Why INFJs Get Stuck in Life
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- čas přidán 13. 10. 2020
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Why INFJs (and all NF types) get stuck and don't follow the vision they have for their life.
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I have to say, finding your channel really boosted my self-confidence, and helped me realize who i am! Thank you, and i can relate to every single thing you ever say for us, infj's.
You have done it. I got a commercial on your video. I am in the Netherlands. Dont know if this differs from region to region
Sounds really good, I'm looking forward to it!
Assuming this is a online event and not at a conference locale?
Having children provides the opportunity to learn more about yourself. Especially when they are babies. Kind of like going through the process of writing a novel or taking on a scary life goal. (I realize the responsibilities aren’t the same)
I'm an INFJ and I'm an expert at having lots of exciting visions and ideas, and then immediately talking myself of actually doing them. Self-sabotage yaaaay
I'm so an INFJ! ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ)
I understand this very well!
The story of my life!!!!
So me!!!! Exhausting isn't it? x
Same. But I think I've become slightly better. I accepted imperfection. It helped. Now I can be happy looking at the result even though the initial vision was very different. 🤷🏼♂️
Same ..so much excitement and pages of journaling and research about it etc and then boom! Losing all that ..so crazy and quite irritating!
"THEY GET SOMETHING LOST IN THE TRANSLATION BETWEEN BRAIN AND WORLD."
Sums up each moment of my life. :)
Santana
Yep
Yesss
Especially during school
Yeah... when that happens I call my best friend and say "Raaaach! HALP! I'm up in my own head again!" and she brings me back to Earth.
U guys in the comments are the closest thing to a soulmate I've ever seen.... It's like we share a brain
I don’t even feel like a real person sometimes. I can’t explain it
Thank u.
@@inesbalti7007 for what?
@@xyphor317 coz even without "explaining" u said the explained a feeling that I had my life. I thought I'm the only one to feel that way... And as much I don't mind being alone.. it just feels good to have some sort of "company" even in the craziness.
@@inesbalti7007 oh okay I understand now. I’m glad you can relate a bit. I mean, I feel bad you also feel this way, but I’m glad you found it comforting. Hang in there. My mental health has been really bad lately.
@@xyphor317 I hope 🙏 u get better and thank u again
“Done is better than perfect”.
hi army i hear this from BTS is am right!?
but anyway iam army too hi👋💜
Ik but I can’t help it
@@loonregrettedit8135 yeah its Namjoons favourite quote😊
@@Bangtansarangʕ•ᴥ•ʔ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙
@@kevster5252 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑜 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑏𝑡𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑑 💜💜💜
I feel like we like the idea of something better than the reality of it.
Always!
Yes
yes! 😩
Bingo!
Forever and more
overthinking every single shit that happens is my job
Same
Every friggen day
Pure torture it is. Must learn to use for good. Lol 34 yrs old. If you have any ideas please lend a helping hand even though I know it wont work. Lol
I just want a switch to turn off my brain.
Same
I’ve really missed these INFJ heart-to-hearts. Can’t find any in my own world.
i feel ya
@@clown416 same here :/
So sad. We can't find connection
Can we all INFJ be friends?
Can we all INFJ be friends?
My advise as an INFJ is the opposite lol. DON'T TELL your plans to anyone, because the moment you said it your brain will think it has been achieved and you will put less efforts to actually do what you want and you'll end up with less chances of achieving your goals (you can google this, it has been proven by studies). You can still give some clues to other people and ask for advice if you want, but always stay vague. That way you'll also avoid being influenced by others expectations and projections. But I also encourage you to write down your plans/desires, and to plan the steps "in reverse" by going from the result to where you are now, if that makes sense.
This is so true and often happens to me! I tell people I'm going to do such and such (grand plans) and then I never actually do it, which makes me look like I'm all talk no action. I've started to learn not to do that anymore, especially if it's something I really want.
@@frangipanisandgirl Wow I’m literally the same! Whenever I tell people about plans they always flop but I’ve definitely learned my lesson now 😅
Preach! There was once a picture and quote I found inspiring. It showed a picture of a huge iceberg. A tiny amount of the top was showing. But below the surface, it was enormous. And it said something like, 'only show them the tip of the iceberg, then surprise them with you success you worked on in secret.'
Exactly
So true...
Me having my birthday as an INFJ alone, for the third year in a row and I wanna say: most of our problems are our selves, we just have to learn how our brain works and make the best of it.
