r/Amiwrong My Husband Has a Secret Wife in Thailand
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
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Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:08 Thailand
2:23 Out in the rain
6:22 Secret crush
7:47 Lingerie stash
11:19 Comment
12:23 Online dating
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Story 1: Dude already made his choice. The reason he says "he'll choose between OP or her" is just to keep OP's hopes up and emotionally abuse her. He even admitted that he isn't in love with OP like he is with the other girl. Get a divorce lawyer OP, you deserved way better than that piece of garbage.
He is keeping his options open incase it doesn’t work out with the other woman.
@@Ailleasexactly this. I hope OP changes the locks and files divorce on an abandonment claim.
Well if they’ve never met in person and she’s from Thailand there’s a considerable chance it’s a guy
And OP should file after he leaves. Sending the paperwork to his current address. He will have 30 days to respond, and if he doesn't OP will get everything. He won't respond because he is out of country! LOL. Best to tell lawyer all so the lawyer can tell if what I am saying is even legal.
He also want to have his fun then come home to his faithful wife who's too afraid to leave him. He chose himself.
S1
"Save your marriage??" WHAT marriage?! The dude already dipped out, abandoned you _and your children_ and it's living it up with some random woman. Find some self- respect or at least acknowledge that your children deserve better than that piece of filth. It's over. It's *done.* He's GONE.
Exactly. She needs to set a better example for her kids. A better example that this isn't how you let people treat you in a relationship or that this isn't how you treat people in a relationship. She's in love with the idea of who she thinks her husband is not who he actually is or probably has never been. And you're right, it's real. Pathetic.
That's what I thought! Save your marriage?? For what?? He's already cheated and the marriage is already gone...
2nd story- "I don't know if I can trust you after you cheated on me"
Meanwhile she is thinking about getting back with her ex whilst with her boyfriend
Wow not her problem and op sucks for not waiting the next day to kick her out
@@KadeStringer2.0it literally IS her problem though. She caused it 💀
@@KadeStringer2.0she chose to cheat, she takes the consequences of it.
@@KadeStringer2.0L take
@@KadeStringer2.0 why should he be so caring of her when she is using him as a second chioce to turn to when her douchy ex will drop her?
That dude already made his choice. If he can afford a 2 month trip to Thailand he can afford alimony and child support. Use his absence to get a lawyer, gather evidence, and nail his butt to the wall as soon as he gets back.
There’s no fixing this marriage; dude has already abandoned ship.
It baffles me how so many people think that a marriage is salvageable at this point, or even that it’s worth it. OP has kids, and for their sake, she needs to grow a backbone and move on from him. Model healthy boundaries. (That goes for basically every story this episode)
He's not coming back.
The worst thing about it is he is very likely being scammed.
@@Tustin2121A lot of the time it's due to religious indoctrination, even to this day there are groups of Christians that teach divorce is a sin, it's a woman's fault if the marriage falls apart and a woman's responsibility to forgive every transgression, including cheating and abuse, they're taught to just do better as a wife in the future.
Another possibility is years of gaslighting and verbal abuse. Again it's a case of years of manipulation training you to perceive your abusers actions as your fault and responsibility.
I hope he is but she won't take him back after @@Mr_Timi1
Story 4: The fact that the lingerie was visible might mean she was grabbing things from there before seeing "her family" also the behavior he said she gives off on dates and lack of effort in the bedroom activities all scream cheating.
I really hope it’s just OP on the lease/mortgage. That way he can just do what OP from story two did.
the exwife of a friend always used granny panties, but one time he found some thongs and lingerie hidden in her drawer, and she told him it was a surprise for him and that the ruined it, long story short, she was cheating
I wonder if there is an update
@@edgargarcia5693That’s such a great example of literal gaslighting 😅
Last story: No, it's fact the kids didn't notice or care that their mother didn't come home for Christmas that tells him everything he needs to know.
Story one: I wouldn’t be surprised if its a scam and he’s stranded there with nothing
That’d be the cherry on top, tbh. And all the more reason for her to dump him.
I really think she just wanted to move out
I really hope so.
I absolutely HOPE that she scammed him because he would be begging op to go back
That would be sweet karmic justice in my opinion
It would be funny as hell in the first one if he was catfished the whole time.
Since it's Thailand, could be a ladyboy... 😂
I was thinking that myself. And that arrogant bastard will think all he has to do is demand OP pay his way back and all will be right with the world. I really hope she has read these comments and takes action besides eagerly waiting for his return
This is what I was thinking, romance scams like that are quite common so there's a good chance this is exactly what's happening. Although it is somewhat less funny when you think about how much money the clueless loser is likely to lose and how that will affect the kids. And knowing the wife will take him back without a second thought. It's actually really sad now that I think about it...
