"This Is Why You're Still Single!"
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- čas přidán 29. 08. 2024
- Say your red flags loud, don’t be shy.
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My response would be, "I would be degrading myself going out with you", and then I walk away
Every dude that says this will stand their ground and then throw a hissy fit when they're not allowed to be part of the body count
Everytime!
I've brought this question up in a couple of male dominated group chats... "so why is it that men say they don't want women who sleep with guys right away & hold themselves to a more modest standard, but then men dismiss & ignore those women to go chasing after the promiscuous gals guys claim to not want anything to do with?" The answer everytime has been along the lines of "well why would I wait for a good, modest woman when I can just go get laid by someone else in less time & effort?" Every guy will unanimously agree with that statement. I've then responded with "so basically being a 'good, modest woman' by men's standards actually means nothing in the long run & will result in a woman being rejected rather than appreciated." Total crickets followed by an immediate subject change. Happens everytime lol. I hope it's enough to get them thinking, but I kinda doubt it.
it never makes sense. its a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation they are creating. those boys be crazy
@@abiean222 And then they call us crazy for calling them out on their crazy. 😒🙄😞
And that's the toxicity. You expect to take part of my body while disrespecting my mind. That is not how this works. Which is more empowered, a woman who has as much sex as she wants, or one who makes herself less to please a man who doesn't even respect her?
"I used to be lonely; then I got a divorce."
I'm feeling this a lot coming to our 10yrs in a week...
Me too
@@kthearcher3357 I'm sorry. I came to this after years of living with my best friend. I wish you the best.
Do you know why divorce is so expensive?
Because it’s worth it.
Truth..
He shamed her for "high body count", but what she had done is not increasing her body count today with that man. But he is still displeased 🤷
Somehow, it's always about her body count with these guys. I wonder what his body count is. Of course, with an attitude like that it may be in the low single digits, but still...
Her reaction is not an indication that she has a high body count, though.
@@donaldwert7137people like that will brag about their’s while shaming woman for it
@@Passions5555Bs it’s about his utter ignorance and misogyny. As a Man I would want to get away from him too, I don’t hangout with mates who think like that or speak badly about women, because he definitely does with his mate’s.
@@Sweetlyfe agreed
I remember being on the dating apps with my body count of zero, seeing guys profile declaring these views and being aw hell no in response. They may have been “looking” for me, but like hell would I let them find me.
Right? If a woman is "preserving" herself, it won't be to give it away to a toxic sludge like him!
SAME. For all their talk of looking for us "pure" virgin women, they aren't even attracting us because most of us that exist still aren't tradwife wannabe pick-mes lmaooo 💀💀
We have enough self-esteem and self-respect to know we deserve better than these cockroaches. The ace and aro communities exist, for one example. 🏳️🌈
👏💯👏
Big facts. As someone who has a very low body count (and regrets that it's not zero), run!!! Never let them catch wind or sight of you!
"If you are lonely when alone then you are in bad company." - Jean Paul Sartre.
Countless women have decided that being alone is better then the bad company of emotionally immature men.
They may be single but they aren't in bad company.
So if this guy wants his loneliness to end then he needs to work on himself because my god does he have a rancid personality.
I have no body count, I don't care about body count. Glad this guy's so honest though; it makes it easier to leave with 0 regrets.
Same. 0 body count and STILL would NEVER date someone like this. And I like REAL doms too, not these tryhard wannabe doms who think they should automatically get and demand submission on "virtue" of being born a cis male lmao. Actual doms don't claim these alphaholes 💀
Also high body count isn't a sign of experience though?
Women with high body count *in this measurement* should be worth more because of experience. Yet toxic men wants an inexperienced lady while being weird about it.
@@rohamcsiguszthey don't want women with experience because she'll know how selfish/bad he is in bed.
Same. 0 body count and STILL would NEVER date someone like this. And I like REAL doms too, not these tryhard wannabe doms who think they should automatically get and demand submission on "virtue" of being born a cis male lmao. Actual doms don't claim these alphaholes 💀
Same. 0 body count and STILL would **never** date someone like this. And I like **real** doms too, not these tryhard wannabe doms who think they should automatically get and demand submission on "virtue" of being born a cis male lmao. Actual doms don't claim these alphaholes 💀
Any man who asks for my body count will be invited into my basement, we can count together.
I cackled!
🤣🤣
Good one!
Awesome, I'll bring my bonesaw and some 40 gallon drums.
@@jane-cn6nd that’s what actually happened to Sade Robinson.
As a woman with a low body count, I’m still offended. That mentality is toxic regardless of body count.
Me too 🙋🏾
Same! I found it offensive when my body count was 0. Keep those men AWAY from me!
Same. I cant stand enough men to have slept with very many at all.
I'm gonna be honest, most people have low body counts!
As an Virgin I'm not offended but feeling pity cause that was his frustration 😂
I love how he just said his opinion and then claimed it's fact
❤😂
Ahhhh, yes. These 100% truth guys. I don’t why there seems to be many of them around. Or maybe my lack of tolerance for them makes me feel there are more than there is. Either way, 1 is too many for my patience.
@@InnerGiggles I don't think it's just you. Stating that your opinion is fact is very common for people who are scared of defending their own ideas with rational discourse.
Which is ironic because they will also claim to be the rational ones 😅
I'll start using this brilliant tactic in my every day life. "I'll be healthier if I only eat pizza for the rest of my life, it's just a fact." "My partner should clean the whole house every day, because that's a man's job, just a fact." "I'm not going to do this mandatory work report, because I don't think it's necessary and that makes it a fact."
