Never Kissed a Boy.
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- čas přidán 14. 05. 2024
- Nope. Never kissed a boy.
Learn & Grow with me.
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//🕙Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:41 Never been kissed
6:41 Singlehood is trending
10:35 The art of being alone, not lonely
lavendercashewmilklatte's video: • I went viral bc I've n...
The Cut interview • Have You Ever Been Kis...
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Sub count at upload: 3,069,462 - Jak na to + styl
A reminder that other people's timelines are not YOUR timeline. Whether single or in a relationship- always remember that you are WORTHY of love🫶🏻 What are the things you love about being single or in a relationship? 🩷💗
True
My genuine thanks for doing this video, Zoe. ❤ Thr pressure to live up to the standard of society is tiring and trivial. Life is too short to worry about this all.
So, thanks again and you are truly an inspiration to me.
I've never been in a serious relationship before. It's mostly due the fact that I was hyper focused on building a career. I was struggling to find one. I am now doing better financially thanks to this job. One day at work, I was reminded of how isolated and antisocial I was by a certain someone at work who I can't approach. Despite social struggle, I found time to myself to learn how to talk to people again. I also found love for taekwondo. Point is being single all your life can be problematic, but having all the time to yourself can be a key to a happier life. You get to the point where having a serious relationship doesn't even come into mind once you develop skills or experience something you new that is enjoyable. People need to take advantage of time to themselves. Most people will use it to develop unhealthy habits or lifestyles.
What I love about being single is there's so much free time
@@iamfrickincool freedom!!! 🎉
it's not even the fact that i've never kissed anyone, it's the fact that i have never even talked to anyone. like literally. and i'm turning 20 this month. like no talking stage, no flirting, not even a look. A LOOK. or a dm. or anything else. like i'm fine without being in a relationship but the thought that something is definitely wrong with me just haunts me it's so devastating. feels like you cannot be loved in a romantic way.
Your timeline might be different but that does not mean you can't be loved in a romantic way. Happy birthday!!🫶🏻
Therapist Matthias Marber talks about it - whenever something doesn't work, people think there's something wrong with them and not their strategy. Which is the opposite of reality. It's never about you, it's about what you do.
Hope that helps.
Lmao same. I know I'm weird as fuck though. I'm on the autism spectrum and I kind of move at my own pace with a lot of social/developmental things and I know I'm not exactly "normal". But it's okay, I'm attracted to men on the autism spectrum anyways so hopefully it works out.
No please don't say that of yourself. I also though at some point that something was wrong with me, but it's not true. Nobody is normal, we're all very different, with very different life, personalities, people that we encounter. When people ask me why I'm still single, I usually don't know what to say because I just feel that life made it like that. And it's fine, because as Zoe says, we all have different timelines. You accomplish other things, you'll have other kind of experiences and knowledge. and also, remember that maybe it made you avoid meeting very toxic people. I have a friend who dated several person so far, and some of them destroyed her mental health so bad, and she told me that she envies me for not having to deal with those kind of stuff ( well ofc it can happens with friends and family ). Anyway, just be kind to yourself and don't compare to others to the point of feeling bad, eventually at some point you'll meet someone to love you ^^
27yo man here... I relate to you
i’m turning 22 this month and never kissed or dated anyone. its very comforting how many people have the same experience considering how much the media pushes this idea of having at least one high school sweetheart and then going on to find love in college. this idea that not having multiple partners by 18-21 means you’re an ugly prude needs to end
Literally same i feel horrible
do you have dis/cord?
she dont want you@@ville__
@@ville__ why
Very good looking people are intimidating and never approached, or only by arrogant creeps.
It's not only the fact that I am single, It's the fact that everyone else in my surroundings is not. I'm not my friends priority anymore. I'm not just single, I'm lonely
I feel you. also when your younger friends/siblings get into relationships and you just watch like a dumb man. 🧍 🧍♂️. 🧍♀️
Me too, know that you are not alone in this
ugh i felt that! it gets lonely :/
Today is my birthday and I got no subscribers Not fair! Completely unfair!
Same, all of my friends literally ditched me for their boyfriends. When I've been in their life for way longer and probably will be longer as well. Friendships are not getting valued as they should compared to romantic relationships...
