r/AITA My Ex DEMANDED I Buy Her a House
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- čas přidán 9. 07. 2024
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Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:09 Family matters
4:17 Cut off
9:59 Tuition
12:14 Exposed
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
First story.... That EX needs to realize those "vows" ended when her divorce was finalized. It's done, get over it! 😡
And focus on her kids and new bf instead of focusing on what she can’t have. Sounds like she uses the bf for pleasure and the ex for security. Glad that’s ending
Yea really. It's stupid
The husband is sus. Did he currently cheating? Since he didn't put stop to it.
Nah he just stupid
I was actually pleasantly surprised when that line in the story dropped. After all, a vow typically goes "until death" - and not "until divorce".
She needs to move on, yes.
For the last story, the mother definitely should have had an appropriate 1 on 1 conversation with her daughter, where she didn't feel judged. That's traumatizing for someone at that age. Who's trying to navigate her feelings that she's now being shamed for instead of having empathy.
That should come from her mother because we were all teens once.
Am I the only one who feels really bad for the husband in the second story? His mom openly says she'd rather have daughters, she wishes death upon his wife and he even has to physically restrain her until police show up. That guy can't be in a great state of mind right now, so I just hope him and op keep on supporting each other.
Agreed. Being born to an unhinged narcissist has to suck real bad.
Yeah, I think OP is under the impression he's not really talking because he's upset about her cutting out his mom.
I think it's because his mom just said that she blames him for never having daughters. Also, the mom likely said things to him when he drove her home.
@@DoctorOaks She mentioned that in her post, that she doesn't KNOW if it's because of cutting her out or because her words hurt him, because he's not talking yet.
@@kaylawoodbury2308 Yeah, I was just guessing what seemed likely to me.
Then she gave us the update which I listened to after posting this, and he says pretty much that.
No, I feel terrible for the husband in the second story. To have a mother who hates you because you happen to be born the wrong gender must be devastating. Children know when their parent(s) hate them. That is a trauma that never leaves even when you're an adult.
Last story: nah, the daughter gets at least 1.5/5 for snooping on her daughter's phone, showing the grandparents and probably embarrassing her
That’s what I was thinking. I am a bit biased though. I never had any privacy growing up.
Yup, the daughter is trying to find a niche to fill in a good avenue for passive income. It may be weird to some, but it's something.
@@AmusementLabsHuh? The granddaughter is *listening* to ASMR, not making it.
@@horseluver4ever623 ah, I listen to these whole morning prepping, missed that.
@@AmusementLabs no, I understood it the same as you. I might have to relisten later. Either way, I don't think the granddaughter is in the wrong.
imagine totally disrespecting your daughter's privacy, shaming her in front of the whole family, at breakfast at 5 am no less, and then getting upset it backfired. unreal.
teenagers may not be adults, but they _are_ entitled to privacy, and nobody, no matter the age, should get exposed like that for having the most harmless of kinks/curiosities, or whatever you wanna call it. seriously, f helicopter parents.
But sadly I don’t think the lesson got through the daughter’s thick skull. I don’t see her husband growing a pair and make her stop invading their daughter’s privacy. I see daughter going very low contact once she turns 18
Yea that's really dumb
@@lorilancaster5917 not everybody with bad parents goes low contact with their parents at 18 lmao you've watched these videos too much
that last story, the wife is right. if some spicy ASMR is the worst your teen does youre SO LUCKY! a video cant transmit diseases or an accidental pregnancy, drive you to an unsupervised party, or deal you illicit substances between classes.
And it was over ASMR? Does she burn Pokemon cards too?
"ben who's 10"
so...is no one gonna make the obvious reference?
Omg what a GOAT’d comment u legend!
It started when an alien device did what it did. It stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid.
I actually came here to do that. Your subtle comment is soooooo much better. Now take my thumbs up 👍 and good day to you.
It started when an alien device did what it did. It stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid.
Damn I was too occupied taking a shower to notice, thank you for catching it and letting us know 🫡 (im currently watching that show too 🤦🏾♂️)
I've noticed two things about humans:
1. If a thing exists, they WILL attempt to eat it.
2. If a thing exists, they WILL attempt to use it for "naughty purposes".
If a thing exists, they WILL attempt to destroy it aesthetically.
Dude never heard of r34 lmao
@@ConventionallyStupidf34 food pron 😂
Yeah we've had a run on continental cucumbers lately 😅
I saw somewhere recently a guy had an explosive up there
Last story: 0/5 ????
She grabbed her daughters phone, assumingly without permission, at 5AM and then ran to the kids grandparents, playing the audio the kid is listening to in her private time, and then wanted to punish her for having sexual freedom and exploring herself at the age of 15? Nah, that's a solid 2/5 if not more. I'm actually shocked this got a 0, this is insane behaviour.
edit: I do remove the 5AM question bc I understand why you all get up at 5AM and it's fine
"why is everyone awake at 5 am?"
Farmers: are we a joke to you?
My dad woke up at around that time, usually to feed our cat.