Happy birthday!
Better alone than with someone you're not sure what love means for him...(same for friends).
@@hthrnnclrk ah thanks so much, not having the best birthday ever but you made my day
@@spacetablet8370 heavy talk, keep that up
Happy Birthday! Mine was last week fellow Libra.🌈❤
Living in a dream world is so much less painful. There's no failure, or arguments, or betrayal... visions are a great balm right now.
Signed, ENFJ Burned In Relationships.
Sometimes my actual dreams are vivid virtual realities and much better than real life or anything I could imagine during the day.
The last amazing one told me I was running out of time but didn't tell me what to do with it. They effectively told me not to worry.
But when you face the reality it is heartbreaking. 😔Having the same.
same. -INFP.
Same. I've been daydreaming, going back and redoing all those hurtful things that were done to me and making them come out the absolute best way they could have. It's hard to return to reality after that.
Same.
-infj
You know, this video reminded me of a quote from Steve Harvey that says “Never tell your big dreams to small minded people”. And now I totally get it. Like it’s not your vision, it’s mine
Yes, this. We are so sensitive to criticism and it will easily discourage us, no matter who it's coming from. I've had to learn many people are not very smart and will say any dang thing they want to based on how THEY are feeling in the moment. So if all they're spewing is negative shit then they're negative little shits a majority of the time, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Yes! I’ve told some of the dreams/life goals I had to people because they would do the whole “What are you gonna do with your life?” thing and I regret it because I ended up dropping that dream because of how other people reacted to it. I have different dreams now but I’m not going to tell anyone my biggest goals. Which is kind of tricky because if people ask you about yourself you feel the need to be super vague which can come across as guarded or not open 🤷🏻♀️
I also think we INFJs need to learn to love without attachment, especially since we're always growing and outgrowing the people in our lives.
All the sensory overload just feels like an obstruction to the supposedly perfect vision. Sometimes, it's like the mind starts obsessing with unnecessary details to fit them into the idea, simultaneously not dealing with the essential ones, resulting in procrastination or no achievement.
The fact is thta i love my mond and ituition but if we want to succed we need to fight with ourselves until we get used to it, it is the only way, because we are used to make perfect, safe decision that leads to nothing and often leads us the wrong direction. We are made to be hardworkers, because we have the ability to get used to it soon and handle hard things that often not. We are scared of the start and the finish if we are what we wanted to be, if not emotional clabs is calling or work with pain and force and at the end be proud of yourself you did it with multipliing your confidence.We need to choose and let go of perfectionism.
@@a.g.1419 damn I can relate very well to what you said. I just want to deal with my vision the way I have it in my mind, including several subconscious assumptions. I don't even realize while I'm doing that. Yes, whenever we take a safe decision, another sensory detail comes up to ruin the perfection and then it goes like a never ending story. Hard working feels really good, and I function better, but I need a deadline in certain cases. It's like handling both Ni and Se at the same time gets tough.
As an INFJ, I've been feeling this recently. I have a lot of things in my mind that i want to do But i don't know how. I always get stuck on just ideas. I always have a hard time putting it in reality. I'm afraid of what people will think and how it will turn out. This vid somehow helped me explain what i feel. Glad i found your channel FJ. Thank you.
where are my fellow INFJs???✨
🧡
🙋
💗
This is a message to all INFJs out there, feed your introverted intuition with philosophy and the world will be your playground, it has worked wonders for me beyond my wildest dreams and I believe it can work for you too. I would recommend Nietzsche, Alan Watts, Goethe, Kierkegaard amongst others. Heed the words of Carl Jung and integrate your shadow and self actualize so you can become the super version of yourself or the Übermensch as Nietzsche would say. When you start to self actualize and chase your purpose in life the Herd (95% of society) will mock you and try to bring you down, but always remember the words of Charles Bukowski
“ Not wanting solitude, not understanding solitude; they will attempt to destroy anything that differs from their own.
Not being able to create art they will not understand art, and then they will hate you”
I had to take a screenshot of this comment. Well said!
The quote is from “The Genius Of The Crowd”. great poem by Charles Bukowski. And also well said!
@@patientlips so did I lol!
Philosophy is great to see things from another perspective and find what ideas resonate. But also get back in touch with God because he'll be there waiting for you :) God is the answer to all of why's and how's I had before, all of the uncertainties and anxieties
@@oneeightnineseven1 “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7 NIV
Ugh the aesthetic of this video is ✨perfect✨
i thought same , agree to you 👌
@@dreamwish286 excuse me?
