r/AITA I Made My Dad an "I Hate You" Powerpoint
Vložit
- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:07 Powerpoint why I don't want a relationship with my dad
4:19 I ate my husbands entire birthday cake
6:38 I got my husbands bill reduced from 5k to 26 dollars
10:39 Sensitive mom bans daughters friend over one comment
14:49 Fake pregnancy test to catch MIL snooping
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Update from story one:
OP showed the PowerPoint to her paternal grandparents. They had only known things were bad, but did not know the extent of the damage her father had done to her, or the truth behind some “accidents”. They admit that they should have been more involved in helping OP, and although they want OP to reconcile with her father, they also understand that it is too late for that. OP basically then says that she won’t ever forgive her father, and never reconcile with him without getting “an assault charge”. OP has also made it clear that she doesn’t want her father to know anything about her and her well being moving forward, and her grandparents have honored her request.
wait assault charge?
@@aguycalledjamal this probably means, OP would kick her father's ass.
And get the assault charge.
@@vedantagrawal9530 oh okay, I thought the father was physically abusing OP and she wanted to press charges
why the assault charge?
@@adilsyspams Basically OP would attack her own father with physical violence.
Important thing in first story: OP made presentation using her memories as a proof. She's mentioned "dark" days, so I imagine some depression, maybe even suicidal behaviour. Moments when she needed help and love. And he didn't notice. Basically OP didn't tell her father why he failed her: she gave him evidences that he did.
Come on its a reddit story. there are two sides two every coin. and i bet he was there for her and she might have some mental health issues. cuz coming from a new parent that has a depressed teen they do not say anything about there depression they just lock themselves up in there room and you try to talk to them and all you hear is LEAVE ME ALONE DAD and as a parent you do not want to be forceful with your kids. the parent that was bad was the step mom she is awful. the dad was there for his kids like come on why does no one talk bout the son in this. the kid has cancer and you have her crying about attention dude his little son is dying in the SAME way his wife your mom did long ago. like her mom died at 7 so the mom and dad were very young when the mom died. like look at the father his love of his life that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with is gone way to early. that is devastating. im sorry op went through so much but come on she prob had opportunities to talk to him. and instead she wanted to say nothing and leave at 18.
Yeah, and the bit when OP wrote the "You failed" part under the page that OP's mother and father will always be there for her further proves this.
He didn’t abandon her. Her needs were obviously taken care of. Her brother was dying of cancer. Of course the parents are going to focus more on him. She’s a spoiled brat who needs to get over herself
@@echo7227 I wouldn't go that far as he definitely could have made a better effort where his daughter is concerned, he may have been a neglectful father toward her but she was a total ass to him.
@@DanielRodriguez-gs2xj I’d say that fare. He probably wasn’t perfect. But I heard nothing that justified her behavior
The billing story feels like they severely lowered the price because they realised they could get in serious legal problems if it was addressed to court
Naw, this is classic American healthcare. Everything is over priced so they can get money from insurance, but if you harrass them over every little charge you can get them to bill you for what things actually cost.
Nah, they’ll just drop it if you’re annoying. And the common tactic is to “not have a clear dept” in which you can contact to dispute bills. If you’re pushed around a phone tree, then do what you need to do
- former hospital administration
Agreed, but hubby is bieng an asshat. MY husband would've grabbed me, kissed me, bought me a nice gift, then carry me into the bedroom (or the rearest comfy flat surface, lol) and.....😉
It's both excessive, and normal. unexpected yet expected, cuz american healthcare. also i think she needs a career change. she could make a nice living just doing that as her job.
@@montamagic541 this is a system so broken that the only reason it still somewhat functions is because it's literally the richest country in the world.
It's high time it either gets a major overhaul or just thrown out entirely.
The PowerPoint wasn't cruel it was a reality check to the father.
My wife had 2 miscarriages and I still feel the sadness with her. The last one was a year ago. I would cut anyone off if they blame her.
Technically it is fair to blame her, IF she did something stupid while pregnant. Drinking till pass out drunk every night reckless driving and several accidents she caused, boxing....etc...other than that, burn the bridge back up your spouse.
I’m so sorry for that. You both are angels
Yeah, i would do the same i don't know why that guy wants contact with his family they are disgusting people. Sorry about that i hope things get better for you two.
This right here is how an ideal spouse behaves!
I am so sorry for your loss, and I am wishing you all the best moving forward. 💕
You're a good husband, now go and hug her and tell her u love her...💜🖤👏
The medical bill story, shows how messed up the healthcare system is.
Just to be clear, I'm from the UK and would like to thank the NHS here.
Considering one time I had an epi-pen prescribed to me and went to pharmacy for it they wanted over 500 almost 600 for it I asked to double check because my insurance was supposed to cover it entirely. Thankfully did double check and dropped to 0
Tell me that OP is from the US without saying OP is from the US.
Source: I’m from the US
I once ended up having a bill for the er 2000 for services, 2000 for the doctor that I saw collectively for 15 minutes.
Yeah Buddy, I’m currently suffering from something full body effecting all my muscles with no insurance & I’m getting the run around doctor to doctor which I can’t even afford in the first place therefore I’m literally just suffering because I can’t afford the debt & can’t afford to pay out of pocket, but the medical system is okay knowing I’m suffering, real cool america, real cool. 😒
I once got a call from the hospital telling me I have to pay a 5K bill before I have surgery, which was literally a few hours away.
The last one: How is OP lying? The fake pregnancy test was in the trashcan. OP never told anyone she was pregnant. So how can everyone say she was lying? THE MOM GOT PLAYED.
And her husband wouldn't even have looked there, clearly. So not only was that claim made FOR her, she presumably would have delivered that information differently if she were (like test on the counter IN PLAIN SIGHT, or one of the cute reveals).
Also, what is the mother in law doing snooping through the trash?? That should be the biggest concern. It’s so creepy
Literally plus what if it were a false positive??? That woman is psychotic and I want to know why TF she was snooping in the *trash can* , ew
With the trash can part, sounds like this crazy MIL is so obsessed with making OP into the perfect wife for her husband, she'll do whatever it takes to make OP that way, even if it means digging in the trash to do so. Yeah, I think OP might like to check out r/JustNoMIL because she would fit right in.
Story 3: not only did she get the bill down BELOW what it was originally meant to be with x7, but she did it in the calmest, most methodical way. That story was GLORIOUS, and honestly, she cpuld make BANK off of helping others this way, as well.
The boyfriend has clearly never had to deal with the stupendous amount of being run around the system regarding medical bills. He does not deserve someone who would fight this hard for him if he can't see the fact that it saved them almost 5k...
Yeah but acted like a karen
@@BoomyShakesSEVEN TIMES THE NATIONAL AVERAGE. That's stupendously egregious. Got the run around, being passed to person to person, to department after department. What she did wasn't being a Karen. What she did had justification.
They had insurance and STILL were getting billed $5000.
Clearly you do not know what a Karen is.
Have you guys seen the Louis Rossman vs Corrupt New York City government saga? They fined him almost $15k for not having a NY insurance plan for an employee who was not living in NY, and if anything happened to him, that insurance plan would not pay out. They'll screw you, and when you try to get it resolved, you're sent on a carousel ride of phone center employees who transfer you or can't help you, until you give up.
@@BoomyShakesno. Karens are entitled. In this scenario, the HOSPITAL is a Karen for expecting a bill payment to the tune of 7x above fair market price.
@Lone77Wolf sorry about this. I was going through a rough time with hospitals cause my mom needed surgery and after calling them out I was a karen apparently
Both the Power Point and Cake stories are funny. I mean the miscarriage is sad and the way the inlaws and husband treated her was enraging, but her eating the cake was absolutely hilarious.
