INFJ Depression & the Evil Ni-Ti Loop

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  • čas pƙidĂĄn 21. 04. 2018
  • The Ni-Ti loop is the unique aspect of INFJ depression. This is perhaps the most fun video about depression you will see today.
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    Part 2, or the extended version, of the video: ‱ Why INFJs make the bes...
    Bibliography:
    DaveSuperPowers, "Thinking Te vs Ti"
    ‱ Thinking Te vs Ti
    Further viewing:
    Tom Davison, "INFJ Depression, it sucks!"
    ‱ INFJ Depression, it su...
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    #INFJ #MBTI #16Personalities #MyersBriggs

Komentáƙe • 2,5K

  • @FrankJames
    @FrankJames  Pƙed 5 lety +159

    🔮 Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ czcams.com/video/AwATt5_nXNM/video.html ⭐
    ✹ Struggling and need help? Consider connecting with a licensed therapist at my sponsor, BetterHelp. Get 10% off at betterhelp.com/frankjames

    • @YourWingmam
      @YourWingmam Pƙed 5 lety +5

      Frank James do you have friends now?

    • @ShadySaanz
      @ShadySaanz Pƙed 5 lety +5

      I consider him my friend.
      Friends are meant to help eachother and the amount of knowledge he has passed on has helped me to better myself. Never met him but If
      MA GIRL FJ
      needs a homie, i gottem

    • @thijsjong
      @thijsjong Pƙed 5 lety +4

      Tears for Fears reference. :)

    • @jerrenew.1557
      @jerrenew.1557 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      I would love to chat with you any time, your so sweet. I get in my head so very much! Thanks

    • @tabithagracechristiaan2325
      @tabithagracechristiaan2325 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Thank you for your videos about 'us'...

  • @CarlosRodriguez-nu5gj
    @CarlosRodriguez-nu5gj Pƙed 4 lety +2824

    Realizing that every INFJ is here for the same reason.... We all need to get tf out the house and do some random activities.

    • @juliancraft4503
      @juliancraft4503 Pƙed 4 lety +61

      Never agreed with anyone more.

    • @Cptjonmiller
      @Cptjonmiller Pƙed 4 lety +47

      Actually, I was barely at home all the time. It didn't really help much. Sure it helped me feel better, but the specific that I have no control over, really just gets to me.

    • @joserobles4875
      @joserobles4875 Pƙed 4 lety +23

      Try working out and a martial art. I recommend Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

    • @joserobles4875
      @joserobles4875 Pƙed 4 lety +12

      It’s literally the best thing ever helps me a lot when I am emotionally exhausted.

    • @Gurnoor544
      @Gurnoor544 Pƙed 4 lety +20

      It's fucking cold out there....

  • @KenPotter
    @KenPotter Pƙed 4 lety +1522

    Here's my LOOP: I do less than 1% of the talking. I wait to have something interesting to say... then get interrupted again. Then ponder why I even try to communicate with anyone.

    • @HandleDisliker
      @HandleDisliker Pƙed 4 lety +131

      ...And then when we do manage to get our point across there's that pause, and then they either come up with that brief counter argument or pretend we don't exist.

    • @veramariecano289
      @veramariecano289 Pƙed 4 lety +15

      Bingo!

    • @maddart4445
      @maddart4445 Pƙed 4 lety +14

      Ooooooo I hate that

    • @maddart4445
      @maddart4445 Pƙed 4 lety +41

      Why do people feel the need to talk so much?

    • @dylon8425
      @dylon8425 Pƙed 4 lety

      Go watch Tim dillon

  • @deepimpactsun4372
    @deepimpactsun4372 Pƙed 4 lety +1472

    Bunch of INFJ in a room together:
    Constant analogies

    • @HandleDisliker
      @HandleDisliker Pƙed 4 lety +39

      Hey, just because we're like a bunch of Aesops it doesn't mean we use analogies all the time :P

    • @pirjocheerio4016
      @pirjocheerio4016 Pƙed 4 lety +10

      My peeps! 😂😂😂

    • @MrGriff305
      @MrGriff305 Pƙed 4 lety +8

      I heard limited analogies and no examples. Examples would've helped.

    • @axelperezmachado5008
      @axelperezmachado5008 Pƙed 4 lety +25

      @@HandleDisliker I love the irony of how comparing us to Aesops is an analogy in itself

    • @Stephanpar23
      @Stephanpar23 Pƙed 4 lety +24

      Lol an endless chant of "But that's like...."

  • @abundantlife888
    @abundantlife888 Pƙed 4 lety +1215

    As an INFJ, I never want to be a drain on anyone by letting them know when I am depressed. Also, do not want to be where I’m not wanted and appreciated. Any others have these feelings?

    • @faznaz7455
      @faznaz7455 Pƙed 4 lety +23

      Absolutely and eventually i had the bravery to talk to my best friend about it and he said to open up to more people to make your experience more comfortable. It's more manageable when you talk to good listeners as well.

    • @stoneghost2936
      @stoneghost2936 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Aye , i do

    • @janey1232
      @janey1232 Pƙed 4 lety +18

      I understand that... I also never wanted to be a burden to people by talking about my problems. what I realized is that when a friend of mine is down if rather have them talk to me and "bother me" with it than suffer alone. maybe they feel the same way about me?
      what I told myself to finally accept help was that I always wanna help people. but if I always keep all my problems to myself and try only helping others without accepting help for myself once in a while I'll burn out. I'll come to a point where I won't be able to help anyone anymore because I'll be so burned out and broken. that doesn't help anyone in the long run. so maybe it's better to accept help and be a "burden" to others once in a while but then be okay again and be able to help them.
      that how I tricked myself out of thinking that when I talk about my problems I am a burden to others... maybe it helps you, too.
      another thing is I think with having fe we see other people's emotions and react to them. we understand what energy other people bring to a room and then adapt to make the overall vibe better. but we are people, too, we also have our own energy, and we have the same right as anyone else to bring that energy into a room. it is okay to sometimes expect other people to adapt to the energy you bring to the room

    • @thatsfunny2051
      @thatsfunny2051 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      Yep! Have it right now

    • @missj7262
      @missj7262 Pƙed 4 lety +5

      Absofuxkinglutely

  • @jeremytq
    @jeremytq Pƙed 4 lety +1581

    “When I’m depressed, I just go to CZcams....” HAH, that’s exactly how I got here, and it works every time.

    • @amy-louisesnelling379
      @amy-louisesnelling379 Pƙed 4 lety +33

      Jeremy Turnquist Yuuuup, that’s why we’re all here, right? Distract, Distract, Distract.

    • @jax4652
      @jax4652 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Whoops.

    • @destielsimpala7738
      @destielsimpala7738 Pƙed 4 lety +22

      Me too. Keeping my mind occupied keeps me from taking any depressing thoughts too far, so CZcams/Netflix helps.

    • @liavierra3696
      @liavierra3696 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      LMAO Metoo!!!! That's my type (Saweetie song)

    • @JaneDoe-sz9oy
      @JaneDoe-sz9oy Pƙed 4 lety +2

      I fall in the trap of smoking weed when I am depressed, I like it the first gew days and later regret doing it. I recognize the pattern but I still haven't concurred the weed smoking. The periods of smoking are getting shorter, so guess that is good.

  • @Kendorable
    @Kendorable Pƙed 5 lety +480

    "I just want someone to distract me" BOOM. That's all I ever want when I'm depressed.

    • @danidino1645
      @danidino1645 Pƙed 4 lety +11

      Same. Why is so hard for others to understand?

    • @chileanguyfleegman1908
      @chileanguyfleegman1908 Pƙed 2 lety +1

      As an ISTP with an INFJ friend, I really like this comment. Feels like I can do something to help.

  • @randallyoung96
    @randallyoung96 Pƙed 4 lety +853

    You're my best friend now. There's no escape.

  • @cartermortensen1260
    @cartermortensen1260 Pƙed 4 lety +397

    I felt the "I have no friends to talk to"

  • @lesas5483
    @lesas5483 Pƙed 5 lety +763

    I’m a INFJ and the only person who I could talk to who really understood me was my Dad, who was also an INFJ. He passed away. He used to distract me by saying busy hands are happy hands and get me going on a project.

    • @trappedinsideafigure8
      @trappedinsideafigure8 Pƙed 4 lety +41

      Aww. I'm sorry for you're loss.

    • @missparadoxa3905
      @missparadoxa3905 Pƙed 4 lety +48

      I’m so very sorry for your loss.. I’m an INFJ who’s also lost her father, the only person I could talk to about some really important things, and I know that it leaves a massive hole.
      But we’ll be okay. I believe in us and you!

    • @veramariecano289
      @veramariecano289 Pƙed 4 lety +24

      Start sketching, painting, anything requiring movement. It circulates the blood to nourish and heal the mind and body. Oxygen is distributed to the brain - clarity. Dopamine is released, to feel good.

