r/Bestof My Brother Proposed to MY Fiancé
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:10 Two brothers
3:07 Update in comments
6:31 Update 2
8:48 Update 3
11:01 Update 4
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
There is new update: We filed a report with the police and were told that even though Jenn doesn’t want to pursue anything, it’s not up to us to decide whether it goes further but they would keep our preference in mind. We provided some pretty decent evidence of the assault including pictures of Jenn’s face and texts with my mom and dad talking about what happened. We were advised to report and record any other incidents with my mom going further in case anything else happens. Considering where we live, I doubt it’ll go anywhere but at least we have it on record. I got about 100 angry text messages that tell me they at least spoke with her regarding the incident.
My mom tried to corner me leaving my job and screamed at me about trying to ruin her life. She kept screaming that I was an awful son for trying to get her arrested over a small misunderstanding and she didn’t understand what she’d done to deserve being punished like this. I told her that if she didn’t like being in legal trouble then she shouldn’t have hit Jenn. She demanded I tell the police to forget the report which I refused. I told her exactly what the officer said about it being out of my hands. She had a tantrum in the parking lot and hit me a few times (just on the chest and arm) before security intervened and dragged her off the property. I had to talk to my boss about the incident. Luckily she was understanding of everything going on after I explained what was happening.
When I got home, I told Jenn what happened. She was upset and asked that we discuss the plan with my family moving forward. It was a long talk, but we took the advice of some redditors and decided to go completely no contact with my family aside from my sisters. We agreed that having them in my life is adding unnecessary stress for the both of us and we aren’t even married yet. She told me she wanted to consider moving away and putting some distance between us and my family. She said that she tried to stay out of my family issues because it‘s not her place, but she refuses to put up with my mom and her behavior or my dad enabling her abuse. A lot more was said, too much to put in this post, but I agreed with her that they were more trouble than they’re worth and I also don’t want to put up with this anymore. I also agreed to go to therapy and she’s helping me find a therapist.
I decided to call my dad after our talk and let him know I would be going no contact. He didn’t answer the first time I called so I left a message asking to have a long talk. When he called back, he asked if it was okay for my mom to be apart of the conversation. I told him it was okay since she needed to hear what I had to say too. The conversation went about as well as you could expect.
I told them both that Jenn and I are cutting them out of our lives. My dad demanded to know why I would do something like that after going through all the trouble of repairing our relationship. I told him that this entire thing with Mark has shown me that nothing is actually repaired between us and, as far as they’re concerned, the world revolves around only around my mom and my little brother. I told them that their continued favoritism of Mark has brought our relationship to a point of no return and that I wasn’t interested in holding on to a failing relationship. I told them that I agreed to reconcile for Charlotte’s sake, but I don’t appreciate all of the disrespect towards me and Jenn, and that I wouldn’t put up with it anymore for both of our sakes. To my mom specifically, I told her that I was tired of her using me as a scapegoat for her bad parenting and Mark‘s attitude. I also told her that I would never forgive her for what she did to Jenn and what she did to me and my sisters growing up. She started to say how I should move on like my sisters have but I cut her off and told her that she should take their forgiveness and move on because she would never receive it from me, especially after everything she’s done these last few weeks. She started crying and asking me how I could treat her like such a villain. I told her she could only be upset with herself because I’ve done nothing wrong. She cried harder and told me how much she regretted having me and how I’ve only tried to ruin her life.
This started a heated argument between her and Jenn once again and Jenn told her in much more colorful words that she was disgusting (and plenty of other nice names) for saying something like that to me. I don’t know if she left the room or just decided to shut up but my mom stopped talking when Jenn was done speaking to her. My dad said he wasn’t okay with being shut out of my life and he asked me to try to understand my mom’s point of view. He said that she was also struggling because her kids were at odds and I was being unfair to punish her for her struggles with raising and caring for us. The last thing he said was that we were a family and I shouldn’t let past mistakes stop us from moving forward together. I told him that the only person she ever cared for was Mark and herself and there was nothing he could say or do to make me change my mind. I told him that it was up to him whether to keep my number but I would be blocking him and my mom everywhere and I wouldn’t be reaching out again, then I hung up.
Afterward, I sent a long email with the link to my posts attached to my entire family uninviting everyone except my Aunt and Uncle and my sisters to the wedding. I hadn’t cried in a long time but Jenn held me while I cried after writing the email and she assured me we would be okay. My sisters also reached out to me after reading the email. I apologized to Charlotte for not being able to continue reconciling like she wanted but she told me it was okay and it’s not my fault I had to cut them off again.
The response from my family has been pretty mixed. Some are angry I aired out family issues on a public internet forum while others are pissed at my parents because they “never knew it was this bad.” The last person I talked to about everything was Mark. He asked if I was cutting him off too and I told him I wasn’t but I wouldn’t be going out of my way to reach out to him either. He didn’t argue and just wished me the best with the wedding and we haven’t spoken since.
Right now, Jenn and I are looking for a new place to stay. The plan is to move closer to Jenn’s brother. He lives about 3 hours from where we are now and Jenn and I like the city he’s in. I spoke to my boss about transferring and Jenn is looking into the option of working 100% remotely or possibly finding a new job. And once again our venues changed. Since the guest list is significantly smaller, my FBIL is considering letting us use his lake house for our wedding.
Thank god
You gotta love how shxtty people fxxk everything up and somehow they’re so far up their own ass they can’t see how THEY are the problem.