And it’s funny with the cake story how his family goes all out for parties but didn’t even bother to have enough cake. Provide more cake or have a smaller party. Well it serves him right. Hope the cake was delicious!
op could've posted this onto r/prorevenge or pettyrevenge because she gave her husband and his family exactly what they deserved
I mean can you imagine being married and having a kid. Then your wife dying of cancer. You pick yourself up get married again and have another kid. WHO GETS CANCER. Then you have to change your life to care for the dying child and take them to appointments and chemo and try to have good memories. And your oldest kid is upset at you for paying so much attention to your dying child. When really you are doing the minimum for someone who won't get to grow old. And then your older perfectly healthy kid decides they don't want to talk to you anymore, because they hate that you spend your energy saving your dying child. And when you try to get back in contact with them they send you pictures of what is essentially their teen hormonal angsty emotional diary. And uses your laye wife's dying words to tell you that you are a failure. ...
I honestly didn't find it funny and u think op is a self centered brat.
@@Ayaforshort he neglected OP. It’s fine to spend energy on your sick child, but OP was completely pushed aside. Their father didn’t bother with OP until _after_ his second child died, he just completely ignored OP, neglected OP, allowed his relationship to deteriorate. He’s the father, it’s literally his job to look after OP and he couldn’t even manage the bare minimum. And you somehow think OP is the brat for recognising their father didn’t care enough about them to be a father?
@@Ayaforshort OP being healthy doesn't negate their need for parental love/guidance, which OP's dad didn't give OP because he was busy with his other kid, OP's stepmom didn't offer because she also was focused on her kid, and OP's mom couldn't offer because she was fucking dead. OP's mom actually gave OP more comfort from beyond the grave than what OP's dad did alive.
He is a shitty father, not for focusing on his dying kid, but for neglecting his other one in the process, and he should be called out for it.
There's a saying from Swoozie that I think kids who have been pushed aside need to use when their parents SUDDENLY remember their existence: "I ain't nobody's Plan B. Either you choose me or you lose me."
It's been so long since I heard/read that name but I recognized it somehow and had to look up who he is. I used to love Swoozie's videos so much. Can't believe I forgot all about him.
@@jackmanleblanc2518 to be fair, the context was some girl left him for another man, got dumped, and begged for him back, but I think it applies here, too
Holy shit! You are now my people. The nostalgia!
Amen.
I think I’m gonna marathon his videos now, it’s been a while
Last story: OP has a HUSBAND problem. He can't seem to grow a backbone, and he's just being a momma's boy. His entire family is being toxic. Either OP and her husband get couple's counseling, or they need a divorce. This problem will just get worse if not resolved.
100% agreed. Counseling, move or kick the MIL out, and go NC for a while, until that whole family realizes they fucked up.
Dude chillax… it’s just a silly goofy story
NC the mom. No respect for personal space or privacy, top-level cringe creepiness, and then telling everyone you're pregnant and taking that away from you (if you had been) and not considering there might be reasons you don't want to (worried about miscarriage, or planning an abortion). And then not being mortified and apologetic when caught and instead blaming you? That's beyond just normal rudeness, that's sociopathic. And your husband siding with her? You married a toddler, sorry. Better to find out before you actually have the guy's kid. Yeesh.
Story 4 - It kinda depends on the tone you read the story in. It could be a simple apology she wants and if you read it in a defensive tone, it gets blown out of proportion. I've had friends' parents teach me etiquette that my own parents don't know, so I would appreciate the lesson, especially if I was unaware of the proper protocol.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect an apology if the kid is just ghosting her and everyone else is enabling her about it. 14 is also very much old enough to learn responsibility for their actions.
Story 4: I’m socially awkward, have been since the age of 12, but whenever I had stuck my foot in my mouth like that, the gracious thing my parents did for me was sit down and discuss how insensitive it was and guide me through on apologizing. Because that is how we learn from our mistakes. If OP wants an apology but doesn’t feel comfortable gently confronting the teenager, then she can go to the parents and explain, and if they are decent enough they can help their daughter. Giving kids and teenagers a silent pass for disrespect, unintentional or not, does no favors for them on figuring out how to communicate difficult and emotional conversations later. Sometimes that awkward teenager with offensive jokes becomes just an offensive adult that never needed to apologize, and by then it becomes too late to have the excuse “I was never taught better”.
Yeah, she could have sat down with her parents and they all could have talked it out not wait months after the fact is why the OP is wrong.
Well that is the parent's responsibility. It's not the responsibility of the people you hurt to educate you on being better. And that's coming from another painfully socially awkward person who also has Autism and other mental disorders. I was properly taught how to properly speak to people and what kinds of heartless things I should never say. Kids have to learn from their own parents. This girl is no exception.
Social grace and respect are taught and practiced skills. Not correcting anti-social habits and not teaching how to apologize is actually quite the AH move. Although this would be on the parents not OP.
If some one has never apologized, it does not make them a Saint but an AH as everyone screws up. It might be a simple slip, it may be a misunderstanding or intentional act, regardless to learn how to admit your faults is a critical life skill that so many lack in the modern social environment.
@@bluedragonfox It's not Op's job to check someone else's kid tho. She's asking for an apology and that's really all she's entitled to do in this situation other than let it go
Not only that but there is probally a thought like daughters friend COULD apoligise but she DOSN'T is it becaue shes ashamed, because she was never taught better, or because for some reason she just dislikes the mother.
Just not apoligizing makes it look like it wasn't an accident and besides the mother said she can't come to THEIR house not that they couldn't meet at all, wich os her right she dosn't to invite someone who disrespects her in her own home.
Also the dad said it was just an acciden and isn't a big deal, THEN WHY CAN'T SHE JUST APPOLIGISE, 14 jears old is old enough in Germany to be allowed (with parrent permisson to take a vacation on your own, you are partialy acountable for crimes and are allowed to chose your Religion (your alowed to switch you religion on legal papers if you so chose)
If 14 jear old can hold that much responsapility than a simple I apolligize should be the efing minimum
“Gutted him”
Yeah, I’m sure when Op lost their mom, had a Stepmom forced upon them, was emotionally abandoned by their dad, and treated like a nuisance and a parasite for wanting some vague amount of support or attention or affection, they were probably pretty gutted too. Poor little man will survive.
“Unnecessarily cruel”
I don’t feel like I need to repeat Op’s hardships again?
Old man burned the bridges between him and Op, stomped and sledgehammered away the surviving bits, ate and shat out what little remained, and presented his turd to Op like it was worth anything. Op gave him the barest fraction of the pain they felt.
And further insult to injury, they made OP resent her only sibling.
Someone reported they read an update which OP states she never resented her brother but hated how she wasn’t allowed to see him in the hospital nor have a relationship. OP also apparently found out that her dad’s relationship with his wife ended after son’s death and they are divorcing. He saw this as the opportunity to reach out to OP. OP has made it clear to the relatives who have been bombarding her that if they have any concern for her feelings they will no longer bring him up and will never discuss anything about her to him.
Thats a solid comment right there. Well said.
Not the way I would have phrased it, but yeah, I was thinking the same
And he only reached out to her when his son died. If his son never got sick , he would have still punted her off to her grandparents and would have been perfectly content with his wife and son.
And the fact that this loser whined to all his relatives about how very mean his daughter was is the cherry. What a pathetic chump.
He didn't care about OP till he lost his other child... I hate when people have a "favorite" child and dump all their time and energy into them, then when that gamble doesn't work out they think "don't I have a back-up kid around here?"... I get needing more time and energy on the child with cancer but there is NO excuse to essentially abandon your other kids because of it... They wouldn't even let OP have a real relationship with their brother before he passed and that is the real tradegy here...
They called her a liar….FOR HAVING TRASH. Omg I love how low effort her trap was. She didn’t leave it out, there was no fake message, she literally just put a thing in the trash and it worked perfectly
The fact that she went as far as digging in the trash like a raccoon is crazy to me lol
With the mom and daughter’s friend story, I want to make a counter argument. Yes socially awkward kids are drawn to socially awkward kids, but they are also drawn to the first person who is nice to them. Which sometimes ends up being an abusive friend, which we all know from these stories, tend to start small and escalate. Plus being socially awkward and being a teenager shouldn’t excuse not apologizing, and learning to apologize for these kinds of things now is much better than trying to retrain yourself as an adult. As long as saying sorry and dropping it there is all the OP is wanting, I don’t see anything wrong with it, as long as that is ALL she is wanting.