I think the mom should get at least 3/5 buttholes since she was looking for a reason to punish her daughter (this seems like the lower tier of abusive behavior).
@@GiordanDiodatoyeah the parents, sure, but why is everyone ELSE awake at 5AM lol and why is the mom going through her daughters phone at this early of an hour (id assume if they all do farm chores they also all eat breakfast but it seems like they didn't bc only the parents were eating breakfast)
"Why is everyone awake at 5am?"
Schools in some areas start at 7AM, and is easier to get dressed, get well fed and have some wiggle time to arrive there if you are up at 5, let alone you can have some bonding time with the family. I know because I did this and I don't live far from the school I used to attend. My dad works in somewhere that is far from home, so he is up at 5AM even though the shift starts at 7AM.
Like, two hours sounds too much if you don't put into account that if you are still sleepy you are slower. With two hours you can bathe properly, eat without rushing, talk to the people around you, check the news, play with your pet and refil the water bowl and feeder (if don't have pets or live alone, extra time to do everything else) and take a long and confortable crap before going early without the worry you'll end up late even if you get some traffic along the way. IDK sounds reasonable to me.
I lived rural and had to get up at 4AM to get ready and do chores before the bus came (mid to late 2000s)@@DeepSlumber
The MiL said "I wanted daughters" when she hoped OP died... She HAD A DAUGHTER, OP. But by being a toxic she lost THREE daughters. She never saw OP as a daughter.
*She never saw OP as a daughter
I guess a daughter in-law didn't count in her eyes.
Nope. OP was just a daughter making incubator. Now that she got what she wanted, she wants OP out of the picture. Now her grand daughters are afraid of her and likely will never see her as a grandmother. She screwed herself big time because now she’s has no one
Most women I know act as if their kids are not really their own responsibility. Most of them would say something like so and so is pregnant with the mans kids, rather than seeing the kids as theirs and as her own. Basically, she wants to pass the obligation off onto someone else. I attribute it to living in a culture that takes males for granted because of always being around; it is so male-dominated and male-centric that people act as if being female makes someone unique and exclusive and exceptional by default and being male means you must spend your life serving some woman just because it is expected by other men who will punish the renegade males. If I were male I would despise other men for this and would be the greatest enemy of the patriarchy.
My mil wanted daughters,and had two sons, and when I married into the family, she treated/treats me like a daughter still.. now 24yrs into the marriage, she is such a great grandma to our daughter&2boys.. she's been a blessing!
Story #2: We know it was you, CHRISTINA!!!! Had me dying 😂😂😂
Sounds like this Christina idolizes or saw nothing wrong with OP's MIL, like she's an aunty's niece or something.
Last story, Violet's Mom deserves 2/5 for shaming and invasion of privacy
Side note:
I am incredibly jealous of OP's relationship with his wife even from just this snippet, sounds like they're amazing together if they can make each other laugh and smile like that
"Who eats breakfast at 5 AM?!"
Congrats on your first encounter with an old person, rslash! 😂
Or people that work early
Or someone with a fucked up sleep schedule.
Ive probably eaten breakfast at each hour of the day at some point in the last 12 years
😂😂😂😂😂
Have some sympathy im only 32!!! 😂😂😂
Myeah, far too many people think breakfast is supposed to be at a specific timeslot in the day because that is what the word is associated with nowadays. But the literal meaning and second use (only correct use in my opinion) of the word is 'break fast' as in stopping the fast you held because you weren't eating a long time between your last meal before bedtime and waking up.
Every meal after you wake up from a long sleep or were unable to eat for a long time for any other reason is breaking your fast. Breakfast. No matter what time of day it happens.
Exposed OP: The best thing our parents ever did when raising my sister and me was to be HONEST about what hellions they were as teenagers. It gave their rules so much more authority because they were able to frame them as a "Trust us, we understand what you're thinking/feeling because we tried it. It wasn't worth the risk."
I never realized how much you’re a part of my morning routine until you were having off timing those couple days. Glad everything’s back to normal. Nobody else reads Reddit posts half as good as you do. You live thru these people 😂❤️
Honestly I stoped watching him and didn’t realize his off timeing for the most part 😂😂
Same 😅
This! Then seeing the on the dot 9 am posts is so nice! We see you boss! Keep it up!
right? hes been part of my morning routine and I'm always looking forward his uplodes for 4-5 years now!
Ikr. It's really been throwing me off, lol. I'm willing to deal with a little inconvenience and inconsistency so rslash and the family can get some quality time away together once in a while, though. 😊💜
Story 2: Hell no NTA. Never let those kids near that beast of a woman again. Glad the husband has been supportive, I kept waiting for him to go full mama's boy.
It sounds to me like she's starting to present the signs that she has something like vascular dementia or Alzheimer's disease.
What's probably going to happen is they cut her off, this triggers a spiral and within two years she's gone. By gone I mean she might be dead, but for sure she will be a hollowed out husk of a person.
It's a horrible condition with warning signs that are vividly clear in retrospect.
