r/Relationships My Sister is Marrying a Violent Felon
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
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0:00 Intro
0:11 Marrying a criminal
4:53 Outbursts
7:40 Disinherited
11:03 Awakened
12:39 Views on fidelity
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Me and my sister aren't close but we talk, if she ever came to me and said "Im marrying someone who has done awful things to children", that'd be the last conversation we ever have
"I was in a dark place" is one of the top excuses from the groomer handbook
And of course he's targeting the kid, she's in his target demographic. Like how Nice Guys calls a girl a B word when they turn them down.
Agreed
Yep.
Absolutely 💯
You nailed it.
Groomers are slimy and disgusting.
Mm-hmm. I'm not surprised he called the niece that. People like him get mad at their target when they can't get access to them.
The first story did have an update and both basically and unfortunately, the sister has chosen to side with her felon while effectively cussing out her family with the felon being really mocking about it. OP also said that the felon did try to hurt one of her nieces that was like 3, which might be the event she was talking about, and has sent one last message to her sister before cutting things off that she's disappointed in her choice but wishes her well. To which I say every time a kid is involved or conceived, CPS automatically. Also, as someone else here in the comments pointed out, she was a teen when they met. This monster groomed a teenager against her family for himself.
I was thinking about the math for that. He's 26 now, but the sister has been working to support him for 7 years? That would be age 19 for him and 18 for her that she's been supporting him? How long did he go to prison? Was it during the relationship? This is such a mess.
Ugh. You can't stop people who you love from making harmful choices. Only be there for them when the ish hits the fan-signed person who has brothers who made extremely dumb choices and can only just watch the world burn around them
The sister is probably a victim of abuse herself. this felon sounds pretty toxic and he's isolated his victim who he got his hooks into when she didn't know better. The sister is at the point of maturity when most people start to finish their growing (the brain finally flicks from teen to adult thinking) and its around this time these kinds of relationships do fall apart. you only have to look at courtney stodden and doug hutchinson ... she married him at 16 and they divorced when she turned 25. She said that was about the time she realized what the relationship was.
This relationship, assuming there is no physical abuse or something, sounds the same. The sisters should be pushing down their revulsion and supporting their sister so she feels like she has other options for when the time to leave comes. That doesn't mean letting their kids around him, but it gives her an exit.
@@AdaireKrickets - It sounds like she never told them he was a convicted felon until it came out.
He'll probably dump her in a few years too
I definitely think the gf in story two is autistic and just isn't masking around her bf because she feels safe with him. It's great that she's acknowledging the effect she has on her bf though. Her actively looking to work on her behaviour and get help is awesome gf seems like a genuinely good person
My thoughts exactly!
Same. As someone who is autistic, I dealt with similar things. I’m trying to find the story to see if there’s an update on it.
yea i immediately was like "shes definitely autistic"
Oh ok glad to know i wasnt wrong to immediatley assume she was autistic af
YUP. Came here to say that. She's exhausted from masking all day.
Story 1: There was an update. Apparently he tried to hurt his Aunt's baby girl on Thanksgiving. The sister created a group chat with all the family, and the fiance, cursing them out and gave them an ultimatum. It basically was support me or lose me. The fiance added that he was really happy that she chose him over her family. Then they left the group chat.
All I can say is leave a channel open for if/when she needs help leaving this "man".
She also tried to say murderers get a 2nd chance why cant he. At least some criminals show remorse(or fake it) this guy cant even sound remorseful for what he's done
And the sister wants to expunge the dudes record and op said shes worried she might have some pull cause the sister works as a clerk for a sheriffs office
@@sanctuary_polarisMurder can have a lot of understandable reasons but not sexual abuse
@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 exactly!
How old is his aunt?
That must be some strong love chemicals she’s experiencing if she’s this delusional believing that he’s remorseful.
Girl, compatibility and future are also factors in “true love.” Do better.
Last story: “I don’t feel that prostitution counts as cheating.”
Me: “Well we’re done.”
she is trying to clean her ground before she does something , that way she would feel less bad when it happens, it's pretty pathetic
Yea no... physical intercourse = 100% cheating in my book. The moment you get passionate and physical with someone even just to feel something... NO! That be cheatin'
You know what ain't cheating? ...Well that's just it. Depends on the couple. But this in my opinion is cheating and if the husband allows it... you are allowing cheating but if it works for your marriage go ahead.
What's crazy is that this is considered totally normal and not cheating in Japan
@@rachealbordersWhat’s crazy about a different culture having different standards from what you’re used to? They’d just as easily say your standards are crazy
I believe as long as both people are open to it and have mutually agreed upon terms, it is fine if they have relationships with other people. It's their relationship. We shouldn't judge them. That's just my opinion.
Story 2:
It sounds like maybe she has OCD or autism and she needs to have the same routine because all of the outbursts happen after the routine is changed. Called into work early, her spot is taken, etc. and she felt comfortable enough to express this around her husband.
that was thought! i’m autistic and i related to the experience a lot
YES! I was immediately thinking ASD and that she's unmasking around close friends and family and while I understand the partner doesn't understand this, he's being very entitled and immature. (Does a touch of ableism apply here? I'm not sure.)
I've been suspecting I'm on the spectrum for a while now and I scored high on the RAADS assessment. I have a background of both childhood and recent trauma that's screwing everything up and so much is coming at me at once lately and I'm having these horrible meltdowns all the time and I hate it so much. Believe me, people who deal with this are MORE frustrated with us than you think you are (talking to people like the partner in the story).
I came home yesterday and cried until I hyperventilated in my bedroom because my housemate and her son (both ASD) were making cookies. On the surface, that was it!!
But that WASN'T it. It was: I'm cold from outside and the sudden weather change and JUST got home so transition and I'm hungry and want a snack but they're in the kitchen but not just IN the kitchen, ALL OVER the kitchen and I can't get to my cabinet to stare into it's abyss of snacks to decide what I want and the child is suddenly hovering right next to me AGAIN and I'm going to bump into him and I don't want to hurt him but he's so excitable and I'm just trying to put away my groceries so quick and DAMMIT he's underfoot! and I'll skip the snack to have dinner earlier but wait the only dinners I have are oven meals from my meal kit service and they're baking cookies in the oven and when will they be done? oh it's FINE I'll have something else I'll just eat cold leftovers because they're also using the microwave so I'll take that to my room and try to finish my homework before it's due tonight and DAMNIT he's behind me and I just stepped on his foot AND hit him in the head with my elbow and he's fine but he thinks I'm mad when I'm just overwhelmed and he's just excitable, don't ruin his joy even though he was told REPEATEDLY to give me a little space, apologize and then go to your own space and eat your cold leftovers and do your homework it's okay it's okay it's okay it shouldn't be this hard it's okay it's okay and the cat wants your salmon cold cuts so you're trying to shoo her away but she had a hairball while you were at work and threw up ALL OVER your office chair so now you have to try to keep her off of it so the mess doesn't spread but you don't have it in you to clean it up because you're so hungry and you have to do your assignment and you're still cold from outside and have to eat cold dinner and now you have to eat it in bed because you can't use the office chair but you have to keep the cat off the chair and away from your salmon and I just SOBBED AND SOBBED until I couldn't breathe and it was so many things but if anyone asked all I could say was that it was because they were making cookies when I came home.
That is exactly what I was thinking! It isn't unusual for women to not get a proper diagnosis. She definitely needs to get with a psychologist and therapist to help both get a diagnosis and learn coping.
Could be borderline or histrionic also
@@jill37 Calling OP entitled and immature is stupid. Is he supposed to just let her continue acting that way with no idea what's happening? He literally talked to her about it and is helping her through it. He never yelled at her or confronted her abrasively. He'd be a horrible partner if he just shrugged it off. He'd be even worse if he diagnosed her instead of urging her to see a professional. It could be many things, not just autism. OP never mentioned having a degree in psychology so I don't know what the fuck you expected from him.
