r/Bestof HELP! I'm Dating a PSYCHOPATH!
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:11 Worst case
3:56 Update 1
5:43 Update 2
7:05 Update 3
7:33 Update 4
11:52 Update 5
14:27 Update 6
15:53 Update 7
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
I just…imagine knowing that your UNDERAGE DAUGHTER is being abused by some creep…and your responce is to TELL THE CREEP’S MOTHER WHERE YOUR DAUGHTER IS…
That…vile, disgusting, POS woman that Op has to call her egg donor is just…wow…
Op i hope things get better and i hope you never have to interact with any of these vile people ever again.
We love narcissism! 🤢 if OP’s egg donor doesn’t get her way, then who cares if OP gets hurt because the world revolves around her!
Right after telling OP how she knew the creep was bad news.
What throws everything off is that the mom was coincidentally right about that part. She knew because she's the same way.
After she left he found her, made her get into his car, took her away, there raped he her, cut soles of her feet and left her there to die. She has a case now against him. She was only 17 when she made these posts. Pure fucking heartache reading this. It was around a year ago. If this is the same story I remember from BORU. 13:50 in this video, Rslash had to cut out the part that made t obvious but yeah, he raped her, cut the soles of her feet and left her there. Because she documented a lot of his abuse and was underage, there is a chance fucker is going to live in prison in a few years. This didn't happen in US/Europe. She found out she was most likely infertile, since rape she hadn't had a proper period. Some people are just below animals. She is slowly recovering and reclaiming normal life.
Sadly, I can easily imagine, been no contact for years with my mother and brother, she never cared when my brother violently attacked me, mocked me for needing hospitalisation after being knocked out and strangled, didn’t care when I was r@ped by one of her friends, neglected me and expected me to care for my brother like he was my own child… yeah, the abuse didn’t stop after I escaped, it just changed to harassment and threats, weaponising my disabilities and attempting to isolate me. What they failed to consider was me speaking out about their abuse and almost everyone in their lives 100% believed me because they’d seen how they acted.
Some “parents” don’t deserve kids at all, they only have children so they can fully control them and get angry when they no longer have control, and we are left messed up for the rest of our lives having to battle cPTSD.
@@anna8328Jesus Christ, I hope she’s able to find happiness in this world.
Ladies, take note. She left her abusive boyfriend, but she let her feelings for her abuser prevent her from pressing charges, and then he harmed her even more. Never feel bad for an abuser. Always press charges. You could be saving yourself or his next victim from more abuse. THEIR actions are what ruin their life, not your choice to hold them accountable.
Not even just Ladies.
Men can be abused too. And not everybody is given a chance to press charges.
The last time I called the cops on my abusive ex the cops refused to let me press charges. Actually both times I had asked to press charges they refused.
And I'm not a woman.
Adding: I'm 5'11 200lbs and my ex was 6'3 280lbs at the time i have a dislocated rib and can't get it fixed bc I've just now become not homeless
Unfortunately, she didn't have the necessary support system to guide and insist she take that step.
It's a lot easier said than done, b/c of all the manipulations and him making her feel safe and guilty and then gaslighting the hell outta her and then reminding her that the only place she can go back to is her Mother who literally said "I'm glad I never have to see you again!" And her Dad just straight up said, "That's your problem your not my kid."
So, it's hard for someone who went through that to go, "Oh, yeah, I need to press charges so I can cut him out and have absolutely nothing to go to. And somehow turn my life around all by myself with no one here to help."
@@LilDevyl17 I know. That's why I'm spelling it out for people. Sometime you have to do hard things or bad things will happen.
If you truly love someone, you don't affirm or support them blindly. To love someone is to hold them accountable when they start crossing lines. And the restraining order is NOT holding him accountable, it's not even the bare minimum given what he did(Pedophilia for one).
The fact that OP is a child just makes it all the worse. And OP was likely groomed into believing abuse is a form of love, given how the Mother is described as acting.
Please don't ignore restraining orders . I had a friend that lost theirs because the abuser showed the cops proof that they agreed to meet on a few occasions. Apparently some areas treat it like a broken and voided contract if the person that asked for the restraining order is the one that violates it because they view it as the person admitting that they didn't need it in the first place.
That's gross. Really gross and in that way, we fail victims.
Agreed but at the same time it is fcking stupid to meet with a person you have good reasons never meeting up with again.
Well, yeah. Restraining orders are saying you don't ever want to see that person again. They're essentially two-way communication bars requested by one side.
As soon as the person requesting the order starts to ignore it, it's treated as if they don't want it.
@@GoldenSunAlexYeah, unfortunately… like it or not, the logical assumption is that you want no contact. I guess I don’t understand agreeing to meet after that, but I assume it’s part of the head games these creeps play with their victims.
