10 Secrets of the INFJ Personality Type
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 14. 05. 2024
- What are the secrets of the INFJ personality type? Do you have any of these traits? Watch this video to explore with me some of the surprising sides of the INFJ.
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Response to the article "10 Secrets Of The INFJ, The Rarest Personality Type In The World" by Jenn Granneman: introvertdear.com/news/infj-s...
More INFJ videos in my INFJ playlist: âą FJ on INFJs
#INFJ #MBTI #16Personalities #16Types #MyersBriggs
đŽ Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ czcams.com/video/AwATt5_nXNM/video.html â
Shoutout to raising awareness
Around 7:10, you're talking about how you're really just trying to give yourself advice (lol), you say, "to all the other INFJ's -(and while having your head down and motioning to the camera)- IN there, try some new stuff." Instead of what would more commonly be said out, 'out there'. Implicitly recognizing we're all the same person manifesting at different locations. LoL. Love it. I thought I was an ENFJ for the longest. I just realized recently I'm an 'I'. ayyye. No pun intended.
OMG so me in the future and all that goes with it.
Termage lol
Me first time meeting someone... Leaves knowing everything about them...Me the next time I see them... Won't even make eye contact
INFJs can understand themselves to such a degree that they donât need such videos but only for confirmation purposes.
this.
Yessss
no lol i dont even understand myself but somehow i relate to this personality too much
@@5ive748 lol ikr
But I still love it to have ppl sharing same way of thinking. Need that
Even when Iâm being manipulated, I know when Iâm being manipulated đ
why is this a mood.
like you know whats going on, but then you're too scared to confront them about it. and then you think if you should or shouldn't. and then its too late.
This is what happened to me with my friend hahahha like I'm not stupid I'm enjoying tho
Yeah, IT HURTS SO GOOD... ha
I started feeling this way at work. Other staff made it seem like I was being used to do this one staff's job but I saw it as part of my job description to perform each task I'm given. I thought about putting a complaint as other staff did but I didn't. Maybe I wasn't being used. Maybe she really needed the help.
Haha true
*Me writing a comment:* yeah this is a good comment, someone will find it funny
*Also me:* No, I'm oversharing
*deletes it the second she writes it*
DUDE. Literally just spent the last hour writing/editing what I'm about to comment. I can't promise to find it funny but I'll at least read whatever you were gonna say! đ€Łđ€
This is so true, I had a hard time writing post and sharing post on FB... before I share something I will check the author, and then I will think if I share it will the author think Iâm weird then will my friends think Iâm weird... after sharing, ended up deleting it to prevent anyone think Iâm weird đ
So many times
Omg yesđ
I thought i was the only oneđ
Anyone else becomes EXTREMELY irritated when people change their minds last minute? Like even if it's something stupid
Or people who consistently arrive late! Grrrrr!
YES. I was just talking about this with my mom the other day. I always say "probably" when asked if I can do something because I don't ever break plans willingly. I sometimes say yes when I'm positive I won't back out. So, when others say that they can do something but eventually say that they can't or that something is true that they didn't actually look into, it bothers my brain!
Yep, itâs definitely an INFJ thing. We like controlling everything and creating a plan in mind so when we have to change our plans last minute it is really irritating.
YES ! It fucken makes me so angry. My bf is that kind of "I change my mind in the last minute" not punctual guy. Takes me so much nerve and patience to deal with it lol, but I love him too much. He knows I get angry and is also patient with my so 50 50 lol I still hate that shit though lol
@@ivonnecaradenacho3726 That's how true love works. Good for you, compromise and communication.
INFJ in a nutshell: well yes but actually no
tru dat hunny
Bella good guess but actualy no
No wonder ENTP and INFJ is a thing. ENTPs also likes contradicting ideas and try to make sense of it.
I like your videos and I was just wondering what your back round is. I'm an INFJ, I think, and every time I try to Google you, I just get rederected to your CZcams feed. I just want to know why you put so much thought and effort into the Myers-Briggs personality test.
Kiwi Infj: Yeah nah yeah
I vote you President of the INFJ club.
Iseult _writer I second the nomination
Third
Iseult _writer 4th
I would vote for him
Hi Mr president~!
The way Frank sometimes say âYes and noâ for a point, just proves how much of an INfJ he really is!!đ Same Dude. Same.
In my first language we have yesno as a term. It's almost always said with a small sigh or exhale - whiether it's implied positively or negatively doesn't matter. It's always understood as a subject being complex, and I love it.
@@lomien1150 what is your first language?
@@yoshuaisnotok8794 Afrikaans. It's a Dutch derivative spoken in South Africa.
@@lomien1150 thanks for answering
@@yoshuaisnotok8794 you're welcome
1. On a different wavelength.
2. Highly perspective of others.
3. absorb other people emotions.
4. Amazing long range forecasting abilities.
5. Both emotional and rational.
6. Creators of deep emotional intimacy.
7.True introvert.
8. Sensitive to conflict.
9. End up in one-sided relationship.
10. Looking for their soulmate.
This is me totally
"Amazing long range forecasting abilities." Like omg, Lenovo (if that really is your name). I am like freaking Nostradamus or Cassandra and I don't want to be. I cannot even tell you the stuff I have predicted with great specificity because you would not believe me. I don't believe me, but other people know and they are totally freaked out. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Yeah, nobody believes me ahead of time but afterwards they're amazed. What a curse.
Imagine adding me as a Gemini too lol man it's challenging
THANK YOU
I thought long range forecasting was more ne
Did any INFJ here ever happened to completely lose interest in a person after they made a comment you didn't like to the point you were disappointed because you didn't see that coming, like you didn't thought they were that kind of person that you don't like. (ex.: somebody that makes a racist comment) ?
Yes, it has happened to me. It's really sad but there are things that can finish a friendship in seconds and we can't do anything about it, it just happens.
