INFJ: 3 Self-Motivation Secrets
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 9. 06. 2024
- How the INFJ personality can get motivated, and why they lose motivation.
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âïžWhat do you do to get yourself motivated? đ
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Stay attractive frankie
Thank youuuuđ†I'm infj A
Frank, por favor, ative as legendas! Eu nĂŁo entendo muito bem o inglĂȘs falado, mas quero muito entender o que vocĂȘ estĂĄ falando đđ
I get motivated when I feel I have a really interesting idea that I can spend a bunch of time thinking about, though I rarely finish anything, mostly for the reasons in this video.
Akcolol
i feel like infj has the hardest time with motivation because of our over analyzing and perfectionist traits and feeling we have to know everything 100% before starting anything
Bruh đ©
Exactly! I always need to know everything about a process - otherwise I think it's reckless to just believe in the process... So annoying
Definately! Then you start to doubt yourself along the road until, getting ready for it to be implemented never comes around. (Anyone else re read their comment making sure it's tip top for your liking before submitting?)
Yes! just like that...
Wow! This!!! Iâve been putting off studying for a fitness certification course I signed up for because I have a goal of getting a perfect score....so I have to study a lot.....and the stress of not being able to study perfectly kept me from studying much the whole time. Finally started for real this time!
"...get something _DONE_ in the _REAL_ world."
The most annoying part of the process.
Maybe this means that the perfect job for an INFJ is "theoretical mathematician"... You know if there weren't all that teaching and stuff. Just all theory all day long
@@lizl1407 I feel a job like that would be _too_ theoretical for me: I definitely need the feedback that my work is being useful and used. Currently I work as a programmer - and that seems to hit the right spot between connecting to the real world via the software that people use and my love for staring at a blank piece of paper for an hour. I'd just need somebody that comes up with the right names for things and documents the stuff that I put into code, because just writing "Why this works? I DONT KNOW! It's intuition!" doesn't really cut.
Yes!!!
I mean I know we all have bills to pay and have a need to appear as responsible adults? but from a spiritual perspective, there's really NOTHING you HAVE to do...that rat race mentality we all have screaming at us on our shoulder? was put in place by ESTJs probably and doesn't work well for us. Coronavirus is wreaking havoc, just sit back and enjoy philosophizing, IMO. Think away INFJ, the world is your oyster right now. Stop trying to accomplish so much.
I thought that was an infp thing. I've read that infps dream and think up a lot of things but have trouble practically bringing them out to the real world. And that infjs are better at getting things done in real life.
INFJ: *feels unomotivated*
also INFJ: *watches video on how to get motivated instead of actually doing something*
not only INFJ...
I didn't come here to be called out like that. XD
Also infj: opens the video but goes to the comments instead of watching the video
@@jiyaissleeping lol you got me
Omg so true
INFJ secret weapon: Be an advocate for yourself in the third-person.
I recently started doing that xD
YES
This made me laugh so hard
I knowww
I got ragged on so much for speaking to myself in third person that I stopped. I didn't even know why I did it. I just did. I don't even remember when I stopped. I will definitely have to start up again.
By infj logic, perhaps the perfect job for us is âbrainstormerâ .. we have the good ideas, we just need others to put them to fruition đ
But brainstorming alone. Not with an extrovert. đ
Agreeđđđ
So true đ
My ex was a joiner/carpenter. I used to have brilliant ideas for projects for him. If his projects failed. That was on him not me. I'd just plan different ideas for him. I mentioned he was my ex right?? I can't think why he left međ
Hahaha. This one gets under the armour
Recap: Limit planing, stay motivated by progress (no matter how small), take responsibility for the outcome (of doing it or not doing it), trust yourself, and give yourself permission to do what you want to do (unapologetically)! âïžNow go out there and make a difference!
one thing I'm actually practicing lately is giving myself permission to do what I want instead of cramming my whole schedule into a meticulously planned routine, which, can be jarring most of the time
@@momokashira Yeah, you're right. I think it's a balance of both. You need to know when to work and get things done and when to relax. Otherwise you'll burn yourself out
Oh thanks. Btw m I the only one who makes notes whenever Frank post such video??? Anyone? Huh?
