Kotaku Deathwatch: The Onion Has Been Sold!
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- čas přidán 24. 04. 2024
- Kotaku is getting nearer and nearer to "game over." G/O Media has just sold off ANOTHER sister site. This time it's The Onion. How long will Kotaku be able to stay intact? And why can't they seem to crack more than 1,000 video views on CZcams?
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UPDATE: Since posting this, the buyers have been revealed: "The real-life Global Tetrahedron is owned by Jeff Lawson, a co-founder and former chief executive of the technology communications company Twilio. The chief executive is Ben Collins, who was a senior reporter at NBC News until recently."
Will give $55.000000000 dollars. That should be enough zeroes
MORTAL KOMBAAAT!!!
@@ClownfishTV The new Onion owners are keeping current staff. If someone buys Kotaku will they do the same ?
@@ClownfishTV Ehhhhhhhh looks like the current guys are keeping the Onion the same, it looks like we are gonna see two collapses back to back of the same IP
All of gamerdom is watching that sword hanging over Kotaku's head with their popcorn and 3D glasses shouting "Yes! Yes! Yes!".
It turns you don't buy their product.
Oh no how could this possibly happen we could never for see this outcome somehow
No, we're not. That's their problem.
Yep and have their phones set and ready to dial the wahhhmbulance due to the “writers” ready to blame everyone for their job loss but themselves. I don’t feel bad for these woke activists losing their jobs honestly. They deserve exactly what they get honestly. I don’t know how anyone can feel sorry for them, especially when they literally hate you (like most of these awful “news” sites) if you’re conservative or even just don’t like the forced diversity/DEI.
Its almost like when France brought out the national razor.
Alyssa mercante has probably single handedly taken 7-8 digits off of kotakus value
That person being there is not an accident I'm thinking their intentionally there to lower the value so it sells off cheaper.
@@mikecampos1193they can't sell it. Nobody is buying gaming journalism anymore. They are left holding the bag. Everything else was marginally more sellable and potentially profitable.
@@mikecampos1193 It certainly wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened...
@@mikecampos1193indeed downgrade price point
@@Quandry1they could shut it down for cheaper at this rate
The Babylon Bee: 1
The Onion: 0
The Onion sold out long ago.
Facts
When Kotaku gets sold and all their employees laid off, I look forward to telling them to "learn to code".
nah keep them away from all tech.
Learn to Farm
I look forward to telling them "no onions on my Whopper".
Why learn to code. Why not
"Learn a trade"
@@BlueBDHeavens no. Then we'd all starve. 😜
@@whitenekosHell no we don't want those soft insufferable cretins in the trades.
Comedy would be The Onion being bought by The Babylon Bee.
The onion used to be funny. It was this free paper I could find at random restaurants and read while eating when I lived in Chicago. But every single onion article I've seen in the last five years has been so woke I wanted to barf. The babylon bee is what the onion used to be.
I use to grab the onion too when I was in Chicago too. When they stopped that it was a sad day.
Ninja parade....nuff said
Technically the Babylon bee could buy The Onion.
Nope, The Babylon Bee is also pure cringe. You're just too much of an ideological hack to see it.
@AtariDad its way better than the onion now. You should check it out. Must have new writers over the last 2 years. Im sure you arent an idealogue lol
Kotaku's Integrity : 404
Kotaku had integrity?
This is how far out of the loop I am. I thought The Onion died years ago.
I kind of died when they went full in on politics...
They did. The last few years they've been a shambling woke corpse.
it did lol.
Yea idk why these channels are giving these other sites, journos any attention other than "content"
@@AzraelThanatosno it was when they went full in on the TDS
The Babylon Bee outpaced The Onion long ago. The only people I see even use the Onion now is my group of lefty friends that cry way too hard to be funny but never quite stick the landing
The Onion, that brings back memories. Didn't even knew it still existed. The Bee kinda took over as a funny news parody.
Kotaku and IGN are the two headed monster of video game “journalism” and the sooner they go bye-bye, the better.
Oh... *OH!!!* Looks like the doomsday clock for Kotaku is getting closer and closer to midnight...
TWO MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT!
THE HANDS THAT THREATEN DOOM!