That happens to me too often
Many times. And it's amazing how instantly my feelings can change.
Yes! It's like if I couldn't expect that from (and perhaps, that I disapprove of it), immediately I feel like I must have messed up my WHOLE knowledge of that person, like oh my god, how did this happen!? And they suddenly feel like strangers, too!
Oh how this ruined so many possibilities of relationships
One thing I always found odd before I found out I was an INFJ, was the part about getting others to open up to us so easily. I always thought it was strange how people always tell me mid way through their life story "I dont know why I'm telling you this" and proceeds to continue lolol
Leinad97 this is the most relatable comment, we had a new girl at work and within 5 minutes she was telling me about her addiction and life story and itâs like i donât mind at all but iâve always wondered why people tend to seek me out to open up to
This.
I had a woman at work tell me about how her grandpa's leg was slowly getting removed with surgeries from this one time he ran over his foot with a lawn mower, but he was too stubborn to remove the whole thing and just get a prosthetic. She also used the line, "I don't know why I'm telling you this."
Oh, that was paired with her story of her growing up, and of her life as a mother.
This was on the first late night we had together.
Same, I have some trust issues so I don't really like opening up to people intentionally (it still happens unintentionally in an intimate setting), but even considering that people can open up to me really easily.
Ha! Itâs seriously a burden sometimes. I went on vacation to Chicago once, and I walked into a gift shop for 10 minutes. By the time I left I had heard about the cashier having menstrual cramps that were as bad as her mother used to get, and the shy kid folding shirts in the back told me he didnât feel like his coworkers respected him.
"I need to be selfish from time to time". That's so true. It's difficult to just give all the time and feeling not getting enough from others.
But its too hard to be selfish
â@@isidoragonzalez23i learned the hard way being selfish is essential. No more giving up myself
I met my husband (also INFJ) through Facebook. We found each other on a group, sent friend requests, chatted on Messenger for hours the first time. And that first chat we both knew we are meant for each other. Few weeks later, totally in love before we met face to face. First time we met face to face first thing we almost ran into each other's arms and just embrace and knew we will be married. We planned our wedding and future before he actually proposed. So it is possible to find your soul mate. Still very happily married.
â€ïžâš
Which type u r?
Stop, this gives me hope, itâs dangerous to hope at this point đ
@@rocketta.chique5761 exactly
I had a similar situation where my boyfriend and I immediately knew right away, searched for my soulmate my entire life, randomly ran into each other on a video game and have been inseparable since. Planned our wedding in the first month of our relationship/meeting and would have done the most irrational thing ever if money wasn't an issue. Still happily together a year later and still planning to marry. He's an ENTP who also happens to literally be our typology soulmate type. It's legitimate. Find yourself an ENTP friends!
đ The funniest thing about an INFJ is that we donât just question everything and ourselves, but we also question why we question everything and ourselves.. itâs a continuous evil cycle of questioning which never ends and thus, keeps us more in our heads questioning... why do we do this, and why does matter why we do this.. and so on..
So true
totally accurate
Exactly. Sometimes I wish there was an off switch.
Exactly
when you can't tell yourself to shut up because another perspective persona pops up and tells you to shut up.........
I love how all the infjs in the comments are just so nice and peaceful and understanding đđ itâs so rare to see in comment sections
đ
Well we are rare lol
^-^
Some people lack understand for others, we don't to a curtain extent but if we do we try to make a understanding but this is something that drains us and is hard to share with others that have different views and just see things for what they are without question how they are. Maybe we are always on a quest for knowledge? Fuck knows xD anyway have a good day people
Well yeah, we try to understand and be neutral about things so we avoid being mean and rude.
Ah fuck, when I was 12, I would always think about my life 20 years in the future. Then people would ask how I'm so mature for my age.
As an INFJ progresses both academically, esoterically, and psychologically makes us pretty much independent and capable of anything given the right time and effort. So we end up cleaning up our own mess.
It tickles me how many of these comments end with: "I hope that makes sense"
Literally how I end most of my explanations in real life đ
That's so us lol
I totally do that LOL
Just an INFJ style. :D
After we finish talking there is almost always (I think. ...I mean, in my case maybe(?)) this moment when you stare in complete silence the other person, pondering if the percentage of what you just said that they understood is about 15% or 20% this time. And you can literally see either a blank face like you broke them or the gearwheels of their brain moving.
"Try not to think about 10 years from now."
Haha joke's on you. I have a 30 year plan.
Me too broooo
I laughed so hard hah But... thatâs very true
I have a reincarnation plan A & B a afterlife plan just incase! And a plan if ALL of the above scenarios fail đ€ here's hoping đŻ
"Its very difficult to do sudden! wardrobe change!! stressful when it's blindsided đ€ŠââïžđŹđ€Ș
I find comfort In having a Plan A,B,C,D,E,F,G etc đđ€žââïžđ„
CzarJuliusIII
And noooooothingâs gonna go wrong!
* Ni-dom anxiety builds up *
Make it 60
You INFJ's are awesome. It is a pleasure to go through the comment section. So much self awareness and mental clarity.
A lot of love and respect from an ENTP đ
Unrelateable but relateable
but sometimes I wish I wasn't relating to this INFJ club sometimes :p
Actually it's not that easy. If an infj doesn't know he's infj he's gonna feel reeeeeally wrong about a LOT of stuff, so you reach mental clarity after a lot of self studying (just explaining a little). But whenever he gets there, it's the way you said, and it's a cool/weird experience to live
Can we have our privacy lol
@@rslhruaizela1955 No
@@rslhruaizela1955 honestly lol this is where infjs meet up, weâre constantly learning and itâs the one time we close to focus on learning about ourselves
In my opinions, most of INFJ ws a genius, and Intelligent. They don't care small little things, they think further.
