r/AITA My Wife Went CRAZY and Put Me in the ER
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:07 ER
3:38 My daughter
5:47 Fun sized
8:22 Expensive car
12:12 F off
14:38 Not it
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
“All boobs are fun-sized because all boobs are fun.”
Based, my guy👍🏾
Guess we know if Dabney is a boob or a butt guy. 😂
that’s not based, that’s just simple facts.
Boobs are fun until they hurt your back. I speak from experience. But they’re still great 😂 I like mine and others of all sizes.
I’m thinking Op couldn’t win in this situation. Hopefully they can talk things out after she cools down.
As a woman, facts.
There is update to first story: - Op and his daughter are safe
- Op wife never had an anger issues and throwing stuff but she had a depression and anxiety and takes meds for this.
- Op and his daughter had a talk with a wife, currently they are staying at his sister place and op told his wife she needs to see a doctor like yesterday for what she did.
- Op listened reddit and he will stay with his wife for now, but he said is she did this again he will divorce her.
Thanks for the update but I’m upset that he didn’t leave her.
Thanks👍
This is so sad. What do they say? " A moment of anger can erase decades of love"
I hope OP stays safe and that staying with his wife is what he wants to do.
I would understand why he would leave if he did.
But I also understand that leaving a 20 year relationship, that loving and safe before this, isn't an easy task. I'm glad he has an exit plan if his wife refuses to get help.
Had the roles been reversed, OP would be behind bars...
This reminds me of a story of a WWII vet who almost killed his wife in his sleep, because of PTSD. They ended up happily married for the rest of their lives after the fixed the problem. All they really needed was to sleep in separate rooms.
I'm going through peri-menopause and I can say 110% that I've never put my husband or loved ones in the ER.
Me too. We’re going through a weird time, but that wife’s behavior is extreme. She’s on meds, but clearly it’s not enough.
Yeah she needs to be put in a psych ward@@keiceenaim1988
If you had PMDD maybe? I have a series of diagnoses where I can't always control my actions but it's my job to get help and get medicated and I'm certainly responsible if I hurt someone.
Maybe she has more stuff going on, but op does not have to put himself and the kid at risk for that
Same, never would I hurt my man or kids bc of my effed up hormones, menopause sux!
First story: NTA. Menopause or not, she did what she shouldn't do. She even crossed the line of legallity.
yeah if this was normal for menopause, I'm sure it would be common knowledge, just going by the kinds of insane things that used to be "common knowledge" but turned out to be complete hogwash.
I’ve never known menopause to stop a woman from making her own coffee. For his sake and for his daughter’s, he needs a RO and a divorce.
Funfact: When it had been the worst I had a special set of mugs I could throw. Was cathartic. ^^
@@lorilancaster5917 He made an update. People on his post convinced him to forgive her because it was a “one time mistake”. Also we’re not allowed to criticize those double standards because if we do that makes us “incels”
@@MrDoverfieldI’m curious to know the mindset of those encouraging forgiveness. She’s only sorry when she saw the ramifications to her actions. If she was sorry, she would’ve tried nipping her attitude in the bud when the pattern was noticed that she was lashing out without warrant. Regardless that daughter doesn’t need to be near her mom
Story 1: quickest NTA I think I've ever given abuse is abuse full stop no ifs or buts regardless of gender, age or condition.
you were IMMEDIATELY on that, videos not even half way done 😭
@fantaguyrealDude, get a life. If you’re trying to get more people to your channel, this is a good way to get ensure that WON’T happen
@@Merry99745 male's being victims of abuse is a big thing of mine especially when it goes unnoticed or the attacker goes unpunished (that did happen to me once), its a crime that's being silenced due to sexism
If the roles were reversed, the man would have been led out in cuffs...
Femcels on Reddit: Have you tried groveling at her feet and getting to root the issue? If she abuses you she probably had a good reason
Story 6: I mean, SIL did say that "Men are providers," and OP isn't a man, so what did she expect? And that's not mentioning being a judgmental bully.
You don't bite, scratch, and even slash a hand and then expect it to feed you, that's not how it works
I was waiting for someone with this comment lol the audacity is wild to me
My husband is first generation Mexican-American, it’s very normal for those comments in Mexican culture and on our first thanksgiving together my husband got really upset with me for not serving him his food, then quickly realized that it wasn’t his own thoughts and feelings, but the culture he was raised in that taught him that. I’m not giving any excuses for the SIL, but it is common for the culture to be like that.
There was an update to the first story: OPs wife is going to attempt to get her medicine readjusted and OP and them are trying seperation/couples therapy before they go through with the divorce. Best of luck to them both.
Hope best for them, together or not
Story 2: I feel this would also spill out into the daughter’s school life, as her mother might be just as cagey if their girl starts to develop crushes or even just make friends with boys. If they don’t nip this behavior in the bud, she’s gonna grow up with an even worse distrust of men
Or the opposite and be the perfect victim in her teenage years. I'm more worried about the boys though, she's 100% going to be making false accusations.
Not to mention she's implying her husband is a diaper sniper.
The dead son story: I would have to tell my brother that he had better get that woman out of my house before we needed to get a medium to speak to her as well.
Why does this actually go kinda hard?
I completely agree with you, though, I'd tell my brother that if that was done again, that he'd need a new medium.
Same
On "Fun Sized"
I know from experience a joke you'd normally find funny sometimes just...hits wrong. It doesn't even have to have been a particularly emotional day for it to do so, it just does. I'm glad they both managed to discuss the aftermath and apologized to each other
Considering “fun sized” is marketing slang to push undersized versions of a product, one should realize it would be taken as an insult.