If she can’t handle taking care of the kids, perhaps OPs husband should push for full custody and child support? Hopefully after the update he’ll do this and encourage therapy for the kids and only contact his ex through a lawyer or other third party. Lady, your vows are null and void the moment the divorce is finalized.
Who’d want to be a “Mama’s Boy” when his Mom wants daughters and not care about the only child she has right now?
What a scumbag!
@@lorilancaster5917wrong story, but true
I have a theory that the reason she was hoping OP died in the hospital was so she can file for grandparents' rights, which she can file if the OP did actually died, you can file for GPR if one of the spouses die, get divorced or is in prison because of dubious actions
Last story: best case scenario tbh. The granddaughter learns what her mother considers appropriate/inappropriate but ALSO learns that her mother isn’t perfect AND that what she’s been doing is tame enough that her dad and grandparents just think it’s funny. Because of the immediate reaction from the rest of the family, this is an embarrassing teen story instead of a traumatic one, AND when the story gets retold when she’s an adult the embarrassing parts will be about her mom being ridiculous, not on her being a normal teenager.
I was a teen and I worked with teens for years. Grandpa was right and his daughter overreacted. Grandma came in with the clutch there. Violet's mom needs to chill out
Last story; definitely a 2/5 score. Seriously, I can see why the granddaughter would listen to said asmr's. Because her mother practically controls every other aspect of her life to the point that it's unbearable, unhealthy, etc. Those voices are probably the only things keeping her happy.
Story 1: Then the inlaws can sell their house and use it to buy her a place, not to mention covering all of the expenses send this woman does not work. Your husband may have made vows to her that shouldn't matter because they're divorce, but you didn't manage your house anyone that has a problem with that can go screw themselves.
And your husband need to stop trying to stay out of it and put his foot down, he doesn't want to be the bad guy either way so he trying to keep his mouth shut but that's not how it works.
Update: honestly what were you expecting of course she trying to gaslight the hell out of both of you, if she wins she gets a free house. Ignore her she'll be back people like this always come back no matter how much you don't want them to.
I'm certain he was being quiet for the sake of his kids. OP didn't clarify why he left his ex and how that relationship ended. But I'm guessing it wasn't an amicable split based on the exes behavior and it would taken a lot out their children. Now this is not me saying the husband is doing the right thing by being quiet, quite the opposite and you are totally correct that he needs to put his foot down because this is not only going to affect his own children, but also his wife and stepchild too.
Her issue is her husband. Weak little thing
1st Story New Dynamic: _“Am I my Spouse’s Ex Keeper?”_ . Since when was this included in wedding vows?😂
You'd be surprised at how entitled people are🤦🏾♀️
Story 4: I wonder what she meant by…oh it's just ASMR noises that is probably borderline NSFW, and OP's daughter thought it was a good idea to show it to everyone else as an attempt at scolding.
I mean, I can see why OP's daughter would be upset, but this is just weird.
OP’s daughter is gonna end up wondering why her kid no longer trusts her after this
Admittedly, if it's the mouth sounds ones, those could DEFINITELY sound a bit smutty. Combine with some scenes in certain YA or college age novels and boom. Instant indirect "adult entertainment". But that's what my bookwormy butt would've done at that age.😅
Story 2: That’s so sad that the MIL just can’t stop emotionally hurting her family. First she neglects her son and probably blames him for not being able to have daughters of her own. Now she gives her youngest granddaughter separation anxiety due to her jealousy of OP having daughters instead. Lady should have gotten help years ago, but I guess jail time is the next best thing.
The final story, like seriously, when I was a teenager, my friends and I hung out together and had a gay fanfic bookclub. We were reading thing we /seriously/ shouldn't have been reading, but it so was much better than sneaking out to do drugs or get pregnant, so if we wanted to sit in a park after school and talk about fictional gays, our parents were more than happy. 😂 The fact that none of us are straight now is just a coincidence I swear (maybe there's a correlation to why we were drawn to these kinds of fanfic but shhh)
Yeah...
That moment you realised that your parents are punishing you for gay thoughts and video games...
But if you were going around being an alcoholic, sexist fuckboy... They'd be proud?
That when you know, that contact with them is unhealthy!
Well…I actually eat breakfast at 5am! When your work day starts at 7, it’s common.
But great selection of stories. The monster-in-law in the second story really takes the cake.
I used to eat breakfast around 4-5am, when my work would be either from 6am or 7am, depending when the factory i work at would be busy, early start and some overtime when it's busy...
Last story. In my opinion the daughter deserved 3/5. It was a powerplay to embarrass her daughter in front of her family And make her out to be some kind of pervert. My mom did the same thing to me. She either doesn't like her daughter or her daughter Did some kind of slight against her mother, which in her mind warranted a public shaming. And personally, I wish they had those ASMR videos when I was a teenager. 😅
Story 3: NTA. She doesn't get to treat you like trash then demand money. Flush her.
Story one: OP needs to say, “NO!” Hope husband continues to stand his ground. If not, OP needs to run for the hills. She can dump the husband and keep the house. Couples counseling would be smart to keep that from happening.