Story 2: LOOOL imagine actively trying to cheat on your bf with your ex while being housed by your bf and then having the nerve to ask for ANY favours after getting caught.
NTA Op, CLASSIC case of “f*ck around and find out”.
Hearing that update just floored me. "You should have been more considerate of your cheating ex girlfriend's well being." If the rolls were reversed I guarantee nobody would have given a shit about OP being stuck in the rain for two hours at 2 am.
Adding to that, she broke it off with the ex because he CHEATED! This is a person who has some serious problems.
@@coppercorn yes, she is an hypocrite, i don't know if there is a cure for that
It's basic human decency not to leave a woman outside alone with minimal clothing in the middle of the night. What if she was abducted or assaulted? She deserves that because she can't get over her ex? People like yall are why women are scared to step outside.
It's basic human decency not to leave a woman outside alone with minimal clothing in the middle of the night. What if she was abducted or assaulted? She deserves that because she can't get over her ex? People like yall are why women are scared to step outside.
Thai Mistress OP needs a divorce lawyer. Hubby is going to come home in 2 months, tell her he's choosing his family, and then immediately find a new side-piece who he will take a 2-month vacation with the next year. As long as she's willing to take him back, he's going to keep leaving because there's literally no consequences.
If I was married with kids and my husband EVER said that he was going to see another woman then choose between me or her I'd be like "you've already chosen. As soon as you step out that door, we are over. Don't bother coming back." That's crazy! What is that dude thinking?!
Because its easy to say that beforehand. Actually sticking with that belief in the moment when someone who you hold extremely dear to you, has been pretty much the only true constant in your life for YEARS and then states they arent sure because they feel something for someone else that they dont feel with you at the moment, and just want to see if that feeling is fantasy or not (while almost certainly having sex with someone else). Its going to be REALLY hard to be like "well, you already made your choice", and not succumb to any emotions related to low worth and esteem.
@@Predated2 you must not know me then. It's happened to me before. Not with a husband since I've never been married but with a longterm boyfriend. And I dropped him like a sack of potatoes.
Story 1: there’s no saving it but do not bankroll his side romance. Pull a Tony Soprano: go to multiple reputable divorce attorneys in your area for a consultation to make sure your husband wouldn’t be able to find a good one to represent him for divorce.
This is unforgivable and irreversible in my opinion so spare yourself and your children the pain and get a divorce
She's so jealous that she would slander and paint a generous decent woman as a predator? That's a red flag right there.
I wouldn't dare date anyone like that.
I fully agree, I would end with dating someone, and friendship to who is willing to falsely accuse someone else horrible crimes without any valid reason, and proof.
If she had no problems with falsely accuse Aunt B because of jealousy, who can say that she wouldn't falsely accuse OP of SA because he forgot to do the dishes 10th time, or something stupid like that. But hey, it's OP's trial, sex offender spot, and funeral.
This. I cNt imaging how people would think that this scenario is cute enough to come out with a date. I would be disgusted with you cause you went to such lengths as to accuse someone of being a child predator because of jealousy? That's not jealousy jealousy is being upset when you you spend more time with friends. Not when you're doing a job for a family member and then someone goes 0 to 3000 and say you're being groomed. That's an obsession.
Exactly what I was going to say dude, like why tf would you want to date someone who is willing to badmouth someone for being kind and generous??
If she’s willing to bluntly say that about someone OP considers family, what will she say about random women? Female friends from work or university? She wasn’t coming from a good place when she implied that OPs employer and family friend was a predator.
Ummm she's 18 lol. Obviously wasn't the best thing to say, but it's not like she's 28. Obviously she's not so emotionally mature
Story 1: OP is so pitiful it hurts
"Oh I will choose which ones I'll be with" is a freaking classic. Even if he "picks OP", he's just gonna pull that one again next time, because he knows OP is terrified of being single
Story 2: Can we take a second to appreciate the IRONY that girl's expressing worry she'll be betrayed and traumatized again with her ex, AS SHE IS CHEATING ON HER OP. The lack self awareness is just....amazing. Who the hell cares if she was outside in the rain, OP's not her babysitter. You dont wanna be thrown out? Well then don't stay at someone elses place while being a cheater
Story 3: Way to jump to conclusions. Did figure girl had a crush on OP. Oh well test the theory then
Story 4:....I mean she could've bought them and chickened out. Or you know run an OnlyFans page. Oooooor she's cheating.
Story 5: "What if she was on dating sites to make friends?" Mhm and I watch adult videos to find out if the plumber fixes the sink
It's not about lacking self awareness...she's just a horrible person she does know what she's doing...
Lady in story 1 needs to get some counseling. Why would you want to be married to someone who walked out on you? WTAF?
To the lengereie story: even if it's not an indication of cheating, it is an indication of lying. At the very least she doesn't want to wear those things for OP, but they are kept in a place where they're readily available, which suggests that she wants to wear them for someone.