I am a member of the itty bitty titty committee and I laughed at fun sized myself. But I was never bullied for it by people I knew, just the media/marketing. Jokes can land or flop. I agree, no AHs here. I’m glad both apologized and are communicating because that’s what makes a relationship work. He apologized for hurting her feelings, not the joke, as is proper. She apologized for not communicating why she was upset and leaving, not for being upset. Which is also healthy. I hope they are happy!
@@qdllc I honestly have never heard of that. On the contrary, the huge family-size bags are the ones marketed as 'fun-size', or 'Xtra fun', or something.
as a girl who was bullied at one point about my chest to the point i bought bee vitality i can say fun sized is pretty funny and it actually was more fun with a smaller chest 🥲 you don't have to hold your chest going down the stairs or while jumping and no back pain or stretch marks
@@qdllc I'm not saying it can't be an insult. But I think it was clear from the relationship dynamic
A: it was a joke and
B: the type of joke they often use with each other in tbe relationship (even if it was tbe first time it, specifically, was actually used)
My experience is that me and my partner tease each other a lot. I might say something like "I want you to do x" they'll go "nobody cares" and I'll be like "I care" and they'll say "nobody important, then" and normally it's fine, but one instance just hit wrong and upset me and I have no idea why.
INSTANT NTA, doesn’t matter how old you are or what gender you are, you do not have to stay with an abuser.
Story 4: Dude can live in his new car then.
He would definitely regret the trade in if he has to sleep in his car. As you know Corvettes are only two seaters
@@lorilancaster5917Maybe they can trade the corvette for a minivan, removing the backseats will make room for a mattress.
@@roevhaal578and room for his audacity
"I can feel his presence!"
"I can help you make contact ... for three easy payments of $99.99"
Absolutely selfish and vile, she wanted to leverage the death of their son, for attention.
Sorry honey, psychic powers, tarot cards, contacting spirits, that's all uneducated childish nonsense. (I know this will piss some people off, but rip off the bandaid and realize it's mumbo jumbo)
No, in this case they were probably just doing it for attention, which probably makes it worse.
For attention or for money, I lost my cat recently, Feb 14 and if someone said "I can feel her presence" to me I would be so pissed off at them just for emotional manipulation I'd probably tell them to F*** OFF because even though she died in my arms, it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that she is gone and not just lurking around the house somewhere.
Exactly, I don't need to platform/humor anyone's delusional super powers after my son died.
I want to feel ... my palm ihn your face ... - simple answer.
Story 5: heart wrenching is an understatement.
The “fortune teller” definitely should have approached in private.
But that's not what they do. They get you when you're vulnerable and string you along financially till the suck out much as they can as the lying parasites that they are.
I have 0 care for the woman, cause the amount of those "mystics" that use a grieving family as a way to make money.
I am betting she was gonna offer her services, for a fee at "family and friends" if they took it up.
And even if not. Wait before doing this shit, at least until aftet the grieving period is over and make it an OFFER. "Hey, do you want me to see if i can communicate with your loved one?". Not what she did. OP hard NTA.
@@Flarflenugenreminds me of what Harry Houdini did. After discovering seances were scams, he would go in disguised and confront them when they claimed they were talking with his dead son.(He never had kids)
@@Flarflenugen
She's only 1 woman*
I had an aunt (my mom's brother's wife) who was also into spiritualism. When my grandmother (mom's mom) died, this aunt talked about how "Grammy's presence was making contact with her." This was the day of the funeral, btw.
The whole time, I was A: trying to keep myself from jumping down her throat for lack of tact. and B: thinking to myself, b*tch, Grammy didn't even like you. Why would she contact you of all people?
Plot Twist: Granny was trying to contact her to tell her to get her head out of her butt and let people grieve in peace.
I wonder if she tried to pull that nonsense at the will reading?
@@digifreak90 Funnily enough, that sounds like something Grammy would say.
Story 5: JFC! WTF?! That woman crossed a HUGE line! I just lost a grandparent and if someone did that to me in this moment I would feel violated. Regardless of beliefs, it's just to fucking raw right now. Also, my grandparent did believe in mediums, however they had NO TRUST with them. They were adamant that even with good intentions, those that have the ability to communicate, can't be sure who they are communicating with.
What the gf did was tacky and using the son’s death to make her the main character. If OP doesn’t have his family in therapy, he needs to asap. If he does, they may need double sessions after what she did.
Oh, absolutely. I'm a pagan. That "spiritual stuff" is my religion. I dabble with a lot of stuff, but I explicitly AVOID all forms of Necromancy. Let the dead lie. Any ghost you talk to will not be pleasant conversation. Either they're a wandering spirit with unfinished business, a vengeful spirit and actively malevolent, or a spirit you pulled from the afterlife that will not be happy you interrupted their eternal rest. Also, the dead are human and are as capable of deception as the living. Not only will they not be happy 10 times out of 10, but they will say whatever you want to hear to either get back to their paradise, or haunt you a little longer to escape torment.
NEVER fuck with the dead. Just don't. It's not worth it. Nope.
I could be considered spiritual, but never would I ever do that. Time and a place. I do my spiritual stuff on my own and I'll talk about it if it comes up, but I do not offer readings or spells unless someone specifically asks me for one. Besides, I'm skeptical of necromancy type stuff. We're really not supposed to contact the deceased.
Never ever let one of these people into your life it will lead to nothing but misery. They do nothing but harm.