Yes I don’t understand these people who are calling OP an asshole. All she wants is an apology for being called fat. All that friend needs to do is APOLOGIZE.
@@Kaiservondonau exactly because what if friend thinks it’s okay to insult OP. This should’ve been handled sooner which is only where I think OP failed. Friend needs to know that that bad behavior, even unintended, isn’t awarded
As a bigger person, I know for a FACT that everyone calling OP an asshole have never been over weight and have never have to deal with being plus size. 14 or not, socially awkward or not, calling someone fat ain't it. Thats also coming from someone who has autism and literally has to filter EVERYTHING.
This 200000%. Spot. Freaking. On.
Mhm mhm you make a very good argument and point there, 100% agree
Story 3: OP did what she had to do to get that bill reduced because of how unreasonably expensive it was. Yeah, it might sound extreme to some, but it got the desired result
True you sometimes need to go that far, but honestly & this is a bit of a personal point of mine the fact the gf choose instead to defend her actions and be rather aggressive instead of easing the bf's concerns and stress was a bit jerky imo, but I don't know I guess that's just me and my experiences affecting my decisions
Yeah, he's incredibly shitty for that. He almost should pay the full amount
@@shadowmewfred09 do you think OP will step up again or let boyfriend pay the price?
Absolutely not extreme at all. She wrote an email at every level, giving time to respond at each level. It's not her fault no one responded before she reached the highest level, if anything it's the hospital's fault for not managing it correctly. All it would've taken was for one person to respond that they would look into it for it to stop escalating. She handled it professionally.
The boyfriend is very stupid and a coward, his girlfriend has cut his bill by more than 90% by discovering the price gouge tatic that coporation uses to trick their customer for paying more for the same results as other hospital. This is worthy of praise but he scared of some repercussions? If anything, they gotten great info and tips for the government to do investigation on their practice.
Story 3: I've said this in the comments of another video with this story, but we really need more people challenging the healthcare industry like this. Just imagine what could be done if this sort of thing is done every patient who gets charged excessively for getting healthcare.
What OP did was amazing, though I keep wondering if it would end in everybody just ignoring all the emails they get if everyone did this. But, *something* needs to be done...
I think the OP of that story is amazing. I'd hire her to help get my medical bills down.
Yeah one of the reasons healthcare has so many issues is that costs are completely disconnected and obfuscated from services. It's illegal for them to still be doing this but the government doesn't want to crack down.
hey americans, you know what could help with these problems with healthcare? voting for people who promise to enact universal healthcare. the reason healthcare costs so much is because its privatized and focused on making money over helping people get healthy. if health insurance didn't exist and healthcare cost was regulated by the government and everyone was entitled to receive that care, then all these problems would go away. no more outrageous costs, no more run arounds, and no more denial of care because its not covered, because it will all be covered. you gotta vote for those who want such things.
@abiean222 most of us know that, or at least the smart ones do, but there are way too many idiots here who have no thoughts in their head except "government bad." It's horrible and I hate it here.
Story 2: I don't blame the husband for wanting to celebrate his birthday with his family but fuck them for blaming the OP on her miscarriages. That's not on her, that's on nature.
And if they want to blame someone, half of the responsibility goes to each of the parents, since low quality semen CNA cause miscarriages too 🤷
Last story: OP didn't lie, though. She didn't utter a single word about a pregnancy or anything. The MIL interpreted what she found while snooping around where she had no business to be in the first place, then told literally everybody about her findings, the most intimate and private thing there is - and then she b lames OP for "lying"?!?! That's so messed up, the level of mental gymnastics - I can't. The husband agreeing with her is a major red flag imo.
I'm bothered by the fact that, if the test had been real, the MIL wouldn't even have given OP a chance to tell her husband, the baby's father, about the pregnancy. He would have had to find out from the family grapevine, which is awful.
Yeah I was trying to figure out where she lied too. The mother snooped around and made assumptions exposing her own bad behavior and her son's unwillingness to support his wife.
The 14 y/o girl didn't even come across as a joke to me. I think she was just talking literally and forgot to put up the filter in time.
Reminds me of my cousin with Turner Syndrome.
Which she should’ve apologised for…
And I think she has heard a relative say it after getting with a new partner who makes really good food, regardless of if they have actually gained weight/changed shape or not.
All three of you please don't reproduce
@@eldenlion5850 sorry, too late. And I've never held a grudge on any of my kids friends or jeopordized their friendships because of my ego.
@@eldenlion5850 what because I won’t be enabling a kids rude behaviour. Ion know what parents u guys have but even if it’s accidental if it’s come out rude u should apologise and clear up the fact u didn’t mean it in that way. But apparently teaching ur kids to communicate in a bad way makes me someone who shouldn’t be able to reproduce
The hospital story. Yes it is a bad thing to tag board directors and upper management IF you went for them first. But going up the chain of command, like they did, is the ethical way to handle things like this
Exactly
Yes! As someone with disabilities, it's common to have to advocate for our needs to be met, whether it's health care, insurances or other services by contacting many agencies and departments within various agencies. It's also not uncommon for agencies to ignore their clients or patients and you have to keep contacting them over and over until someone responds. Some individuals need someone else to advocate for them if they aren't getting anywhere. This is why case managers and social workers exists.
Due to the fact that she was able to get the bill from $5,000 to $26, this meant they were overcharging him. Many insurances get away with this because people don't question things or take the time to advocate.
About the birthday cake story:
I mean, his wife did invite her husband to celebrate his birthday and eat cake with her. It's not her fault he didn't attend.
The sigh of relief I made when the dad, stepmom, or half bro didn’t tear up the collages was IMMENSE let me tell you.
Story 1: Wow… this reminds me of an older AITA Reddit story about OP being the older sister who was dropped off at the Grandparents when the younger sister got cancer. And was essentially abandoned by her parents. So when the younger sibling passed away, the parents went back to OP. Only for OP to blew up at them abandoning her and saying something along the lines of “you had one child and they’re six feet under now.”
Yeah but the thing is she and her dad experienced a huge amount of trauma. Wife 1 died of cancer. Then his son gets it. So the fact that having g a child with cancer is extreme fucked and that it means they require more of your energy. Op is so stuck on what she is losing she doesn't care that her sibling is going to be dead.
Tbh in both cases I think those kids are extremely self centered. They are the one's telling the story but the underlying issue is that those kids both had NO EMPATHY for their parents or their dying sibling. Can you imagine being the parent of a child with cancer. Losing that child only for your other kid to berate you and insult you for not being a good enough parent or showing enough attention. That would be fucking crushing and it is absolutely not okay.
@@Ayaforshort Her parents never even had enough empathy to check up on her when her mom died from cancer and then her brother got cancer. They did not support her. She was a child without any care and was expected to just not exist until someone dies. I feel for her. Her parents weren't willing to console her when she needed, and, apparently, her father was verbally abusive. Her dad was allowed to grieve with the support of his family, but she never got that chance. Her father neglected her. Yeah, he was going through shit, but he had two kids and chose to only focus on 1 without so much as any consideration of the other. There is no excuse for choosing to be a parent to one child and a stranger to the other.
@@Ayaforshort people like you don't understand empathy or the fact that children, all children, deserve to be loved and cared for
@@Ayaforshort I really hope you never have kids, cause you would make one crappy parent.
@@fryingpanvan the first part about not supporting her when her mom died was never stated. Her father didn't start focusing on her little brother until he got cancer, and the op made it clear she didn't want to get close to the step mother. The OP's father had to take care of a dying 3 year old that is obviously going to take up a lot of his free time, and time that isn't free. Depending on how young she was when her brother got cancer it's understandable she FELT neglected, but it was honestly unavoidable. A parent is never going to be able to divide their time equally when one child is severely sick.
Step mum's/dad's who say "I'm your mother/father now" are just awful because you can never replace your birth parent just like that. As for the story I agree NTA your dad is a failure and that call out with the PowerPoint is honesty incredible revenge
I agree. Going that way would just cause more problems and (depending on how old the kid in question is) make the kid hate you even more.