@@dreamwish286 who are you to say that to her?
Franks face is very handsome I agree
@@calebereid thank you!
Im actually trying to finish a book I started in 2009. I'm afraid of the criticism that will come from writing a book like this because so much of me is in it. I'm afraid it will be misunderstood. But I still want to write it and release it regardless.
Dude good luck!! What's the genre of the book?
@@manalkhalid2130 Thank you. 😊Chick lit
Some of us can't even finish reading a book unless it's a non-fiction book so well done 😅
@@kath1017 Awesome. Hopefully all the hard work you've been doing for 10 years pays off! 👍
@@louisejoel Thank you. There's books I haven't finished yet too..
Lol 😆
“A baby, as cute as it is, is useless.”
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
👀😭😭
Frank James, 2020
Truth! Much as we hate to admit it.
They are not even cute
The “I wanna live in Alaska” analogy! People who don’t have this mindset can’t seem to comprehend how much happiness, inspiration and energy we can harvest from the stages of a dream as early as the vision. A lot of people will rush through the steps to arrive at the reality and THEN reap the benefits of the situation when it has manifested in the physical world. Seeing us lingering in the early stages of a plan with their mentality I think causes them to believe we are being lazy and absolutely must be stressed as a result. Hence the grilling about “how will you get there? What will you do for a job?”. It’s interesting. This channel has been one of my favourite finds this year.
I wanted to live in Alaska, and I just moved there today! Yay!
Honestly, so many people were like "Alaska?!?!?! Why Alaska?!?!"
I wanted to say none of your businesses, but the INFP in me tried to explain my thought process and it pretty much came out as "the weather is snowy and I will be living on my own finally." There is so much more to the story, but explaining it all to someone who already is skeptical of the dream just seems like a waste, because they wouldn't understand.
I live in Alaska. It’s great if you are an outdoors type person but it’s full of loonies, violence, drugs, and stds
@@twistedspike69 I think you misspelled "California" there....
You speak truth.
INFJ here who's always wanted to live in Alaska 😅
Hell if this ain’t me. Not only do you use the analogy I’ve been using this entire time about feeling like everything I want is behind this glass wall and I’m just endlessly banging on it trying to get through to the other side, but you also manage to explain why I’m not super great at articulating my thoughts to others AND why I don’t appreciate people fuckin with my vision. I feel like I have this thought after watching every one of your videos but WHY ARE WE THE SAME PERSON
Even writing down the vision, or drawing doodles of it, could help. I can't make TO DO lists anymore. Easier to start with finished project in center, even if vision is not clear, then write down things that need to happen before it can become reality. And create a kind of project management chart. I can't see all the steps so it's easier to work from the end result backwards.
Step by step lists always end up with, Oh but wait, between step 3 and 4 I need to do 6 other projects.
My brain sounds like Donald trump when I wanna do something
I’m gonna go on a walk and it’s gonna be great, I won’t do it right now but it will be amazing, amazing, just you wait, I’m not sure when, but the weather is beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
Lol im a fan of him, but yeah lol me too.
Lmao yess
Haha! Same! 😆
🤣🤣🤣😂😂
Bruh yes
Why don't you do this?
Basically me: Because of...this and THIS "can't explain anything"...uh, you would not understand.
As an INFP, I really struggle with making decisions, to the point where I sometimes just go with the flow. I just fear that I might miss out on something good and for this reason I always wanna keep my options open. I think it's pretty typical of INFPs.
Yes. Same. 😬
I'm an INFJ 5w4, I also struggle with this to the point that I don't even know who I actually am. Am I this or that? Do I like this or that? Should I go this way or that way? I DON'T KNOW! I just want to know how people do it, how do they know what they like and how they are? Is just that I been going with the flow for years now, letting everyone choose for me because I thought that whatever they choose for me was the best there was. And if it wasn't then is fine because is on them not me, I can just lay back and watch them take responsibility for something they chose for me from a safe distance. I guess I'm never been afraid to fail(to go with the flow) in life. But I need to put an end to this because otherwise I'm never going to meet the true me. So I need to be strong and break the pattern that I've gotten so used to and make the first choice without fear. I CHOOSE TO GET UNSTUCK, I CHOOSE TO GO ON!
