r/AITA for Being Glad My Sister is Dead?
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- čas přidán 11. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:06 Dont care
3:03 Comment
3:25 Joke gifts
8:03 Comment
11:23 Eating
14:10 Comment
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Story 2: Oh my god that Family is terrible... That is pure bullying full of malice.
How dare they give OP a joke gift and then give the gift it looked like to another at the party... They are horrible!
Story 3: "Amy has been struggling with depression, so it was within her rights to act how she did" ... Not it wasn't... I am sorry that Amy has a depression but that doesn't excuse being an asshole like that. Oh wow and people just encourage her....
I guess we know who’s the black sheep.
Honestly everyone in the 3rd story is a butt hole except for the OP.
I’ve noticed that OP was the youngest out of the siblings. It seems like she was an oops baby. Regardless what her family did was tacky and disrespectful. They owe her an apology and actual gifts. Plus if they truly want to mend things, they should get rid of the joke gifts.
I’m wondering if Amy has jealousy issues with OP and is masking it as depression? Regardless of how Amy is feeling, it doesn’t excuse her to make lies about OP.
If you allow me, I'd like to share one of my stories. - I didn't have a jester family like this, but I am a middle child.
I remember one Christmas, when I was 13 or so, my sprm donor gifted everyone a phone. He bought himself a new phone, bought my mother a Sony Ericsson, my brother (16) got a Xperia Play, my sister (18) got an iPhone 5 and even my LITTLE brother (10) was gifted one of those store display plastic phones to play with. I got nothing.
The reason I say this is because that stuff is not rare and bully / neglectful dynamics in families are very common. These folks suck and it's obvious here that for some reason, op ended up being the black sheep just for existing. My guess would be the oopsie baby.
I'm really glad that people are becoming more accepting of mental illness, but this idea that neurodivergence justifies everything needs to go away. I'm autistic, and I sometimes misstep pretty badly in social situations. If I say something hurtful, I would never expect someone to overlook it just because I'm autistic. I'd want to know that I'd screwed up so I can make amends and try to avoid making the same mistake in the future. (Now, I might mention that I'm autistic as part of an apology, or proactively to try to avoid misunderstandings... but that's different.)
"Amy has been struggling with depression, so it was within her rights to act how she did" - no, personal hardship doesn't justify mistreating people.
Depression and any other negative mental states never justify you being an asshole
As someone who’s dealt with depression since I was eleven, depression doesn’t cause you to mistreat people. It might make me be in a bad mood, but taking that out on someone is separate from depression.
it is understandable why you acted like that
but that doesn't mean it is within your rights to act like that
Agree.
I have CPTSD. Emotional dysregulation is a part of that disorder. Periodically, someone with a loved one with CPSTD will ask on the support forum how they can better cope with/accept abusive outbursts by their loved one. Every last one of us response you don't. It is NEVER OK to abuse someone else, even if we are dealing with a mental health issues like CPTSD.
IT is NEVER OK to abuse someone even while dealing with mental health issues. And it is never the job of others to tolerate abuse even by someone with mental health issues.
I hate when people think they should get a "pass" on their crappy behavior because of mental issues... It is like using mental health as a shield suddenly makes them incapable of treating others with dignity... Mental health is a genuine concern for most people but it doesn't mean you get to act like trash to those around you... I notice a LOT of influencers who were "canceled" this last year use this defense when called out for past behaviors... It is one of those times where the few who use mental health as a defense in that way are making it harder for others who are also having mental health crises to speak up...
Last story: I'm someone who grew up with food insecurity. My brothers and I have always fought over food in my family. If I don't eat something first, they'd eat it, even if it's MINE and I bought it myself, for myself, and hidden it away. I overeat because of it, because I grew up feeling as though I had to if I wanted to eat my food at all.
AND STILL I've got the basic human respect not to eat other peoples' shit, let alone to call them a bitch afterwards!!! What the hell is wrong with OP's husband because that's not food insecurity, I think that's just straight up controlling/manipulative behavior!
Exactly! And potentially causing ACTUAL food insecurity in his own children because they know their meals are limited. If he refuses to apply himself in therapy and blames OP, she needs to kick him TF out and he can have all food to himself. And she can make sure her children are fed properly.
It breaks my heart. I can imagine the kids speed eating before they're at risk of having their plates snatched.
I agree, that man doesn't simply have food insecurity. Someone with a diagnosable condition is supposed to seek treatment to come closer to being able to function in society again, or their condition changes its label based on the willful choice and malice behind their decision. He needs to be called what he truly is: A selfish glutton who abuses his family.
I used to (and still do) over eat and eat super fast because my dad and I would have “eating contests” (which I found fun back then) and he would eat my left overs from restaurants. Eventually I got pissed at him eating my thai food leftovers. I knew he couldn’t eat spicy food so I started to slowly increase my spice tolerance and ordering spicier and spicier food. And then my leftovers were safe! But yeah, I still struggle with over eating and eating too fast even 15 years later. What this dad is doing is going to badly affect his children (if it hasn’t already) and it already is badly affecting his wife and marriage. He needs therapy and consequences for his actions. There is a difference between being understanding and enabling and it’s different for everyone.
Right?? Even if he does subconsciously fear that there’s “not enough” for everyone, wouldn’t a proper father want what “little” food they have to go to his kids?
Story 1: NTA and tell your parents to "get over it", you don't get to abuse your own child then expect them to come back after the golden child died like a replacement part
@@Shadows_001I put the throwing op out of the house under the "abuse" part because honestly there overall behavior can't be explained as anything else.
They pretty much ruined any chance of reconciliation ever since dad told Shyla she is welcome to have OP. This pretty much shatters the relationship between OP and his parents.
I really don’t think they want to reconcile nor use OP as a replacement. I think they only want OP as a prop.
Agreed! They've told you to " Get over it! " for YEARS because they want to continue to baby and spoil rotten their " precious golden child ". Now, they don't have her, or you! Tell them to " Get over it! "
What awful parents!
Yeah, the girlfriend is a spineless coward. I’m just gonna say it.
She dares to think OP was too harsh and not understanding?? PLEASE!
I hope this isn’t a red flag…
Funny how a dad only comes to try and speak to OP when the golden child is dead
I mean can’t exactly talk to the golden child anymore
@@bibigamer502 so the other child is just a consolation prize
And no apology, no remorse. Just cries and demands OP “make things right”. You first loser
Basically further proves that both him and his wife view OP as an afterthought. It literally took their golden child dying to notice "Oh fuck - we've had another kid this whole time!"
Exactly!
Story 2 - Those arent pranks, theyre bullying you. F em.
Agreed.
Definitely. I have never given my family members a joke gift. I don't have a lot of money, but I do my best to get them stuff they want. My sister has money problems right now, so I just asked her to draw me a picture of a character I made up. It was an amazing picture and I loved it. My dad and I got each other socks. Not every gift has to be expensive, but it should at least be thoughtful. I will get my sister hopefully something nice this year. She can draw me another picture. I am satisfied with that. OPs family are all aholes. I am glad her inlaws are so great. I feel sorry for OP. She gave everyone nice gifts and all they did was make fun of her. I hope she sticks with her inlaws next time.