@@mandi3891 🤣
Over the years I've met many who expect women to be virgins til their wedding night, but at the same time they're expecting one night stands every week! Oh, and get nasty when you refuse their advances... 🤨
Some of that virgin / whore thing is religious upbringing, I'm sure -- when you're young enough that you haven't yet learned to question the stuff you were raised with -- but it's also just a power thing. Nobody Else Can Have You. I'd be afraid they'd have weird attitudes about "purity" -- like, you're pure as long as you're a virgin and then you're trash. Guys, none of this is sustainable!
If you don't stay a virgin until marriage you're a slut. If you don't sleep with them after one shitty date you are *also* a slut. Make it make sense!!!
The reason why, you see, is that there are two kinds of women, one to marry (let us call them mommies) and another to have fun with (let us call them harlots). See? Now it is all clear. It's science.
@meej33 Ah, so instead of saying, "Sorry, I'm not interested", I should have stated that I'm waiting to be a mommy? 🤔
Don’t forget they want those virgins to be experts at pleasing a man on their wedding night. Sorry, but that requires experience. Can’t be a virgin and experienced at the same time…
Yeah we are not actually wondering why we're still single. We hear you and we know exactly why, and say a little thank-you prayer.
I could have been saved from sooooo much heartache and general frustration if guys would just do this.
Right? I appreciate it when they’re toxic up front instead of pretending to be decent until I’ve become emotionally invested and sometimes financially tied to them.
@@VictoryXR never depend financially on a man
Yes but sometimes you can't blame them,
Trust me those "Nice Guys" are never really that nice...
But they're not evil, trust me there are times that Andrew Tate mentality actually helps them to get in shape,
However that does not excuse or condone the other problematic behavioral tendencies
@@castrinecubique983
You should as an adult be willing to depend on yourself, but you can depend on a man, he just has to act like a real Man, and not be one of those "Nice Guys"
Who are only nice because they wanna get with you
@@VictoryXRI've encountered where they've been upfront and also (most of the time) where I've had to learn red flags that seemed innocent or small, but weren't. It's hard, and seems ridiculous at times, to take small actions seriously (such as when a guy I dated sort of pushed me out of the way while helping a disabled person--an act of kindness, no?). I've had to go through some traumatic experiences and therapy (I described things he did to me and my therapist said the word "sadistic") to realize the microaggressions and manipulations made toward me.
Part of the difficulty is we learn to accept toxic behavior through our parents, religion, and media; there really isn't much you can be exposed to that doesn't have horrible messages about acceptable relationships and experiences.
We're definitely in a transitory time and it's going to involve growing pains since we literally have to de-program systemic issues that blind us to certain red flags.
Honestly, at times I feel like doing so is a huge undertaking and will question myself. It doesn't help when others question my healthy analyses...that's where I have to remember they do so b/c they have unhealthy approaches to things (well, and are in the B cluster--gotta consider the source, which is also difficult since they're good at gaslighting). I also have to try to remember and take seriously the real damage done to me. Even if the hurt/offense was, or seemed, smaller than what some-else I know went through, and even if my relationship *looked* and *perceptably* ended on a much healthier note than others, there was damage done.
It's going to difficult accepting better and not settling amid this constant stream of poor social messages (and a huge, demanding band of red pillers and other entitled, demanding males, and their happily blind female counterparts) that say to do otherwise....
*BTW, I have nothing against disabled people (this is in case someone in general reads my earlier comment and takes it an unintended way). A lot of the people in my life are disabled and I've been a stern advocate for them, but it was the WAY he helped that was unnecessary at my expense. It felt off. Outside of this incident, I got nightmares, which are unusual for me to have, while I was with this guy...and he was someone that didn't talk the way these red pillars do (and periods didn't scare him in the least). However, he did skillfully do verbal and physical microaggressions (and abuses) towards me that were not talked about at all socially at the time I dated him since this was before the MeToo movement...I've learned that if I want to avoid the unhealthy people while dating, that I have to take serious the things that feel off, b/c at the end of the day, I'm my best advocate. I've found even when I tell people why I stopped dating someone, they shrug it off...when they shouldn't. *Excuse me*, but if someone gives you ANXIETY when you don't ever get anxiety dating (i.e. you don't have known generalized or dating anxiety) that's a RED FLAG. If something feels off, pay attention. "Small" things aren't small things that will go away. I've found if I feel like an object to someone, that's how they view me and it's not going to change and will only get worse in how they treat me. It doesn't matter what I do at the end of the day when someone has clearly not worked on themself (I've found this to also be true of women--I'm bi, so I've been traumatized by both, and, yes, women have treated me like an object).
Anywho, I don't know if that's a helpful perspective but I do wish you well in life and love/partner, if/when you go out to seek the latter.
I just can't believe the dude had the balls to say that to a woman on the first date. Whoaah, bullet dodged there lady, no that man is a walking red flag, nuclear missile love. Good job on walking away from him. 🚩😦👍
he's "dictating his reality"
yeah, you can stay there alone with all your lil red pill single frustrated bros
@@castrinecubique983maybe that's what he wants.
I hope she didn't have to stay long
@@janmots2829 Why? Why do you have trouble believing a man wouldn’t be afraid to ask? Why should men be afraid?
