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I need to motion to consolidate my child support, what can I do, how can I do that?

This was my life. Then i married a narcissist

Thanks for your insight. Do you have any tips on how to navigate this from a legal perspective? Or do you just not worry about any of that and simply go no contact? At the moment, I’m legally responsible for her and considering how she’s treating me, I want this to stop.

Growing up, my mother reminded me every day that she didn't want to have girls. I was never good enough to do anything. She would point out that I needed to be more like Lisa, Mary Kay, or Lori. When I was 22, I had my first child. I had a son. From the day ha was born, she and my dad interfered with the raising of my son. I couldn't do anything right. Then she would tell our friends that I wouldn't take care of him. They even took me to court and lied. I am now 64 years old, and I don't have a relationship with my family because of my mother. My son doesn't want to have anything to do with me because she has brainwashed his mind. Back in 2019, I stopped contacting her, and I feel so much better, emotionally and mentally. I'm just finding out that my mother is a narcissist. She's still up to her tricks. A couple of months ago, she contacted my husband, claiming that she is going to have a Will and Trust made out and needs someone to pull the plug. She always beats around the bush instead of coming to the point. I told my husband to make her text you what she wants from you. I've learned to have proof where she's concerned. Needless to say, we never heard from her lawyer. She just wanted to know where we lived.

This starts when the daughter is an infant. You should start there. Daughters know all this stuff already, they lived it. Daughters need the whole story.

The brother thing. It was so confusing and I admit even as I've progressed in my own healing I really didn't understand why I was treated so differently from my brothers more like my step sister. She and the rest of my family of origin claimed her treatment of my sister was because she wasn't blood okay bad reason but a reason but not only was I blood but I had to come around with being okay seeing my abuser in the mirror at times because I look like mine. I was the smart did well in school kid tried my best not to be a bother but got punished for Bs and sometimes A minuses but my brothers got praised for c's and money dude I was so confused. I kind of thought she was masoganysitic but maybe it really was this weird competition she felt with me. I mean it would explain why when I was in my 30s and revealed a promotion and raise amount I got which was less then my brothers made she made a point of going into her work and getting a raise her self although I didn't know or care that she was making less then that. I just was happy I could stop working so much overtime and still make my bills.

YES! You just described my life in a nutshell. I grew up between TWO brothers... I'm 61 this year; Mother passed away in 2020 and the situation NEVER changed. Until the day she died, I hoped and prayed and wished for a loving relationship with her. It NEVER happened. I find it so difficult to find self-love and acceptance when I'm a child even my own mother could not love. To all my sisters in pain out there, there is hope in God. HE alone has sustained me, carried me, guided me, and LOVED ME all these years. I still feel, sadly, I have a long way to go but I'm grateful for the hope and love that I have in HIM. I send you all warm, sincere love today.