Yeah, gift-giving 'prank' is the progressively smaller box to an empty jewelry box, with the very real jewelry taped (inside a small baggie, to the bottom of the biggest box.
An prank is when both parties see the humor in it. However they all steamrolled OP by giving her nothing while she went out of her way to provide gifts. Gifts she likely has to strictly budget for since she’s 21 and likely has a limited budget.
@@Nikita_Akashya Nothing wrong with giving family joke gifts. I have given and received them many times but that was no joke. That was straight up mean and says "we don't care about you or your feelings at all." And to top it off, they don't care that they ruined her christmas, only that their own christmas was ruined. Eff that family.
So...Diana spreads a rumor and is so bad, OP almost got expelled but when the truth came out, she only gets suspended? Does that sound weird only to me?
I was thinking the same thing. Kind of like one story which a college classmate accused OP of plagiarizing almost getting him expelled. When it was revealed she lied, she only lost her scholarship and had to retake a semester ALL WHILE STILL IN CLASSES WITH OP! And she still has the nerve to ask OP for notes and help. In the comments everyone recommended OP sue the school.
It happens way more than you think, the offending party usually always only gets a slap on the wrist while the victim gets the harsher punishment until the truth is revealed...
If it was public school, I'm surprised she got a punishmebt at all.
I was wondering too. If I had to guess the “parents” fought tooth and nail to lesson her punishment if she was also facing expulsion. Clearly her entire goal was to get rid of OP. She got what she wanted. But I bet OP got a better life too. The “parents” got what they wanted as well. OP left. I hope he is living his best life. And I wish the “parents” all the love and respect they gave OP.
Not weird at all. It's actually incredibly common among tween/teens in school to bully others in that manner, and it often gets to the point where staff hears about it. When it's revealed to be BS, the offender is often let off easy.
5:43 Ungrateful? Ungrateful for WHAT? They didn't get anything that wasn't a joke, so what could they even be ungrateful for??
Exactly my thoughts. I find more joy in giving than receiving, but man if my family did that I'd be hurt too. Even socks would have been better than what they did.
Meg from Family Guy comes to mind.
No longer than 0 minutes? Dang yeah they were jealous and something tells me they’re stalking op.
She got monopoly money, gift cards with no money in it, and A macbook Air Box. She was literally gifted garbage.
I think I remember an update to this and it was like the sisters idea or something and they (at least the brothers) apologized later because they didn't realize that all the gifts were jokes until she said something.
Sounds like next year OP should get her family "joke" gifts, and then still spend Christmas with her BF's family. Use the gift giving passion for people who actually deserve it.
Yes! This family sucks.. op just deserves to be with bf's family, because they treat her right...
Yeah! Give them ALL zero dollar “gift” cards! F ‘em all!
This is the way
Yeah, next year, OP could send brightly wrapped boxes (to all the family members that pranked her) with a crazy looking elf behaving badly doll holding a note inside saying her gift of giving is NO CONTACT.
in the last story, the husband doesn't apply his therapy, but was willing to use some of the language to try and weaponize it, he said "your withholding food from me, which will cause me to regress" first regression implies progress, which there is none, but this shows he is malicious in his intent
He’s likely just upset he can’t control and abuse his family
Story 2: be grateful for what, they gave you garbage as a joke while everyone else got nice stuff, then got mad when you didn't appreciate how they all came together to give you crap. Screw your family they knew exactly what they did and it's easier for the entire group to gang up on you instead of apologizing or at the barebone minimum acknowledging they are dicks. Don't let them emotionally manipulate you just because there's more of them you had every right to be mad and it's funny how you're supposed to care about your mom's feelings but none of them have to care about yours. If I were you I would have taken back every single gift I gave out and actually ruined Christmas for them like they did you.
And when they ask, “Oh! These were just joke gifts! My real gift is my absence since it’s obvious no one really gives a crap about me!”
I'd say be grateful because now you know better than to waste time, effort, or money on them.
Naw, let them keep it. Then completely ghost and never reach back out. It will take a few years and Christmas’s. But they’ll reach back out and start apologizing. You see this family dynamic needs a scapegoat or butt of the joke. Without OP they will start to turn on each other. This in turn will give them their own comeuppance. Or they won’t miss OP at all and just move on. Either way there is no need to continue.
@@lorilancaster5917 Hell yeah! They want to f around, they can find out who NOT to f with.
So I found the OP’s account and one “she says which is really wicked sad, it’s known in her family and made clear. She’s not the favorite daughter. Now for some reason they know that they don’t like her, but this was a perfect excuse just to trash her. But yeah, why is it that every narcissistic and entitled parent always has to say you should be grateful when they do something hurtful? What should I be grateful that you didn’t kill me that I was born on the fact that I wasn’t up to your expectations? Or I should be grateful that you didn’t sell me off to a sex trade or some thing? Sometimes when I see these type of things, I almost wanna ask the parents grateful for what you idiots?!!
The dad deserves no respect it’s sad the sister died but that doesn’t mean op has to bend to his abusive father cause the dads a sore loser who lost both kids
Considering how he treated OP I’m surprised the “dad” even wanted OP in his life at all
"Oh so you remembered that i exist only when the miss Never-can-do-anything-wrong bit the dust? Boo-fucking-hoo. Cry me a river."
OP should go back to NO CONTACT with that sorry excuse of a “ father “!
@@BadassHater1 Agreed. What awful parents! Especially OP’s sorry excuse of a “ dad “
@@tawnyacosta9091he did, and he will again. It was the aunt (? Cousin? Whatever) who gave him dad's number after several years.
Story 3: Amy is weaponizing her depression to get her own way. I don't think that she is nice 90% of the time, she is just "nice" to her face.
I presume Amy decided to try to make a big popularity play by trampling over the OP when she was first introduced, to become the belle of the ball by stepping on an established person's reputation. But it didn't work so she went on a long scapegoating campaign. What she could not get with her family recipe, she's now trying to get via pity points and slander.
The OP is a victim of a spiteful manipulative witch and the friend group should feel bad for enabling that abuse. Anyone with half a mind shown proof of years of this nonsense would know it's a deeprooted personal grudge, not something innocent.
I really take issue with the therapist butthole score. Any is unreliable so we have no idea how good or bad the therapist is.
I'm not entirely convinced that Amy has depression. To me it sounds more like she's a covert narcissist who is really skilled at manipulating the people around her, including her therapist.
@@survivedandthriving Bingo! Her obvious lies and actions show who she is. How dumb are these "friends"?
Also, I have a feeling she’s straight-up lying about her therapist telling that line about “asking how you can help is manipulative.” That sounds like something SHE came up with to try and make OP look bad.
story 3: i have depression, too. it’s no fucking excuse to harass people for years. also, she needs to drop her therapist.
no fr like i had bad unmedicated depression for years its not an excuse to be a bitch
Wouldn’t surprise me if her therapist didn’t actually say that and she instead twisted the words to make herself feel valid
Another thing to consider is the therapist can only go off of what they are being told. If she is only getting a warped version of events, she can only give advice based on that.