@@nola281 to be single forever? I sure hope so, because that's the only result he'll get with that attitude!
A friend of mine was a little bit unhinged on first dates to filter out the misogynistic men, after needing to break up with one. She'd say something Pearl Davis style like "Women are all happiest being housewives, it's our nature, every women who says we aren't, are in denial" then see how they'd react. If the guy laughed awkwardly and said "you're kidding, right?" she'd tell him yeah of course she was kidding. If he agreed with her at all, there was no second date.
Omg thats an amazing idea!
I love litmus tests like these lmao
we Should Not Have To Lie
@@Psylaine64 Then tell the truth 🤷🏾
That's a great way to filter out men who disagree with you but don't want to publicly shame you about your beliefs too. If someone said that to me, I'd agree with them and never see them again.
As a virgin, I feel insulted by him
Feel insulted then, no one cares about your feelings.
@@RussianOccupier190 no cares about bigots feeling.
@@nicholashoward971 I have no feelings about this particular issue everyone has their preferences the guy in the video found out the woman he was at a date with had slept with a bunch of guys so he tried to shame her by recording her and talking about her high body count and to be honest I couldn’t care less I am not insulted by him or by anyone in this comment section.
the guy bitter about being single is telling women they are still single because they are degrading themselves... for not liking him? like what? what a clown!
edited because typos
If her body count is such a deal breaker why is he wasting time with her instead of finding someone who meets his criteria? Just leave her alone.
It’s acceptable for men to have high body counts but for women it’s not BUT how are men suppose to get high counts if women are expected to keep their’s low. The math literally is not mathing.
This. If every woman has a body count of zero, who are these men being studs with? Getting experience with? These guys get mad because they can't get laid, but any woman who does sleep with them is a slut in their eyes. SMDH. 😒
I know, right?
That's actually very logical, but inhumane. Guys like this think that all women are less than human and deserve humiliation in any case. Virgins are incubators, not virgins are sex toys. And they're shocked when we're our own people with our opinions and frustration
Thats brilliant😂
Men practice on each other. It is the only way the math works out
Love the Prof's conclusion. A man who's secure about pleasing a woman doesn't need her to be so inexperienced that she doesn't know what she's missing.
Sorry, but it's the stupidest conclusion that one could come up with.
@@user-sy2jy1si8f It's valid, so you're checking in from the reality that refuses to admit their favorite symbol is an estrogen pill.
@@user-sy2jy1si8f- But it IS the reason.
@@c.g.bspendersashtray3037 no it isn't . No sane male brain would come up with such line of thought.
We men typically are very secure about our bedroom prowess. And those rare ones who aren't would rather seek experienced women to make up for their lack of experience.
I’ve had men assume I have a high body count, 1. I am a virgin 2. I’m asexual 💀
❤😂
They were probably pick-up artist types who thought that asserting you have a high body count would be "negging" that would put you on the defensive and give them an edge somehow.
@@serendipityshopnycnever understood that. The last thing I want to do is hang around someone who is nasty to anyone.
Are we the same person? I have gone through the same thing!
@@nerissarowan8119 I don't perfectly understand it either., but PUAs assert that if you "neg" hot women, you will stand out from the crowd by not kissing their butts. The theory is that some of them will then feel insecure, perceive you as a strong high-status alpha male, start trying to impress you, and open their legs.
I would suggest that the mere regular use of the term “body count” is already itself a red flag.
If you think the value of a woman goes down because she has a high body count, you just don’t see her as a human being but as an object. ALL human beings have value no matter if they have a high body count or not.
They feel offended, because there's many many men, who are better than him and are capable to build a connection with another human being
This exactly!
Looks like you confuse dating market value with human value.
@@user-sy2jy1si8f human value IS dating market value.
@@user-sy2jy1si8f It's all human value. What are people who are dating if not human?
I'm a guy, when other guys puke these attitudes out of their wordholes I know they're not suitable for friends.
Thank you! We need more men to not ignore these things!
I wish though you'd actually take that as an initiative to sort them out, if you're already not going to to befriend them so they'd improve.
Frankly, these open instances are the minority of the problem. The unreflected subconscious misogyny in overall OK people is causing significantly more damage and need urgent rigorous weeding out!
I'm talking about men proactively gathering to learn about feminism and reflecting on how it affects them. As it aleays does.
I'm a feminist woman. I'm still taking time to reflect on that cause weeding out in the unconscious is a hecking hell of lifelong task. I do that for all other major topics of discrimination, too.
Having sex is degrading? Maybe it's just sex with him that's degrading.
👏🏼🫶🏼👏🏼🫶🏼👏🏼🫶🏼👏🏼🫶🏼👏🏼
A man thinking sex is inherently degrading for a woman speaks volumes about his character and the way he views and treats his sex partners (*hint* as sub human). Dudes like that always use the "Your body is literally being used for his pleasure" and don't stop to think that she's using his body for her own pleasure as well
Sex for pleasure’s sake does degrade the soul, both for men and women. One thing I truly hate about these dudebros is that they’re hypocrites. They say women shouldn’t have a high body count but then praise men for having high body counts. They want women to settle down but refuse to consider it for themselves. It’s a genuinely perverted mindset. I don’t like modern feminist views on sex, but I’d prefer an animalistic and idiotic view on sex over a genuinely evil view that presents women as conquests and men as conquerors
@@DwynTwo Research about pair bonding first. Seriously, do you girls even read any books besides from 50 shades of Grey and Twilight?