I'm not reading all that but I'm happy for u. Or sorry that happened.
Holy shit what an update. OP and Jenn are lucky to have eachother - THESE are couple goals.
Thanks so much!! ❤❤❤
"wouldn't be the first time you missed an event because of Mark" damn you know she immediately looked back and got mad at the fact OP was right and no matter what she does her golden child will get upset by her choice
After hearing an update - oh yeah. I think the count is somewhere in the hundreds at that point
Missing his graduation because Mark didn’t want to sit through him getting a piece a paper is crazy.
So, pretty obvious by the end why Mark actually proposed; it wasn't really about "testing" anything. It was about a massive, entitled, possibly subconscious possibly not, built-up-over-years-by-his-mother ego trip that essentially amounts to "everything my brother has is actually mine". He was taught by his mother that if he wants something, all he has to do is ask and he just gets it, especially if it "belongs" to OP
It's ironic that the mom is scolding OP for being a "bad role model" over Mark being a brat when *_she's_* the one who isn't disciplining him.
She rather OP do the actual parenting while she spoils him rotten
@bibigamer502 Worse part is that she's the one encouraging it, so even if OP did try to discipline him, the mom would actively be ruining any progress made.
And if OP had actually tried to discipline Mark (even though it wasn't his job to), their mom probably would have made him regret it, possibly with a physical beating. You can't win with people like OP's mother. They are never wrong, and they will always justify and rationalize their horrible actions.
Another update - thank you @Mithandune -
TLDR- They filed a police report. The mom ended up cornering OP at his work and hit him before being dragged off property. Jenn and OP decided no contact, OP called parents and told them and aired the reddit post in an email to whole family. Mom still crazy, father enabler, and his fiance is AMAZING. They are moving to get farther away from them.
Np, have a good day :)
You know the story is good if it lasts the entire video. And that mom IS CRAZY!!! I can't believe she would physically attack the fiancée and then not think its a big deal!!! Talk about delusion.
Did u see the update mithandune posted above? r/Slash could make another video or two on this story wow
Clearly the mom's go to excuse for her abusive behavior is 'it wasn't a big deal'. She stole OP's car and gave it to his brother! She created wild inequity among her children. And she wonders why she doesn't have the best relationships with them...
@@ravenpoe7093
I mean, this is his second video on the same story with nothing new to add.
LOOOOL “how DARE you hold my past actions against me” ….
Excuse me?
That’s…exactly how it works.
What a trash family Op has, his sisters are the only decent people in his life.
Apparently according to the more recent updates Op and Mark are…somewhat civil, which is at least nice.
Good luck Op and have an amazing life with your wonderful wife.
Also even if she was correct about the "Holding past action against her" part its still redundant, because these past actions are actions shes STILL doing
The worst part is that they aren't just "past actions" as they are actively committing the same actions in the present.
@@gamerz1172exactly!
One of my favorite two line dialogues:
“Why you bringing up old shit?”
“I’m revealing a pattern.”
This story about the brothers dating the same girl is weird but I mean if they don't live close together this can happen. However this story seems like the fallout of a golden child. Ok holy cow this is a mega golden child psycho mom story, the gf/fiance is the B story. The mother and Mark were the main characters. Mom should have been charged for theft forcing OP to transfer the car to his brother
Why is it weird? They probably have similar tastes.
This was a wild ride, but I hope they are able to rebuild peacefully.
Makes me think of Dan In Real Life
protip about golden child's: when mom treats her offspring unfairly, it's VERY often because they have different fathers
@Thecommentator-hc1fz because even if they have similar tastes, brothers normally don't go for the same woman. That's why I said that they probably don't live close together
I'd have been SO TEMPTED to make a comment like "well, you always gave me Mark's hand-me-downs, so I thought you'd be fine with this!" What an evil piece of work their mum is, and as for Mark, what a manbaby.
I'm not sure where you would have that comeback. It sounds good but unfortunately OP is the older brother to Mark.
Man, OP and his sisters are true fighters getting out of that toxic home!
Jen is a champ staying with OP through that crazy circus-especially after that being attacked by that crazy mother!!
Update 4: With the way she treated OP and the sisters when they were young, I'm not surprised she turned out the way that she is. She did all this simply because Mark was the golden child. I said this before and I will say it again, favourtism ruins family relationships, period.
When you hear the part towards the end of Mark not having to share his toys with his siblings the whole thing makes more sense. Jenn was his "toy" and how dare his brother play with her.
Absolutely disgusting.
Ew makes sense
Me: I wonder why the brother is so crazy and the mom is flipping out on the Fiancé?
‘Rslash reading the back story of OP for 3 minutes’
“Oh now it makes sense.”
Am I the only one who think think this story is giving off “ Do it for Dan” energy!
That’s called narcissism and having a “golden child”
Update 4: In my state OP could have refused to give up his car and if his parents kicked him out OP could take them to court for an illegal eviction. His parents would have to let him back in. With no lease his parents cannot kick him out without cause, and not giving up his car is NOT cause.
They basically stole OP's life. That mother is a demon and that guy is straight up on par with the other guy's brother "Dan".
12:03 Aaaaand there it is. Parentification. Congrats op, here's the "Abvsed children club" adhesion card.
That's the same story i was thinking of as well
Funny thing with good old "DO IT FOR DAN!!!" is there was more updates to that story recently and that OP has actually kinda-sorta started to mend his relationship with him.
I read the word Dan and had a Vietnam flashback to that whole Do it for Dan storyarc!!!