"All humans are difficult to deal with, in general." The gist of all INFJ observation.
WAHAHA
Yes... I have told myself this too many times
Exactly!
Meh, it's interesting to try to figure out what's on their mind
For me its kind of "I hate people but I love them too" does that make sense?
I think INFJs can be in everybody's wavelength because they're good at adjusting it as their ego is low, BUT many people cannot be in the same wavelength with INFJs.
lyana _ Good point. I agree with this
I absolutely agree!!!!
Yes, exactly!!
Agree
lyana _ this exactly
since this guy's INFJ, I know that he cares about authenticity in his discussions. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
I get you. Watching his videos feels like having a deep convo with someone who finally understands you. It's amazing.
that's a very INFJ thing for you to say hahahahahah
WE HEAR YOU đ€Łđ€Łđđđđđđđ
Do infj's loss interest easily, because I do and it's driving me crazy.
Oh gosh YES
This is my whole life
YES. Holy crap. I have an example...
I've been doing langauge learning as a hobby for... almost 2 years now (since Nov. 2019), which is hilarious in itself because I already know I'm going to hesitate to actually use it with people in conversation. Not only that, but I've tried about 20 langauges AND CONSTANTLY switch which one is the "main" focus because I kept losing interest. And not only that, but feeling the need for some reason to remember the history of what I was interested in for some reason.
Literally, in under 2 years, my interest died THIS many times-- my main focus went from Russian to Spanish to Romanian to Swedish to Spanish again (stayed here for a few months) and Japanese to Korean to Spanish again to Vietnamese and back to Spanish then Russian again then German then Spanish AGAIN to Korean to... you guessed it, Spanish, Russian, and Spanish again (for a few months), to Japanese again (stayed here for a few months), then suddenly it was Spanish, German, Korean, and Mandarin all at once (this is now May 2021, and Japanese died for some reason), then German and Mandarin died out, then suddenly I got interested in Japanese again, which suddenly took over everything else, making my interest in Korean die, and Spanish barely hanging on, then after a couple of months, Spanish made a comeback for no longer than a week before I got frustrated and got into the current situation for the past couple of weeks where I practically juggle Spanish, Japanese... and Swedish made a comeback again.
That wasn't even all of the languages. There's a bunch that weren't listed because they lasted not even half a week before I lost interest.
My interest in certain types of music/CZcams videos is somehow even more complicated than that. Am I the most indecisive person born into Earth?!?!
the more i type the more i realize why im single, my interest in people is this bad too, and SEVERE overthinking
I think like most other stuff itâs a yes and no. If you plan everything on that person the stubbornness comes out but if you struggle to find a plan for that person, you can very easily drop them (maybe even harmfully)
Yeah
These INFJ videos have comment sections where I want to thumbs up most comments đ Yaayy INFJ club reunite đŻ
Linda Leijten ikr!! đđđ nicest most understanding comment section Iâve ever seen on CZcams
I love that you said reunite and not just unite. That is that infj intuition speaking.
So true, was thinking the same thing.
Exactly!!! ^_^
Ikr I finally feel understood
Its funny because infj's can understand themselves so much that we dont need this video for help but stress relief XD
Lol I play these at 1.75 speed because "I know" but it's stress relief because I can hear someone else narrate my thoughts instead of doing it myself. And I learn smtg too đ
Ikr. We are normal đ
Lol we cant understand ourselves tbh
Its people who don't understand us. Im here to feel comfort.
Confirmations of what I already know...feels good. It's a guilty pleasure!
I'll straight out say this to you INFJs: I think you are awesome! You heal up people left and right, and whatever your past relationships were (plz forgive my grammar), you and the people's life you'd touch are an invaluable life experiences bad or good. Be grateful for it that it refines all us to be the best version you could strive. Every heartfelt connection you feel is a soulmate (fated), until you find 'The One' unexpectedly creep up on you. Don't give up on life and living! Thank you for living â€ïž
âNo matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.â - Cinderella Sheâs out there!đ
My mom thinks im like cinderella
"Try not to think about 10 years from now" - wow, thats already giving me anxiety
People constantly tell me their deepest secrets or share things they've never shared before AS SOON AS they meet me. I'm waiting for the day I hear, "And now I have to kill you because I told you."
Deep.
Exactly
This is exactly I'm waiting for
God damn
its kinda weird, like they tell you upfront right after they meet you with the lines of "I've never told anybody this lol" and you wonder if you're special or they're trying to make you feel special but no, they've told 15 other people this just like how they met you.
@@vminisfuckingreal998 sometimes that's the case but often times I get to know these people long term and nobody knows their secret. Some examples are: a previous marriage, having a blackbelt, closet homosexuality, a child at home (everyone at work thinks she has no kids), being extremely wealthy, etc.
Maybe they sense that I feel it's silly to judge one's character on these things and that I'd gain nothing from sharing their information.
This why every INFJ needs
an ENFP in there lifeđâš
Yes yes we do. ENFPs are the MVP to our INFJ. We love you and need you.
It sometimes sucks being the "Rarest personality type" because sometimes you have no one to relate to
It's Your Girl FJ đ
i know right??? xD
Best make up tutorials on the tube đ đ»đđ
Good to know I'm not the only one who notice that đđđ
I so loved that, it bothers me endlessly that the default is always male!!
Lol
Living in the future is definitely a really bad habit, but everything is so much nicer there...
K L except for when it isnât and we panic!
@@drennanspitzer6387 Yes, that's the actual, probable future. I prefer the fantasy one, where I'm a bestselling, millionaire author with a yacht and a mansion :D
So so guilty of this. Can't stop, won't stop.
K L omg! I do this too and love it lol đ
Exactly
I'm 56. I struggle with boundries and meeting my own emotional needs. I'M SO happy that so many young people have these words of wisdom, they are spot on.