    • @KingPravum
      @KingPravum Pƙed 4 lety +10

      I lost so much i couldn't tell...i feel nothing anymore.. i am the last one of my bloodline.. i was alone from start.. my mother was taking drugs since i was a kid... and my father was away before i could start thinking.. there was only my grandmother and uncle that was there for me..and we lived in our family house all together.. the house was build from my family 120 years ago... after everyone died before i was 27 i lost the house...my dog after 15 years was dead..i lost my job because i was in not so good shape after beeing complete alone but i it was my fault because i couldn't say why i am in not so good shape... i don't know why..i hate it to say people hey my familyis dead and pls have merci with me...i lost my love for so many times i stopped counting..and something happened to me... something was changed...i stopped looking for my love. ..i stopped looking for job...i stopped looking for a house...it has all become meaningless to me...everything you build up it will be destroyed without any reason...i had enough that anything always changed.. I always had some abilities that allowed me to do what i want and when i want... i started to use my abilties to create my own world...and now i dont need to work for the rest od my life...i have all the time in the world that i want... i achieved everything after i stopped feeling... now i am 30 years old and there is nothing i could not buy... nothing i could not do .. and i just sit in my house on my couch with my dog...i don't need any more... meanwhile this world is just a big joke for me :) if there would be war directly in my town i would start laughing :) because you would must accept it.. like a mother must learn to accept to lost her child... or a young man can not use his legs any more...or youre complete family dies before youre even 30 and youre betrayed by everything... acception is about everything... it is the secret of life...

    • @exozen_tytrack598
      @exozen_tytrack598 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Sorry for your loss.. but Thank you very much for sharing the advice.. I always tend to slip into my imagination... 'busy hands are happy hands' thank you😊

  • @uruuuuocean
    @uruuuuocean Pƙed 3 lety +313

    i feel like we infjs are a family, i love you guys😔

    • @Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes
      @Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes Pƙed 2 lety +11

      💙 Feel it too. Happy and sad in same time. Thanks internet exist, to gather people interested by the same topic. We are together in the abstract web. Being understood : tears of happiness.

    • @Laurenconblaine
      @Laurenconblaine Pƙed 2 lety +8

      We love you too đŸ–€

    • @sparklenights5421
      @sparklenights5421 Pƙed 2 lety +4

      we love you to :(

    • @adjustedlenses3507
      @adjustedlenses3507 Pƙed 2 lety +3

      Love you too bro😘

    • @jyotivarma123
      @jyotivarma123 Pƙed 2 lety +4

      Love u my Infj family

  • @brynleyjones2674
    @brynleyjones2674 Pƙed 4 lety +96

    Infjs are equally blessed and cursed

  • @hannahswann492
    @hannahswann492 Pƙed 4 lety +351

    INFJ: even when you have friends to talk to (which is rare), you’re still reluctant to do it because you feel like your depression and your problems are a burden. But you’re right about extraverted feeling when you’re depressed. It’s like the faucet that lets everything poor out. Find a really good understanding friend and talk it out. Even if you can’t completely articulate whats goin on in your head, even if you feel like your friend doesn’t completely understand. Just talk and release that tension into the air. 🧡

    • @kimmietalks9632
      @kimmietalks9632 Pƙed 3 lety +8

      Nobody ever fully understands us unless they are INFJ too I hope non of my kids will be an INFJ it's tough growing up especially in Africa

    • @SeldimSeen1
      @SeldimSeen1 Pƙed 2 lety +4

      I don't tell Co-workers about my personal life or feelings ever. Rarely with my own close friends or family.

    • @claystahl7002
      @claystahl7002 Pƙed 2 lety

      Everyvidioexplanseonemoreofmyproblemssoexactlyfindingoutaboutallthishaschangedmeifeeljustright

    • @mansikadel0907
      @mansikadel0907 Pƙed 4 měsĂ­ci

      You know you sometimes try to do that, say people out everything u r feeling in the best way u can.... but nobody understands, they think we r jst stupids and causing this problem on ourselves.....and even if u dont feel like burden before, some words may make u feel like that.... and then u dont talk anymore and they still say why dont u try to communicate ? Like wtf?!?!

  • @MT-ij2mh
    @MT-ij2mh Pƙed 6 lety +703

    Modern life is very isolating and the sense of dislocation is real and frightening. We weren't designed to be rootless in crowded cities. There is a price to pay for the excessive individualism and materialism of modern society.

    • @ashamazon2262
      @ashamazon2262 Pƙed 6 lety +7

      Yes! So true

    • @LadyIarConnacht
      @LadyIarConnacht Pƙed 5 lety +32

      So true. I grew up on a country homestead, and have always felt so sad and disconnected since I left. Now I'm back living on a small homestead again, and I feel so much more connected just by being around the trees and grass, the seasons, even the neighbors.

    • @MadAboutBrows
      @MadAboutBrows Pƙed 5 lety +18

      Individuality and indivuduation can be great, but isolation is harming. I grew up as an only child in a 'big city' - and I grew up with a strong sense of self, the ability to keep myself entertained, and the pleasure of enjoying my own company. It's not all bad...

    • @prometheanevent
      @prometheanevent Pƙed 5 lety +11

      Melissa T - I understand the arguments for social interaction but, as an INFJ, I’m definitely not into compulsory socialization. I don’t know for sure if that’s a proclivity of INFJs in general but I really resent the assumption by some that people who are more individualistic are somehow not behaving properly or are “selfish” for not cooperating with other people’s drummer.
      As for materialism, we are all “materialistic” the minute we crave an article of food. We all choose what “material” suits us best. For me it’s books and art. For others it may be kitsch plastic appliances from Walmart.
      ...different strokes for different folks.

    • @AsmaaSabiri
      @AsmaaSabiri Pƙed 5 lety

      I like you Melissa

  • @tiffany6173
    @tiffany6173 Pƙed 6 lety +1034

    I just want to kiss your brain! You are amazing at explaining how complex the INFJ works. We are simple on surface but inside we are layers on layers of layers. You can talk to me! I totally get it. 😊😘

    • @retrozvoc6189
      @retrozvoc6189 Pƙed 4 lety +11

      The reason the internet still has a purpose and a good sense to it is that one can say something like this without being bashed as a total weirdo. I truly wish one day we'll all be able to be fully free to express our humble joy like this without waving flags and having crusader armors but by simply being what we truly are without any sociopolitical bias such as "friendship love doesn't exist, it's all romance and sex" and "you're 'normal' or you're for the asylum" and other heresies such as "you're a gay/lesbian or have a girlfriend/boyfriend" or "what kind of a boy/girl are you who just plays with dolls/cars? you must change your gender now!". The world needs friendship love and we need to disseminate it from the extremism of puritanism and sexualization. Have a read on this article, it is super reassuring: thefederalist.com/2015/12/28/how-to-stop-sexualizing-everything/

    • @Jessieklinks
      @Jessieklinks Pƙed 4 lety +1

      Thanks😄too.

    • @baongoctran2592
      @baongoctran2592 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      You save my life Frank James, truly thankful for that.

    • @DrVein
      @DrVein Pƙed 4 lety +13

      Layers like an onion? So Shrek was an INFJ.
      Everything makes sense now.

    • @hypesm2379
      @hypesm2379 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      when I was listening to music
      its on peak and I had a visionand feeling about Im riding a hyper car, the weather is bit raining.
      someone pls enlighten me

  • @jainasolo50
    @jainasolo50 Pƙed 4 lety +557

    I’ve never heard somebody describe my depression so well. Like literally...

    • @zayneclark3771
      @zayneclark3771 Pƙed 4 lety +14

      Same here. I've battled depression since I was twelve, maybe younger and trying to sort out my thought process has taken me several years! Videos like this help.

    • @sansnitizer
      @sansnitizer Pƙed 4 lety +3

      @@zayneclark3771 I am twelve and i am an infp / infj.. idk this one maybe you can reply to this..

    • @sansnitizer
      @sansnitizer Pƙed 4 lety +2

      An INTP told me that..

    • @zayneclark3771
      @zayneclark3771 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      @@sansnitizer what is your question exactly? I'd be happy to answer If I knew what you were asking.

    • @sansnitizer
      @sansnitizer Pƙed 4 lety +2

      @@zayneclark3771 don't mind it, i already find the answer, it's inside me.

  • @nmjr547
    @nmjr547 Pƙed 4 lety +398

    Hardest things I've had to accept in my life so far: Not everything makes sense. Not everything will fit in my mental schemes. Some things do not have an answer. Life can be unfair. And that's okay.
    P.S. WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, FRANK. Don't be stubborn.