@@Aryan-nv9kd My dude, pair-bonding (in all its forms) and sexism are two unrelated phenomenons.
"Women want to do what they chose with their own bodies, and they think it empowers them, but it just degrades them"... Like what ?!?! Do you hear yourself?!
The way she handled herself was badass 🔥
Even for those of us who don't date men - please make it known if you believe these things! As someone who wants a good circle of friends, this would make it so easy to block/ignore people who aren't worth my time!
whoa buddy, those red flags are EXACTLY why that disrespectful dude is still single. and the men-children wonder why we chose bear?
@@roseb1370 we chose the tree 🌲🏡
@@MenBeingHappyVerbal dumping of abusive thoughts is not the same as being emotionally vulnerable. Emotionally vulnerable is a green flag, aggressive and assumptive behavior is a red flag.
🌲🐻❄️
@@jamiekernc9925 manipulative gaslighting drivel.
@@MenBeingHappy lol- if you think that having concerns about *physical safety* is ‘gaslighting drivel’, thank you for putting that out there with your whole chest, it helps identify you as not safe. Appreciated.
@@Ninsidhe Who said I was “safe”? I’m absolutely not “safe”. I’m not a simp.
I don't get offended by guys like these. As Prof said, let these guys be loud so everyone knows to avoid them. Then they can go whine into their online echo chambers about how lonely they are 😂
Whining in an online echo chamber about men whining in an online echo chamber....the irony
@@discodave8412 and here you are offended so that says it all
@@coolbreeze5683 Who said I was offended? I just like exposing hypocrisy
@@discodave8412 I'm not whining about "loneliness" or telling men what they should do with their bodies so it's not the same thing.
I'm single and i don't have a high body count. If you're hot and single, they would assume that you're sleeping around. If you're average or below, they don't even look at you twice and call you a cat- lady. I'm in that second group.
Same! I'm no looker. No one looks twice at me. My sisters all dress up, and wear makeup. I'm the tomboy, no makeup. Dress to be comfortable. I'm still single 15 years after my ex left me. (He's a gaslighting narcissist and it was a messed up relationship and he did me a favor). I have 1 million times more self-esteem than I did 10 years ago but in order to have a guy look at me I have to be somebody I'm not and I refuse to do that. So basically I'm going to die single. (i'm 53). I won't be lonely because I love my own company but I can guarantee no one will ever take a second look at me.
Oh and I do love cats lol.
I personally would prefer an average girlfriend because in my experience, hot women are usually either narcissistic or as dumb as a pile of bricks. Sometimes both.
The men who are more concerned with the packaging than the contents aren't worth your time anyway. I'm a few years older than you, but will also be just fine if I never have another romantic relationship.
If one of these creeps hit on you and you turned him down, you’d be told you’re all the terrible things they say about “hot” women.
Also, I’m not a makeup and fuss person but did decide to give it a try. Guys I knew well didn’t recognize me and my best friend’s boyfriend hit on me, as did several others who thought nothing of me before. It was disgusting.
I gave up men entirely for a few years because I just wasn’t going to put up with the garbage anymore. Met my guy while in the course of other activities, and we were both old and secure enough to know what we wanted and how to respect others.
After 30 years I became somewhat disabled and he ditched me, so even the good ones can fail you, but…
It's strange that there is a "problem of male loneliness" but not one of female loneliness!??
Tells you a lot about how these dudes see woman, they're apparently not human enough to even feel lonely...
I have a feeling that it is more about that women CHOOSE to stay single, to live life, have fun with friends, ect. instead of settling with a random dude. While men are socially not allowed to have deep friendships and need a romantic partner for all their emotional needs
@@romyjane17 I also think part of that is that if specifically a woman is alone, she is just in general safer in her own home than with some almost random guy that's there just for the sake of not being single. Whereas men can feel safe either way, mostly. (I know there are exceptions on both sides, but in general just the physical strength difference makes a lot.)
@@romyjane17 I agree and many men tend to associate loneliness more with not having physical intimacy or not being desired by women.
As a woman, I'm celibate but I don't feel lonely at all. I have deep friendships, family, hobbies, etc.
I've had guys ask me if I'm lonely before and they're baffled that I'm not because they can only see things as physical relationship. I'm glad I'm not trapped in that mindset. That's why guys like in the video get hung up over "body count" and crap like that. They don't have the mental capacity to know there are other forms of closeness or intimacy.
That's because evolution of society made it so that we don't need to submit to a man to be able to survive.
Women are still dating men, but we prefer the evolved version, not the retrograde cavemen who can't be in a relationship if he's not the absolute and undisputed master of the couple. Imagine being that weak and insecure in a world still disproportionately catering to men.
Nothing is more fragile than those dudes.
@@romyjane17 men are socially allowed to have friends. they keep saying they need their dude night! all the ads showing men in friendly settings having a beer while watching the game, helping each other move with their Ford F-50. They are allowed alright, lol
How does this guy figure that any woman regardless of her "body count" is not going to be repelled by being told that it's her own fault she's single?
And then there's his remarkably arrogant assumption that she a) really wasn't okay with being single in the first place, coupled with his presumption that, b) that she SHOULDN'T and couldn't be complete without a man--apparently ANY man--making her life "complete".
I mean, damn, what if she was just looking for a nice evening out with congenial (which he sure the hell wasn't) company?
If it is her fault she is single whose fault is it he is single and on a date with her?