And yeah no one but your mom is reading all that shit lmao.
Last Story - OP needs to start talking to a divorce lawyer and hire a P.I. immediately. Sorry man, your marriage is already over.
She may not be at the house cheating, but she's definitely meeting up with other men and sleeping at their place. OP is being too nice it's annoying
@@KarmaTube5 He is VERY naive and I didn't see his behavior as being too nice, but it makes sense! I can't imagine she's home 24/7 and he knows where she is at all times. She probably tells him that she is having a "lunch date with her friends" and other excuses to meet guys. People will go to their affair partner's house or to a hotel if they can't bring them to their own home. She is giving him plenty of clues and he's ignoring the red flags.
@@dragonfliesnh4204 He claims to work from home and knows her whereabouts so is pretty sure she is not cheating yet. Of course this could be untrue but if we take it at face value, this is probably why she is bringing it up. She wants to sleep around but has figured out there is no way she could do it secretly so she's trying to get his permission to do it openly.
The guy not only shouldn't be around kids, he's almost certainly not legally allowed to be around kids.
He shouldn’t be legally allowed to live
The guy shouldn't be around oxygen.
Ha 69 likes.
@@redbunny22agreed
It's 200% illegal for him to be around kids and sister is stupid enough to have kids with him (aka bring more victims into the world for him).
Story 2: I'm glad that the GF acknowledges that she has some issues and seeking help, because that behavior is SUPER unhealthy. Hope everything turns out well for the two
Not a medical professional, yet, but I am doing phycology classes for Early childhood phycology, and it sounds like standard meltdowns seen with most nurodivergents.
It's a shutdown response from autism. The mutism is a giveaway a meltdown is different.@@Trisanite
@@Trisanite as an autistic person, I was hearing the story (hasn't finished yet lol) and my reaction was "it looks like she's having meltdowns when her routine is disturbed or when she gets overwhelmed"
@@CommanderDarcy agreed… my brother was autistic and I work with kids with special needs, many of which are on the spectrum… she seems very similar to many of my clients and my brother. I wouldn’t be surprised if she is on the spectrum.
@@Trisanite agreed… I took developmental services and social services and work with individuals with special needs and had an autistic brother… I’d honestly be surprised if she didn’t turn out to be neurodivergent and feel like she’s likely on the autism spectrum.
Story 3: Honestly, the test theory from RSlash would be the most justifiable reason why they suddenly disinherited OP and her brother. Like, they didn't actually disinherit the two, but will actually do it based on the reactions they get.
However, there is also the possibility that they are just giving their two kids the middle finger, but automatically assuming that is a bit of a stretch.
Honestly, from the sound of it, the kids should have gone NC with their parents *ages* ago from all the emotional abuse and manipulation. They want to do this with their money? Fine, let them, but the kids don’t have to put up with their BS anymore.
I'm going with the latter.
Looks to me like OP is hurt (feeling cheated) without getting the money. They do not want to go NC with parents also probably is also due to the money.
Nah. It's just more manipulation on the part of the parents against OP and her brother.
Looks like OP wants some of their money, and they wanted grandkids, and neither is getting what they want, so money goes to charity! I bet if both kids had families they'd be getting the inheritance 100%
as an Asexual person myself i feel for the husband in the fourth story. it sucks that OP had to hid her true self because of her church but that doesn't excuse cheating.
I feel same... She probably got overwhelmed since it's was her first time, but she could have handle it better... Celibacy isn't as rare as some think but even the church would encourage sex in marriage. Husband and wife should have had therapy
@@Mx-rr3qm If they seek therapy, it should be with someone far from the church who would attempt to "fix" their relationship. She's gay and sexually active, he's asexual - there's no saving that, so marriage counseling would be useless. Unless you're suggesting they should seek therapy separately, then yes.
Also I don't think we can consider this a situation of "cheating" considering OP mentions her husband encouraged her to have sex with women, soooo...
Person with kids doesn't want a relationship with a child molester?
Yeah...Normal. Dating a convicted child molester is abnormal.
you have to wonder how that ever came to be, did the sister just go around looking for ex convicts to date?
@@dinlupus3196 Hybristophilia. My own sorry excuse of a 'sister' has it.
@@Sapphiresenthissi think i know that word, it means that you are sexually attracted to inappropriate partners, right?
@@dinlupus3196 I thought it was when you are sexually attracted to criminals
I find dating monsters weird you're a human being you should date other human beings not monsters
I feel bad for the woman in the second story. I don’t breakdown over little things much anymore but I used to. It mostly got better because my barometer for bad things got skewed pretty hard over the course of my life. Thankfully, my boyfriend is very patient and caring and can almost always pull me out of a bad state
Sounds familiar. The worst part is, people expect an explanation, then dismiss the way you feel, because it doesn't fit the situation.
I ended up making a difference between subjective stress (that I feel) and objective stress (that's considered real or proper stress). Then got stuck with the question of why there's even a difference, which I couldn't explain. My theory is, while I'm considered neurotypical due to how subtle any sign of autism is, those signs are still severe enough for my brain work like a neurodivergent one
Someone should make a dabney bingo grid, with things like "mentions brains tumor", "talks about being a dad" "makes 'help me step-dad' references at the slightest mention of incest"
Dont forget the mention of "if you want ____ so bad then YOU do it"
@@KillerOstrich That's the free space
This honestly sounds like a fun thing to put together.
If i didnt listen to rslash first thing in the morning after my alarm goes off id be doing bingo along with every video lmao
I feel so sorry for the lady in story 4 AND her husband. My guess is that they married so people at their church would think they were "normal" and it's just ended up sad for both of them.
Fuck no. She has 0 excuse to fucking cheat.
My thoughts exactly. It sounds more like a marriage of convenience so hopefully they'll be able to stay friends and they can be true to themselves.
Relationship advice is basically just a less complete version of Redditor updates. I wanna know what happened to the two married best friends!
Honestly I agree. I always get excited for the update, but there never is one, it's just a tease x-x
I wanted more from that story so badly.
I'm hoping that the 'best friend' husband can be happy for them. Even act as a beard if needed.. they could set up a non-traditional household together and live long happy lives
This needs a lot of discussion between him and her. I hope they come to some kind of resolution.
After the guy finds out that his wife cheated on him, I doubt they'll be best friends.
Now this might be bias talking but, for story 2 the girlfriend might want to see if she can be screened for an autism diagnosis. These sound similar to meltdowns that I can have when I'm overstimulated and the fact that she can keep it together around others feel like masking through the issues around strangers. I did this at school, my teacher's loved me in their classes because I was very well behaved, but at home I would have screaming and sometimes violent meltdowns due to the built up stress and overstimulation that I was repressing throughout the day over very minor issues, like having to do chores or eat a new type of food that wasn't one of my safe foods.
She's having these crying fits over changes in routine, like not being able to park in the same spot, needing to get up earlier, and she knows it's an issue, I knew I was a problem but meltdowns are not like tantrums, they look very similar but tantrums are intentional, meltdowns are involuntary and often result in a loss of control. I would scream and cry and throw things all the while knowing I needed to stop but being unable too. Even now when I have them it's incredibly scary, and it can be so much worse when you don't understand why it's happening. Even if this is an anxiety disorder some form of intervention is needed here somehow.
These were also my thoughts. Probably high fuctioning, give the ability to see in hindsight that these behaviors are problematic, but not able to control them in the moment.
Yea it does sound like an autism thing to me. I definitely have random things I must have right. Not as much as most but still do have them. Not the crying stuff but more frustration than anything else.