It always makes me cringe to hear these stories and the phrase “I really do love them” tossed in. Honey… you think you love them. You don’t really know them, just the image they’ve shown you. Don’t take pity and meet them for even one minute alone.
@aerieleah533 not really... the person with the restraining order is violating the intention of the order.
The fact that she’s a child makes everything so much worse omg. Imagine thinking someone is saving you from somebody but they’re literally the exact same as the person you wanted to be rescued from(even worse, arguably) and you can’t do anything about it because you’re a kid
This guy is insane. Isolating OP, trying to get kids from her, and resorted to domestic violence when denied. Heck, even after OP left and got a restraining order, he stalked her before outright committing the unspeakable and leaving her in the rural lands.
And the worst part? Only ONE random stranger had OP's back. OP's relatives and everyone else didn't help her, just that one lifeline. Why?
He's going to have a bad time in prison if the inmates find out he diddles kids.
The prey for predators which the ex was.
Op has ruined this douchebags life for not doing anything
Absolutely malignant narcissist vibes
@@fructosecornsyrup5759 listening to this story I felt bad for op but as it went on and she did Absolutely nothing. its when I was over it. a fucking restraining order and Oh its okay Hes been Nice. Nah man. Im not one for victim blaming but she had so many Opertunities to rectify it but she let him go.
Looks like the OP left one toxic relationship for another.
Unfortunately, that seems to be a pattern with a lot of people from toxic and abusive homes.
That's what I thought. Sometimes people from broken homes like that unintentionally seek out the same traits in their partners. Because it's what they know 😔
It’s because it’s the only type of relationship they know. Their brain has rationalized and develop coping/defense mechanisms to deal with it.
Honestly with her upbringing, having borderline personality disorder would cause this. I have Borderline from an extremely traumatic/toxic childhood. I went from the frying pan into a vat of oil time after time. It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I changed that. After a lot of therapy and everything I’m in a much better place
He targeted someone who was abused so she couldn't identify the abuse from him easily.
It’s a combination of us being literally wired from birth to associate insults and harm with love and because we usually have very low self-esteem and are vulnerable (especially when young).
This combination means that not only are we easy targets for abusers, but we also think these abusive tactics are normal or even loving because of the way we grew up.
(I got away from my abusive mother and right into an abusive relationship. He was 11 years older than me and I started “dating” him when I was 16. I got out of that relationship after a few years but didn’t realize just how abusive it was until years later. I didn’t realize how much I’d been manipulated and isolated until a long time later.
Thankfully now I’m happily married in a healthy and equal relationship.)
I honestly just want to tell OP that it’s not her fault. Her mom screwed up her sense of normal, so she had no idea what was normal in a relationship. I hope that one day she can get the help she needs.
Exactly, there's a lot of comments discussing what to do and what not to do in this situation but when you're in the thick of a toxic or abusive relationship, you can't see through the manipulation. It's not her fault that this happened to her. I really hope she's okay and that she forms healthy friendships and relationships to keep herself grounded. My heart dropped reading this post as someone who's been through a similar experience :(
The very moment he was "joking" about "taking what is his" I saw it coming. This is NEVER a joke. If somebody says something even remotely like this to or about you, RUN. My first boyfriend did some similar stuff, I just gladly got out earlier than OP did and the power imbalance wasn't quite as big (he was still older, stronger and more financially secure, but we were both still minors and living with our parents). But he still kept me in that relationship for a year longer than I should've stayed, coercing me into sexual actions despite me starting to silently cry during them and dissociating and breaking down afterwards and still claiming he loved me. I'm still in therapy and struggling with PTSD, 4 years after I broke up, two and a half years after moving away and completely cutting him off, and it only slowly getting better. My story isn't even close to how horrific everything that happened to OP was. So if anybody that went through something similar sees this: It is not your fault, you are not being stupid or dramatic for the mental scars it left on you, you don't have to "act normal" and instantly "get your life together", they were wrong to hurt you and you didn't deserve it. If you have the option, reach out to a trusted person, friend, relative, teacher, coworker, anybody. Get to a safe place, cut contact, make sure other people that care about you can support you, don't be afraid to "be a burden" or ask for favors. If you're physically hurt go to a hospital, don't be afraid to report them, but if you can't, that's valid too, don't expose yourself to more hurt if you're not ready to take it on. Save all evidence you can get, take screenshots of texts, take photos of injuries, if people witnessed the abuse, make them write it down while they still remember details. And try to be kind to yourself. You are loved, supported, and you deserve so much better. And if you don't feel like you can tell anybody irl right now, you can leave your story here if you want to get it out of your system and have other people to talk to. You are so brave, I love you, your life will turn out okay-ish, I promise. ❤
Yeah, I absolutely hate how often these threats are dismissed as "jokes". They aren't. No one in their right mind jokes about that sort of thing.
