Is Therapy Really Worth It?
Vložit
- čas přidán 9. 11. 2022
- Show Notes: howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/2...
We’ve launched our E-Course, The Premarital Advantage!! View it here: howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/p...
The Website: howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/
The Email list: howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/j...
Contact Us: hello@howmarriedareyoupodcast.com
Leave Us a Voicemail: +1 727-619-4629
Leave a Review: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Every week we share with you all exactly how married we are. Now it's your turn! Leave us a voicemail at +1 727-619-4629 or send a voice message to our DM's on the #HMAY Instagram.
WAYS TO PARTNER WITH US:
Get special access to things we’re working on, extra content from our fam, and more on Patreon: / hmay
Support us with a one-time gift through PayPal: www.paypal.me/HMAYpodcast
CONNECT WITH US ON INSTAGRAM:
HMAY Podcast: / howmarriedareyou
Glen: / beleafmel
Yvette: / mrsmelanin
Chocolate Babes: / chocolatebabies
Frank the Puppet: / frankpuppet
Yvette Unplugged Podcast: / yvette_unplugged
WATCH BELEAF IN FATHERHOOD:
/ beleafinfatherhoodtv
Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!
long answer: I have watched EVERY episode of HMAY and I see the progression of your marriage from the first episode to this current one. Therapy has unlocked higher levels of understanding and communication of your individual selves (which is part of the individual work) which in turn (pastoral heavy breathing 🤣) ELEVATED the understanding you both have of each other. (heavy emphasis) SEE SEE SEE as you GROW in your OWN discoveries you then ALLOW....yes...your marriage to grow as well... the choir is standing and we lift our voices in praise....
Facts 💯! And I also think that with all of the self work comes a higher value on yourself worth. You believe in yourself, your thoughts and what you have to say and I think that is the biggest progression that I've seen in Yvette. I believe that with understanding comes value.
Amen and amen
I can't! This ws spot on, all the way 🤣🤣🤣
**proceeds to run laps in the sanctuary* 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I was a die hard ppl pleaser and soon as I started therapy it came up. Shout out to my therapist she taught me how to say no and stand on it 😂
I'm single, but I see the value of therapy. I learned that many of the character traits that I once said "that's just who I am" are actually defense mechanisms as a result of trauma and unhealthy ways of processing grief. It's still a journey, but it's worth it.
I appreciate your podcast. I see how much you two have evolved. Your content is beneficial to is single folks as well 🖤
I have watched almost every single episode of this podcast, from inception. And I must say, therapied Glenn and Yvette are HAPPY, more patient, more in sync and aware! We no longer hear Glenn say “y’all are taking sides!”, because there are no sides presented…even when you both don’t agree. You’re still individuals, but more connected. I hope that made sense. Y’all had me worried pre-break, but the time away was exactly what you needed because you are back stronger…blessings
Glenn I’ve always resonated with you personality wise, and you were dropping gems when you spoke about community as a single person vs. married. Thanks for the perspective
I think therapy helps you to find the blind spots as long as you have a good therapist and you’re willing to be open minded and compassionate with yourself
I don’t know the stats, but I would posit that a large proportion of single educated Black women are therapy seekers. The journey isn’t recent either. The openness about it is.
Big facts
"You can be the one you look up too. " " you can be where we are In one year if you do the work. " I love that. So encouraging
I would have to strongly disagree with Beleaf on the topic about single people. That is not factual at all. All single people aren’t walking around thinking nothing is wrong with them. You have to stop putting so much emphasis on TITLES & STATS. Because those are not determining factors of what the truth really is. A lot of people have been taught backwards & have lived their life through the lens of other’s NOT doing what they truly love & NOT being who they are here to be on this earth. Instead they live a life based on a lie thinking that you gotta go through life doing all these things, accomplishing all these other thing’s by this age etc & then get “Married” because somebody else told you that it’s “Supposed” to be that way. When in reality those same people who participate in those factors are truly the unhappy one’s. Your stats are based on unhappy , unhealed , mislead people. When you are doing what you truly WANT in this life & NOT living your life based on what somebody else told you, THOSE are the HAPPIEST people & those are the people that are usually “SINGLE” so please don’t ever make a broad statement like that again. Just because you & your wife has lived a life where you feel like you weren’t living up to yourself but to other’s expectations & just now figuring out how to truly be happy with your life DOESN’T mean we are all going through that. Some of us don’t live for others we live for OURSELVES & 100% FOR OURSELVES. There are people who aren’t married that take the steps in healing while others who are “Married” wait until THEY ARE MARRIED TO DO SO. Like You & Your Wife. & I mean any of this with no disrespect but I can’t sit back & listen to you make that false statement as if everybody is out here doing the same thing. We’re not. We know our flaws , we know the things we need to work on as individuals & we’re doing that everyday to become to greatest version of ourself WITHOUT somebody being there. Y’all have a good day. 💯
Beautiful adorable transparent couple. May God continue empowering your union. I love you both.
