Overcoming the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse: Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Confidence
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 27. 07. 2024
- Overcoming the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse: Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Confidence
In this video, learn crucial strategies to heal and move forward after experiencing narcissistic abuse. Discover three powerful techniques to reclaim your life and rebuild your self-esteem and confidence.
Strategy 1: Taking a Significant Break from Relationships
One of the most important steps in healing from narcissistic abuse is to take a substantial break from entering into new relationships. Giving yourself time and space to focus on self-care and introspection is essential for healing and preventing further harm.
Strategy 2: Changing Your Internal Narrative
Unpacking the damaging beliefs instilled by narcissistic abuse is key to reclaiming your sense of self-worth. Learn how to challenge and replace negative internal narratives with empowering and self-affirming beliefs, fostering resilience and self-love.
Strategy 3: Establishing a Support Network
Building a strong support network of friends, family, or therapists is crucial for healing from narcissistic abuse. Surrounding yourself with understanding and compassionate individuals can provide validation, empathy, and guidance as you navigate the recovery process.
Watch this video to gain insights and practical tips on overcoming the impacts of narcissistic abuse and reclaiming your power, self esteem and confidence. Start your journey towards healing and transformation today.
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a mental health professional and although I am giving tips and advice on narcissism and narcissistic behaviors based on my own personal experience, none of what I'm saying should be considered mental health advice. You should always consult your own mental health professional for specific questions related to your situation.
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God bless you. I am really enjoying your videos and your tips. Thank you for sharing your story. The strategy of spending time with people who love me is what I am striving for now.
Thank you for this.
When I was about 3 years old, I remember when I put half of a bottle of baby powder on my head as I gazed in the mirror and then I turned around to my family in the room which includes my mother and said, "look, I'm blonde now!" My family laughed and my mother scolded at me for wasting the baby powder. As an adult , I thought why would a 3 year old do something like that?
As a mother, I learned that children often emulate others. Sometimes, children do things to please their parents, guardians, adults. I also think that was the beginning of the hatred my mom projected onto me.
As I grew up, I learned I'm living with both narcissistic parents. It was hell on earth.
Most children are very receptive and I perhaps picked up on my mother wanting me to be a White baby. I'm Asian.
My story is really long and complicated. For the last 30 + years of my life, my mother have told me that I'm ugly.
The only mirrors I have in my house are the ones in the bathrooms. I don't have mirrors anywhere else because I can't stand looking at myself.
She used to tell me I was fat, obese. Growing up at 5'7" tall, I weighed between 100-120 lbs. Whenever someone shows me a picture of myself, I couldn't even stand looking at myself in pictures. And when I do take long enough to look at myself in pictures, I used to think how obese I was. I still feel this way today.
I have been running away from my mother since I was 15. But she kept luring me back somehow. The first time I ran away, I lived with my high school sweetheart's home. I didn't realize how much I craved a good stable relationship with a parent or parents. I had a very good relationship with my high school sweethearts parents. At that age, I realized what I was missing in my life. When I broke up with my high school sweetheart, I not only grieved over our relationship, but I also grieved over my relationship with his parents. It was a very painful time of my life.
My mother discovered that I was living with him and somehow found out their phone number. She lured me back monetarily.
That was a long time ago. I recently stopped talking to my mother again when I sent her a picture of me and my children. She started criticizing me telling me that I may need to get a facelift. She took out $300,000 out of her equity of her home to pay for plastic surgery. She had plastic surgery from her face, neck, arms stomach, thighs, knees.
The house that she bought for $150,000 in the early 90s now has a $380,000 mortgage in 2024. She didn't care if she lose her house, she cared more about the Hollywood lifestyle, "looking" young.
But when she started criticizing me from the picture of me and my children, looking very happy because we were celebrating my birthday and it was captured on camera, I ended my relationship with her at that moment. And this time it'll be for good.
I'm done. I'm done allowing her or anyone abusing me.
I also broke up a relationship with an old childhood friend of mine who is also a narcissist. We didn't talk for about 8 years and all of a sudden she crept back into my life. She started becoming very abusive with me and I told her enough! I haven't spoken to her in 2 years it feels really good.
But looking back, I don't think I was as hideous as my mother told me I was. My high school sweetheart that I lived with when I ran away, he was voted the best looking boy in high school. How can an ugly duckling be with the best looking boy in high school?
Then I got married to a man who is also good-looking. I remember when we used to go out, other girls would turn their heads just to take a look at my ex-husband. Some of those women who are not ugly. How can a hideous woman be with a man who turns head wherever we went?
After my divorce and a single mother, I had so many suitors. I'm not exaggerating either. One guy used to drive 60 miles round trip just so he can drop off some of his homemade cookies to me at my doorstep.
I had another guy who lived down the street from me who courted me for years.
And there were dozens of others. But I didn't pay attention to any of them. I only paid attention to the ones who rejected me from the start and I went after them because that's all I knew. I was familiar with that feeling of being unwanted.
Now I realize, how messed up I am and how I ruined all the other relationships I had because of the way I looked at myself. Where did I learn this? How did I get does horrendous view of myself? Nowhere else but from my parents who did like me, who didn't want me to begin with, and who didn't love me. I was conceived out of wedlock. But that does not excuse either one of them from being such neglectful, unavailable, abusive parents.
I have a lot of work to do on myself. Thank you for your channel. All those years of therapy hardly did anything for me.
I'm going to focus more on me. It's time for me to heal.
I just found you today and I appreciate the topics in your videos, especially this one. I can't say I've seen many, if any, videos on how to "erase" and "re-record" those old "tapes of worthlessness". I belong to a FB support group and shared the link to your video there as I think this can really help a lot of people who are struggling. This is a much needed-video.
What you have to say is spot on. The hard part for many is figuring out how to re-program and find the "healthy mirror". It is a difficult and lengthy process. My FB group deals mostly with family situations and most of us are scapegoats so, by nature of our childhood abuse, we have been isolated and as adults, find ourselves feeling alone and sometimes without much support. I have also instinctually done some of what you suggested in your video, like figuring out what my part is in all of it and how I allow myself to be fall prey to narcs within my family system as well as in friendships. Doing that (along with creating boundaries and paying attention to red flags) has been pivotal to changing my situation.
The FB group has been a huge help, we all speak the same language and validation is powerful. It's made me realize, for the first time in my life, that I'm not alone and that there are people who understand the horror of what I've been through. What's most difficult for me is learning how to get to the place where I don't allow the narcs to have "rent space" in my brain. It's one thing to understand it in your head but another to actually be healed.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom. I look forward to watching more of your videos!
Thank you â€
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I just started watching you and I was wondering how I as a Mom could deal with the narcissistic daughter who will not talk, or visit me with her children.
I finally found out that she was not wanting to deal with the double life of her husband and her w/my grandchildren! This has been going on for 11 years! What is going wrong with her much less me!
Never mind I see đ