"The stupid choices I made" - OP is a literal child. She might make mistakes, but it's because nobody around her was helping her to make better choices. She has been failed, terribly.
Yeah, ultimately, it's the stupid choices her parents made that got her into this mess. It goes to show the importance of having loving parents and the harm abusive ones cause.
Part 1: “bpd” probably means Borderline Personality Disorder given the description provided afterwards, not Bipolar Disorder
Thanks. As a non native speaker I struggle with learning English abbreviations for (un)common diseases/disorders. I do not accidentally learn the wrong abbreviation-disease combination
You are correct. It does mean Borderline Personality Disorder. I looked it up.
Yeah I have BP. The fact dab is panting us wrong hurts
You are correct. It has always been BPA Borderline Personality Disorder. I have it, and have been in therapy for 20 years and it is 100 & Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know that Bi- polar has an abbreviation.
Yep. Bipolar disorder is BD.
If OP sees this video, I want her to know that she can still be a mom if she wants. She can adopt a child and give them all the love they deserve. It might even be a bit cathartic since many kids in the system go through a lot and it would help both her and the kid to have someone who understands.
That is always an option! In some parts of the world however, the definition of mom is limited to biological sadly. I am not sure of the type of damage done, but it would most likely impact her ability to carry a child to term, not her egg production. It may be possible for her to hire a surrogate in the future if she defines motherhood as biological. But I agree, many children need loving homes and I hope that people don’t dismiss that as a valid avenue to parenthood no matter your physical capabilities.
@@rebeccajesse4604 More people need to wake up and realize blood ties don't mean SHIT, perfectly exeemplified by the mother in this very story.
@@fallenprometheus totally agree. I simply try to understand that others may feel differently about it than I do. I have never wanted kids of my own but I am open to adoption, so I don't understand the urge for biological kids at all. However, some people have a very strong urge for biological kids and I am simply saying, that I hope no doors were shut for her and I hope she has many options to choose from in the future 🙂
Also I would like to add, there are thousands of "infertile" woman that end up having successful pregnancies. It's less likely, but being infertile is hardly a 0% chance of pregnancy. Many woman are infertile while under stress and dangerous situations and when they relax and give up hopes of having children, they get pregnant. So if she doesn't pressure herself, but keeps trying when the time is right, she might have a miracle.
@@KarmaCifer Yeah, a lot of people seem to confuse infertility with sterility.
OP’s mom really primed her for abuse, and it really shows how much having one kind person to reach out can make a difference in your life. Thanks for sharing these stories are/, it’s important to keep educating ourselves about what what harm looks like in the start
it sounds like the girl essentially got into a relationship with what is essentially the male equivalent to her mother. to be honest, i am impressed that she not only had the resolve but being able to recognize she was being abused since it's obvious that the way the ex was treating her was basically how she's been treated all her life by her mother and is probably all she knows about human contact. hopefully she can eventually finally experience what it should feel like to be treated properly and with kindness
This story should be used in schools as an example for what abusive relationships are and what they can end up leading to. This story could end up saving lives and leading to better futures.
I hope she gets help for the PTSD. I hope one day she understands none of it was her fault. It's been 5 years and sometimes I still blame myself. I was agoraphobic for 3 years, seeing him everywhere I went. So I just stayed inside. It gets better with a good support system, people who are there for you. She'll have to grieve her own innocence forever. People think grief gets smaller with time, but in reality, your world simply grows around it to make space for the more important things.
Take care everyone 💗
Good way to describe it.
I wish you and her healing and peace.
You have a wonderful gift in wording things. You explained that beautifully, some people feel guilty or like they are failing if the grief doesn’t go away, and that they need to wait to move on until it does. But you’re right, you need to let yourself expand your world so that the grief takes up less of it. It won’t go away but it doesn’t have to stay your whole world.
I am struggling with my own Agoraphobia, for similar but different reasons (scared that going outside especially alone = someone will hurt me) and it is hellish. I hope all who deal with PTSD and the like get the help and support they need, bc it's hard out here.
I'm ten years out, and it's still difficult at times.
This poor girl, lives in a country that sees women as less than, has an abusive family, and didn't know whats healthy
it's more like the town she lives in has small town disorder
This sadly is the case in literally every part of the world
@@GiordanDiodato oh that's so much worse
the sad thing is that when you're so used to abuse, you fail to recognize the red flags around you, even the tiniest display of affection is enough to blind us to more concerning matters, and it gets harder cuz some people will go "well it's your fault, you should have known better" but that's not something many of us can do from the get go.
