r/AmITheA--Hole for Calling Cops on My Mother-In-Law?
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:06 I called the police on my mother in law
3:29 Called out my exes new wife for being unemployed
6:17 Father is tired of paying for weddings
7:27 How much money needed for a successful marriage based on wedding cost
8:28 Interrupting my husbands work and not getting it
12:39 Forced to sit on my husbands lap at Thanksgiving
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Props for the hubby in the first story being like "If you wanna press charges against my mom, go for it i got your back"
Hope he also defends her from the rest of his family
Nah thats literally LOWER then the BARE MINIMUM 😭😭
@@oi2715 But it’s, unfortunately, way too common for people to unconditionally support their relatives over their partner, especially if the relatives are their parents. It SHOULD be lower than bare minimum to support a victim of something over their accused(especially with evidence).
@@gaxalee7392 im very aware of that. My point still stands. Never lower your standards because reality is grim. Good men exist.. Out there, somewhere.. like.. a few.. ANYWAY. And i say men because i never see the same praise when women take their husbands side in these family affairs.
I mean, it’s really rough for SOs that has a partner who has issues with their family. For the partner they’re not really losing anything except someone they don’t like, but for the SO they’re losing one family member or another, and ones that have good relationships with their family wouldn’t just cut it off like that. This husband probably has dealt with a lot of shit with his mother and was just done with her, but it’s easy for a better family relationship to change the husband’s stance in this same situation.
Agreed, now THAT is a shiny spine, OP's fiancé from the last story could learn a thing or two from him and stand up for OP rather than cow tow to his blatant crap stirring mom [Seriously, what sane person invite's their kid's ex to Thanksgiving dinner. I'd understand if it were a kind gesture but clearly OP's future MIL is trying to start something] Which if that's the case while OP is definitely NTA [and a mad lass to boot], she should probably rethink the marriage and just let the floozy ex keep him.
In that last story, I am willing to bet money that the mother in law is desperately trying to get her son back with her ex.
And I bet the reason her husband didn't care about her sitting in her lap was because he knows about his mom's bullshit and just enjoyed his wife's petty response. I sure as hell would have.
Add to that he got to have his beautiful wife in his lap for a couple hours, win win!!
My thoughts exactly
It's fine to sit back and watch drama (I do this all the time when people watching in public or watching idiotic relatives squabble), but what is not fine is to sit back and enjoy your wife being humiliated in petty little ways so when confronted, your mom could plead ignorance.
This sort of cowardice will eventually lead to divorce. So, good luck prioritizing your entertainment over the person you chose to love above all else. All it does is with every encounter, your wife has a little bit more resentment towards you and a little bit less love.
If you were in your wife's shoes and her ex was being practically shoved down her throat, you would be outraged and demand your wife dealt with the disrespect, and not be fine with your wife sitting there with metaphorical popcorn watching your humiliation like a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Besides, if I did have a wife, in my lap would be the place where I would want her the most. I mean, perhaps not when eating, but I'd make it work if it means getting a point across.
Yeah the story isn't too clear about the husband but I'm willing to bet he just decided to let OP handle the situation and was pleased with the awesomebomb she dropped.
MIL: "Oh sorry, Julissa came last minute and took your seat, there's nothing you can d-"
OP: **Sits on her husband's lap**
MIL: *"You weren't supposed to do that."*
Hahah right. While I think it probably made the dinner awkward as hell as was the reaction from guests but that isn't the wife's fault when the MIL and ex had such smarmy attitudes..I can't decide if it was childish or just ballsy of the wife. I would have felt too bizarre sitting on hubby and would have probably gone the route of grabbing another chair and being like _scuse me!_ while pushing it up against ex forcing her to back up and away from the table giving her just a tiny bit of room.
@@Mrs.Self.Distruct there wasn't any room at the table, a cot to OP they were all packed together so she would have had to sit somewhere else
@@dimsufferer9951 that's why I said take with force hehe
I think the husband secretly enjoyed that
The MIL was likely hoping the OP would just leave and have her son get back with the ex
Last story: Maybe the husband knew how his wife was going to react, and was just happy with her sitting on his lap during dinner 🤷🏼
Man was like win win lol
Yeah, part of me felt like he knew his wife wasn't going to just take that and was just waiting for the inevitable drama
That's what I thought too. The husband isn't complaining or scolding OP for what she did so he was probably OK with his wife sitting on his lap.
If that is the case. Then it was the best way to tell his Mom and Ex to stop. You can’t feed the trolls, right.
That's what I thought. The husband was being supportive in helping the wife reassert dominance over the MIL and Julissa.
Maybe the husband too was tired of these shenanigans, tired of having his exe thrown at him by MIL with exe's cooperation and was happy to participate in this grand gesture by his wife to also reassert dominance in his life and his relationships.
---
(assert dominance sounds a bit too aggressive here but I'm sure that is what MIL and Julissa are doing even if OP and husband are not - also, for want of a better phrase (not had my coffee yet) I'm using it).
Last story. I get the feeling the husband didn't want to bring the chair because he was tired of Julissa and his mother as well.
They tried to assert their dominance and they got dominated by OP
Yeah probably was tired of the disrespect shown to OP. Like this has happened before because based on this they probably have something against OP and wanted to get him out of the thanksgiving dinner
I'd give the husband 0 b.h. Husband and wife relaxed, enjoyed each others company, made an excellent performance, so I guess similar situations won't happen agen.
I see 3 possibilities: 1) husband was really enjoying the lap dance. 2) Husband caught on to the subtle dis and was in favor of it as a way to rebuke mama without saying anything. 3)?Or he was caught between two strong women and was afraid to get into it. Or maybe all 3.