@@kittyshah8547 You're not alone. I just made some notes to put into my planner to keep me motivated :)
@@DasRaetsel đ
1. too much introverted intuition
- always planning, limit it
2. avoidance of extraverted sensing (inferior function)
- we always try to avoid it, so we don't like doing things in the physical world, so we like to spend time in our heads and plan
- accept responsibility and do the things you have, look at them as necessities you have to do in order to accomplish your goal
3. you don't trust yourself (having extraverted feeling over introverted thinking)
- all IJ's and EJ's have this thing where they seem like they're bragging about what they're doing and their plans, but it's not an ego thing, it's just looking for validation as they want to hear affirmation of the ideas
This is literally me..and I'm am an INFJ-T
@@tanzistr same
â @@tanzistrSame
Thanks
"I don't need to write the book, they liked the idea of it" is the field many of my projects have died on
Exactly. My Music has not yet hit the world's ears. You nailed it.â€
I agree, this is exactly what's going on with me right now.đ But I try comforting myself by saying "It's okay, I'll release my work someday"
Wow. Same. Why is that??????
Same!
"Get burned out at the stage of planning"
Did you spy on my professional life lol
It feels weird when other people can see your qualities but you can't. So trusting myself could be a big step and that's when I feel stuck. Sometimes it's like I am my own enemy. đ
The only person that is truly stopping you is yourself.
I do the same thing :(
@@DasRaetsel But how do you get out of your own way?
I really agree with this. Then I feel so bad. What's wrong with me? :(
Omg I can relate. Also, to do almost anything to improve my life, I have to get influence from other people doing it themselves - I wouldnt do it otherwise, it can be as simple as muscle clenching techniques to help get me to sleep - know it works but I find it's useless unless I see someone else do it first.
You hit the nail on the head, dang. Especially wanting to start from square one because of perfectionism, lol. Thanks for all the really specific advice!
1.) Limit planing- 0:57
2.) Stay motivated/Take responsibility- 5:29
3.) Trust yourself/ Give yourself the permission to do something for you- 11:37
Thank you for this
"YOU DON'T TRUST YOURSELF" Darn right. I don't trust myself so much that other people see it, and start to believe it themselves. By that point the damage is done and I end up proving myself right. We are a self-destructive type.
Sad, but true :-(
Self destructive is an understatement.
I can relate it well đą
Let's change that.
the way I felt this in my soul omggg
I assume this really is the time a lot of us esp INFJs are feeling truly unmotivated... This came at the perfect timing. Thank you FJ â€ïž
Deborah N no im just here like just in case i lose motivation i know thhs
@@EmiliaLevante lol
Deborah N ya. Unmotivated. Always was hard on myself for being lazy
I was literally creating depression by over-planning stuff that I genuinly love doing until I saw no point in doing it anymore because I had already lived it to such detail in my head. Cure: start doing stuff you have no idea how to do, and you can't plan ahead. Gives that introverted intuition a nice fresh playground.
Philosophy , history, and deep conversation really helps me so much in getting motivated as a infj.
The Qur'an elevates someone.
For the first time in life, infjs are feeling extra special when Franks said:
SORRY TO OTHER 15 personality types this an INFJ focused video
XD
đ
It's like we exist now.
@@YaneMarieSleppy are you serious there are SO many videos on INFJs and people often put focus on the infj type.
YES I FEEL LIKE I EXIST NOW
6:15 "Which, in plain English means, we like to avoid doing things in the physical, concrete world. We just - We would rather not." I'm laughing so hard I'm crying đI've never felt so seen đ
Right? Me too.
i really hope Frank finds a partner he loves soon because we canât let his genes waste like that
i hope he does whatever makes him happy c:
DarkMatterSquirrels h for Christâs sake, heâs just a guy. You are drooling all over him, and I have to say, as much as I like him, and I really do, he isnât done with life by any stretch, and whatever he speaks of is coming from the mouth of a 30 year old guy. Which is relatively young, in the grand scheme of life, and heâs a guy. He doesnât know as much as even he think he does; but it isnât his fault; it is his nature as an INFJ to draw conclusions. But they will change. He just doesnât know it yet. Itâs quite precious and incredibly frustrating at the same time. Too many female âfansâ busy wishing he was their boyfriend.