Please learn to take care if your own emotional needs. I love that I'm a giving person . Doing kind things, and making people happy makes me happy, but I've never learned to treat myself with the same love and kindness that is so easy to give to others.
So very true and I am experiencing the same still at 63
I cried through this entire video because I never knew myself until now and I feel happier to be able to have more of a grasp on my life Iâm a young INFJ having a hard time in life right now... itâs lonely.
I feel like I'm always fighting against my long-term forecasting.
Also, "I think INFJs generally don't like dating. They don't like this search." We really don't.
sad but true
Do you ever find it useful though? I think I can learn much on a date. Such as whether I want a 2nd or not. I'm not trying to sound like a snob or anything like it.
That's why I totally believe in the Importance of the "Kind" of date we spend our time with.,Does that make sense?
@@FrankJames Sometimes yes, sometimes Nope! What's your idea of a cool kind of date?
Yes, I agree the Search can sometimes suck but oooooooh the planting and growing can sure be delicious!!!!
@@wingwaves940 Dating can be useful, for sure. Kind of like getting out and talking to people can be useful (and good for me). But both wear me out big time, even when I'm having a good time. And for me, I've never really been one who sees dating as an end in itself, but a means to getting to what I really want: a long-term, deep, and committed relationship. Thankfully, that's where I'm at now, but I remember dating (and don't miss it at all).
YES. I've delayed pursuing a Master's in Mental Health Counseling due to the economic / time commitment anxiety. I KNOW this is the career I should pursue, but the worry literally keeps me up every night. I try to be rational, "people do this program all of the time," but I seem to perpetually scare myself away from it.
I love the INFJ comment sections đ
Yes pretty good.
Yes. Finally a relateable experience...
R u 1?
About the online dating...
I actually really enjoy looking at different profiles...for no other reason than learning more about different people. I dont really care much for using the app for what it's for, but I find it really interesting to, in a sense, discover more about other human beingsđ
Can anyone else relate?
Literally, I'm completely useless on a dating app, but I get a kick out of the stories people share đ€·đ»ââïžđ
That's.... what I do...... .......... ..........yeah................
Oh my gosh SAME!! Lol I have done the absolute same thing. And thought to myself â what a weirdo â đđ
Same đ I thought I was the only one.
I'm convinced that all us INFj's have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder or have experienced our fair share. We're constantly worrying about what people think of us, our future, being too ambitious yet indecisive it's exhausting
âThey absorb other peopleâs emotions.â
So this is why I start crying when my friends or family are crying...
I am INFP and I used to cry when my sister cried when I was a toddler
CaroSam Chwa, I just subscribed to you. đ Hope that's ok. I Love your profile photo, it's Precious!
CaroSam Chwa, I can also relate to your empath tendency. That's me too. A friend a few years ago told me what an Empath is. We're all at different levels of sensitivity, but More sensitive than Most people.
( I'm pretty sure we're blessed with a nice intuition about others too--we can read a lot about them just by their body language, tone of voice, behavior, etc.) I feel lucky to be more intuitive, but not always being an empath. Oh well, we feel more, we notice more, and are more compassionate. I'd rather be all of these than not. Hope you are doing great btw. I just found this channel--and I Love it. Sooo informative. He is so intelligent. Refreshing to find.
i hate it because it makes me look vulnerable. but again, i want to understand other people because there are times where they see everybody not understanding what they feel
To be fair, this applies to a lot of people (especially women).
Anyone of you ever feel like you can see your decisions and emotions from an objective, 3rd person perspective?
And then judge yourself based on it.
In other words, I'm talking about an insane level of self-awareness.
Anyone? :p
One of the side effects is an inability to take part in most normal human activities without feeling ridiculous or guilty or immobilized by self awareness. Watching myself watching myself etc... What would an alien from a different planet or dimension think of the activity? Why are we doing this? When did the activity first get started? So many questions to think about. I can't just do something! I have to understand everything about it and decide if it's actually something worth doing or is it hurting someone or something? Is it beautiful or destructive.
Another side effect is referring to other people and myself as human beings and disassociating my consciousness from my physical reality.
How about you?
I try to do that as a way of counselling myself, but sometimes I do it to judge myself :\
Big time
Yep
Yeees!
Honestly, I find INFJs really interesting and lovely. At least all the INFJs I've met are great, and I'm amazed by the way they view the world. I can relate to them to a certain point, but I always thought that they have very unique personality traits. I know that being an INFJ without knowing that you are an INFJ can be frustrating, and they might even feel misunderstood; I wish that more INFJs knew their value.
My english is bad, sorry :]
Your written English is better than many native English speakers; no need to apologise đđ»
About number 10. I feel like the fact that weâre very intuitive we know when a relationship is not going to last or we feel like they donât really love us or feel like is going to end badly so we just avoid that posible relationship.
The thing I hate most about being an INFJ is being so self-aware. Being so hyper aware of how you could be perceived or how you sound is so draining. It feels like everytime I interact with people I have to orchestrate how I present myself or even as Iâm talking Iâm aware of how (insert negative association) Iâm being and feel so uncomfortable about it afterwards
Usuallytooawareofhowlooktoothersiplanwhatillsaytowomenhopingtobefriendlyandfunbutdoesnteveryonedothatijustneverusepickuplinesjustturnonmyfunnysidemakesmerelaxedandlooselovejokingaroundmaybethatsmysecretpower
I wish I had found out I was an INFJ when I was young, and had all these great videos , It would have been nice to know I wasn't alone.
I'm so self-aware that I can diagnose my illnesses. I can feel when things aren't right in my body. Can you too?
Yes! This is the worst, I think about if I am walking normally or if my posture looks okay. In groups of people I never know what to do with my hands.
Nobody has ever criticized me on any of this, but people have said I walk very upright lol
Wow! Same though.
Whatâs a total INFJ thing to say?