@@ivilivo I agree. IMHO I think that the MIL wants her son to get back together with the ex, which is why she made sure that there wouldn’t be enough chairs and her son and his ex would be sitting next to each other. Remember how OP said that once she sat in her husband’s lap, the ex and the MIL kept looking at each other and then at OP, then back again? This says to me that the two of them planned this in advance, but were unprepared for OP’s response. That’s why they both ran off to the bathroom. Their little scheme backfired and they couldn’t handle it. That’s my theory at least.
1st story: If I was the husband and found out my mother stole from my soon to be wife, I would disown her in a heart beat. It’s so embarrassing that she took the earrings on the day of the wedding. 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
Same.
And how did she expect to get away with it? It was before the wedding. I could see her trying to get away with it after the wedding but to do it before the wedding? She had to know that the urines were going to be missed.
@@undrhil UHHH, might wanna fix the typo there-
To be honest I hear so many reddit stories where the MIL is terrible and the SO is a decent person, and I have to ask, what was the relationship with SO and their mother like before the dumb incident occurs? Did the SO barely tolerate it, or does the presence of someone else in their kids life just brings out the worst in them?
@@undrhil I think the problem is that people like the MIL really do expect to get away with it, because usually they do.
These people don't necessarily really expect to not get caught. But, they do expect to get away with it. They know that either that because they are them no one will go beyond asking if they had seen the earrings (which they can deny), or if it gets to the point that they have to admit to the theft (which they will justify as anything but theft) and return the earrings still no one will do anything beyond rolling their eyes and saying 'well, that's just MIL being MIL.' And so, either way they get away with it.
So yeah, while they might or might not think they'll be caught, they expect to get away with it because the enablers band together (as MIL's family has) and insist that the thief not be held accountable for the thief's actions.
The enablers are as bad as the people like this MIL because the enablers allow people like the MIL to continue with poor behaviour and with every instance of getting away with it people like the MIL become more power and more of a butthole to the people around them.
Buttholes suck but so do their enablers.
First story: (op added more info):
She was kicked out of the venue and we just both turned off our phones so we wouldn’t have to hear from her. My husband’s never had an amazing relationship with his mother so he was just glad his dad was there. His parents are divorced so his dad wasn’t bothered either.
Good. I'm guessing hubby was secretly hoping that OP would press charges on his mom.
So she was just there for the free food and whatever she could get her sticky fingers on anyway. Good riddance!
I think the wife in the last story did exactly what was necessary and I would not be surprised if MIL engineered for her son to sit next to his ex because MIL really wants the ex to be her DIL instead.
Also, why prioritize the ex over the wife?
@@calebjohn9810 probably because the MIL wants ops husband and his ex to get back together
@@calebjohn9810 it's really all about control over her child's life. MILs who don't respect their son's spouse and likes the ex usually means that the ex thinks like the MIL(which is why she likes her and why the ex was seemingly okay with this stunt) where the spouse knows her games and can't be manipulated, which is why MIL doesn't like her. MIL sees her as a threat to her control over her son. She doesn't want her son pulling away from her control, so she tries engineering situations like this to get her way and/or cause an issue for her son and his wife at home.
Most people think this too - according to the comments. MIL clearly likes the ex, and probably enough to not even care if her son wants to be with the ex. After all, she's the ex for some reason, right?
A power move
I’m not gonna lie, that was a clean comeback from OP in that second story
Forget the burn, that was a napalm strike
Heck with napalm, that remark was more like a nuke.
@@moosecat "You've heard of emotional damage... get ready for PSYCHOLOGICAL NUKING!"
Last story: Honestly, if I was the husband, I would be perfectly fine with my wife sitting in my lap for some petty revenge. Sounds like a win-win to me. My wife gets a nice seat and I get cuddles.
Same, but in a petty way. I would have grabbed a chair from the kitchen. And let everyone watch me push Julliela away from the table. Set her food down on the floor. And place a seat there. Then I would set next to the mom as the wife sit next to me.
@@kervinsantos5808 oh … oh that is a beautiful thought. I like the way your brain works.
@@H.P._Lovecrafts_Beloved_Cat thank you, but what OP did was still a power move.
Story 3: Daughter needs therapy. It sounds like she has some sort of trust or commitment issues that she needs to sort out before she gets married again.
Right? 3 divorces at 30 is a hot mess.
That's the third story. And I don't think so. Therapy isn't a magical solution always throwable. From the looks of it, that's not some commitment issue, she's just an unreliable cheater.
@@hiroshi7025 It's a tool, not a bandage. And people don't cheat for no reason. There's something going on in her head that makes her think this behavior is okay, and she should explore what that is.
Thank you for correcting me on the story number, though. Fixed it.
She cheated on her 2nd husband and got knocked up so her behavior in general screams poor decision making. Some people are just trashy. No amount of therapy can fix it and excusing the behavior as illness justifies the behavior.
@@NEPAAlchey Thank you. People on this channel and reddit always throw that word around for any problem.
Story 5 (Thanksgiving Dinner): Yeah, it feels like none of them actually wanted OP to be there, and used the granddaughter showing up last minute as an excuse. Otherwise, they would've dragged an extra chair.
I remember correctly from reading the story, there was no room left for another chair. My guess is the granddaughter was invited and didn't show up last minute. The MIL most likely wants Julissa and her son to get back together.
@@Icmlost yea cuz, remember julissa was seated NEXT to the husband
And, assuming she is otherwise a decent person (and not in on the plot), I feel sorry for the granddaughter. I suspect she was an unwilling participant who got dragged into MIL's and Julissa's plotting and then MIL threw the granddaughter to the dogs and put the blame for the supposedly 'missing' seat on the granddaughter 'she showed up without notice and so we had to give her your spot'. In my very large family we always made room for whoever showed up, expected guest or not, and my FOO is toxic as heck so if we could manage it anyone can.