Last story: OP's husband deserves the higher b*tthole score. OP said he is in therapy for his food insecurity, but he's not taking his therapist's instructions seriously. Therapy only works if you do what your therapist tells you. He ate most of OP's dinner, said he was full, then tried to eat his kids' dinner. OP isn't withholding food, he ate. Just not the lasagna. And FYI, husband of OP, you can't go backwards if there hasn't been progression. That made me laugh.
Story 1: NTA. These parents (if you can even call them that) have already shown who's the only child they care about. OP does not owe them ANYTHING and should not sugarcoat his feelings about the matter.
Story 2: NTA. "Joke gifts"? And they called YOU the ungrateful one because you were understandably upset about getting practically nothing? I don't think OP's family are pranksters. I think they are just greedy bullies. Screw them - they can celebrate Christmas on their own from now on. Without getting anything from OP.
Story 3: NTA. Amy is clearly insecure about her cooking skills. But it looks like she's very close to going full psycho. And her therapist is not helping.
Story 4: NTA. This is borderline divorce territory. That guy is stealing food from his own children and wife, calls said wife a bitch when she put a boundary and refuses to do therapy? I'd say kick him out. You already have other kids to deal with - you do not need a man-toddler too.
Story 1. the dad chose another man's child over his own. Then years later begs for him. He lost his son the Moment he chose someone else's child.
We can't know the quality of the therapist at all because Amy is so unreliable a narrator. We only have her filtered side of the interactions between them.
Op said in a comment he’s the stepdad so they aren’t his children biologically
@@katienelson6122 so? He married the woman with these two kids. Just because they do not share genes does not mean he can't treat them as his kids. Or atleast as human beings and not annoyances
at the expense of his son?@@BadassHater1
On the last story, Dabney, I think you're not nearly harsh enough. If that man refuses to allow his children second helpings of dinner so that he can eat it later, and he complains to his wife that he regularly eats too much, he is actually abusing his kids. 5/5
Plus, Dabney said the husband needs therapy. However, it states that he does go to therapy but doesn’t apply himself with the advice they give because “it’s pointless”. This means that he is actively refusing to help himself.
@@hashtagcritical8688he’s not only refusing to help himself, he’s blaming his wife for “setting him back” when he hasn’t taken any steps forward to be taken back
How much does this person weigh anyway? That amount of eating can't be healthy.
@@javaman7199I’ve heard this story before and OP said his weight was unhealthy.
I really hope OP leaves him since he won’t help himself and she gets therapy if possible for the children.
With the whole "my tummy is full" whine fest that op described, it sounds less like a normal eating disorder and more like a fetish he's obsessed with. Some people are into weird shit and unfortunately sometimes they're so obsessed with that thing that it actually impacts their lives, like that story of the guy that liked to pee himself in public and at family gatherings. The wording the reaction, it all feels like this guy just has a fetish for feeling over full and unfortunately, people with fetish obsessions are far less likely to accept help because they don't want to get rid of something that turns them on/makes them feel good.
The "joke gifts" story - her family seems sensitive, ungrateful and childish. They should just get over it and stop making drama.
The only way that would have made up for it was to put a check for 1-2k in the dictionary.
OP should apologize and give them sh1t "presents" for the rest of their lifes. Simple as that
@wolcek - I really enjoy and appreciate what you did there - perfect response!
That whole story is a joke tbh. Who still expects Christmas presents from their parents as an adult? Just spending time with them is enough, if they get a gift great. Idk just seems childish for a person in their 20s being butthurt over not getting presents.
@@codyjohnson6427 to me it does not seem childish since the butthurt is not about getting presents, but unequal treatment and being the butt of a joke.
Last story- according to the wife, husband IS in therapy and he just refuses to do the work.
It sounds like he doesn’t want to and isn’t going to change unless the wife takes drastic steps to remedy the situation.
I really wish the wife had a backbone. Much as my Lady Wife loves me and depends on me, if I acted like that- especially calling her a b***h- I would have been out the door that instant.
Story 1: NTA. The father should be happy OP even agreed to call him!
Story 2: As someone who loves practical jokes and is a bit of a prankster myself, I can say without a shadow of a doubt what OP's family is doing isn't a joke. That's straight up blatant CRUELTY! NTA.
Story 4: NTA. Also Dabney, the minute a parent steals from their kids, whether it's money, food or whatever, he/she deserves at least one extra Butthole score!
don't you mean story 4 with story 3?
@@Over0w0MeAmTheHotel 🤦♂ Yes. My bad.
@@nils920lol it’s good. We all have our moments
Yes! Every OP is NTA. The other people are TA!
Joke Gifts Story: I think it’s about that time for OP to cut contact with their completely. They’re really toxic and I think they actually hate her.
Seriously. WTF did I just read? I love giving joke gifts myself but that was no joke. That's straight up telling the person you are giving the gift to that we straight up don't give a shit about you. Props to the boyfriend for recognizing what was happening and helping to get her out of there.
This was just targeted bullying (OP was just a scapegoat for their abuse). They know what they did was wrong and, like the narcissists they are, they blame OP for rightfully being upset.
Yeah the point of a joke gift is to laugh and then give the real gift after. This was not a joke gift. This was just people being rude.
I couldn't agree more! What a horrible, toxic family.
I’m like 99% certain that OP’s family in that story just hates their very existence
Last story: I would assume from context clues that the husband had food withheld as a child. The "it will set me back" comment that really told me that. Kids that go through food withholding tend to overindulge as adults, and that looks like what is happening here. Although, even if that is true, that doesn't excuse him from taking other people's food
Was about to say(getting at the last bit) that even if that's the case, he's passing that trauma along by not letting his OWN kids eat. I am a firm believer that if you cannot work on yourself, you should not have kids.
As someone with severe bipolar depression and childhood trauma who does not plan on having kids.
I personally interpreted that as him weaponising therapy speak to guilt trip his wife. Manipulation basically. I mean he refuses to actually do the things suggested by his therapist because he doesn't believe in it, but then suddenly it's all totally valid when it suits him. Plus he calls his wife names? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this dude's a total scumbag.
@fddldd6661 Exactly, he considers the therapy pointless and doesn't apply himself but he'll weaponize therapy terms to shield himself from criticism. He's terrible to his wife and is taking away food from his kids so he can eat even more. It just sounds like an addiction at this point, and he's victimising his wife but especially his children.
She needs to divorce him. I'm not saying the kids can't see their dad, but they need to feel safe in their own home.
Story 2, how the hell did OP's family think she wouldn't get upset??? They literally got her nothing while showering everyone else in presents. That's not joke gifts or a prank, that's flat out neglectful.
Yep. That's a very clear FU move.
Exactly. For my 30th birthday (which was in 2020 so I didnt even know if I'd get to see my family) my family gave me all my gifts and then one last joke one which was a pen that said "all I got for my 30th is this shit pen". Mum said she considered giving me only that then after like 5 mins would have given me the real gifts but then thought that was too harsh. So like, theres a way to give joke gifts without it being a bullying attempt on a family member
They gave her candy she doesn't/probably can't eat, monopoly money, useless gift carts, a brick and a dictionary
I would also be upset if i got that and the other family members got something they wanted, like how is it a joke jokes should be funny this is just cruel
The word you were looking for was "bullying"
@@juliaboskamp9666 The only way that would have made up for it was to put a check for 1-2k in the dictionary.