@@steinschlange1457functioning labels are no longer used 🫶 it can be extremely ableist. Everyone who has autism deals with it differently.
yeah thats what i was thinking too but im might be bias
Yeah, while reading the description, I instantly thought that she's some flavor of neurospicy, it's a trauma response of some kind, or both. The bit about how she's "fine" around people she doesn't know as well sounds a lot like masking. I hope OP realizes how big a show of trust it is for her to be more herself around him!
Story 2: as someone who is diagnosed neurodivergent it sounds like the girlfriend is autistic. It sounds like she's masking around her coworkers but is comfortable enough to unmask around her friends and family, allowing herself to have the meltdowns that she's otherwise bottling up.
Story 2: "She only acts like this around me, close friends, and family. When she's around coworkers, she's totally normal and can handle a lot of BS."
Autism spectrum. 100%. She masks around coworkers and lets herself react naturally around those she's comfortable with. These outbursts are uncontrollable autistic meltdowns.
Masking is the act of a neurodivergent person subduing their quirks (sensory issues, social etiquette, stimming) to seem like a "normal" person to their peers. It's incredibly exhausting, and we need to spend time unmasked to make sure we don't work ourselves into a seemingly unprompted meltdown.
There's also this thing called "spoon theory". Every action a person takes requires a specific amount of spoons (energy). Neurotypical people have a lot more spoons than an autistic person, and can therefore handle a lot more bullshit. So when you spend all your spoons masking your quirks, you don't have any left to handle minor inconveniences. She needs therapy to help her manage these things and potentially get screened for the autism spectrum if she isn't hiding a diagnosis from op.
Story 2: i feel like that girl needs an autism evaluation and to learn some coping mechanisms. she’s not having “tantrums,” she’s having meltdowns. she subconsciously feels more comfortable unmasking and expressing herself around OP. i hope things work out for her and OP.
Story 1: I'm a firm believer in rehabilitation and going straight after hard time, but a convicted p word that makes up excuses and is not sorry for what he did will never get a job ever again. And I can't say I blame your sister for not wanting him around her daughter, are you not supporting a marriage that you see is very toxic.
Edit to add: that's not a lot of information but the part about the aunt is enough to say you most definitely are not wrong not wanting to be around this guy. And I'm pretty sure your sisters never going to tell you what happened because well it won't make things better.
Yeah, I was gonna make a comment about how society makes it so criminals like this can’t make a living and then wonder why people reoffend, but at the same time, what jobs is he applying for that he’s always getting rejected? Surely he’s not trying to get jobs that deal with children, right…..?
@@Tustin2121but that's just it, he went to prison for doing God's know what to kids, not to mention he has no education. So he will have to find a low standard job that can guarantee no children will be around. The only thing that comes to mind is bartending, he could get his bartending license . At the same time would you want to be around not convicted pedofile who did Time?
@@d.phantomfan1216- It wasn’t actually clear if he did time too. And it would be nice if we knew what God knew about what he did. I’ve had a friend in the past who was falsely accused of indecent exposure because his neighbor hated him and he peed against a tree in the woods behind his house one day. And that took way too much to fight that BS and not get him on a registry. But yeah, obviously, you wouldn’t want the guy near any kids if he was indeed guilty of something heinous.
My former church (before i moved for a new job in a different state) had a convicted p start attending. They first sent out a email to everyone notifying them that he was starting to attend. The rules were that he would be in the front pew with 2 adult chaperones each sunday and would not interact with children.
This seemed to be a functional solution.
I got to know him a bit, from what i gathered he offended against minors when he was 18 or 19 and seemed truly horrified by his actions. He did spend a couple years in jail. Lost contact with him after covid.
My point is that p's can be included with strong guardrails.
@@Tustin2121 the thing is, with a devoted piggybank why _would_ he want to work? He's not worth rehabilitation yet before he even shows remorse or tries, idk, anything to be better.
The outburst story sounds like autistic meltdowns and that shes masking around co workers
Editing just to put it out there it also said she went "mute" which leads me to believe she goes non verbal
Yeah all those changes that he can’t see how much they affect her
That or maybe bipolar disorder
I'm autistic and don't see a lot of her in my in this post if she has autism that isn't discovered i think she has also a hormonal disease because my family that didn't know i have autisme will correct me if i do something not nurotypical (that's how autistic women get raised and also the reason autistic women are better at masking there autistic traits then men with autism)
@@juliaboskamp9666 It's almost like it's a spectrum or something.
@@KattoTang i know that but if she is so long alive her family would already correct unusable behaviour
😮wait, hold up. We need an update on the Ace Husband and Closeted Wife
UPDATE
Honestly , because this just screams awkward convo
There was an update where OP went into more detail about the dynamic of their marriage (her husband is more her friend and their "relationship" was always a cover to hide the fact that she's closeted and he's asexual, since being childfree and gay is stigmatized in their community). The update ended with this:
"Very late last night he told me he knew something was really bothering me, that he had a feeling he knew what it was, and that we are going to talk about it, tonight. And then he held me for what seemed forever."
Don't see any other updates since. Hopefully things went fine and they're both able to escape their garbage community so they don't have to face the social pressure of faking a relationship.
@beck-nightengale Thank you very much for the update
The term for his sentence means that he was convicted but avoided jail because we all know what happens to people when there crimes involves kids
Story 4 has an edit/update (ish). It was posted the following day but nothing since she said they were going to talk.
Here it is in full:
Thank you all for taking the time to give me much to consider, amidst the deluge of hate and name-calling, there's been a lot of empathy, encouragement, and thoughtful advice. Thank you so much. Many of you were correct in assumptions about me, and our marriage. So here's a bit more detail...I was trying yesterday not to make my post too long.
Yes, our marriage was very much to avoid the overwhelming stigma in our (raised-in) faith that goes with staying single, wanting to be chidfree, being gay, etc. We both had, and do have great affection for each other, but were not self-aware enough to figure that the social pressure was the reason for our young marriage, and be honest about it to one another until several years in. We've been comfortable about us in an open (privately of course) and honest way. We joke that we are like secret agents, with our own "cover story"....our main one being that I am, sadly, infertile.
I prayed every day since I was a teen for God to take away my same sex attraction, and then would pray for forgiveness for being angry at God that it didn't happen. My husband, in whom I confided about my struggle long before we married, has prayed beside me in this countless times, but has always been adamant that he prays for my heart to be at peace about the matter, not for me to change. That has always been incredibly meaningful to me, and I've always let him know it. Praying, for both of us, has increasingly lessened for several years now. Our church attendance is mostly pro-forma now. When I'm there now, I find myself looking around, and wondering how many others are also there "just to be there."
No, my husband isn't gay. He's funny, kind, always helping others, the real deal of a man. He's just completely asexual, and about a 9 out of 10 aromantic also. No one, but no one could ever have a better friend. We've discussed in the last few years (HE has brought it up) that perhaps I should have physical relationships with other women to be happy, but I'd always shut that down.
Very late last night he told me he knew something was really bothering me, that he had a feeling he knew what it was, and that we are going to talk about it, tonight. And then he held me for what seemed forever.
I know this is 4 months old but I wanna thank you for posting the update! Even with just the first post it sounded like it was a marriage of convenience for both of them and I felt for op. With this added context it sounds like op's husband would be fine with what happened. I mean they may be married but they sound like roommates and not in the "they were roommates!" kind of way. Her husband sounds like a great guy and I think bot lh are lucky to have one another.
I hope that whether they stayed married or not they're both happy and still best friends
Dabney, I know of a reddit story where, in a divorce case, the husband agreed to give 75% of his future pay in exchange for keeping the house, and keeping his retirement accounts. He than quit his job due to " the stress and depression of divorce" and then got a minimum wage job.