    • @johnhanigosky4085
      @johnhanigosky4085 Pƙed 4 lety +9

      Nicole M. Jiménez Rosario this is the most honest insight about this phenomena I have read from an INFJ-thank you
      I do not think Ti serves the INFJ as a third function very well, at least naturally and relative to other types and their third function. It takes time to reach your revelation in a way that’s relevant and profound...
      INFJs are a big ball of Ni except Ni can be susceptible to bullshit that fills in the gaps of hunches based on weak sensory data. INFJs have to develop and rely on Ni because they have a hard time being overwhelmed with sensory reality. Then they filter this bullshit through Fe looking for socially harmonious standards of judgement. It’s like in Jurassic Park when they want dinosaurs to exist, but they’re missing a DNA sequence, so they borrow DNA from frogs and make dinosaurs thinking they’re all females, but then they can change sex, breed and kill people
      Yup, just like that
      The problem is Ti comes into play AFTERWARDS. Ti is meant to be a no bullshit extrapolation and emotional bias detector which is exactly what it follows in the INFJ. So, it ends up manifesting itself to the initiated as a form of confirmation bias. In other words, they logic out and rationalize their own bullshit and or look for evidence to support their position even when there are perfectly good explanations for what happened or what should happen instead. Or worse, no clear explanation. It’s so anti-Ti, it’s not funny. I feel for you
      Okay, so you might think all types have this same 3rd function dilemma: not really to the same degree. Take the INTP and ENFP for example:
      The INTP lives for Ti accuracy and clarity, then manipulates and modifies ideas through Ne, then looks for benchmarks with Si for a sense of confirmation. In this flow, Si will almost always improve accuracy and clarity because it is searching for details or a known corollary to abstract back to the original idea; thus, it serves the primary function appropriately. It may have some drawbacks, but the net/net is positive and fitting
      Now, take the ENFP and Te. Te is really only used to assert something that works and has some utility. ENFPs just want to do anything they like with Ne and Fi. Te certainly isn’t going to stop them so much, and in fact, might be more likely to embolden them to assert their zany Ne and Fi; thus, it serves the primary function appropriately. It might create other problems, but it still serves their primary purpose positively
      You could make the argument though that Ti could serve Fe well. They are polar opposites: Fe is about acceptance, harmony and consistency; Ti is about questioning, distrust and flaws. In order to amplify one, you have to soften the other
      You have to let go

    • @nmjr547
      @nmjr547 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      @@johnhanigosky4085 Very well explained and good advice. Thank you.

    • @lunastariaspiritdiva8662
      @lunastariaspiritdiva8662 Pƙed 4 lety +4

      @@johnhanigosky4085 This is why I need to be with an INTJ, my thoughts and feelings don't always make any rational logical sense >

    • @TheWorldsStage
      @TheWorldsStage Pƙed 4 lety +3

      EVERYTHING is connected, EVERYTHING has an answer. We just haven't found it. Yet.

    • @stevienguyen2047
      @stevienguyen2047 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      Also I would add karma doesn’t exist (imo). I’ve accepted the fact bad things will happen to good people, good things will happen to bad people. Life ain’t fire. Accept it.

  • @InsomniacRavyn
    @InsomniacRavyn Pƙed 4 lety +700

    I need another INFJ in my life because just hearing this makes me feel so understood. He puts it in a way that I could never explain but its so perfect, and everything is so accurate.

    • @dafaazka102
      @dafaazka102 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      have you found one online?

    • @InsomniacRavyn
      @InsomniacRavyn Pƙed 4 lety +3

      @@dafaazka102 nope

    • @dafaazka102
      @dafaazka102 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      @@InsomniacRavyn lauren, could you guess this one's type? czcams.com/video/A47lIox5yn8/video.html

    • @missparadoxa3905
      @missparadoxa3905 Pƙed 4 lety +6

      This may be really weird and out of nowhere, but honestly if you feel like it, hit me up. I’ll gladly welcome a fellow INFJ into my life!

    • @InsomniacRavyn
      @InsomniacRavyn Pƙed 4 lety +6

      @@missparadoxa3905 i totally would, but i am seriously bad at the whole online friends thing. I usually end up completely forgetting about them😅

  • @bunnyoncloud
    @bunnyoncloud Pƙed 2 lety +48

    As an INFJ, I discovered that i need to be my own best friend first, cause I deserve this friendship before any one else.. be your own soul mate 🙂 love your self, accept your flaws, forgive yourself, heal your childhood wounds đŸ€

  • @mariefritzke9851
    @mariefritzke9851 Pƙed 4 lety +112

    I was 6 years in therapy with like ten different therapists. You gave me the explanation I was looking for in just ten minutes. Man, that's magic.

    • @dianec1595
      @dianec1595 Pƙed rokem +7

      everyone is in on keeping you sick, I sought out counseling too only to find out it was everyone else who is crazy and not me, today, I walk with my head high and undefeated, knowledge is power and we can never be defeated because of it

    • @reveygray
      @reveygray Pƙed rokem +6

      Literally soo true!!! Myers-Briggs personalities is a life saver to my life

  • @vixikie
    @vixikie Pƙed 3 lety +73

    I have felt misunderstood my whole life but looking up the INFJ Ni-To Loop I finally feel understood and it is such a relief. I don't have any friends (not even one) so instead I make myself feel better and to distract myself with listening to music, writing down my feelings in a journal, reading, watching CZcams videos for hours and day dreaming about random stuff.

    • @Bhlisse
      @Bhlisse Pƙed rokem +4

      You just described my life.... hugs from France 😊

    • @saoirsemaimcmahon10
      @saoirsemaimcmahon10 Pƙed 7 měsĂ­ci

      Haha same bro

    • @e.e5377
      @e.e5377 Pƙed 2 měsĂ­ci

      We may be complete strangers, but if youre ever having an absolutely awful time reply to me here. I may not be able to help, but at the very least ill listen. Wishing you love ❀

  • @YeshuaEllisLamb
    @YeshuaEllisLamb Pƙed 6 lety +362

    We do bbq like its nobodies business.

    • @Dustin1047
      @Dustin1047 Pƙed 6 lety +8

      Joshua Lamb Why are we so awesome at BBQ??

    • @MCJOHNSON95
      @MCJOHNSON95 Pƙed 5 lety +25

      Dustin Ebaugh because we make sure everyone has everything they need and make people feel comfortable

    • @samhughes6125
      @samhughes6125 Pƙed 5 lety +6

      AHHH BBQ! I am starving!! Haha

    • @DaUnaDistanza
      @DaUnaDistanza Pƙed 5 lety +6

      your comment is perfect. lol

    • @revenant777x8
      @revenant777x8 Pƙed 5 lety +2

      Amen to that! I make my own delmonico steak burgers that are complete tastebud overdrive.

  • @kamikabrown14
    @kamikabrown14 Pƙed 6 lety +81

    No friends...thats our complex man .. We r loving and caring to every one else but no reciprocation ... I find it hard to make true friends anymore to share w so i dnt get stuck n that loop

  • @jessicah3450
    @jessicah3450 Pƙed 4 lety +145

    Sometimes I forget that my head is connected to the rest of my body. Practicing self care and going into nature brings me out of depression cycles. Distraction is good medicine too.
    I can make every therapist cry. I don't mean to. I just share my inner thoughts and torturous isolation with them. To me understanding the abyss also means falling into it from time to time. It's always a learning experience in the end. We're not meant to be happy all of the time.

    • @lunastariaspiritdiva8662
      @lunastariaspiritdiva8662 Pƙed 4 lety +7

      The INFJ's Demonic Function, the Dark Side ESTP is terrible, I make my own parents cry... I tear apart people ~ We're frightening to people ~
      Honestly, people think ESTP is bad when its broken, INFJ is out-right terrifying, we're really seriously dark and scary when we're angry and hurt ~

    • @GOWRISHANKKAR1
      @GOWRISHANKKAR1 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Hey. A non-infj here. But I have two depressed infj friends. And I have gone through depression myself, and I'm similar enough to INFJs (I'm an INFP) that I understand. If you want someone to talk to, please go to instagram and text @altruistic.soul . And don't worry, you guys, I'm not a serial killer. But I myself need someone to talk to, so please drop in and say hi, and we can talk.

    • @GOWRISHANKKAR1
      @GOWRISHANKKAR1 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      I just wanna help people...even though I don't know any of you guys, it still hurts to just read about your depression...please do talk to me. I don't wanna seem creepy. But yeah, I want someone to talk to, as well. And talking to strangers is always easier.

    • @businessisboomin7252
      @businessisboomin7252 Pƙed 2 lety

      @@GOWRISHANKKAR1 even Ur PFP is sad....damn
      I'm here I guess

  • @mad_world4481
    @mad_world4481 Pƙed 4 lety +33

    INFJ: thought I'm the only one without friends and distract myself watching funny videos to break the loop ....

  • @poppystils974
    @poppystils974 Pƙed 6 lety +375

    People don't know the lack of real communication men go through. Women have other women who will listen to all their issues but men, on a subconscious level (even by our parents) are told to stop complaining, get on with it...man up! Men need to listen to other men more when it comes to emotions and stop gettng so uncomfortable with negative emotions.