@@diianed.8122 That's a great comment! I also try to remind myself that I still have time to try different things and see how I feel about them, and if something doesn't work out, I can just take a step back and choose another path. Good luck to you! I'm sure everything will work out in the end :)
@@diianed.8122 I have the same problem, and when the things are starting to finally move i stop doing what i was doing to make it move and get stuck again. I think that we need to feel the pain to be proud, confident even we don't like it, we often don't realize that it is gonna make us stronger.
Yep. Took me 2.5 years, but I finally moved out of my parents' house after wanting to since I graduated college. Circumstances and indecision really held me back.
But finally, I said "screw it, I am moving." Because the INFP can also decide to do something spur of the moment, lol.
And now I am living in my new place as of just an hour ago!
I think the only reason I don’t follow through with my true passion is because I’ve already disappointed my parents and family one too many times in the past. It makes you think you’re less right about your own decisions as you get older.
Yup! couldn’t agree more, all my decisions have turned to crap, I no longer trust my own judgment.
That’s why I rarely share what is going on in my mind. It is SO clear to me but I feel so incompetent to articulate it. It is of such complexity I wouldn’t know how to start so I just keep it to myself. Sometimes I have a little bit of success when I write it down but still it is all over the place.
~Small dreams are legit too !~
My bf asked me what my dreams were, and when I said them out loud they felt honestly so small (a small house of my own with few neighbors, a wood stove and a garden, my current job, a lot of free time to write for my own enjoyment, and read and keep learning, and craft) I was actually shy about them. I felt their relative accessibility might point out that I don't have enough self esteem to think I could do better, but I guess it's what actually matters to me despite the lack of social prestige👏
Me too!
I feel the same way. I just want to be happy (and left alone in peace lol).
Same here. F**k neighbors though. They make noice.
I'm sure you have loftier goals too. Like having a deep relationship with a human or real connection with nature
@@Madamchief I think the goals I wrote that are more in the physical world will ultimately give me enough time and peace of mind to pursue these things too !
A friend of mine doesn’t have a big vision. She just does stuff that leads to other stuff and eventually some things fall into her lap...
And when I am honest with myself, then I see that whenever I got stuck my vision was not helpful. Instead I had to look at what I am most afraid of and then find the courage to move into that direction!
Makes sense!
I do that too 🙄
Wow. This is so good. Thanks for sharing!
My inner dialogue:
Talents, 'why are you neglecting me and keeping me locked up in here?'
Me, 'because if I let you out you'll be something else! I love you too much to let you go!'
'It's like an attack on my personal identity and I don't want to change.'
Ugh! I must conquer this.
Love Wacky Wednesdays FJ! Thank you!
This is so true❤😭
@@joesquinn9517 isn't it just! :) the torment is that we want so much to develop our talents. It's kind of the ultimate love-hate relationship. grrrr! haha!
Exactly..this happens to me all the time 🥺
@@juliemay9295 yep! 😭I want to really put out my talents out into the world such as singing, poetry and drawing but also I feel like what use will it be? My talents which were so precious and were my little secrets will be exposed to the world.. I feel like the world would misuse my talents..
I also have the fear of the world copying my work and I, never getting the credit for it until I die..
It's like a paradox. I am the reason for my own doom when I think of all these..
@@joesquinn9517 I totally get that. The worth is definitely a thing.
Copyright is easy to do but I used to worry that I wouldn't even know if someone was using my work. So claiming copyright couldn't be done anyway.
It's a journey though. It feels awful to think I will always be like this. And I'm 56 now! Lol
I feel like intuition is like looking at a vague picture, and only you have the glasses to see it clearly, others can guess what the picture is, but no one is really sure, and no one can use your glasses either, they're tailor-made for you
It literally took me two years to go from "I want to move" to this week where I'm actually going house viewing and signing contracts. This video really hit home. I know what I want but how and the fear and the starting etc is just HARD. And I've spent the entire week spewing to my friends in hope that they can help me make sense of what I want and if this is the right choice and if it's okay etc.
I definitely start working again. The comfort zone feels sooooo good but when you realize that this is not what are supposed to be and what you want it is honna hit you emotionaly hard like a plane crashing your head. For me when i sucessed in something it had those steps:
- Work on finding your purpose until it gets as clear as crystal which can take about two or more days.
- Finally work, personalize your workspace
- Fuck get up in the morning, it sucks and you may be angry that you do it but it is worth it.