“I’m glad I’m not young anymore”
Yep👍
I gave up on dating in my early 40's. Haven't regretted that decision once in the last 20 years.
I genuinely wish with all my heart thst these men will one day experience the liberating joy of growing out of this narrow, isolating mindset.
I back this. It's awful. It's as awful as any other self-harming behaviour. It's detrimental for only they can decide that they want change and only they can decide that the pain of working through the problem has finally gotten smaller than the pain inflicted by themselves through tgeir own behaviours and mindsets.
But before that, I hope that significantly more peer men start to care for their male peers in a healthy manner and offer them actual support instead of shoving them deeper down the abyss by feeding into misogyny. 😣
See, this is why my mom is never getting married again - done that twice, divorced one, outlived the second. She's not opposed to dating, just is done with men making the relationship all about them (and my stepdad was a good guy, despite some shortcomings). As she says, it's all about her now. She has friends, she has her pets, she's never needed a lot to be happy. And she is. And the men she knows around her age just can't understand how she, a still attractive woman, could possibly be happy without "a man in her life". 😆
I've also told my husband if he passes before me, I'm just getting a dog. I won't have to deal with this kind of bs, and he's set the bar pretty damn high - I wouldn't settle for less.
30+ years into the relationship, and we still jokingly try to figure out who got the better deal.
Find someone who adores you and treats you as an equal partner, who you feel the same about. It's about love, trust, respect, and faith in each other, not bodycounts.
She handled that situation very well.
what.... how..... who raised that guy???!!! Does he feel that way about his own mother???? smh the bar just keeps on getting lower and lower and lower...
The bar is in hell, males can't even limbo under it anymore. ☠️
Podcast bro's 😎
Why do y'all always bring up mothers as if we think about them in that way?
@@christopherbrown5409 your mother is a woman, no?
@@christopherbrown5409 Because most mothers are women as well?
Ah seriously...
The trick to a good relationship is to learn to recognize it when someone really likes you, not just your body but you as a whole person. Then at least you know the most important base is covered! If he also sparks your interest, you can then find out together how compatible you are.
And see what is good in each other and let each other know. It's doesn't have to be a power struggle, it's can be a real partnership.
Nineteen years and still falling more in love all the time.
Maybe stop assigning morality to sex, is that not just leftover religious bullshit anyway?
The patriarchy is alive and well. 😑
It always comes back to racism, purity culture and patriachy
I'm not sure this is about morality, because these guys tend to admire men who have a high body count. I think it really is about their inability, or disinclination, to work at being good in bed. They want a woman with low to no expectations, and no basis for comparison.
@@GreenGrasshoppa well it’s alive anyway.
thats just not a realistic ask most women still see sex as a moral right or wrong. i don't think its necessarily wrong to want a person who hasn't slept with a lot of people but to blame feminism or expect a woman to be pure while not holding yourself and other men to the same moral standard is just ridiculous.
Yep. This is why I’m still single cause ffs there’s so many crazies out there. What happened to finding a man that’s romantic and will treat you like as someone he thinks is awesome because I know I do the same in reverse. I want to be spoiled but I’m going to spoil right back to them even more. Just a relationship where you both adore each other.
Yeah I know I’ll stick to the imaginary ones. (This is not me being down on guys. I know that most men are good men just unfortunately I’ve not had the best track record at picking).
It would be really nice if the crazies of both sexes would reveal themselves early so that at most you wasted the price of a coffee. Finding out that they're insane 2-3 dates in sucks.
The truly kind men, good to their core men, respectful and encouraging men are mostly taken. I'm happy for all the women who have found their wonderful men. But, I'd be lying if I said I don't want one for myself as well.
Spending time with someone who doesn't measure up to the "you must be at least this tall in character to ride this ride" is a waste of time and effort.
Begin as you mean to go on. Don't hand out your heart to anyone who doesn't meet the basic criteria or character you hold dear. If they aren't already genuinely sweet and loving and respectful, etc., they won't evolve while with you.
Don't lower your standards either. Don't give someone credit for not tripping over the blade of grass representing the high bar because you're tired of being alone. Those guys will be horrible to and for you. They see no need to change when they already reeled you in.
Being alone is so much better than being with someone who you'd tell your best friend to avoid. My best friend and I have a pact to always be honest about the men we're dating because who else could assess the guy and the way we know you love? Nobody. But you have to stick to the agreement in order for it to work. Anywhoooo...if the guy you're considering dating isn't someone you'd want your bestie dating, apply it to yourself and save the heartaches and frustration. Hold out for the best ones.
What if romantic one wants the virgin like him or wants first timer ?
"Body count" like you are killing people?
My wife and I talked about our previous relationships, but I really didn't care about how many they were or how much sex they have had, like why should I?
It wasn't until she said that she didn't know sex could be this good, that I asked how it was before? I didn't think I had done anything special, but I turned out I was the first one that cared about her as person, and had put her needs over mine. I didn't think of that as being special.
Yeah, that's how it's supposed to be, but you'd be surprised how many men are selfish shits who think sex is all about their orgasm and none about hers.
Yes, please!!! I found out after 8 years, and now, 4 years after I broke up, this ex-partner of mine still tries to 'hoover me' every now and then. Trying to hide your true beliefs, makes everybody unhappy.
I'm going to guess he just offered up that pearl of wisdom as a means to "impress" her.
Nope, he did it to offend her. To weed out the one with self-esteem.