@@maxbaker7841Hmmm if you don't mind my curiosity how come all these CZcams comment and reddit threads are filled with all these people claiming to be pagans is this some new underground trend or are you lot eastern Europeans whose family never converted over have you all been asleep for the last 1000 years after the harsh Christianisation campaigns of the 1000s and just awoke now as the end times are coming just kidding.
Story 2: My parents divorced when I was 2. Once, when I was probably around 6, my dad once asked for a hug, and while he held me, he stroked my back. I sometimes get weird about people touching certain parts of my body because it can feel like bugs are crawling on me. I told my mom about feeling uncomfortable and she took my dad to court and accused him of sexually abusing me. I think CPS got involved; I had to talk with them and show them where he'd touched me. It was scary thinking that something that had just made me uncomfortable in the moment was having such a dramatic effect. My dad loved me and my twin so much, and he had always been super affectionate, but after that incident he significantly distanced himself from us physically. I've always been a daddy's girl, and I'm still grieving what he and I lost because of that incident.
That mom needs serious help. She could seriously damage OP's relationship with his daughter, and both he and his daughter will suffer for it.
If you're describing what I'm thinking of, then I'm right there with you. Physically at least. There's something about being touched around my spine that makes me shiver uncomfortably as a reflex, it's no one's fault but if they touch me there or if I even think about it the tingle triggers... To think an innocent admission turned into something so traumatic, I'm sorry that happened to you.
the mom has clearly suffered some form of assault at a young age.
Been somewhat on the receiving end (I actually didn't do anything) of this with the added bonus that my kids mother is indulging in parental alienation as well. Best to try repair things with your dad one small step after another. It'll take time. Best of luck to you.
in this story it might aslo be a 5/5 AH for the mom, she might acually be projecting and having really bad thoughts herselft.
I lost my son a little over a year ago. This woman was super disrespectful in just blurting out her "sense" of the son's presence, if she, in fact, could feel anything. I think she was just showing out and drawing attention to herself to he a hero. I would have flipped out too and told her to get out. Younger brother knew gf might pull this and he needs to be told to keep the gf away. My heart goes out to the mom and dad. Loosing a child is the worst pain a parent can go through, and having careless relatives just make it worse.
I think there should be a bit more context for the last story:
In Mexico, we’re experiencing a high rate of femicides and its only increasing every year. Its gotten to the point where we have a march every year in Mexico City to bring awareness to murdered and missing women. While OP is NTA, I do have to give SOME (not alot) of NTA points to the husband. Abusive partners in Mexico really go out of their way to find where their ex partner is to force them to stay or even kill them. OP imo shouldn’t have posted they were headed to Houston cause who knows how demented that man is but hopefully everyone ends up in a good path. The sis thought needs to watch her tongue if she’s gonna be bullying people and then expect help in return.
I agree there's not enough information. I'd argue that its not even clear cut op isn't an AH. Like imagine they knew what they were trying to escape and when they show up begging for help they just act snarky and sassy. Or even look at the ultimatum she gave her husband! "Ignore your abused sister and her children, come back or im leaving you." Thats insane to me and I can't imagine them being free from any AH score.
“Psychic” story nta. She’s lucky there wasn’t a physical altercation for that.
And I bet she wouldn’t have seen it coming
Story 1 has an update:
First I want to thank everyone for you responses. When I first posted I thought I would get just a few replies. Obviously I got way more than a few and was just overwhelmed by the shear volume of comments. So never replied but I did my best to read them all, however working 12 hour days doesn't leave me much free time.
So before the update, figured I'd answer some questions that everyone asked.
My daughter and I are safe. So thank you again for your worries and concerns.
My wife has never had anger issues or thrown stuff ever. Not to say she hasn't yelled or lost her temper (normal when we've had arguments, as we all do)
However she does have depression and anxiety and takes meds for those as well.
Sorry if my post made it seem like I was making excuses for her. I was and am not. She's an adult and responble for her actions.
Also some people mentioned I gave pointless info in the first few paragraphs. I figured it was best to point out that her actions wasn't due to me be being a lazy husband.
Ok onto the bit long Update:
So after posting here, I took some time to cool off as I clearly was still mad about the situation. I took my daughter and we went for a drive. We talked about this issue and asked her how she felt.
Much like most of the responses here, we agreed that it would be a good idea to leave the house for a bit, until her mom/my wife's mental issues have been resolved/meds adjusted.
We headed back home and I asked my wife to come down so we could have a family meeting. As she'd been hiding in our bedroom since we came home from the hospital.
She came down and clearly feels awful, looked like she hadn't stopped crying since the incident. We both hugged her and told her we loved her but we needed to talk.
I told her for at least this week and maybe next week, we were going to stay at my sister's place. She could stay in the house as she works from home and can't go into the office. She started to cry again, so waited for her to compose herself and finished.
I let her know what she did Was abuse. I reminded her of my childhood and that although this was outside of her normal behavior, it has caused a rift in our marriage. But I was willing to give her this 1 time pass.
However she Has to go see her doctor like yesterday. Tell her everything that happened. Everything she was feeling, not to sugar coat anything so that her doctor can get her the right meds so that this never happens again.
As many of you mentioned, it would be dumb of me to throw away 20yrs for a one time fuck up. (When I posted I was still pretty pissed) Although it was a huge fuck up, I think it's something we can work through.
I told her that we need to setup an appointment with a MC again. That this is gonna take work on both our parts to move forward.
I also told her that if she ever did anything like that again. I would file for divorce and take our daughter with me. That her and my safety was my number one priority.