Ah fuq man... when I heard about the 6-year-old being anxious when she's away from mommy almost had me crying
second story. as someone who was taught to be horrifically terrified of death, that is NEVER an okay thing to say to a child. ever. i live everyday fearing the death of my family members, by even the most outrageous reasons. i can't stop it, it ruins my day.
For you and anyone else who feels this way: respecting death is healthy. Fearing death to the point it ruins your day, or you can't stop thinking about it, is a sign that something is wrong. You don't have to live that way, and you can seek help.
"He made vows to me before you!"
Its good to know she understands how time works, but it's funny she throws this out when she, herself, has a boyfriend. Even if they were still together, that's not how that works 🤡
I am SOOO GLAD Rspash has seemingly started to look for updates to posts he reads for AITA. Always found it really annoying that he’d read a story which I know has a crazy or interesting update that might be in the posts profile but doesn’t read it because it’s not in the actual subreddit. glad he’s starting to do it and keep it up!
Story 3: she wanted nothing to do with you and made your daughter's life a living hell just for existing in her father's life. She doesn't get to expect you to give her anything and neither does your husband.
Stepdaughter either got her toxic behavior from her own mom or she's crazy and sees OP and her daughter as a threat. Either way, Emma is garbage.
Maybe I misunderstood the relation ships but is the father who died also Emma's dad or is that from a different guy cause if so she's kinda the butthole
@@dylannoonan640Emma’s dad is OP’s current husband.
And usually an inheritance is meant to be used to enrich the lives of the surviving spouse and the child(ren). OP was under no obligation to use her funds to pay for stepson’s college but she did because he was awesome. Emma deserves nothing
@@melissaconnellyjones2622 oh then no not the asshole at all that money isn't even from her dad
As someone who’s been listening to asmr role plays for years now (Some wholesome and semi- inappropriate) I can feel the second hand embarrassment from that last story💀
Same and honestly I'd rather have a teen listen to those than watch adult movies
Yeah honestly, the ASMR is so mild but it'd be so embarrassing to have it exposed for me at least.
@@spoopyvirgil4944100% agree. I don’t need my mom spewing in laughter while telling another family member that I listened to my favorite fictional character telling me I’m pretty 😭😭
@@Blank.k.k.0 Literally. There's this one guy who does VRChat hair brushing ASMR and I don't need people finding that I enjoy being called pretty and handsome while also listening to hair brushing noises (I dunno why the hair brush sets off the happy chemical but it does).
Same 😅
1: When husband told OP about ex's idea, OP should have responded with something like, "What did she say when you told her that she's crazy if she actually thinks that's going to happen?" That right there would have told the husband that #1 it's so incredibly stupid that you better not even DARE try to support it =and= #2 he better tell his ex that ASAP. Of course, if it had been me in that situation, I would have responded to OP with, "I didn't ask, I was trying not to bust out laughing in her face."
2: If MIL had said that IF OP dies that they (the girls) could live with her, while it still would have been a terrible thing to say, at least it wouldn't have been wishing for OP to die. That was just terrible. With that update, the battle lines have been drawn, and I wonder who else is going to suffer being an outcast.
3: OP needs to give her husband a reality check if he thinks that OP should pay for Emma's tuition after the way she's treated OP and her daughter. That's just stupid. Also, it's not just OP who has a problem with Emma. Based on OP's comment about the brother being the "best older brother out there," it might be because he finally had a younger sister he could get along with and bond with, so he enjoys doing things like taking her to places to have fun and other things that siblings like to do together. Emma needs this harsh wakeup call. If she's nasty to other people, she's going to have a rough life, and the sooner she isn't pampered despite being a witch, the sooner she'll learn to be careful who she is mean to in the future.
4: OP's daughter deserves a BH score of at least 1/5. Bad enough to scold her for listening to an ASMR style steamy romance story when it's not outright porn, but to make sure the daughter has an audience? Wow.
I honestly would have given the daughter of OP at least 0.5 because she did look through her daughter's phone, most likely without permission. Wether she just randomly stumbled upon the ASMR on the screen, or if she actively searched through the phone could shift the score up to 2.5, imo
Any and All vows he made to the ex became null and void with their marriage ending. It's called a packaged deal.
Last story: From what R/ is saying this is just sexy talk, relaxing but exciting sexy talk. So what she's 15, unless she's talking to someone on the internet there no reason to be concerned at all.
And it's a good thing you ruined this for your daughter, because how in the hell is this something any parent would think this is good to do to their kid. Yeah go ahead and tell them about all the stuff she does in her private time in front of her father and grandparents, that's not the perfect way to ensure your child never talk to you ever again. I feel so bad for your granddaughter if this is the kind of mom she had to deal with.
My guess to why she tried to get mad at you and not Grandma, is because she's knows not to f*** with her mom or that her mom won't care and thought you were easier to mess with.