@@quintuplebanned4267 nah I didn't mean as 'my boyfriend' just meant that in general.
â:@@quintuplebanned4267 written like a true INFJ !
lmaoo
This is so accurate, no one really understood me like thisđ. When I study, or try to write my book, I always over plan so much that I donât want to do this anymore.
Read the "War of Art" and "Turning Pro" by Steven Pressfield. They will help you enormously. Fellow writer here. You got this!
One of the most duh moments Iâve had about motivation came from reading a memoir. The author was talking about a conversation she was having with her therapist about how other people find motivation. The therapist told her : theyâre no different than you. They donât have magical motivation powers. Motivation has nothing to do with wanting to do something. Itâs about doing it anyway. My mind đ€Ż
@Maria Filer so many times I've told myself "Just do it!"
The thing is when it comes to the art works and school projects 'Just doing' won't help much. Then we can only perform in average levels, not at our fullest. Smh
âIâm here to save the world, not to figure out which version of quick books to use!â đ Me every time Iâm confronted with a spreadsheet for the project Iâm on.
Imagine having parents that understand your INFJ self. I swear Iâm trying.
I laughed at the part with INFJ's asking everyone their opinion because when I have a difficult decision, I like to ask as many people as possible what they think lol... and oftentimes I already know in my "gut" what I want to do but I'm looking for that validation! It can be a very stressful and time-consuming process, but I think it's scary to act on an intuition when you haven't dug up the concrete reasons for it yet. As I've gotten older I think I've gotten better at trusting myself (after getting, like, four or five other opinions). Great video- thank you for this!
Tis a hard and taxing thing on the fragile infj frame, to not immediately set fire to imperfection... but alas *stops pouring gasoline all over myself*... at 5 am logic wins again, Iâll get to my to do list
Best comment I've ever seen. đđ»
I advise everyone to see it useful for your success bit.ly/Transformationall
Hamlet must have been infj or intj - he talks about âthinking too precisely on the event - a thought which hath but one part wisdom three parts coward.â
Hilary Heriz-Smith wow thatâs insightful! Iâve never read Hamlet before but that makes me curious đ
Yep; Hamletâs an INTJ.
"To be or not to be, that is the question..." very intj or infj....
@@bbnzn0024 I mean he does literally sit there and contemplate his revenge scheme for an hour. That's like what the whole super famous To Be Or Not To Be speech is about. Lol.
omg, this vid is from 2 years now but iâm impressed of how accurate it is. i think this example of âthe idea of it vs itâ got me, and understood why many times we just donât do the project bc itâs even more important for us INFJs to get validation from it (the idea of it) vs actually doing it. that explains why sometimes i just get sooo hyped by the pursuit of getting smth, and when i got it, i just get bored and want something else.
wow. thanks for this video â€.
Iâve been spending an exorbitant amount of time planning on how Iâm going to do things and getting very little actual work done, then wondering why Iâm so exhausted in spite of the fact that Iâve actually done very little. This video made me better realize the ways in which Iâve been halting my own progress. Thank you so much!
This hit home. I find as an INFJ I also need to attack the execution part of my planned projects in smaller increments otherwise I get too overwhelmed and I will walk away.
"like to avoid doing things in the concrete world" đđ
Do we have a forest around?
Nah, for real... To be able to do sth i get on a narrow road before the Sun rises and meditate on the cold ground with nothing but distant noises and nature surrounds me.
You expand your field of vision so much, you narrow your thinking... When in fact you are just allowing youself a bit more space.
My great ideas... Doomed to die in a reply comment:))))
This is super accurate. All projects exist in my head and are perfect, but the real nitty gritty is exhausting, and the guilt of wasting time on something selfish (even though it's CLEARLY my dream) is insurmountable. I've found what helps is writing for a short burst to get the frustrations out, setting up space and allowance for *some* planning at least, and allowing yourself to indulge in something that will fail for the sake of learning. So what? Sometimes you fail at stuff. It doesn't mean that defines you.
Binge watching videos about INFJ personality just to listen to someone who can relate to me. Been feeling like nobody understands me for what seems like ages. But then again, i guess ive been pushing everyone away.
These are basically the reasons why i still haven't wrote a book that i wanted and the reasons why i am not getting better at drawing. I just give up easily....