It’s a cycle for a reason. Parents and our childhood teaches us what’s “normal”, if you get a shitty definition of course it’s going to be hard to recognize! “Normal” is completely subjective and can be different for everyone. That’s one wonderful thing about the internet, we can all share what we think is “normal” and get feedback from others. It’s a way for us to help redefine and learn. This story broke my heart but I am glad it’s been shared so that others can learn and she can continue to hear feedback and support to continue redefining her “normal”
I know that they say violence is never the answer to deal with the monsters in your life, but sometimes...
Don't start removing possible answers until you know what the question is. When the question is "how do I survive this?" Answering "please don't unalive me" won't help. Because "please" and "don't" are not in a monsters vocabulary.
My ex started abusing me when he got drunk. Which was a lot.
In the kitchen one day, he's drunk, and just as he's about to slap me there was a knock at the door. I took that chance and knocked him out with a small, but heavy skillet. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. He was out cold.
I just let him lay there. He had a large lump, and a lil cut.
He laid there for the rest of the night. I think knocking him out was less important than he was drunk and passed out.
When he woke up, I told him of he ever raised his hand to me again, I would unalive him.
He started to once, I guess he realized that he if he continued it wouldn't go well for him.
He never raised his hand to me again.
I left him not long after that.
He died a few yrs ago.
To much alcohol and drugs.
Thank you for posting this, stories like this serve as a warning. As a little girl who grew up with Law and Order SVU, I think cautionary tales and learning from the mistakes of others is vital to undoing the cycle of trauma the worst of humanity inflicts
OP, you're a minor, a child.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. I knoa that's easier said than done but that's something time will grant you; the ability to look back and understand that you were a child that deserved protection but had to make the best of something horrible time and time again. You are so much stronger and resilient than you think you are ❤
I really hope things get better for OP, and that her ex and egg donor (and 5perm donor) get their karma. That was horrific.
Hey RSlash. I know these tough stories probably have an effect on your mental health after a while. Feel free to do videos on random funny subreddits too. You have a lot of subscribers that will watch regardless. Take care!
I absolutely agree, and wholesome stories as well could also really benefit him and also us.
I know some of his earliest videos were from funny subreddits and I watched them all the same. But I see videos like these as a way to use his platform to show the dangers and maybe help someone who watches it
@@nicktinson2950 I absolutely agree with that. But I also think it would do rSlash some good to read more wholesome and funny stories as well. He reads so many negative stories on a daily basis he said it has affected his mental health in the past, so I think it would be good for him to also incorporate some more wholesome and funny stories in his repertoire as well. But I absolutely agree with you that sharing stories like these can help so many people.
He used to do Tales of Kevin and various Karen stories, I really enjoyed those so those may be options! There's also entitled parents, which are sometimes more like the Karen stories and I enjoy them too.
I feel like I need to explain a bit of this, but it begins with 'I'm not a medic/medical expert'.
'cutting the soles of her feet'
I imagine this is literal. this isn't cutting the shoes. this is taking their shoes and cutting her feet. this is a massive deal. we wear shoes for a reason and footwear has been a thing for at least 40 thousand years. walking around barefoot, you're not used to the harsh terrain, the long distances, just going all that way without footwear, and it will wear you out. also, having to walk on those cuts WILL let in bacteria, so even if you get anywhere safely, chances are you'll pick up an infection and lose your feet. and that's just a start
this man was not only trying to kill OP by making her suffer long term. this man was making sure when he was done, even if he failed, OP would suffer more from having to deal with something major, maybe life threatening.
Bpd is actually short for borderline personality disorder! Many people get them mixed up.
I just listened to the story and thought, “that’s BPD, not bipolar.” PW untreated BPD shouldn’t have kids.
As someone who went through a traumatic past, the way to get past it is to accept it sadly. It is really hard, but I can say it’s a part of me and it makes me stronger
The fact that he says he wants to have kids young should be a huge red flag.
I disagree that a guy wanting kids young is itself a red flag. What was a red flag was his condom poking and trying to convince her to have sex without a condom, he'd "just pull out." Apart from the controlling the money and never giving her cash for anything, that the big parade she missed.
@meganfenton4189 I'm trying to sabotage the protection is also a red flag
It shouldn't be a red flag, but a yellow flag. It's usually a sign that the man doesn't know what actually goes into childcare and what he'd be signing up for if he fathered kids. It can BECOME a red flag if he doesn't listen to good sense if his partner doesn't want kids yet or at all.
@etcetera1995 this isn't the World Cup we're not dropping yellow flags just cuz we think it's marginally concerning it's extremely concerning
@madambutterfly1997 yes, I said so in my comment. The condom poking I referred to was the sabotage of the protection.
Having A LOT of experience with narcissists, I'm convinced the ex-boyfriend's mom is the reason why he's a narcissist. Regular narcissism is acquired, not innate.