If I were the granddaughter I would be hurt that I was viewed as a burden that had to be accommodated rather than a welcomed family member, and also angry that I got the blame for what seems to be an ongoing set of toxic behaviours by the MIL and Julissa.
edited: grammar
Story 2: NTA this is just a typical example of bullies being able to dish it out but be unable to take it. If you can't take the heat don't enter the kitchen
If you're gonna say something rude, snarky or bitchy, you're gonna get something rude thrown right back at you. It's like sticking your hand in a fire and expecting not to get burned. I can't understand the shocked pikachu face every asshole makes when they get a dose of their own medicine??
She got fucking clowned im dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
stealing valuable earrings is one level of scummyness
stealing valuable earrings that are a family heirloom are another level of scummyness
stealing them from your own daughter in law is another level of scummyness
But most of all we are forgetting that all of this happened on op's wedding day, the 9th layer of hell kind of scummyness. I would honestly press charges because this was an attempt to rob her from her big moment.
The last story, if I were the husband I'd watch to see if she needed help, but a statement like op gave would be more impactful then anything I'd probably do. If she would go get a chair I'd offer mine, but this solution and then complimenting her in private and scolding his mom in private would have been the most succesful imo.
And another layer is being explicitly told how meaningful the heirloom is on the same day you steal them
I thought the same on the last story.
AS for the earrings thing, I agree with all your layers too ... like WOW ...
But I'd press the charges specifically for the fact that it's worth so much $$$ wise [longer sentence] despite the other value because she didn't steal them because of how important they were, she stole them because of the $$$ value I'll bet. And also, the fact that she tried to say OP was lying and that she HAD to call the cops to PROVE it - says might as well press them.
Like the fact that the husband was so on board tells me it's probably not an isolated type thing with his mom ... even if it's not theft she might have a destructive behavior.
Last story: What a power move. I wouldn’t have been able to wipe the smirk off my face if I was at that dinner table. I have an aunt that is like the MIL, always pulling snide moves to establish dominance and she clearly enjoys pushing people’s buttons. From experience, it is so satisfying to take people like that down a peg. OP earned my respect on that one. 😂
Work boundaries are important. I get into this with my wife sometimes when she's off work, because I work from home and she forgets I'm working and finds it odd when I won't stop what I'm doing to do whatever unimportant thing she wants done. I also get into it with my dad and mother-in-law for the same thing. They *both* tell me it's rude to not answer the door even if I'm in a meeting. But they both like to show up unannounced. I just don't answer the door. My dad finally got the hint, mother in law not so much. "But you're home and I'm at the door". What's your point?
Too bad you don't know when they are having "naked alone time" ....bang on their door and be like y'all were so rude, you were home, why not answer, and be happy to see me when I interrupted you.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings ha! I walked in on my parents a lot when I was little. I didn't realize what they were doing until years later of course
Yea, even when you aren't actively engaged in a meeting or something else you could easily be doing 5 other things you have to concentrate on and sitting down for a visit from unannounced visitors or come empty the trash is not really respectful.
The last story is such a power move. Like, "you obviously directed my husband's ex to sit in my seat... so I'll just sit _on my husband."_ I love it, 10/10 quick response.
Honestly if I were OP, I'd ask that my husband refrain from going to any family gatherings with MIL, since it seems she wants to play matchmaker with his ex.
Story three- the wife butting in on the business meeting is basically doing the same this we saw happening all the time during covid. All the partners who are like well you're at home so you can help out. Like no I'm still working.
Rslash THANK YOU SO MUCH I was pissed at the wife in story five because you *WOULD NOT* call your husband to come blow out candles if he was working somewhere else, and you *WOULD BE* soo pissed if your husband pulled the same stunt! I was almost worried you were gonna side with op
Same i was like thank god 😅
Last story: If the mother in law is passive aggressive, it stands to reason that the son may be as well. So I read this as him just letting things happen was a passive aggressive way of supporting his wife and letting his mother stew in the mess she made without resolving it for her. I actually got a chuckle out of it. I can just see them trying to make eyes at him to get her off his lap and him just casually ignoring them like all was well with the world.
Nah fam, if you look at the original post in the comments OP says her husband thinks she and his mother are being “childish” and refuses to get involved
What about when he told his wife that his mom is still getting used to her being around despite them being together for 2 years? It seems like he was defending his mom.
For the divorces daughter story. It reminds me of another one rslash covered but from the POV of the catering business. She said this woman loved the wedding and that she'd definitely have her next wedding there. And I think it'd be hilarious if those two stories collided
That would be funny but if it was the same bride she probably wouldn't be upset that her dad agreed that there would be a next one lol
I’m sure that threats and harassment are the perfect way to convince someone to not press charges. Even her own son was fed up with her BS.
"They didn't press charges, I'd better harass them and get others to do it too" FAAFO 🙄👍
Congratulations 👏👏 you won yourself a Christmas present 🎉🎉🎁 🎁
Story 4: So you knew beforehand he was in the middle of an important meeting with clients, you saw him in the middle of the meeting and you expected him to just drop everything and say, hey what's up let's party. But he didn't so what do you do? Go up to them interrupt whatever they were talking about and ask him to go to the party, he says no he's in the middle of the meeting you knew about and you won't leave him alone until he goes. Then the family wants him to sit and eat cake.
OP you do not need to be in his line of work to understand basic manners and common sense a child would understand. Unless it's very important you do not just interrupt people while they're talking, especially an important business meeting.