And yes, when i am suppose to do something FOR SOMEONE ELSE, then i can move mountains, but when i want to do something for myself - i do feel like it's selfish...
[...]
I have to admit i got nice motivation from this video, i just don't know how long it will last...
"Make it last forevaaa"- a song by Keith Sweat. Real advice, thođđŒ
I feel the same
Omg exactly same here. I can work and sacrifice 12 hr days like a machine for SOMEONE ELSE - but my own stuff.?! I spent 90% of my time being distracted- or have almost zero energy đ€Šââïž
Stop sacrificing yourself so much. People are not learning as much from it as you expect. You deserve your own attention too. I know it's hard. And you probably already know it. But really, it's self sabotage. You gotta try to stop romanticizing your self-destructive altruism.
I'm an artist too! And I haven't been producing anything because I spend most of my time worrying more about other people than about myself. And I can't even be upset that they don't do the same in return, because I know it sucks. We need balance.
Shouldn't we get paid for all this over planning? We can be the world's drawing board gurusđ
YES WE SHOULD. We'd be best prepared for when we take action.. whenever that would be đ€Ł
Oh damn đł I was trying to figure out if I was INFP or INFJ and this video just confirmed im definitely INFJ đđ„Ž this video hit my soul đ I lol'd a few times its too real đđ
Here is what I took from this vid hope it helps â„:
1-*Plan to plan less* :
Do things instead of planning for so long put a big general well thought plan in a reasonable amount of time and start, it's okay to go back to planning as long as you're in the action but sometimes don't go back to planning cause that's the plan, things will always come up and you need to understand that they are part of the plan even if they're not written in it it's just life accept it and go on with it, and not start a new plan all over again, because that's how it mostly goes so you can do more in life and stay motivated cause you're doing stuff. Conclusiion plan well, plan less, trust your plan and go on with it embracing the flow going through things like a ninja...a ninja hahaha uhum sorry :3. lte's go on...
2- *Face yourself and you fears* :
Try to use more of your extroverted sensing and try out stuff instead of just your introverted intuition be open to stuff so you can have more room to grow and become a well-balanced healthy motivated person. Shortly said get out of your comfort zone, it really helps ^^.(You can do this don't be scared it gets easier and comes naturally to oneself with time and practice.)
3- *Trust yourself* :
Don't seek too much validation to stay motivated people don't need to agree with you on everything you do, tell them after.
Your opinion matters when it's about you and you know it's what you actually need, it's okay to see other perspectives and hear people's opinions sometimes when you are really unsure but mostly don't do it until you know you really need it. Treat yourself like a person too, and it's usually the right thing to do, don't change and try to please people because it won't take you places, and you need to go places ok? alright!? and going places is not selfish and you need to understand that it is also helping people cause you're being a better you in a better place that can help people better, and also you deserve it because you're a person too remember? so you're being less selfish and trying your best and that's all that matters just be just live. Basically, keep things private if you want them to happen and trust that you know what's right for you, deep down you know you do so just go with the flow ^^ just do it.
Thank you for reading, have a nice day beautiful people you're doing great xoxo.
Frank: to keep motivated set a limit to the planning and start.
Me: Plan to plan! Got it!
But no, all good points. Spot on.
No one :
Absolutely no one:
Infj and intj:
*I HAVE PLANNED EVERY MINUTE OF 2030*
đ€Ł
You got me there (and the Quarantine happened out of nowhere drowing all my resolutions)
[INTJ here]
xD so what's happening on the 16th of March 2030 with you, I've planned to wake up at 10:32am
Facts
And ENTJs
I canât believe how accurately youâre describing the mental process I go through. Problem is we can get a long way through life and not achieve much because of the anxiety & perfectionism.
Point number 3 was so true it hurt. I didnât know I needed to hear that but it EXPLAINS SO MUCH. I feel so relieved to know whatâs going on now when I am âbraggingâ on the outside but feeling extremely disappointed with myself and like a hypocrite on the inside.