Oh yes, ha ha, a clever way of screwing the ex over. Good on that guy for playing it to his favor. Barely giving his ex pocket change to make ends meet. It's hilarious. That woman thought she would live in the lap of luxury on his dime, but instead she ends up having to scrape by and work extra to compensate.
@DesertRainReads why do you automatically assume that the exwife was taking advantage of the husband?
@@ohboy-zi1yfbecause that is the majority of cases that make it to the public sphere. Which is also just a ton of examples, even if it isn't the majority of cases
Are you saying this because you want him to read that story?
Some of you, including rSlash, grew up with good and good enough parents and it shows (and more power to you).
As someone who grew up with abusive parents and faced a similar situation*, I completely disagree that the disinheritance story was 'a test'. The obvious answer is: the parents are taking this tactic to further manipulate OP and her brother.
The parents are taking this tactic to further entrench in OP the idea that she is inherently unloveable and must earn her parents love. It is only a matter of time that they get too old to care for themselves and insist OP give up her own life to care for them in their dying days - one last chance to show she is 'good enough' for them to love. In the meantime, by getting OP all wound up they have ensured themselves of an ongoing source of narcissistic supply with this new angst and unhappiness from OP to zest things up a bit for them.
I hope that OP continues to move forward in healing her mental health and that she has the help and support she needs to finally see what toxic people her parents are - to see that the problem is with them rather than with her.
---
*My mother threatened to disinherit me for moving away to go to grad school (she is angry that I now have more education - 'think I am better than' - her). I moved, got my degree, got therapy, went NC with mother and most of my FOO, and now have a contented life with people who love me. Was I disinherited? I don't know - maybe. Could I use the money? YES. But, was it worth it to not 'sell my soul' to that toxic person? YES. I am not sure what I would 'sell my soul' for, but I do know it is more than what I would have inherited from my parents' estate. I finally know and believe that I am worth more than anything that I could ever get from them.
100% agree with you. I feel like op is continuously competing for the their love and this just feels like emotional blackmail.
Wow! "Sell your soul" is quite the way to put it! No amount of inheritance is worth entertaining a narcissist when it's not even guaranteed.
*First OP:* It's wild and highly infuriating that the ped calling OP's niece a B-word was _not_ the worst thing it did to a child. I hope OP's sister comes to her senses.
*Second OP:* Sounds like OP and his partner need therapy. If her behavior persists, then he needs to end things with her.
*Third OP:* _OP:_ "My parents and I have a good relationship (though, not as good as I thought).
_Also OP:_ "They would say 'Your father and I are really disappointed in you'."
Poor OP and her brother. They need to cut off contact with their "parents" yesterday. And get therapy.
*Fourth OP:* C'mon, rSlash; not everyone's gonna lose their V-card before their thirties! 😛
As for OP, hopefully her husband will understand. Maybe they could make arrangements.
*Fifth OP:* Yeah, she's cheating on OP. She might even leave him before he leaves her.
Ironically OP IS in therapy, probably needs more sessions tho.
i doubt that the sister has senses, she's been supporting him for 7 YEARS
@@dinlupus3196 I think she needs to see a doctor about that.
Are we ignoring the fact OP on the story 4 cheated on him with a women? Even if he understand is FAR FAR FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR to late for anything at all.
Even if is the right thing, it will still be wrong too. I know is circumstances but she could it FAR sooner instead of lying to her husband.
Story 2: Sounds like unmasked autism, as these are very very similar to meltdowns I have, but now she knows her boyfriend is not a safe person to unmask around. This will probably make it seem like the issue has been fixed, but she's going to burn out on the relationship very quickly if she's constantly having to mask through her frustrations like she's at work.
"Getting it under control" may never be a real option as autism is a disability that does not go away. Some coping mechanisms can help a little, but if she is having to mask at work, distant family, and at home with her partner? The meltdowns of not being able to fake it anymore are going to be extreme and could leave her in a shut down state. She needs a safe place to operate as she is, because that's just who she is.
I hope the therapists recognise this and refer her to the right professionals to get an assessment and hopefully if correct a proper diagnosis
The parents can do what every they want with there money but making there kids guilty for not making a family on their own is a little wrong but Rslash has a point people with a lot of money have insecurity issues about people who hang out with them only do so for money
The rich parents who bequeathed nothing to their own kids actually handed the kids a huge gift: the grown kids can now have whatever relationship they want with their parents, knowing that a huge payoff is not coming.
Go low or no contact, if you wish. Live authentically and breathe free, my friends!
Geez, you shoulda seen my grandparent pull strings over their grown kids, dangling an inheritance like a puppet master! When they all got next to nothing, my parent regretted all their kowtowing for all those decades. Very sad.
My mom did the same thing. When I was 15, she randomly asked me what I thought would happen to the house when she died. Confused, I said "I thought it would go to me?" She laughed like don't be silly and told me she'd leave it to charity.
What Slash said about brain tumors is real. When as a freshman in college, friends from high school came to visit me. They were part of my friends group. I was informed that a close friend died from a brain tumor. They said for less than a year prior to his passing his attitude changed 180 degrees to being mean and nasty. When the tumor was discovered it was inoperable and he passed away soon afterwards. It stung me badly as we were close.
Story 3: I think the parents are trying to goad their son into getting married and having a kid with the subtle idea that they will leave the money to him if he does it, or it gets donated to charity if he doesn't.
For the girlfriend story:
She might be high-functioning autistic.
I have had stupid episodes about dumb stuff like not being able to get my spaghetti sauce can open (defective can opener), or my charging brick falling off my bed. Stupid stuff you shouldn't be having meltdowns over.
I was recently screened, and it turns out I'm a high-functioning autistic.
Perhaps the reason she has those meltdowns over dumb stuff is because she's high functioning, and the people she loves are her safe space.
I think seeing a therapist or counselor would be a huge help.
See if that's the case, and go from there.
I never melted down around others because I was afraid to scare them away. I already don't have a lot of people in my life that I love deeply, so my greatest fear is scaring away my kindred spirits by having a full-on meltdown. So of course, everyone has different experiences, and what is great for one autistic person might be terrible for another.
Story 2: girl I smell undiagnosed autism
literally had to rewind to make sure i didn't miss something bc sounds like she's not masking in front of op? i hope she's able to get some help with regulating her emotions tho, it seems awful for all parties.
That’s what I thought too. I don’t have autism, but ADHD with autistic tendencies and this sounds like me when I have a brain overload. Masking until breakdown.
Me
I also thought this man
I had to take a double take with the "brain tumor"
I was looking for this comment because my first thought when OP said she only does it around close friends, is that she masks her frustrations at work. I really hope his girlfriend gets the support she needs from a professional, who can guide her. being an undiagnosed adult is tough.
I wonder what R Slash thought about the cheating story. Must have been quite the rant that he had to cut it out.
When it comes to p-words I'm a believer in the Hammurabi method. Separate the criminal from his tool of crime.
Story 3:imagine the charity they're giving all their money to is a scam
Most of them are scams meant to write off taxes anyways.
Charaties are scams. Billion $ companies asking people like me for a fkn donation. Insert Elon Musk's recent mic drop.
Story 2: I had the same thing as the partner in this story. Crying over minor things, mood being destroyed over things not going my way. I have Bipolar disorder, and those overblown reactions stem from a manic episodes. OP should send his partner to Psychiatrist to get the help she needs, since it can't be controled without meds. Mania is dangerous (more so than depression) because it gradualy eats away at your mind, blurring the boundries between reality and fiction.
Sounds way more like autism to me, especially with her going mute and the meltdowns being caused by routine changes, but she can get assessed for both at the same time
Story 1: 25-7= 18. This sister met this man at 18 in the best circumstances. I can't help but wonder if she met him even earlier...