@@ladybluelotus Nailed it.
@@ladybluelotusBingo!. When she got up and left, he knew she wasn't The One....that he can crush.
it's the "reject them before they can reject you" move.
Deeply emotionally immature.
that turd of wisdom 😅
One way to throw off dudes like this if they have the unmitigated gall to ask about 'body count' is to respond "between one and a thousand". The very best response is *NONYA* . Dudes ever indicating any attitude anywhere close to this are toxic RED FLAGS.
Seems like they're projecting. They're lonely b/c they keep espousing and saying weird s*** to women that repels them, but they claim women are the ones being lonely...
Yeah. He’s just wrong. About everything. He has no idea what feminism is. He has no clue about women. I agree though, at least he got it right out there on the first date. That’s something. Not something good, but something.
This is the kind of guy who gets furious because he can't get a second date.
Last time I was this early I spent a month in the NICU.
Grim, but I chuckled
hHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
In all seriousness, I'm glad you made it out ok!
He’s going to be forever single and that’s a good thing
I don't have a high body count and I'd still leave
Was this a date or did he just plop himself down and spout out his crap while she was minding her own business? Not a good look either way.
Also, never had sex, but guys like this are why I have given up dating men.
You're not missing anything by not having sex
I love good sex, but it definitely isn't a life necessity, and the amount of bad sex you usually put up with while trying to find the small amount of good sex is just not worth the hassle. Toys exist.
I was wondering about that too. Like I know there are men like this out there but from the camera angle this seems like ragebait. Like how did he not see she was filming? Or did he just not care bc his face wasn't in it?
@@peanutbutrswhy would he care? He thinks he's right
I assumed date, but the just sat down story would be another level 😂
"Vomit your red flags proudly" YES, warn people away from these toxic systems of thought.
The Flavor of Misogyny has changed from not wanting to date women without sexual experience because they would be "bad in bed" and "too clingy" to this. It's always something.
mediocre men needs to invent new stuff to project their inadequacies unto women
I mean they are not wrong though , people shame the person who is bad on bed after break up or whatever
Kinda as height or pp size shaming it's all human nature since cavemen used to do the same
Exactly. Be with people who are exactly like you .
Good on her for immediately noping out right away! 👍
Yeah! Shout out your red flags! I'm honestly grossed out by that type of mentality, but I do appreciate the honesty of the guy.
Be alone, or be with a bear. Bith options are becoming more appealing by the day.
I'm aroace so i'm lucky i don't have to deal with this, but i heard some of my fellow lady friends the horrors of dating.
One said he thinks women shouldn't have a right to choose what to do with there body, another one said one of my friends should just get over her pets death that died 3 days ago, when she went on a date with him. And another one said if they get married he wants at least 10 kids and she should be a SAHM (like wtf are you smoking to think that life is possible in this economie, he wasn't even rich he worked at a fast food place).
supporting a family on a fast-food worker salary?
wtf? he wants the rich lifestyle without bringing any money to the table?
what a choosy beggar!
What was the line? You're too poor to be that misogynist?
Yikes. I hope your lady friends find good partners soon so they can gtfo of the dating pool
- A fellow aroace lady (•◡•)/
@@alexmcd378 yes, it's exactly that
The only thing I would say to this that hasn't been said in this thread yet is people should not be dating if they are grieving. People can sense they are in pain and vulnerable and can take advantage of someone in their weakened state. The guy that said to get over it was super rude though.
and then you ask them "so you don't want me to be here wearing this clothes? You don't want be having the job i like earning money?" and most of those guys don't even get, that that's what they were saying seconds earlier, because they have no idea what feminism is, they have no idea, that they just are standing in front of a woman wearing what she chooses
Yeah, feminism = equality.
Equal rights & opportunities for life, education, career, travel, financial security, development of skills & talents & interests, health, etc. *without* discrimination based on organs.
If you don't support equality, what are you, exactly?
Not a reasonable person, that's for sure. 😆
I had a terrible first date with a guy who pretended to be nice for the first half to then turn and say that he had “manipulated” me the whole time, saying exactly what he knew I would want to hear to make me feel good and women should date at “their level” implying he was above me. What a horrible first date that I immediately left but at least like this guy he showed me who he was up front.
I had one of those, mine he even thought I should hang around and be his doormat. I said eff off and he was shocked. Glad I was older and wiser so kicking him to kerb was easy. I've known women who stayed.
It's the look of shocked disbelief when you're audacious enough to laugh when they figuratively snap their fingers and demand your blind loyalty, adoration and slavish obedience.... Ahhhh you must be a gold digger that's why you're not falling for their blatently schizophrenic mood changes and according to their mama, wonderful personality.... 😂😂😂
@@brackalack1 don't forget, rejecting Mr Oh So Desirable also makes you, and I quote, "a lesbian slut". You have to laugh, it's that or despair over why and how some men get like this. Because it's not just what they read on the incel sites, that particular phrase was hurled at me before the internet.
Sometimes I genuinely wish I had a higher body count just so guys like this would filter themselves out
Just lie and say that you do so the trash will take itself out 😉
My response was always "between 2 and a million"... NONYA!!!
Just say you're a feminist and they'll still weed themselves out
some men really cant stand that people have sex lmao 😂 its normal. deal with it.
Some people can’t stand that women have sex but not with them. “I have to use my HAND?” Yes, you do. Remember to was hands after.