And OP don't seem to understand that is very common for business meetings to take place in restaurants. It's a great way to look favorable towards a potential future client by treating them to dinner and also relaxes everyone involved and makes it easier to get to know them. It really looked like OP thought he was out doing afterwork with his colleagues instead off instead off spending time with his sister-in-law, when he was working. And the husband probably felt so bad and awkward that he was ignoring them but he had no choice.
so... what you're saying is business comes before family.
I hope they never have kids.
@@GiordanDiodato so your saying it’s completely okay to interrupt a business meeting just because your in the same vicinity? Wow. I hope you never run a business. You lack decorum.
@@GiordanDiodato It's not even that, it was a total coincidence that they ended up in the same restaurant. Heck, OP even admits she's fine with him not attending if it's about business, but because they happened to end up in the same restaurant, she decided to peer pressure him.
@@GiordanDiodato He was at work. Just because some can work from home, doesn’t mean that they are laying about doing nothing, just as how people having meetings at restaurants aren’t just “hanging with the buds”. Why would you think that the husband hates family when he is at work?
Last story, I literally thought there weren’t any more chairs available in the house, and that they expected OP to stand and eat or leave. Or eat in the living room?? But no, there WERE other chairs, and the fact NO ONE offered her one is insane. Why is the ex girlfriend even there??
There may have been other chairs, but there was no space at the table. If she did grab a chair, she would have had to eat somewhere else
Fourth story had me cringe so hard since I knew where it was going as soon as OP said that both parties were at the same restuarant. OP is DEFINITELY TA. Especially when he's IN A MEETING. Disrespectful of OP in that story.
Me screaming as I read comments and listen..HE WAS IN A BUSINESS MEETING!! XooX
I was really hoping that OP has at least waited until he finished his meeting but no, OP straight up just has no idea what “working” means
I agree she crossed the line but crossing his boundaries, but honestly, if *I* were the client, I'd be thinking "Wow... he isn't even going to go over and say hello to his FAMILY? Jerk. I don't want to work with someone who can so easily snub his family like that." Maybe that's just me, but I'd be happy to pause the meeting for five minutes to give him some family time.
@@ShelbyZealandthat's why it's a lose-lose. If he goes, he's abandoning his clients, if he doesn't, he's ignoring his family. She SHOULD have just ignored him all together, and his clients wouldn't have been the wiser either way.
I really feel bad for Op husband poor guy and honestly Also hard to believe both parties were ironically at same place idk something feels off with that
Story 5: Alot of people have had different takes based on their own experiences with their own workplaces, bosses, and clients. But what matters is what OP's husband know/thinks about his boss, workplace, and/or clients. His opinion is the most important here. Some clients/bosses and even coworkers can be really strict, and some can be much more reasonable and accepting. But OP is the one interrupting a business meeting, meeting she knew about. OP is TA.
And she was insistent too
100% agree. She knows he saw her when she came in, was it too hard for her to tell her family that he's in a business meeting with clients. Perhaps something along the lines of "I'm sure if he has time he will come over but let's not bug him, please remember he is at work and not out on a social occasion."
I saw the last story on reddit, and in an update or comment, I don't remember which, she mentioned that even if someone had grabbed a chair from the kitchen, there was physically nowhere to put in at the table, because all the chairs were packed tightly together
Damn, the "I'll help with the next one" story is the first time I audibly laughed while listening to a story in a while.
Rslash forgot to mention the serial bride cheated on her 2nd husband and got knocked up in his description of his take.
Last story: The husband knew what his mother did was a power move, especially having him next to his ex. The way she handled the situation was supposed to make the OP uncomfortable, but it back fired. Hubby saw that his wife pulled her own power move to make the situation uncomfortable for the mom and his ex and thought to himself, "That's why she's wifey! She can take it, Uno reverse it and dish it back out!" That's why he just kept on eating with her on his lap knowing that his mom and ex would be embarrassed by what they tried. They both had to leave the table and talk realizing, "Damn, that didn't work. How do we deal with this?" They couldn't come up with anything, so they just had to deal with it. SHEER GENIUS and hubby knew it. 0/5 a******s for the husband also! He's a G for going along with it without missing a beat.
Congratulations 👏👏 you won yourself a Christmas present 🎉🎉🎁 🎁
That's unfortunately not the case. I decided to look up the post to get some more context. OP says he thinks both his Mom and OP are childish and him being passive is because he doesn't want to get involved.
@@MokohiChan That sucks
Story 3 sounds like the daughter might be addicted to weddings. Tell her any further weddings should be at the courthouse
Third story: OP is NTA. Weddings are expensive, and it's completely understandable to not want to continue to pay for your daughter's weddings, when she's been married and divorced THREE TIMES IN SEVEN YEARS!
That fifth story is interesting. Depending on the location and culture, OP’s actions may be seen as acceptable, maybe even welcomed. In my culture business deals are commonly made during family events, and inviting work associates to meet your family is even expected. To ignore your family otherwise would be seen as rude to your guests. OP and her family may be from a similar culture and so don’t realize that the husband and his work colleagues are operating under a different culture expectation.
i think youre exactly right. westerners have a habbit of trying to separate work life from home life
Exactly! I thought r/Slash's reaction to this harmless social interaction was really bizarre, until i realized the work-family life relationship might be very different in the US. In Brazil and the Netherlands, the clients would be happy and even encourage the husband to spend a minute with his niece. Heck, they might even join in themselves, and then cheerily go back to the meeting.
*First OP:* OP reported a theft, therefore she is NTA. I was worried her fiancé/husband would call OP a BH for calling the cops on his mom, but I’m glad that’s not the case. I hope OP’s husband continues to support OP during the whole ordeal.