She apologized several times during the talk. She tried telling us that she's all messed up with with her hormones and the meds and she didn't mean too. That when she threw it, it was like as soon as it left her hands she knew she fucked up.
I let her know that we understand she's going through a lot. But that her hormonal issues are never an excuse for acting out and intentionally throwing stuff at me. That she's an adult and she's responsible for her own actions. Blaming it on hormones or meds or other bs wasn't gonna cut it. (I did get a bit heated at this point).
She at least acknowledged this and apologized again.
So this is were we are at this point. We are at my sister's place now as I write this. Sorry again for the stupidly long post.
Again, thank you all you internet strangers for taking the time to read and comment. It allowed me to vent and also get some clarity.
I am SO sorry that all of this has happened to you, but you are still able to think calmly and clearly about the situation! That is a VERY impressive skill for any man to have after everything you've been through in your life. Seriously, good luck with everything, and I hope it all works out for the 3 of you!!
14:00 - During mourning is when mediums to their stuff. Their business models is to prey on the desperate and the emotionally vulnerable.
Story 5: As someone sharing the GF's beliefs (and not thinking a "presence" necessarily means the soul isn't resting in peace), this was a horrible time and way to approach the grieving parents about their loss.
1. It's one of the other kids birthday! just let them enjoy the celebration of their other kid still being alive and let the birthday kid have a fun day.
2. The GF need to be more respectful of their grief, bringing it up at that time in front of everyone only satisfied the GF's own desire to help the parents rather than her being considerate about their mental state, personal beliefs and actually presenting her abilities in a helpful manner.
3. Tying into the previous point, this way of bringing it up didn't give the parents a choice in the matter, there's a difference between presenting it as an option for them to choose if THEY want that help, not force it on them to recieve the GF's help.
4. Being able to connect with deceased loved ones does not cancel out the need for proper grief of them not existing in the same plane as oneself anymore. I believe letting them get closer to the grief stage of acceptance is a much more beneficial time to approach with these things.
So the GF could've just waited a few days and send a text along the lines of:
"I don't know how your personal beliefs align with mine, but when i was at your place the other day i experienced the presence of X, and if you'd like i wouldn't mind helping you connect with them when/if you feel that could be helpful to you and your loss."
My mom hasn’t gone through menopause but she had a thyroid disorder when I was in high school that caused extreme mood swings similar to OP’s wife in the first story. Those mood swings are no joke man. I won’t give details, but let’s just say that was the only time in my life that I was genuinely scared of her. It’s tricky to say who the asshole is when someone’s actions are both out of their control and inexcusable. I hope the wife gets the help she needs, and I hope OP and his daughter is safe.
My grandfather was Type 1 diabetic. He had an episode like that when my dad was in his teens. My grandmother almost left him because of it.
The last OP's inclination to drop her husband like a hot turd so quickly makes me wonder what else led up to that ultimatum. This can't be the first incident, because that's not an extreme a person jumps to at the first sign of trouble.
It sounds like, and may be other things as well, whenever SIL jabs OP, he goes with it instead of defending OP.
@@lorilancaster5917That seems like a logical possibility.
Yeah the drop was too quick for something else not to be involved. Cuz damn I'd want to help my niece and nephew out even if their mom dislikes my wife. She still fully in right to not have her and kids live with her tho
Mexican families can be super enmeshed like family over everything so it's probably a cultural issue. At least thats how i percieved it
My mom threw a full coffee cup at me once when I was about 12-13 years old. Also a lot cigarette. That first story is very familiar. She went thru early menopause as well.
I am very sorry
that's horrible... I'm sorry to hear you lived this
I am so sorry you went through what you did. (I didn't have a great childhood and as a mom now, hearing this breaks my heart.) I hope things are better for you.
My mom is going through menopause and while grumpy never hurt us
My mom was the same, throwing stuff and screaming and had us living in terror from her, our doctor even told us to tell him when she started to make the family feel unsafe and we said she already is. Menopause with undiagnosed Adhd turned that woman into a monster, she's 100% better now and I truly think hormones can change a person more then we think
Story 2: If you can't trust your spouse with your child then _why have a child with them?_ It's incredibly unfair to the other parent as well as potentially screwing up the child.
Story 4: reminds me of my relationship that just ended. He yelled at me that my debt wasn't his problem... My debt was incurred due to his lack of money and me having to bail him out so often. I am now single and trying to claw my way out of that hole.
But it's a Corvette.
The time change had moved rslash’s upload schedule from 9 am est to 10 am est and i never knew how important rslash was to my routine until i realized its an hour late
I got whiplash from this because now, the podcasts get uploaded before the video.
SAME! It throws me off so much and I feel so weird until he posts 😭
I'm glad I'm not the only one who incorporates his videos into my daily routines! They're so calming and help me focus!
I can't listen to anyone else read reddit stories at this point because his voice is just perfect for them
I kept on refreshing the page thinking youtube was being weird till i forgot about the time change 😅
Glad i wasn't the only one thinking "all boobs are fun sized because all boobs are fun" 😂
Fourth story: NTA. Is time to OP to get out of this relation before he tries to steal OP's credit and debit cards. If OP stays she risks this douchebag dragging her into bankrupsy.
You clearly don't understand being interested in cars
Exactly. Not trying to defend him, but if he was gonna be doing this, he could’ve waited until everything was all signed and legal before getting the car and then he still would’ve won. The boyfriend clearly sees OP as nothing more than an ATM.
@@MyMika2004 but waste over 42k when you are in debt is one of the stupidiest things you can do. And he wants OP to help him pay that car AND pay 100% of house appliances. More than interest is an obsesion.