The second story... Wow. Can you imagine having somebody like MIL around where she hates her only child because he happened to be born the wrong gender. Then when she has grandchildren and they happen to be girls, she becomes a danger to them because she doesn't recognise that she is just the grandmother. She probably hated OP for a long time and then when she was in a terrible car accident, she pounced on those children because she felt she had a chance to be their mother (when that wouldn't have happened since OP's husband would still be there).
The fact that she escalated and went storming over to OPs house and said that they weren't going to take away 'HER GIRLS' goes to show how terrible she is. She's a wolf in sheep's clothing. She played make belief pretend with OP and finally showed her true colours when she knew that her fantasy wasn't coming true. OP and her husband need to keep this woman as far away from their children as possible.
Parents freaking out and punishing their adolescent kids for having sexual interests is not only hilariously out of touch but also literally abusive.
The first story is bonkers.
The second story is even more bonkers. No contact is the only way to go. That was horrible. That update was crazy.
Third story, no not at all, OP was completely justified. Her ungrateful behind can kick rocks.
Fourth story is just plain hilarious.
Daughter in the last story: Tries to publicly shame OP's granddaughter for effectively listening to soft core prawn
RSlash: 0/5 buttholes
C'mon man that's at least 1 to 2, I'm hoping the daughter knocks that shit off, it's a good way to give your kid a complex over that stuff.
Story 2: you know maybe it's a very good thing that all of this happened, I mean obviously I wish your daughter didn't have to see that but now you all know what a terrible person and toxic this lady is, and she just scared her grandkids out of ever wanting a relationship with her.
I kind of wish that the cousin commented on that last update though, I just would love to see her try and fail to talk her way out of it.
Gotta love when people say "you don't need all that space"
Like lol thats not your call cope n seethe
Story 1: "Some of my in-laws says I'm just being selfish, and don't need such a big house anyway."
Oh, if they think OP is selfish for refusing to sell her house, then why don't THEY DO IT?! If they are that concerned and think that was selfish, then why don't they sell their house to help her out? Sometimes it's not people like the ex-wife that pisses me off, it's the people still somehow defending her actions that angers me. NTA.
In fact, I bet the husband's silence suggests something along the lines of:
"I'm so exhausted over this vicious cycle..."
Poor guy
When I read the "THEY DO IT" part, I couldn't help but hear rSlashes voice X3
@@rossjohnstone4689 "WHY DON'T THEEEEEEEY DO IT?!"
I hear it too.
People always accuse you of being “selfish” when a) you don’t do what they want you to do, no matter how outrageous the ask or b) when they’re asking you to do something that they themselves refuse to do.
It always hurts when a parent says something like what OP's husband's mom said to him. It makes it worse when you consider that parents who say stuff like that will say it and then act like it doesn't really mean anything or like it can be easily forgiven, if at all. When I came out to my mom as nonbinary, she said "I will never accept you", "I don't want to understand you", and "I wish I died in the hospital when giving birth to you". I'm in therapy cuz that messed me up a lot. She still wonders to this day why I don't ever wanna talk to her or do stuff with her and tries to make me feel bad about it too. I feel like the grandma probably would try to do similar tactics if they keep her in their lives. Def has to go.
My mother would straight up laugh into my face after canceling my therapist appointment.
And still believes to this day that these therapists were absolute morons for implying that She might be the reason I needed the appointments...
But honestly it never hurt, this was just normalcy...
If it hurts, at least you still have feelings...
That last story was wholly embarrassing for the granddaughter, cause why the hell would you show everyone in the house that?? Like this is just going to further push the granddaughter to keep things away from her parents if she’s just going to blow-up like this 🤨 like it’s so weird that parents forget they were once teens and they forget all the changes they went through to become adults
"Why don't we just build a new house to compensate for the one we've to sell?"
Well, for starters, good luck having the profits outweigh the costs! XD
Or, and hear me out. The husband takes the kids full time, the child support spigot is turned off and maybe then the lazy old sow will have to drag her fat arse out of the house and find a damn job.
Story 4: Imagine treating someone like a sack of crap then getting mad when said person refuses to pay for your tuition is beyond entitled and delusional. Sounds like a future story on r/entitledparents in the making
You mean story 3
The last story is hilarious 😭😭 that kid did nothing wrong and OP stood up for her (in a sense) so I say nta on that one
Who eats breakfast at 5 am? I do and my husband does. Actually we usually eat breakfast before that. He starts work at 5 am
My mom and I eat breakfast at 5am. Then again, we have to be at work by 6, so it makes sense for us.
The husband in story 2 is lucky his mom didn't take the Sleepaway Camp route.
😂 gee thanks now I have knife wielding, full frontal, unhinged growling mental images. I haven’t had enough coffee for that yet 😂
THAT'S WHY ANGELA KILLED HIM!!! HE FOUND CAPTAIN WINKY!!!
@@TitanWar93 ^ fucking this!
Good to see the husband supporting OP in story 2 and that the off mood wasn’t from motherly manipulations.
It’s a shame that his own mother didnt really want a son and that’s its own can of worms he needs to sort out with support from Op now.