*Second OP:* Job hunting can be challenging. I’ve been looking for jobs on and off for _years_ , and the only reason I’m currently employed is because I’m working with family. That said, OP’s ex’s wife clearly hasn’t heard of the FAFO Principle, aka, “Don’t start no mess, won’t be no mess.” OP is NTA. That was a good burn, lol
*Third OP:* This reminds me of a scene from Married with Children where Marcy scared off Kelly’s date and Kelly responded, “Nice going, Mrs. Rhodes! That’s the fifth(?) guy this week I was truly in love with!”
Back on topic, OP can spend his money however he wants, but he didn’t have to put his daughter on blast like that even if he’s not wrong, lol! OP is TA, but a small one.
*Fourth OP:* OP and her family should’ve read the room. Her husband was working, and OP interfered with his job. OP and her family are TAs.
*Fifth OP:* Would this apply as a Malicious Compliance crossover? I’m gonna say it is. Anywho, OP’s MIL acted childish toward OP, so OP returned that energy to her MIL. OP is NTA. I wonder why Shaun didn’t give up his seat?
Fifth story : NTA. But he really should be doing more to defend you from his toxic mother and gotten a chair for you if needed. He should also not be sitting next to his ex. The fact his EX is still going to HIS family's thanksgiving is plainly insane to me. I wouldn't be surprised if the MIL was trying to get them back together, too. Even more so when they sat right next to one another and they went to the bathroom together, likely to discuss whatever plan they had. At least your husband didn't push you off or anything. I just hope he had your back when MIL from hell called.
Congratulations 👏👏 you won yourself a Christmas present 🎉🎉🎁 🎁
The stories where one person is a victim of disrespect from their in laws and the partner actually stands up for the person feels rare on reddit
Congratulations 👏👏 you won yourself a Christmas present 🎉🎉🎁 🎁
Last story: Had I been the husband, I'd have given up my seat at the dinner table to my wife, and gone around the table to stand directly behind my mother. Then I'd have said stuff like, "Boy Mom, that looks good."
Story 1: no forget that, she's stole from you on your wedding day, knowing the sentimental value to them without a second thought. Then when she got caught and you didn't immediately have her arrested she and the family harass you. Take all the evidence you have send it to the police and say that you want to press charges for that and harassment. The family thinks they can do whatever you want because MIL stole from you but didn't get arrested show them that they can't and you are not afraid to get the law involved.
And 4 carat diamonds makes it a felony. Jail time!
I know, Op gets on my nerves. She stole from you and harasses you with threats and you be like: "no, I don't think I will press charge and arrest them for their crime"
Well, to be honest, it's much easier to press charges if it was a stranger who did it, but if a family member were to do it, it can feel like you don't want to end up destroying you're own IL family all for pressing charges, as this has actually happened before like with another AITA story about OP's son breaking up with his girlfriend and from there, she became this creepy obsessive stalker and OP pressed charges on her for breaking into the house to celebrate OP's son's birthday and the girl's parents are angry and OP's husband actually said that she should drop the charges.
The titles get wilder and wilder but as concerning as it is to see in the morning, the stories are interesting as hell
The husband in the last story was probably just happy to have his wife sitting in lap
Yet he apparently is calling OP as childish as his mom for doing this
Story 1 nta I heard this one. She stole from you. Then started harassing you. Go all in on her.
In that last one, OP's Husband didn't let him mom humiliate OP he let OP Humiliate his mom because he's like "Yeah wife, my lap is your chair because my mom sucks." Lmao. OP's Husband is not the butthole (Unless after when his mom called he agreed with his mom.)
He 100% is, you’re going to sit here and tell me that the husband didn’t do anything because he somehow knew what op would do next. 😂
@@BunchyPanther42 He didn't do anything when she sat on his lap either, he went about his visit with her in his lap knowing it would piss off his mother, and who knows, he may have tried to but with how manipulative his mom seems she probably bitched when he said his wife should sit next to him. (So until we know the full story can't really say he's TA.)
Well, I was hoping for some context to the husband's behavior and whether it was supportive or flippant, so I looked up the post. Unfortunately, yeah, he's an ass. OP comments that he thinks both his Mom and OP are being childish and he refuses to get involved. I'm sorry, OP is being childish when his Mom is constantly trying to pull this shit?
@@MokohiChan Nvm then. The way I understood it was he was in agreement with OP, but nah he's an AH
@@MokohiChan Well damn, then that 2 out of 5 is well earned.
Sitting on your husband's lap is the funniest petty revenge energy to me though 😂
That girl is collecting wedding rings like it's the infinity stones.
I’m convinced the daughter is Jennifer Lawrence
She's determined to snap half of all eligible bachelors out of existence.
With the last story, I could 100% see the husband actually disapproving of his mother's behavior and after seeing what his wife's plan was just fully committed to it to teach his mother a lesson. Cause I know if I was in that situation I'd absolutely allow my wife to embarrass my mother by sitting on my lap.
I feel like we need more context to that story
My favourite thing about you is your tendency to start laughing when you're reading these stories to us. Good job!
Birthday-Meeting: Thank God someone has sense. There are so many people people that said that OPs Husband was an asshole.
For real?!?! He is at work....if we change the location to a manufacturing plant, and a family member has a party while you are on shift, you don't get to leave work WITHOUT APPROVAL for a party, abandoning clients mid-meeting.
Are people really not seeing this??? He wasn't out for drinks after work or something 🤦🤦♀️🤦♂️
@@SoManyRandomRamblings”If we completely change the scenario and all social cues around it, it would be an asshole thing to do!” That not the argument you think it is, dude. The husband could have been perfectly open with his clients about the mix up and played into the situation and laughed it off, but instead he acted like he had a stick up his ass and came across as a terrible husband. If the clients would have been asses about him showing a bit of humanity, they’re not worth dealing with. This corporateocracy social attitude we have needs to F off.