"Do it for Dan!"
OP posted another update which he said would probably be the last, at least until after the wedding unless something happens:
To answer the most common question about why I chose to reconnect after everything, the short answer is because I would do anything for my sisters. Charlotte wanted the entire family around and for the birth of her first child and to help her while she adjusts. She didn’t want part time aunts and uncles who would only visit her kid during birthdays and holidays. She was never the type to ask for much of anything growing up so when she asked if I would be willing to try for her, I agreed because it would make her happy. I also think part of me hoped that maybe they’d changed. I don’t regret trying to reconcile either. My parents are still terrible but I met the love of my life so I call it a win.
A few people wanted to know if there’s an update so here we go. Sorry if it’s a mess or confusing, a lot has happened.
We filed a report with the police and were told that even though Jenn doesn’t want to pursue anything, it’s not up to us to decide whether it goes further but they would keep our preference in mind. We provided some pretty decent evidence of the assault including pictures of Jenn’s face and texts with my mom and dad talking about what happened. We were advised to report and record any other incidents with my mom going further in case anything else happens. Considering where we live, I doubt it’ll go anywhere but at least we have it on record. I got about 100 angry text messages that tell me they at least spoke with her regarding the incident.
My mom tried to corner me leaving my job and screamed at me about trying to ruin her life. She kept screaming that I was an awful son for trying to get her arrested over a small misunderstanding and she didn’t understand what she’d done to deserve being punished like this. I told her that if she didn’t like being in legal trouble then she shouldn’t have hit Jenn. She demanded I tell the police to forget the report which I refused. I told her exactly what the officer said about it being out of my hands. She had a tantrum in the parking lot and hit me a few times (just on the chest and arm) before security intervened and dragged her off the property. I had to talk to my boss about the incident. Luckily she was understanding of everything going on after I explained what was happening.
When I got home, I told Jenn what happened. She was upset and asked that we discuss the plan with my family moving forward. It was a long talk, but we took the advice of some redditors and decided to go completely no contact with my family aside from my sisters. We agreed that having them in my life is adding unnecessary stress for the both of us and we aren’t even married yet. She told me she wanted to consider moving away and putting some distance between us and my family. She said that she tried to stay out of my family issues because it‘s not her place, but she refuses to put up with my mom and her behavior or my dad enabling her abuse. A lot more was said, too much to put in this post, but I agreed with her that they were more trouble than they’re worth and I also don’t want to put up with this anymore. I also agreed to go to therapy and she’s helping me find a therapist.
I decided to call my dad after our talk and let him know I would be going no contact. He didn’t answer the first time I called so I left a message asking to have a long talk. When he called back, he asked if it was okay for my mom to be apart of the conversation. I told him it was okay since she needed to hear what I had to say too. The conversation went about as well as you could expect.
I told them both that Jenn and I are cutting them out of our lives. My dad demanded to know why I would do something like that after going through all the trouble of repairing our relationship. I told him that this entire thing with Mark has shown me that nothing is actually repaired between us and, as far as they’re concerned, the world revolves around only around my mom and my little brother. I told them that their continued favoritism of Mark has brought our relationship to a point of no return and that I wasn’t interested in holding on to a failing relationship. I told them that I agreed to reconcile for Charlotte’s sake, but I don’t appreciate all of the disrespect towards me and Jenn, and that I wouldn’t put up with it anymore for both of our sakes. To my mom specifically, I told her that I was tired of her using me as a scapegoat for her bad parenting and Mark‘s attitude. I also told her that I would never forgive her for what she did to Jenn and what she did to me and my sisters growing up. She started to say how I should move on like my sisters have but I cut her off and told her that she should take their forgiveness and move on because she would never receive it from me, especially after everything she’s done these last few weeks. She started crying and asking me how I could treat her like such a villain. I told her she could only be upset with herself because I’ve done nothing wrong. She cried harder and told me how much she regretted having me and how I’ve only tried to ruin her life.
This started a heated argument between her and Jenn once again and Jenn told her in much more colorful words that she was disgusting (and plenty of other nice names) for saying something like that to me. I don’t know if she left the room or just decided to shut up but my mom stopped talking when Jenn was done speaking to her. My dad said he wasn’t okay with being shut out of my life and he asked me to try to understand my mom’s point of view. He said that she was also struggling because her kids were at odds and I was being unfair to punish her for her struggles with raising and caring for us. The last thing he said was that we were a family and I shouldn’t let past mistakes stop us from moving forward together. I told him that the only person she ever cared for was Mark and herself and there was nothing he could say or do to make me change my mind. I told him that it was up to him whether to keep my number but I would be blocking him and my mom everywhere and I wouldn’t be reaching out again, then I hung up.
Afterward, I sent a long email with the link to my posts attached to my entire family uninviting everyone except my Aunt and Uncle and my sisters to the wedding. I hadn’t cried in a long time but Jenn held me while I cried after writing the email and she assured me we would be okay. My sisters also reached out to me after reading the email. I apologized to Charlotte for not being able to continue reconciling like she wanted but she told me it was okay and it’s not my fault I had to cut them off again.
The response from my family has been pretty mixed. Some are angry I aired out family issues on a public internet forum while others are pissed at my parents because they “never knew it was this bad.” The last person I talked to about everything was Mark. He asked if I was cutting him off too and I told him I wasn’t but I wouldn’t be going out of my way to reach out to him either. He didn’t argue and just wished me the best with the wedding and we haven’t spoken since.