âYou know what Iâm sayingâ?
Connie Collims & itâs not a conversation filler lol we actually really are checking if the person(s) understands what the heck we are talking about hahaha
Ya.
Or " Are you hip to my lingo"
đ
This is so true
Oh come on why is this so true
"you know what I mean" - totally me, all the time
OMG THE ONE SIDED RELATIONSHIP HURT. That was so accurate to the point where I was waaaaay to called out đ
The soulmate one killed me in the other way. I love his example đ
Itâs such a different feeling hearing someone explain your life on such a deeply and profoundly accurate way.
It would be interesting for me to meet another INFJ face to face and have a conversation just to see what that feels like.
Omg yes!
Well someone that can actually understand you , can understand why you seem to know a person simple by look at that person and ecc.. Trust me I happened to meet one of my two best friend that is a INFJ like me and it's like sharing a telepath friendship XD , bye ^-^
True! I would like to meet one as a friend but just like you are saying being two INFJs in a relationship might be a bit overwhelming.
I can barely handle myself when Iâm in âphilosophicalâ mode đ€Ș
Me too. I'm looking for one, i'm the only INFJ-INFP among my peers.
Me too, i am searching for one. Anyone?
FJ: "I feel whatever you're feeling right now. What are you feeling right now?"
Me, an INFJ: "uhh...?"
Exactly hahahaha
right that could cause a feedback loop of nothingness we are gona need a third person here
Same
Iâm an INFP whoâs dating an INFJ I think they are the most understanding people Iâve ever met and we can talk about anything without feeling judged
What you talked about regarding the âsocial games that we know how to play - but we still experience things such as anxiety â that resonated with me very much. Itâs hard to describe or put across to people because itâs almost like being manipulative or pulling some strings without them knowing but itâs in their best interest and to make then feel better! You described it well đđŒ
"Hey girl, not cool, but would you like to be my soulmate?" Drag me out on the dance floor, won't ya
I'm totally in hahaha
âtry some new stuffâ really hit me because iâm such a routine person the comfort zone is real with an INFJ but new stuff = constant stress and âwhat if this doesnât work/end wellâ
yess i think this is the reason why i order the same food in the menu
All my relationships are one-sided. Since I realized this, I started giving random and shallow information to my close people like "I think I'm having a breakdown" and seeing their reaction. It hurts to realize that no one really cares. It's not like I expect them to understand what I'm feeling, but sometimes I wish they would at least try.
Lol this is so funny I just did this and it was awful like I knew how it would be handled but the part of me inside wanted it to be him .
That's terrible... I hope you can find people that truly care. If you need to talk I'm here (INFP, btw)
As a 25yo INFJ who still has a lot to learn about setting boundaries, I end up in the one sided relationship thing way too often. Usually what happens is that before I even realize it, the other person starts thinking we're good friends and we have such a great connection, when really it's only me who has connected with them, not the other way around. So I know who they are and they're a nice aquintance, but I'm not interested in being friends with them and they really don't know anything but the surface level of who I am, and yet think I'm their best friend. And it's so painful to be in that situation, because I know they value this "friendship" and would be heartbroken to hear I don't even consider them to be my friend and yet, for my own sanity, I really should tell them they are not as important to me as I am to them. So I hate myself for leading them on, but my extroverted feeling just can't help but be nice and connect to them. And they take and take and take and don't even realize that I am getting nothing in return, and it's so exhausting and I hate that I always end up in situations like that.
Not sure if its just me as an INFJ or other INFJ's but I tend to exaggerate the truth to make people happy and comfortable.
That's the Fe overriding the Ti. ENFJs have a bigger problem with this.
@@idar3703 Holy yes
Yep. I spoil them, according to my son.
What do you mean by this? I'm also INFJ and curious. I do like to tell the truth but I'm not sure if I'm exaggerating it in the first place haha
@@russelalmanzor4056 for example... when someone is telling me how they feel about something, I will lie about my own experiences with a similar situation, so they feel like I understand them...
He said âitâs your girlâ and I almost spit
Lmao I died
Damn I spit a few times during his other video on INFJ
Yep I was like did I just hear that?.
I was looking for this comment đ
@@Tterror510 I read that "and I almost die" đđ
Frank: what is intuition?
*Me literally having premonitory dreams*
Frank James: "Would CZcams like to show a commercial now?"
CZcams: "Yes, indeed."
Extroverted feeling is so exhausting.
IKR
I cannot talk to people without wondering what's in their head and I hate it
Exhausting because we're introvert đ the stress.
I agree
THAT is soooo true
Iâm an infj and I agree with a lot of these things, I feel weird having this intuition when I know certain situations are bad and certain people are bad. I only have 2 friends and Iâve known this people for years. I also donât like loud environments and loud people give me anxiety. I am very aware of my ego and when I catch myself judging people for no reason and sit my self down and ask who am I to judge them. I love listening to people and giving them advice. I also feel like one of the reasons why Iâm in this world is to help and change peopleâs lives. I donât feel like I fit in anywhere and I donât like to show who I am to people I donât know. I also would like to stop holding myself back from doing fun things and being myself completely because I label myself as an âintrovertâ and introverts are supposed to be shy and quiet and pretend theyâre invisible, but I would love to be careless sometimes and live life to the fullest. I could go on and on but I also donât want to waste anyoneâs time...
Then go on! I was reading and you stopped! Give me additional *deets* yyyyeeesssssss
Same time well spent too.
So relatable! And you're not wasting someones time. We are free individuals who can decide whether we want to read more or not and there sure are many who would be willing to read what else you have to say.
@@voices4dayz469 thank you! â„ïž People like you really inspire me to keep writing and give me hope to become a book writer one day.