He's also only a year older than her though
Last story: is it silly for me to think she doesn't want to cheat but wants OP to cheat and present that evidence to the jugdes and get a great deal?
It's not unreasonable. I could also see it as her trying to soften the blow of her being ace, but considering how specific (and potentially self-esteem ruining) that supposed fantasy is...I think she's looking for something new, herself.
@@CrazyQuilman157 yeah, that's also my way of thinking, but why talk about prostitutes? Like she's saying "go f with anyone" Idk, I hope there's an update to this.
Wait. Story 1:
The girlfriend in the story is 21, and they’ve been together for 7 years??? Did I hear that right?? So they started dating at 14? The girlfriend was groomed!
Edit: I was wrong here! Got the ages wrong!
Right? He's a pedophile she picked up as a child and has been taking care of? How can a 14 year old take care of a grown man? There must be some mistake there. Maybe she tried to switch some ages.
Actually no. OP is 21, the sister who's marrying the douche is 25, he's 26, so they started dating at 18 and 19. What I cant get my head around (besides the obvious) is how a 18yo girl decided "oh lemme just completely financially support this guy I just started dating" and keep it up for 7 years. That's gotta be a massive burden on her and the relationship
@potterfanforever6082 i hope OP's sister sees one that what a discussing POS her soon to be husband is and gets away from him
Did we get a timeline for when he was convicted in relation to them dating? I can see this maybe making a little more sense if they were already dating when this incident happened. I’m also still curious as to what exactly he did, because there is such a thing as getting falsely accused… I had a friend who got falsely accused once because his neighbor hated him and he made the “mistake” of peeing against a tree in his own backyard…
@@potterfanforever608218 at the earliest...but I wonder if that's just how long op's known about the suppport.
Story 2 sounds like a hormone imbalance. I used to be like that..BAD.. after getting therapy and proper medication, I'm WAY better.
1st story. There is absolutely no excuse for what that monster has been convicted of. I've had several friends that have turned out to be one and every time I've found out they always come up with some excuse. The general excuse was "I was drunk" or "I didn't know they were underage." Yet I've never found myself doing things I shouldn't with a minor. I exist in circles where children and teens tend to be present. I also used to be active in terms of having a partner. You always check ID before you even say anything that could be inappropriate. I've been drunk before and I've never accidentally ended up doing something with a minor. Being drunk doesn't change who you are as a person. You also shouldn't be getting blackout drunk around minors if you tend to be a flirty drunk. I also have a big bucket of mental disorders and I'm not the only one in my friend group who does. If so many of us can mutually agree that children are not appealing whatsoever, then that's a good indication that anyone who thinks differently is the odd one out. There is absolutely no excuse for taking advantage of children. I've had to contact parents regarding former friends and the things they've done to their children. I've recorded confrontations that I've had to turn in where they have outright admitted to it. Regardless of their excuse the result is the same. They end up being ruled guilty and the children have to end up in extensive therapy. What these monsters do is so damaging and that pain the victims feel follow them throughout their whole life. It never goes away no matter how many years pass. And anyone who chooses to associate with such monsters are just as guilty in my book.
Second story makes me think of untreated autism and masking for work but not able to mask anywhere else anymore...
Views on fidelity: Cheating is completely possible here, but I think another possibility is that OP's wife is trying to starve him of intimacy to use that as a manipulation tactic later. For instance, if OP finally breaks and confronts his wife about it, she then says 'Well, maybe we can work something out if we involve someone else.' or she then confronts him about an open marriage, she can hold that over him as a sort of, 'well, you want this so bad, lets help each other out.'
Sexual predators are rarely rehabilitated. Because they don't want to be
real rehabilitation relies on a person fully accepting their actions and take responsibility for them , this guy make excuses , so he really don't view himself like at fault for what he did, simply blaming external circumstances for it
I feel like people are being too hard on the woman in the second story, not that she doesn't need help or that her actions are totally excusable and don't hurt anybody but listening to how she reacted really reminded me of my own experiences as an autistic person.
1. Getting excessively worked up over small things until she has a major breakdown over it sounds like a textbook meltdown over lack of consistency, like really who has a favourite parking spot? It sounds awfully like the hyper specific things I and other autistic people (not all) find ourselves fixating and relying on.
2. Only being this way around OP and close family/friends, literally just sounds like she doesn't mask around people she trusts which is why she may seem more normal around co-workers and others that would cast more judgement on her more unusual sensitivity etc.
Either way I'm glad she's actually open to therapy and improvement, because even if she DID have autism or some other mental health struggle she will benefit from some more resilience and it will make OP's life easier ad well, I just wanted to put my two cents bc ppl are being pretty harsh considering her willingness to work on things lol.
As another autistic, I had the same line of thought!!!
This was exactly my thought too
"Who has a favorite parking spot?"
Right here. I don't cry about it being taken, though.
As much as I feel bad for the lady in the fourth story, having to keep herself closeted, as much as she has, you can’t deny the fact that she is still cheating on her partner with another person. If anything, I feel worse for her husband, who is effectively just a beard in this case.
True, OP should be allowed to freely be the kind of woman she wants to be; but that should not involve hurting someone so significantly in the process. I can’t pity her, regardless of her sexuality.
She’s cheating. There’s no if’s, and’s or butts about it.
You missed the part where she said she wants to divorce/leave him. Lol. And I honestly don’t blame her for it. Yes, she cheated, and yes, they should divorce. Then she can go live her life and he can live his.
True, she cheated. However, it sounds like theirs was a *lavender marriage* - he's _asexual,_ in case you missed it. Effectively, _they were each other's beards._ Being married for so long, they were only cuddle buddies, and could probably explain away not having kids as it just "not being in the cards" (which, they never dealt the cards to begin with, so who's to say?)
The husband might be fine with separating, or staying married and letting her continue on with Eve on the down-low to preserve their relationships with their friends, family, and church.
Small correction: she cheated, past tense. While I agree with you, it was a mistake that made her realize what she truly wants in life and is actively taking steps to change that. I just find that her expecting her husband to “just be her best friend” after this though….is kinda conceited and arrogant and, quite frankly, entitled as fuck. If the guy cheated, there is maybe one universe where they remain friends, just not this one.
@@NotAFanOfHandles asexual doesn't mean aromantic, he could love her, you don't know that. You don't know what his feelings on the matter are
Not really? Yes she went didn't tell him but the situation is WILDLY different than a romantic marriage. This is a 'lavender marriage', when queer people marry each other (a man and woman, or people pretending to be such) to hide the fact that they're queer and pretend to be straight in public. People in those marriages had romantic/sexual relationships with other people they were actually attracted to all the time and that's kind of just how it was. It just feels like your friend going out and having sex with someone, basically. They know they're in a lavender marriage, we've seen that.
I think the extra context in the update makes it more clear. He's 1) not only asexual but aroace and isn't romantically attracted to her and 2) has always prayed with her not to change herself but to love herself as she is.
With both the history of lavender marriages doing this stuff all the time, his inability to romantically love her at all and the husband always encouraging her to love women and be herself, I genuinely don't think he'd think of it as cheating at all.
Story 1: yeah there are so many jobs he could still get fast food under table, drug dealer, politician, so many options
The last story about op's wife who wants to what it's like to go to bed with another person is that she is already cheating on her husband and the husband doesn't even know it
Story One:
If the Sister ever had kids of her own and the Child Predator “abuses” his own kids, then the sister would either be “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HE’S A SICKO?!” Or defends him by saying “Oh my kids are a bunch of BRATS! Their Daddy was JUST playing around!”.
If it’s the latter, then the Sister can go rot in hell with the Child Predator! She’s going to hell anyways FOR defending him in the first place!
But something tells me that he probably groomed and manipulated Sister into thinking that he’s “a victim of circumstance.”.
Also, who calls kids a B****?!