He was tho.
@@Etienne.6329 no his wife is ridiculous and sabotaged his work.
First Story, NTA: Is OP the asshole for calling the cops on a theif? No, no one is ever an asshole for calling the cops on a theif. OP needs to press charges because this lady steals the family heirloom the moment she seen it, after the story behind them
Second Story, NTA: Soooo she gets to embarass OP but when she gets embarassed its an issue? No, that comeback was strong af
Third Story, NTA: Bro she got married like 4 times back to back. I would feel the same way and would say the same thing
Fourth Story, YTA: OP's husband was in the middle of work. What OP did could’ve possibly messed something up with this client. Professionality is always a must when it comes to business meetings. He wasn’t having a fun outing at that resturant, he was working
Fifth Story, NTA: OP's husband needs to wake up and see the blatant disrespect his mother is showing his wife. Imagine being told that u are way less family than an ex...the current wife of ur son is seen as less of family than the ex. I honestly wouldn’t want to be with someone who allows their family to treat me like this
Well said
@@Persholm1 check again
@Hoovy Simulator 2
Are you on something or did a comment get deleted?
@Hoovy Simulator 2
XD, okay
Story 5: Any one else find it weird that Julissa is literally spending every holiday with her ex and his family? Like even if she didn’t have anyone she could visit for the holidays, it’s still just a little weird that she’s choosing to hang around her ex to the point that she thought it was appropriate for her to sit right next to him at the table in lieu of his wife. And vice versa because I couldn’t imagine really caring that much to have my son’s ex hang around during the holidays if there weren’t kids involved, and I sure as hell wouldn’t allow my son’s ex girlfriend to take precedence over my son’s actual wife. This entire story is just weird!
I get the feeling that Julissa still has feelings for Sean and that OP’s MIL decided that Julissa is a much better match for her son than OP is. I would bet that MIL is trying to break up her son’s marriage so he can get back together with Julissa.
Julissa and the MIL 100% cooked up that situation. OP neatly demolished it. Good for her. Their reactions tell all.
In the last story I like to think that O p's husband is giving his mother and ex girlfriend the same energy that they are giving to his new wife. In other words, he is allowing his wife to sit in his lap as an embarrassment to them because they refused to give her a seat. And it sounds like the mother in law is trying to get the ex girlfriend back with her son.
If you look at OP’s comments that's not the case. He thinks both OP and his Mom are “childish” and refuses to get involved
Story one: Husband definitely knows this is not his mother's first offence. Press charges.
The second story is also a case of the classic, "you said something mean about me, so I'm just returning the favour" type of thing. Thus making the situation feel equally awkward to both people as a result.
I’m always in awe of the people that ask if they’re assholes for reporting an actual crime, I can’t imagine how hard their lives have been without having a working spine.
What is it like living without a working brain? To think that questioning yourself over a backlash = lack of spine. How do you manage it? It's a pretty basic nuance - "sucky people don't want to be called out over their suckiness so when you hold them responsible, they harass you - but sensitive people want to know if they overstepped and were assholes or these people are just acting out even tough they're in the wrong" - this is a pretty basic nuance. What is it like not knowing that you can do the right thing and it can still lead to your environment and family harassing you because they're assholes? But again, a sensitive person never assumes they're always in the right, so they check - by asking others. Thinking this indicates lack of spine indicates absolute lack of a brain.
@@anna8328 this is a *very* big read into phrasing, maybe just gently suggest a better phrase next time? you didn’t need to say all that and in such a passive-aggressive-mostly-aggressive way, this wasn’t directed at you.
You should consider that "spineless" people might be victims of abuse who have severe self esteem issues, and/or struggle with an anxiety disorder.
@@Ahrpigi it’s never implied this hasn’t been considered, *i* am one of those people, and yes i too struggle with extreme anxiety and paranoia. but it is *over* sensitive to immediately assume victims like myself are the subject of this message when they are never mentioned. maybe more ‘the ability to stick up for themselves’ is the way it should have been said, sure, but really this all just reads as being extremely accusatory.
the way you have replied to the original comment seems to imply this stranger to be a bad person for slightly inconsiderate phrasing, i doubt anybody is going to listen to what you or i have to say if the first thing we do is tell them they’re an asshole.
As someone who doesn't have a "working spine", you can blame my mother. She has " broken" my "spine" many times. So much so that I barely talk to anyone, and constantly think I'm an asshole for even existing. Now don't get me wrong, it's not only my mother, but she's the first one that comes to mind........ Anyway, currently life is a living hell, and I'm trying to build up strength my spine.
I hope your life is going good, And take care.
That wife going over to her husband KNOWING he is in a work meeting and goes over there just to see an 18 year old blow out candles, tapping her foot basically in front of 4 clients is pathetic!! How dare she do something like that to him? He's right to be angry, so would I!! YTA!! What a complete and utter moron..
First story: OP is NTA. Her MIL stole from her. Therefore, she's within her right to call the police, so she's NTA for acting within her legal rights in this situation. She wouldn't be TA if she pressed either.
The MiL in stpry1 sounds exactly like my older sister. She stole her daughter's wedding ring and posted it on Facebook with a caption starting that she was now engaged. Then when my niece confronted her, my sister tried to gaslight her into believing she had given her the ring.
Congratulations 👏👏 you won yourself a Christmas present 🎉🎉🎁 🎁
Did she get the ring back?, did the daughter chew her mother out?.
@@katanamakela1519 She got it back and stopped associating with her mother
Story2: in the words of the great Marie from Disney’s Aristocats… “Ladies do not start fights...but they can finish them!”