He cut out her fucking womb, it hardly makes a difference if he got it through nurture or nature.
Probably , and he more than likely targeted op due to her mother being a narcissist too. So he felt she’d be an easier target
@@izraelburgess937her mother has bpd not npd though?
Of course narcissism is acquired, it’s a personality disorder usually developed through a mix of trauma and genetics
BPD is borderline personality disorder, not bipolar. They are different 🥲 it does get confusing with the abbreviations
This reminds me of the slug story. I listened to it on my way home from counseling, and my mouth was wide open the entire time. That is a wild and very sad story.
I think of the slug story a lot. It’s so sad and terrifying
Seriously. I thought the same thing!
What video?
@@emelya.9039which video was that one again?
I was thinking the same thing too!
This is such a window into the hidden damage that abuse and SA causes. I hope she finds peace, and a good future.
Oh my god?? I’ve never been affected by a story like this before, that poor girl. I feel so bad for her, she deserves so much better and I hope she gets a good support system along with healing from the trauma if that’s even possible.
I hope OP knows how strong she is. To go through such trauma her whole life, and then this, all while still being a minor, and then being able to go ahead with charges and rebuild her social circle is incredible. But I hope she also knows it’s ok to not be ok, and it’s part of the healing process to feel all of the emotions. I really hope her life only gets better and better moving forward.
wow I did not realize she was a minor until it was mentioned later in the ep, I hope she can find some supportive people in her life
I just feel horrible for OP that she doesn't have many people in her life and the few that does are just emotionally abusive, controlling and so much more... 😰 I just hope that her live is going for the better.
I got immediately concerned the moment the OP mentioned that she's a minor. I really hope things get better for her in the future.
I really wish there was a trigger warning at the start of the video. This is horrible, and I hope this man really experiences what he put her through while in jail. It's amazing how strong she is. She really is amazing.
The entire story I kept going “YIKES YIKES YIKES” it’s mind blowing how bad it got, and how OP was seen as the crazy one in the entire story by everyone around her
The fact the cops took her back to her first abuser makes me sick.
I hope op continues to heal. She's been through to much for to long and deserves so much better.
Unfortunately an all too common situation. From one abusive relationship to another. Abusers smell out trouble pasts like sharks to blood. Hopefully OP can get the help she needs
I feel sorry for OP, from one abuser to the other.
Having a career before kids is just common sense.
As someone that's infertile due to abuse I just got to say this story broke my heart. I've been there, I know the pain of feeling like you've been robbed of something you desperately wanted. You're left feeling broken, ashamed, angry, and mourning the potential life/children you could've had. It's the worst feeling imaginable. I hope OP finds happiness in her life and can heal with time. It never goes back to feeling the same as you were before, but you can find peace
Well, there's not all hope lost. She didn't say sterile, which would mean it's completely impossible. Infertility just means it's harder/might have to be done through non-natural means like IVF/IUI, or a surrogate! She may still be able to have a family like she wants.
Story : Op boyfriend is a predator.. he prayd on op vulnerability and now hes emotionally abusing her..
Update 1 : yup ..i knew it.. dude is an emotionally abusive Dbag..
Story 2 : " if you dont let me get what i want ill just have to take it" Yooooo WTH.. That aint even a quarter of the way funny..
Update 4 : yeah dude is such an emotionally abusive narcissistic dbag that even if sharing those pics would mess him up bad i dont think he cares and he probably subscribes to the eye for an eye method and hes mad that his punchingbag escaped him... op mom is a complete piece of trash who once she passes op should go to her gravesite and take a #2 on it..
Update 5 : yeah dude turns to stalking when emotionally abuse didnt work anymore.. " part of me still loves him" op are you high ?? "Cut the soles of my feet" Dude lost his flipping mind that his punchingbag escaped him that bad..
Op mistake was telling that piece of garbage "mom" where she was .. what was she expecting??
You're talking about a horribly traumatized person as if they'd be able to figure it out as if it's obvious.
Its just one story with 7 updates...
@@_Fizel_ my mistake..
I'm actively trying not to cry. This made me incredibly angry and sad. I've never suffered anything of the sort, but just knowing that people can be so deeply ruined like this is heartbreaking. I genuinely hope things get better for her.
I keep having to remind myself that she's still a child
1st story: Damn, she left her controlling mother just to end up with a controlling boyfriend. This story is so sad. What was the age difference between OP and her ex because you'd think that in itself would be enough to get him arrested if she's a minor.
This story is heart breaking. Now to watch something happy and uplifting to start off the week in a better mood… oh look, rslash stories about Kevin! :D
How my face changed when I hovered over the timeline and saw that those segments aren't other stories but ALL UPDATES...