On the other hand, are any other infjs thriving in quarantine? Finally an excuse to be ALONE
Thriving from absolutely basking in the solitude while slowly going crazy from absorbing the anxiety of others from the quarantine......
man 2020 was the best year of my life never been that productive before. But now it's over nooooo
Lol thatâs the reason why I want to burn my bullet journal every month. I see all of those plans that I didnât execute and I hate seeing them over and over again
I recommend breaking your goals into smaller parts. And just try to do one or how ever many a day. You'll get there :)
Iâve always had a fear of responsibility. Even as a kid, I had it. My mum has always been a busy mom. And I could always see her stressed and troubled by workload or whatsoever. My mom told me that when I was 4-5 years old, I started crying. My mum asked me why and I said I didnât want to grow up because of all the work we have to do. Now I donât remember this but my mum sure does, very vividly.
As an INTJ, I too get lost in dominate introverted intuition, a real of ideas and concepts, extroverted sensing is my Achilles' Heel. Your point about taking responsibility for the mundane and it adding to the fire of a dream is so true.
Action invites further action, in order for something (a dream) to manifest, action has to be taken to make it real. Otherwise, it's going to remain in the mind.
Everyđsingle đword đis đaccurate đ afđ
i see "INFJ" and "Frank James", i click.
I always thought that there was something wrong with me, dealing with all these things. It's quite comforting to know that it's not just me, and that there are other people who think and act like me.
I am an INFJ who has been trying to put together a project for over 3 years. After watching this video I understand what my issue is... Issues. When Frank said I could give myself permission to do things that I wanted to do it's like a massive roadblock collapsed and I could finally see how to move forward. I cried! Thank you Frank James! All of your advice has been extremely helpful! I really needed to hear it!
I didn't tell my parents I was buying a house to avoid the problem of buying something they wanted then being resentful about it. I had guilt about it but it was worth it.
baizawai I think you made a good choice. Completely unconsciously, since a bit of time I stopped asking my (nice but quite judgemental) mother for advice on my plans. She would often mention stuff like "it doesn't sound like you" while yeah, I want to improve myself and not stay stagnant and try different things ! Like she thought I would fail, it was so demotivating. Now I just show her the results of my choices, and ask her advice on trivial things.
Good for you! I consciously avoid telling certain people things I'm excited about too if I know they're likely to be negative about it and put me off.
@@mariek.474 Your mom and my mom must be the same person I swear
@@mariek.474 I do the same thing
how did you buy a house in 2020? are you the 1%?
... do you have a microscope pointed at my soul? This is why I cannot finish one of my seven novels!! đ±
others: stop avoiding doing things in the real world.
me: I said i will do it....eventually
Any other INFJ types start typing a mini essay in the comments, and then just close the entire tab because you cant perfectly express your thoughts?
đ
Oh great,
I'm unmotiveted to do my college tasks and now I see perfect 23 minutes distraction
Yesss.... -.-
& is it just me, I know exactly how to do these tasks, I literally have steps on how to do it the best way possible but I just lack the motivation to carry it out..
@@Ahs0kaa exactly!
I have to spend MORE than 30 minutes planning to build my rocket ship to Mars?!? I donât want to do it anymore - ENFP.
By the way, great job! Good idea! đ
Often, if I canât get motivated, I make myself accountable to someone else. Fear of embarrassment gets me motivated to do it. đ
Oh my god this is literally part of my every day life. Itâs exhausting
3:32 âintentionally limit your planningâ
*me, laughs in INFJ* as i look at my very specific and narrowly designed to-do lists and google calendar *me, also cries in INFJ*
"You don't trust yourself!"
Ouch! But it's true. Thank you Frank for this great video! Thanks for calling us out but doing it in such a kind way haha. Much love to you! I love watching all your vids :))
Within first five minutes: I feel attacked.đđ€Łđ I literally started watching this just before I was going to plan out my entire week.