The best way to do this is "Look i may not be your real mother/father but i still would care for you as if you were my own child. I know it may take time for you to get used to this but know - i'm always there for you kiddo. In all the ways it matters"
My favorite thing about my stepdad is that he has never tried lay claim to being my dad. He is my stepdad, not my dad and he is fine with that.
And my dad is alive. I can't imagine how horrible it would be for someone with a dead parent to have some other random asshole just demand to be given that title.
@@PinataFreaks exactly. You can't just walk in saying "I'm your daddy/mommy now. Love me" and expect the child to actually love you.
Yeah, this is what I love about my stepdad, he never claims to be my actual father.
After my mom died in 1995, my father remarried. His second wife was a bitch. She told my 8 year old nephew, who lost his dad when he was 3, that she was the new family and he was the old family and no longer welcome.
Who the hell says such a thing to an 8 year old?
First story, I did the same thing with my abusive father but I wrote him a letter and gave it to him after I found out he stole $45k from my mom. Gave him an itemized list of all the abuse and said if he refuses to acknowledge that he's the problem then he doesn't get to pretend that he's father of the year.
I'm so sad for story 1's OP. I can't imagine being completely forgotten by my parents in favor of my sibling. It's understandable that they feared for their son, but OP's dad had another responsibility to his other child, and he chose to completely ignore them. He's no father to OP, and deserved what he got. "Suddenly remembering that you had another child" is a big cop-out.
Not only did he choose to ignore her he refused to let her go to the hospital and grieve her dying half brother, he refused to let her grandparents keep her during the time he was in hospital, and he didn't try to reach out until years later when the new wife was divorcing him
I honestly disagree with the story about the teenage girl calling her best friends mom fat. I'm sorry the fact that she's a teenage girl and maybe she's awkward is no excuse for not immediately say I'm sorry. I was socially awkward my entire life, but guess what I still know when I accidentally insulted someone trying to make a joke and they didn't take it well Guess what I did I apologized. That girl should immediately said I'm sorry, hell children younger than her are taught to say sorry when they say something that can be insulting, she's 14 not 8. By this age you should know that insults exist and you should apologize for insults, and that doesn't matter whether your socially awkward or not, it doesn't.
The thing is OP is putting her daughter on the spot to ask for the apology. I agree yes OP should get an apology from the friend and the friend needs to learn that their unintentional words can hurt, but this is a lesson that should be convey by OP not her introverted daughter. So OP should let the friend come over and sit both the kids down so they can learn this lesson not send the daughter off to lecture her friend.
As someone who has had to fight literal fraudulent medical bills (blood draw charges and no blood taken, labs ect) it takes harrassing everyone. I got an actual lettter that basically said it didnt matter they ddint do a draw, they wrote it down so i get charged.
Edit: after telling them i would happily pay when they gave me the results, they sent me to collections. I paid it (26 bucks after insurance back when insurance worked) to avoid charges and reported them. i was 19 and scared. Now id write a karen letter lol
Wait, seriously?! Did you have to actually pay that? Please tell me you didn’t have to pay that
People don't realize how common billing fraud is.
It's because they know 99% of people will never check
This sounds illegal as hell. They never drew blood from u but they still charged u for blood being drawn?
@@xKCAZxLEADER I disputed a charge on a bill from a private practice. They double billed to my insurance for a procedure ...... with the same date of service ..... for a service that is not performed twice during an office visit. I contacted the practice first and they wouldn't budge. So, I told them, OK, I will simply contact my health insurance provider and report the duplication in billing ..... which I did follow through on. The coverage on the duplicated billing was reversed. I subsequently received a letter from the practice notifying me that I was being dropped as a patient ...... and my mom got the same letter dropping her from the practice as well. So, I was dropped from a doctor's roster of patients for reporting an error in billing that the office refused to correct. Made me wonder if what I actually did was unknowingly report a case of insurance fraud. Alas I will never know .... but I did subsequently learn that his practice suddenly became much, much smaller because of patients changing doctors of their own accord.
@@tinydancer7426 i left my PCP b/c the office got taken over by a management program. This program sent my dr to the other branch i couldn't go to because it was too far. So, i got set up with an APRN. Saw her once, and was told to make my next appt 6 months later with her. 6 months later, i needed my thyroid meds refilled which required new bloodwork. Office said she was no longer there and refused to set me up with another dr there because they now considered me a "new patient" because I didn't see and actual DO or MD when I was at my last visit. To top it off, since i was now marked as a new patient, and they were not accepting new patients, I couldn't be seen. Mind you, I had almost 2 yrs worth of medical care with this practice. When I argued (as nicely as i could muster) with the receptionist she told me I was being hostile and she was ending the call. I admit, I was angry, but I wasn't swearing (which was nothing short of a miracle for me) and I was trying to keep a calm tone the whole time to AVOID being hung up on. Apparently it didn't matter. She hung up on me anyway and they stopped returning my calls. Only way I could get to them was to have my new PCP (which I waited 3 months to see) send them a msg to have my documents sent over. American Healthcare is an absolute joke.
Story 4: a 14 year old should know by now or be learning that when you duck up you apologize. Her not letting the friend over won’t ruin the friendship if she’s actually a good friend.
The mom never addressed it directly when it happened. Kids should be smarter, but you should also let them know when it happens and not wait four months for an apology
@@daniellehowell4339
OP literally said the diner was awkward after the comment, pretty sure that’s enough of a hint that you ducked up
@@Cyberneticfrk a joke that didn't land and a joke that hurts someone's feelings both are awkward. If you don't express the fact you are hurt you can't be mad at someone else for not knowing. Especially if the person's intent wasn't to cause harm. Maybe she should have picked up on it, but if the mom would have communicated then there would be no room for misunderstanding
also if your kid's only friend is rude af, the kid's probably gonna grow up rude too
The guy who got mad at his wife for sending all those emails has no idea how hard it is to get in contact with anyone when it comes to those kinds of things. I've had to message congress before to try and get some medical help. It was the only way to get things rolling at the time.
Story 3: NTA
When dealing with insurance companies and hospital billing departments, you have to be annoying and a-holey; they count on people being easy-going doormats so they can upcharge you
Exactly this
Gotta love America am I right?
The story where OP negotiated the hospital bill, she should consider working for Karens for hire. That is honestly some amazing work
Or work for labor unions or human rights lawyers. If she managed to lower her bf’s bill to a fair price, then what else can she do?
It reminded me of Shawshank Redemption when Andy dedicated years and sent multiple letters to get a high quality library for the prison
Not a Karen, a Caren.
Patient advocate is a literal lifesaving position at hospitals these days. Someone who knows the system and will fight for patients who've been over-billed, mistreated, ignored, etc.
Patients of all kinds, but especially women and people of any skin color that isn't white, frequently get valid concerns dismissed or wrongly diagnosed by doctors who think they're exaggerating pain or making symptoms up. If this is something OP (or anyone reading this here) is passionate about, it's very worth looking into as a career.
And I’d like to add that she did NOT harass anyone. It is not harassment to question a bill or ask someone to do their damn job. That would only be harassment if she threatened them or used crass language. She went about it the right way, working up the chain until someone gave a crap. Brava!!
How tf is wanting someone to apologize ruining a kids friendship
Its Dabneys token shit take to stir up comments
the mother is being selfish and not letting her daughter have ONE and ONLY ONE friend because she made a mistake. as someone who wasn't allowed to talk or hang out with anyone of my parents didn't like them for any reason it made me resent my parents and made me even more introverted and didn't help me at all. by doing that to their kid, they're making her not want to come out her shell in fear the parents won't like the friend. wanting an apology is okay but demanding it in order for the daughter to see or talk to the girl is selfish and she's only thinking of herself and not how the daughter feels. the girl will obviously know what she said wasn't okay.