Now, it is possible that she only wears them for herself. meaning she doesn't wear them for anyone else, but even still, at the very least there needs to be a conversation
I'm not going to say what she is doing, but I have severe anxiety and terrible self esteem. I'd be the type to buy things that my partner has mentioned being a turn on, and then looking at it, or trying it on and then immediately being like "no, no, I'd just ruin it." And stock pile it instead of wearing it for them. I don't know their story by any means, but it *could* be just confidence issue?
*lingerie
@@lillylovegood2300 that could be it, I've done something similar, though I usually hide it if I'm that against it
@@LoudAngryJerk it's not "being against it" it's being against it being on yourself. Plus it was in her office, not in a shared space.
Then again, there's other things in the story.
@@lillylovegood2300 I didn't think about it being in her office. It could be that it just isnt hers. Helping a friend move maybe an ex boyfriend of the friend dropped it off for them and they're holding it.
There are options where it's not as bad as all I'm saying. Though, those are unlikely.
Last OP is falling for the sunk-cost fallacy, doesn’t matter if they’ve known each other since they were in diapers, she’s made it more than clear that she doesn’t want to be married.
Couldn't agree more
See it’s funny when people OP’s friends are like “oh you’re a monster, you deserve to be cheated on/ alone”. They wouldn’t say that if they were in this situation so I wouldn’t pay them any mind and if they want to side with her they too can gtfo of your life
Story 1: don't worry, darling, the first few weeks will be a honeymoon for him, and then she'll show the true reason he's there: money! By the time he gets home, he'll be the one begging to save the marriage, while you will have detoxed from him and can happily serve him divorce papers. 😊
Found an update to story 1: Wife said they attended 2 marriage counseling sessions before he left. She had a third one to one session with the psychologist who told her she had two options: wait or leave. In not so many words the therapist pushed her towards divorce because this wasn't salvageable. So it sounds like she's filing for divorce and all of their shared marriagle assets are frozen until things can be figured out.
The fact that the therapist had to push op into divorce says alot about op self esteem....
Story 1: There is no saving this marriage this poor woman is desperate. He's been emotionally cheating this entire time! He already made his choice, there is absolutely no hope for him. She is holding onto him way too tight especially if she thinks she's the issue.
Story 4: Initially I was thinking maybe she has some that she likes to wear occasionally but not for those times, just in general (I have a couple friends who do that), but then Op started talking about how she's putting in less effort, and how some of the things she has she's said in the past she found gross and yeah, I definitely don't blame Op for thinking something was up.
First story
What is worth saving there.. like for real. Even if he comes back and chooses OP, what would stop him from doing it again.
You shouldn't go, you should run to a lawyer OP
I mean, have you ever really loved someone?
It’s “for the children”, even though objectively the kids would be better off without watching their mother grovel for love from someone who obviously doesn’t love her or them.
@@Nerobyrnethis is absolutely a ridiculous thing to say. Being in love with someone doesn't mean that you lose dignity self-respect to be with them. And this is a desperation to be in a relationship. Even at the cost of yourself worth is so sad. And you need to tell them it's time to go. That they need to have some respect for not only themselves but their children. Do. They want their children growing up in a household where they think that's the way you're supposed to treat a spouse or even worse that that's the way you're supposed to allow us supposed to treat you. This mindset of well haven't you ever loved someone? Is the reason why pushing this false narrative of unconditional love in a relationship is so disgusting. Never love anybody unconditionally. Except for your children. But even that has conditions. There should be conditions for every relationship. It's not healthy to have no conditions. Those conditions could not cheat on me. Don't lie to me. Respect my boundaries. Don't be a child molester. All of those are conditional.
@@LLandS18 Hey I'm not saying that OP SHOULD stay married.
What her husband did was terrible.
I just meant that if you really love someone, then that's often something people will try to save even if the other person isn't worthy of that love.
@@Nerobyrneyeah, but asking if you've ever been in love pushes this false narrative that being in love is an excuse a reason or a justification to allow anybody to take away yourself worth. It's not. In fact, when our friends or family members are loved, ones are in a relationship with her giving up their self-worth. If we truly care about these people, it's our job to gently tell them that being in this relationship is not worth it.
I will forever stand by what my grandmother said. She was a world war II nurse. She was in the trenches with the men. She married my grandfather. She continued to work after she had her children. This woman was a was a groundbreaker here in my little province. And what She always told me my cousin's male and female. Is you never ever let anyone no matter how long you've known them, how much you love them, have control of your finances, your credit, your self-worth or your birth control. And then this story this woman has allowed him to have control of at least 3 of those. Her finance, her credit and her self-worth.