*Pantywaist of a mother:* "You're always hurting yourself by being with that hurtful man. I'm going to teach you a lesson, now that you've left him, by telling him where you are!"
*OP:* Is too horrified to look at the camera like she's on the office.
The amount of people blaming her for wanting to “fix” him or not get him in trouble are pathetic.
She’s been abused her entire life and had to care for someone who tormented her. Of course she’s going to try and protect him despite the abuse.
Always go to your local library if you need access to the internet. They probably will also be able to get you help with necessities and education. My cousin works as a librarian at a major library in a major city. She helps with finding jobs, etc.
I was cringing throughout this entire story: op's mom's behavior, how controlling and possesive the boyfriend is (with her thinking it's normal probably due to how she was raised/out of a desire to feel loved by somebody), how she kept giving him more chances, etc.
The girl clearly just wants to feel loved, and probably has a very distorted view of it due to her POS mother. Since she was isolated from the world, didn't make money on her own, and didn't have anyone else to rely on, she was probably idolizing him as the one person who truly cared about her.
She constantly made dumb decisions imo (not enforcing the restraining order, still allowing him to talk to her in person while knowing how dangerous he can be and that he literally was trying to manipulate and blackmail her into coming back, that he was probably going to try to "force himself" on her, etc.), but it makes sense why in a depressing way.
Heart goes out to op, I hope it gets much better for her.
This shows how very hard it is to get away from an abusive partner. And it's a cautionary tale that you can't do it halfway. You have to cut ties completely, as soon as possible. Also cut off the idea that "I don't want to go too hard on them." You have to.
Geeze this story! I wish more people knew not to give them an inch, talk to them, etc. There should be more tools and support out there for those that are ready to leave a toxic relationship. It's sad that it took what happened in that car for charges to be filed. I hope that they use the aftermath trauma of what he did as well as a sentencing point at court!
This poor, poor kid. She was just a child. She didn't know or understand any better. Everyone in her life is a POS except for that one person who helped her. I pray she finds help and healing one day. I know personally that PTSD is not an easy condition to deal with, but when you find therapy and real friends who you bond to closer than family, the pain gets easier to bear.
Wow, that story is gunna sit on my spirit for a minute.
I want to hope since they didn’t say they found a concrete reason of her being infertile that she can hopefully still have a baby :( stress and trauma and many things can do a lot to the body.💔
I'm literally crying my eyes out. I so wish I could help OP and give her a huge hug. I wish I could stop people from going through this type of thing. I hope OP has the best possible life from now on out.
13:45 this story makes my heart break, my prayers and condolences to the Redditer.
I've watch every r slash video, but I don't think I can leave this video without a comment.
wow, this was a gut wrenching story, I hope OP continues to heal both physically and emotionally
My heart goes out to this poor girl. What a monster he is.
This story feels like a car wreck, and with every new update, another car enters the pileup, and then another car, and another car until there are so many cars that it’s just spilling into buildings, alleyways, people are getting hurt. This story is a mess
Ouch! I’m so sorry, OP. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Going from your toxic mother ( and family ) to a toxic ex who all treat you less like a person… Whenever you do finally get away from all that toxic community, cut all contact with your mother, that psychopath, and all who defend their actions! That is not normal!
Glad you are doing okay, OP. Stay strong!
That story… it made my stomach turn. I can’t image experiencing all that. It’s not her fault and I hope she’ll be okay because she really does deserve the best.
And this guy… hope he rots in prison. I never thought I’d be so mad at some random dude whom I don’t even know.
There's a special place in the nine circles for a mother like OP's mom. Oh her mom just makes my blood boil.
Abusive relationships are already extremely difficult to get out of but even more so if you've had a previous abusive relationship or an abusive childhood. It gives you a fucked up idea of what love should be
I hope OP gets better
If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, please know that there is ALWAYS someone who will help you out of it. A neighbor, maybe just a random passerby. Seek help because you deserve to be respected.
Christ it just gets worse with every update, thank God that creep is getting thrown in prison. Fingers crossed the other prisoners find out what he did and enact a little justice themselves
I wish I could talk to op. What happened wasn't and isn't her fault. You become, so beaten down in abusive relationships. I know how she feels. I had to pull myself out as well. Now I get to spend every single day seeing scars on my body. It changes you forever.
I think rslash would really benefit from having trigger warnings for heavier episodes. This was a ride I don't think I was fully ok to go on today and not knowing if there's gonna be heavy topics is a not so fun roll of the dice
This story was like watching a horror movie, everyone is just screaming at the screen “don’t do that, you’re going to end up dead,” and OP can’t hear it.
Really wish people would stop with the term “narcissistic abuse”. It’s just abuse. There’s no need to stigmatize NPD, especially since no one ever does it with other disorders.