Right now, Jenn and I are looking for a new place to stay. The plan is to move closer to Jenn’s brother. He lives about 3 hours from where we are now and Jenn and I like the city he’s in. I spoke to my boss about transferring and Jenn is looking into the option of working 100% remotely or possibly finding a new job. And once again our venues changed. Since the guest list is significantly smaller, my FBIL is considering letting us use his lake house for our wedding.
I don’t plan to post any more about this unless the sky falls, at least not until the wedding, because I want to move on with life, but I’ll try to answer any questions some of you might have.
Thanks and Happy Holidays!
Wow. While Mark is absolutely entitled and spoilt rotten...OP's parents are even worse. Mother for playing favourites to such an insane degree and father for allowing all of it to happen.
Atleast OP's sisters sound like the only good people in his family.
And yeah - going no-contact with OP's parents sounds like the only option at this point. Even Mark - the spoilt brat who the whole story was centered about - somewhat came to his senses and understood not being in OP's and Jenn life anymore. Which only proves that their mother is irredeemably crazy at that point.
As soon as op told his mum that this wouldn't be he first time she skipped his events for Mark, the childhood background was pretty obvious.
Even so, the car thing caught me off guard. Yeesh.
Yeah no I would never let them live that down frankly put I hope that mom ends up being talked about on a bad podcast for "mysterious disappearances"
The car thing made me extremely mad!!
The "Making him apologise to the bullied kid" part was what really set me off
@@thewielder3445 yeah. All round terrible
@@thewielder3445 I wonder how the kid and their parents felt about that. Assuming they're normal they were probably wondering wtf OP was doing there.
Story : File assault charges on behalf of your fiance against your mom and go NC with whoever is on marks side.. Op fiancee is not marks property and neither is op life....
Update 3 : " it was just a joke that your own brother tried to steal your fiance right from under your nose while you were there " nahhhh op birthgiver your the joke.
Backstory Update : yeah if the roles were reversed and jenn hurt op and was dating Mark op scummy mom would demand op to " get over it " " it makes your brother happy "..
Cut the POS "parents" and mark out of your life op even if they're at your door on their knees apologizing and even if you end up having kids do not let those scummy "parents" see them.. everyone else can but mark and the turds..
They already went no contact with spoiled brat brother and the enabling parents, then let the rest of the family know how the terrible trio treated them.
@GAMEPRODELTA yup read the update.. those failures "parents " will always wonder "why won't my children visit me "...
Ah yes. Mark is obviously the golden child. Mom screaming they’re tearing the family apart - while she’s the reason it’s being torn. Lol.
Honestly I’m glad the fiancée is marrying OP instead of the brother. I can pretty much see the parents justifying Mark’s behavior and making excuses on his behalf if Jenn married Mark and something happened where she would want a divorce.
“He only slapped you as a joke”
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012also "How dare she leave him. He only hospitalized her. And she should forgive his cheating. It's not a big deal!"
Mark takes after his mommy, I see. You know what, the sisters and OP ought to just leave them, go NC, press charges if necessary, and let them deal with their monster of a son on their own.
The parents ask for help? Not this time. Mark asks for something? Get it yourself!
Mark needs to grow up and the mom needs to grow up. The father…I don't know.
As long as the parents continue to spoil Mark, especially at everyone else's expense, Mark is never going to be able to survive once the parents croak, because OP and OP's siblings sure aren't taking him in
The mom (if you can even call her that) doesn't just need to grow up, she needs to go to a freaking insane asylum. Op's egg donor is exhibiting a kind of malignant narcissism bordering on the psychotic that warrants being locked up for life in the crazy house, no questions asked. I wonder why Mark has always been the golden child, because if it's because he looks like the egg donor, then that just shows how massively bloated her ego is. As for Mark himself, his behavior was surprisingly mature for a golden child, even if the way he tested his theory crossed a line (which it did). He only stayed involved until he was proven right and then peaced out without any further belligerence, so I guess that went well, to a point.
The mom saying that Jenn was breaking the family apart. Looks like ol' mom started doing that YEARS before Jenn was even in the picture! Dad ain't spotless either!!!
Favoritism here is so blatant it's pretty much punching me in the face through the screen lol.
I got in trouble for everything I did, or got caught doing, my younger sisters didn’t get in trouble for practically any of their wrong doings. But at least I didn’t get punished for anything they did. Damn OPs parents suck.
So update, OP tried to reconcile for his sister's sake, everything fell apart, his mom attacked him over the police report, and him, Jenn, and his sisters are all cutting and going NC with their family. There's also plans to move away and therapy. But something came to mind that makes me *really* grateful for OP and Jenn leaving. How bad are OP's parents going to be if Mark ever becomes a father? Would they demand OP and sisters give their baby stuff for his kid? Woukd they cut out the rest of their potential grandchildren for Mark's kid?
"im not coming to the wedding because youre excluding my little boy!!!!"
"So your reaction to your younger and older son both *agreeing* to not have the YB at the OB's wedding is to alienate your older son further? Okay, mom, have fun not being in my wedding or my life."
Edit: yooo i would have been homeless and sleeping in my car before letting my mom force me to give my car to my brother.
Mother: You're holding my past mistakes against me!
... Nope. Just current and future mistakes.
The thing is it's not past mistakes. It's current and ongoing and not going to change.