As a black therapist in training, there is so much from this episode that I have taken and also wanted to respond to! But I'll just keep it sweet: Y'all so married, you have each others' How married are you statements :D Thanks for this episode
I understand what Glenn meant about certain things not being unlocked or unearthed until you have a partner. A lot of things you just can’t realize until you live in it. My Dad used to say “It’s not personal until it’s personal”
I wouldn’t say I put y’all on top of anything but I would say I appreciate the examples and vulnerability you all show as well as other influencers because it shows how human yall are!
I think that self worth plays a big role in the decision to seek therapy. Becoming aware of your issues is one thing, but a lot of people stay stuck at that stage and don’t seek help because they don’t believe they’re worth it.
I tried therapy but it ended up with my therapist telling me her problems. I can't even do the gym thing because my Hubby's friends come to me with their issues so much that I can't even get my workout on. 🤦🏾♀️
I started therapy after my divorce. It really helped me a lot. It wasn't the divorce that I needed it for it was the trauma of being married to him and then becoming a single parent. I didn't have a good example at home as a child plus the abuse from my ex made me know I needed it to be a good parent and person.
Great episode!!!! Appreciate the transparency. I have always said that I wish I could find a husband therapist, and my wife find a wife therapist, and then they get together and be our couples therapist since they each know what is going on individually. But I don't think that is possible. But YES, everyone needs a therapist who does not tell them what they want to hear and agree with them, but rather someone who CHECKS them in a professional manner. My therapist does that with me and I appreciate it. We are still trying to find the right fit for my wife. Thanks again
omgoshh the one time the intro was absolutely perfect, i initially missed it lol
I love this interaction. I hate to generalize, but....here I go. Most men are not willing to go to therapy. I totally relate to needing a mediator.Great job on communicating, and hearing each other and feeling safe (now) to voice truth.
Checking in from the DMV.
Thank you as always. Can always relate to at least 80% of what you both share.
I sought therapy (as a single person) for professional purposes.
heyyyyyyy....my middle name is Nicole too!!! Nicole means victory of the people : ) I appreciate the victories you have gained. Listening to you guys gives me hope! I know I must remain patient in my process. I don't have the resources for therapy today but I believe I will get there!!!!!!!!!
Great topic. Thanks so much for continuing to share 💪🏾
SUCH A GREAT episode! 🤍
I know this isn’t related to the topic of the video BUT thank you Evette for briefly talking about having a rough week with sick kids. I’m in the thick of it now and momma is tired. I feel so seen. Enjoy the rest of your week family!
The sushi on the chopstick in the shower sounds like a dream lol.
Top 5 episodes!!! 👏🏾👏🏾
Great episode 👍🏾👍🏾
short answer: yes
God is great
I really needed to hear this episode. I’m currently single and I definitely need therapy. I don’t even trust the therapist tho
I strongly disagree with Beleaf on this topic. Being a single non parent person doesn't make you oblivious to self growth or the lack thereof.
That’s not what he said. The topic as a whole is questioning if therapy would have changed the way one functions in marriage. His point IMO is that you don’t know what you know and there are things that you learn about yourself in marriage that you would otherwise not be exposed to.
@@gprincess428 I'm aware and I strongly disagree as I said.
@@PHE-nomenon how can you disagree about something with which you have no experience? Who double downs on something they know nothing about?
@@gprincess428how can I have no experience being a single person with no kids IF I AM a single person with no kids? I also have plenty experience with the struggles of personal growth or the lack thereof. Also self awareness exists; therefore its possible and not uncommon for people to see the flaws in themselves and work on them while single. Which I also have experience with.