@@christinapowers9588 dude seriously you are waaay overstating what OP is doing. She isn't saying, "this person can't be your friend until she apologizes" she's saying, "I don't want her over until she apologizes" and A. That's not going to ruin a friendship B. An apology is free C. Being called fat when you're sensitive about your weight (wich I assume is the case here) seriously crushes you, and I know from experience C. Even if the kid didn't mean any harm, that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to apologize
@@christinapowers9588 no no no I disagree with you a lot. Demanding basic respect isn't being selfish. Children must respect adults, that's how things are. As a child and even now when I'm invited over at a friend's house I always refer to their parents as "Sir" and "Madame", unless they told me not too. It's basic respect. The friend called the mother fat, then what ? She'll be jokingly call her a bitch ? No, things must be clear from the start and OP as every right to ensure that this kind of disrespectful behavior would be prevented.
And honestly, I personnaly wouldn't want to be Friend with someone that disrespect my mother.
I don't know if it's a cultural thing to be that lenient with kids but that's not how I was raised.
@@christinapowers9588 oof ur terrible at judging
"Your family is sick so you have to put up with the neglect" is the literal rhetoric my mom used when my grandma was still alive. And I'll never really forgive her for choosing her over me in a time of crisis. How can I feel so neglected when they put in so much work towards treating my congenital mental disorder? I'd like to do the same thing OP does, but also not have to feel hurt in the aftermath of that choice. I always end up in a very dark place when this video autoplays.
I forget where I heard the first story last night, but it seems there was an update or info in the comments where it came to light that stepmother divorced OP's dad after the brother died. He was just looking for someone to lean on now that everyone has left. Also OP says she loved her brother, but when he got sick she was shunted off to her maternal grandparents and was often kept away from her brother. So I would say her father failed both his children.
I'd say. That was her half brother and based off the one Saint Jude commercial I get a lot now with a little girl with cancer coming alive again when they finally brought her little brother to visit. Kids want to see all of their family and not just parents. They'd like a bit of normalcy and if they have siblings and are close to them they'd want to meet them. I could only imagine OP's little brother looking up to them and wanting to see them even for a little bit.
Edit: sorry for wall, just ranted a bit remembering the commercial and seeing that there might have been a want from the little boy to see their big sibling before they got sicker or died. I could easily see the parents shutting down every wonder of where OP was with a "They don't want to see you"
Right, reasonable assessment. I think OP also has a LOT of anger issues dating back to her own mother dying and stepmother not being the same, not as caring. Anyone with a stepparent can tell you the same story. This kid feels like she lost two parents when her mother died.
That said, she’s still the asshole for inflicting that much pain on her dad. If she can resolve her mother’s death, maybe she can learn to see life through her father’s eyes and forgive his mistakes. He clearly loves her, and her missive to him hurt him very deeply.
@@curtish2541 so what? Maybe it was an asshole move but as someone who is a stepchild who also has half siblings with a lot of medical issues, her father should have stepped up and been there for her. It’s not impossible. He failed to meet her emotional needs, and so now she resents him. You can’t rekindle a relationship that has rotted from the inside out.
Her father needs to understand how badly he failed before a relationship can begin again. I am speaking from experience; I had no desire to be close to my stepparent or parent until they understood how badly they fucked up with me. And only after my mom and I had a lot of serious discussions where we were both crying (and I was screaming) was I able to accept the past and be ready to move on. My mom being receptive, even though it was difficult to hear what I had to say, was willing to reflect and apologize.
My stepfather and I have not spoken in five years. He did not want to hear anything I had to say. Would not accept any form of criticism on his failures. Even when I visit, I cold shoulder him. I cannot even look at him without feeling angry. It’s like a fucking animal in my chest that claws and bites. I still hate him and I probably will for a long time.
@@PadawanoftheSea so in order to ever get past it, she needs to resolve the real issue in her life, her mother’s death. I’m not absolving her dad at all, as he did not recognize her needs. But she was at her grandparent’s home, she wasn’t exactly abandoned, and he’s trying to reconnect. She’s gonna carry all that hate around all her life? Seems pretty counter productive.
@@curtish2541 for me, personally, the hate only rekindles when I’m around my stepfather. I don’t think about him when I am not around him. I don’t care about him thru my day to day life. Only when he tries to act like a parent does it piss me off.
And from the context of the story, it sounds like it wasn’t just the dad not being present. The poster specifically said she wrote down things he said to her, which means that he was also verbally callous if not outright mean. And when you’re a kid, that shit sticks with you for the rest of your life.
You can’t be absent/cruel to a child for a significant part of their life and then turn around and expect everything to be fine. And, according to the post’s comments, it’s awfully convenient that he only reached out after his son died and his wife divorced him. Why not before that? Even after his son died, why not before his divorce? Why is he only suddenly interested in reconnecting after he’s sad and alone?
Just seems like he got what he deserved. The anger never goes away, even with therapy, but it fades. She can work through it, with the help of her support circle and a mental health professional. But forgiveness can only happen if someone is capable of taking responsibility for their actions, and take steps to improve themselves. Some people will never be able to take accountability. Maybe the dad will.
*First OP:* OP went through a lot; poor thing. Was the PowerPoint presentation harsh? Yes. Did OP's father deserve it? Absolutely. Also, where was OP's extended family sans grandparents when her dad abandoned her ( *Get out of my head, rSlash!* )? OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* I don't understand why OP's husband would still want to see his family after they blamed OP for her miscarriage. That should've been grounds for going NC. In fact, had OP's husband _ever_ defend OP to his family? Eating the whole cake is kind of petty, but it's trivial compared to what the husband did which is why I'm going with NTA.
*Third OP:* That's impressive! It's sad that OP had to jump through hoops to lower the hospital bill, though. Someone in the Reddit replies pointed out that OP's boyfriend got upset because of how it connects to his job? I don't remember the specifics, but if that's the case, then I'd say NAH. Otherwise, OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* On one hand, as someone who's self-conscious about her weight (I'm working on it), I can understand how a person's remark can sting. On the other hand, as someone who's socially awkward (working on that as well), I can understand having my foot in my mouth. The girl didn't mean any ill will, and she likely felt bad enough. OP is TA.
*Fifth OP:* OP's MIL wouldn't _have_ to experience heartbreak if she hadn't snooped through OP's things! OP is NTA.
I was worried when OP brought up the collages and journals I was worried that stepmom would ruin them to assert herself as only motherly figure.
This is what gets me about stories like this. That anyone could blame the girl for being harsh. Frankly he deserved harsh and worse. He deserves to feel like trash for what he did.
@@johnwoodworth9127 I read about a follow up to this story which OPs after her brother died her father and his wife are divorcing and he felt like this was the time to reach out to her. He expected a shoulder to cry on but instead got the cold blow of reality
Oh yeah, kids are weird like that. I was 17 and got asked by a kid if dinosaurs were alive when I was young since I looked old according to him. Kids just haven't figured out how to filter things
@@idiotically-everything I was, and am, an awkward person. That's not an excuse to not own up to your mistakes, and if you don't normalize owning up as a teen, they will NEVER do it as an adult until consequences catch up with them. Usually in a very bad way.
I wish one day Rslash daughter brings her friend and she says “Your wife is so kind and patient, no wonder she married such an idiot like you”. And Rslash keep straight face and take this insult gracefully without taking that friend accountable for rude words in his house. I've been a teenager. It's part of growing up to take responsibility if your rude words made someone feel bad and apologize for it.
yeah, that's what i was thinking
also, if the daughter hangs out with those kinds of people, i'm not really sure she grows up a nice person
Yeah, RSlash had a weird take on that. You say something rude, even if, unintentional you apologize. His reaction was soo weird imo.
A bit late, but i think its because he said before he leans to be on the side of the kid in stories like this. Im nit defending him, that take was weird. As someone bigger myself id be miffed about a comment like that too
Yes but the problem here is that the mom held a grudge against a 14 year old and instead of taking the responsibility of managing her OWN insecurities, she's expecting a CHILD to manage her insecurities. Dabney was exactly right on this one, you turn the moment into a teachable moment, the kid says sorry, and everyone moves on. But you notice, even the mom didn't say anything and just sat there fuming. It's her own fault for not taking the incentive in that moment and asking for an apology.
@@TheSaxAppealAre you stupid? All she has to do is apologize 💀💀💀
Damn, I wish I had a girlfriend dedicated to getting rid of medical bills like that, cause that's truly savage. That man is truly lucky.