    • @ineffablewonder
      @ineffablewonder Pƙed 6 lety +51

      While I agree there's disproportionate acceptance of what men & women can talk about with their gender group, I don't think Ni-Ti loop is any worse for a male because of it. As a female, I feel just as uncomfortable expressing painful emotion/talking through anything difficult as much as - if not more than - any male. I was a very sensitive child who would cry at the drop of a hat or whose day could be ruined by the minutest of things, so "get over it" and "why are you crying?" are prominent memories from childhood LOL. And disclaimer - I don't think it's because my parents were abusive or uncaring; I believe they really didn't understand why I was so sensitive or know how to help a kid who internalized e v e r y thing.

    • @suzsiz
      @suzsiz Pƙed 6 lety +85

      it's no t true. Not all women have that. I sure dont. Many women are shallow and dont want to talk about deep issues and are just as scared of feelings as men.

    • @poppystils974
      @poppystils974 Pƙed 6 lety +24

      I'm not saying some women don't have the same issue, but I wouldn't say a majority do. Like a woman can break down and cry with her female friend, she can go through a breakup and have a female friend help her through it. Men, we mostly just have other male friends who just clam up when confronted with that kind of emotion. It makes them seriously uncomfortable and will just try and get us drunk and laid or something. So for the most part men bottle up the trauma, we've even been taught to do it to ourselves. Many men are so detached from their own feelings because that's what's been programmed into us as children. This is how many men get mental health issues, and why the suicide epidemic for men is so high. Men need to stop rejecting their own negative emotions.

    • @poppystils974
      @poppystils974 Pƙed 6 lety +12

      Why is it so much easier for women to cry than men? Crying is so healthy, even doing it alone, it gets the pain out. Yet men have a hard time doing it, why? Because of a voice in our heads that says 'don't cry, pussy'. Where did that come from? More men to learn to cry. Sob. get into the fetal position and wail! Do It! It's good for you. Even doing it alone.

    • @poppystils974
      @poppystils974 Pƙed 6 lety +10

      Thing is, a woman being seen as vulnerable isn't half as bad as man being seen that. From a male perspective, we actually find a woman more lovable when she's vulnerable like that. But let's be real, a woman seeing a man like that is a big turn off. Big difference.

  • @dusanvuckovic1749
    @dusanvuckovic1749 Pƙed 6 lety +283

    It is hard to be INFJ, but if I would choose, I would choose again to be INFJ :) I think that it is privilegia to see world totaly cleen like we see

    • @allisonkent7098
      @allisonkent7098 Pƙed 5 lety +9

      Me too! Wouldn't change it for any other type.

    • @prashant.singh.7775
      @prashant.singh.7775 Pƙed 4 lety +3

      Yea!! Its been rough for me recently.... but still i totally agree on " I think that it is privilegia to see world totaly cleen like we see "

    • @rokk7136
      @rokk7136 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      I would change

    • @malazforever8222
      @malazforever8222 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      I would choose to be an ESTJ

    • @sam7r4833
      @sam7r4833 Pƙed 4 lety +4

      I'd rather be an ESTJ /ENTJ or any extrovert type it's all about networking and socializing in that world we live in

  • @hope-sharma
    @hope-sharma Pƙed 4 lety +71

    As an INFJ battling with depression, I relate to this.

    • @dianec1595
      @dianec1595 Pƙed rokem +1

      join yoga, breathing and meditation has saved me from so much evil that is happening in America

  • @raigensumrall8028
    @raigensumrall8028 Pƙed 4 lety +63

    your casual tears for fears reference was something that would instantly make me want to be best friends with you

    • @carol-ri4ms
      @carol-ri4ms Pƙed 2 lety +1

      Exactly. I laughed way too hard and then laughed at how hard I laughed. Laughing is the secret weapon that breaks my loop.

  • @klatskyn
    @klatskyn Pƙed 5 lety +106

    "Meanwhile, I'm dead inside."
    Yep, sounds about right :D That's like my mantra.

    • @AwakenOhSleeperGaming
      @AwakenOhSleeperGaming Pƙed 5 lety +1

      Widmark ::: We should start a club. Lol

    • @GOWRISHANKKAR1
      @GOWRISHANKKAR1 Pƙed 3 lety

      Hey. A non-infj here. But I have two depressed infj friends. And I have gone through depression myself, and I'm similar enough to INFJs (I'm an INFP) that I understand. If you want someone to talk to, please go to instagram and text @altruistic.soul . And don't worry, you guys, I'm not a serial killer. But I myself need someone to talk to, so please drop in and say hi, and we can talk.

  • @maroangel8525
    @maroangel8525 Pƙed 5 lety +60

    in general, depression comes when we lose our goal(including unconscious goal) or blocked by wall.
    so your analyzing is right too.
    once we get into that condition
    1. we need to take a rest for our brain. it's the brain error.
    2. don't think. just watch movie or sleep or exercise.
    3. when you get feel better, analyse your problem.
    4. set short-term goal or adjust long-term goal and go forward
    depression is our friend.
    if we can't feel depression, we would be satisfied with our current state forever.

  • @marianajem
    @marianajem Pƙed 4 lety +45

    "Caught in your own head" that's absolutely how I feel, I obsess and yes in my "fantasy world" and I get myself to a dark place or if I want to NOT handle something I go to my inner world and dissociate.

  • @anniejayy9559
    @anniejayy9559 Pƙed 4 lety +57

    Keep in mind depression is fundamentally different from sadness. Someone who is sad can name what they are sad about, a break up, failing grade, etc. Someone who is depressed cannot name the specific cause. Both states of mind are never fun to be in 😕

    • @shineeeeeeeee5622
      @shineeeeeeeee5622 Pƙed 2 lety +5

      Thank you for this so i can tell the people who were forcing me and judging me on what exactly I'm depressed and self harm about saying" there's nothing for you to worry about than me and others who are in trouble you're just over acting and overthinking " last night

  • @ChloeNinjaxX
    @ChloeNinjaxX Pƙed 6 lety +189

    I just found your videos the other day and all I have to say is, it's so weird finally seeing my own eyes in another person. If that makes sense? I'm not sure if it terrifies me, or intrigues me, either way though thank you.

    • @kimberlynorato135
      @kimberlynorato135 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      Chloe Cook I like your comment.

    • @BrowardBandit
      @BrowardBandit Pƙed 4 lety +2

      I felt that

    • @JSluzewski
      @JSluzewski Pƙed 4 lety

      Same!!

    • @prashant.singh.7775
      @prashant.singh.7775 Pƙed 4 lety +6

      i was writing almost same comment but then i stopped because i thought it was weird XD

    • @redburningfires
      @redburningfires Pƙed 4 lety +3

      Yeah, same for me, I didn't know that there were others like me.
      I almost erased this comment bc I didn't think it was significant enough as a comment!

  • @greatestsawes9712
    @greatestsawes9712 Pƙed 4 lety +40

    "I have no friends to talk to..."
    I literally spent 2014 - 2018 without visiting anyone. I ain't messing you guys. I went to places, met people, but strictly for work purpose, and boom, was back home. I had no major problem with that, but from ime to time, it scared me a little that I was alone in the world with just my siblings and parents, like, was it how normal human beings lived?
    I would on several occasions spend over 48 hours straight in doors without stepping out of the house to see the veranda.
    This on so relatable James.

  • @jessieessex
    @jessieessex Pƙed 4 lety +77

    I’m way too depressed to look up the word “legubrious”. Full of beans? Swampy? A swamp of beans. That’s it.

  • @snoozyq9576
    @snoozyq9576 Pƙed 4 lety +12

    Depression was my whole identity for so long. I'm still trying to figure out who i am now that I'm not just depression anymore.

  • @im_toro
    @im_toro Pƙed 6 lety +84

    there’s a guitar on the bed now

  • @justinfalzon6854
    @justinfalzon6854 Pƙed 4 lety +70

    "Why INFJs have the best barbaques while Im dead inside." hahahahah. So real.

  • @earthgirl8917
    @earthgirl8917 Pƙed 2 lety +17

    When depressed, I (in the order)
    1. dive into science, theories or philosophy. Despite I'm a science educator as one of my professions I always love digging deeper. Since there's normally anyone physically present for me to have such conversations; I turn to one to one podcasts (love Lex Friedman) and imagine that I'm taking part in a discussion. Yes, talking in my head and talking aloud when nobody is around :D It helps me somehow to see more analogies with my present situation of depression, puzzle up solutions or causes or all of those. But paradoxically it also helps me divert and thus relax/calm down my mind.
    2. dance either for getting my endorphins or improvise new choreographs. As a dancer, as my second profession, dancing helps in a similar way as long as it also involves thought processes.
    3. write articles after I have my ideas being talked in my head and let the flow of words lead to a new idea, concept or meaning.
    4. talk to a friend who, I'm sure, is capable of listening and understanding (probably 80% is enough) the matter.