Story 6:The homeless people in this story are lucky as heck,NTA
Story 2: That’s such a messed up thing to put your partner through. I have a feeling even if they get divorced, OP’s wife will just get worse whenever their daughter has visits/lives with OP. Can’t help wondering if she would be this protective if they had a son or would she actively avoid them if that were the case?
I’m betting she would try to put him up for adoption behind OPs back and lie that she accidentally left him in the store
Story 1: If he can afford divorce, he should ABSOLUTELY file for divorce.
Edit: Story 2: Exact Same Advice.
She’s labeled OP a predator without any reason. Divorce her and request therapy for her since she won’t do so with him
Story 4: If you're going into a situation were you're financially bound to another person, you and that person should agree on finances. OP, you need a different boyfriend, one that you agree with on money matters or the two of you will end up shredding each other.
Why isn’t he an ex after he’s shown who he is? OP is a piggy bank with benefits to him only
Why isn’t he already an ex? He’s shown who he is! He only sees OP as a piggy bank with benefits
Why is he not an ex? He’s shown that he only sees OP as a piggy bank with benefits
But it's a Corvette for only 45 killabeans.
Last story: I really think we don't have enough information here. It really depends on what and how exactly OP decided to deny the request. And I'd say that if it was DV there's an added layer where even if you don't like them, you have to be more tactful with how and what you are saying. And if there was DV OP is definitely at least a little bit of an AH. Because they gave their husband an ultimatum that if there was DV was "you either ignore your abused sister, running for her and her children's life and stay with me. Or you can go comfort and support your sister who's escaping an abusive relationship with her kids and I'm leaving you"
Story 2: You know the scary thing about this post? Let’s say Op stays with her, you know the SECOND Op needs to discipline their daughter, the wife will scream abuse up and down at him.
NTA Op, personally i don’t think you can come back from this.
My thoughts exactly. This situation sounds like a false allegation waiting to happen.
I'm in chemical menopause (for various reasons). I've had ups and downs but haven't become physically or emotionally abusive. This isn't just perimenopause, this is abuse. Perimenopause explains mood swings, but doesn't excuse throwing things and abuse. I've seen this with a close friend of mine, and do what I can to support them through their healing journey.
Last story: Trad-Wife-To-Single-Mother-Poverty pipeline is FULL, lolz
Dude, my beliefs/spiritual practice means I too use tarot, ghost writing, ouija boards, and stuff to contact the dead, or to communicate when I think I feel a presence. But I have never had the audacity to tell someone that they should let me contact their dead relative. I let them come to me if they're interested and I tell them it may not work, that sometimes a soul is just at rest and content to not be contacted.
The girlfriend approached that whole scenario like a carnival fortune teller. It was a sales pitch and she should be ashamed of herself.
You are braver than me. I don't fuck with the dead. But... I do tend to fuck with the local fae. I have brownies in my house who constantly move stuff.
I only mess with tarot cards but I don't approach people having a tough time, I sometimes do readings in public and I'll do them if someone asks me or if it comes up, I mention I do them but spiritual stuff needs to be fully consentual from all parties. You really can't push it with spiritual stuff, that's just scummy.
same, i especially use tarot. ive never talked spiritually about a dead person to anyone except my best friend, and only after her saying it was okay as it was about someone we both knew who commited s :\ but yea i think its disrespectful in most cases, unless you are super close and have permission.
Story 2: What happens if they have boys? Will she barricade her daughter's room to protect her from the evil menfolk? This is a horribly toxic situation for the OP and ANY children they may have, daughters included. Wife needs therapy yesterday. If they get divorced, he needs to find some way get custody and demand therapy for his wife before she's allowed visitation.
Story 2: sounds like the wife did get abused by a close male family member but refuses to face it. So it’s now projected onto her daughter and OP. Helicopter parenting doesn’t help and will get worse as the child grows. The wife needs therapy pronto
Last story: I feel like I can't make a proper judgment until I know what OP men's specifically when she said SIL had to flee from her husband. If it's under normal circumstances then yeah I'm woth OP, you don't invite someone that completely disrespect you into your house so they can do it 24/7. If we're talking about a serious family emergency then now wasn't the time to be petty, that still wouldn't give SIL a pass like she would have to respect OP in her house or she can go. It's just there's a time and place.
Eh personally no. OP wasn't being petty even if SIL was fleeing something more serious than a cheating ex. If someone constantly berates you, belittles you and disrespects you, why would you ever feel inclined to help them? Like Eminem once said in a song "Wouldn't piss on fire to put you out." 😂
Oh, I disagree. If SIL spent YEARS trashing OP it doesn't matter what the emergency is. She should not expect OP to go out of her way to provide support. SIL should have contacted her own family (OP's husband included) and asked for help. Just turning up at OP's door and expecting to be welcomed is ridiculous. Too late to pull they 'we're family' card.
I agree with you because there are children involved. If there weren't I don't think I would. They could have at least taken them in for maybe a day or two until a better solution was agreed upon if for no other reason then the children's sake.
Story 3: I always hate those situations where it’s ok for one person to make a joke about it but the moment another person joins in with a joke of the same caliber, suddenly they’re in the wrong. I’m saying this as a flat woman, if a partner ever called them “fun-sized” after I literally just made a joke about being flat, I’d laugh and be happy that at least my partner appreciates them
Lol as a flat woman I also laughed at the fun sized comment. I think it’s fine for a joke not to land and to maybe be a bit hurt. You just need to realize that in that situation the hurt isn’t necessarily the fault of the joke maker. Take step back think about why it hurt you and do your best to communicate it to the other person. But I agree that if jokes about your appearance hurt you, then don’t make jokes about someone else’s appearance.