“The girl who cried I do,” sounds like a New York Times Bestseller now made into a Netflix series.
Last Story: Did anyone notice where Julissa was sitting? I would have to say that OP's mother-in-law gets 3.5 Buttholes because she could have sat OP's husband's ex somewhere else and she was the host so why didn't she take the initiative to make sure there was room for OP? OP's husband gets 2 out of 5 Buttholes because he should have stood up for OP and I am seeing that OP's husband is just saving face by not rocking the boat. If OP's husband did try to stand up for OP then he gets 0 out of 5 Buttholes.
ngl I did not expect Rslash to pick up on the nuances of inflection from that dinner event. Whilr we all wish to remember that we are all people, business outings like that are literally a "show me I'm worth it" demonstration by the company. The interruption put him in a position he wasn't comfortable with, and it makes him look bad either way. In all likelihood he was concerned with exactly what Rslash thought, it looking like he was trying to double book. To whit... even if he had, and he planned to, it's a crap assumption that he wouldn't provide them the time they're worth... but these are business people walking in with entitled expectations, and you gotta play the part if your salary is paying you to make it happen.
This. If I’m the client, I’d be totally understanding if the husband were called away for the birthday. More to the point, I’d have serious concerns about his character if he acted as churlish toward HIS WIFE for such a minor ask. If that meeting was ruined, then, it was the husband’s own fault by showing who he really was.
@@timkokesh1968 Completely disagree. His wife crossed an obvious boundry that she could tell he was uncomfortable with. She said she could tell he wasn't expecting the double book, and when she sensed his discomfort about the situation she pushed more so he capitulated. She shouldn't have put him in that sitation to begin with, so to blame the husband at all for this is ridiculous to me. People need to respect their spouses work, and more importantly, their boundaries. It's one thing to not realize you're pushing, it's another thing to intentionally push because you think you have some moral right because of random coincidences.
@@kirikoza2488 yeah this reads like a power move or absolutely not respecting work boundaries. I know I'd want to go apocalyptic in a situation like that for lack of understanding.
In the story with the daughter getting married several times, the parents only have to pay for the 1st wedding. After that she should be paying for her weddings or the groom should be paying for the weddings, not her parents. Once she was "given away" at the 1st wedding that's it. End of story no more parents have to be financially responsible for their daughter .
I'm so glad rSlash and I were on the same page about the birthday dinner. That was completely unacceptable behavior.
The third one is just hilarious! When he said "love of her life" first time I thought he would die tragically and cause her other marriages to fail or something, but nope! Complete brutality.
Listening to r/slash is the highlight of my finals week,
Lol what are you doing, go study
@@ruddiko he's multitasking by listening to this while studying
good luck in your finals!
Goodluck on your finals bruhh.. go smash it..
You're gonna crush it!
The last story - the fact that OP’s husband is just sitting at the table next to julissa, completely silent while his mother bullies his wife is so messed up. What a crappy partner! I would expect my husband to get his butt out of his seat, ask me to sit down and go get another chair. What the hell is wrong with that entire family? I would feel so awkward by the situation that I’d give OP my chair even if I didn’t really know her.
First story: OP should press charges against her mother-in-law. Nobody wants and should have a thieving old witch as a family. Heck, even her own son agrees with OP, this probably shows that OP's husband knew of his mother's true nature.
In the 2nd story, their logic doesn't even make sense. They said they refuse to apologize because what OP said was worse. So, they are actively admitting they also said something inappropriate but won't apologize for it.
For the final story, if I knew that there was a chance my wife would sit in my lap, then (*sniffs, wipes bloody nose*) hehehe there's no way I'd've pulled up a chair.
HA! The comment on the "I'll pay for the next wedding" about 5k / year was EXACTLY where my mind went. Perfect!
that wedding money story is like the perfect example of correlation does not equal causation
The story didn't change because he was there. He was working. He was actively in an important business meeting.
Last story: husband is 1 at worst. He respected his mother, said yes to his wife when she made a decision without him, and even assuming he realized what his mother was doing he stayed out the petty cat fight rather than make his mother look stupid in her own home at her own Thanksgiving meal. Everybody at that table who knew what was going on knew there were more chairs in the kitchen, and hence it wasn’t about the seating at all.
I give him a zero. Unless he had enough spine to tell his mother that “if she didn’t want to include his family at a family holiday, he would leave as well,” he did nothing deserving of the score.
exactly!
Yeah I dunno why Rslash gave the husband more than the actual causes of the problem.
@@SupraShade because you know guy is always the villain somehow
Yo that last story😂😂😂😂I kept saying “oh well” and “ha,ha.” That’s what they get. She thought she was being slick and trying to exclude her daughter-in-law. GTFO w/ that mess. The husband is a fool as well
Fourth story : .. Honestly, yes, YTA. He's WORKING. You "insisting" like that only does one thing, make HIM look bad no matter what he choose to do. Go with you and it's bad to make his clients wait or don't go with you and the clients think he's a rigid piece of doo doo for not going. He LITERALLY can't win! You DID make him look unprofessional.
The Thanksgiving story: I had an ex who still kept coming to my family gatherings. We are no contact, so as far as I know she could still be doing it. I'm out of the country so I am not there to witness it.
Weirds me the fuck out.
Congratulations 👏👏👏 you won yourself a Christmas present 🎉🎉🎉🎁🎁 🎁
That multiple marriage story. I won't get marriage more than once. Man she seems like she like the idea of being a bride not staying married 🙄
Oh my god, as someone who is super conscious of making others feel uncomfortable, I could not even imagine interrupting my so's meeting for anything. If I was in that restaurant I'd do everything in my power to act like we didn't even know each other 😭
For the story about the woman sitting on her husband’s lap- when I heard the title, I was like WTH? But her reaction was PERFECT. 😂😂😂😂
Story 2: what you said was not worst , on top of that common being very rude and disrespectful it came out of nowhere. You did nothing to her, there was no argument beforehand, so she said that solely to make herself feel better, and you clap back. So she doesn't get to be sad, or demand in apology. Also how much you want to bet you could have said literally anything and it would have automatically been worse.