- Overcome your fear and compete with procrastination even it hurt so much
- See results
- Keep going
- Be proud, happy more confident and find ne qstuff to do to repeat this cycle which can make you stronger.👍
It IS okay. Dreams don't have to be fireworks and extravaganzas to be great. I think your dream is awesome and you are making it happen. You can do it!
stuck INFJ here 🙋🏽♀️ just the video I needed thank you!
I feel like I need to say this: I have friends but I don't ever see them or trust them much. I have my own world with my own mental friends. I basically dont trust anyone and always feel very left out in everything. I am also struggling with EXACTLY what he talks about in this video. I have no idea what to do. I used to be awful at math and then I got better. But then I took three days off and forgot literally every detail about the Math I learned in 8 days. I got too excited and wore myself out. I worked so hard to get my HSED this year and the last thing is math. I just hope I can do it. Re-Learning Algebra when you're 19 SUCKS.
Im learning something at 30 with the same issue -.-
I mean i dont forget literally everything, but its a lot less familiar.
Oh sweetheart , be brave..
@@laurakmetko5400 thank you I'll try.
Me: This guy is literally the cutest guy on CZcams.
My daughter: Why only on CZcams?
Me: Ah,yeah. Good point :)
Awww 🥺🥺
Agreed
Your daughter has a point.
@@we7534 LOL
@@we7534 HAHA
Self-sabotaging which after long enough leads to learned helplessness.
There is logic to emotions, but we're not taught to develop our emotional intelligence.
But until you can rewire your brain you're just going to keep making mistakes which train your brain to fail.
Rewiring is a good analogy, but humans are a little more complex than that. NFs kinda see both sides of that analogy-- logic, experience, emotion, and how it all connects. I've quit smoking many times-- the longest was 5 years. Trouble is, I never do completely deal with the pain at the root of that addiction. It takes as much work within oneself as it does action-in-the-world to bring one's vision into reality. Self-sabotage is a largely unconscious process, I assure you. The challenge is in catching yourself doing it (Shadow Work). Tricky tricky tricky
@@anniethenonnymouse These days when I'm reading a book our watching a video I'll have a mindfulness self-pep talk where i acknowledge that the parts of my mind that really need to learn this stuff might not be around when I'm consuming it-they're gonna scurry under the bed or check out while i go into autopilot mode for reading. That's actually become a pretty reliable litmus test for what i really need to work on-if my retention of something is like it is the silence from Dr. Who, I'm unintentionally blocking it out.
So I revisit those passages and i read the last sentence out loud backwards, then forwards, then i go to the second to last sentence and read it backwards along with the last sentence then i read both forwards without missing a beat.
By no means is this perfect, but it kinda helps.
One of the best books I've found for this is called Rewire and it's by Richard O'Connor, PhD
Keith - I think infjs find relief in knowing there is logic to emotions. A method to the madness or a science behind the art..however the saying goes (pick ur metaphor) Also, Annie said it as well..the cleverness can even trick themselves at time ..into failing ie. Hope this makes sense
Oh and yes reading books is a slow process for me these day! But I pretty much just judge it now by if I don't 'feel'like doing it it's probably something I absolutely must do/learn to reach my goal
...
Yup! 🙁
Enfp here... I hate when people ask me about my plan to get to my vision... Most of the things I did, I had no plan, the plan developed WHILE I worked towards the goal
Same here.
I just had a conversation with my sister a few minutes ago. I was telling her my visions and when I was thinking about them on my own , it felt like I had such a great idea. but she was asked me how I was planned to make it happen and I couldn't explain it logically .she looked so disinterested and that made me feel really bad and disheartened and I came here to try to comfort myself and understand why I felt the way I did. This helped so much. You are so wise. I thankful everyday for ever finding your channel. Keep up the great work you are doing.
THIS IS PERFECT TIMING AHSOFJSB
I needed this so badly.
Me too.😂 It helped me to know truth.
My writing process is one day full of doubts, one day writing wonderfully, next day doubting everything again and so on.... I learned never to talk about my projects, mostly never, to anyone, because I'm better writing than talking anyway.
Lololololol, FJ, I literally just moved to Alaska this morning 😆😆😆
It started as a dream years ago and has now been realized. Yay!
Maybe this INFP self of mine can start making other dreams happen
The moment when you want to cry because of your situation but also laugh because this was very accurate.