The green bean casserole story:
Could it be that Amy lied about her therapist said, could it be that it's just another way of trying to bully OP? I suggest that Amy needs another full butt-hole if that's the actual case.
Possibly, although Amy may have completely misrepresented OP to the therapist.
I hate that she’s weaponizing depression in order to go unquestioned in her bullshit.
@@javaman7199 That's another way it could have gone. Either way it would leave Amy guilty of being a liar.
I suspect this is the case.
Both. Amy is almost assuredly misrepresenting or flat out lying about OP to the therapist, _and_ the therapist to the OP.
Story 2: The second I heard “my family pulls pranks”, I knew.
I never trust “prankster” families. All they do is just bully each other
Can confirm. I'm low-to-near-zero contact with my own for this exact reason.
It's even worse than that, considering EVERY SINGLE present was a "joke gift". I don't think this is just some jerk family with the attitude of, "Oh, come on, it actually IS funny!" They went out of their way to do something they KNEW would make her feel really bad. That's not an AH prank; that's just sadistic.
The last story doesn't seem like a food insecurity issue. It sounds like a control issue. Also, is it normal for OPs husband to call her out her name? That's weird. The most I get called out my name is "Betch" from my sister 🤣 and she only says it when she either has some juicy tea to spill or I'm pushing the boundaries of being an annoying little sister. 😂
And it makes we wonder what other aspects does he try and control?
@@lorilancaster5917 Plus his weight cannot be healthy with all that eating.
@@javaman7199Yep. 👍 Complaining often that he ate too much, and his belly hurts, and then 30 minutes later he wants to eat AGAIN, sounds like a recipe for morbid obesity, or super-duper morbid obesity. Like 600-lb. Life obesity. ☹️
Story 2: Again, jokes and pranks are supposed to be funny.
Story 3: Amy be like: nice casserole. Now let me explain, how it is all about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
And her "therapist" be like: nice wallet. Let me keep telling you what you want to hear and milk you out of all your money.
I would want to have that therapist investigated for any corruption or scandals.
Maybe Amy’s therapist works for BetterHelp.
@@ChiditheLitleo667 That tracks with their history of unlicensed therapists and hacks who try to do illegal shit to milk people for every penny possible.
For the joke gift story, I can summarize the family in one quote from the Simpsons.
"Come back here! I'm not through demeaning you!"
I had a friend that couldn't bring any food home at all. His severely obese step father would eat it all, and i mean everything. When groceries were bought, the stepfather would immediately start to binge eat EVERYTHING. When my friend brought home personal food, he'd lock it in his room, that also had a lock on the door. It never worked. Stepfather would break into his room to get the food. The family would go hungry because the Stepfather refused therapy and wouldn't control himself. Then my friends mother would beg my buddy for money to feed the family, but the Stepfather would then try to eat all that food too.
Dude, just duuude. I don't have the words.
That's when you start spiking the food. Exlax, ghost peppers, worse.
@joeschmo622 Nah, just keep bringing home junk food high in cholesterol. The problem will sort itself out the natural way sooner or later.
The dad in the last story is likely that coworker who eats everyone else's lunch.
For the joke gift story...did they FORGET to get her a real gift and tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal in an attempt to gaslight her?
Nahhhh op is the butt of their "jokes"..
I think "forgetting" to get them an actual gift would be the best case scenario. Judging by their reactions to OP, though... I doubt there was ever any intention of giving anything real at all.
@@luvondarox It's not just that, the gifts they wanted were given to other family members in front of them.
They gave the gifts OP wanted to other family members so i think it was just a cruel prank and her family is now upset that OP is upset that she was victim of there horrible "joke"
@@luvondarox i pointed this up above. I think the family slipped up and showed their true colors. The five siblings have an average of two years between births and OP was both eight years after child five. I think she is the unwanted, accidental pregnancy no one wanted and had to deal with it her whole life. This Christmas was just the year where their true thoughts about her finally came out.
The Eating story, the husband is basically Patrick in the episode where he eats his own chocolate bar and then turns on SpongeBob saying “you ate my only food, now I’m gonna starve.” While panning down to reveal a very overstuffed belly
Last story: OP says in the comments that the food issues stem from being in foster care. Presumably he was in a group home and the other kids would get to all the food first and he was left hungry. Also they’re his step kids. Not that that makes it ok but at least there’s a valid reason.
She also said he’s put on about 70lbs in the last 6 months. Dude needs intensive therapy asap or OP needs to kick him to the curb.
Yeah, mama needs to put the safety of her kids first. Her husband is a threat to their health.
Damm i had me fair share of ED's but even i didn't put on 70lbs in 6 months and never stole food from kids if he continues like that he will not only hurt himself but his loved ones
The Stepfather is killing himself with his out of control eating. If’s he’s not morbidly obese yet, he will be shortly, without any intervention. Even gaining 70 lbs. in 6 months, on top of already being morbidly obese, is a lot! If you weigh 400 lbs and go up to 470 in 6 months, that’s a lot! Dude is foisting misery, pain, disease, and premature death onto himself. I feel really sorry for his family. The mom needs to kick him out!
While I sympathize with food insecurities, there's absolutely no reason to take food away from a child.
@@MyInnerWeirdo yup..he’s doing to them exactly what was done to him in foster care.
Story 2: That family is a bunch of fartwhistles. It’s one thing to throw in one or two jokes amongst actual gifts. But that was straight up bullying. Honestly about halfway through I would’ve stopped and refused to open any more.
Lol fartwhistles
Yeah, they clearly planned to do this to OP. Wtaf!? No one thought that was a cruel thing to do? No one thought it was wrong to accept her gifts while intentionally giving her garbage!?
I've always felt that a gift is a good way to tell someone how you feel about them. A joke gift can work for that purpose very well. I gave a joke gift to my mom once. She was convinced she was getting something she wanted and was excited for but she actually got something she wanted even more and didn't think she would ever be able to get again. She was in tears (of joy) over it. And it wasn't anything extravagant, it cost me like 10 bucks and a day of searching. It says I paid attention and cared enough to get you something special. This said nothing like that. It says we don't give a shit about you. Damn I'm getting triggered by this. This is one of the most cruel things I have heard. This channel is full of horrible stories of violence, abuse and cruelty but at least with those stories, you could see it coming. These were horrible people doing horrible things. This is her whole family that she thought loved and appreciated her. If I were that boyfriend, I'd be calling them up to let them know what pieces of excrement I considered them.
The food insecure husband: OK? TALK TO YOUR THERAPIST
I've dealt with SEVERE food insecurity and i developed anorexia due to low self esteem while i couldn't afford food. He has a therapist, he needs to get them to help him.
Yeah but he's refusing to do the work. Unless he's institutionalized, what the therapist is doing is all she or he can do. What op to do is put her children before her husband's mental health. Because he's going to damage his children. Because he's emotionally abusive, he's emotionally blackmailing. He's expecting herpes to do all the emotional labor for him and his mental health issues. He's refusing to get help and to help. He's getting he's refusing to listen. This man is not healthy and she needs to get her kids away from her.