Well, OP was a tad condescending regarding the wife being unemployed. I've been unemployed for five years, and it sucks. I've tried and only now is things changing. Five years and now I have a job lined up. And I do have a degree. That didn't help.
@@Ikajo The ex's wife deserved it. She can dish it, but she can't take it. I'm 100% on OP's side.
@@Ikajo The wife was a tad condescending about OP being single. Some people spend years being single, even if they want a good relationship.
That last story was obviously the mother in law and Jessica trying to break apart op and her husband's marriage. I think the husband knew his wife would sit in his lap
The last story
I had to go look it up and on one of Op's comments she says this
"On another note, my husband says he can't figure out this problem between me and his mom. He thinks that we're both are wrong."
No, nothing about wanting a seat by or around your husband is wrong.
And honestly, with ex and mother in law exchanging looks, leaving the table around the same time, etc... It sounds like they're actively conspiring to ruin ops marriage so the ex can wiggle back in.
Inviting the ex of a family member to Thanksgiving dinner is inappropriate no matter how long you've known them. Had that happen one year with my brother's ex and it was extremely awkward the entire time.
Not me refreshing right at 7am (local time) waiting for a new rslash 😅
Lol my R/slah time is 6 am and it's worth it!!!
Last story:
It could get very embarrassing to stand up for the husband when his wife sits in his lap. I am over 3 years in a relationship and still today, when my fiance sits on my lap I will not stand up for at least 30 minutes for very hard and obvious reasons. He is in the clear if you ask me
Well, you could say, you are standing up for her in a non-public way.
Honestly, good point that wasn’t mentioned. My husband has expressed similar sentiments.
In OP’s comments she says he thinks both OP and his mom are being childish and he refuses to get involved so I think part of it is that he doesn't care
Press charges right away because it’s not only an issue of theft anymore. It has gone to another level.
I'd do the exact same thing as OP... I'd sit on my partners lap even if I towered over them in size and weight... Or I'd pick them up and they would sit on my lap as I think of car crashes to not make things that awkward
Story 4 (Interrupted Meeting): Yeah, that was a bad look on him. It looks a bit unprofessional, and it would've cost the husband quite a bit.
Just let him have his meeting, OP. You can celebrate with him later
Also the family where so out of line too because they were pressuring op to invite him over like do they not care about his job, terrible parents in law even the sister was understanding he was busy (ironic the 18 year old was more mature then the rest of the family was)
Completely disagree, it's would have been a much better look for him to acknowledge his family and be friendly, if i was that client i would not do business with him after how douchey he acted
@@jeremycherry6762 correction, it would have been a much better look for the clients to not know about the birthday at all and focus the business meeting on business. The only reason the clients know there was a choice to be made was because the wife came over and made it a thing.
@@mariposa9506 maybe dont schedule your meetings during family events
The dad paying for the weddings reminds me of Mamma Mía lol "my father drew the line at my third"
Story #2 - NTA
It's funny how this is so dramatic, complete with anger, tears, running off, demanding apologies, using her husband as a go-between to convey messages. "Oh, woe is me, I've been mortally wounded with words, everyone flock to my side and give me sympathy, only your validation can heal me".
Yet if these exact words were exchanged between two men, it would just be banter between friends, said with a smile as we laugh and have another drink. Just casual ball-busting that nobody would think twice about.
That may be your assumption but if I was the client, I'd be thinking, "wow, he's not nice to his family, maybe we won't deal with someone who treats people like an inconvenience."
About that last story... I got a wierd feeling and just to be really petty if i would have been the op i would have asked the husband if he was cheating on me with the ex girlfriend just to get a reaction from the rest of the family XD
Congratulations 👏👏 you won yourself a Christmas present 🎉🎉🎁 🎁
Her & Hubs deserve a medal for that clap back against MIL & Julissa. That was evil genius. I can picture the casualness of it, eating away cool as cucumbers. While MIL & ex silently implode 😂
“The girl who cried I DO!!” - oh my gosh, I’m dead! So hilarious 😆
Story 4: Imagine you're in line at the grocery store, and in the middle of checking you out, the clerk pulled out her phone and called to wish her sister a happy birthday. Rude, right? Same thing for interrupting a dinner meeting.
No the correct parallel would be being in line with a clerk you know personally and them ignoring you and not even sparing a second to say hi.
Another is: you are an actor preforming Macbeth on the stage. In the middle of a dramatic scene, a message over the loudspeaker asks you to pause your performance and talk with your wife, leaving the audience for 5-7 minutes.
A business meeting is similar to a performance where both sides are showing off their best under the guise of a casual dinner. By breaking the “show” you show that you are not serious about the meeting and it might very well fail you if others did better than you.
"I've managed to stay married for 33 years, it's not that hard" - Giga Chad
Tell me you are an incel without saying your an incel..
I just have to say, when you stop the story to giggle these are some of the best moments of these stories! 🤣
The last story, I actually why the husband didn't get a chair:
1. His wife is on his lap, why would he not want that?
2. This is unarguably way funnier than grabbing another chair, and he's probably sick of his mother and ex gf's antics.
Having a new love of your life every year is really something. Her needing to get married to them one after the other is weird. What, does she have a punch card with a special prize for the tenth one or something? She's speedrunning life like her's depends on it. Get her to a therapist ASAP. Definitely something wrong there.