@@TwixyNoOh, they don't even want men to use their hands. They have a whole weird anti-masturbation thing.
@@stolenrelicoh is that still a thing 😂
@@stolenrelic No! Really? No wonder they are so cross.
@@stolenrelic oh honey, that's not what they mean
Anyone who thinks a high body count is a reason to judge is not very smart. And someone who refers to a woman's number of sexual partners as a body count is even worse! They do tend to be the same though.
Mayor props to her for walking out so fast
Just ask these guys if they're a virgin. I guarantee their body count is higher.
Well, maybe not this guy
I don't get why guys would put a premium on low "body count". In what other avenue of life would we ever place a preference on someone who lacks skills and experience in a core area?
I mean would you pay extra to get a surgeon who's never done the operation you need, or a pilot with the bare minimum of flight hours whose never flown in bad weather?
Because someone with a frame of reference would realize how terrible they were in bed
@@presentfuture7563 That's the crux of it. These tend to be very insecure men.
Both men and women get more STD’s and possibly children, the higher the body count.
I think we should just try to have the same amount of experience as our partners.
It's simple: high body count -> low pairbond ability.
Also, your analogy with pilots and surgeons is false. Every notch in a body count means failed relationship. Would you fly with a pilot who's crashed 100 planes?
@@user-sy2jy1si8f It "notches" were never intended to be relationships, then they were not failed relationships.
I have wonderful relationships with several women who have very substantial counts, as do I, and we've been together for many years and are quite happy.
It's the guys who pretend to know everything about pop psychology who can't seem to make it work with any woman of any count.
Him thinking filming this was some kind of win is the kicker.
"I harrassed a woman in a public place and filmed it. Here have this internet." Is such a wild thing to do.
She was filming it. He was very pissed when he found out
@@alexmcd378 Yeah true. I'm more tired than I thought. I have no idea why I didn't realise she picked up the camera at the end lmao
@@lw8882 no worries. Hope you get some rest, or coffee :)
A guy who's that angry at women is too full of hatred to even comprehend how to make life better for a potential partner. Life allegedly dealt this dude a bad hand, and now he has to compensate with hostility with no room for any other emotion
I love when men tell me that sleeping with them is degrading, happy to not oblige with their full support
Jesus Christ, that man at the beginning sounded like a living parody.
Ikr? I thought it was a voice over that she was reacting to.
@alexmcd378 Haha I thought it was a voice over too at first! More sad really, but also a bit funny
"Vomit your red flags out for everyone to see."
Speech Prof, 2024
If someone asked me what my body count was I'd probably say "12 and probably 13 if you keep talking like that"
I get what you mean, but that might backfire and incentivise the guy to keep talking like that if he's... after you and not particularly bright
Or say "charged, or convicted"? 😆
@@WilliamDancin Oh my god, that's amazing!
Thank you so much for existing and doing what you do. People like you give me hope.
Wow. Just... wow.
Him: If you didn't have a high body count, you wouldn't be offended.
Me: My body count is zero and I'm still offended. 😂 Don't waste your time worrying about *my* body count when you probably don't even keep track of *yours* .
I don’t care how many people someone has slept with. I care about them as a person, their brain, if they have a good sense of humour, if they are respectful of the wait staff, or the person serving us in the supermarket. If they’re care about the most vulnerable people in the community, and if they do then our belief systems are very similar.
If a man asks what my body count is on the first date I'll know he can't be trusted to know about the murders I committed. Pass.
😁
And here I thought it wouldn't be some insane stuff
whoa, manage your expectations, you're on the speech prof channel after all, lol 😉
When profiling abusive partners, there’s one commonality that is always there… insecurity.
I’m gay and I still see these types from time to time (though my generation seems be weeding them out a bit more). I’m trans so gender essentialism is already a huge turn off but even if they respect me as a man (which I doubt if they dehumanize women that they’ll respect me as a trans man) I can’t be around people who are so nasty in regards to women. The utter lack of self reflection in these men says a lot…
Yes. Fast track to seeing if a person is god, is to see how they treat ppl who are considered "lower in power dynamic" (like service staff), particularly when they make a mistake.
It doesn't matter how good they treat you. If they are bigoted about other people, then you'll not be safe with them on the long run, even if they treat you well now!
good on this dude. i WHOLEHEARTEDLY SUPPORT any man that is this obvious about waving his red flags right in your face from the jump.
thank you sir, for immediately letting me know not to waste any more of my precious time on this interaction.
At this point I don't care where those men's beliefs come from. Who hurt them, what went wrong in their life, ... whatever. idgaf, I'm over it. At its core it's a fundamental lack of empathy. Of the ability to see past yourself. In other words they are just bad people. And I don't have space for it anymore.
As some people have pointed out, the whole high body count bullshit isn’t just offensive to women but to men too. It’s literally reducing men down to a body, and implying that men having sex with women somehow damages them, which suggests that men are inherently bad for women.
It’s ridiculous, and it ultimately stems from insecurity. If a woman has had many sexual partners but won’t sleep with you, that just means that she doesn’t want to sleep with you. That’s it, and trying to make it seem like more is both toxic and stupid.
OK, let's crawl into this belief a little deeper. The two main arguments I've heard from people who espouse this belief tend to go along these lines.