@@TJDious Which is exactly what I said. 👍
My brother is the golden child I feel for OP I’ve gone through this too well into adulthood, my parents just bought both my nieces cars. I built a computer, my parents buy him a computer, I pay off my car and get my third one, they pay off his, they complain I have no job so I quit school get one and move out, he quits his and goes back to school. I pay 500+ in car insurance amd 1300 for a mortgage, they pay his and his child support. They don’t even ask him to take our grandmother to her doctors appointments they ask me when I don’t even live there anymore while my older brother is a bedroom away and because they don’t talk they leave me with the inconvenience. Keep ya head up OP
I’ll give Mark some credit that he at least acted more mature than most golden children we’ve heard about on this channel. He never cried for his mommy to get him something and just resolved things by telling OP just to uninvite him from the wedding.
Meanwhile, the mom acted so hostile that I’m terrified as to what she would have done if Jin were alone like she hoped.
Yeah confusing that the mom was so admit on getting Mark to the wedding when he didn’t even want to go. But who knows maybe he’s the type of I don’t want to go well good then don’t then actually I do want to go now that you’ve said I cant.
After that last update I kind of feel bad for the terrible brother. He's still terrible, but he had little chance of turning out any other way.
No. He’s a sapient human with free will. He *has* a choice and he chooses not to change.
@@RealCoolstriker64 He is, and some people do overcome that hurdle, but more don't. That's why I said, "little chance" instead of, "no chance".
"She said I was a buythole for throwing her past mistakes in her face."
But it isn't "past mistakes" when she's literally making the same mistake in the present. Also, I guess we can see where the brother got his entitled attitude from
It’s stories like these that continually reinforce how blessed I am to have loving parents. Not married yet so I could be proven wrong, but I could never picture or imagine either parent doing any madness like this. I glad OP has his wife’s back as she does his.
Hopefully, everything has improved for them and theirs!
I don't ever swear, but if I was threatened to get kicked out over giving my car to my younger sibling, my response would be "Kick me the f*** out, then!"
I figured there must've been favouritism in play for the brothers to act so differently. I 100% relate to OP with how he was treated as a kid.
Wow. Saw the last update in the comments. I am wholeheartedly glad OP and Jenn were able to get out of that toxicity. I hope they're doing well now.
I feel like this mom and the mom who keeps rubbing shrimp oil onto the OP's utensils are the same when he said, "My mom put shrimp and chicken on the same surving dish and I'm allergic to shellfish".
If the OP sees this, if your mom attacks you or your soon-to-be wife agian, don't hold back punches, get the police envolved and see which family members will try to protect her so you can see who's in your corner and to have people to keep an eye out for her and your brother so they can't try to crash and ruin your wedding
That's a good point, pretty decent parallels. Iirc the mom in that story was thinking "allergies aren't real, he just wants attention" and if they're the same person then it totally tracks. That and it's a subconscious admission that she's treating him like trash.
wow, I lived through something similar for about 4-5 years when I was young and it was hell. This dude got it worse and for his entire life. How is he still sane? I'm with you bud, ditch that hellhole of a brother and mother.
Just... wow. stay strong.
I heard this whole saga. Hope op and Jenn are doing well.
Mark: I won't attend the wedding, which is my decision.
Mom to OP and Jenn: How DARE You not invite my precious angel and your brother/in-law to your wedding even though he proposed to Jenn as a JOKE! You better invite him to the wedding or else!
Crazy that mark wasnt even the shittiest person in that story.
Even golden children have their limits…😂😂
Mark: “Ok. uninvite me.”
OP: “Ok. deal.”
Family: “HOW DARE YOU!”
This is THE worst family I've ever heard about on Reddit. The toxicity is beyond anything I've read about! Holy moly. I'm so sorry OP. I was skeptical at first when he hauled off and punched his brother, but the backstory... sheeeeeeesh. Deserved!
Story 1: You do not have some kind of claim over someone. Your ex can date your family members, your ex can date your friends they can do whatever because YOU DON'T OWN NOBODY. And your not entitled to other people's relationships.
Oh my god…. This dudes family is psychotic 😳 honestly I’d just go no contact ask his wife if they’d be okay moving the wedding to a different location then asking the planners if they’d be okay with that and tell them the situation just so that their family won’t be able to crash the wedding because jeez…
Edit: aside from his sisters, his sisters seem amazing ☺️
1st story: Finally a good story about a man defending their future wife instead of treating her a-la-cinderella and let family members run all over her. Hats off, man. o.o
This got in my feelings, because I was treated like op.. 😢 I feel for ya! Best thing I ever did, was go no contact and marry my husband and got his family as mine!! Things get better when you start living your life to the fullest, without those toxic family members!! You don't owe loyalty and love to those kind of people!!! Best of luck to op and his fiancée!!❤❤
Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm currently planning my own wedding and I'm honestly just relieved I won't have to deal with my narc mother's crazy and her attempts to make it all about herself and ruin my day somehow. Been no contact for several years. Life is definitely better without it. Just keep doing your thing and living your best life - it's the best revenge. 🙃
@@xNeariax the best revenge is a life well lived! I feel for you and wish you all the best in life,and your wedding! I married my husband 21yrs ago,and he's still the best in my life, with my kids!
Sounds like Mark is not merely the Golden Child, but their mother's 'narcissist-by-proxy.'