@@nemoforvermore8085 thank you! This means the world to me as I would love to become a book writer, I just don't have the confidence to do so but people like you give me hope that someone would actually like to read what I have to say and this little bit of reassurance is what keeps my dream aliveâ„ïž
I feel like a lot of people donât understand how sensitive we can be, like itâs something that I physically take on..
You really nailed it with the explanations
We are adept at making other people feel seen, heard, and valued. We're going to read the person we're engaging with, likely going to share something poignant about ourselves that tells the other person that we relate to them (because we can empathize with everyone's perspective), and that is why it feels like we can share intimacy quickly, but we're actually only disclosing enough to make the other person feel valued. Unfortunately, we don't always share enough to feel understood by others and we struggle to understand why others lack intuition which can frustrate us because we want what we are giving without having to ask for it.
I just learned how to be "selfish" and it helps me A LOT
It's actually best thing to be Happy in this net world...i.e.being selfish
How? :(
But how?doesn't it make you have less relationships?I mean I thought about it and realized if I want a relationship with both give and takes at the same amount...I mean is that even possible?can there be someone who cares about you just as much as you care about them?or do they care more AFTER you become more selfish?
Sorry for my bad english and sorry for talking alot...I just suddenly felt like I should write these...
@@ginnybaudelaire8177 yes, in relationship we need to give and take. There is no way a one side relationship. But sometimes as an introverted person with "too much" care for others makes me feel bad and I feel like everyone trying to hurt me. I try to be more selfish and think about what will affect me before I try to help or be kind to other people. If the person is truly care for u I bet he/she will try their best not to hurt you đ
I had a friend teach me a few years ago that ââNoâ is a complete sentence.â I really liked that and it has helped me a lot in setting boundaries
This is why I'm so good at calling plot twist in movies đ
Omg, yes. Sometimes it is kind of annoying to know what is going to happen, but other times it's quite funny. I'll often sit there and say something and then it turns out to be the next line :D
Yeahhhh it feels like I've already seen it, and my family are annoyed because I always tell them what will happen next before it happens.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. JUST A WHILE AGO WHEN I WAS WATCHING CRIMINAL MINDS
So true. My friends complain to me I spoil the movie cuz it turns out Iâm correct almost all the time though weâve never seen the movie
The absorb thing really hit home. One time I was talking to a person with a bad stutter for an extended period of time and I began to stutter periodically. I was so horrified! đ
This is quite accurate. #10 Thirty six years since my husband left me, no boyfriends in all that time, maybe 3 dates (2 different people) in all that time. I don't feel that I missed out on anything. I learned to be just friends to men, no romantic involvement, and I like them better that way. Do I want a soul mate? Yes, but I am reeeeeeelly cautious about that. Being married is no big deal to me, unless it is to the right person. I've been a lot happier single, with nobody nagging me, no man breaking my heart.
the part about dating: FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I GO THROUGH. my psychologist tells me why i don't date or put myself out there. you got it perfectly. and also, it's sooo scary. sometimes i wonder if I'll die alone and i get sad. then i go back to focus on my career and telling myself thats all i need. so sad lol
pettyanon I do this all the time and then start wondering if something is wrong with me loool đ«đ©
I Hope that's going well for you. I don't want to sound too weird, so I'll just quote FJ: Trust yourself. đ
I was thinking about getting a baby from a sperm donor, but then again... What if those genes turn out to be bad??? What am I gonna do with a kid from a person I never knew or truly connected to? It's easier to just go back to being a lawyer. I don't want to die alone though.
This comment came and beat down the door where I live. I really like being close to people (like family and a couple friends) but I always put off anything new because I hate the gamble and prefer a career or personal exploration focus where I get very good results. I really need to stop predicting and just try some things out.
I am so empathic that I am confused what my real personality since I change depends on whom I'm with
Yeah it sucks
I believe we are all chameleons when it's necessary. But it is also exhausting, so re charge, learn from your mistakes and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are the smartest person in the room, whether you went to college, got a Phd. or not, Your intuition will always be your compass and a good one it is.
Snap ..so pissed off with it at the moment..its like being everyone
We are a chameleons...
We are diverse
Iâm so glad to hear you say how odd it is to have a complete stranger suddenly tell you something extremely personal.
In my family we jokingly referred to it as âthe faceâ. About half of us had it, the other half didnât. But found what people would freely disclose was often funny, sometimes heartbreaking, and frankly quite confusing.
Having âthe faceâ caused several problems for me growing up. In particular- my own teachers would confide in me far too often.
The last one hit me the most. I have searched for that soulmate connection my entire life. Thankfully I was able to realize that this is a problem I create and it only makes me miserable. So I had to dig deep and do the self inner work. Dating is hard in 2022, especially for men. It does feel hopeless and impossible to find genuine connection. Most of it does feel like a waste of time but I never stop trying.
Same :' )
Its hard to date for decent people who actually want commitment and a true connection. It isnt a male thing. I gave up after a failed engagement. F everyone. I honestly dont care anymore. I do my thing by myself. Been struggling with a chronic disease but when im better i take myself to the restaurant, movies, etc. I dont need a dead weight on my arm to do it.
I never felt so understood in my life
Does anyone get where you feel like you KNOW whether you'll click with someone or feel comfortable/safe with them within minutes of meeting them? I've done this my whole life. If I don't feel comfortable, I automatically hide many aspects of myself behind a wall as I feel they won't get me.
Mary Davis All the time! :)
â@@cinderling5472 Cool! :D
Yep. I usually know instinctively whether someone is âsafeâ. For many years I ignored my instincts; thinking I was so damaged that I wasnât being rational about others. That has resulted in some traumatic relationships. Being reserved is not a bad thing. I could take a page out of your book. I tend to over-share when Iâm uncomfortable. That can be annoying to others and it definitely results in more anxiety for me. Finding balance can be difficult!
Yes!!!
Yes yes yes, all of the time. When I interview clients for the first time, I just "know" whether it's going to work out or not.