  • @z1pp0m4n
    @z1pp0m4n Pƙed 4 lety +18

    "Triggered into depression". Agreed. Certain things send me off that edge....

  • @davidj5425
    @davidj5425 Pƙed 6 lety +58

    I can empathize. Not having control over something or being unable to 'solve' something drives us insane. Especially if it's something that matters to us. The brain wants to circle back, even if every angle has already been examined.
    We all need that friend. The one that knows what we need. You know where they literally say "hey, I know what you need!" followed by something cool and fun. Do they only exist in TV shows?

    • @MCJOHNSON95
      @MCJOHNSON95 Pƙed 5 lety +2

      David J they are real life too

    • @user-fh6sm4sb4x
      @user-fh6sm4sb4x Pƙed 5 lety +2

      LOOOL same!! Like 'enough with your depression let's go on a roadtrip!!!"

    • @theincfiles
      @theincfiles Pƙed 5 lety

      That's literally my dream friend 😂

    • @andieisabella
      @andieisabella Pƙed 4 lety +2

      I find that most people want to do something cool and fun, that is where I politely exit. I would rather distract myself with the news or something non stressful. Then again, I am never looking for cool or fun. I am described as being a party-pooper. I like watching others, but would rather not take part in it.

  • @DudaBeckerG
    @DudaBeckerG Pƙed 5 lety +89

    Now mix the INFJ depression with Atention deficit disorder.. When I have to work or study, and I stay in a 2 hours loop of thoughts .... :'/

    • @cjdp238
      @cjdp238 Pƙed 4 lety +4

      Ugh same

    • @lunastariaspiritdiva8662
      @lunastariaspiritdiva8662 Pƙed 4 lety +2

      INTP will understand with their own OCD/ADD ~

    • @ezstaples6653
      @ezstaples6653 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      I have ADHD too. Sometimes I have five different projects going.

    • @DanieMylesK
      @DanieMylesK Pƙed 3 lety +2

      Urghh honestly!!!... like why do things have to be so hard for us??... and the forgetting this is so freaking frustrating and depressing đŸ˜Ș

    • @DanieMylesK
      @DanieMylesK Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Ez Staples so so many projects 😭

  • @lemi8928
    @lemi8928 Pƙed 4 lety +29

    I have friends, I consider everyone I meet as friends. But I don't have friends that I'm close enough to tell them how I truly feel and even ii I do try to tell them about it, I'm afraid I would be a burden to them cause they also have problems.
    I told one of my friends one time then she didn't even let me finish my story, when I told her about my family problem (I felt really left oit that time cuz no one understood me) she would try to find a solution and say things like "that's fine" , "that's normal" or "that happens to me too".. I know she was trying to make me feel better, and I'm grateful for that but I just wanted her to listen to me for a moment.. after I hit home. I couldn't believe myself that I told her that.. I thought "what if she tells someone about what I said? now I'm a burden to her, whu did I tell her that? did I really want to talk to someone that bad? I should be the pillar to them, I should make them feel comfortable and not be worried about me" those thoughts flew into my head at that moment. I then told her when I saw her at school to forget everything that I told her and she did. I really want to open up to someone but it's hard.. I tend to keep my personal feelings bottled up or only show it when necessary..I love my friends but I don't think I can tell the. about this.

    • @nayanikanath8949
      @nayanikanath8949 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      There are less people who wish to listen....but there are certainly people who Do listen. I understand how we would never open up to others and always be bottled up and don't want to feel like a burden . But speaking out to someone helps A Lot. Real friends are people who do listen....as INFJ we have many friends but very few whom we can share or feel we can share our problems.

    • @ezstaples6653
      @ezstaples6653 Pƙed 3 lety

      I am careful with my friends and what I want each of the to know. Maybe one knows more than all others together.

  • @paigeh.9208
    @paigeh.9208 Pƙed 4 lety +14

    I’m an INFJ-T and I’ve had depression and anxiety for years and years, and I’ve been stuck in this loop suffering alone. I’ve only gone twice, but I just started seeing a therapist. I really hope some of you who have the same problems that I have can break that loop somehow, because simply being able to voice my thoughts has already been so relieving.

  • @jenniegust9982
    @jenniegust9982 Pƙed 6 lety +50

    Emotions can cause physical pain...❀

  • @TheRoarWithin
    @TheRoarWithin Pƙed 6 lety +179

    I’m really glad I’ve found your videos.

  • @tw06le1
    @tw06le1 Pƙed rokem +2

    After 15 years... I'm finally learning what I am & why I'm so weird.
    I have no friends, I cannot connect with humans. I find them mostly annoying. My quietness is always misunderstood, even when just doom scrolling.

  • @astronomercat4685
    @astronomercat4685 Pƙed 4 lety +19

    I was in this loop so I searched up videos to understand it...I literally started crying because of how understood I felt. Thank you.

  • @alicjaXO
    @alicjaXO Pƙed 6 lety +133

    I've come to the realization that a romantic relationship with a fellow introvert (or perhaps even INFJ) would be best for me. I've only been in relationships with extroverts and I think it would make a world of difference. Simply to have a connection and understanding on a deeper level would be quite soothing to the soul I think. To be able to feel heard and understood, and then proceed to get out of the mind and blow off some steam together. That's my version of #couplegoals anyway :)

    • @MelissaHurley1994
      @MelissaHurley1994 Pƙed 6 lety +5

      Alicja xo ya it seems quiet hard for me with such a extro bf that loves talking so much and doesn't do silences very much and well... feels so draining .... But I love him so... I'm trying to show him this guy op videos maybe he'll understand what I go through more a lot better ....

    • @jlryder97
      @jlryder97 Pƙed 6 lety +9

      Alicja Sanity and inner peace await you in the land of introverts :) I never dated an extrovert. If I had, I would be writing this from a jail cell.

    • @hannahw90hw
      @hannahw90hw Pƙed 6 lety +6

      My partner is INSP - I think, or INTP. I am INFJ - although there are some aspects of me even he can't relate to, he does understand how I feel. The deep and personal conversations between two introverts far surpass any conversations I've ever had with an extrovert. My SO has less trouble making friends than I do, but can be very anti-social and introverted, even more than me sometimes. He often tells me I'm not as weird as I think I am. There are still differences between us, and I think that's the nature of being INFJ (less than 2% of people). Being with another introvert, the best part is we both understand that the other person really NEEDS to be alone. We give each other a lot of personal space and respect our time needed alone.

    • @hannahw90hw
      @hannahw90hw Pƙed 6 lety +9

      My sister and BFF is an extrovert, and she's the oldest. We have always been close and never had a fight or argument all our lives. As children (and even now in ways) she always did all the talking, because she understood that I wasn't able to express my wants/needs. Her extroversion brings out my creativity and imagination. I think introverts find it hard to experience real joy, without having the right people to bring that out in us. So I find I laugh a lot and have a lot of fun and joy with Extroverts. And she benefits from my calm, steady nature. When she feels restless and agitated by her need for constant movement and stimulation, my personality helps balance that out and bring her back to earth. She is the Yin to my Yang

    • @jlryder97
      @jlryder97 Pƙed 6 lety +2

      My mom is ENTJ. :) I actually have a couple other extroverted friends and that works well like with your sis, but for intimate relationships, I think my mom pretty much maxes me out energy-wise. It's my introverted bro that really gets over threshold when both me and my mom are emoting. He has sworn off extroverted girls. Ha!

  • @pearlpaz3937
    @pearlpaz3937 Pƙed 6 lety +53

    "suffering is all mental" boom! you nailed it! I had been suffering depression for so long and it tormented me intensely that I suffered insomnia, depersonalization , panic attacks, vertigo, you name it. Being an emotional sponge and overly sensitive person is the main reason why I suffered from all of my problems that's why Im trying to enhance my logical thinking to help me not to worry a lot about stuff and it really works :) i also read stoicism which is a really big help as well. Also, the other thing that worries me a lot is that when I'm depressed, it feels like I have no power to get myself out from the torment and darkness and i would become so desperate trying to be understood by others so that I would get an emotional support from my family or friends but I always ended up helping my own which is a good thing as well because it helps me become a mature and independent person.

    • @Sarasari3
      @Sarasari3 Pƙed 5 lety

      I'm sorry, but how do you exercise your logical thinking? I know it sounds silly, but I've been wanting to be more racional and logical for so long. And I also have anxiety, vertigo, panic attacks... Therapy is helping just BC i get to talk to someone without them telling they don't understand me. Thank you

    • @Sarasari3
      @Sarasari3 Pƙed 5 lety

      @Karrie Dee thank you :) I'll try it :) have a good day

    • @SAKhan-ui1ox
      @SAKhan-ui1ox Pƙed 4 lety

      Yes he nailed it.....i was going thru a loop here ....and lol....he just helped me out..