Story Three:
If the Parents are gonna be SUPER toxic to their kids by giving the inheritance to charity, then they can enjoy the loneliness that they’ve so wanted because they’re super spiteful at the kids’ decisions on how they should live their lives.
Also, they’re major hypocrites here. They’re gonna give the money to charity, while their adult kids are working hard to earn and save their money in order to live.
To be condescending to their own kids in a spiteful manner?
Yeah no, OP’s parents should be disowned and cut out from their lives.
Those toxic pricks are looking for a way to get what THEY want and hope that OP and their sibling give up their freedom and lives to be their caretaker monkeys.
I hate parents that takes advantage, use and control their kids into being their personal servants and such!
Wow. That 1st story hit close to home and was definitely a bit triggering for me personally. I'm currently dealing with something similar. I was dating this guy at the beginning of the year who, while we were dating, was caught in a sting and arrested for trying to have sexual relations with a 14 year old girl. I found the CZcams video of him being confronted and arrested. I experienced emotional trauma from it that I never in my life thought I'd have to face. I'm still dealing with ptsd from finding out that on the same day I was intimate with him for the last time, he was actively trying to get a 14 year old to meet up with him or FaceTime him, so he could sleep with her or she could help him "finish." It was 4 months before the charge was finally filed against him and as of yesterday, he entered a plea of not guilty (we're assuming) and they have a deposition hearing set for January. After all of that went down earlier this year, I found out just how many lies he was telling me. This man beat his daughter's mother throughout their entire relationship, threatened to unalive her multiple times. He has a very young daughter himself. The woman he started dating after me, has a young son herself and she is fully aware of the charges and what he did. I kid you not, his defense is he was in a really bad head space from not being able to see his daughter (Which is BS for so many reasons) and that there wasn't an "actual minor" involved, so this is all BS and it's going to be dropped. I kid you not. His GF, who moved in with his aunt and uncle and him after like 2 months of knowing the guy, believes this as well. Even after her own child was removed from her and the house by the courts once the child's dad and step-mom found out about everything. She legit knows about what he did to his daughter's mother, too. Knows everything and still believes him that none of it's true and she just is out to ruin his life. The aunt and uncle believe this as well. It's disgusting. This is a man who at the very least, has single handedly emotionally traumatized at least 2 women so badly that we're still dealing with trying to heal and also at least 1 child and then left an impact on his own daughter and her having to know what kind of monster her sperm donor is once she's older. So, there are disgusting humans out there who will use the depression card as an excuse for ped****lia and have zero remorse or regret for it and only show regret that is 100% because they were caught. I know because I'm living in that reality, and it's horrible. He's only facing a 5th degree felony charge that could possibly be plead down to a 6th degree, and in the state we live in, 4th degree and higher are the only ones who have to register as s*x offenders. It's BS, and knowing that he will very likely walk away from all of this with just a slap on the wrist essentially, makes it so much worse.
Story 4: she crossed the line by cheating on him. There's no coming back from this.
The only way is to come clean and accept whatever consequences she will face from this, even if it means losing the best friend forever.
it's annoying to me when cheaters try to obfuscate their cheating with their sexuality. You still cheated....
Yeah, people who pull the “I did something terrible but it’s because it turns out I’m gay so you can’t punish me” are hurting so many people at once. Sometimes you just need to own your bad choices instead of dragging down an entire community with you. It’s not the business of the people at church whether you’re gay and at my church we don’t condemn people for that, but having an affair at a hotel with your friend is definitely frowned upon.
Ya, being gay is fine but you have to end things before the cheating starts or change the terms of your marriage consensually. Claiming it's because your gay makes the entire gay community look bad to people who want to find something wrong with it. So thanks for hurting everyone.
I wouldn't be surprised if the husband is also gay and they just unintentionally became each other's beards while they were in self denial.
Another commentor said that in the update he encouraged her to have sexual relationships with women, so then it wouldn't be cheating because he sanctioned it. Seems like it was platonic on both sides, so not a regular married in any sense
Story 1 bro i got depression and if i have one of those days i eat a crap ton of ice cream or something like that and cry i *do not* hurt children he didn't have depression he is just a disgusting excuse of a human being
I'm in full agreement with you, holy crap, what a pig that dude is. He needs to be locked away.
I will say that maybe the dickbag *did* have depression, but that is not an excuse and is probably just unrelated background to use as one.
Heck my depression sometimes makes me want to harm myself not be a chomo.
Last story reminded me of another where the wife asked for permission to cheat, cheated anyway when OP said no and then tried to get OP to forgive her and stop him from divorcing her, which didn't happen. I see this story going down the same path.
Story 2: There is a possibility that she either has extreme anxiety, autistism, some kind of trigger with failure, or it could even be Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). If she gets diagnosed with that last one, it’s chronic. Therapy can help provide techniques to make it less of an issue for the patient and the people in their lives. Self-calming techniques, communication practice, cognitive reconstruction (learning to look at troubling situations with less severity), and medication. So, even though it’s chronic, there’s definitely help available and I hope she benefits from her therapy.
I think it’s messed up and disturbing that CZcams has the word “pedophile” censored???
i hope i never meet that man in the first story not for my safety but for his
Love how Dabney reacted to that first story, especially the yelling even though it startled me.
Story 2: as someone who's autistic, it sounds like OP's partner is autistic and possibly suffering from autistic burnout. OP seems afraid and worried for his partner because he doesn't understand what's going on, and I don't blame him. Understanding autism as someone who isn't autistic is very difficult, sometimes even trying to understand someone else's autism as an autistic person can be difficult. I recommend that they both do some research with actually autistic people as their main source because, quite frankly, most textbooks are outdated or only teach about how to suppress autistic symptoms (typically referred to as "masking" by autistic people) rather than how to help them feel better with things like sensory overstimulation, processing emotions, etc.
For that second story, it sounds like she has some shade of autism?? Maybe a break in routine is causing emotional stress that leads to these outbursts?? Either way, it’s nice to see a story of both parties in a relationship talking and not immediately blockading the other for bringing up an issue
Story 4
Nothing wrong with being a lesbian. Whats wrong and makes op a shitty person is cheating
Thank you
Totally agree with this. I'm also worried what RSlash must have said to cut out his reaction
From what OP said though, they're just married best friends. The only way it would be cheating is if OP lied and the husband actually does see OP as a romantic partner, but we can't know that.
@@cynister7384 They're married and op never said she told him. She also never said it was understood it was okay for them to have sex with others. Also why would she fell sad if it was okay for her to have sex with the other girl? She a lying, cheating hoe and that's the end of it.
@@royalbluegaming7763 I don't think he cut out his reaction, he might of just not had one.
Was so confused but I think u hit the nail with inheritance story rslash. Makes sense
Story 1 : Why have contact with her!? Go no contact! Sister made her choice, let her live with it!
The girl having the tantrums is giving off high end autism vibes to me… I truly feel like she may be on the spectrum and just never got diagnosed and hence never had a chance to develop proper coping strategies.
Yeah. When op mentioned that she doesn't act that way around others my immediate thought was "Oh. She's masking"
It's probably a autistic burn out (i had one 1.5 years ago because i was masking to much and i can tell you maskingto long will hurt you physically and mentally) so maybe she only is now masking at places that isn't safe without masking
@@Mothman1992 same
@@juliaboskamp9666 possibly… sounds like she only tends to do it around people she knows well at least which means she is still masking around the general public… it could just be she is comfortable with him or because she just can’t mask all the time anymore.
@@ChaoticAngelKitten yeah i know off autistic burn outs that happened when a autistic person is masking to much and will get physically and mentally pain
The first story That man would mysteriously disappear.