*Obligatory Headbanging*
I'll be there to cheer for it! 😊
@@TheBathrobeWizard IRON MAIDEN INTENSIFIES!
Thanos slowing crashing the majoras mask moon while using the time stone to marvel at the impending spectacle.
Nothing of value was lost.
Considering the brilliant Babylon Bee, I'd all but forgotten about the Onion.
(My brother even stars in an Onion video sketch, years ago.)
Still waiting for the day it gets sold &/or shut down. & I got Queens "Another one Bites the Dust" to celebrate.
It would be funny if Babylon Bee was the one that bought the Onion.
Even selling the stuff for scrap would be worthless.
If I suddenly won the lottery, I would buy Kotaku for pocket lint just so I could personally fire the staff that have constantly insulted me
$50 bucks for Kotaku might be a bit much. $25. Unless the chairs are soiled and you can smell the depression then raise it back to $50 bucks.
$50 for Kotaku your overpaying.
If they're getting sold I doubt Kotaku is gonna last. Alyssa Mercante is gonna scream and kick on the way out.
She can go back to working the poles
😂😂😂
@@Corrderio She might have to offer complementary blindfolds to the uh.. customers.
Bye kotaku you won't be miss
L+ratio+skill issue+don't care=kotaku
kotaku += maidenless
"No! Not my precious Kotaku!" - Bellular, probably
The day Goatfakku goes under will be a day of celebration.
“…bring out YER’DEAD…” (boink)
Who is Kotaku??
Thought *The Onion* shut down years ago when the paper was discontinued.
Thank god The Babylon Bee took over that The Onion used to do.
I love it. It's like Kotaku is on deathrow and has to watch everyone get taken away to the execution room because they're last in line.
Kotaku is not worth being traded for a Turkey sandwich.
You might have better odds giving it away bundled with a tofu sandwich >.>
You’d probably have to give them the turkey sandwich to take it off your hands.
Hate to say its probably either China or Vanguard
What?
I remember having Onion shorts in my timeline that were parodies of those reddit story shorts and they were just… weirdly partisan and political. I was wondering why that was the case because I always thought the Onion took jabs at everyone, but now it all makes sense.
last time the onion was relevant was 20 years ago
Why did we allow this?
I know kotaku can’t be the only suspect.
_(The Onion gets sold off for pennies and fades into nothingness)_
Gamers Worldwide: _(in Inagumi Korone's voice) NEXT!!_
Kotaku's doomsday is drawing near.... They can't keep bullcraping their nonsense forever. Their luck is on it's last legs.
And nothing of value will be lost.
I would laugh hysterically if someone like kabrutus is put in charge after it's sold (assuming it gets sold instead of just shuttered.)
It's likely getting shuttered. If Kotaku could be sold it would be by now. Nobody is buying gaming journalism anywhere anymore. We just need to find out when work contracts run out. That's the most likely death clock date.
@@Quandry1 I'm aware, hence the note in parentheses.
Kotaku is like the sad, knock off Crocs lingering as the last item at a garage sale, rotting in the sun, unwanted and exposed as fake. Next stop is the landfill :)
guess we've to peel back the layers abt who the mystery buyers are....
fried onion rings...
#RIPBOZO
Can't wait for The Root to close down. Such racist garbage.
The Root is stormfront for black racists.
The Babylon Bee stays winning
How is Kotaku still around?
The happiest ending for me would be if Alyssa Mercante and her activist minions get a call one morning to inform them that the new owner of Kotaku is the OTK org, and their new boss Asmongold will be contacting them for performance reviews soon.
tick, tick, tick.
🎶And another one Gone, and another one Gone, another one bites the dust!
No matter what bs you hurl, Ms. Mercunte girl, another one bites the dust!
And the Pressure is on, where the game guides gone? Another one bites the dust!🎶
My brain broke for a moment watching this video because i conflated The Onion with The Bee.
The Onion is where i used to go for satire but The Bee was better, and i guess ny brain mapped those 1:1 until now.
I'd offer 2 bits for kotaku, but I see there being a real liability risk that isn't worth it.
The fact that they're selling things but not Kotaku to says that they're trying to sell it as well... But literally nobody wants it.