  • @chandraa5333
    @chandraa5333 Pƙed 4 lety +7

    I say things and people look at me like I'm crazy, i've learned to stop talking. I like knowing the reasons for things I need to know why. And I hate being out if control and feeling powerless in a situation.

  • @AlunaCoco
    @AlunaCoco Pƙed 4 lety +24

    I never understood the loop in my head until now, thank you♄

  • @KimberlyStrike
    @KimberlyStrike Pƙed 4 lety +93

    Thank you so much for this. My best friend is an INFJ and she's struggled with this kind of depression for her entire life. This really helps me to see it from her perspective and to see how I can help her with that. Thank you so much! 💜

    • @astavas8341
      @astavas8341 Pƙed 4 lety +6

      Wow, you're so kind & caring. Best hope for you & your friendship! Somehow this little things like this, that motivate INFJ to go through this hopeless world.

    • @ayeshaameermaliha
      @ayeshaameermaliha Pƙed 3 lety +5

      Your friend is so lucky to have you. Never change!❀❀❀

    • @najairasedano9068
      @najairasedano9068 Pƙed 3 lety +2

      Awww đŸ„° Thank you so much for putting effort to understand your friend!

  • @michaelzamora2831
    @michaelzamora2831 Pƙed 5 lety +12

    "Suffering is all mental..." I appreciate that phrase.

  • @tinaperez7393
    @tinaperez7393 Pƙed 3 lety +5

    I read a book about ways to solve a certain addiction and one of the things I'll always remember from it was "you can't think your way out if a bad mood - you can only act your way out" (take action toward solving your problems). Thought I'd throw that out here.
    Also, journaling can be a way to "get it it all out" - get out your thoughts and emotions to process them, be aware of them, get them out of your head in a way, etc.

  • @alivc2458
    @alivc2458 Pƙed rokem +5

    Frank James your channel has been far more therapeutic for me than any therapist I've ever seen. I cannot thank you enough for these videos, I'm not alone after all :)

  • @halimazahir2310
    @halimazahir2310 Pƙed 6 lety +26

    Tbh when I’m depressed I don’t like it when people try to distract me and I get pretty mad when they do . If I’m depressed and I share my depression with someone I want solutions to my problems not sweet words or distraction and often I never get my solutions from the people I share with so I need to think about it and find a solution myself and it varies sometimes it happens fast sometimes it takes forever and other times I never find the solution so what I’m saying is that for me I’m forced to stay in that loop

    • @wwltrig3108
      @wwltrig3108 Pƙed 6 lety

      halima zahir I feel the same. I know he isn't talking Socionics but this seems like a difference between the Se seeking function and the Te seeking function...

    • @lunastariaspiritdiva8662
      @lunastariaspiritdiva8662 Pƙed 4 lety

      You want an INTJ, they love fixing problems and finding solutions, they're always in trouble when people don't want a solution, and only want a distraction/sweet words of comfort.
      INTJ hears this all the time, go find an INTJ, they'll gladly fix anything! ~ It is why they love INFJs! ~ People are constantly angry at INTJs, because they don't want their help.

  • @suzsiz
    @suzsiz Pƙed 6 lety +124

    Damn I need to find INFJ or INFP friends [o: (as an INFP myself, it's so hard to relate to other people) To me, writing, has been my way of "extroverting" my feelings [o:

    • @andrielisilien
      @andrielisilien Pƙed 5 lety +5

      You should join my family... we've got four INFJs and one INFP accounted for 😉

    • @SmittenKitten.
      @SmittenKitten. Pƙed 5 lety +1

      Girl, I'm here for you! I'm an INFJ and we can totally be best friends!

    • @laurabarber6697
      @laurabarber6697 Pƙed 5 lety +3

      Yeah I wish I had friends too! Yeah journaling is just saved me. It's too bad we don't come with stickers on our foreheads so we'll know each other when we passed each other when we leave the house!

    • @marystruttman7755
      @marystruttman7755 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      @@andrielisilien I feel like its impossible to find other people like us(infj) i know what we are like! Not easy to take down that wall

    • @lordsesshoumaru8596
      @lordsesshoumaru8596 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      not to be that guy but seriously, sex is a great way to extrovert Fi and it is such a healing gift.
      I'm not very experienced, but the fumbling aside ppl can feel the genuine desire that you want to
      touch and pleasure them. I get confused as to if I'm that terrible or it's too good and they want to
      stop, because although women are known to fake the oos and aahs, they can't fake the fluids
      nor the involuntary spastic gripping that happens, 1 partner after sex would quiver sharply from
      my caressing her belly side or shoulders, I wasn't sure if that was climaxing but the 1 time I
      innocently giggled at her she seemed embarrassed and no I don't have it twisted that I'm God's
      gift to women but that women are God's gift to man, seriously Fe is overrated and Fi is so powerful
      by touch, just saying....

  • @Nikki-fx6yy
    @Nikki-fx6yy Pƙed rokem +4

    After years of suffering I came to a conclusion that the only way out was talking about it. It was hard at first but then I met my husband. I literally talked to him like he was in my head. It was scary and intimidating at first but seeing and feeling how much he understood me was absolutely amazing. Thanks to that I’m now feeling way better with my depression and whenever I get depressed I don’t wait and instantly talk to him about it. Don’t keep it all in my friends ❀

  • @gabrielleb2239
    @gabrielleb2239 Pƙed 4 lety +22

    I still can’t believe how accurate I’m finding this to be.

  • @koraljkamiletic620
    @koraljkamiletic620 Pƙed 6 lety +78

    I am not as young as you and have only recently started watching youtube videos to lift up my mood I guess, your videos are pretty upliftingâ˜ș. This is the first comment I ever wrote.

  • @SaravanjaSteele
    @SaravanjaSteele Pƙed 5 lety +85

    And that's why INTJs are the best friends for INFJs.

    • @kristelhonrado9765
      @kristelhonrado9765 Pƙed 4 lety +25

      Where on earth can I find intjs.

    • @outlaw6429
      @outlaw6429 Pƙed 4 lety +5

      @@kristelhonrado9765 , I am INTJ

    • @nadya2001144
      @nadya2001144 Pƙed 4 lety +19

      INTJ and their painful straigthforward style 😅 they understand.

    • @muaoribia4140
      @muaoribia4140 Pƙed 4 lety +6

      I have several INTJ friends and acquaintances, mostly females (two are my besties, actually!). I think it's a miracle they can stand me half the time, but I think it's mostly bc we both own our weird, ranty sides.
      You should've seen said INTJ besties when I emotionally told them a guy was trashing me for standing up for another friend (who politely gave him constructive criticism to make hus book better)... I told him to lay off her, he called me... well, not a very nice term for a woman. I summed what the convo to one INTJ bestie, and not only did she call it low, but she went on this whole logically beautiful insult argument against him, stating that no "self-respecting female would go near his acorn-sized package." ROFL 😂😂
      I love INTJs! Just wish I knew a male one... but would probably drive him bonkers xD

    • @muaoribia4140
      @muaoribia4140 Pƙed 4 lety +5

      @@kristelhonrado9765 college or higher ed programs.
      Usually anywhere knowledge or high-brow intellectuals can be found.
      Or at home, curled up with a stack of books, door deadbolted. XD

  • @Lokis_Tea
    @Lokis_Tea Pƙed 2 lety +3

    This video literally called out everything I’ve been unable to explain
    *This has saved me from another wave of depression*
    This legit is helping omg

  • @esmeray120s
    @esmeray120s Pƙed 4 lety +19

    It's amazing how you can express my exact thoughts whenever I am depressed. I am watching this video while laughing because of how accurate it is. It actually feels good to be understood. Thank you so much for making this channel ❀

    • @missparadoxa3905
      @missparadoxa3905 Pƙed 4 lety

      Akantha Petrova I adore you and your profile picture!

  • @syrollesse
    @syrollesse Pƙed 5 lety +12

    I feel like for the first time someone gets me. I was happy when I found the infj personality because I always felt like an alien and like no one ever understood me

  • @Nowkith_
    @Nowkith_ Pƙed 6 lety +25

    I'm INFJ and these videos have helped me so much. I've spent the last 11 months battling on and off with myself so you shedding light with your videos has definitely helped me understand and working with myself rather than get stuck in it. THANK YOU!