As a sensitive person: sometimes I misjudge how much of a joke I can tolerate, and whether I can take hearing the same joke from the other person or not. Still, it's fair to say that feelings getting hurt is a risk you're taking if you make jokes about yourself and your insecurities, kind of like starting a dodgeball game and then getting upset when someone throws the ball at you too hard.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: sometimes this situation isn't someone being a jerk on purpose, and they should have the space to honestly say that their feelings were hurt so that the situation doesn't escalate, but you're right to say that the other person isn't suddenly in the wrong for making the same joke.
Expensive car: if she has no say on what he does with his money - he has no say in what she does with hers which includes getting an apartment. Simple as that. They're not living together now and that's very key information, folks. Remember OP wrote that HIS lease is expiring soon. She helped bail him out with rent when he doesn't even live with her? Don't move in with him for at least a few more years, OP, and see if he improves; but right now, he'll not only drag you down, he'll use you as a financial stepping stone.
And I’m betting that his landlord isn’t accommodative because he’s been late with the rent even after OPs help
Normally I'd agree but cmon It's a Corvette.
Story 5- As someone who believes in the paranormal, I would never do something like that. That's just so messed up. If the grieving couple approaches you, that's one thing. But you never approach them!
Story One: BIGGEST NTA EVER! Like rslash said, hormones are not an excuse. Pack your stuff, do not pass go, do NOT collect $200, JUST RUN. Take your daughter and RUN fast.
"It's not the size of a woman's chest that matters but the size of her heart under that chest.". Some anime series.
Story 4: boyfriend says what he buys is not OP's business... if she needs to cover for his financial irresponsibility, it's ABSOLUTELY her business.
NTA, and OP shouldn't stop at canceling the apartment lease: she needs to cancel the boyfriend too.
Why isn’t he an ex? He should’ve been kicked to the curb the moment he shows he takes his sweet time paying people back. OP likely had to keep pushing. OP is only a piggy bank with benefits to him.
He only sees OP as a piggy bank with benefits. She can do better and will be better without him.
eyup. 💯% truth.
1st story: NTA but imho there could be room for salvaging the marriage, but dont count me on it.
Unacceptable I would have her 5150 after this. To assault you just cuz she's suffering from menopause is disgusting and responsibility avoidance behavior
the first two and the very last stories: what are these women THINKING?!
Story 2: why have children with someone you don’t even trust to be around them? What’s the point of this child having a father if he can’t even do something as change a diaper? She needs to sit down with op or a therapist,it’s going to be tough but she has to get out what (I think) happened to her.
Remember, abuse comes in many shapes, including cup-shaped
Or the lady's bio clock hitting midnight.
When I was in my 20's, I had to take meds that caused menopause. I was dealing with menopause, PMS, my myriad of medical issues, debilitating pain on top of bi-polar/anger issues. But I NEVER sent anyone to the ER (even though there were some close calls). OP's wife has *NO* excuse for what she did and needs therapy asap.
First story after OP proceeding the divorce:
Op looking at wife: I hope that coffee was worth it.
Than proceeds to walk out the court room.
Also which Hormones told her to throw a coffee cup to her husband head at that time of day? Because I hate my hormones making me shoot my brother in the foot.
After the divorce OP should taunt his ex with a picture of a cappuccino machine he bought
Does 2nd OP's wife realize what she's saying about her husband when she isn't allowing him to bathe their daughter?
He has to leave before the implied accusation becomes a direct accusation.
As a spiritual person, I, too, can feel certain presences and whatnot. Recently, my boss passed away and most of the employees (myself included) attended his funeral. And I swear, from the depths of my heart, I saw my old boss' ghost hug and kiss his grieving wife as we were all leaving the church. However, I didn't tell the wife because I knew her mental state. There's always a time and a place for that stuff, and it's best to read the room first before you go ahead telling the family members about that type of stuff. It's best to keep your mouth shut unless they specifically come to you and ask about it. But that's my peace.
Birthday story: Oh, she would be feeling a presence alright: The Presence of my fist breaking her nose.
What a load of Dookie.
Psychics or mediums or whatever they're called make my skin crawl.
Story 1 I heard this one before. I can't believe people told op to "give her a chance". Even worse he did. If the roles were reversed they'd be screaming for her to leave him and press charges. The misandry of reddit in a nut shell.
Misandry isn't a thing.
@@shoutaaizawa5810it is
Misandry IS a thing, just like misogyny. They exist for a reason.
@shoutaaizawa5810 sarcasm?
Anyway, yes, regardless of the wife's "reasons," her reaction doesn't make sense. Wife needs immediate help and hope she gets it.
@shoutaaizawa5810
If misandry "isn't a thing", then neither is misogyny.
bf (should be x bf): my corvette is not your business
op: your living situation is not my problem :D
So instead of letting her husband care for their daughter, she's choosing to "protect" her. Does she not realize he can divorce her and them get 50/50 and she won't be around AT ALL??
Story 5: That's the plot to a horror movie! Don't you know that if something DOES respond, chances are that it will NOT be the person you're looking for? I would tell her, in a very firm tone, not to talk about bringing that evil into my household ever again. OP dodged a bullet.
Story 5: yeah those are one of the things you don't bring up during an 8 year old's birthday party, and I personally think you should go to her if you're interested not the other way around even if her intent wasn't malicious.