🙏

You described what I have been through so well, my mother is a wounded narcissist who suffered physical and emotional abuse, I was her scapegoat as the eldest child, and yes, my brother who has not achieved what I have, can do no wrong, yet anything I am successful in, it is almost as though she is jealous. I decided a long time ago that she wasn’t worth the stress, pain and heartbreak she caused me. And she caused me a lot. I have wrinkles in my face from crying so much over her constant rejection and narcissistic abuse. After many years of therapy and somatic healing and sound healing and other therapies such as EFT and Enlightenment Intensive with diads, I no longer blame myself for her violence and moods. I have spent thousands, and I mean, thousands of pounds over the past 20 years trying to heal the wounds my narcisstic Mother inflicted. She would smile when I was upset. She enjoyed it. She had a special face of ‘glee’ whenever I was upset about anything, including when she had just upset me. If she beat me, and I cried, she would tell me to shut up or she would give me something to really cry over. A favourite of hers was what she called a ‘knuckle sandwich’, which is a backhand to the mouth. I lost my own voice for years and could not stand up for myself because my voice, whenever protesting or showing any upset or heart break or crying, my voice would get stuck in my throat, the memory of having my voice smacked back into my being. In my teens I was sexually assaulted and didn’t tell anyone, because I know she would have felt I deserved it, because I was the scapegoat and the Cinderella and she blamed me for everything. Years later, in therapy, I realised that her not believing me was a real fear, and so I never told anyone, until PTSD hit me full force about 15 years later. She tried to ruin relationships for me by bad mouthing me. No hugs or love when I was growing up. I’m surprised I’ve turned out as ok as I have after being broken for so many years. But now I speak up. Now I am no longer afraid of a backhand in the mouth or being grabbed by the hair and having my head rammed into the kitchen wall. I understand as a mature adult that you CHOOSE whether you are going to be in a mood and take it out on those around you. You have the choice to not project nastiness and violence onto others. She is a wounded vain narcissist and has projected so much onto so many people, so much emotional and physical abuse, thought I was actually crazy in my teens as I internalised everything and turned to self harm and became bulimic, which I now would never do. I have learned that my body is a precious vessel to carry me through life with grace, even though she thought the one things I were good for were as a punchbag or recipient to her screaming and shouting and put downs. I was lucky though. Lucky enough to find a guardian Angel in my late teens who always wanted a daughter, and who helped me to see the crooked, twisted, damaged and at times evil mind, of my birth mum. and I was lucky enough to cultivate a healthy and loving and supportive relationship with my guardian Angel Mum to the point of her saying she couldn’t have hand picked a better daughter. The difference in the relationships was unbelievable. My birth Mum I felt truly hated me. My guardian Angel Mum, full of hugs and kindness to all living things, and supportive to so many. And I feel lucky and blessed to have had my guardian Angel Momma in my life. She genuinely made me who I am today with her quiet and endless encouraging and support. How grateful I am to have found a Momma who actually wanted me and told me I was a gift from God to her. I could cry still now thinking back. My guardian Angel Momma died 18 months ago. I was devastated. I mean like, could not pick myself up from the floor and had to take considerable time off work. And ended up in what’s known as complicated grief, as after guardian Angel Mom died, I suddenly felt unsafe again in the world, and all of the abuse and trauma resurfaced from my childhood, and I was wandering about feeling like an unloved and abused and traumatised 7 year old again. I then ended up having a nervous breakdown and taking time out from my career to properly address the abuse from my childhood, and to grieve the Momma who actually wanted me and loved me as her own. Guardian Angel Mum, thank you for everything. May heaven be a happy home for you until I join you some day. God bless you for sharing this video. Narcisstic abuse from your birth Mother is literally the worst. I ended up repeating the pattern of being with a narcissist in my marriage and a number of romantic relationships and friendships. Through mountains of therapy and other healing modalities I’ve mentioned above, alongside meditation and yoga, I now feel at peace, but this only arrived earlier this year, and I’m now in my late forties. Words of advice for anyone out there, just walk away from narcissists and go no contact. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel bad. Don’t feel it’s your responsibility to ‘fix’ everything for them. They should feel guilt and shame for their words and actions but the never do, they just tell you that you deserve all the shit they’re throwing at you. I have cut so many people from my life after realising I was repeating the same patterns, which is a HSP Empath trying to make everything better for the narcs. Don’t try to help them. You will only exhaust yourself and they will only use your help against you at a time when it suits them to sabotage you. I really wish I’d had seen video content like this many, many years ago. I’d have suffered far, far less had I had the knowledge of what a narcissist is. Thank you so much for sharing this with the world. Loving Daughters of cruel, narcissistic Mothers really need to hear this content. 🙏❤️✨ Thank you millions. And bless you with all the love and grace of the universe. Namaste. 🙏

As a teen, my mother told me "i should have aborted you when i had the chance". As an adult, she said, "if could do it all over again, i wouldnt have had kids" ... I finally disowned her last month. She's a terrible person. When i mentioned my daughter is starting to look more like me, my mother said "thats okay i still think she's beautiful anyway" .... like to say im ugly. She was very rude when i lost a lot of weight in a healthy way and talked about other people who lost more weight. And now that i weigh less than her she has been even worse She raised my nephew and he is her "golden child" despite he doesnt do anything around the house...he's an adult now...she even told me if she buys a house he would get it when she dies. Well thats fine i dont want anything from her but its like...i have a successful marriage, 4 kids, i live across the US from her and i dont ever ask her or the family for anything bc we are on our own 2 feet and dont need anyone. But im not good enough. My sister lost all her kids to the state, a criminal record a mile long and is just a terrible human being (basically the same as my mother)...and yet my mother treats her better and brags to me about all the stuff she gets for her when i didnt even get a birthday card. She definitely hates me but she has people thinking she has a "heart of gold" ... bc she "helps" others and brags about it all. Ugghhh its infuriating!!! 😢