"sometimes I just get really sad and molest kids"😂 when put so bluntly, you can't help but laugh at how stupid it sounds
When I was in HS, I was going to homecoming with a guy I was acquainted with. He was nice enough, just a little odd.
My brother was doing a workshop with our local Sheriff’s Department….he came across a SA case and it was the guy I was going to homecoming with!!!
He told me afterwards and I stayed clear of the guy! He dropped out of school soon after anyway.
The girl with the doomsday mood swings. Sounds like deep depression. It’s easier to mask in the presence of people that are not close to you. It gets to the point though where it’s harder in front of the people that are. I only say this because I know this from experience. I could be dead wrong. I do know however that when I’m bad I can totally get that way. I hate it myself.
Story 4: He's ace and you're gay. Just have a talk with him. Tell him what happened, and tell him that you've been lying to yourself for your whole life. You want intimacy, and you don't want it with men. You're both victims of the church. You can leave each other mutually and understand that you weren't meant to be. Or you can stay married with the agreement that you like each other and the stability of your lives, but your relationship is platonic and you can have other partners
I'm pretty sure he knows she's a lesbian...
Story 1: If i was OP i would cut no contact with that sister. She is a lost cause at this point. And as someone who has depression, i vever once though of doing what the would be fiance did
Disinherited story: I feel OP. My adopters during a luncheon laughed in my face "you're not getting anything unless the we (the messed up couple) die at the same time! But thats rare like dying inna car crash!!"
Story 1: Wait, did I hear that correctly? The girlfriend is 21 years old, and she's been with the boyfriend for 7 years?? So, she's *FOURTEEN* when she dated him? Jesus, that makes it even worse!
He groomed her. No question about it.
The girlfriend is 25 and the boyfriend is 26… the sister is 21. So no, no grooming. They started dating when the sister was 18 and he was 19.
@@ChaoticAngelKittentrue but we don't know how long they've known each other BEFORE they got together.
@@dragonsteamworks6675 true but then he would have had to have cheated on her for it to work because for him to be a convicted predator he had to have done it at 18 or 19. If they got together before he did that, then he cheated on her with the child or teenager he m*lested and the cheating plus the criminal behaviour should have been enough to make her dump his rear… unless she is completely nuts… which she may be really.
As an autistic person, that second story the gf is 100% autistic. That is exactly how meltdowns go, and her not knowing she’s autistic for this long is making them worse. This is the byproduct of bad autism stigmas and the DSM5
I'm sorry but not every weird behavior is Autism.
Also this is bad behavior, she is lashing with people she knows will just "put it over".
@lizzymandile2022 don't really think so if she is autistic she would be corrected as a young girl for showing unlady like actions (aka having autism) that happens a lot with women with autism that's why women are better at masking then men with autism
And before you say it is a spectrum i am autistic and saying stuff like she is 100% autistic because she has these outburesd is hurtfull for the autistic comunety
@@juliaboskamp9666what you're saying is also hurtful for the autism community. You don't have to act "unlady like" as a kid to be autistic. As you said its a spectrum, people have different symptoms, different way of masking.
@@demoisellerose that is what parents and other family do to women with autism unwanted behaviour gets punished that's why so many people on the spectrum are traumatized
Love how fired up you get when kids are involved your a good person.
First story: He pled “No Contest” basically mean the defendant won’t fight the charges, but doesn’t admit guilt. Effectively, a guaranteed guilty verdict while taking no responsibility
And once again the opening line is wild
in regards to story one, what exactly did the dude do at 19? like actual bad shit or piss near a school?!
Since he got convicted and has a criminal record which employers don't want to go near, I'm guessing it's some bad shit.
@@cynister7384 right but the timeline doest hold up if its a serious crime like that duder would still be in prison, so its a bit odd that op's sister has supported(assuming financially) for 7 years.
Story1 How does op tell her sister that she won't be coming to the wedding or helping? Like this "I won't be coming to the wedding or helping you marry a pædofiIe."
Sugar coating won't help anything or anyone. Sis needs to know that she's lost everyone's respect and trust over this and that none of the family want them around their children. I say "them" because sis is an enabler and enablers enable. Often, they even help find victims whether or not they know they're doing it. Let's say sis comes to a family event and leaves him at home to prevent arguments. Sis takes photos while she's there as we all tend to do. Some of the photos have children in them. Do you think she's just not going to show them to her pædo boyfriend? I think we all know she would. She would probably send them to him if he told her to.
9:20 " & I'm disappointed that you two are my parents "
9:30 " & I'm thankful that my children won't have to bear you two as their grandparents "
Thank you for amazing videos rslash ❤
She’s a horrible parent, because she clearly had no idea. Her child was a predator. When she found out, she didn’t have the decency to make sure he was locked away forever.
There’s not much a parent can do to make sure their child stays locked up forever . Especially if the child is an adult . She probably was a bad mom though
first story...
I was about to comment about how someone can be reformed after serving his sentence but... the excuses he gives and (if true) the lack of regrets makes me think otherwise. the line said when accepting his sentence is a giveaway on his true character. probably a sociopath on top of it all. maybe even psychopath?
12:20 I feel so bad for op she's gonna lose her best friend that she cares for and cant even sleep at night because SHE FUCKING CHEATED poor baby
I feel so, so sorry for the "same sex attracted" (aka: lesbian) woman. I couldn't imagine denying who I really am for decades 😕
She is a villain who told you one side of the story. She cheated on her husband of many years who she calls her best friend many times in the post. Then she rationalized it by calling him a-sexual and identifying herself as sexually subjugated by some nonsensical church that she chose to go to. If she "realized" who she was, she should have divorced her husband before sleeping with her high school crush. She is no different than any other cheater.
@@johnbriggs1038
I mean...yeah, she cheated, but shes not a dime-a-dozen cheater. She's wrong for cheating, but she shouldnt have even BEEN in this marriage to begin with. She's likely been pigeon holed into this life by her very likely bigoted church, and while she should fess up to her husband, its just a messy situation overall, especially since divorce may be frowned upon depending on the church.
You might be right on a very broad level, but its just a sucky scenario no matter how you slice it, and I DO feel kinda bad for the OP.
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958she still cheated, if this was the husband saying the same thing you'd be saying he's a monster
I went through similar in terms of denying my sexuality for a long time while in a heterosexual marriage, though the situation was very different. There was no church pressure, I did recognise that I was attracted to women, my husband didn't identify as asexual and I didn't cheat. We mutually agreed to polyamory several years in, I dated and slept with a girl for the first time, and at that point I realised I wasn't bisexual like I'd thought - what I thought was attraction to men was more "well, I like him more than the average man", while my attraction to my girlfriend was the kind of head over heels, can't stop thinking about her, want to be with her every day feeling that all the songs, movies and books go on about. I feel sad for the person I could have been if I'd had chance to figure it out in my teens, rather than feeling pressured to hide my attraction to women (I grew up in a fairly homophobic area) and settling down with a man.
But you don't feel sorry for the husband?
Story 2: all right at least you know this isn't just a ploy for attention and she's willing to get the help she needs. Wish you and your GF the best.
1st story: OP, I'm sorry to say this, but your sister is a lost cause. You cannot save her. It's going to take a VERY hard lesson in life for her to come to her senses. Let's just hope she doesn't procreate with him.
He entered into a no contest plea meaning he isn't accepting guilt, but accepts that the DA may have enough information to move forward with a conviction and charges.
I feel so bad for story 4 I’m not a lesbian but I know how church can f**k up your life. It was pounded into my head no sex before marriage. Let’s just say I’m 49 and I’ve never been married. It didn’t help that my older sister had sex at 22 then started living with him not married and my mom was terrified I’d do the same. I finally blew up on her to please stop comparing me to her we’re not the same person. So I fell the complete opposite way. I’ve never had a relationship. Don’t get me wrong my mom was a wonderful mom she just grew up in a different time with old fashioned values. So I completely understand her being 43 and only having sex now. It is a shame that things like this happen and she lived a life she thought she had to.