After getting to know OP's family, thinks start to make sense of his mom's behaviour. But it's still soooo messed up omg! Punishing op for not being a good example to his brother? Grounding op for smthing his brother did? Cutting his allowance, giving up his car, this just keep piling up, I dunno how he coped with that shit for so long. I would've left the second I'm 18 and never look back. I understand that's not always easy but maan, I would at least got zero contact with that "family" if you can call it that. Disgusting behaviour. Sisters, Aunt and Uncle are amazing for supporting him.
i admire OP's ability to not go batshit insane over the borderline-abuse favoritism
if that was me i would have snapped LONG ago, god DAMN that was a story
There’s another update. TL;DR is that they filed a police report, mom caused a scene at OP’s work, they’re going NC and moving away, they told his parents they were going NC and disinvited a lot of OP’s family from the wedding.
The CliffNotes of it is that OP only reconciled with his family in the first place because one of his sisters wanted all the family around during and after her pregnancy and OP agreed hoping his parents changed but nope.
OP and Jenn filed a report against mom and it’s being handled by the police. Mom found out and has been angry with both of them and even went to OP’s workplace to cause a scene, unsurprisingly taking no accountability for her actions and blaming OP entirely. She demanded OP tell the police he lied (doesn’t matter, police are still investigating and it’s out of OP’s hands) and even hit him when OP refused.
OP told Jenn what happened and they decided to go NC and are planning to move to get away from OP’s crazy mom and enabling dad. He and Jenn called his parents informing them of their decision and laid it all out on the table. The favoritism, the lack of change, their terrible parenting and making OP into a scapegoat for their poor decisions, etc. Parents took no accountability and blamed OP for holding their past and present behavior against them.
After the phone call he sent an email to most of the extended family uninviting them from the wedding, along with sending them the posts. Response from family was mixed. He isn’t cutting Mark off but no putting any effort into the relationship and they haven’t spoken since.
OP and Jenn are planning to move closer to Jenn’s brother three hours away. OP is expecting his mom to ramp up her crazy when they move. She also read the comments of the posts and continued to take no accountability.
"Stop throwing my past mistakes in my face"
Ok, stop making the same damn mistakes. Smh.
When the part where someone proposes to his brother's fiance in front of him is the least insane part, you know its gonna be a good story
Good on OP sisters and his wife sticking with him through all that chaos. That's some true loving and hope the sisters continue to support op and his wife
Why oh why is OP even in contact with any of these people (besides his sisters)??
In the adult world, if the relationship is less than 6 months, it isnt generally considered a relationship except when we need to speak technically. The whole 1 month counts usually for teens, due to inexperience and how fast things really do change at that time. It makes sense for then.
Mark: Hey. Fyi, I'm not going to your wedding because you "disrespected me."
OPs Mom: OP, how could you ban your brother from the wedding?
OP: B*tch, he won't show up even if I ask him to!!!
jeez. I hope OP reads this someday because I just want to say, treasure those sisters, treasure that wife (she's a trooper for putting up with all of this) and stick to the no contact with mom and brother. If you can do that, I have a feeling you will be fine.
Mark is a perfect example of "I'm the main character" syndrome.
Gee whiz, this story angered me!! The "mom" is beyond toxic and the dad is spineless! I feel so sorry for the kind-hearted sisters! Thankfully, they didn't turn out to be an evil Karen like her!! I read the detailed update below and feel so bad for what this couple is going through! I don't blame them for taking actions to find peace from it all.
Man, OP should be thankful that his parents don't run the entire world because if they did and Mark were to kill someone, OP would be the one who went to jail for it.
Edit: There's another update where OP went no contact with his parents.
They probably would have sent him to jail regardless since they seem to hate his very existence
@@bibigamer502 Would not surprise me. Especially considering OP also said that the stuff he posted wasn't everything they had done.
Man this story went from a jealous brother to a psychic mom really hope that op and Jen go no contact with them for their own physical and mental health
That mil needs a restraining order against her even if you don't want to arrest her.
All I kept thinking during this video was 'do it for Dan!'
Maybe Dan and Mark should get a house together, and Dan can help Mark find a new girlfriend - she can be just like Dan's wife and they can all liver miserably ever after.
I'm surprised OP didn't punch out his brother sooner
That was a narcissistic mother and family dynamic at its finest. OP was clearly the scapegoat while his sisters were the invisible children it seems. And of course, the spoiled brother being the golden child. I can't stand parents that treat their children vastly differently. You love your kids equally, and that's that.
How else do you expect a narcissistic like OP’s mom to react like a responsible person?
Why did OP even let his patents back into his life to begin with? The treatment he got sounds so horrific that there was litterally 0 point in expecting them to have changed. And they havent so there ya go.
If you get abused as a kid, dont go back to your abusers. The chances theyve magically changed are nearly 0.
People have posted an additional update. Apparently, one of OP's sisters wanted him back in her life and reconnecting with the parents was a cost of that. But, the sister is fully understanding that OP is cutting parents back out.
After that, going NC is difficult. I have been NC with my parents and several of my siblings for almost 15 years (a 'family' very similar to the one in the post). And, every once in a while, especially at this time of year, I feel the tug in me to reconnect. We are hardwired to love our parents, and then brainwashed by these parents to accept any type of treatment in the the name of 'family'. It's difficult to overcome that tangle. It doesn't help that, at least in my case, my NM periodically tries to hoover me back up (many narcs do that to their lost sources of narcissistic supply). Fortunately, I now have friends and family (chosen rather the biological) who help me through. I am happy that OP has Jen and his sisters, and maybe now Jen's brother to help him. As he moves away from his parents and gets therapy (also in the update), he'll likely be in a better position to also find his own supportive friend group and chosen family.