This, unfortunately, described my mom's relationship with me. She totally favored my brother and hurt me at a tender age. Not only does my brother deny this was reality, but when she died, I tried to explain to him how I was treated he responded with, "She was an angel!" It figures. Even after was married with children, she still always called me a 'little girl'. 🙄😤😡 So many other things. I just wish I could have a relationship with my brother, but bc of dysfunctional family dynamics, he just won't make the effort, even as a Christian person. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 💔😢😞😭

Thank you sweetheart

She tried to destroy my life. And she damn near succeeded. And it’s all my fault (sarcasm). There was a brother - a 10x felon- who she supported emotionally and financially. My glass half full about this is that while tormented by her, I am fiercely independent. Never able to marry or have children, but glass half full: never experienced divor😢ce. Can’t change any of this…. Need to let go.

My mother is a Narcissist, she is like this in every way.

So very True 👍

Great content, but you need to work on the video editing because the multitude of cuts is distracting.

Great content, but you need to work on the video editing because the multitude of cuts is distracting.

My narcissistic mother has criticized my appearance for decades. She has screamed things like "nobody cares about you". I recently went through cancer and chemotherapy. On the way to my first biopsy she wanted to be the center of attention in the car, and repeatedly picked fights with me. After my port removal surgery last fall, she again had to be the center of attention on the ride home and talked nonstop even though I had repeatedly asked for quiet after just going through surgery. I am 100% certain she was excited for me to lose my hair due to chemo. Luckily I did not lose all my hair, which I'm sure disappointed her.

They will say ANYTHING to make you look bad.

She turned my daughters trans. They think they can be boys. From tom boys to trans? Wtf

I alway enjoy your content.

I’d like to discuss offering my story of a malignant covert vulnerable often viciously violent mother and also kind woman at times. Including the generational damages and the fight for my life. If desired contact me.

My narcissistic mother-in-law gets her daughters and (mostly) her grand-daughters to compete with each other. They're all unaware they're doing it. She's groomed the grand-daughters to complain about their mums and each other and created division. Glad I kept my kids at a distance or she'd be doing the same to me. She still talks about me though. Story - when her grandson (who lives 100s of miles away) got married, the family sent me the photo album to show to mother-in-law. As I'm showing her the beautiful pics, admiring dresses, flowers etc. she talked about herself and barely glanced at them. Suddenly she got excited when she spotted grandson's other grandma. Then she said "Dear God! what a lot of wrinkles she's got now. She wasn't like that last time I saw her. I mean, am I as bad as that? I don't think so. My skin is a lot smoother... blah, blah"

She conditioned me to undermine myself, to try to avoid criticism and physical attacks. Still trying to overcome this at 51yo.

My mother accused me of having sex with my father 😢

Thanks

Thanks, you’re a joy to hear.

56 years old and you are PERFECTLY DESCRIBING MY WHOLE LIFE!!!! I completely cut her off a couple of years ago and will NEVER EVER EVER speak to her again. Thank you!!!!

My narcissistic stepmom is EXACTLY like you’re describing. She adopted my sister and I after marrying my dad. Her biological children always came first. She treated my stepbrother like a surrogate spouse, using him to correct us. He thinks he is God.

I'm a daughter who had a male sibling. There was no way of talking to her because she was extremely violent, but I was actually her slave. At 11 years old I was going to my brother's school to attend a teacher's meeting, she made it very clear I was nothing. Every single day. I was constantly abused and my brother constantly praised. She wouldn't even let me leave until I was 18. Now, she has dementia. My brother is calling and insisting I go to help. Isn't that funny? Come on and be abused a little more! And I will because I feel it's my duty as someone who has a conscience. However, my own life has never gone anywhere bc of everything she did to me. It took me nearly 40 years to wake up to the fact I wasn't to blame. I married someone exactly like her, so I lost it all. I have nothing left in me.