Story 5: Why do some people do this? It's an invasion of privacy and it's not okay. I've visited my cousins a few times and he doesn't let me or my brothers in his room if he doesn't want it.
Unfortunately I couldn’t hear any RSlash comments since I’m at work but a theory is that MIL wants to sabotage OPs birth control.
I mean she's definitely in the right but a fake pregnancy test is a bit too far. Like there are less dramatic ways that don't risk this level of blowback and potentially hurting your SO..
@@goazer2 what should she have done instead?
Did anyone else catch the wording about how MIL feels heartbroken because -she- wants children? Except she already has a child: her son/OPs husband.
Some people are so entitled and nosy that they MUST snoop and spy on everything. Like they're so bored with their lives they don't know what to do other than be a complete creep and look at other people's stuff. Like my father for example. I wasn't allowed privacy growing up. Hell my dad is so nosy he spies on the neighbors through the window, so not even the neighbors have privacy. Like my dad would always sit behind me when I was talking to my teenage skype gal friend that lived in another state when I was a teenager, even though I told him to stop doing that cause it made me uncomfortable. My dad never took my boundaries seriously. Some people just don't know how to mind their own business and some out right refuses to cause they're so entitled that everyone's business must be THEIR business too.
Story 3: NTA; considering the corruption of billing in the medical industry, this was a great way to call them out and get the reduction necessary, and if the boyfriend cannot understand that, then OP needs to reassess the relationship.
Also she only escalated things because she didn't get responses at the proper level
It's good to note the father from the first story only reached out to his child DURING his divorce to the step mother, so he's selfishly reaching out because he's alone, not because he misses his kid.
1st story: OP isn't the butthole. I relate to their story as my father also abandoned me for my younger half brother and the stepmother really took to the "I'm your only mother" thing too. Kinda wish I'd thought of the PowerPoint thing. I just went with a well worded email and never looked back
Bruh how did she lie?? She bought a novelty gag item and threw it in the trash. She didn't lie about anything.
That's the point, OP left something, which is a hint of something which isn't actually true, and instead of scolding the MIL in this, they take it out on OP, which is basically them defending the MIL and telling OP that she can snoop in whatever she wants and OP shouldn't pull stuff like this ever again.
The birthday cake one made my coworker and I laugh. And we agree that he got his "just desserts"
Props on OP for telling exactly what she felt and telling him to go away. He should feel gutted! Its well deserved! He should step up and tell the family to stop guilting OP because it just shows how all of them are selfish and hypocritical
Also, how are you supposed to sugar-coat telling someone "You abandoned me when I needed you. I got told I was selfish for wanting something basic. You failed me and mom. Go away"
I love that they called her a liar even though she literally didn’t tell them she was pregnant whatsoever. MIL snooped through OP’s trash, then told everyone that OP was pregnant. If anything, MIL is the liar 🤷♀️
In Story #1, I was completely expecting the father or his 2nd wife to have destroyed the book of collages that OP's mom had given them.
Me too! I was like, “this stories gonna be a roller coaster.” But no- just another case of replacing op for another family… like I get ops step brother had cancer but, that doesn’t excuse abandoning op. Op was a child too, and should’ve been loved even if her step brother had cancer. Then like rslash said op was the inferior child, second choice. (TLDR; I agree with this comment)
I kinda was expecting that too.
Same
Things that are okay: Making a child's childhood miserable
Things that are not okay: Child sending documentation of how bad it was to the person that did it
Make it make sense.
didn't do it randomly. Dad wanted a relationship after pretty much abandoning her. That was the answer
It doesn't. Just be glad you're connected to reality enough to see it that way. To many people hear or read these stories and recognize the behavior they've experienced aswell.
A relative of mine literally wrote a book about American medical debt and how to avoid it. What OP did in the third story was absolutely what you need to do aside from emailing shareholders and stuff, but the escalation wasn’t that bad.
I think u missed it at story 4, she is not holding a grudge, she was disrespected and doesn't want it to be normalized and it is a learning opportunity for both teenagers.
First story: I can see why Op is this upset, he was ignored for 8 years and until now people acknowledged his presence.
She... It was a girl
First Story, NTA: Making a powerpoint listing out why u hate ur dad is creative lol. At least he knows that OP don’t like him and don’t want nothing to do with him. "Unnecessarily cruel"? He deserved this, he abandoned OP for years. He needs to feel the weight of how much OP don’t like him
Second Story, NTA: So this guy let his family blame OP for a miscarriage?! I’m not a woman nor can say I know what that feels like but I’m pretty damn sure miscarriages are things that u don’t expect to happen. OP is married to a boy, not a man. The cake part, OP paid for the cake and he ditched OP to be with his horrible family so
Third Story, NTA: I think OP's husband is too considerate of others. It's the amount of money hospitals charge are the reasons most people avoid going to the hospital at all, unlese they really have to. I wouldn’t be complaining whout having to only pay $26 than $5k and the methods wouldn’t bother me at all. OP's boyfriend is lucky to have OP
Fourth Story, YTA: OP wants to ban her daughter's only friend over a small screw up that happened a month ago? OP is the type of person that would kill the mood of a roasting session because she is too sensitive to any comment about her. OP needs to get a grip
Fifth Story, NTA: The purpose of traps is to catch someone in the act. OP did what she had to just to prove that her husband's mom was invading OP's privacy. OP's husband didn’t believe that his mom snooped so OP had to prove it
Here here
Damn giving all that energy to tell someone I hate you. My lazy ass would have just ghosted them
Its only cruel if the dad didn't deserve it
Now the hours of PowerPoint making has worth now I need my dad just to find the milk☹
@@RollingStar04lmao facts. The fact OP put in the effort to make a powerpoint to explain why she hates her dad really emphasize how much she don’t like him
Dude seriously lol 14 is old enough to apologize when she puts her foot in her mouth, it’s a learning lesson that will help in adulthood
I think it's an ESH moment.
Yeah.
Exactly! It's super important to learn that at a young age, because I've seen moments where bridges were burned because someone was unable to apologize...
This is exactly my thought. As someone who is socially awkward, it's more important to let the socially awkward individual know that they did something wrong and how to properly rectify the situation.
14 isn't 4. The kid is old enough to know that words can be hurtful. In fact, most 13/14-year-olds know how to say hurtful things better than anyone else.
true,but the issue is the awkwardness.there are just times when something seems so difficult to do because you don't know how to deal with.i myself is an introvert,i know exactly how hard sometimes to say "thank you" or "sorry".it is easy to say these things,but there is this case that something is smashing your brain because you're feeling so embarrassed and ashamed that you can't say a word.this may be difficult to understand but that's the life of people like me who are socially awkward and introvert,we are not like normal people who have basic social capability,there are things(mentally,emotionally) that restrict us from acting or saying what we may want to say or what should be expected from normal people.this life is not easy,sometimes we enjoy our loneliness and peace,but there are times when it is sad and hard because you have no one you can trust or hold on to,the harshest part of this life is that we are holding so much pain and suffering on our own.some people like of this kind are actually is having mentality of suicide or wanna end this life,but some,like me,just tend to just wanna stay alive and hope one day there would be someone that could understand our feelings and mentality and be a very important part of our life...
Story 3: OP's boyfriend sounds very much like a "don't rock the boat" type. Like he does his best to be kind and non-confrontational to everyone around him. Giving his much more assertive girlfriend carte blanche to deal with billing as she saw fit, maybe after reading the emails he feels that they reflect poorly on him as a person. I've been that person in the past. Not saying it makes him right, and OP definitely is NTA, just I can sort of understand where he's coming from, if my intuition is right. He's still a spineless coward who's more worried about the fee-fees of a faceless entity than he is happy that he doesn't have to pay the bloodsuckers 5k anymore.
Story 1: NTA; the fact that the father feels so devastated is good, it means he understands how badly he fucked up, but OP going NC because of his actions is a consequence he's going to have to live with now, and in no way is it wrong for OP to have shared how she felt the way she did. In fact, it's likely the only reason he feels as guilty as he does.
