Crimes of the Future (2022) - Blood Splattered Vlog (Body Horror Movie Review)
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- čas přidán 28. 06. 2022
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GREETINGS, GOREHOUNDS!
This week The Horror Guru and Count Jackula review David Cronenberg's CRIMES OF THE FUTURE!
CRIMES OF THE FUTURE (2022) was written/directed by David Cronenberg, produced by Robert Lantos, and stars Viggo Mortensen, Léa Seydoux, Kristen Stewart, Don McKellar, Scott Speedman & Welket Bungué.
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Body horror a genre where practical effects are usually better than CGI.
Yeah, it might be a case of the uncanny valley, but as soons as you notice the CGI it's immediate cringe or even involuntarily funny while practical effects get quite a bit more leeway to actually achieve the desired effect.
After leaving the theater I immediately thought “Oh god what are Jack and Guru gonna say about this?” 😂
Pretty unique movie.
Some people are afraid that these new mutants will go all X-Men.
The Top Ten Ways of the Horror Guru and Count Jackula
#10 The massive catalog of videos, I mean Vlogs. Christ I’m old as The Horror Geek.
#9 The spoiler intro music. Horns-A-Plenty.
#8 Metal music shirts. To paraphrase Corey Taylor, ‘Wear your gear proudly like armor’.
#7 The knowledge of movies, actors, directors, etc. “The actor was also in…”
#6 The giggles.
#5 Count Jackula’s multiple usernames online. He wants to make us all work to find him. Worth it!
#4 Genuine friends. The patience and appreciation is obvious on screen. General pleasantness.
#3 Shudder loyalty. C’mon Shudder! Acknowledge these guys!
#2 Animal appreciation in their studio and in movie reviews.
#1a Discussion of movies not in the mainstream. Bravo to you good sirs.
#1b Fan/Viewer Appreciation.
I have to see this! Existenz is one of my favourite movies of all time. By his own admission Cronenberg used to have a recurring nightmare in which he was an insect/human hybrid struggling to tear his way out of a chrysalis whilst screaming in pain.
He told Michael Ironside to use that image as a motivation when filming Scanners. F****g genius! #vaginabed
This channel has great recommendations! Going to watch the movie first and then I'm coming back to the review.
One of the last recommendations left me scarred (The Sadness).
On one hand, body horror is just about the only horror genre that I don’t love. On the other hand, I really want to power through a movie that made Jack of all people have to take a moment. 😂
It's sceduled for cinema in November, so I'll wait until I watch the spoilers
Not like I wasn't going to seek this out on my own, but the review seals the deal. And, since I can't seem to do anything these days without an old commercial jingle entering my head, I'm now singing #VaginaBed to the tune of the old Potato Skins commercial: "Vagina bed's got real vagina appeal, 'cause it's made with vaginas'n'skins that are real..."
Watching this at lunch was a mistake.
I'll need to check this out! Have you watched RRR yet? It's wild in the best way. Lol
I just saw Scanners and it is good.
Love Jack so much! He cracks me up!
Long live the new flesh oh wait wrong movie
I cant wait to c this. I swear Cronenberg is the only director that makes me nauseous before I watch the movie. I just tried to explain the plot to my wife(granted I'm quite stoned right now). She had this look of what in the fuck r u talking about lol! I agree with her though. #vaginabed
Now shes gonn c this hashtag great
Wait, are you two on TikTok?! You've got to give links! I do cosplay over there.
Edit #vaginiabed
I guess I gotta wait another couple weeks because Canada.
Oh well, laying in the #vaginabed is surely worth the wait.
Are you going to review Black Phone? It is a good movie.
When it hits streaming.
I’m actually here for spoilers
#vaginabed 😂
❤️ Cronenberg. Went and saw it a few weeks ago and I’m still digesting it (no pun intended). #Vaginabed
#vaginabed been waiting for this movie drop. Now I have to rent this later tonight
#vaginabed I really wanted to like this film but just couldnt get into it!
Loved this movie but the CGI felt weird. #vaginabed
Although I find it how if it's a Cronenberg that tackles a specific message it's fine.
But if any other horror movie does the whole tackling a message it's
*"OMG THIS MOVIE IS BEING WOKE I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THEY DID THIS IT'S SUCH BULLSHIT THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING WOKE!!!"*