I felt bad for the OP until the last part where she says she wants to keep her cake and eat it.
@@MrDoverfield where did she say that? She doesn't want to hurt him, but unless he is happy to accept her and her new found sexuality, he will be hurt. It sad all the way round really - he, has an asexual person, found someone who could stop questions and hounding from outsiders. She found the same, but now realises there is more to life and love. It's super sad that any outsider would judge whatever decision the three of them make, but they will be judged.
I hate the brainwashing and self hatred that comes from these groups. Imagine living a lie your whole life because you're terrified of being cut off from everyone and everything you've ever known. Not to mention that whole "h*ll" threat. No wonder there is so much ab*se the church communities. Everyone is pretending to be someone they aren't, and are miserable.
@@disgruntledmum4916 nothing wrong with being gay but cheating and then wanting to remain friends with the person you cheated on is being selfish.
@@MrDoverfieldsomeone was saying in the comments that there is an update and it's not actually cheating because he's been encouraging her to hook up with women?
He's apparently aroace as well so some people are saying this could be a lavender marriage. Where the issue might be the divorce itself because they be losing their protection.
Apparently just gets more complicated if you look at updates.
Story 1: If she's been supporting him for 7 years... and her sister is 21.... that means she KNOWINGLY DATED A PEDOPHILE while she had a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD SISTER!
Story 2: Full-on panic attack over a parking spot???? Yeah seriously this woman needs therapy.
Story 3: "We have a good relationship" the literal next sentence: "My mom's love for me is conditional and my dad's rage episodes keep me constantly on edge." Like, fucking pick one OP! And then two paragraphs later: "My parents are always saying that they're disappointed in my brother and I and calling us failures." It does seem like it is a test, like RSLASH said.
Story 4: She has sex for the first time at 43 while cheating on her husband. All sorts of messed up.
Story 5: I mean, 'doing it' with a prostitute or someone else as long as both partners consent is okay. That's just an open relationship. But, relating to the story, I don't even know what she's trying to communicate here? Does she want to have a '3-some' I think it's called? Or is she just telling him that she's going to cheat? Very confusing.
It’s alr to trash on her for cheating but making a joke about the lgbtq+ community in general isn’t cool
@@lilpanda936 damn sorry
I thought it would be funny/ok bc I'm lesbian and have never had a relationship with a girl let alone a real friendship
Then again I am a) stupid and b) a high schooler so it doesn't really apply.
Sorry
For story 2, the girl is most likely neurodivergent and I think she’s on the spectrum. Therapy should get her a diagnosis I hope!
For story 2, I think the girl might just be autistic, that's not much that can help with that really, other than some alternative coping mechanisms that help her not get into a meltdown so often
Also, for the polyamory joke you did, that isn't really polyamory and it would be best if you refrained from spreading the wrong definition /lh
Polyamory is usually close relationships between a bunch of people (going from 3 to who knows) where all or most of them are involved in some way, shape or form. What you were thinking about is an open relationship, where both partners are allowed to look for sexual favors on other places other than the partner they're together while maintaining a steady romantic relationship
As a brother to a sex offender i can confirm that almost NOWHERE will hire an SO if theres any other option. Yes what he did is bad and shouldn't be around kids. But the part about cant finding a job is true. And things "under the table" are illegal. Which could send them back to prison. My brother learned his lesson and got sober because of it, now he dont touch alcohol or drugs. My brother still get suicidal over the guilt, I've had to stop him from hurting himself several times. But this guy seems not to feel guilty at all and placing blame on other. People like this guy is why sex offenders cant get second chances. Id say he hasn't changed by his attitude. You should be able to see his charges by talking to your local department of safety or your sheriffs office. Don't judge people on their past, judge them on their present.
Rslash freaking out after story #1 was hilarious
Pretty sure that the kid diddler from story 1's gonna piss off the wrong people on where it's most likely spending all of it's time on, 4Chan and wind up..........missing
Story 4: Sad state of affairs, but honestly, it is more fair for both of you in the long run to just be open about it.
One is still a cheater!
I have been in rock bottom depression and I’ve never had thoughts of assaulting innocent children
"nolo contendere" I think simply means "no contest", which means that you don't outright admit guilt, but you're not contesting what the prosecution is accusing you of.
Story 1 : cut contact with her if she cant past her nose.." he blames what he did on depression " it is a terrible excuse..I've had my battles with depression many many times i never once touched a kid like that.. The sister thats with the kid toucher is POS thats just asking to not get supported..
Story 2 : just frucking tell her that her BS is not appreciated.. treat her like how a parent treats a child that throws a temper tantrum in a supermarket..
Update : while yes its good that the GF agreed what shes doing aint good and shes gonna get help dont fully buy in until it happens and you see actually change..
Story 3 : stop helping them .. its clear they dont appreciate it.." they keep bringing up their networth to me " yeah because they want you to " dance for our money dance monkey dance" dont let them control you and just cut contact with their poisonous arse.
Story 4 : yeah this marriage is deader than Elvis..
Story 5 : translation:" can i smash other dudes and you not be mad hun "??
Answer to story five, "Sure, just don't expect me to hang around when you do so." if married, "See you in divorce court." if not, "I'll pack my bags and move out. Have fun."
@@DesertRainReads or " I'll see a divorce lawyer in the morning "..
For story 2: the GF might very well be autistic, it's not that she's doing some BS for attention, but her mind might just work like that, she gets overwhelmed over small things (as many autistics do) and trust her partner enough to not mask around them, even if she gets help, autism don't really go away so she might very well continue to have those kind of reactions on the long run
@@CommanderDarcy maybe.. but I wouldn't buy into it until an actual professional doctor diagnosis her with that....
Story 4: it's tough because OP clearly has religious trauma who made her think she was forced to marry a man. It's probably also what made her think she should hide the cheating from him because of the deep shame religion instills in you. I hope he takes it well and everyone can stay civil and comprehensive.
Nah screw her she’s a cheater.
i think it would be fine, she say that her husband is asexual, and they never have sex or anything, its like a silent agreement for simply avoid the critics of their church.
that been say , i think they both will be better off if they just leave their church, maybe find another one or so
Story 1: I'm trying to figure out this timeline, when OP said that the sister was 25 and the boyfriend was 26. I was assuming both the felon and the relationship had happened way sooner than it sounds like it did?
Sister's been supporting him for 7 years, so he's had this conviction for at least 7 years since they have been dating for at least 7 years. So the conviction could have happened earlier as could the relationship.
And at the time of 7 years ago she would have been 18 and he would have been 19. Which is surprisingly not the huge age difference for a guy accused of that.
But also it makes me wonder when it happened and what it was?
Because like was he a minor too? Is the reason nobody can find records is because they're sealed because he was a minor?
Also, my mother told me and my siblings a lot of stories about why you shouldn't do stupid crap involving nudity. And a lot of them were ways you could end up being labeled legally as a sexual predator without actually praying on kids.
Like one of the most common story she told was a guy in his 20s, he basically stuck his ass out of a side window of a car on a bet and because the carve it pulled up at that moment with a school bus he was labeled as a child predator by the law.
So I can't help but wonder if it's one of those situations in which case he might not be feeling remorse because the entire situation is stupid and he's just angry at the world.
Like the alternative I guess is that he targeted really young kids so him being a minor as well didn't matter. I just don't understand a timeline of this and kinda want to figure out whats up, cuz it seems like either he did something absolutely awful or he made a mistake that's going to ruin the rest of his life.
2nd story: My mom is like this. Though not for all minor inconveniences, but just petty or insignificant things. It really puts the whole family in a poor mood. She’s impatient.