1. The high body count means that they're dating a series of Chads and then once they're used up they'll look for someone they can be more stable with. The problem they see with this behaviour is that they'll then project the poor behaviour that the old boyfriends had onto this new "Good" man who just wants relationships and isn't into hookups. Better to look for someone who hasn't put themselves through that and won't then do that to you. I can see some slight logic here, but the guy saying this was the Chadiest Chad who ever Chaded so I don't know how he can possibly be putting himself into that category.
2. They'll quote statistics (but never actually link the statistics themselves) that say that people who hook up a lot have trouble forming long-term relationships. If a woman has only ever been interested in hooking up, she's not going to be a good girlfriend as she has no experience in being anything beyond a situationship. This one is closer to being a reasonable point, but if so the issue isn't body count, the issue is past relationships. And asking how long and why someone is single and why (in very general terms) someone broke up their last relationship is a MUCH better 1st date question than some nonsense about body counts. It tells you a lot more about the person.
I'd say even better would be just asking what they're looking for in a relationship. If they want to have fun or "see where it goes," you know it's more of a casual thing. If they say they've been looking to settle down and/or find "the one," start a family etc. you can tell they're dating with a more serious approach. There's nothing wrong with having fun and there's nothing wrong with looking for your forever partner; it's two very different approaches to dating, though, so it's good to know upfront what the person's aim/goal is.
@@WilliamDancin I agree that is a much better question with honest people. Why did your last relationship end is great at finding red flags though.
@@StillNotCancelled Yes, I agree with you there; you can learn a lot, depending on the maturity of their answer.
I just hate this term “body count” to refer to former lovers. Originally it referred to enemies killed in warfare.
Exactly. I'm a veteran and that was my first thought, "Is he seriously asking her how many people she's killed?" But, no, it was much more offensively meant than that.
Guys do this and wonder why they're single😂😂😂
Nah who wants to date someone who does one night stand
Yes, let Darwin take care of this problem. It might take a generation or two but, hey, better late than never.
True Crime community, please reclaim the term "body count", because wtf
1:05 "..just vomit your red flags...😂💡👏👏
My body count would be none of his affair. Even if I was interested in someone that slimey , whoever I slept with before him has nothing to do with him. Why would that even come up?❤️🤗🐝
I am impressed by how polite she was. Frankly I couldn’t pay attention to what he said because his tone and condescension was so loud lecturing her instead of I don’t know getting to know her, I was so offended I couldn’t listen to the words. I doubt he said anything nice or respectful or thoughtful right?
TRIGGER WARNING: SA mention
I have a very low body count and I still think this is offensive lol. I’ve had sex with 5 guys in my 25 years of life and most of them was just once…
And the very first guy was actually
r🎱pe. So it doesn’t really count to me. If you care to hear about it i wrote the story: I never did tell my mom.
I was 13, he was 17, we were on a couch in my moms basement andi thought he was cute so we were kissing each other. He undressed me and i said I was nervous and that I change my mind and don’t want to have sex with him, he said “come on just trust me” as he continued to try to put it in. I went mute because I have cptsd from childhood physical abuse and verbal abuse that was still happening at the time. After he was done, he left and never spoke to me again. His friend also hurt me some weeks after. It wasn’t penetration. I again, could not physically say no, I could only mouth it. I thought his friend was younger. He looked younger and thin online and close to my age. Turns out the guy was nearly 200lb and 6ft something and towered over me. The first man is now married to a woman who has my exact first name..
Anyway my main point of that, is that there are men out there who will say that I’m of extremely low value because these things happened to me.
I'm still single because I like to have peace, you don't know how my life improved after I decided to be single. So nice and I don't have anyone telling me that my dreams are not worth anymore, such a bless
I just can't wipe anymore asses my kids are grown. Single is the way to go! Sick of empty promises and my broken heart being trampled on. Whats even more disgusting is they talk about bedding you before even giving an answer to whether the relationship is going anywhere after 1 kiss goodbye. I could go on for days however I don't want to get pukey pukey as I heard a mature little girl say once!!🤢🤮
Asking a woman her bodycount is so pointless. If a woman slept with 100 men, she could say she only slept with 10 and nobody would ever know. It's not like it can ever be proven lol.
I _love_ her reaction, it was 100% the right thing to do, and she had the confidence to do it.
It is, of course, worrying, that he was filming her _while_ he was being offensive, hoping for either a reaction, or a less confident woman to bully.
He's a nasty piece of work.
being free with body isn't wrong and this cannot define a person's character and it doesn't mean that no one will ever be in a relationship w you. Those who feel uncomfortable by looking at people's bodies maybe have a phobia. They should analyse themselves instead of looking at anyone else. Some people are hypersexual and this is why they say this maybe. Some have ocd or phobia so they feel uncomfortable. If they say they have a phobia, then people can understand.
It seems to me that this standard isn't applied to men. I never see videos of men being shamed for "high body counts".
Yes it is I am a man and a Christian and I hold myself to the same standard and there are other Christian men who also hold themselves to the same standard the only ones that don’t are the red pill guys that aren’t even Christian or religious.
I can't believe she had that experience. Oh my gosh... Thank goodness it was the first date. But also...what the heck?!... I hear about this all the time, especially on this channel. Still it's a shock to see it like that.
Her face was saying it all.
And think about it! He straight out sad that to her face?! Apparently cos he believes it, but also knowing that date would end right there and then. So. What did he think he accomplishes by this? Is he thinking he will met a woman who will believe every word and start changing accordingly?
That's like searching for a unicorn and even worse
you never met one of those guy IRL?
you lucky duck!