The lingerie story could be cheating or onlyfans or something but it's impossible to say without more context or evidence. Women (and men too for that matter) can be extremely self conscious of their bodies but they still want to look and feel sexy, it's just very difficult for them to express it. I have an ex that was the same way. She had quite an impressive stash of things she would never wear in public and didn't wear around me either for a long time. It took quite a while for her to get comfortable enough to wear such things around me. This really isn't that unusual. The bigger red flag is that she is being more distant with you. You two really need to have a talk. A concerned but loving talk, not throwing around accusations with no real evidence.
Except there is more context.
She’s said she’s disgusted by the costumes she has, and even LAUGHED at the idea of wearing stuff when Op brought it up. But on top of that: it appears that she’s withholding intimacy.
Unfortunately, this is a common pattern of behavior with serial-cheaters.
@@RealCoolstriker64the withholding out on intimacy is the main indicator.
Some people lie about things they find gross to surprise their partners though. Or the idea is gross, but upon realizing that it's not like "oh, into the idea behind the outfit, it's just the type of skirt/ECT" they might want to at least see how it looks on em.
Cheating or onlyfans both are valid reasons to toss out the trash
Onlyfans without your partners consent and/or knowlegde is basically cheating.
@@chronobretz9511 Never said otherwise but he doesn't know that it is the case. It's a possibility, even a likelihood but not a certainty.
So it's Thailand so in all likelihood it's a scam, I hope she has the wherewithal to freeze all their joint accounts because there going to get drained.
rSlash missed the updates to the first story, which gives a much more satisfying resolution:
"
Edit: here’s what occurred with the marriage counseling: Husband was willing to attend 2 sessions with a marriage counselor via Zoom. True, Christian marriage counselors are there to help keep your marriage intact because there’s a million solvable issues that doesn’t need to end in divorce, even infidelity. There has to be immense work put in and the infidel has to be remorseful. The therapist was very good - he dug into his past and our past to unearth why he’s doing what he’s doing. I agree that I could’ve been more affectionate. What can be done in 2 sessions.. I’m amazed of what came out of it though. Therapist had to tread lightly so hubby doesn’t rage and leave. I had a session after the husband left and the therapist shook his head holding back tears. Maybe he felt like he failed, I don’t know but it was a battle that probably couldn’t have been won. I hadn’t eaten for weeks and I didn’t feel hunger pains. I just felt the tears streaming down my face. That was the only thing that felt warm. He told me what I said above and said he’s just going through the motions. He said what you precious redditors said - to get my ducks in a row, and be courageous- that I have 2 options- to wait and see or consult an attorney now so that no more marital assets are being used up. To be careful healthwise which is very good advice.
EDIT: thank you so so much everybody for all of your advice and support and comments; I’m reading every single one and with tears. I wish I could thank you individually. The comments from children that are now adults that this same issue has happened to; you’re so strong. Your mom is a hero.
My mind is so much clearer even through the numbness and I feel so much more empowered. I hope this helps someone out there with relationship issue see it for the reality that it is. I also hope it changes the mind of someone thinking about cheating to rethink about how it affects the family and loved one.
Literally every comment is telling me to run. I’ve got to think about my kids and it’s obvious I’ve got to walk away. Everybody in my life is saying it, I’m just in disbelief. All our hopes dreams happiness and building a life together is shattered. Literally we were a happy family just months ago, how did he just “turn” completely 180? He has made me completely worthless just because someone “better” came along.
Im so hurt that it hurts and he’s done a lot of damage to me but I am going to take this opportunity to focus on myself, rebuild and work out what direction I want to to take in life now. The assets are frozen and am exploring my legal options. So I may not be able to respond for a few. I’ve got to take some time to heal, raise the kids and deal with this.
Thank you so so much for all your time reading and commenting. I really appreciate and needed this!! Thank you.
"
Well he does do the reading in advance so give him some credit
@@ZeroXBlossom Yes, no judgment here! I do wish he'd do more updates, though. That'd make a great vid!
Thanks for posting the update!
I'm glad she finally realized what she should do. Thanks for the update!
This actually draws more concerns from me. She went to a Christian marriage counselor who is trying to save something that is obviously beyond saving, even telling her that she should have been more affectionate to try and keep him, while also trying not to set him off and make him leave, which tells me that they think the husband isn't in the wrong for straying, but that the wife is in the wrong for not doing better to keep her man, that it's her fault he's leaving for another woman, which is absolute garbage.
Story 4: the Schoolgirl outfit and the comment about it from her are what make me think she's cheating, not the rest of it. You ever dealt with someone who's hiding something? they'll go overkill on it at times. 'I find it disguisting' but have one and use it anyway tracks.
she's cheating. probably loving that exact outfit
Personally, I think dating the person who’s willing to make accusations like that is a terrible idea because she could… you know, do that to you?