I feel so sorry for the husband and op's daughters in the story. And how else was anyone supposed to take "i hope your mother doesn't survive?" Is she going to go the route? "Oh no, i meant I'll be there for my family if the mom doesn't make it"?
While i was writing this, the grandma is insane. First she says she wish she had a daughter instead, then tries to attack the family? Why?
I also had to mute the ASMR part because they make me feel uncomfortable and kick in my fight or flight response. Its also annoying because CZcams keeps recommending me the inappropriate ASMR videos just because i listen to music.
Last story: At least the daughter is listening to borderline inappropriate ASRM, she could have been watching some hardcore stuff instead.
And it’s always weird to see Parents lose their cool when their Children are watching/listening to something they would have also listened as a teenager.
Does anyone else also feel extremely bad for the Husband in the 2nd story?
I certainly do. Man is having a rough time right now and it sounds like his childhood had a lot of emotional neglect or that, at the very least, he's ended up with a lot of unresolved issues and feelings from how his mother treated him. Plus his wife was in a serious accident and his crazy mum managed to make it way worse. I'm glad he has OP and their kids and that he's gonna get therapy. Hopefully he can start to heal, well away from his momster
PPl who wake up for breakfast at 5am: Insulation companies, farmers, people who live VERY far away from school.
I used to work for an Insulation company whose working hours started at 6am. Earlier if we had to go to a different city, such as the Sue.
I live in Ontario, Canada
It’s disgusting how the husband is being silent instead of telling his ex to piss off
Notice how she want's him and the new wife to shoulder all the load but not take the kids? She knows what side her bread is buttered on, if the kids go to the ex husband she will lose her child support and have to pay him.
I know and OP has to push him to grow a spine.
Okay. Granny story with "i hope she dies" is messed up no matter how badly you always wanted a daughter
My granny (RIP) had 3 boys and her first two grandkids were also boys. Then I came along. She was over the moon when I was born and she dressed me up all the time because she never had a little girl in her life to bond with. Had she needed to take me during an emergency she would have done it in a heartbeat but my granny had a heart of gold and would NEVER say something as horrible as "i hopw your mom dies so you can stay with me"
I don't care how badly you wanted a daughter or how close you are with your grandkids. Nothing warrants saying the phrase "i wish your mom would die" to a small child when they're already upset and scared!
I’m sorry for your loss
The granny for sure has dementia.
stealing your kid's phone and going through it to find things to publicly humiliate her over is a good way to destroy all trust your kid has in you. she doesn't need to be listening to weird NSFW ASMR videos on youtube, nor does she need to be bullied by her own family. she needs a sit-down conversation about what she is going through. puberty is a shithole for everyone
LOL at the last story...
Gotta say...punishing a teenager for something as tame as slightly raunchy AMSR is laughably naive.
to the OP of the first story:
Babygirl the next time she throws the "he said his vows to me before to you", throw back with "yea well you're divorced so your wedding vows are null and void."
*First OP:* I'm with rSlash on this: what am I reading?! OP's husband's ex _has_ to be doing this to make OP snap and divorce her husband. That's the only logical explanation I can think of. OP is NTA.
At least OP's husband grew a spine in the end.
*Second OP:* OP's MIL said she hoped OP wouldn't survive the crash. How _else_ could OP have taken it?! And how was OP's husband not offended by his mom saying she only wanted daughters (unless he was, and was not outwardly expressing it). Plus, OP's MIL said that to OP's _kids_ (one of them being 6)! OP is NTA. She should contact the kids' schools to let them know not to let the MIL pick them up.
So the husband _was_ upset about the MIL only wanting daughter's. Poor guy. And poor girl for hearing her grandma saying she hoped OP d1ed _and_ for witnessing the altercation in the update. She needs all the therapy.
*Fourth OP:* Sorry, what happened? I dosed off for a second there. 😛
While OP didn't mean to laugh at his wife's remark he (and his wife (and his son-in-law)) _did_ undermine OP's daughter's authority as a parent. I'm not sure why OP's daughter was looking through Violet's phone, so if Violet did something to make OP's daughter lose trust in her, then OP is (unintentionally) TA. If not, then ESH.
After hearing rSlash's verdict, I realize that my take might be controversial. I'm sticking by it.
First Story:
If you have documented evidence such as text messages of her saying that she can't take care of the kids because of her health, you should go to a judge, sue for primary custody, and she can get weekend visitation.
Lol
First & stories : definition of the word UNHINGED…. I had a neighbor say “I should tell (her husband’s name) ‘Shoot me!’” TO MY FACE when I was a little kid (under 10 years old) so I know unhinged MONSTERS when I hear about them!
Second story: NTA. Grandma got a one way ticket to the suckiest elderly home there is.
Had a grandmother similar if not even worse than one in second story. It leaves a mark. OP made the best call there is.
Man, at 15, my whole friend group was trading around smut books... fluffy ASMER is so tame 😂
Story2 "She never had daughters of her own and ours are like real daughters to her," coupled with telling the 6 yr old that she hoped op died is a dangerous combo. Someone like that might develop ideas of how to make her happy little family fantasy a reality. Be DAMNED if I'd be anywhere around that woman or let her around my kids. She could trip or even poison Op while turning her girls against her.