@@LLandS18 you're not wrong
I'm still in recovery from AN, and this story really grinds my gears. He's abusive, takes food away from his children who need it, whilst he doesn't. He's not trying to get better, he says it's pointless, but he'll gladly use the terms he learned in therapy as a weapon to take more food from his kids. He is a monster.
I went the other way. When I think money is going to be tight (which I admit I'm a bit paranoid about) my instinct is to eat NOW while I can still afford food. Twice in my life, I have had so little to spend on food after paying my other bills that I was losing weight I didn't have to lose. There's a word for that, and if it goes on for too long, things get really bad.
The Dad eating food, was also common in my family.
He grew up having very little to eat, so he has little to no self control when it comes to eating food. He eats everything he can and then naps.
This lead me and my sister to allways eat every snack my mother bought immedeatly, because if we left it, father would've eaten it.
This obviously lead to me having very little self control when it comes to food. I'm working on it, but it is hard.
If I cook for 2 days, I usually eat it in 1 day and feel bad. But I'd never steal or ask for food of others. And I allways share.
I'm fat, but not selfish
*1st Story:* The dad played favourites & lost. If I were in OP's shoes, I'd be asking that sperm donor & wicked stepmom how they're going to make up an entire childhood's worth of preferential treatment as well as the 12 years of no contact.
When you play favourites, _everyone_ eventually loses.
Story 2: their mad because their punching bag left, and are mad that op got what they wanted , I think Op should only give the dersley minimum of gifts to her family ranging from tissues to moldy old sock
Actually better, a donation has been made in your name to the Red Cross, or some other charity of your choosing.
Random but..
I read the last part really fast and said "moldy oldy sock" out loud.
Used toilet paper sounds more fitting to me.
Making socks moldy is too much effort, and tissues are too useful because they could use them to wipe their crocodile tears.
Just regift the jokes. The exact same jokes. Every year, forever. Make sure to bundle them with a cd-mix highlight reel of the families reactions to her not liking the gifts when SHE got them.
Keep the finished video in your camera roll, so when a family member inevitably complains about it you can clip their words and send them right back.
The reason I’d do this, is because this isn’t even reversing the situation. OP got EXCLUSIVELY prank gifts. And not just prank gifts, gifts where the prank was that she thought sue got something she wanted but it was actually given to someone else.
By regifting their exact pranks back, You’ve eliminated the source of cruelty because it doesn’t apply to them, and are LITERALLY doing the *exact same thing THEY did,* except they are probably still getting at least *1* real gift from someone else. So even if they do decide to give someone else exclusively prank gifts, they can’t call you out on it because at least yours wasn’t cruel, and they did it to you first.
Just do this every year until they apologize, and respond to any flack EXCLUSIVELY with the highlight reel. They dug their hole by making those excuses, so if those excuses are good enough for you they should be good enough for them. And if they aren’t you’ll know the truth.
This will inevitably result in 1 of 2 outcomes, and it is entirely dependent on whether or not they actually love OP. If they do love her, they will eventually get the point and apologize. But if they don’t and this WAS deliberate, they will RAGE at having their own words used against them. Because those words *are* disrespectful, so OF COURSE they’d get pissed having it thrown back at them.
Story One: NTA
Why did the Dad side with the StepMom and his StepDaughter instead of ACTUALLY defending his son from the bullies?!
Straight up favoritism is what the Dad was playing!
And NOW that Diana’s dead and gone, he thinks he can try and BEG and CRY to OP to “come back and be MY child again!”
The Dad WILLINGLY chose to abandon his son, turn against him, enable his step family’s bullying and emotional abuse, played the favorites game with his “Golden Child” step daughter and even went as far as to telling the cousin that she “Was more than welcome to keep him”.
But once Diana’s gone forever, he SUDDENLY decides that OP has an “obligation to come home and make things right with each other”.
What an ABSOLUTE DOUCHEY SCUMBAG!
He decided to reject OP like garbage, he lost ALL RIGHTS to be OP’s Dad the MOMENT he rejected him as his son.
The Dad and Tina can go “F” themselves, and I hope Diana’s burning in hell for her abusive bullying actions!
Story Two: NTA
OP’s family treated OP like a MAJOR JOKE with their “pranks”.
Those aren’t pranks, that’s straight up bullying.
What kind of family gives their family member garbage gifts and say “It’s JUST a PRANK, girl! GET OVER IT!”.
At this point, I think OP should just cut ALL TIES from that so called family and far away from their toxicity!
The family are AHs!
Story 1: NTA. OP isn’t a spare child that the father can remember now that his golden child is gone.
That last story the guy has the same energy as the guy that was psychotic about mustard in the other guy that was psychotic about pizza
YES YES
I was thinking about the spouse with major gambling debts who eats all the food OP cooks and then spends 25-30 allegedly for lunch
Story 3: I had someone like that who took me doing something mundane as a slight against her. A girl in school who somehow thought that me quietly reading a book during playtime was me rejecting her as a friend...🤷♀️
Story 2: I went through something similar when the Nintendo DS came out. My family got it for me for my birthday, but in the box it came in was 2 decks of cards. I did get a bit upset, but one of my mom's friends actually held onto it until the joke wasn't funny anymore, then handed it to me. OP's family is just toxic, greedy and mean. Hope they don't contact those bullies again.
For story 1, I would give the stepmother 4.5 but I would definitely give the father 5 out of 5. Until a blended family actually has time to blend, there's always that transition when the steps (parents & kids) stick together but for a father to throw away his own son and go all in with the stepchild is unforgivable. I ended a 5 year relationship (1 yr engaged) when my fiancee told me that she couldn't accept my 2 kids. She wanted it to be the 4 of us (me, her and her 2), not the 6 of us. It broke her kids', and my kids', hearts because they actually got along. I went out of my way to make sure all 4 knew they mattered to me. But I told her right from the beginning, it was a package deal with me. I asked her if she was sure about how she felt ... no chance of it changing and when she said she'd felt that way since the day I introduced them, I packed our stuff and was out of the house within two hours. I'll give her 0 buttholes for how she felt but 3 for hiding her feelings from me for 5 years.
Those arent even proper gag gifts. They have to be singlular per person, and they shouldn't be fake outs!
Gaudy ear rings for the straitlaced uncle, an elephant jock strap for the grandpa, weird ridiculous gifts that everyone, including the receiver, will laugh at.
Exactly, they should be goofy, not malicious facsimiles that're exposed as fakes upon opening them
The only way that would have made up for it was to put a check for 1-2k in the dictionary.
Story 2: one Christmas, my dad and I pranked my brother by taking the LEGO set he wanted and put it inside of an empty bigger LEGO set box to make it seem like we ordered the wrong one. The whole family, including my brother, laughed when they realized the prank. This is how it should go if you want to joke around; a harmless joke where everyone laughs, including the one being pranked. OP’s family are just insensitive bullies
The last story about op who had to fight with her deadbeat and abusive and controlling husband is that she needs to divorce him and take the kids and the house and leave him with nothing
It also stands out to me that they gave Op's real gifts to other family members. They bought what she wanted, could have given it to her, but chose to make her watch other people open it. That's just too cruel
Story 2:
“Mom spent new years being sad”
Well OP spent CHRISTMAS being sad and they were told to basically get over it. So, mom needs to just get over it. They ruined Christmas for themselves.
