stop and see if CZcams would like to show a commercial” really soothes my mind cogs. Thank you for doing that, it’s been a wild week.
Bahahahaha...pretty sure he does it as any INTJ would. You know, thinking of others in the future. It's what I'd do.
Same. I hate when a commercial just randomly pops up because I never know when it will do so and the fact that he warns me about it right before it happens just..makes me much less angry when it happens.
“Indulging in the physical pleasures when stressed out as a way to cope…” TOTALLY me. It’s like my being is desperate to get out of my head and get grounded into the moment in any way possible. I grew up with many addictions and indulgences that I couldn’t rationally explain to anyone…now I get it. 👌
I've literally never felt so seen in my life
"B-word, please..." 😂👍
Wait...so the reason why I start feeling anxiety when a second customer walks in while I'm helping the first ISN'T because I'm mentally unstable? It's just my personality? 😂 Sweet!
People overwhelm me, when I'm overstimulated, crowds. I'm HSP
"if I have to do one thing in the evening, it ruins my day." Someone understands 👏
I need a shirt that says b-word, please.
Your videos really save me from having meltdowns. I'm literally almost in tears. I've always wondered what's wrong with me, shy do I get overwhelmed so dang easily. Keep the videos coming Frank, they're a huge help. Glad to know I'm not alone. 💕💕
Yes, I was literally crying yesterday because of my job. I get so overwhelmed when I have a lot to do. I work in healthcare with people, and I want to take time and research the best treatments for patients, but when I'm given so many patients, I can't handle it. Jobs literally feel like prison to me. When I'm given so much, it puts me in this "eff it" mode where I can't even bother to try. I noticed a considerable improvement in my work performance, motivation, & quality of life, mental health, when I stopped full time and went to a more part time route.
I am a doctor and Med school was a breeze for me. But, I couldn't cope with seeing patients because of the chaos that was happening. I was terribly unhappy and I quit, and am now working as a scientist. I'm so much happier now, even though I'm getting paid far less.
@@kcmn0089 That's amazing!! Glad for you!
@@monisune Thank you! I hope you can work things out as well!!
I absolutely have to work part time for the same reasons. And working in healthcare during pandemic time must just be crushing!
@@FreyaGem Yesss, I don't know how people can work full time their whole lives. I would literally rather die. I don't work in the fast pace part of healthcare, so that's how I have managed to survive. I'm amazed at people's capacity to handle such stressful situations.
Being a mother of five as an infj really tests the limits of this all the time. You can't -not- be present when you have little ones constantly trying to get into mischief!
I'm an INFJ single mom of 2 and I feel so ill-equipped most days!!
I am also a mom of many (7) and I am so thankful children come 1 by 1 instead of 2 by 2😂. I am very good at planning their futures for them, but it is daily hard work to focus on the everyday little things...like eating and drinking water because someone always needs me more😉😂. Motherhood has been a true calling for me and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. It really is the most beautiful part of life.
mou mou indeed. I became a single mom of three and literally downsized my whole lifestyle so that I could be at home with them until they were all in secondary school. Returning to work and juggling their schedules was such a stressful adjustment that I literally got catastrophically ill the next year. It was tough, but we made it, and they turned out great!
Even though it is difficult to not think ahead and get stressed, I still think that it helps to make a to-do list. Even if it means that I only choose one thing from the list to do that day, I will try to tell myself to not think about the other things on the list, and just get that one thing done. And then allow myself to be proud of myself afterwards for at least having accomplished something that day😁
INFJ watching a video to understand why my housekeeping is stressing me out while a big pile of dishes and dirty laundry have been watching me ignore them for 2 hours.
Hey, I just got an idea for a tv show : The Real World: INFJ. Housemates are filmed trying to develop their Se without going crazy!!
On the next episode, Sarah door slams Jenny! Stay tuned lolol
😂😂😂
Is anyone else also a Pisces? I feel like being a Pisces, an INFJ and an empath is so emotionally draining sometimes that I don’t know how to handle it all.
I'm starting to use the Empath's Survival Guide as I am all three as well. I find so far meditation and grounding as well as doing the exercise for cleansing fire work out well. And I noticed a difference carrying around my black tourmaline as opposed to not that crystal rejects other's negative energies away from you so I stop absorbing so much of them.
I'm pisces. yeah. life ruined
Bless y’all! I dated an INFP Pisces … I’m certainly also an empath but I’m a Taurus.. we are either super grounded or super apathetic. Or super aggressive. Or super emotional… oh. Maybe that’s just me..
Me too
Same
Oh my gosh, yes. I think it’s so weird and exhausting when people have MULTIPLE huge things to do in a day. Going to the salon, running outside errands, meeting up with friends, having dinner dates, THEN going to a party with an unknown end time????
If I have one party to go to at 4:00, I am preparing for that 4:00 party from the time I wake up.
7:33 "there is nothing happening right now. And if there is something happening I'll focus on that" Truly what I need to remind myself all the time.