I'm 19 and I have never kissed a boy either. Been single all my life and that's okay 😊
today is my birthday and i got no subs
*happiest birthday ever* 🎉❤@@ville__
Me too lol😅
@@ville__happy birthday ❤
I'm 19 too. I haven't even held hands with someone romantically.
I'm 24 and not only I've never been kissed, I've never had any romantic-ish situations. Like, I've never been flirted with, no one has ever slide in my dms, no one asked for my number and etc. And i just don't understand why. I'm fine with it, i enjoy my own company. But I still get this feeling sometimes that there's something wrong with me. I know I am beautiful and smart and interesting, i have friends who love me, and I wish to know what is it in me that while a lot of people want to be friends with me, no one has ever wanted me romantically (or at least sexually)
I feel the same, I feel a little better after reading similar experiences and knowing that I am not alone
I'm the same age as you and having the same experience. You're not alone with this
@@VideosForYou90 I'm the same age as you and having the same experience. You're not alone with this
Were YOU ever interested in anyone romantically?
do you have dis/cord?
I'm 32, never been in a relationship, never have kissed and still a virgin. Yeah, used to think I was a complete freak - until I started seeing that so many people are miserable in relationships. Heterosexual relationships especially are not made to benefit women, quite the opposite. Single women have always been demonised in Western history, I have chosen to carve out my own path. Single or in a relationship, I don't care. As long as I am happy and healthy!
I'm 24, same and totally agree!
The red pill dudes say the same thing with the sexes reversed. Who's right?
I'm almost 30 and yeah, when you pay attention the majority os relationships are not healthy and are in fact miserable, specially for women
I just want to tell you that I'm proud of you, ok? Please keep making yourself happy
26 here, you're doing great 💜
26 soon to be 27 and never been in a romantic relationship. Hang in there guys. One day maybe.
I don’t mind being single I just don’t like being constantly reminded of it and feeling pressured by my family and friends. I’m introverted and have social anxiety so it makes it hard for me to meet or talk to anyone. I’m 20 and haven’t had my first kiss or been in a relationship. But that’s okay because I’m focusing on me and living my life, sure there are times I get lonely and insecure. But I rather wait for the right person then just be with someone for the sake of being with them.
This is so me, the pressure is real. "You've gotta start talking to someone, I want grandkids in the future"🧍🏾♀️
I can hardly even make friends, let along talk without feeling judged by someone. I'm sad that we feel like this, but it's a little better knowing I'm not alone 🥹🥲
@@woahthere_dami My friends always ask me for relationship advice even though they know I have no experience. I get my advice from movies, tv shows, books, my mom and aunts. I’m not gonna be able to help much considering I don’t have any experience. And I can’t relate to the situation. I always say don’t blame me if something goes wrong with your relationship and don’t mention that I was the one who gave you the advice because I don’t want your partner getting mad and wanting to fight me. I’m just trying to help my friends. 😣
This is so me 😮 same I give advices for my friends even though I am not experienced just give them through movies, tv shows
do you have dis/cord?
stop asking everyone that youre a weirdo@@ville__
I think this message should be for women AND men. I imagine men get judged very harshly if they have never experienced romance/initmacy early on. You are spot on about the negative influence of dating apps making it harder for anyone to get into genuine relationships. Its hard for men and women
you are so right! i haven't even thought about it but i can deifitely imagine how much young men/boys are pressured to be experienced in such things from a young age on
As a young man myself, watching this video to see it from a woman's perspective, I'd say that feeling this kind of pressure depends on the environment you find yourself in. That goes for boys/men and girls/women alike.
I am the only person in my family that isn't in a romantic relationship and have been for quite a while now. Sometimes I get asked when I'm finally getting a girlfriend and it makes me feel like I'm falling behind and failing.
In my group of friends, though, not everyone has experience and there's no peer pressure at all and when the topic comes up, it's all just jokes and nothing serious.
It's actually great that social media show us that there are so many men and women growing older without getting to experience what it's like to be loved romantically by and be physically intimate with someone else. It shows that it is not uncommon or necessarily weird not to have experience and, although frustrating for many sometimes (me as well), is nothing to be ashamed of.
@@quintenmeijerink5339 yeah I also think it's really reassuring knowing that we are not the only one person in this situation, in fact the more I watch this kind of content, the more I realize there is nothing wrong with me, I just go at my own pace.