No one ever says “Bipolar abuse” or “BPD abuse”. It’s just abuse. Understanding why someone is abusive is one thing, but completely blaming a disorder is another.
You abuser didn’t abuse you because they were a narcissist. They abused you because they were a bad person.
Actually people DO do it with Borderline and Bipolar, I’d know. I hear/read it enough.
But I agree that we shouldn’t be vilifying mental health disorders.
Same with people saying that they don't like that he used the term psychopath because it's unfair to associate BPD (or BP because that's what he accidentally said) with psychopaths. But APD doesn't deserve to be stigmatized either. There's a lot of evidence that there are plenty of people with APD who are able to live lives without harming people and people who get help and learn to live healthy lives and make amends for anyone they've harmed. Certain psychiatric conditions are traumatizing and have an innate ability to cause harm to families and loved ones even if it's not on purpose. However, that is not the same as abuse. Abuse is a choice. There is no one condition that makes someone abusive. They just happen to be two things. An abuser and a person with a psychiatric condition.
@@Frostfern94 damn, I never hear anyone saying that but I shouldn’t be surprised
Very true, I find that people even with good intentions tend to do this. People tend to forget that those with NPD, ASPD, and others with similar conditions can be victims and survivors too.
Im glad to see op is healing in all aspects. I hope her journey continues well. I hope she can heal past it all and forgive herself for her decisions. Yes, they were profoundly stupid decisions, but she had no framework to know those eye all such bad choices. They're all methods to keep monsters out of your life. She grew up with those monsters. They'll never teach the methods to stay safe, so she unfortunately had to learn the hard way. Congratulations on surviving.
To OP (I know they will never see it though): NEVER LET A DOCTOR TELL YOU YOU CANNOT HAVE CHILDREN. If they do, FIND A NEW ONE. If you have all the parts, you only have a LOW chance, NEVER ZERO.
This is advice from OBGYNs.
I firmly believe that young people need to educated as part of the school curriculum with what signs to look out for of abusive coercive control in relationships. They need to be made aware, before kids ever start dating, the kinds of manipulation tactics that can be employed: restricting your access to friends and family, controlling what you wear, where you can go, what you are allowed to do, your access to your phone, baby trapping, etc. If they notice these signs, they need to have a clear plan of action to extricate themselves safely, and given the tools they’ll need to access help from the authorities and support services.
And also, most importantly, their self esteem needs to be bolstered so that if they recognise the beginnings of abusive behaviour in a partner, they’ll have the ability to know that they are worth more than that, that there are better people out there who they deserve, and to have the strength and courage to get the hell out, hopefully before things escalate.
'Love Is Blind' is in many forms... And this is the worst form there is.
Please, seek help.
Even if you have no family, no friends, or anyone close. Do not stay. Do not put yourself in that situation.
Call services, and police.
NEVER take abusers back, let alone contact them again. This story is truly a warning...
Story 1 first op had an abusive mom a neglectful dad and an abusive partner. She needs help asap.
Nothing makes my brain short circuit like a man downplaying pregnancy. Easy for them to say "its not a curse," when its not their body and life on the line and never will be for pregnancy.
It may be cold comfort, but weakness can become strength. OP, you’ve learned hard lessons no one should have to learn, especially so young. No one should be subjected to what you were. But your future is hopeful. Your past won’t define you but it will always be part of you, but like a broken bone, wounds to the mind and soul can grow back thicker. You already sound so strong!
You’ll have that memory and that place that still stings, you’ll have bad days, but they’ll always pass, and get less painful over time as you grow to understand that it was never your fault. You will be a strength to others suffering the same or similar things. You’ll understand and believe them where so many people don’t or can’t. You’ll see the signs and be in a position to offer the help you didn’t have, or the help you did.
And though you may have been robbed of the chance to have your own kids, you’ll be able to provide a home to kids who need someone like you. A strong, empathetic mother who understands how much words can hurt. I only wish you hadn’t had to suffer horrible physical wounds as well. I know enough to recognize… words can be cruel enough.
And for those still struggling… I understand reading this will make you angry. You want the pain gone, not just lessened. You want the memories gone, not just faded. Because some days it’s like no time has passed at all. You’re stronger than you think… but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to cry, mourn and be mad as hell. Honestly, I think that’s what makes you strong… sometimes you have to be not okay for a while in order to go back to growing.
And look for help if you can. Therapy, friends, online support groups. People who get it.
god, i have never wanted to help a person so badly in my entire life. i want hope she’s doing okay.
For the second story, every single person in OPs life may have failed her, but not as much as OP failed herself.
She willingly gave up her safety for “closure”. Sad story, but she did it to herself.
Anyone reading this with PTSD, please know you are more than your trauma. I know it feels so big it overwhelms every part of you, and you forget who you once were, but you are still in there.