Miranda Harris đ same same
When I focus my goals on solely benefitting others, I lose steam. When I focus my goals on what drives my soul, I have endless supplies of energy and motivation. I then notice that when I work on myself and what speaks to me, Iâm more available for others and it translates at a deeper level (because Iâve internalized the goal). âRemember that habits, not ideas, are the programming language of human beings.â
This really helped me. I realized I misdefined myself as an INTJ who was really an INFJ with very strong Ti tendencies. It took a friend of mine to point this out but all the information I've found so far accurately aligns with my issues in terms of finding and sustaining information
Damn, this is so accurate! Just yesterday I was filming a video and after ~2 hours of editing it I got so annoyed that it didnât work out as I planned, that I just deleted everything đ Being INFJ sucks sometimes đ
ElÄ«na Tropa donât be so perfectionistic
Next time put it up anyway. You might be surprised. Weâre only making movies, nobody will die if itâs imperfect. đ
Ten Thousand Days of Gratitude Thatâs true đ I have to learn to be more empathetic towards myself đ
This feels like Shia LeBeoufâs âJust do itâ for INFJâs. Thanks for telling me exactly what I didnât want to hear but needed to hear đ
Only presented by an INFJ like yourself this can be so true and heartfelt and a true insight. I have been tested INFJ at many platforms and your videos like this one are helpful to me in a way I can see the story of my life narrated. I think f INFJs do all these things because we need to gather as much insights, emotions, inputs etc etc from the world around that while we are doing it and processing it, we re immersed in the process that we hesitate to deliver outcomes because we know there is so much so mcuh more coming from the Universe towards why deliver now..Let us wait another minute, hour, year, another lifetime..
I'm an ENFJ but INFJs and ENFJs have the same functions, just in a slightly different order, but everything in this video was still applicable and MIND BLOWING how much I understand myself better now. Thank you Frank!!!
As a ISTP person, I will never understand what 'overplan' means.
Hwang_Nina as an INFJ, I will never relate
lucky
as infj, I relate to over planning
I think it means to exaggeratedly prepare for simple things.
It must be great to live like this.
âIâm here to save the world. Iâm not here to figure out what version of QuickBooks to sign up for.â đ
My motivational tips: 1) make the real life steps like quizzes with due dates in school, and don't worry about the final untill the end of the quarter when you have actually learned the material. 2) Make the messy stuff fun and like an adventure 3) do transitions in a way that makes you feel confident and ready instead of feeling like you still need to memorize the script again. Like text your partner before you leave work, or do push-ups before public speaking etc. 4) do one small thing every day just for your own joy without involving or telling/ asking anyone else about it.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm INFJ and it's really difficult for me to understand all those things from a objective perpective, as you put it on the video. To see this it's like: "Oh, wow, there's someone who really understand what cross through my mind" in this kind of situations. Keep doing it!
INFJ here and you continue to blow my mind! It always feels like you're talking directly to me! Lol... and you're definitely Spot on! Great tips!
I'm gonna go plan how I'm going to apply these tips. One day of planning would do. Then I'll meditate on it, see it, feel it happenning, reach fulfillment in imagination, ending up not doing it in real life because I already experienced it, and start planning again so I don't fail next time. đ I love you too, FJ. đ
Good thoughts, good video. As an INTJ, the Ni-Se portion was definitely applicable to me. Like you said, part of the reason we keep doing this is because some of the time, often a lot of the time, it works and we get away with it. Except for those times when there really is no way around doing the pesky actual work things. Fe portion, not really applicable to myself, but quite interesting.
Maybe the key for INFJs keeping on task would be Ti related, that is, checking what you want against your internal logic system and using that to bolster and reassure your Ni-Fe wants, that it is something that makes sense and is doable. For me, I think the function I use to make myself do the actual Se stuff is my Fi. I can think of the methods that'll work using Te, perhaps similar to how you can think of motivations using Fe. But just using Te doesn't quite do the trick of motivating me, it can even demotivate me more, because I know how to do the Ni idea, but I haven't done it yet; it seems like a lot of effort or I keep thinking I could be using my time in a better way or I can think of other things I ought to do first etc. So Fi is more so what I use to actually stay on task and make that thing a priority, by checking the method and idea against my internal feelings on it, that it is something I want and that I do strongly want to achieve it, by stubbornness if nothing else. Being the third function, using the Fi definitely requires a conscious effort, but it's what works for me. So based off of my personal INTJ experience I'm curious whether that would translate over to INFJs as Ti being key in staying on task/self motivation.
I haven't even finished the video yet, but I'm an INFJ and I'm writing a novel right now. I really struggle with getting past planning and actually moving forward. This video really pinpoints exactly how I feel, and it was awesome that Frank James used my exact situation as an example. INFJs really do think alike.