I was the oldest child... daughter..... I had a brutal relationship with my NM.... so did my brother.... but the youngest daughter was the Golden Child - she & my mother were 2 peas in a pod. I lost my brother to police PTSD suicide in 2009 - my mother contributed to it. My Dad died unexpectedly when I was 21.... my mother had been viscious and cruel to my Dad. Shortly after his death, my mother told me exactly how she felt about me. So not only did I lose my Dad but I just, in that moment, lost my Mother too. My Mother pitted the 3 of us against each other but she fed lies to the extended family about me.... and they all believed HER!!!! In later years (after intense therapy), I brought up all the shit she caused ... and of course, I was lying and made it all up. Im 65 now... retired police officer... a string of broken relationships behind me, and adult son who hates me (I raised him the opposite of how my mother parented - go figure). All I have to love and trust is my dog ❤

America justice is a business and its a big joke. BeCause More people go to jail means more money for people working in law firm. Its all about money.

Not just Lori (birth giver).. but also steve (birth giver) Lori called us 'enemies'.. And, Steve, when he was narcissitically raging at me, he would force me to look into his pitch black eyes (something Ted bundy had).. I could feel him looking through me.. he did look like he could kill me..

She is not alive anymore

I think my mother is Narsistic

If anyone complimented me on my looks, my mother would say something negative she believed I needed changing. As in: Mother's friend: "You look very nice today, honey." My mother: "She needs to have her hair cut." or "She needs to lose a few pounds." Always some way of diminishing me. Every time I walked into a room she was in, she would sigh, like I was a bother. Once, I called her out about it. I said "Why are you always sighing, Mom? Are you O.K.?" Her response: "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." She hit me, kicked out at me, and even beat me with an iron broom once, when I was a kid. I realized later, she could have killed me. The reason? I asked her for a quarter to pay back a school friend because I didn't have enough for the school lunch. (We were not poor.) She screamed, "Never a borrower or a lender be!" as he was hitting me. She was very popular, had every friend since grade school, adored their kids, made a lot of them, was always saying nice things to them about themselves that she never said to me. My father adored her. She never hit or yelled at me when he was home (he was out of the house five days a week.) Later in life, we did become friends. But the scars are still there.

Thank you so much 1st of all. U answered so many "problems I HAVE" in my life! I always thot my moms problems were bcuz she had brain cysts n I was just at the "right age" to take her abuse out onto. My 2 older brothers were able to get away as well as my sister. They were 16, 14, 10 respectively to my 4-5 yrs old and my baby brother was 2 yrs old. So in spite of my being innocent to the cause of her rage it was I who was beaten. I dont remember it but it was my mother n evil sister telling me how they looked down upon my welted back during my naps. And how several times my mother TOTALLY 4got me on Christmas n I got no presents at ALL where I claimed to not like Santa in tears cuz he didnt give me "noffing" as it was retold to me. Followed by snickers on "how cute the story was." Consequently I grew up walking around w/my hands in prayer as I was taught in my Catholic school. I tried so hard to be good b4 that got me nowhere fast so I rebelled as early as 12. The ONLY time I ever remember my mother showing me that she must really love me was after running away for 3 days I came home looking like sumthg the cat drug in! (1 of my mother expresssions ironically) n she actually rubbed my head for a second wen I layed in bed. Had sex at 13 w/my boyfriend WHO WAS 21 AT THE TIME! So blew past being a teenager right into womanhood. I grew up ATTRACTING Narcissist's repeatedly altho i didnt know it at the time and cud nvr understand why I wud allow all these LOSERS to mistreat me n not leave them? It was even a standard joke among the family that id pick the loser bus boy in a room full of successful men. And I picked up ALL the strays. Animals that needed love as well as people. When there was a medical dr interested in me I KNEW it cud nvr work bcuz i was not "Dr material" even tho I was very attractive, intelligent, loving, kind, understanding person w/a great sense of humor I knew I wasnt good enuf. Now just ending a 14 yr relationship w/a covert narc is how I'm just now at 62yrs old understanding HIS problems as well as my own. Incredible for me! Now I can actually 4give MYSELF. Thank u so much. Oh 1 last foot note if I may? All of my siblings hv passed on at an early age indirectly at their own hands either thru addictions as was w/my brothers. And my sister stressing so much about skin cancer n cell phones inspite of her precautions or BECUZ of got BOTH n passed at 51 yrs old. My father n mother were married for 66yrs b4 my dad passed at 86. Mom n I lived together where we actually got quite close b4 she passed at 93. As an adult my mother really only paid my sister n I any positive attention is when we were making good $$ n had good r.ships. But even then at times she showed jelousy.... so there u have it. Thank u 4 yr interest n yr guidance. Its greatly appreciated