Years ago, The Onion was terrific.
Those were the days.
No one would take Kotaku for a Crunch bar and a large sized combo hot from Raising Canes, led alone PAY for it. The staff outweighs any worth the company has with how troublesome they are.
The most merciful thing they can do is just dissolve Kotaku entirely. But the current owners are too prideful to ever do that.
Every day Kotaku remains in existence, the worse off humanity is
Kotaku doesn't need to be sold, shut permanently shut down.
Gaming journalism burns.
Nature is healing.
I’m honestly impressed by how Kotaku continues to exists in spite of how completely and totally irrelevant it is.
Wait, "The Onion" was still a thing?
Surprises me that Kotaku hasn't been sold yet. Perhaps the current owners can't find a buyer.
If I was super rich I'd buy Kotaku just so I could personally fire everyone.
5:27 you’d overpay!?! $50 seems high
Can't wait until the Mary Sue goes out of business...
The Onion killed off their humor because it offended a handful of woke idiots on social media. A satirical product that refuses to be humorous. Surprised they lasted this long.
The Onion still has some brand value. Kotaku not having been sold sooner may have more to do with how the brand's value diminishes with every passing week.
Nothing of value will be lost.
I really hope this means the onion will be funny and relevant again.
I think it's awesome that you have more subs than Kotaku
Clownfish: You can't justify a union in the current climate
Europeans: What!?
Kotaku mentioned me in a Tomb Raider article, I was shocked it wasn't in a negative way 🤣
Kotaku is dead, they just don't know it yet.
"The train is fine." -- Kotaku management
After years of hearing Kathleen Kennedy was going to be gone soon, I’ll believe Kotaku has had a mercy killing when i see it.
That sweet "good riddance" moment can't come soon enough.
keep pushing on things that don't matter. Working so well
Make Alyssa Mercante the Chief Editor the day they sell Kotaku. It'd be a hilarious 'good news, bad news' scene for Alyssa.
Kotaku can't go the way of the Dodo quick enough.
The onion should be sold to SNL or Comedy Central or Key and Peele
Kotaku might have more exposure than expected income
They changed their formula. Onion news doesn't look like acual news like it used to
I will take Kotaku off your hands. Not the staff. You can keep them. Just for £3. Take it or leave it.
Fox can't afford Kotaku after paying that sweet $787.5M settlement for lying repeatedly about Dominion.
You mean the thing that will be proven in a year or less and which the media will then try to forget about reporting?
"Con. theorists" are right about 80% of what they say, these days.
I could imagine the ninja gaiden countdown screen where the buzzsaw coming down and its kutaku as the one the blade is coming down on.
Even Ollie's doesn't want Kotaku...
It has been AGES since I have seen The Onion.
Oh well "DONT CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA!!!"
the Onion was so good. Now it will be absolute garbage I bet.
The sword off Damocles in this case is patronage.
I hope The Onion lives on, unlike most G/O properties it is profitable and popular.
if fox bought kotaku i would hope the change the name to kitsune
This is why i think game journos are so on board with the SBI's. They know their days are numbered so they a trying to get brownie points for future employment. After all, they will still be doing their bullying, just behind closed doors.
I wouldn't personally call Kotaku an onion. That would imlpy that Kotaku have layers when they only have one.
I'm not crying, since expired onions cannot make people cry.
It’s been ages since I heard of the Onion.
I used to love the Onion, but then they got nasty and hateful. Loving jabs to one side, and hate-filled invectives to the other.
kotaku died awhile ago its just been on life support from dei money
I’d take Kotaku for tree fiddy
Willing a future where Breitbart buys Kotaku...
Well at least it wasn't the Tetragrammaton Council.
A self inflicted fatal wound.
Reminds me of when Sears sold of its good brands. At least some of their brands were once known as high quality.
Sold for scraps? Is there a toxic waste dump looking for parts?
Not even Ollie's wanted it.
I tried watching that Silksong and ESRB video but now I regret it. My eyes hurt.
If it wasnt for this channel I wouldnt know what Kotaku is.😂
The onion was awesome! 15 years ago!
Get Woke Go Broke. Never fails.