  • @jackcassidy8121
    @jackcassidy8121 Pƙed 4 lety +1

    In my 53 years of existence in this life... This "INFJ PERSONALITY TYPE" Concept has been in my awareness for about 3 hours. I am blown away at so many levels! The chance of me intersecting with this knowledge and information was completely unexpected! Yet I am in no way taken back by any of this. On the contrary, I am absolutely grateful! It was already many decades ago when I told myself that it would be nothing more than false hope, lying to myself, and an energy draining exercise to believe that there could someday be another human who might remotely be able to have even the slightest ability to truly understand a human being such as myself. Other than of course the understanding of how to inappropriately profit, energetically & emotionally leach, steal in every ruthless meaning of the word, step on, assassinate the character of, view as & treat like a valueless stupid, useless subhuman piece of excrement to be permenantly flushed down life's toilet!
    Then suddenly a bolt of lightning strikes in the form of this INFJ coming to my attention. It is remarkably close ((Idont believe in much of anything being replicated in exactness to the level of 100% or perfect.)to being so far in the range of perhaps a 95%-98% accurate comparison to my personality as I see it. I have no idea what if anything at all.,All of this information will lead to at this point. I am only 3 hrs. into this and quite a lot of additional thought and study must be seriously executed on my part before any conclusion(s) will be reached and extracted. Still I am surely very excited and interested in pursuing this deeper and farther.
    Thank You for the wonderful information and supportive knowledge you are providing with your channel. I fully intend to refer often to your channel as a positive resource for not only myself but hopefully for many others as well....
    Again,
    Thank You!
    Rob M.~

  • @sanoj92
    @sanoj92 Pƙed 4 lety +4

    Another factor to accelerates this loop is that it's not easy to practice extraverted feeling and sensing when depressed. When someone's depressed they do not want to meet the world, and they end up deciding to stay alone at home (at their peril)..

  • @ashamazon2262
    @ashamazon2262 Pƙed 6 lety +74

    This was really helpful! Sometimes there are those people who offer to listen and perhaps mean well but don’t really understand. Then when you share something meaningful and they say the wrong thing you feel regret for sharing.

    • @paulaneary3662
      @paulaneary3662 Pƙed 5 lety +6

      Ash- the thing I find is when I share something people have THE SAME CLICHES OVER AND OVER AND OVER- like, "you can't control other people" or, "there's nothing you can do about it" or "Well, ya gotta take care of yourself!" And yes, I am at the point I don't talk to people bc I don't want to get mad at them for REPEATING the same MEANINGLESS CLICHES the last 3 people spouted off to me. I know people are trying to help, but it's like they are not even listening to me when I am talking. I have hardly anyone to talk to now, which sounds like it may be a common problem for INFJ's?

    • @alexandrugheorghe5610
      @alexandrugheorghe5610 Pƙed 5 lety

      @Karrie Dee try also meditation. It teaches you techniques to break out of this loop by building self confidence and resilience. There's a technique called noting which helps tremendously in these situations of breakdown. Headspace has been working fine for me, I highly recommend it.

    • @marshfilm
      @marshfilm Pƙed 4 lety +1

      I'm at the point where if I interact with people and talk much at all I will later feel stupid or guilty about revealing myself in our interaction or something. Like I've opened up and gave them something they can pervert and use against me. It's gotten so I don't talk to anyone now if I can help it. And I'm starting to think everyone thinks I'm mad at them because I don't interact with them so much anymore (friends and family).

  • @librateen632
    @librateen632 Pƙed 6 lety +57

    Been in a loop for about 1.5 years. Can't believe I let it get to this point. Part of the reason is that I'm in a town away from my friends and family, alone 90% of the time so it's easy for me to get in one. Thanks for this and putting things into perspective. Time to get out and live. I actually might create a YT channel, you inspire me to put myself out there more. Talking on camera about personal stuff sounds like a nightmare, but I know it can be part of my release. Much love!

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  Pƙed 6 lety +18

      Grace, I am glad I could inspire you. Doing a YT channel is definitely scary and can be disappointing at first when you realize how difficult it is to make something watchable, ha ha. You become suddenly acquainted with all your facial ticks and bizarre speech patterns. But I think it is definitely worth it. Don't ignore those little tugs of creativity telling you to try out something!

    • @librateen632
      @librateen632 Pƙed 6 lety +4

      You made my day. Thank you!

    • @monicasojka2738
      @monicasojka2738 Pƙed 6 lety +1

      Great video! I do this all the time! I have an amazing best friend of 20yrs who I can say anything to and have. She is like 600 miles away so I don't see her much. I knew then first time I her that we would be friends like that. That's it though. Just need someone to listen some times.

  • @cynthiajohnson9412
    @cynthiajohnson9412 Pƙed 3 lety +4

    As an INFJ this book helped me a lot. 'Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy' by David D. Burns. It's a guide to cognitive therapy, also known as talking back to the distortions in our thoughts that lead us into depression. There's a great chart in the book that lists the top ten crazy things we tell us that leads us into these loops. Examples would be 1. All or nothing thinking (If I don't get THIS job I'll never find a good job, ever), over- generalizations (this ALWAYS happens to me), fortune telling (I know she'll say no if I ask her), etc.

  • @christinearmington
    @christinearmington Pƙed 3 lety +1

    “At first I kinda resist it . . . “. Yeah. đŸ€Šâ€â™€ïžđŸ€Šâ€â™€ïžđŸ€Šâ€â™€ïž

  • @sandradale5409
    @sandradale5409 Pƙed 5 lety +7

    My depression can start with a feeling first just as I have woken or a thought will pop up and I will recognise the bad feeling and say to myself mentally oh that's the feeling that sends me to that bad place bang I am there struggling fighting the thought feeling the bad feeling . I can go out to friends feel it's left me no sooner back home it grips me again . Sometimes it feels like an entity in my body has taken me over x

  • @mariamel-nazer9456
    @mariamel-nazer9456 Pƙed 5 lety +13

    I just stumbled upon this, you made me tear up, I'm not INFJ (probably INFP), I sort of watch your videos because 1) You explain functions in a relatable way
    2) To make a solid distinction between INFP & INFJ
    3) Your subtle sense of humor
    So I get stuck in this obsessive internalized sort of depressive loop and I can't bring myself to vent for fear of being ridiculed, I binge watch CZcams videos and such and this just resonated so much within me, hope you're doing well now and hopefully you've learned to escape those loops/turn them for your favor!

  • @moniquehuchet3646
    @moniquehuchet3646 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    I learned to recognize when the loop is starting and quickly distract myself with doing something usually gardening, or designing the garden.

  • @lovelyweather8794
    @lovelyweather8794 Pƙed rokem +3

    OMG I love that song
    💕
    Shout, shout let it all out
    đŸŽŒđŸŽ”đŸŽ¶
    Yes when I am in that horrible loop, I watch a comedy show, or FJ videos about all the MBTIs😆, I also cook, clean, listen to music, meditate or go for a walk. I feel relieved to know that I am not alone in this. Thank you FJ for ALL your videos and thank you especially for keeping these older videos which helps me a lot when things start to spiral. I also feel it is unfair to burden others with ones depression and those kind of thoughts.
    Once again your videos have been of great help.

  • @claty2897
    @claty2897 Pƙed 6 lety +14

    Dear Frank,
    You're a life changer. I know all of this way too well. I hope you are doing well. Stay strong. Stay you. Stay alive.

  • @Marvin_Alain
    @Marvin_Alain Pƙed 5 lety +18

    Thank you, Frank for making these videos. I thought I was alone and just wanted to disappear. I thought I was having BPD (I might be, don't want to self diagnose, though) as mania and depression keeps playing in the loop alternately. I felt like a lone fish inside an aquarium watching people go about their lives; understanding their nature-- the way they think, their dreams, their fears, etc. but not a soul understands mine. I am 34 and haven't been in a relationship. I am not the type who depends on another to feel complete, but at this age it makes me question myself. You are giving me the feeling of freedom. Like I have finally escaped the aquarium and joined the other fishes in the ocean hahaha! Thanks for making us feel we are not alone.

    • @runah9780
      @runah9780 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      This is a beautiful metaphor thanks for sharing it. I‘ve never been in a relation either. I have 2 friends who I can talk to about my problems, and I love them from my heart, but when I think about it, there are still a lot of things I think about that I don‘t even bring up in coversations and have never told anyone about.

  • @trendsetter8138
    @trendsetter8138 Pƙed rokem +3

    For me this depression stems in relationship when it is not reciprocated I go in total anxiety.

  • @iSoMiix3
    @iSoMiix3 Pƙed 4 lety +4

    I have been feeling pretty blue lately, and I TOTALLY relate to not having any friends that you're close enough to or friends that would be willing to push you out of your comfort zone to get out of your hole of helplessness. I have been really enjoying your channel, Frank! We should have a chat about MBTI, psychology, pick at each other's brains, or even just be there for each other as fellow humans.
    Thank you so much for making this video! It made me feel less alone. Keep up the great work!

  • @Al3xM3dina
    @Al3xM3dina Pƙed 4 lety +25

    “Shout, shout ... let it all out!”
    I’m in love 😍.

  • @immortalserito774
    @immortalserito774 Pƙed 6 lety +72

    Kicking the t.v. analogy priceless, also dates you and me a bit.