Story 1 nta that's how you shame someone. He deserves the guilt knowing he failed his first wife.
I mean don't you think it's sus that no one is concerned that her baby brother was dying of cancer and she gave zero f's.
I'm really floored by the lack of empathy and the fact that people don't know how to examine a situation beyond just the surface details. Because in reality. Moaning about not getting enough attention and how much you hate your step mom and how your dad paid more attention to your dying brother is epically childish.
Nah let's take pictures of my hormonal angsty teen diary to let my parent know how much I hate him....
@Tales toTell
ok 💀
@@Ayaforshort well said. Imagine losing your wife to cancer and a child to cancer... OP gets a hardcore asshole score. OP made it clear they don't give a flying fuck about their dad's trauma. It's all about her her her
@@AyaforshortOP doesn’t feel anything for her brother bc she never got to bond with him. R/slash didn’t read it but according to another comment here she elaborated that they never allowed her to visit him in the hospital. excusing the father & stepmom/victim blaming OP for wanting some attention during the 6 years of constant emotional neglect ain’t what’s the issue. What was stopping her father from spending some time with her occasionally? Instead of lumping her off to her grandparents and essentially ignoring her existence till he had no one left.
Just because 1 child was/is sick doesn’t excuse pushing the other aside.
@@Ayaforshort it is childish yes. But again she was a child. Are you expecting a child to not be childish ? Are you expecting her to get over it even though it happened in an age where she wasn't emotionally equipped to deal with the situation ?
Sure, she could have review her stance now that she is an adult but that's not an easy thing to do when it's the root of your trauma. She'll never get her childhood back, being emotionally depraved when growing up is the kind of thing that can stay with an individual for decades after.
Not everyone react the same but I assure you this go deeper than being an "angsty teen" for some peoples.. Maybe you never met someone that with scaring childhood though...
"they said it was unnessicarly cruel"
And abandoning a grieving child isn't? Based off the post OP got no Therapy and spent most of her life being ignored after her little brother got cancer And her step mom forced her to call her mom. and after his spotlight child died he decided to try and build a relationship with his other child. I remember hearing a story like this where the abandoned child said "you only have one child and he's 6 feet underground' or something like that
I love how around the end of the fourth story, RSlash was kinda teetering between normal voice and Karen voice before the final sentence-
Yea, I think the BIGGEST issue is OP's husband forcing her to pee on a stick RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! 😶
And at her job. Good way for him to get dragged by security
Yeah how dare a man want to check if his WIFE who left a positive pregnancy test in the bin, is really pregnant. After all it's not like it's a massive life changing event. :o
The second time she got called a liar, and she hadn't lied at all!
Story 3: 0/5 NTA she did EXACTLY what she had to do. They bounced her everywhere trying to give her the run around. Did he expect her to just take a 7 X reasonable rate? From $5000 to $26...He's a really ungrateful partner.
How about he get mad at the hospital for MAKING HER have to do what she had to do.
The friend story, why would you want your child to hang out with a friend who's potentially a bully? Who knows what comments she makes when both girls are alone about other people or even the daughter! She's 14, and she can easily apologize. OP didn't say she put an ultimatum that her daughter could not be friends with her. All she said was that she couldn't come over until she apologized.
Stepmom of the first story deserves the same score as the dad, maybe even more. She tried to erase OP’s mom and ignored OP’s trauma
9:33 I need someone like this in my life to negotiate hospital bills 😂
Just to clarify for the first story, op said half brother, not step brother. Meaning that he was the biological child of her step mom and dad. It doesn't change the story that much but the difference is still worth noting. That it was the fathers son, not step son that he basically abandoned op for.
you know the half brother had cancer right? do you have any idea how hard it is to take care of a 3 year old with cancer like come on now.
@@paranormalsnow8030 Well yes it is hard to take care of a little kid with cancer, but there are two parents TWO that literally ignored OP. Like one of them couldn’t just stay with a sick kid in another one take care of her.
I disagree about story to do with the fat joke. Demanding an apology from the friend is only right. By 14 the concept of an apology should NOT be a difficult thing to grasp. Expecting an apology before continued visiting is establishing of boundaries in my opinion. This isn't a matter of ego or pride at all
The second story, he was angry that she wanted him to ditch his family, which is what he actually did, your wife is your family, your wife is where you loyalty now lays.
Takes determination to make a PowerPoint
ifkrrrr
Yeah, and a well deserved PowerPoint. I’d say the dad needs 4.5/5 assholes. He deserves to be devastated.
Inagine being such a PoS, that someone has to make a power point as to why u are such a PoS.
Yeah. He’s ignored her and her feelings since her mother died and is getting 17 years of repressed feelings. I hope OP didn’t use her actual email to send the PowerPoint?
@@lorilancaster5917 I hope not. Because then it could be used in a defamation lawsuit…which he would probably lose and also him being a HUGE POS
I can imagine just changing the reasons why you hate your dad and using the PowerPoint effects
"1st reason why i hate you:You treat me like shit" *fading*
"2nd reason:You were a huge asshole"
Story #2: NTA!! Your husband needs to stand up for you. I couldn't let my family do this to my husband. Give him the gift of divorce papers!
I feel like the mom is in the right for wanting an apology. But it's how she's going about it. She seems like she wants it bc of a power play instead of wanting it as a teaching moment for the friend which is what it should be used for in that situation considering its been months since it happened
I don’t think she was able to get to that layer in the heat of the moment . There are are always things we want to say but don’t because maybe we get thrown off, etc . I do agree with you though this is just my two cents
@@skipharris4293 true
It just seems really sad to let a child's misspeaking affect you like that for literal months
I can relate to the first story. A very similar thing happened to me. My father died in October 2022, and I recently received a copy of his will where it clearly states I am to be left out completely, lol, as if I, his first child who is named after him, expected anything. My estranged sister, the golden child, received the majority of his estate. The notice was to offer me a chance to protest or contest the will...the only thing I object to is their use of my maiden name as my middle name in the document. I DO NOT WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH HIS LAST NAME! EVER! As for my sister and cousins, all I can say is, enjoy looking at his child porn you are gonna find when you go through his stuff. He was a worthless piece of sewage! Good riddance!
I'm gonna guess he wasn't reported for the child porn in his stuff, but why do you know about it? Regardless, you do what's best and healthiest for you.
Story 5: NTA; the husband getting upset that OP set a trap for his mother is as much an issue as the MIL snooping.
Even if it was real, there is such a thing as false positives after all. MIL should have waited till OP said something, but once again she proves to not be trustworthy.
This is an ESH moment. Imagine that you really wanted kids but found out your wife is being petty. There's easier ways to catch the mil snooping then to fake a pregnancy test, nanny cam comes to mind. Husband sucks for not listening the first time and mil sucks for not minding her own buisness.
@@drwboy07 except the MIL is the one snooping AND the one desperate for grandkids, not the husband. His real concerns, as OP relates, is that he didn't get to know first and didn't approve of the trap on his MIL. Nowhere in the story does it say that he was upset OP wasn't pregnant, his focus was entirely on his mother's feelings.
@@auberginebear it doesn't matter if he wanted kids or not, the trust in the marriage is gone now because of the wife's pettiness. No matter how you spin it everyone still sucks.
@@drwboy07 how is it petty to not want someone rifling through your possessions unwarranted and set a trap to call that person out? And if anyone broke trust, it was the husband first for not taking OP's concerns seriously about the MIL spying on them both!
Same situation here. We’re abused by our parents but are made out to be the bad guy when we explain that their actions were bad.
As someone who's had family in and out of the hospital, I think OP is doing the right thing. The cost of going to the hospital is so severe that I personally can't even afford going for any health issues. Good on them for bringing it to the board's attention, it's so insane
Story 1: NTA, OP's powerpoint devastated her sperm donor because that's exactly what it should have done.
Let’s not overlook the fact that husband forced wife to take a pregnancy test in front of him. That’s abusive.
Last story: Husbad- "How dare you lie to my mother about being pregnant." Wife- "I never said anything to her."