Instead of asking why people go back to abusive relationships (a very enabling question btw) we should instead be asking what is wrong with the people who hold the abused hostage in that type of relationship, and censoring those buttholes for it.
@survivedandthriving I agree the people doing the abuse is wrong but once you've identified the issue and already managed to cut the people out, don't just let them back on and expect change. You already realized what's wrong. It's touching the hot stove but this time someone told you it's less hot and you can totally handle it.
The abusers are responsible but you also have to protect yourself because they have no interest in doing so.
I find it really interesting that though the video is named after Mark, he's not really a factor in the story past the first post and his position is fairly reasonable. I would be so uncomfortable if someone I dated and then broke up with immediately started dating one of my siblings. And I would wonder if they were some stalker creep. Proposing is a weird ass way to try and prove his theory, but I get where he was coming from. Him then peacing out of the story after somewhat apologizing and saying to not invite him because he wouldn't be able to support them is actually pretty mature. Even in the update giving in one of the comments, he doesn't turn into one of his parents flying monkeys or even appears until after OP has gone no contact with most of his family to ask if that means him to and simply accepts that he's on the low contact list and wishes him well. He still sucks for taking such advantage of his parents favor growing up, but honestly I'm surprised at how decent he turned out considering how nutty mom and dad are.
Dude none of this would have happened if Mark had been mature and talked with them from the beginning. As soon as he saw they were dating, instead of throwing a tantrum, he should have asked questions and started up a civil conversion. He was the catalyst of this whole problem.
....
What could have happened that dinner.
"Uh did you know I dated her Op?"
"No Mark, I didnt. We dont talk about our exs. She must not have realized we were related."
"Oh, well can you talk to her about it? This is really weird. Im not interested in her though. So if all goes well you two can be together. I just may not be around to watch. If you two ending getting married I wont be at the wedding."
"Im sorry I will talk to her and see what she says. But I really do love her. Im sorry if us ending up staying together makes you uncomfortable but I really do love her. In time hopefully you can come to terms with our relationship."
...
Had he communicated something remotely close to my example that dinner with the family. Then he wouldnt have been banned because he would have bowed out infront of witnesses. His mother would be one of the witnesses so she couldnt harrass and assult them later. He would have also taken care of it so his friends couldnt put the dumb idea of a fake proposal into his head.
Yes all this is caused by Mark's initial reaction to the news Op was dating his ex. So the title should be about him and alot of the blame is his too. Yes the mother is unhinged as well and should have been in the title as well.
....
"My brother proposed to my fiance then our mother attacks my fiance." Would have probably encompassed the whole story better.
...
Mark and mom are the aholes and Op is not.
Mark's an adult he has no excuse to keep acting like the kid he once was.
The mom needs to stop seeing Mark as a baby.
Mark’s messed up reasoning for demanding his brother break it off with his ex (whom he only dated for a couple of weeks) and proposing to her right in front of his brother is easy to figure out: his narcissist mother raised him to be as much of a narcissist as she is.
Raising Mark to think “what’s mine is mine and what’s my brothers is mine” is probably the basis of the issue. Jenn was Mark’s first, so brother isn’t allowed to have her, even if he doesn’t want her anymore.
The other point is Jenn saying she’s over Mark and doesn’t have any feelings for him. This concept is probably completely alien to Mark. Nobody gets over him because everything about him is special and wonderful, at least according to mom.
The story with Mark, the entitled brother I would have never let my parents back in my life if they were like that
When the mom had her meltdown I knew, Mark is the golden child.
His mom is toxic, his brother is an entitled brat and his dad is a door mat.
Hearing the backstory of last OP made me seethe.
The term "Toxic" doesn't even BEGIN to scratch the surface of how disgusting the family (except the sisters) is. We need a new term for this because I'm about to employ terms that would make CZcams look away
Your BestOf reads are by far my favourites ❤️❤️
"How dare you not teach your brother right from wrong?!"
That's YOUR job! YOU'RE his parents! If he doesn't have a good role model, that's YOUR fault. Not his brother's.
The brothers story is crazy. I'm surprised he even cared to invite his parents to the wedding. Hard to believe this story is real.
My grandparents did something similar. They favored my aunt over my dad because she was/is the baby. Whenever she did something wrong, my dad got the fist, literally. My grandpa was an alcoholic when my dad was growing up. He would sit on my dads chest and beat him until my dad got older and fought back. Their old house has holes all over the walls from the fights.
Now, my dad is similar. He favors my older sister. She is the golden child, and anything I do isn't good enough.
Best of is definitely my favorite reddit thread
What a Karen of a mother! Pity on her children. Both parents should be uninvited.
Actually, Mark's behavior seems reasonable by comparison to that "mother"
Even the dad was upset by the stunt Mark pulled at the beginning.
No wonder why Jenn didn’t know they were related. We got the spoiled golden child who could do no wrong. Versus the actual good child who gets neglected because the parents are terrible.
Best wishes to OP because with a family like that who needs enemies.
Story one, its douchy to go after someone you know is your siblings' ex, otherwise, either you aren't close enough for it to matter or they weren't close enough for it to matter. If family doesn't hear about the relationship then clearly the relationship doesn't matter.
omg what a disturbing story!
whenever there's physical beating involved, emotional trauma is not far away
the family dynamic is repeated from the mother's own parents
she chose her partner as a reflection of her own submissive parent
underlying feelings of fear of missing out, feeling unimportant
and a clear need to be seen, loved, and heard
Dude this guy was a major chump. "I'mma give my car, i have no friends or family that I can have take me in" I woulda been gone, i'd rather live in the car than tolerate that bs.