My Uncle would joke he had 2 wives. His first was a yellow lovebird I bought for him as a pet. RIP Horus (the lovebird)
Story 1: Self respect is a thing and I hope this OP finds some. Good luck
No, I don't think she needs to find anyone. I think she needs to find herself. She needs to work out why she thinks it's okay to allow herself to be treated like this. It's like my grandmother always said. Never let anyone no matter how long you've known them, how much you love them, have control of your finance, your credit, your self-worth or your birth control. And if your partner has a problem with any of those things, they're not worth being with. Because they don't respect you. And she's let him have control of at least three of those. Herself worth her credit and her finances.
@@LLandS18 I didn't say find someone else. I said find some self-respect
Story 4: My friend found out his ex was cheating because of lingerie she never wore for him. Definitely a huge red flag.
“I found my gf’s secret lingerie, am I wrong for thinking something is fishy here?”
Sounds like she needs to wash them 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol! Gross
Rslash yesterday: what was very clearly obvious that the husband is cheating even though all the evidence of circumstantial and there's no solid proof!
Also Rslash: what was very clear that this person isn't cheating even though she has loads of lingerie and there's tons of circumstantial evidence and no real solid proof
Story1 There is nothing to save. He's taken a 2nd wife and stated quite clearly that op needs to behave if she wants a chance to be chosen. That marriage is more than over. If op is smart, she'll begin divorce proceedings while he's gone.
*Daaaaaammnnn. Op has NO spine. That level of groveling gives me second hand embarrassment.
Story 1, I really think the "girlfriend" in Thailand is a scammer and will most likely end up with his identity stolen, drained of money or at the worse end up in a tub full of ice with his kidneys or other organs missing..... 😮
44 seconds and we alreaady eating
Yah
I literally just had breakfast
Popcorn be good
@@Floofie_boi Wendy's also be good
@@chriscarpenter3370 true that.
Online dating: Whoa, I really wonder what caused this. It looks like she doesn't want to put effort in the kids either, and it seems that the kids have accepted this.
The wife shameless, I hope she doesn't ever come back and expect things to be back to normal
OP number 5--lingerie OP--isn't asking if his partner is cheating, he's asking if it's fishy that she has all of surprise lingerie. And the answer is YES! It's fishy.
My bet is that she is doing only fans. I just got that vibe.
Especially since it’s about things she’s explicitly said she “thought were gross.”
No it's not. I've been the girl in the story. I think lingerie is weird and kinda gross. But I bought some to wear for my bf. It took a long time to get comfy with the idea of flaunting my cellulite and left them stashed with the tags still on. It's a case of the more op pushes, the less she wants to do it. Op needs to let her get there on her own terms.
@@rochie4865 while that's understandable, the problem is without that context, it just looks really bad. OP has to have a talk with her about it because if she isn't doing anything, OP needs to know that otherwise this is just gonna make him distrust her because he doesn't know what's going on, but if she is doing something without telling him, he has every right to know. It's also not like it was just a couple pairs or something, It sounds like it was a drawer full of stuff, like way more than someone just trying to get comfortable with the stuff, but the tags still being on some of them does make me hesitant to jump to cheating or anything, which is why they need to have that talk. Either way, till they talk, one of them is gonna be sitting there constantly worrying about something they're to afraid to ask about, while the other, whether it's innocent or not, is still hiding something, and their partner knows it
@@rochie4865 Uhm, why did you choose not to communicate that with your significant other?
That's kinda the whole problem with such things, not communicating properly.
1st story: I'll be damned if I sat around and let him decide who he wants. I'd take myself out of the equation. Let the other woman have him.
2nd story: Damn. That's all I can say about this one. Poor dude.
Story 1: He’s already chosen his love
Story Two: OP had no obligation to her. At that point, she is just a random person. TBH, I think it depends on the kind of area they live in. I don't think talking about getting back together with your ex or sexting or whatever means you should be raped and killed, or possibly catch hypothermia and die in the rain.
So I don't think he deserves a butthole score because if some strange girl came up and asked to wait for a ride in the rain he's under no obligation to help, but like it would have been a nice move to let her stay safe.
Back at the AITA's sister location?
Story 1: make the decision easier for him, when he comes home don’t let him talk, just say “I don’t care who you picked, it’s over, we’re divorcing” and walk out into the sunset before he even gets a chance to defend himself
Story 1) girl, choose for him. Let him come home to divorce papers and his stuff on the lawn.
Man... story 2 made me giggle.
Basically this-
Her: I don't know if i can trust you ever since you cheated on me.
Her ex: I'm single.
Her: Yeah but you're supposed to prove to me that I can trust you.
Her ex: Don't you have a bf?
Her: yes but-
Girlie.
How are you gonna act hurt about your ex cheating, than do the same thing while trying to get back with said ex.