They didn't appreciate OP's prank New Year's gift?
Yup nothing like being personally insulted and gaslighted to bring on the spirit of the season.
Yup nothing like being personally insulted and gaslighted to bring on the spirit of the season.
*3rd Story:* Depression certainly _explains_ Amy's behaviour, but it doesn't _excuse_ it.
I'm not even sure it explains it. Sure, maybe feeling more insecure out her cooking, but the elaborate, obsessive motives she's made up about OP? Nope.
it also doesn’t explain it whatsoever. she seems to have a personality/attachment disorder, to be honest.
Story 2 ungrateful for what? She didn't get anything but essentially a message that her family doesn't feel the need to do anything nice for her but will gladly take gifts from her and eachother. To have the audacity to gloat about the gifts they have and then be like "why dont you like yours sweetie?" It's insane her dad is especially trash to say "you have next Christmas to get the gifts you want" hate trash families like this. Like to make it worse how the hell do they not feel guilty af not giving op any real gift, but receiving a real gift and not feeling guilty. Like I'd feel guilty as hell of I jut got people joke gifts and someone got a real gift for me
Story 2: not only is OP NTA, I would've never spent another Christmas with my family again if they did this to me.
"Gifts" can be sent through UPS or the parcel service of your choosing.
Christmas, birthdays, etc. Nothing until sincere apologies and atonement provided
someone commented an update. The golden child convinced everyone the prank is what OP wanted. The brother finally clued in, apologized to OP and dug deeper about the golden child and found out about what the sis did. When she was called out, the golden child doubled down and the mask came off. Evereyone except her apologized and made it up to OP
Can we take a moment to talk about how awesome cousin Shayla is for getting OP out of that toxic family and continuing to support him though his recovery and moving forward in his life?
Shayla is truly the hero in this story.
11:05 I don't know if Amy has a terrible therapist - I think it's more likely that Amy is giving the therapist an incomplete picture, and/or taking the therapist's advice out of context. Unfortunately, a therapist doesn't really have the means to verify what their client tells them, so if the client isn't on the level, the therapist can end up reinforcing their bad behavior. (I recently had to cut an old friend out of my life for just that reason, and I guess I'm still a little sensitive about it.)
I’m thinking Amy actually isn’t seeing a therapist.
My guess is that Amy hears what she wants when the therapist gives her advice, not what the therapist actually _says_
I have a good feeling the “dad”, “step-sister” and “step-mom” all hated OP just cause they existed in the same space as them
Nah, my guess is that the stepmom hated that OP was the product of, and a reminder of, her husband's prior relationship, so she dripped poison in her husband's ear about him. That sealed it for OP to get zero backup when the stepsister treated him like crap for supposedly upending her life just by existing. Good riddance to all three.
Story 2: It's so weird that OP's family is calling her ungrateful. She should be grateful for ... what exactly? For the privilege of being given twelve garbage gifts? The privilege of being the butt of the entire family's joke? She didn't get any gifts, there's nothing to be grateful for.
Also, it boggles my mind OP's mom bought the book OP wanted, took the cover off to trick OP, but gave tbe actual book to SIL?! Did mom ask for the cover back to give to SIL I wonder? They aren't even funny jokes, they are just dumb.
That was my question!
The only way that it would have made up for it was to put a check for 1-2k in the dictionary.
Their just upset OP isn’t grateful for essentially being told their garbage and their gifts from now on will be garbage
@@javaman7199doubt they would have done that
Last story: It could also be a power play. My mom would be out when we'd get home but had left dinner in the oven. My step father often had already eaten it, even his own kid's food, and he had his own food to eat. He knew it wasn't for him - he just didn't care. We didn't go hungry - there was bread and tins etc - but who needs to eat an entire casserole or curry by themselves?
Did you tell your mother? And are they still together?
Story 1: OP's dad threw away a living person while OP threw away a dead relationship after having his heart ripped out.
1st story: obviously NTA but damn the father pissed me off even more when he not only kicked out OP but also went with the whole "Don't do this. She doesn't deserve this" nonsense. Like, bruh, you made your bed now lie in it.
2nd story: NTA. Pranks shouldn't be done on Christmas. That's just pure cruelty.
3rd Story: NTA. Amy needs to get her head out of her ass.
Final story: NTA. The husband is just plain greedy
Story 1: I feel this is another "You're an AH, but the other side is far worse and deserved it."
It's a primo example of how sometimes being a jerk is not only completely justified, but also the appropriate response. Just because he was neglectful and abusive doesn't mean that their family member didn't die, it just means he was absurdly stupid for tryna go to his victim for sympathy.
Basically: “He’s an asshole, but he’s right”
You just basically said op is not the AH😂😂😂
He's not a victim, though. He mistreated Diana and then was shocked when she was a bitch back. He alienated himself and then celebrated the death of the little girl he isolated. OP is a straight up .monster
In summary, OP is a justifiable AH.
For context: I have multiple mental health issues - most of which started about 30 years ago, I've had a ton of therapy, and I'm usually in a good place with it even though it's not realistic for me to ever expect a 'cure' for it.
A trend I've noticed in multiple stories here and also elsewhere is people being overly sympathetic toward people who are 'going through something' with their mental health - or are simply unsure of what is appropriate to do when they're being treated poorly by someone who is mentally ill. Well, let me tell you: If someone has a mental health problem, all that means is that it may not be fair for you to blame them for their behavior, but that's it. Even if someone else can't be held properly responsible for their behavior that doesn't mean that you need to pretend that it doesn't hurt you if it's hurting you, or that you're a bad person for taking whatever measures you need in order to stop them from hurting you. You're not a bad person if you need distance.
It's also important to remember that just because someone is mentally ill that doesn't mean that they can't also be an entitled jerk at the same time - though it's good to be aware that sometimes what seems like entitled behavior may not be. But either way, even if they legitimately have a problem that doesn't mean that you need to cater to their every demand - it's okay to prioritize yourself and your needs, this does not make you a bad person.
Some people, knowing all this, choose to put up with a mentally ill person and try to help them anyway, and they're absolute saints. Sometimes that's exactly what the person needs and it helps them immeasurably, but sometimes they end up being enablers, so that's a tricky thing - something to do only with caution, and the outcome is uncertain. There is nothing wrong with you if you decide to give that a try, but there's equally nothing wrong with you if you decide that's not something you want to do.
Story 1: NTA. Screw being "more understanding". OP's girlfriend should know better than to tell OP that.
Also, I am curious as to why Dianne tried to contact OP several times. Was she trying to torment him further?
Most likely considering she seemed to hate OP’s very existence
We'll never know because she's dead and I wouldn't call her parents reliable sources of information about her, cause they would definitely lie if she WAS trying to torment him more. So there's really no reason to speculate. It doesn't matter.