Thank you for speaking the words this INFJ needed to hear about soulmates! "INFJ's Hate Dating!" Haha
Little INFJ story about my first feedback talk in my new job. Normally the most motivated of people prepare by recapping their year and finding things they did well.
Not good enough right?
So I calculated the percentage of my progress in relation to the expected learning process after 12 months, displayed it graphically, thought about all possible arguments from all sides made a PowerPoint presentation about it and got a 30% rise. Because I proved that I was at least 30% overproductive in my learning curve.
Everybody thought I was crazy for this, but I'm the only person that got a rise like that sooooo..... :D 10/10 recommend.
The best moment about it was when my boss asked me the question I prepared weeks for: so do you want to also talk about your salary?"
And I could finally say "very good question, I prepared a little thing"
i think that we can also be possessive and jealous when it comes to our loved ones: we don't get attached easily, but when we do, the attachment is steel strong. we keep our loved ones close to us and guard them jealously.
ace fairy aimei yes!! We donât get close. So when we select someone. They are special. We get clingy. We guard them. Get overbearing. We need to back off đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđđđđđ„°đ„°đ„°đ€đ„đ
ace fairy aimei this has totally been my experience. Jealousy is a really hard one to pick apart and is about the only emotion Iâve struggled with my whole life. Getting there though. Understanding on a deep level who my loved ones are and what keeps them healthy and thriving is how Iâve been able to curb my own jealousy towards my chosen ones being with the non chosen ones. Thank you for pointing this out.
Absolutely!
@@KatHood
I love how you said, our "chosen ones"
I couldn't have said it better. Absolutely agree on this.
you gotta be your own soul mate! the other person is just a bonus. :-)
@retrogradepink YES! Truth is we are All Souls and here we are on a tiny blue dot hurtling through space. All Here, All Mates. I like to think if I don't have what I want, want what I have! Then everything else is chocolate icing on chocolate cake :-) Nummmmmlol!
@@wingwaves940 :-)
I love that!!
Love that!
Sorry, but as an INFJ, that doesn't work for me. I'm old enough now that I completely love myself and have learned to ask my mate when I need some love and cuddles and support. But I cannot be, and would not want to be, happy living alone. We all need support, and trust me, the happiest moments in life are happiest when they are shared. That said, there's no such thing as one soulmate or a perfect soulmate. There are thousands of great matches out there for you. Love yourself first, find what you need to feel confident and stable, then realize you WILL find someone who's worth it.
Life of an INFJ: misunderstood and a lonewolf
The thing with the especially sensitive is when others feelings can make you physically ill.
I just realized; no wonder he's an infj-- he's an INtroverted Frank James
K đ€Š I'll see myself out
Ha
You said it I was just thinking it đ
Or INtuitive Frank James lmao
đđ
Oh Fuck that was clever đ„
Holding my sarcastic comment in.
I'm a INFJ and on the part of being intuitive,...I remember being 5 years old and scared that the other kids could read my thoughts and see what I was thinking telepathically,...I felt like an alien from another world. I was picked on badly in school for being so shy and didn't talk much. I was friends with all the misfits who i could relate to and i would stand up for them if they were ever bullied. Your videos have really helped me to better understand myself and I feel less alone in the world.
When I was younger I wanted to have a computer system that could yield answers to my questions I had about other people. I also posed the Q to my mom asking her if she would want to have a download of information to get a skill rather than the work it requires...she asked me what I've been smoking.
Holy shit I had the exact same experience. I thought the same thing
Rebecca, that is truly awesome.
INFJ here and no joke, Im pretty telepathic.
Ditto
It's like you're telling my story!!
When the interviewer asks "where do you see yourself in 10 years?"
Every word hits me to the point where I also want to help him explain because in the middle of him explaining I already get the point.
When I found out I was an INFJ I asked the most INFJ thing ever.
Why God, WHY?????
I kinda like being an INFJ! itâs like a fun, quirky club.
I ask the same question, too. I feel like it's a curse. đ
When I found out I was an INFJ my response was ... of Course, it all makes sense now ...
lol I was like well yeah I kind of knew that, but WHY didn't I do something with it that could possibly benefit ME?
Finding out Iâm an INFJ at least gave me a point from which I could then begin to orient myself correctly (for me) inside this crazy upside down world which I do NOT easily fit in. Might not be easy, but it IS so worth it. Itâs nice to know Iâm not just a collection of disorders or something else horrible, which WAS what I thought I was before I learned the MBTI thing. I see it as relief and a blessingđ
That said, when I learned about my INFJ title, I sat on the floor and bawled my eyes out in a flurry of so many good, bad and all the emotions in-between. Then I began RESEARCHđ€
When I found out I was an INFJ everything made so much sense with how I never felt I could relate to other people and always felt like an outcast. I still always feel like I donât quite belong here. Why does everyone else have a place when I donât? Itâs something Iâve never quite figured out. One of the biggest things my therapist honed in on for me was to stop thinking about the future. I still canât bring myself to do a lot of stuff cause I donât see it going anywhere so I donât try. I want to be and feel special, but I donât, and I always wonder what thatâs like. It really does feel like Iâm on another plane of existence.
I can relate to the feeling of belonging to a place less than other people around me so so much! I guess, you are not alone on this other plane of existence. And you definitely are special even if you don't feel that way
I feel the same way. Everytime I am anywhere I am day dreaming about being somewhere else. I am never content right where I am.
I feel the samee. I just found out ab personality types today, i start researching what INFJ is, and all. And i found so many people that like myself, i'm not feeling like an weirdo with self diagnose.