Story 1: op's self steem is six feet under.
Hey there rslash...
There are 2 stories that I'm hoping that updates will happen. The first story of course, to see if OP takes steps to do things like... change the locks, file for a divorce, and so. Also, to see if her husband comes back saying he picked her, or him not saying anything and just walking in as if nothing happened. In that case, I'm hoping for the change of locks, causing him to be pulling on a locked door .... calling out "Hey what's this, come on let me in" .. lol.
The other story, is the one where OP finds a stash of his girlfriend's lingerie in a drawer of her office (if I remember right). Which he mentioned that, she said in the past that she doesn't like wearing such things. I'm thinking that in a possible update for that, while she is away. He could take all the lingerie he found, put them in a box and hide them somewhere.... then when she comes back, wait to see if she mentions the missing items. Which he could reply with something like... "What lingerie ??? You keep telling me that you don't like wearing such things."
Lingerie might not be 100% cheating. My wife had never worn lingerie for me, but I found over 6 outfits in her closet. Specifically with tags still on some like op. I instantly got cheating red flags and confronted her. What it ended up being is that she belts like the spice was dying as well and to help. She bought some of the lingerie and was testing out the fits and just things that she might like before trying them on for me, and that's why she also still had tags on them
I’m hoping it’s a case of, after the conversation in which she said schoolgirl outfits were “gross,” she got to thinking, “Hmm, I guess I haven’t been doing as much as I could to keep the romance spicy. Maybe I’ll try the schoolgirl thing with BF even though it’s not my jam, since he seems to be into that” . . . and she just hasn’t mustered up the courage to spring it on BF yet. Probably not likely, but I hope, ‘cause OP seems like a decent fellow.
I wish to leave the realm of crab as a pickle flavored blanket and bestow the greatness of crabology to my fellow rslashers.
Crab is love. Crab is life.
Its all crustacean now.
All life will become crab
Praise and glory to crab. Hail crab!
Abd my farts will kill the world ! Crabs Fart are Pain, Crab Farts are Death.
@@MathieuDuval those sound painful but you should evolve with me son.
I got only 9 problems but crab farts ain't one.
🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
She made her choice and those are the consequences. Maybe don't be in contact with your ex if you don't want your current relationship to fall apart and you're stuck in the rain waiting 2 hours for a ride
She can talk with her ex, but not the way she was doing, because she wasn't only talking she admited that she want to f*** him and insult the OP, because only talking doesn't do nothing, but action or thing that what said can be a problem.
I'm in contact with a few of my exes.
However, I'm adult enough to not try to secure some side-V from my exes WHILE I'M WITH SOMEONE ELSE!
What makes this even worse for her is that I'm one of those people that doesn't even feel jealous. But I love my partner enough to not do that, even if I wouldn't care if they did.
And if you're saving letters , because you're passionate about letter and handwriting, make sure you have them saved in some different place.
GEtting rid of them is also an option.
Has anyone else noticed how much rougher rslash is treating people lately? I swear he either is starting to get fed up with all the cheating stories or something is brewing in his real life (not talking about his wife btw)
It could be reading all these stories. I quit reading those subreddits because they were just so negative all the time and i was sick of having that in my life.
I personally wouldn't care if he quit reading then. I love the malicious compliance and the pro revenge ones. So i wouldn't mind at all if he quit with the a hole ones and cheating ones.
Agreed. At times it sounds toxic- lying, manipulation, cheating, etc. I find myself feeling cynical and jaded, wondering how anyone has a healthy relationship.
Glad I'm not the only one who noticed. It's been brewing for a while but this episode especially was just filled with vitriol. Like I was thinking, um maybe some therapy might be in order...
@@maridoerksen8342it's a little easier to listen to them when surrounded by friends and family with healthy, solid relationships because it keeps you grounded. Like I'm happily married and my parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in just a few weeks. But even then you should only consume this content in relatively small doses. It's wearing.
@rapheAltoid77, I have been around a variety of relationships. My parents are going into 54 years. They celebrated 25 & 50 with a trip to Europe. I am currently working through an outpatient addiction program to get my poop in a group. I just need to lessen my online time.
Morning! Look yall... today WILL be a GOOD DAY! We're gonna clock in, it's gonna go smooth, and we are gonna clock out and enjoy the rest of our day. Sending good energy everyone's direction. 😇
Thanks man i really appreciate it
Thank you! 😊
Story 1. Go and talk with ALL the divorce lawyers in town, then sue him for everything and make it impossible for him to go back to her.
“He said he’ll be back and he’ll choose between me or her”
It’s totally unfair to expect OP to wait for 2 months for his decision, which might not go in her favour anyway. Not worth saving, I’d change the locks and leave his shit on the porch
Update on that first story. She leaving him.