There is the small off chance she was calling to make amends and to apologize because she felt guilty over what happened but, who knows her intentions were taken to the grave when she died.
How tf do you let your kid spread a rumor about your son, then get mad at HIM when she gets caught? That shit makes no sense. Then you tell him he can leave for all you care, then call him for comfort when your beat dies? What the hell?
Guess golden child gets full immunity from punishments
Story 1: honestly, OP isn't an asshole. His family basically ignored him his whole life until he was essentially kicked out and didn't acknowledge his existence until she died. Major "you made your bed now sleep in it" vibes. Deserved.
As someone with food insecurity. Op is nta. Yes. When i was a teenager i did shit like this. And i was ashamed when i did and tried my best to improve. Im not sure what kind of food insecurity this guy is talking about specifically. But for me. The fear is the food will be wasted. Basically every second the food is sitting in the fridge. I become more and more terrified that it will have to be thrown away. I have my good days and my bad days. On my bad days i cant do anything to get my mind off of it. I have to eat it all to protect it from being wasted. I live alone now. And yes i am receiving therapy.
Based on the level of self-knowledge/awareness your showing in this post, you are working hard at therapy! Good job! Keep up the good work!
I wish you absolutely nothing but the best on your journey of healing. You have self awareness and the drive to get better! You got this! 🫶
Story 3, OP should spend future christmas with her BFs family the next year(s)
Story 1: Dad was reaching out not because of love and shame but to make himself look good. Look at me, reuniting with my son. Nope, not happening.
Story 3 - I have depression and don’t think “how can I help you?” Is what people say to manipulate you and I am never that randomly horrible to my friends 😅 depression doesn’t do that, I’m not even flagged as depressed because I’m always cheerful around friends
Anyone notice how the sister in the second story not only got the MacBook but also was the one given the book that OP wanted? I think there’s some favoritism ops too broken down to truly recognize but subconsciously thinks is wrong
No, mom gave the book to the sister-in-law, not the sister
Right. So the “joke” was her thinking she got a book she wanted. Yet the mom literally gave it as a real gift to someone else. Not OP as in “ok just kidding, here’s the actual present”. That’s deliberately cruel and that family is shyte. They got mad because OP wouldn’t allow them to continue to abuse her. I hope she never sees them again.
What Dabney also didn't say(Or I didn't hear) is that the book was the **only** thing she had asked for.
someone commented an update. The golden child convinced everyone the prank is what OP wanted. The brother finally clued in, apologized to OP and dug deeper about the golden child and found out about what the sis did. When she was called out, the golden child doubled down and the mask came off. Evereyone except her apologized and made it up to OP
@@TheMadagascarqueen ew, that's so nasty of that child. I do not care that the golden child was older, that's childish bs
OP in the 1st, my heart hurts for her! The whole family bullied her on Christmas and had the nerve to be mad at her pain. I do joke gifts with my kids each year as well. This year we gifted our son with tickets to go see an NBA game. The print out of his ticket was folded up small and placed inside a ring box that was placed inside a pop tart box that was placed inside a bigger box. He had a total of 6 boxes to open before getting to the prize. That's a joke gift.
Story 3: I find it hard to believe anyone has a cherished family recipe for green bean casserole. It was basically invented to sell cream of mushroom soup and only gets eaten around the holidays. Amy needs to get over herself.
right? like one of the easiest recipes in the world..open 2 cans mix it together heat in oven ..throw some crunchy stuff on top..done
Story 3: Heh, Amy must've gotten her "therapist" from betterhelp.
good one - thank you for the laugh I needed that.
And with all the money they drain from her account, she can only afford to make green bean casseroles😢
Frankly, Im glad the sister isnt alive too and Im glad that the dad is upset about it. I hope the dad realizes he lost both of his children
He's made it clear he's only ever had one child, and she wasn't even his. He only reached out to OP to make himself look good and feel better about his fuck ups
-OP! Your step-sister died!
-...okay? So the maggots in the ground won't be hungry for a while. Good to know. Thanks bye.
@@BadassHater1 not even maggots deserve her, from the sounds of things
Agreed.
1000%
So dad kicks OP out in favor of the golden child and expect OP to still want a relationship? DAD IS THE A-HOLE
He’s not even worthy to be called a dad at that point
Story 2. That poor girl got gas lite to the point where she thinks she's wrong for being hurt.
I’m beginning to wonder if she’s the primary target for the pranks and this time everyone took it too far?
@@lorilancaster5917 Probably.
I’m sure this was autocorrect, but the term is “gas light.” As in the light gas-lamps create (which is where the term comes from). “Lite” is the free version of an app. They’re both words that are read the same, so it’s an easy mistake to make.
@@RealCoolstriker64 I did get autocorrected. You can thank Bard for that one. Thanks mate!
@@lorilancaster5917 they way the family acted, I am going with she is the youngest child and the target of abuse.
Story 1: I would tell that father to kick rocks. He made his choice a looong time ago, and it certainly wasn’t OP. Abuse and abandon your own child simply because you want to play favorites? That’s an automatic well deserved first-class ticket to hell in my book.
Story 1: Diana and subsequently OPs dads behavior are the reason why dad didn't recognize the voice of his own son. And the audacity of to say "don't do this to her (sister/Diana)" is presumptuous.
I had food insecurities as a child, now as an adult, i give my family food first and my husband ,i don't eat before they do!! I'll do my dang hardest that they eat,and are full before i am.. i used to have to hide my food, or steal just to eat.. This behavior that op's husband has, isn't it.. he is using his behavior as a hurtful way to eat everything he wants.. He has food issues alright,but it's not about insecurities, it's about food craving.. He is an absolute moron, for not making his kids and wife first...
Story 2: I hate hearing about families that do joke gifts, but make it all about disappointing the receiver instead of making them laugh. My family does joke gifts every year BUT we do it separately from our regular gifts. I’m the oldest grandkid (younest generation in my family right now) and typically my grandparents would get us jokes gifts and in recent years we’ve been getting them joke ones back. This is seperate from our actual gifts we give and it’s meant to confuse not abuse. Last year I used 12 boxes and wrapped them up inside of eachother and in the smallest box was a piece of peppermint with a note that said “your breath stinks here you go.” EVERYONE laughed and everyone still got real gifts.
Last story: My dad would eat the food off our plates if we got up from the table for any reason. My brothers and I to this day eat fast like someone’s going to take it from us. We’re in our 40’s.
The story about op who got joke gifs is that she needs to cut off All forms of communications with her deadbeat family because the parents where showing clear favoritism to the rest of the family while op got shitty gifts from her deadbeat parents
Story 1: your father even while grieving actually try to make it seem like you were the problem and that you needed to fix it. He doesn't get to decide to bring you back after he lost one child and he doesn't get to be upset at you for not grieving the way he wants she was not your sister she wasn't even family the way she treated you and the way you're punished you even when he knew she was in the wrong. Maybe you could have been more sensitive about it but so could your father all the ares you were being bullied by her, but instead he told a family member to take you and go he lost any opportunity or write to make things better and he clearly blames you for it.