Woulda stopped doing chores too for the pitiful allowance, theres mowing lawns, raking leaves, shoveling snow, paper delivery, at that age.
The fact that the mother is this enraged over her son not being invited to a wedding he doesn't even want to go to-
Man, why didn't OP go no contact with those family members before now. Like his mother made a dish he's allergic to as an "Apology dish" for OP. That's not an apology at all. And then his mother tells him to "Forgive Mark for the joke he made", meanwhile not having Mark do anything. It makes me wonder if the mother is actually OP's step mother, but simultaneously I know that people think they can get away with such behavior because of DNA relations.
"Don't judge me on my past mistakes"
Proceeds to keep making mistakes in the present.
"Your tearing this family apart!"
Proceeds to completely destroy the relationship with her son, attacking fiance.
He didn't propose because he had feelings or to make a point, he saw his brother had a shiny toy that he wanted for himself because his brother doesn't have the right to be happy.
And the mom is the one who blew it even further out of proportion by not accepting what both brothers agreed on.
I will never understand how parents can favor one child over another to such a degree. They deserve whatever they get.
We on this channel have seen a plethora of reddit post of parents who treat one kid as the golden child who can do no wrong, and another as the scapegoat, but God almighty OP's mom is the worst offender thus far, who punishes a child for their sibling's misbehavior, it's your job to discipline them not their siblings. OP's mom is Frankenstein, and she created a monster.
It is uncanny to me how similar OP's family is to mine.
I hope he and Jenn can live a happy life together.
9:00 proposing to someone else's fiancée out of spite is hardly a simple mistake. Especially if you do it in front of the fiancée's fiancé.
For any future parents watching this video and reading this, I hope this story is seared into your brain. Let this serve as a warning for you and how you treat your future kids. Be on your guard to *never* allow yourself to pick a favourite child, and abuse and neglect your other kids. The amount of harm that you can inflict upon them is staggering and lifelong.
And if you see your partner choosing an obvious golden child, for god’s sake *do something about it!* In some ways, the dad in this story is even worse than his wife. She’s obviously disgusting and probably has some kind of personality disorder, she’s so toxic and emotionally manipulative; but he’s watched the abuse, enabled it, supported it and joined in…now he’s making excuses for her evil behaviour, and minimising it. Don’t stay with a partner who’s singled out one child to cherish at the clear expense of the others. Be better.
Just wait this mother's favoritism is going to continue and she will eventually push the other kids away too!
I’m surprised that Mark and the parents (yes, BOTH) were invited to the wedding in the first place. All 3 sound worthless
Oh, yeah. I had a mom like the one in the first story.
The golden children were my Triplet baby sisters.
They got everything new and x3. My other siblings and I didn't even get thrifted stuff. We got donations from the fire department or churches. Christmas was usually 2 laundry baskets of assorted small toys that were from some donation box for us 3 older girls. The triplets got electric scooters, brand new toys, clothes and etc. theirs were even neatly gift wrapped where ours were not.
I wanted a cat for years. My mom always told me no and insisted if she was ever going to have a cat in the house it would be a pure bred Persian so she could breed it and make money off the kittens...then she goes out to the pound and gets a regular old tabby short hair for the triplets and constantly reminded me it's not my cat. I am not to touch or play with it. It wandered into my room one day and I let it hangout with me on the bed while I did homework. My mom came in and saw me petting the cat and beat the living snot out of me. After that if the cat came anywhere near me I would run in the opposite direction.
My mom wanted me to clean it's litter box. My baby sisters were more than old enough to do so themselves. They were 9 years old. Plus, I caught a beating for interacting with it, but she expected ME to clean up after it?
My mom told me to clean the cats litter box and I shot back with "It's not my cat, remember?" And she went after me, chasing me out the house and down the block. Luckily for me she was too fat to catch me or even give chase for very long.
5:39 this confirms it to me that the brother is very self centered “why would someone do anything that doesn’t involve me somehow?”
OP yeah I get you, older sibling here too, if my brothers did something wrong I got the beating because they "must have learned it from you" My brother would swear at them (using words I actually have never heard before) I apparently taught them it. If I professed my innocence I was a "liar" and got beaten for that, then beaten daily until I relented and accepted the blame. I learned to accept blame and just take the one beat down instead of multiple.
Mark, Mark, Mark ... while it is absolutely the parents' fault he's a flaming thunderc**t, that doesn't make him any less of a flaming thunderc**t.
That is what a golden child turns into. Don't do it.
Seeing OPs latest update in the comments here, I have to say that when even the eternal favourite spoiled golden child acted more maturely than their mom, it made me think maybe Mark isnt that bad, but was just raised to believe his needs always were priority.
After all, he didn't make OP sign over his car to him, their mom did. And OP specifically says Mark asked his parents to buy him a car, so it's not even that he initially demanded OP's car so, it seems to have been the Mum's idea ?
Same way how when Mark asked for an allowance she just took half of OP's allowance.
Seems Mom did this a lot ?
Every single story about a person who's childhood was ruined by a parent's love for a golden child, makes me tear up
And I'm an only child
I usually don't like the use of the term "golden child" outside of medical contexts, but in that last story it might actually fit. Like, I hope these people get medical intervention, and OP gets far away from them until they do