A friend of mine had the worst case of child abuse in our state. Then they find out that the father that date all this abuse had a second family on the opposite side of the country. Cause he would take off stay for a week. Leave Is Four Two weeks then come back. And now the father is with the second family. Because his wife was younger than him i'm talking twenty years difference. Which is weird because they met their stuff or kids. And they kind of got along. But it still does not change the fact that my friend has a huge scar on her face from her own father. Her sister lost a few digits on one hand from her father. And nobody did anything until this one guy showed up and took care of the mother and the kids into their house then called the mainland because they lived on an island. Everyone on the island knew what was going on but did nothing. It's one guy he saved them. And to this day they call him their guard father.
Story 1: I feel it's safe to assume "I'll choose between you and her when I get home" translates to "if things don't go well with her, we'll get back together."
In which case, OP is his backup plan. He knows she's waiting and hoping he'll choose her. If this new woman doesn't work out, then he can go back to what he had. Oh and, if he's willing to do this once, there's a chance it'll happen again.
I'd kinda like to know what, if anything, led OP 1's husband to do this. Are we missing a big chunk of background info or is she just finding out he's a sneaky cheating prick?
Story 1 is a marriage that can't be saved. He's already jumped ship. So OP should just start divorce proceedings. If he can afford a two-month trip overseas, he can afford child support.
7:50 for the lingerie story, if the stash has multiple things he brought up in the past, maybe she’s planning on surprising him with it. I know that’s extremely optimistic and unlikely, but it is a possibility, however small…
Story #4: "swamp ass" 😃
🤣 I'm gonna have to steal that one. 🤣
Story 1: A few months later, there'll be a AITA post where OP laughs when OP's husband comes back after being scammed hard.
7:40 This girl was willing to ruin a very close and affectionate relationship with a borderline family member just so she could isolate him from the aunt and date him. Dating her is a horrible idea.
S1: I was hoping for an update to this story because if the chose to wait for her cheating husband’s return then she’s getting exactly what she deserves for wanting to stay married to that ahole while using her kids as an excuse.
I’m hoping that she grew a backbone and filed for divorce and got total custody of their kids, alimony and the house.
Basically I hope that she took him to the cleaners for shitting on his family.
The way my mouth hung open after op said they wanted to "fix it" in the first story 😱
My friend's old BF tried this when her friend left her for a "woman" over seas ( and she broke up with him and started dating his best friend, who she is married to now) and the ex came back telling her the woman was a man and he wanted her back. My friend laughed in his face and didn't look back
Story 4: Given the fact that the gf has said that she thinks roleplay is gross, but she still has a secret stash of outfits and lingerie means one of 2 things to me. 1. She's storing the stuff for a friend who is into that, unlikely.
2. She's experimenting with that sort of kink with someone else. Far more likely since she's basically stopped sleeping with OP.
The first dude is about to find out that some women in Thailand who have a relationship like his have more than one boyfriend that takes care of them.
Lingerie Stash: She's cheating, boot that 304 out.
Story5: OP should have talked to a lawyer first, to ensure his actions maximized full custody of the kids. The Ex may have no current intention of claiming them, but that has a high chance of changing in the future.
Leaving for months at a time to have flings and not try and contact your own kids never looks good in court though.
Story 1: the marriage cannot be saved. If my husband said this to me and said he would be back, I would have let him go. Then while he was away, I would have gotten a divorce lawyer, moved out with the kids and told his parents what happened. Op don’t let this selfish man string you along more than what he has.
Story 2 just BLEW my mind. The conversation started out normal, then fucking turned so rapidly.
“What do I do???” Go to the cops and report him for abandoning your child. Then get a lawyer.
The dude in the 1st story is gunna come back from Thailand broke and begging OP to keep him
Thailand one: wait until he comes home after being catfished, then tell him you're getting divorced. The rain one: There is a vast difference between infidelity and risking someone's life. Cheating is not a death penalty crime, although men act like it is. The lingerie one: It might not fit any more and she doesn't have self confidence now.
It’s obvious he made his choice, if the guy can afford to visit his mistress for 2 months, than he has enough money to cover alimony and child support.
Story 1: Just get a lawyer and divorce. How is this even a conflict? He's leaving to go have a trial run with someone else and is only using OP as a fall back if things don't work out. Even if he "picks" OP it's only because things didn't work out and she'll just be showing him he can use her as a fall back. She needs to get some self esteem and divorce him. As far as the kids are concerned, does she really want to teach them that what he's doing and how she's being treated are acceptable in a relationship?
Bestie is very jealous and you were right to laugh at that.
Story 1: Quote “if they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice”. Divorce young lady, divorce. There’s no coming back from this.
5:33 OP would be a bullet dodged, the amount of energy he's exerting. He needs not having been hostile nor jealous over his girlfriend.