I needed this with the whole situation going on. I feel like the longer I stay locked in my house the less Iâm using Se and more Ni and Iâm getting more disconnected from society and actually doing things, and I keep planning so much and doing so little
@@helenes4409 I'm exactly the same
a lot of this is the âtrying to work out what everyone else is feelingâ thing you were talking about.. but tbh I have certain people now that know I need this, and I will just show them Part 1 of my project and theyâll be like âyay this is amazing well doneâ and that helps motivate me to show them the next bit đ I think Iâm just a very lucky INFJ with a couple of super supportive close people who genuinely want to see me succeed. We definitely need community even if we think we donât!
As an INFP, this was very interesting. I could very much relate to the first two aspects, and I'll definitely try to implement those things in the future. As for the last one, when you talked about the difference between INFP and INFJ, it was actually really eye opening. Because even though I might not like hearing that my idea sucks, or I might feel hurt by it, I find it so difficult to change my mind once I've come to a conclusion. It's because it took me so much to finally get to the point where I can confidently say 'I stand by this idea, it 'feels' right, so I'm gonna go through with it', that when someone disagrees with me, it's like... I cannot change my mind now. I've literally lost sleep over that thought and decision, planning every little thing out in my mind, perfecting it, and you cannot tell me now it's not right. Which really, really sucks, because I work as a designer and I sort of have to take feedback from people and change it the way they want me to, even if it causes me physical pain. Yeah, exaggerating here, but you get the image. So, really, I wished I was more like an INFJ, able to accept their feedback and twist my idea to please them. I really think I chose the wrong profession, now. I clashed with so many people while working on designs, and it's not because I think my work is perfect or I think too highly of myself, it's the opposite. I often look at my work and think how I have no talent at all, and I hate it, so I change it over and over and over again, until it seems worthy enough to be even shown to someone, and then they go and criticize it, and the fear of having to do it all over again and hating my work yet again is so consuming. So... yes, this was eye-opening, but in a way I wish I hadn't come to the conclusion because it really means I'll possibly never be able to work with and for other people in the creative field....
Probably late and all and I hope everything is a little better now. Firstly, no need to wish you are an INFJ, you are an INFP for a reason, and don't forget that this supposed weakness of yours can also be a strength in some cases and in others and just because it's not entirely helping you the way you want it to, doesn't means it's bad. What I would suggest doing is honestly do the person's idea and yours too at the same time, but that might be too stressful, and I can't really tell you to flow with it because then again, you need the consumers feedback. Slowly, but surely, I hope you'll find what works best for you. This wasn't the most motivating of speeches, but yeahđ. I hope you figure out what's best for you at the endâ€ïž
I am a very similar situation being supposedly a infj. For me, the worst part isn't the acceptance of other's opinion (usually a shallow opinion in contrast with my intrincated and sometimes wrong reasons). The worst part is I know no matter what I say, my explanation will sound stupidly intense to them, so I have to simulate that everything is fine in order to look a normal person. But it isn't. That effort to hide how much proper things matter to me is an energy drainer. I also think designer isn't a good job for us, which is curious thus we usually are very creative.
I have youtube premium because i canât stand comercials and i spend a lot of time on youtube, and for a while i was confused when frank did comercial cuts, but now i get it, i fell so dumb
Frank with high Fe: shares plans with others for feedback & motivation.
Me with high Fi: gets irritated when people are too involved. just let me do my own thing.
Great video as always, Frank.
I find a lot of people would rather chew their own arm off than give a pat on the back, compliment, or any support of something beautiful I've created. Others have no qualms about it and are always supportive. Even family has been that way and that's the worst. Some people do not like it when you do good or something good happens to you. They are jealous and resentful and seem to go out of their way to never say a kind word. Yes, we just want feedback on what we are doing. As a perfectionist since probably birth, but it showed it's face in Kindergarten when making a clay ashtray (which WAS the best ashtray in the class) feedback on how we are doing- if what we are doing is good- do people like what we've done- is important. Have a great day Frank!
As an INFJ This is one of the most insightful things I have come across. It speaks to the internal conflict that I have with people pleasing. It is so on point....and the point that you made of feeling like you have accomplished something just because you received validation is so true. Insightful!!