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  Pƙed 6 lety +19

      Yeah, ain't nobody kicking a 4K TV

    • @anthonybogart5224
      @anthonybogart5224 Pƙed 6 lety +2

      Let alone a flat TV. Your foot will go right through it

    • @THEJustLucy
      @THEJustLucy Pƙed 6 lety

      I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but we used to smack the top of the tv.

    • @douglasblackwolf8015
      @douglasblackwolf8015 Pƙed 5 lety +1

      The older sets would sometimes kick back, but yeah it was a real world fix.

  • @Bayoubebe
    @Bayoubebe Pƙed 2 měsĂ­ci

    “Suffering is all mental, pain can be physical, but suffering is mental”
.damn

  • @iamme3160
    @iamme3160 Pƙed 4 lety +2

    I watch these kind of videos to break the loop. They help me make sense of what is killing me, and why I feel a thousand times worse when people say the opposite of what I need to hear

  • @shannonlogue5585
    @shannonlogue5585 Pƙed 6 lety +75

    @ 6:43 Hmm? I think that's what you're doing here with this video. You're expressing yourself here (FE). Not only that, but giving us a good example of how to do it ourselves.
    I have lots of friends, but very few physically around that I can talk out my feelings. So, it's funny. Because I don't have many friends that I can go to regularly with my feelings or thoughts while I'm still figuring them out, my mom usually gets the brunt of it. Unfortunately, I think she's an INFP and doesn't know what to do with my thoughts sometimes, I believe this is because my deep "thoughts" come across to her as intense "feelings" when - in reality - I haven't even decided whether the thought is even true yet to me or not. I think I need more INFJ friends who can relate and be that sounding board during these times. Thank you for being my (virtual) friend, Frank. 😘 Your videos really do help people.

    • @shannonlogue5585
      @shannonlogue5585 Pƙed 6 lety

      I replied before I finished watching the video or watched Part 2. You ended up saying the same thing. Cool.

    • @EmmyKhan
      @EmmyKhan Pƙed 5 lety +2

      Oh looord sameeeee! My mom is an infp as well and talking to her can be so difficult because she doesn't get what point or question I'm exactly trying to figure out and she focuses on her personal feelings towards my life issues and not really helping me with them

  • @welcomethankyoucongratsgoodbye

    You continue to surprise me with how timely and accurate these are. :-)

  • @dimpledimple5545
    @dimpledimple5545 Pƙed 4 lety +2

    When I feel depressed and there's this thought that keeps getting in my head, I think while walking or running. cleaning the house... or go out and hangout by myself or ask a friend to come join me in a quiet resto or cafe.

  • @kelelex_
    @kelelex_ Pƙed měsĂ­cem

    I'm glad I have friend with who I can talk about all my thinking so I can have ether a "your right, do not doubt" or "no no you're going crazy" ❀

  • @amandagrey6341
    @amandagrey6341 Pƙed 5 lety +9

    “Or a patter-yn, if you’re from somewhere weird.” Made my day.

  • @Jessikins777
    @Jessikins777 Pƙed 6 lety +65

    Tears for fears reference! ❀❀❀ Always a joy to watch you :) even with a serious topic

  • @theother1406
    @theother1406 Pƙed 4 lety +1

    It makes it worse to try to talk to someone about it when in the end they really don't get it. Insult to injury. Waste of time. Then your shit is out there and it's another thing to regret and worry about.

  • @rocketta.chique5761
    @rocketta.chique5761 Pƙed rokem

    “I’m a post-postmodernist” My man, you just blew my mind and blessed my heart at the same time

  • @spleenog
    @spleenog Pƙed 6 lety +32

    Yes! This is why getting out of the mind and getting into your body and feelings is important for INFJs. It's the way out of the INFJ depression and the way into knowledge of self and actual real happiness...eventually...over time. That's when things actually come out...expression. I've learned that I've suppressed SO much. Anger and sadness and shit. Once it actually comes out..I feel so much better. All this suppressed stuff causes our depression. Get out of mind, get into feelings and let it all out! By the way, there actually are people who get joy from listening to other people's stuff and uplifting them! ✋ Holy crap. I reassured my nephew when he got upset the other day and to see the tension release from his little face, it felt like I had fulfilled my life's purpose. There are people. Loved the Easter egg idea btw.

    • @brideystar
      @brideystar Pƙed 6 lety +3

      Yes definitely! I think we get stuck in the mental Ti and actually need to tune into our emotions and attend to them. We need to listen to our emotions too and give them the validation and release they need.

    • @lunastariaspiritdiva8662
      @lunastariaspiritdiva8662 Pƙed 4 lety +1

      @@brideystar I get upset because I want hugs and cuddles ~ If I could just get sensual intimacy, I'd be great ~

  • @SammieSvaaana
    @SammieSvaaana Pƙed 6 lety +4

    I thought I'm alone for this and keep sinking when my depression keep coming back. And there's always dilemma between distracting myself to hang out with friends or being alone in bedroom to recharge my battery.
    And thank you so much! Your videos helping me so much. 💙

  • @missparadoxa3905
    @missparadoxa3905 Pƙed 4 lety +4

    This is not only interesting, but also super important! Just recently I realised that even though I’m all about supporting, helping and listening to others, and being the one that says “I’m here if you need to talk”, I don’t let people do that for me. I have some people that I consider friends, but at that moment I felt like.. they might be my friend, but am I theirs? I know them by heart, but I don’t let anyone in so they can get to know me. I always just listen, I answer questions when they’re asked, but I never just tell. It’s not that I don’t trust them, I just don’t want to be a burden, I don’t want to overshare and strip myself off all my walls and become vulnerable.
    It’s extremely hard to break this pattern, especially if you’ve been keeping it up your entire life, but it’s really important to have at least one person you can fully trust, can tell anything, knowing you won’t be judged, ridiculed or ignored.
    Everybody needs a person like that, and I’m lucky enough to have my best friend, an INTP, in that role. She knows me better than anyone, and I her. We have this incredibly close and strong bond, and we constantly challenge ourselves and each other to grow, to take the hurdles, to go out of our comfort zones.
    All that was basically just an unnecessary introduction to what I actually came here to say:
    I agree wholeheartedly. Telling people, or one person, what you’re feeling and thinking and struggling with, will grant you incredibly helpful insights. Especially with her being an INTP, and therefore very neutral, analytical and zero bullshit, really helps me when I’m stuck. Having someone look at your issue from an outside perspective is critically underrated and extremely effective.
    I have some other people that I go to for their thoughts and advice and to help me with decisions, but it’s usually a certain person for a certain topic/issue.
    But I can tell you that once you let someone in, someone you can trust, everything can change for the better. That stupid wonderful woman knows, reads and predicts me better than anyone. And yeah, it’s scary sometimes, being an open book with a few torn out pages, but it’s worth it.
    And I wouldn’t be an INFJ if I didn’t leave with something along the lines of:
    Even if you don’t have anyone trustworthy in your life that you can talk to, there’s always the option to go to websites like 7 Cups of Tea, where you can anonymously talk to trained listeners.
    TL;DR: Talk to people, let them in, even if it’s just a random stranger. As long as they can look at things from a neutral standpoint, it’ll help you tremendously.

  • @nicholaswolfgram9493
    @nicholaswolfgram9493 Pƙed 2 lety +2

    Thank You so much for doing these videos. I was in an Ni-Ti loop for a long time when my wife kidnapped my three kids then got me kicked out of my own house and then made up some false claims to the police. I ended up spending 64 days in jail. I thought I was going to literally go insane. It was one of the few times in my life where my intuition let me down, I never thought my ex-wife would be capable of such evil. I have always tried to do good in my life and help people out. I still haven't seen my kids because she then got an order of protection against me and has disobeyed the court order to let me see my kids. I would constantly go though in my head for hours and hours about things. I couldn't get out of my own head for a long time.

    • @cristovaooliveira7105
      @cristovaooliveira7105 Pƙed rokem

      This message is for you @Nicholas Wolfgram . If You are an infj your mind is allways thinking. Your purpose now is your kids. As being a good person you ended up with a terrific woman. It happened me the same really. We have a deep connection with borderline and narcisist people, my luck was not having kids with her otherwise my life would be even worse than it was really. Go to the court and try to prove she is border or narcisist. She is doing this because she is evil and enjoys to watch you suffer, it gaves her pleaseure. Dont get you caught ok? Be smart because you are, usually people like us sometimes stay on the wrong hands. Best luck and im sorry you are passing through this. Huge hug

  • @MT-ij2mh
    @MT-ij2mh Pƙed 6 lety +21

    The price is loneliness

  • @miyamotomusashi3679
    @miyamotomusashi3679 Pƙed 5 lety +7

    Can't I just imagine an ideal friend sitting beside me and i just open up?

  • @melanie.l6282
    @melanie.l6282 Pƙed 2 lety +2

    I am in a depression at the moment border suicide
    No one to talk to Thank you for your video