Story 1: I'm so angry listening to this story. The guy is willing to abandon his children and didn't have the decency to divorce his wife ahead of time.
Story 2: OP isn't wrong at all. The GF was using him as a meal ticket.
Story 1: the man spending harder money that could go to your kids to stay in a five-star hotel out of country for 2 months for some internet b*tch will a 50/50 chance of being real. He looked you dead in the face and said he will make a decision when he gets back not because he loves you but because he knows you're so desperate you'll actually wait for him making you his safety net in case it doesn't work out. I'm not going to pretend being a single mom isn't going to be hard, no way is it better than staying in the marriage where he has so little respect for you he doesn't care if you know he cheating on you. Collect evidence get child support go to a trusted friend or relatives place, get some help to come up with a plan because even if he does pick you he'll probably look for the next girl.
If you don't want to be out in the dark and rain, don't belong to the streets.
Story 1: I hate this because this weirdly hit too close to home.
OP, if you ever read this, you need to walk away. As much as you love him, the turmoil will be so much to bare and I believe he's only saying this because if things don't work out between him and this other woman, then he has "someone to settle for". No one should feel like they're placed on a list of options, especially when both of you are this close.
There's a quote I heard when I was a kid and it still sticks with me, especially today: Either you choose me or you lose me. He seems to have already decided his choices, now it's up to you to make your move and step away from this man.
Story 1: The only solution, is to not be there when he comes back.
story 1: that man has no intention of ever coming back. he's just going to keep stringing her along until the other woman gets tired of him
S1: I'm convinced that he's only keeping Op on the waitlist so if things don't work out with this other woman, he has a cushy life to fall back to until he finds rhe next "love of his life". Op needs to wake up and realize that there isn't a marriage to fix anymore. The dude all but left her in all ways except an official divorce. I feel bad for the kids man cause if he can leave them behind without batting an eye, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he abandons them outright for a "redo" family.
This video was just r/relationships in disguise xD
Story 1 : Nothing op ... you can do nothing ... move on... he moved on to be with that woman in Thailand you need to move on as well..
Story 2 : Not wrong.. let her get the closure she wants. Somewhere else and not waste your time ...
Story 3 : not wrong.. op " friend" is a creep for that suggestion..
Update: shocking..the friend had a thing for op ..shocking.. ( not really)..
Story 4 : Double life alert Double life alert..
Story 5 : " long distance relationship" i stopped paying attention after that.. this marriage is a failure already.. op your not a bad husband its a bad wife ..
Accusing someone else of Grooming just because you’re jealous is imo, a huge red flag. Like, you couldn’t just ask them out? Or show that you’re interested? Why is your instinct to accuse someone of being a creep? I feel like OP should have run for the hills after learning what that girl did in the name of “jealousy”. If she’s willing to do this, what other forms of toxic jealousy would she do once your “hers”
Story 1: "I'll let you know what I decide in 2 months, when I have checked she's not a catfish"
Nope, piss him off. If he is love with someone else now, he was never in love with you. If he was in love with you, he wouldn't have strayed.
Story 6: Long distance marriage... dont be shocked.
For story number 2. He was absolutely 💯 right to want her out.
But she's still a human, it was raining, and while he didn't have to take her safety into consideration, it wouldn't have made him less of a man for doing so.
Story 1: there's absolutely no hope, talk to any and every divorce lawyer before she decides so there won't be any impartial ones available for the scumbag "husband"
Story 1: Why would she WANT to save this marriage? He doesn't love her and never did.
Last story: if my husband took my kids and ghosted me and I couldn’t reach my babies I’d be calling the cops and banging down his door. It’s been months and it doesn’t even sound like she has tried to see her kids. OP is not the AH and he needs to file for divorce and full custody ASAP.
Story one let's hope guy gets to Thailand to find out its a romance scam and he's really been talking to some guy 🤣🤣🤣
And gets the prison rat treatment....
5th story: What?, friends in a 'dating' site after finding out an emotional affair?, my man,you need to let go of the copium.
There is a reason 'Once a cheater,always a cheater' is still alive and well.
His only mistake is no divorcing her a-s frame 1.
Story 1: How do I fix this marriage?
Nothing, it's not resuscitation at this point, it's necromancy.
Get a divorce lawyer. And you might also want to report him for bigamy and get his Thailand marriage annulled too.
“he loves me but he’s not in love with me” sounds way too familiar. my dad told me that he loves me because he has to, but he doesn’t like me.
let him leave. he’s not worth it, op.
If I was OP, I wouldn't even be interested in saving my marriage with this man. I'd be looking into divorce attorneys. As a woman, I can't understand why other women will lower themselves and grovel at the feet of their husbands in an attempt to keep the man versus realising that they are worth more than that.
Also, it is never the fault of the wronged spouse when they find out their significant other is cheating on them.