The trauma never fully goes away, but it gets smaller and smaller and less overwhelming every day, like grief. I spent years desperate to be who I was before the trauma, until I realised I was never going back, and going forward was the only option , as a new person, with knowledge and experience gained post trauma.
It's been nearly 20 years since my trauma. PTSD still bites back occasionally, but the days of my trauma being all I felt I was, are behind me.
It takes time to heal, but we all heal eventually 💕
I'm glad OP is alive. A friend from back when I was 18-20 and her 3 kids were unalived 9 hours before she was due to leave her husband for good with her kids.
I got out of an abusive marriage with my 3 kids, mostly unscathed.
The first story hit me hard. I'm a 21 almost 22 year old woman who is a divorced single mom of a two year old. Some of the things the girl talked about with her boyfriend were things I've dealt with from my ex husband. And the money and the baby trapping was the biggest. Not only was he abusive but he also cheated on me. Hearing her story made my heart hurt. I think the biggest trigger was the threats of suicide after. It made it super hard to leave
BPD is Borderline Personality Disorder, not bipolar. They have some pretty distinct differences.
this story reminds me of what i got out of this year, i was lucky to get out before it was too late, considering my pain, i don't even want to imagine how much pain OP was in during all of that... i'm so sorry for OP..
That crazy boyfriend is right about 1 thing, that Social media is bad for your mental health.
Hey rSlash, I love your Contin. I popped over here from the Spotify podcast to let you know that there seems to be a formatting error, or some audio glitch. It’s happened for three episodes now I wasn’t sure if you’re aware. Thank you for doing everything you do!
Content*
This story was so incredibly frustrating. With each red flag that flashing blazing red like a strobe light, it just got more and more infuriating. Hindsight is 20/20 but the red flags this guy was twirling around like a flag-girl was too many to count.
This was a frustrating listen. This is why you never ignore red flags. If you identify them, you leave and never give and inch. She got a restraining order but didn't follow through and that was the end of it. Creeps like that will take everything if you even show a bit of weakness.
To the woman being abused: that POS will always be a controlling abuser. Leave now and do not have any contact. Do not wait until his aggression becomes deadly. This man is extremely dangerous and he will not change, not ever.
Love you narration and the storys you find for use, thank you for your R/Slash channel!!!!
This man’s Mom is part of the reason abusive men like this get away with as much as they do. How much do you want to bet she KNEW how her son is, and STILL wanted OP to go back? Enablers allowing this behavior and bystanders standing by while it escalates are disgusting!
It’s easy to judge people who give in and break restraining orders for “closure” or just to talk. From my own experience, I know it’s ALWAYS a mistake. But it’s hard to see that when you’re in the middle of it. Leaving an abusive relationship can often feel worse than being in it, you don’t have the comfort of denial and the situation is so much more dangerous. OP, I hope you can forgive yourself the mistake. You’re not stupid. You’re a survivor.
This is 100% my morning coffee lol
It's a shame about op, but please people do not be like OP. If you ever have cause to get a restraining order, MAKE SURE IT IS ENFORCED. SCREAM IF YOU SEE ABUSER. DO NOT LET SENTIMENT CLOUD YOUR JUDGEMENT.
1st: Bro if my partner didn't listen to me the first time and kept pressuring me into having unprotected sex until I screamed at them? I'm calling the cops for attempt SA. He only stopped when she screamed THAT'S HORRENDOUS. That's so terrifying I can't even imagine. This also sounds like a case of trauma affecting your types in relationships. Trauma victims being attracted to the people that would cause them even more trauma.
I have heard and read so many stories like this, that I guess this needs to be said, because people aren't getting it.
If you take out a restraining order against somebody, then they are not supposed to contact you, which is pretty straightforward. However--and this seems to be the part many people gloss over--YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CONTACT THEM, EITHER!!!!!
If you're going to take up the time and effort of the courts to get a restraining order, then you need follow through; otherwise, you've done nothing but waste other people's time.
It is stories like these that make me wish for some leeway towards vigilante justice. Everyone that OP trusted failed her, from the POS mother to the psycho ex, and even the system which should be protecting OP, sent her from one toxic individual back to another (although I have to guess that if the system knew how toxic OP's mom was, they would have not taken that option). That is the problem sometimes. People who will never listen and still continue to hurt others (through truly heinous means too), how do you stop them, if there is even an option for that to begin with?
This is honestly all the moms fault. Kids are gonna make dumb mistakes, but if the mom had created a safe open environment for her daughter, then she never wpuldve been pushed into the situation with the bf. and when the toxic stuff started showing up, she would've been able to go to her mom. So many parents dont realize that by being like this, they are not just pushing their kids away, but right into the arma of predators