Omg. This is the story of my life. Whatever i think of doing, it just get stuck forever in my mind and never becomes reality...i'm an artist and it's even painfully hard painting because i know that the result won't be like my imagined version of it. Lately i randomly paint for this reason. I don't feel good enouph for the real world. In my mind is different :i'm super talented and everything is perfect. There is this huge gap between how my mind says i should be and what i actually do in the concrete world. Yesterday i wrote a phrase to remember to be more concrete and practical: Get off your throne in Fantasyland and get your hands dirty in the real world! Lol
I have to stop myself from skipping through tv show episodes.
I am an INTJ and one of my closest friends is an INFJ, and the lack of Te in him drives me insane sometimes lol. NF and NT types can get stuck in the la la land a lot, but while NTs at least know exactly what they want, I feel like NFs are perpetually unsure what fits them and I actually doubt if they ever end up figuring out who they are in general. It's like when I go shopping, I know exactly what I need and want so when I see it, I just grab it and I am done; but you guys just keep shopping and shopping and shopping and shopping and shopping...........just buy something already ok!! Lol!
Right! And if it doesn't fit, one can always return it... or pass it on. ;)
@@qu0thraven oh but it ALWAYS fits lol
😂😂😪
I am infj 8w9 and I do not usually hesitate when I go shopping. My Ti is in command.
@@planetcaravan4040 that was an analogy lol
This is getting creepy FJ. Your videos and WOTW emails always answer to whatever I'm having trouble with at that moment, PRECISELY. 🤯
I know! Spooky!
What are the wotw emails
Extroverted sensing?
@@_Trakman Word of The Week, if you subscribe to his "fun club" you get a little essay every monday !
Bruh y'all know your personality and there's me who cant figure out my type even after studying cognitive functions.
Btw I guess I am an INTP who is emotional to myself
Edit: I understood what extraverted feeling is and guess what, INFJ fits so well but if INFJ is me, I dont want to be one
INTJ here, i'm lost too. feel like i wasted my life, i feel "worthless". my entire life was a failure and i keep trying for a lucky shot. for what? to feel that i'm worth something. getting sucess for me is not even about money, but being know for making something to humankind. i know this is utopic and unrealistic. but that's me. people get satisfied for just getting a good life, and a regular job. i'm dont judge them, i kinda envy. my "fate" is trying sucess all life and getting miserable for my efforts never fulfilling my expectations
actually im not sure if i'm INTJ.
I'm getting closer to college and my visions are still vague. I'm trying to write a fictional story but can't manage to continue writing it anymore because the ending already happened in my mind but the flow of the story is kinda blurry and I don't want it to be part of the reality. I really needed this because I thought it's just me so thank you, Frank.
ohhhhhh
“ I wanted to be a writer, that's all. I wanted to write about it all. Everything that happens in a moment. The way the flowers looked when you carried them in your arms. This towel, how it smells, how it feels, this thread. All our feelings, yours and mine. The history of it, who we once were. Everything in the world. Everything all mixed up, like it's all mixed up now. And I failed. I failed. No matter what you start with it ends up being so much less.”
- Michael Cunningham
I am stucked between: Work for your goals and If it is meant to be - it will be...
I think this is why I encourage myself to write my thoughts out to people. My thoughts often center around speaking to some kind of audience, so I push myself to actually write the things in my head out to the person in mind. And it helps me get my thoughts out into a more concrete seeming position. It makes it easier to get my thoughts out more clearly verbally later. I can't seem to write with any other kind of motivation tho. My INFP friend just completed a 100,000 word novel that I encouraged them to write. But I seem to need to write to people more directly and I think the purpose is that I know that I need the exercise to clear up my thought, vision, or idea.
bruh i just made this best friend who’s an infj and i’m an enfp this is all much needed thank u
So it is more about, not being able to let go of expectections and fearing disappointment
There has always been that thin wall of glass between me and my dream, what I want is a fluffy large cloud that refuses to settle down the earth, and when I am asked to articulate and give details, its as if you want to put your hand in my mind and tangle all my delicate neural connections that can barely picture that vage thing I want to do
It hurts! to say that you are right , I need to verbalize it at one stage at least to my self, I must be a little bit more brave and specific !
You know what’s funny. There is a rapper named NF that is known for making banger albums on the topic of mental health. His music brand is actually similar to your workshop.