In the story where the 14 yo said "your husband's cooking is amazing no wonder you ended up a bigger woman" personally I don't think it was meant to be a joke or rude, I'm also a pretty socially akward person and to me it came across as the girl complimenting OPS husband's cooking and then realizing afterwards that "oh crap that was kinda mean" and then not knowing how to move on because it was akward and akward situations is a breeding ground for anxiety, but that's just me going off my experiences
second to last story
I'll never understand the step parents that wanna replace the parent. Like I have a step mother I call Mum (she's British) and my actually mother who's mom. She helped me through so much when I was younger, and made my dad actually happy for his final 8 years, so even without him, she's still my mum.
The bill story: I'd heard this one already and I still don't understand her boyfriend's reaction. I would be awed, appreciative and a little turned on by the might of my girlfriend. In the US, Healthcare and insurance suck ass. This is NOTHING.
My suspicion is that she did something really bad / illegal like impersonation of a lawyer or smth else that could bite them both in the azz if someone finds out. I can't think of any other reason, why the guy would react this way.
@@augustaseptemberova5664 he mentioned the "harassment" part. It's not harassment if you're exposing companies for their immoral practices (and overcharging is definitely immoral in Healthcare).
@@augustaseptemberova5664 Damn! Thats brilliant and would explain a lot, hes totally hiding something. Shoot now i need an update from that story.
@@inabruzzowithme7877 that's true, but she also mentioned she called him his "client" .. which gave me the idea that what she did might legally count as impersonation .. which might be the actual reason the bf got upset
@@augustaseptemberova5664 kind of a weak inference IMHO but you're right that we can't know if OP obviously is saying the whole truth.
Last Story: Ya ngl…the husband is gaslighting Op here…
She tried to tell him MIL was snooping but…oh no, he’s darling mother would NEVER do such a thing. Then, when Op proves that she is, the main issue isn’t that MIL WAS snooping, no it’s the fact that Op hurt her feelings to do it.
Yeah Op this entire family sounds toxic. NTA but good luck
I would think the directors above that hospital would love to be informed about how their facility is potentially massively upcoding, setting them up for huge fines from CMS
If there is one thing I absolutely HATE, it's mama's boys who will defend their toxic mother's behaviour instead of standing by their partner's side to support them. *EEWWW.*
Quick! Summon the back up child!
OP: Let me stop you right there.
That first story is absolutely beautiful, you destroyed that man’s sanity and I absolutely love it.
"the neighborhood remembers, the neighborhood punishes" - this is one of the best stories I've heard on reddit. I loved it.
A lady's collage, a daddy's whining - The Family- 'you good at him, it was unnecessarily cruel'. Yeah Right, as compared to 18 years of total abuse.
Birthday Cake Babe - I hope you either made The Birthday Present your own, or returned it.
Fourth story: I don’t agree on Rslash’s verdict. Yes, the friend might be socially awkward and unintentionally insulted OP, but I find it weird after a “couple months” hasn’t apologized for the mistake, and OP would let the friend over if they apologize.
By this view, OP isn’t abrasive, the friend is. That’s with the information we have since the information about the friend is second handed.
I'm glad someone here agrees. I was starting to think I was going crazy.
I mean, apologies are literally free. Most introverts apologize even when they know the other person is wrong... okay, not that it's a good thing, but it happens. But any friend worth having is one that can swallow their pride and say, "Hey, sorry for making fun of your weight that one time." I almost think saying "Sorry you were offended--" (the most famous non-pology of all time) would be better, at least _that_ is a half-assed attempt.
@@truthseeker9249 nahhh literally like idk how the whole family just let the mother get called fat by a 14 year old and no one said anything?!. Like damn like no one defended her. Brazyyyy
@@ifoundhisjams4075 of course they didn’t say anything they weren’t the on being insulated
@@ifoundhisjams4075 yeah.......if this was my boyfriend and I's daughter (not married and no children yet, just an example), and her friend said something like that to me my boyfriend would say something to her without any hesitation.
NTA in the cake story. Having a miscarriage is hard enough, but for the family to blame OP is just gross. I'd be reconsidering my relationship if I were her.
I think she might be pregnant again.
2nd story, I was in the same type of marriage. They would bully me online and talk nasty about me to him whenever they were on the phone. He would say that he would defend me, but I've never seen it or heard him. After 5 years together, I had to leave.
Best part about the "mean / cruel " power point is it was neither. It was a regular , truthful, and accurate presentation
I find it weird how from video to video when there is something about teenagers you change from "they are x-teen, they should know better" to "she's 14, she doesn't know" in fourth story.. Tbh, maybe it's not that big deal, but if that girl made OP feel bad and there is an easy and clear way to fix things- apologize- why not just do it and go on? Like really, it's not that hard. It shouldn't be a problem.
Because the op sounds like she wants the friend to grovel and beg for forgiveness while op laughs at her. Also, most of those x-teen stories have either older ages, or higher stakes like a burning house
@@magicfish8213 nah it doesn't sound like that. The way rslash reads it makes it sound harsh.
@@elzbietaeysymont7542 Agreed.
I was expecting the stepmom to have burned all OPs moms things.
I thought that too along with reading her journals
Man that last story... She proves that her MIL is snooping around the bedroom and as rslash says, sharing info that is not hers to share... And she's the asshole? I'd cut all ties with anyone that deflects their own bad behavior or the behavior of others like that. Especially a spouse that gets mad at their partner and defends their mothers behavior.
Medical bills: Dude! If he doesn't appreciate you dropping his bill from $5k to $26, then please, leave him and get with me. I would appreciate the hell out of you and give you massages and chocolates because you are AWESOME and DESERVE THEM.
The fake pregnancy test story is all a huge red flag. Her husband is willing to call her manipulative and cruel for the fake test but not say anything to his mother who is going through her stuff. Like that would just creep me out and make me feel like I have no privacy anymore. Also I can tell you right now that his family isn’t getting the full story. My mom is like this (had to go no contact) and she would always twist the story to make her seem like she was in the right. I say op should snoop through her MIL things and see how she likes it then either tell her husband that he needs to actually take a step back and look at it through someone else’s eyes or divorce him
I agree mostly with what you're saying. I do think that OP could have proved this meny other ways then a fake pregnancy. Truthfully I think everyone is an butthole.
@@dorrinjames5923 how though? Because to be honest I can’t think of any other way
@hyperactive skitty OP could have hidden any juicy gossip that would cause family drama. Or put dye powder, or something else. The pregnancy test seems unnecessary cruel to her husband, just to have a Gotcha moment. Not that he's blameless, but i can't fault him for feeling manipulated.
@@dorrinjames5923 well the thing is I think op chose the test because its extreme enough that her husband would realize the his mom snooping is really messed up. But apparently he’s okay with his mom spreading personal information about them. Like what if it was a real test but op had a miscarriage and was trying to find a way to tell her husband. That would have been traumatizing. Also the dye would have been a good idea but her husband would have flipped it around to her being crazy and cruel for not trusting his mom. The thing about being manipulated by family is until you realize your being manipulated then you thing that person can do no wrong and that everyone else is out to get them because that person is perfect in their eyes. So in all honesty I feel like he’s a lost cause unless he can notice his mom’s violation of space and privacy
@Dorrin James he's directing blame to the wrong place. He was manipulated by his MOTHER. Not his wife. It's not like she left the fake on the counter where he'd clearly see it and it turned out to be a lie. She put it in the trash where he wouldn't see it and his mother wouldn't if she wasn't a snoop. He would have lived on, never knowing about it if his mom wasn't a snooping, loud mouth.
I think its a good time for them to get on the same page about kids too because clearly they're not on the same page about boundary stomping and MIL would probably take that into the children's lives too. If I were OP, my answer would be to go get a copper IUD or divorce.
As someone a hospital tried to scam, I fully approve of OP's methods.
Anyone notice how the BF didn't get cake at his own party with his family?
But he is mad at his significant other that he abandoned on his birthday.
If I was the last OP id say, I bought it as a joke but I felt it too cruel so I threw it away. This MIL is going through TRASHCANS. That's way beyond snooping.