It may sound far-fetched, but it really isn't.
* "She came to our house screaming that we can't take her daughters from her." That right there is exactly what I was talking about. Given time and access, she would have those girls or die trying.
As someone who sometimes has to clock into work at 6 am: I do, I eat breakfast at 5 am.
Otherwise Home Depot won't be ready for shoppers.
Story 4:
RSlash: Who eats breakfast at 5 am?!
Me (eating at 3:30 am on weekdays): Sure sounds like they slept in.
It's frankly disturbing to us that this disgusting woman in Story 2 would RATHER have her daughter in law DIE so she can TAKE the grandchildren as her own....
Instead of just experience the delight of having a daughter... WITH HER DAUGHTER IN LAW!
The woman got what she wanted... A daughter...
But instead of cherishing that, she wished DEATH upon it!
Legitimately disturbing!
She's the kind of human, that uses "blood is thicker than water" without understanding the full quote.
She's incapable of feeling love, not just towards her DIL but also het own Son or anyone...
The reason she wants daughters, is because they only exist in her "perfect" fantasy.
Were they're most likely her slave maidens, that happily do everything for mommy.
She only behaves "civil" towards her son, because she actually believes she has to...
Last story, bruh, I've read worse when I was 15, the daughter should be glad that that's all the granddaughter is doing. I'm sure if I went back in my AO3 history to when I was 15, I have way worse stuff in there. Same with wattpad. Like, that's just how teenagers are
Last story:
OP’s daughter should be very grateful that there isn’t anything bad on her daughter’s phone. At 15 she’s just finding out about herself and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Rslash: Who eats breakfast at 5 am?
Me, a college student who has to commute for 2 hours to attend 8 am classes:
🤚🤚
First story: NTA. This woman wants to have her new cake (the boyfriend) and also keep her old cake (OP's husband) and eat them both. If the husband takes her side in the slightest is time to run before they sell the house behind OP's back.
With the update: Thank god OP's husband is sane. Also, I have the huge feeling that she is internacionally getting sick to manipulate everyone trough looking pathetic.
When my kid was 12, my husband and I told him that he's too young to look at porn but that we were kids once too and know kids get curious. We told him not to look up people his age, and how that if he found anyone being advertised as under the age of 18, they were abuse victims and that even looking them up could land his dad and/or I in jail. We then told him some safe sites, and that he legally should not be looking at any of it until he's 18, but that we'd rather his curiosity not get him viruses.
We've always been very open about the sex conversation. He has had crushed on girls in the past, expressed no interest in boys, and once hitting highschool decided he'd rather focus on having fun with his buddies and his studies than romantic relationships. I like to think that a large part of this is because he doesn't feel the need to explore because he has access to any knowledge he could possibly want and so he can work about relationships if and when he finds someone, instead of trying to fill that void with whomever will take him, like I did. Don't get me wrong, my parents did a great job teaching, but the way they handled sex both have me a severe shyness about it, and made me prefer exploring to learning. I always felt like I _neeeeeeeeded_ a boyfriend and I'm convinced that was the root cause of being in so, _so_ many abusive relationships.
I love to have updates on these stories. I’d love to have them in every AITA post
story 1: narcissistic ex-wife trying to control everyone with her own narration.
story 2: narcissistic MIL trying to control everyone with her own narration (and terrible wishful thinking)
story 3: narcissistic step daughter trying to control OP because she believes that shes entitled to OP's money.
story 4: no narcissistic people, whew.
One thing about narcissists, they have NOTHING reasonable to say when you criticize them because they just instantly stop listening when it happens. It's useless.
Yea and that's really infuriating
Grandma in last story didn't take bs at 5 am during her breakfast.
Also for the mom: 1.5 /5 for snooping. Chill the hell out helicopter. If I was that teen I'd be like ok, take my phone but during the punishment I'll be downstairs with gran-grans listening what kind of teen you were.
Yup, and I'd share all that info with anyone who would listen.
Last story: I'd have said OP's wife was the AH, but their daughter brought them into this in an attempt to humiliate her kid and it backfired. Now she knows how it feels to be embarrassed in front of the family and maybe won't resort to that tactic in the future. OP's daughter was completely the AH and I hope she learns her lesson and doesn't do this in the future given she has a pretty good kid if ASMR videos (on youtube no less) is the worst thing she's into.
First story: love how the ex-wife called OP immature yet blocked them when she didn’t get the answer she wanted
Last story: I'm not into ASMR but I would listen to Rslash explaining what it is about with that ASMR voice :D
The middle parent in the last story completely deserves a butthole score, 3/5, im not tollerant of this kind of stupid behaviour thats infected a generation. If the kid is well behaved and hasn't been giving cause for concern (as OP is stating), why the hell is she checking her phone? All it does is make the kid feel unsafe and resentful. When are parents gonna learn that doing things like this *causes* the behaviours they're trying to avoid?!