When he talked about ads and after that ads popped up i was having hearth attack
He does that in every video, because he can choose when to place to ad, simple as that haha
@@Nephelith thats nice lol
So much more satisfying than a random ad blocking my thoughts
When the infj completes their goal they know they will still be depressed
Stuck infj here..thank you for this video...🙂
This is why I started posting work to AO3 instead of leaving it to google docs. (Especially since you can get feedback and edit it later) it's not so bad to put stuff out there, imperfect as it is. In my experience, I've often been surprised by the kudos and comments I received. "Like wow, you guys actually like my ramblings?" And it gives me courage to post more. Don't forget to give kudos. And commenting is super effective!
When you mentioned the “fear of success” thing I heavily related to that. I always have this fear that if I do good at something or succeed, that’ll kind of be the staple and if I didn’t succeed the exact way I saw in my mind, it is, in turn a failure, because I succeeded at something false or a lie.
I literally googled “why am I stuck” “what to do with my life” today....this hits home
The way he's blabbering about is exactly perfect. I get everything so so so much. I could cry at how much I'm being understood right now
Why does FJ always have such good points smh.. I'm just glad someone knows what they're talking about- we need FJ to guide us!!
Stuck INFJ here. Is there a group where i can meet more infjs and maybe zoom them
i would really love that too
I am stuck, also.
I’m in!
would really love that
@@denadear There is a group called INFJ empath in telegram and you are welcome ❤️
Because everyone thinks we’re crazy and we get stuck fighting with everyone telling us we can’t do something that has never been done. And infj’s know WE CANT DO SOMETHING THAT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE ALONE. WE HAVE A VISION AND THE WORLD GETS IN THE WAY. IM JUST HOING TO CONTINUE TO FIGHT AND CRY THROUGH IT
AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I hear you! Xxx
Still to this day my parents try to do this to me. I just do now. I hate when anyone asks me to explain what I'm doing so I just tell them they won't understand.
Is just into your head,nobody will stop you if you want something.
Our worst enemies is our own mind,more than everybody else.
@@bestix8174 I know no one is going to stop me, but I am literally having fights about my future with people that say the love me. I must assume you are not an infj...
@@imanitrobinson9485 I have traits in common with what the stereotype of an Infj is.
I'm indeed an infj more than I'm other types.
I think being stuck with the thing that everybody that has the same 4 letters
Is the same is not beneficial.
I indeed think that is just another comfort that who shares this personality traits wants to have to avoid facing reality.
You definitely hit the nail on the head with ideas being so perfect, and then feeling like things get spoiled once they become a reality. Great video!
I'm watching in 2020. The Epidemic has allowed me to slow down and reevaluate a lot of things. Your video resonates with me so much. I'm a INFJ with a cancer moon and a Libra sun. So, I'm super sensitive and an empath. Your video helps me a lot. Thank you! Infinite Blessings!!!!
You hit every nail on the head Fj thank you xxxx
Thanks FJ, I needed that
Thanks man, this was totally on point for me and inspired me. The 'afraid of success' hit hard, something to think about. I'm an ENFP but you talk in general about NF stuff often plus I quite relate to INFJs, so. :D But if you ever felt like making any type of these sit down videos about the ENFP type, I'd be excited to hear what you have to say. Cheers Frank :D
I have overcome the detail part as an INFJ, but nobody wants to hear the finer details!
A lot of it is self doubt really, internal and external that really came from internal thoughts. You are the only person preventing yourself!
Thanks for this video, needed it
Looking forward to your workshops!
Your definitely an INFJ, That’s an abusive amount of analogies as Dave once said
Man this video came at a perfect time. Everything you've mentioned in this video, is everything I've ever felt in my life. Love this, really helped me, extremely insightful.
PS I've always thought of the concept of intuition as something like a less visual and a more gut instinct version of precognition.
One problem is when I'm getting down to the details of doing a task, it's hard to connect the dots to the intuitive vision.
👍
Thank you FJ for all your videos!!!
I needed this. Thank you, FJ!!
This is so relevant to me and my experiences this year, as an infj. I have these goals and ambitions and this yearning to grow and create something meaningful by practising art or especially writing a novel or short story, but I just can't push through the phase of envisioning "what it'll all mean" afterwards, so I haven't been able to take any real steps towards making anything happen. I have these floating ideas about the themes and concepts that I want and how it'll all connect together, but when it comes to pinpointing the specifics and finding inspiration to actually come up with ideas, I've been entirely lost and I think Ive been shooting myself down everytime I get too close
"I've been entirely lost and I think I've been shooting myself down everytime I get too close"
To me that's the hardest part, once you push past that initial barrier I've found it's a lot easier to write. One of the things that helped me was thinking 'even if it seems stupid/bad now and even if it actually is, I can always change it later' it helped me start a vague written base that I was able to readjust and gradually add details to. Also I'd advise keeping all the scrapped ideas, they could be useful later on. I hope this helps a little, good luck.