Your videos about INFJs are so insightful and the humor makes them so entertaining!
The explanation about the planning vs explosion of details when starting your own business is spot on! I find it so refreshing to laugh at one self đ
"I can only plan for 3 hours and then I have to start writing the next chapter of my novel."
What about the first chapter of my novel??? đ yep, I've definitely been planning too much
I really, really needed this FJ. You posted this at exactly the right moment. Thank you :)
Wow... no one has put into words what I'm constantly thinking about like you just did. The 3rd point you made, about how we don't trust ourselves reallly hit the heart. I pride myself on being independent but then I find myself needing validation from people when I have a "new directiom" or "new idea". I'm a walking contradiction and it is annoying!
I'm sat here laughing at myself for the weird way my mind works: "That's an awesome idea, Bee!" *feels accomplished and that I'm doing the right thing despite not having actually done anything for months since coming up with the idea* đđ Everything you said was on point, thanks for sharing!
"I didn't come here to figure out what version of QuickBooks I should get." That moment when you remember FJ is an accountant.
For you INFJ out there, from an INFP: there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing something for yourself! ;)
And if you truly can't help yourself but only think of others, consider the following: taking care of yourself, making sure you are doing well and maybe even feeling good will make you stronger. It will make you more resilient and capable to do good for others. The more you take care of you, the better you can take care of others. That's whay I try to teach all my INFJ and ENFJ friends anyways.
Good luck! I believe in your projects! So go for it! ;)
Thank you for taking the time to comment that! â€đ
Wow you just described the story of my life! I have spent an unfathomable amount of time researching and planning on... basically everything that I have done or started to do... The amount of unfinished projects I have is so ridiculous that the guilt and shame I have for not finishing anything keeps me from making any commitments in my life. I tell people I'm not a reliable person if they ask for my help and that they should find somebody else đł THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!
The greatest advice is: start doing small actions. Once it's done, you'll fell better and more capable of continuing. For me, I think a lot about people and analise a lot, so it seems like I don't know about the things I studied and learned, and seems like I forgot everything I learned, but when you stop thinking (at least a little bit) and take a book to read, or take a walk observing nature, or do some mathematics, even simple, or draw something... Anything that you are 100% dedicated to it, you'll feel much better and motivated. I'm working on it this week, also I'm fighting anxiety and this helps a lot too.
Getting the notification for this video when you've been staring at the cealing the whole morning hits in a different way.
âUnexpected detailsâ. Yep
About the third point, one of my biggest struggles in life (I'm an INFJ) was living with pretty unstable parents and relatives, whose stand on things was basically never truly reliable
Hi mature INFJ here, Itâs going to be really hard not to listen to other peopleâs opinions to get motivated because of our extroverted feeling, but now I almost want to hear negative feedback and try to prove everyone wrong, I used to let it get to me and not do what I wanted, but being a mature INFJ is using our functions to our advantage, so continue to seek opinions from other people, when you get good feedback then you get on with it, when you get bad feedback you use the fact that you could prove everyone wrong and change peoples opinions on that subject to fuel your motivation. Itâs a win win both ways.
*His word stab me, just as he say, it's hurt so much*
"Ok INFJ, you can do this.."
**actually finally plays Skyrim SE despite not having all the mods she wants installed**
This is exactly what is making my motivation plummet. The problem is I over kneaded every avenue of bread to the point that I donât want to pursue any life track! I seem to work better when I just flow into things. The planning is killing my ability to stay present!
Thank you Frank, from the bottom of my heart, for this!! As an INFJ struggling with perfectionism this is soo helpful!
As a homeschooling mama it is so fun to plan the the next 18 years for each of my 7 children's futures....and redo it 6 months laterđ. Keep it simple mamas...meals, sleep, reading and activities, cleaning, and free periods...and then simply do the routine daily.
Homeschool momma here also!
As much as I love your hilarious skits, itâs videos like these that warm my heart. Thanks for being an on-screen cool and attractive friend that Iâve always wished I had!
INFJ here...it took me a while to get motivated to comment! but here it is...for the last few months I try to focus on the Why instead of the How for whatever I am doing. And that has been life-changing for me, because the How tends to get me stuck in the planning phase every time.