@@PHE-nomenon it’s possible for you to have self awareness about yourself as a single person. Who you are as a single person is different than who you are as a married person, or as a mom. It’s not the same, the demands aren’t the same, the responsibilities aren’t the same and while you can have opinions from the outside looking in you have no experience to substantiate it.
I agree there are things marriage and parenting can point out that can only be pointed out within that context HOWEVER, I very much disagree with the idea that if you are single with no kids that you just automatically think you are fine. Maybe that was you guys experience but there are many people who notice their personal struggles and are aware they need help. Life is hard. Some of us have anger issues, trust issues, control issues, insecurities that we are aware of that we know we need to seek help for. ALSO the idea that Yvette life would never have experience rough patches that would make her want to seek therapy if she stayed single is not true to life. Life is hard. Something would have rubbed up against her that would bring out some issues. I think some people in general are more self aware than others. Yes some people don’t think any thing is wrong with them but some of us know there are things wrong.
I also think you guys may have a bit of a narrow view on things. I think you guys are thinking about how you personally respond to things and how you personally move through the world but not everyone responds the way you do. You said iWhen you are single you are not forced to be anywhere you don’t want to be and that is not true. Maybe that was true for you but definitely not for all single people. There are many situations that bring discomfort that people have or feel like they have to stay in. The option to just leave is not always there, whether that discomfort they are feeling is good discomfort needed for growth or bad discomfort. Either way, I think this is a great conversation. I think we all approach life differently as well
I agree..I'm not married and I have no children. But from around 35 I started to become more aware of my own short comings and from 40 + I then started to think well where did some of them come from🤔 Life is a continuous journey of self discovery.
19:26 yes Glen.
This episode was sent to me by the human I said these words too. Yes they can't see the need oh but I truly can!
I appreciate this podcast because I've never seen a healthy relationship and marriage in real life before. Watching ya'll have definitely been a culture shock but I feel more prepared for the future, so thank you ❤
Wow! ''You have never seen a healthy relationship and marriage in real life before''? WOW! That says a lot about your world/community and your definition of a healthy marriage. All the best in the future. You have the power to create your definition of a healthy relationship since you have plenty of experience with bad ones.
I’m single with no kids. I’ve been married. Being married amplified the things I needed to work on. Being a step mother to a child that we had custody of, put a mirror to my issues with my parents. The underlying reasons are always there. I went to therapy before and after marriage. Two things can be true though. I was aware as a single person but I also had a village.
Many people who need to go to therapy know that they need to yet they are in denial. Most times there rationalization is "this is me and it's just how I am." You don't have to be in a marriage to realize that you need therapy. We are all in community, in various relationships and one doesn't have to have a "wife" or "husband" to identify that/ when therapy may be needed. I'm single and went to therapy for five years. It's simple...admitting that you need help and seeking it out.
Lily so cute her lil face
I been single basically my whole life n I be in therapy. Will I ever get to see if in a romantic relationship it helps idk but we shall see. 🤷🏾♀️
Also, single people have community and are held accountable in those communities. Especially if you’re in a small group. I’ve seen married friends stop being friends with other couples when there’s beef.
I am confused on whether the topic is supposed to be about if therapy pre-marriage would have affected your communication after marriage or about if you would have sought therapy in the case that hadn’t gotten married when you did or at all.
I’m only 17 min. in so maybe you will talk about both! If not, I would be interested to hear about the former in future episodes!
I do think something has to happen to send you to therapy and for me that was grief from the loss of a parent (8 years ago). I started again during the start of the pandemic when I realized I was unsatisfied professionally. I do have friends who challenged me and my perfectionism and how that then shows up in friendships. So I do think it’s possible for the things we already have to drive a person to therapy. And then even more is needed in relationship.
💚💚💚
Lily heard her name....she came to see what s going on.
31:57 💯💪🏾💜
Mehhh yikes. Strong strong disagree on Glenn with this one. Singles definitely seem way more intune with therapy than married couples by a large margin. That was a highly tunnel vision statement. Therapy has been popular to singles wayyyy longer than for married couples or married/divorced individuals. His statement definitely did not sit well with me. All my siblings were in therapy before one got married. Marriage absolutely did not activate my parents to do the therapy they desperately needed but sure as hell made me and my siblings get and still are in therapy because of the toxicity of their marriage.
Married couples do not see how they have been THE primary trigger for singles pursuing therapy. They get comfortable and complacent and really don't want to be accountable for their affect on one another and children more so.