Story 4: of course it's none of her business, she wouldn't have let him buy the car if she knew in advance, and he was trying to be vague because he knew she'd be pissed. It doesn't matter how a couple handles money, the bottom line is when your SO makes a stupid and expensive purchase you're the one stuck paying the different because now they can't afford their basic needs.
It sounds like your BF plan was to live off you while he could spend his own money on whatever he wanted, even if you don't break up with him you sure as hell shouldn't move in with the douchebag.
With the last story: I can see 2 scenarios. 1 being OP is mad at sil and took it too far with her husband making it seem like she hates his entire family. 2 is OP’s husband picks his family’s side over OP 100% of the time having these feelings fester until she told sil to leave and husband to pick a side and if he chooses wrong he’s gone as well
First Story: NTA no matter what he decides to do. Personally I’d try to get her some serious help for her mental state before giving up but I wouldn’t blame him for anything he decides.
The update to the first story bothers me. In my book, if you hurt me in any way, emotionally or physically, its over, its done, end of story. Yes its the same if I fuck up, because I can't imagine staying with somebody that I hurt.
"fun sized" boobs are a blessing. I watch people more blessed with abundance than myself struggle to run, go up the stairs and sleep face down, and any body image issues I might have had usually disappear. I was also made fun of for being flat-chested, nowadays those same bullies have hunched backs and saggy old boobs drooping down their navel.
My Daughter Story: that kind of controlling behavior also would lead the child to have a distorted view of how to interact with men when she gets older too. Always under the assumption every guy is bad or is out to get her by her mom's framing of logic from what I can see.
Fifth story: NTA. I believe in things ike this, but she crossed the line for the situation she decided to pull that. Also, she basically said that their kid isn't resting in peace as they hope.
I hate these damn mediums. They sit there and pretend that they can see dead people
Same
And use people when they are most vulnerable. Glad OP showed them the door. Maybe she can get a reading from when the door was a tree?
If they have schizophrenia, I'd be more inclined to believe them, since it does frequently have a hallucinatory component to it
Story 1: Whatever she's experiencing is not an excuse for her abuse. If she's well enough not to be institutionalized she's well enough to be responsible for her actions. NTA.
Story 4: 🎶 It’s an in-the-red Corvette!🎶
You win the Internet today as far as I am concerned.
Story 1: Hormones are never excuse to treat people badly period
That goes for having a bun in the oven and the bio-clock striking midnight.
Lmao "It's none of your business what I spend my money on."
He unironically spent her money to get the car XD pay back your lenders
He did pay her back. He was late paying it back but he did pay. Taking OP at her word, he spent 0 of her money on the car and no longer owes her a cent. And no, I'm not defending him or vilifying her, just setting the record straight.
@@wingracer1614You're right. I relistened to it cause I wasn't sure, and he did actually pay her back for the money she lent him. So that is totally valid, but I still wouldn't move in with someone who even on paper can't afford rent
@@Dragons4Dummies Agreed though in the interest of fairness, dude is making 70K a year. He can easily afford a 42k car (that's actually cheap these days) and rent. We don't know how long ago these rent problems were or why he had them. He could have been under crippling student loans and making half what he is now. And now he might have the loans paid off and got a promotion at work and decided it was finally time to reward himself. Probably not, he's probably just a man-child expecting the GF to be his new mommy and bail him out of every bad situation he creates for himself but we just don't know.
@@wingracer1614 I'll give you that, but how do you explain not discussing this with your partner? When you're moving in together as a couple, and not just 2 buddies splitting rent, this type of thing is discussed. Realistic partners would discuss any purchase that's over a few hundred.
Even if it's not "asking permission" and just more like "I think I'm gonna get a new truck." Just communicate, you know? It's a lot of money and can change a lot of plans and expectations. And for all OP seems to know he couldn't afford rent with his previous car payments and now has a new car. So even if we take out the idea that he can't afford it, he is clearly not great at communicating with a partner.
@@Dragons4Dummies I'm not explaining anything. Yes he probably should have talked to her about it. I'm just trying to set the facts straight. You can criticize him all you want, certainly sounds like there is plenty to criticize but do it for the right reasons and with the understanding that we are only hearing one side of this story. My pointing out factual errors and other hypothetical scenarios is not the same as me saying he did nothing wrong. The truth often, but not always, lies somewhere in the middle. Always take these one side reddit stories with a grain of salt. I bet if he wrote a reddit post detailing this same story from his perspective and r/ ran the story a couple months from now, all the comments would be stuff like "man, she's a control freak. Run, don't walk from this relationship."
I have an aunt who does this spiritual crap
When my grandfather was in and out of the hospital delirious, she’d hear his favorite radio turn on and tell me stuff along the lines of “it’s his spirit trying to contact us”
Worse yet about a year later when he actually died she got absolutely wasted the night before the funeral and was going on about spirit stuff while singing very obnoxiously at 4 in morning
Story 1- I’ve known hundreds of women in my life who have gone through menopause, and none of them have ever turned so violent they injured someone else.
Either something else is going on, or your wife has always been like this but is unable to control herself now because of the hormone shift.
I wonder if you look back through your relationship, Will you see any micro aggressions or times where she’s gaslit you or been mentally or emotionally abusive?
For the corvette depends if it was old or not my cousin bought one for 1500 but he did work on it etc. my dad has two cars, a daily car and a truck. The daily car gets better mileage and the truck he used to need to use more often than now but it has utility from moving stuff, towing a small green trailer or a small 16’ boat passed down from my uncle (1962 Boston whaler) or when we would go camping. I can understand two cars but one needs utility unless you have savings are good financially.