I can attest as I was one of those kids. I was always one of or the good kid, but then I started talking about my mental health & my mom didn't like that because "Depression is just a mind set" and other bullshit beliefs like that. She started checking my phone, which made me lose trust in her & made me feel unsafe & I started looking to others for safety & to vent about my mother which led to me getting into abusive relationships outside my mother. Surprise, surprise, my mother was abusive, but I didn't figure that out on my own
I, *_OUT LOUD,_* said *_"BRUH!"_* when the daughter said her grandmother wanted the mom dead.
My grandmother was also a peice of work.
We were coming back from a day out and we got side swiped by another driver. eventually my mum got a blood clot in her head and were in hospital for months. I was 8 and my bro was 11 and the one time my dad had to leave us with our peternal grandmother, we were told;
"You are the reason your mothers going to die!"
Even as kids we knew this was a lie, the accident caused it, but dad didnt want us to see her in intensive care, and we missed her... My dad never let us go back, once we both started crying in the car on the way home... insted, my dad's dad stepped up and looked after us for months, even though to him, I didnt exist, being a girl, and he hated my mum.
Only my peternal grandad was okay, but only okay because he just didnt care if we were there or not.
Ah... the silent generation, long may they rest in peace XD
“Who eats breakfast at 5am”
Hey I don’t tell you how to live your life! 😂 (kidding, much love!)
For the second story, it's kind of morbidly satisfying to see that the family made the right choice. They cut off the MIL and then she immediately proved that that was the right decision. No ambiguity, no regrets(other than maybe not doing so sooner).
RSlash the privilege you have of not having to eat breakfast at 5am. Anyone with a baby that feeds early, has an early morning job, early school drop off, or has a long commute may have to get up and eat that early. You're privileged to work from home.
I was wondering why he thought eating breakfast at 5 was weird. Guess that makes sense.
Wow, the mom in the last story is awful. The sole reason she wanted to punish her daughter was because SHE felt embarrassed. The daughter did nothing wrong, hurt noone, just listened to some asmr in her free time. They say she's a quiet and well behaved kid, but if she's constantly controlled like that, she's bound to get frustrated and act out someday. Why on earth would you steal your kid's phone when they're behaving perfectly well?
Big ew. Thank GOD that mom got humbled.
Yea that's so dumb
That last story. The mom of the 15 year old gets AT LEAST 3/5 BHs....at LEAST! Snooping and violating her trust and privacy for absolutely no reason. THEN running in and confronting her about what she found in front of god and everyone just to embarrass her and THEN trying to scold her for....what exactly? Being a teenager? Listening to something mildly suggestive? I could go on all damn day about why thats unreasonable tbh. Like moms gotta grow up and accept that her teenager is a teenager
Exactly this, and when Violet moves out and goes no contact, her mom will feign ignorance and pretend to be a victim. 😒😒
So, with the second update on Story 2, did anyone else catch that MiL was referring to OP's daughters as "her daughters"? The woman is delusional, she clearly views her grandchildren as her actual children.
For the second story with everything that happened, I’d probably get a restraining order against the grandma she is absolutely insane and is most likely a psychopath with 0 empathy. Like seriously who does that… I feel bad for the husband just imagine how his life growing up was with her as his mother and everything he must have felt having all of that revealed to him… must’ve been really eye opening for him.
First story: I wonder if OP husband's ex really didn't got over her relationship with him, but instead didn'r got over the financial support he gave her. The fact she's been unemployed for 15 years, and refused any other compromise that wasn't OP selling HER OWN HOUSE and getting the ex-wife a fully new one;
That sounds to me more like she wants to keep her ex-husband and OP paying for all her stuff and doing all her work, while keeping the kids near because she obviously can't use them to get OP and her husband's financial support if they aren't with her as leverage
“Who eats breakfast at 5AM”
Well…..me. I start work at 7AM, so…..
Damn
I eat breakfast at 5am. Breakfast is just a word for "first meal of the day" and I dont have a normal sleep schedule.
I wanna say one thing to the In-Laws of the first story. "THEN, YOU DO IT"
I never been the one to like asmr but wen you started whispering I started to relax 😅 mixed feelings rn😂
You know, parents punish their kids for things they themselves did as kids
Last story. Not sure I agree with giving the daughter zer0 b-holes. I mean shaming her own daughter like that in front of her grandparents... No.
If it was about Smokes of Weed I'd get it. But doing like that about something that's both harmless and private feels wrong. That daughter has the making of a helicopter parent if she's not careful.
Yeah, definitely a mom that Violet isn't going to want to ask safe questions. And heaven forbid she is gonna want to explore, I swear, some people forget that the alternative is another human being 'helping' her explore. 🤮
The mom in the last story reminds me of my mother lol. The only difference was that she freaked out about it despite the fact that I was either 18 or 19 at the time.
She snooped to my aunt because she's strict about religion and thought that she would scold me, but my aunt was just like "Ok? Teenagers do that."