I had a great joke gift for my dad this Christmas. He REALLLY loves peanut butter M&M's, so for Christmas he got an empty box of them. I put a bottle of alcohol in the box instead of the M&M's. his reply was "I mean, I'm not complaining about the alcohol, but what happened to the 24 packets of M&M's? Where did this box come from?" to which he opened his NEXT gift; 24 individually wrapped M&M packets. This is how you obtain the funny points, not emotionally abusing people.
The only real joke gift my family ever gave to anyone by those standarts, was when my mom, my sisters and I cooporated to give my dad some words he used a lot. Directly translated, the words he used mean "a couple on a lid". It means to get a couple of punches to the top of the head. He would say it as a joke, so my mom found a lid to a container and asked me to draw a couple. Then she taped the couple to the lid and we put it in a big box, which we wrapped. We gave it to him for his birthday and then gave him the real gift afterwards (I don't remember what the real gift was anymore). My isisters and I gave him another joke gift at Christmas, some sweets wrapped in ductape. The thing with the sweets was that we knew they are our dad's favorite sweets, so even if the wrapping was a pain, he was happy with the gift.
The last story reminds me of my dad. He was one of ten kids, and from what he told us dinner growing up was a first come first serve basis. His Mom would only make so much food and when it ran out that was it. This led to my dad having a habit of over serving himself at meals. He once took all portions of a side even though there was 1 for everyone and he didn't realize they were for sharing. He eventually got better at actually meals and shared, but he would eat any and all leftovers within a day unless we specifically told him to leave some for us. I'm pretty sure this is a ingrained defense mechanism in fear of going hungry and over compensating, however it sounds like the guy in the story isn't accepting its a problem and just being a selfish arsehole to his wife and kids.
Story #1: Sure, OP was completely shat on by both his sperm donor, the stepmonster and the stepmonsters' daughter. He moved out and left it all behind. But now that stepsis is no longer with us, suddenly, Mr. Sperm Donor says it's time to come home and mend things... it's too little too late...
Story #2: In what world is OP ungrateful when she went out of her way to get everyone gifts they'd like and got nothing in return? Sure, one or two joke gifts would've been fine if followed by proper gifts but just joke gifts when everyone else got regular gifts? And they say she ruined Christmas for getting rightfully upset? It's best if she spends the next Christmases with her BF's family, at least they care.
Story #3: I'm sorry but did Amy get her therapist from Better Help by any chance? She thought she could make better casserole than OP, got her chance and failed. And now she thinks OP's out to get her specifically and has been antagonistic for the past years with regards to the parties and the damn casserole and is outright hostile towards OP. But when OP tries to talk it over, suddenly it's a misunderstanding and OP is the one overreacting...
Nope, depression is no excuse. NTA OP, and I don't blame her for wanting to miss the party outright...screw everyone else, including her partner...
Story 2: joke gifts are only joke gifts if they are then followed by real gifts. Not giving better gifts after the joke passed is a dick move and not funny. ESPECIALLY when the whole ass family does it to one person. Personally, I would not have just left. I would have gone around and taken back the gifts I gave and then left. Then told them. “Haha, the joke is on you. You thought I got you a nice gift but actually it’s mine!”
Story 2: tell the family to pound sand. They gave her nothing and now they are angry
" how dare you not like the nothing we gave you" op piece of garbage family....
The only way that would have made up for it was to put a check for 1-2k in the dictionary.
When my autistic brother still lived with us, he would regularly eat entire family portions per meal. We were incredibly poor, with a single mother trying to house and feed 3 kids. As soon as he'd come home from school, he'd eat an entire bag of pizza pillows, would microwave and eat an entire lasagna, would completely drink those huge family sized bottles of soda on the rare occasions we could afford one. He would eat a weeks worth of groceries in 2 or 3 days. If I ever had leftovers I saved, they'd be gone. I went many, many days of my childhood with nothing to eat because of him. There was no controlling him, no lock or hiding place could keep him from your food. He would get super defensive if you confronted him about it. "I was hungry" was his excuse. He had no concept of portions or that other people in the house would be hungry, if he saw a food item when he was hungry, he ate until he felt completely full. There was one time where he even physically beat me because I was so hungry from coming home from school (I couldn't afford to eat at school, the school didn't supply any way to make food there like a microwave, and there wasn't anything I could've packed anyway and there wasn't free meals for us poor folks in our county.), and he had eaten my tiny little portion of last night's dinner I had saved off my plate for the next day. He finally moved away when he was near 30, and the financial strain that was taken off our shoulders after he moved away was unreal. (O spent a fortune in gasoline driving him to/from work because he would only work at a museum an hour away, so while je sat in the car on his phone all hunky dory, either my mom or I would spend about 2 hours a day commuting him. We needed the money that he made since he spent it on himself for food, so we couldn't push the issue otherwise he wouldn't work.) When he moved away, he told us we were horrible people for "never supporting him" and went no contact. I do miss having a family, but it's such a huge strain off my shoulders not having him here anymore. I feel for the poor wife in that last story, she's stuck with her problem looks like.
I feel like the therapist probably actually said "She's going to say this, and you're going to feel like it's manipulation, but it is not." And Amy misinterpreted it.
Story 3:
Absolute BS. I’ve had depression for YEARS. That’s not depression. She may have depression but it isn’t causing that behavior. She’s just using it as an excuse. Honestly I’d warn the group that either that stopped or I’d leave
For the casserole story it wouldn’t surprise me if the sister was lying to her therapist, doesn’t seem far fetched
I’m thinking she isn’t seeing a therapist, self-diagnosed herself, and is doing whatever while telling spouse she is “in therapy”.
Story 2: they always say it’s the thought that counts, in this instance the thought of the “gift” was how to cause maximum emotional damage, and offer nothing to ease the blow. And they did it 12 times? Absolutely disgusting
I had a joke gift once, it was fallowed by a real gift. That’s how joke gifts work
The only way that would have made up for it was to put a check for 1-2k in the dictionary.
Personally, giving Diana 2.5 out of 5 buttholes is too lenient. I agree with the parents' score but for Diana I give her a 5 out of 5. She hated him for "ruining her only child status" and nearly got him expelled (I'm assuming she probably made a false SA accusation towards him).
1000% facts.. Diana got her just deserts and I feel no sympathy for the stepturd and the "dad" for losing the demon....
Story 2: If I had received such humorous gifts alone I think I would have burst into tears, said what I thought of each family member, offended for the rest of my life, and then taken the first, better train to my boyfriend's family with him. It was terrible as well as premeditated.
Story 3: it’s funny how Amy thinks Op Will manipulate her when she’s literally doing the exact same thing to everyone, over a casserole lol.
Having depression or any other mental illness/condition does NOT give you the right to treat other people badly! I have anxiety, but do I verbally attack and send nasty texts to my friend who bakes way better cookies than I do? No I don’t.
Story 2: The right way to do it- I handed my mam a bottle bag (the tall skinny bags for wine bottles), held the top and bottom, she looked inside and she was gasping for air for a solid 5 mins until she pulled out a 2 inch bottle of Baileys. When we all had a good laugh until I gave her the actual full sized bottle. We still laugh till our sides hurt talking about it today.
Story 2: The fact that OP didn't go 'No contact' is an atrocity.