Yup, in some places/situations 2 cars are beneficial. I live in a rural snowy place, a truck to help plow or get places in. Bad weather and take the trash to the dump and a car for the good gas mileage is the norm here. However, “a fun car” is never a necessity and shouldn’t be done when you have other financial obligations. It’s a reward for when you are in a good financial situation.
Story 1:Mentally ill or not,a crime is a crime,Divorce her or your life will be in danger,NTA
Story 2: I wouldn't at all be surprised if when the OP leaves his wife she tries to spin some story about how the OP being either simply a jerk and/or a creep. Regardless I don't blame the OP for wanting to end things.
OP3: My wife is almost exactly as described by this guy and ever since we first met, she has said that she is fun sized. I’m glad that things worked out for y’all, but it was so weird hearing the reaction your gf had. Good luck to you both and I wish you all the best. Fun Sized Girl = Best Girl.
WTF is a weekend car? Cars aren't underwear.
Ikr, I was like dafuq
A weekend car serves the same purpose as a motorboat or ATV; they're largely recreational vehicles for people with money. I've also heard them being referred to as "summer toys."
@@danielbrant6740 even if I had money I'd still only have one car
@@madambutterfly1997I would have a truck for my second car but that’s just due to where I live. A truck is needed to plow snow and to take the trash to the dump as we don’t have garbage collection. Also sometimes we need a truck to pull the cars out of the ditch on our driveway when we slide off it. A “fun car/weekend car” is a luxury and the BF is an AH for his attitude and refusal to be responsible with money.
It's all peacocking.
Menopause isn't a reason to do crazy shit just as having a period doesn't. She had that in her the entire time.
Expensive car story:
The BF absolutely thought that OP would be covering his expenses in the future for him. He was all excited about the money he was going to blow on crap. I’m glad OP walked away from living with this dude.
“All boobs are fun-sized”. 😂
Story 3. Classic woman move. Makes a joke about herself, and then when the boyfriend makes a similar joke, he’s in trouble.
And in her process, she makes fun of OPs body while he likely didn’t even notice or care
Another great day listening to rslash
I genuinely can’t believe there are people out there who don’t know if it’s okay to leave a domestic violence/abuse situation. Like I’ve been there so I get the mentality myself, but sometimes I hear stories and can’t help but be shocked. No you’re not the ah for leaving someone who quite literally sliced your head open!
Psychics who talk about feeling the dead when the family is grieving are almost always looking for a payday.
First story. While such a physical assault is grounds for a divorce... if I were in that position, I likely wouldn't. I'd sit her down and talk to her about it. She crossed a line, but it's best to try and get her help, rather than just abandoning her.
Of course my decision would change if it happened again.
Story 1: NTA bit I'd argue divorce this fast is a bit nuclear. From what OP has said, this is a first and only time offence and their wife is clearly not trying to justify or defend their actions. Even they know this was the wrong action to take and regrets it, meaning they're likely to agree to whatever might be required to avoid this happening in the future. What they did has no excuse but I think OP should first sit their wife down and talk about what happened, why it's so upsetting to them and try to find a less nuclear option to prevent this happening in the future.
THANK YOU!! I've seen comments saying "this probably isn't the only way she's abusive" "she probably abuses the daughter when the husband isn't around" "I never did anything like that when I was going through menopause". Like, do people genuinely not realize that hormone imbalances effect everyone differently? And she IMMEDIATELY apologized after she realized what she did and never tried to defend herself against the accusations. And according to the Reddit update, his wife has agreed to go back to counseling and get help. I'm not advocating for staying with an abuser, but a one time incident when a person was, quite frankly, probably not in total control of themselves, doesn't make them an abuser.
@@aidentrumbo1436 All too many people don't consider the thoughts and feelings behind the actions, seeing only the negatives and ignoring all other signs. It's why so many people are afraid to make even one little mistake. It could end their lives as they know it.
Guy in story 1 should go for full custody while he's at it.
That woman is now proven unpredictably violent, which could endanger their child.
Story 5: 1/5 AH only. I believe it's common for close relatives and friends to try to communicate and let their loved ones know they are all right, especially if they are suffering from great pain over the loss.
Assuming she was really feeling or seeing something, there seemed to be good intent and she was just so overwhelmed that wasn't thinking straight about whether it being the right time. Maybe just young and immature, but with good intent.
8:14 R/Slash, are you trying to get OP killed?
As someone who's flat. I say make that joke
I was worried for a second there
Saylight Davings does that to people... =u=
This happened last year too
Oh right white people things @@trumediamix1
I'm also going through perimenopause and it suuuucks, but it never makes me violent or out of control. Everyone is different and maybe other factors are contributing here, but something to consider is that she's using her hormonal imbalance and pent up anger as an excuse to let everything fly and this time it just went farther than she intended. I've seen this happen with someone in my family.
I hope OP in story 1 gets custody. He needs to document that incident well and use it in court.
Story 2: okay look I get it to an extent, you hear about so many horror stories with abusive men I can see how get paranoid to the point you don't really trust them. But when it's not all men, and two to such a paranoia that you don't let the man you married and had a kid with be alone with your daughter is insane. I don't blame you for considering divorce because you cannot live like this, and you can let your dog their develop a fear not only against all men but also you, she's going to pick up on the fact that you're not allowed around her by yourself and think you might hurt her.
However I am a bit worried if you do go through with the divorce and the talk about custody comes up, I seriously think you should save up for a good lawyer because she will not let you get custody of that girl.
Good morning, everyone!!
Good morning