One day, in the middle of the night, I was asking myself : your mother is only 15 years older than you, would you really spend your whole life trying to survive in front of this selfish, narcisitc, egocentric, cruel mother? The answer was no. I wrote her a letter, proposing peace and a new base for our relationship. I got one week later an answer: with one sentence "how dare you ?". I stopped all contact. 20 Years later, my 24 years old daughter contacted her. We met. Cold, distant, did not ask about my life. She gave me my letter back without any comments. She kept this letter for 20 years, just to give it back. Can you imagine ? I stayed polite. Called her by her first name. She was furious. At home, I burned the letter. The next time I will see her dead.

This video describes the situation so well, it’s very validating. Trusting people and women especially is very difficult but I feel the Lord helping me with heartbreak, forgiveness and discernment. I want to find a mother figure like the video suggests, God will send what I need I’m sure of it, I am going to be patient and enjoy the peace of healing. Praying for all the folks who’ve endured these circumstances, I love you all, pray for you all and deeply admire you all for never giving up.

That sibling bit is accurate af 😂 my mom will turn her back on me if it meant building up my brother

“Let it roll off your back..” (And also set aside $10k a year for Attorney fees.

"accidentally" came across this video! This touches on my specific situation. On my bookshelf for about 20 years has been the start of my seeking some bit of making sense of my life up until then. WHY MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS CAN'T BE FRIENDS. At that time not so much had been studied about narcissism. The author gave it her best shot. Fast forward, my mother has been gone for years now. But, my need to know what really was directing the movie I lived never left. Many, many good professionals later, I have come to understand the Narc, but this specific point of view is what clearly details what my life was from birth. Yes, birth. LAter I may explain that. To your point of adopting a surrogate mother, I had to laugh you! Were you a fly on my wall!? It happened organically. A sponsor in Al anon, on a phone call after a few years of friendship, said " no A, you can call me your 'other mother'; you already have a mother". I'd asked to call her mother. Still today, I say that she's the first one I want to see when I get to heaven 🕊️ Glad to find you and I'll be dropping by. Many thanks 💜

I have recently become aware that part of my childhood trauma was a narcissistic mother. I existed to make her look good. The one thing you said that absolutely blew me away was the part about a brother. I in fact had 6 brothers and because they were artistic and wildly successful in the world my mother idolized all of them. They made her look good and I was the disappointment. This is a huge piece to my puzzle. Thanks for your information. :)

Thank you for this video it truly helped alot.But l don't think the advice helped me alot. Hence l still stay with my mom & l am running my own business under her house.Worst part l have a 1 year old son.

My mother is a covert narc, dad the enabler, sister the invisible child and now the rescuer or flying monkey. My brother was the golden child who turned into a grandiose narc, very clever and violent to all. Went to prison five years for rape and assault. Still playing games and demanding family loyalty. I just went no contact with the lot of them a few weeks ago. Its been the best and worst time of my life. I dont plan on talking to them ever again.

Daughters in Law as well

Worse on daughter in law😊

It’s hard to get people to love and approve of you when they don’t love and approve of themselves game changer there for me! Narcissistic mothers hate themselves!

No contact 5 years! Scapegoat here! Best move and decision I’ve ever been able to make! My life is the life I’d only imagined! ❤