So true , I am some what afraid of success. That's coo coo bananas but that's where I'm at.
Thank you. I needed this video
I needed this. Thankyou.
I’m INFJ and I want to be a poet
I have thoughts & written content for an audiobook or hard copy book. It’s time to take some action!
This was great, Frank! Thanks!
Thank you for this video.
Dear friend,
You seem to be placing a lot of VALUE on external, sensate things. You seem to hold the belief that something is only meaningful or valuable if it exists in the outer, physical world and therefore "success" is dependent upon achieving some sort of outer, tangible marker eg. getting the likes, making the money, producing a book.
But most of life goes on in the intangible world. What we think and feel are vibrations which have a profound effect. An intuitive type can go deep into these thinking or feeling worlds and discover things of immense value. Discovering them is valuable whether you tell someone or not, or put it into a book or not. Because when you discover them, your psyche changes - and, because your psyche is connected to the psyches of all other beings, your discovery affects them also. It is profound. Yes, it is not seen with outer eyes, but it is profound.
Your thoughts and feelings control and determine your life more than anything else. If you have doubt, then your life will be undermined. If you have hope, then your life will be supported.
There's a great fairytale called Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack is admonished for spending his mother's money on magic beans (intuition) rather than on a cow (sensate). The world is full of people who will tell the intuitive that they are crazy for valuing magic beans. So I would actually AVOID telling others what your inner dreams are. Keep it to yourself until you are so strong and confident in it that you won't be thrown off course when the naysayers open their mouths.
You've got to know that you've got the capacity to discover magic beans. Sure, cows are valuable because they feed your body, but magic beans are just as necessary because they feed the spirit.
The spirit is infinite whereas the physical body is temporary and a very limited thing. Value that spirit. Value your connection to that spirit. And when someone says you're crazy or irrational, it's a good thing because you now know they do not and will not value what you bring, therefore it's best to avoid them.
You do not have to justify or explain your inner dream to ANYONE. In fact, justifications and explanations are a surefire way of killing off any momentum or motivation the dream has. It's like putting a butterfly into a straightjacket.
You need merely to bring the dream. Bringing the dream does not involve building anything or "working". It involves being inspired to move. It is inspiration which guides the artist's hand. It is as though there is some greater invisible force guiding you.
And when you do bring the dream, they'll all go "Wow! How did you make magic beans?" And you'll say, "Well, I've always had the ability, but for a long time, I didn't value it and trust it. And I wondered why I was stuck and going nowhere. But the more I valued it, the more it produced these amazing things. I really enjoy the process now. I never know what my inner intuition is going to come up with next. But this I know for sure - it's infinite."
Beautiful and underrated comment, thank you.
@@Peppita_ Thank you for saying, Peppita xx
So ...I should eat the beans? 🙃
@@itswickedsweet4409 If you eat the beans, a magical beanstalk will sprout from your stomach and reach high, high, high up into the clouds of your mind. There you will find stories. (Interestingly, I originally typed the word "stores" which I think is accurate too. In the land of intuition, mistakes and oddities are meaningful.) I wonder what's in store for you? Will you dare to eat the beans and see what happens? Haaa. Following inspirations is so much fun. How would you write the story of "The person who ate the beans"? What would happen in your story?
Wow, thank you so much!
I really want to get over this. I just want to put my ideas into action. Why is it so hard?
I am also in a same boat, but not so bad that seems...
Thanks for the encouragement man.
this is once again exactly what i needed to hear in the middle of a mundane work week👌
Thanks for the real talk FJ!
Thank you for talking about this, I feel like I have been stuck for a few months now. This talk really help!
...also, thank you so much for this one. Good stuff, man!
Literally contemplating this topic today then you post about it, good timing. Got my coffee now ready for my therapy session lol.
I really needed this video right now....nice timing 🙃........
*Thank you for explaining life to me, Frank.*
very helpful , thank you
These are the videos I love your channel for, thanks for this content. (:
Dude. Thank you so much for your videos. Just found them and they're extremely helpful.
This hits me at my core. Thank you, FJ!
So spot on!
Thank you so much for this
It's been a tough time lately and I really needed this to clarify everything and make a step forward. Thank you 💕