First i thought im a depressed teenager with multiple personalities :")))
Im so happy to meet you guys
Thatâs true and relatable. I always thought reaching all my future goals would make me happy, but then another always pops up, and the goal I reached doesnât bring the satisfaction I initially thought it would. Then I realized that Iâm going to waste my life away never feeling satisfied with the place Iâm at and always dreaming of the goal in sight. Happiness isnât in goals or accomplishments or the future. At least for me, itâs about those experiences and true connections with people I actually care about. And doing things that bring me joy, just for myself.
I've felt like this all my life and moved to lots of different countries but never stayed longer than 2 years. Also I've often been told that I'm not normal and should try to change to fit in more. Needless to say that was useless. The feeling of belonging happens when you start finding people similar to yourself.
My mother (89), Textbook extrovert, died. My nephew, the only lawyer my family has managed to produce, magnificently stepped up and arranged for the funeral and for the perfect post-memorial gathering- a lunch at Joe T Garcia's, Mom's favorite local restaurant, to be served to anyone who showed up; no invitation required - about 40 people were served in a cafeteria-style line, ate Tex-Mex, ambled from one table to another. laughed and joked. It was absolutely perfect for her; Mom surely would have loved it and everyone there knew it. I was miserable.
The only friends I talk to are the ones inside my head.
I don't know if this is necessarily an INFJ thing or 'secret', but I recently noticed that if there is someone I am interested in, I will start to behave differently depending on what I think will draw that person's attention to me. This way, I try to get this person to come up to me instead. I wouldn't say my behaviour is necessarily 'fake' though; I am just channeling a part of me that may sometimes not be in the foreground. For example, if a person is very logical-minded, I will draw on my more logical side as well to get them to focus on me in a group. Once I've got them one on one, I will show them more of my other sides too, which will then hopefully come as a pleasant surprise and leaves them intrigued.
I don't know if you would consider this manipulation, but it's the only strategy that often works in which I don't have to boldly go up to someone that I am interested in. Anyone else here who does this?
I don't think that's manipulation because like you said you are drawing on one facet of you and not only that, ultimately. Sounds like a natural way of going about things.
@@nashiPAGE sounds more "tactful" to me. Manipulation seems like using or trying to alter people as you would objects. Tactful is more like "what's the best way?"
Yup! I do it too-unconsciously actually. I'm imagining it's a part of our "chameleon-like" superpowersđ€
@@AudaciousErin82Baby I also noticed this! It's a cool part of our personality :D
Great observation :D
"INFJ's can absorb other people's emotion"
Me an INFJ: *rolls eyes*
đ đ đ
I do, but I can turn it off.
luckily we are also good at building walls/bubbles/distance around our true selves lol It's fine to observe and take in other people's emotions but don't forget that they aren't your emotions and do not have to weigh on you.
@@toria9799 samee heheh
I did the same thing! Haha
INFJs, you are amazing. Your capacity to see the world deeply, with compassion and sensitivity, it's what makes you strong. You are resilient, brave and kind. You all are indispensable on this desorganized and cahotic world, you can offer a lot (sometimes you offer too much, don't forget about take care of yourselves and if you need space and you have to disappear from time to time, don't feel guilty). You're stars, you're love, you're like magic fairies that, although sometimes (unfortunately) they may go unnoticed, they are always there for others, always. Don't foreget to be selfish. You don't have to satisfy anyone's needs, only yours. You deserve to be loved without proof. Because you are love.
Brilliant clip. I know exactly what you mean about the younger INFJ trying to help too many friends and family at once. I used to do this and ended up spreading myself too thin being left with no energy for me and my life. I've had to learn to put up boundaries. The dating part made me laugh, but sad as I know it all too well. I definitely have the same unrealistic dream wishing it would be like a film and all happen so naturally, but in reality it's just a few happy moments followed by disappointment when I learn they were not who I thought they were. I think its like we want a soul mate so much, that when someone comes along eventually we only see what we want at first and romanticize. Then as soon as they do something or say something we don't like we snap out of it and boom its over. I do think its my fault in the past for looking for the good in them too much, rather than seeing them and taking them for what they really are. We can basically read everyone great except our date! Also I can talk to anyone, but if i like them I'm terrible as I over think everything I say to them to the max!!!
INFJ parents totally understand "we are not raising kids but adults". đ
Iâm totally guilty of this đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
My sister is an INFJ and after watching your video I feel so sad. Iâve always felt the need to protect her from the world bc she is unique. Now after watching this if anyone hurts her I might eat their souls and Iâm an ENTP btw..
She must be so happy to have you..im proud of you ..đâšâš
She's so lucky :)
how sweet of you. both of you are sure precious to this world. đ€
Aweeđ hope my sis too understands me better đ
as an INFJ, I am near to cry bc of your kindness, hope and wish u live long and happy.
When you said, "when you're thinking in the future all the time..." you sort of were glaring into the camera as if to say, "hey, I'm talking to YOU." LOL!
Something I have noticed over my 70+ yrs -We may feel we cannot relate to others but others often feel they can relate to us-One of those weird INFJ traits that we all get if you catch my drift!
The second point relates to why Iâm ~always~ so interested in reading what others think of books/movies/series I enjoy. Half the fun for me is digging through post after post of opinions and interpretations đ
Unless there is a ridiculous amount of comments I read nearly every single one and the replies, on a search for every view and hidden nugget of truth.
Bro this is truee
aluckyshot Whoa, me too!! I spend more time reading comments sections than the material/videos themselves. Used to have a Word doc collecting the funniest or most insightful ones I came across đ
McKenzie Taylor , ikr! I get a vid with comments disabled and im so disappointed.
Absorbing other's emotions makes me drained so much energy, I always tired.
Same thatâs why I hate socialising and tend to ghost people
I pick up peopleâs pain. Not everyone but some. I changed careers because of it. It wasnât a bad change as it got me to quiet art. I mentioned it to family who just thought I was weird or something. In spending time on CZcams the last two years I watched videos on empaths and finally found my way here. Iâm grateful for your insight.