*I was feeling depressed but your video dropped. Let's just say you lightened my day*
hope you feel better soon🫶🏻🩷🥺
I'm 24 and single by choice, never had a boyfriend, never kissed someone. I used to be upset about it but I realized that it was only because of the external pressure. I myself love being single and don't feel like I'm missing something. Single women live the longest, healthiest and happiest lives anyway, marriage shortens their life span. The only reason why I'm feeling lonely at the moment is because literally all of my friends ditched me for their boyfriends which hurts. So I'm prioritizing finding new girl friends at the moment since friendship means everything to me :)
do you have dis/cord?
Not so sure about the marriage shortening a woman's life span. Maybe in modern times where the typical arrangement in a marriage is "marriage stress" + "work stress" since nowadays most couples can't really raise a family without dual incomes. The additional work stress shortens the life span, potentially. Only by a year though according to some random article I found on Google. But, during times where women weren't really expected to work and rather just be stay at home mother's, perhaps they were not as stressed as we see nowadays. In other words, the cause for this decrease in a woman's life in marriage might not be from the marriage itself but from something else.
trust your gut yes
the decentre men videos are useful for understanding your boy crazy friends
Yesss..I agree to some extent, live your life to the happiest self you can be and never let societies standards bring you down and make you miserable as nowadays everythings rotting. So glad you prioritize friendship first as ultimately it really is more important imo!
@@JohnDoe-nm5le Something else = Woman who are in the work force and are married with children live less than ones who are not in the workforce or are single
I’m 18 and I ‘ve never been in a relationship nor kissed anyone. I know I’m still very young, but the thing that really worries me is that nobody even looks at me, compliments me or tries to have a conversation. I have several friends who have never been in a relationship either, but at least they receive some sort of attention. I feel like there’s something wrong with, I just want to be like everyone else..
Are you me?!?!? My best friends may be single now but I have not gotten any interest and the one time I did getting attention it may have been for using me for sexual stuff. So the only and first time I felt wanted they were using me. So it feels worrying because lust is not at all what I want hell I may be Ace and want someone to just chill with. It's like asking for that is too much so I don't ask at all..
This only means that you are special. Not everyone can be by your side, because that space is expensive and it worth. Sorry for my bad english, I'm 22 and I understand what you are living. Don't worry, just don't make bad choises for fast results. I kiss at my 21's and I'm the only women I heart I like my first kiss.
Me too
Hey look I'm 18 too and even I've never been in a relationship till now and I understand this feeling of not being "worthy" or not receiving enough attention but honestly now I've realised that this thing doesn't even matter as long as I love myself What I'm trying to convey is that once you start prioritising yourself then this idea of not being liked will not bother you and let me tell you it is completely fine to be 18 and still not be in a relationship moreover the more you crave for attention the more it'll make you look miserable and you don't need to be like everyone else you just need to be yourself beautiful and I'm sure you'll definitely find someone who will truly love you one day.( Sorry for my bad English btw)
I was 19 and I kissed a sociopath who groomed me, so maybe it’s not so embarrassing to wait until you find someone worth it. Choosing yourself is always a good thing.
I’m 21 & I have never been in a relationship, not even been on one date so seeing the comments definitely makes me feel less lonely - with social pressure & seeing peoples relationships all over social media (one of the reasons I deleted instagram & TikTok) it can make you feel odd, but a good reminder for anyone in the same boat is that we’re all on different timelines, never force/rush things - what is meant for you, will always find you at the right time ☺️
Same im gonna be 22 in a month but I feel horrible about it
do you have dis/cord?
i also haven't been on insta and tiktok in a while, i think it's better that way
It's nice to know there's other people out there in the same boat I am - early/mid-twenties and never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, etc.
I think it's good to remove the stigma from being single, and for people to remember it's okay to not be in a relationship. But it's also okay to WANT a relationship while being single, and I think that's something that gets forgotten.
I really think there needs to be a balance: it's wonderful to be single and happy with it, but that doesn't mean it's NOT okay to be single and desiring a relationship. Wanting to be in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you're not happy being by yourself.
@@ville__ Yes, I do
@@ville__ sunflower1066. I'm not very active on it though
@@ville__ sunflowergirl1066. I'm not super active though
@@ville__ hmmm it's not showing up. But they made me change my username yesterday so maybe that's why. Try sending to sunflower.girlie
Don't add stranger online to some social media or w/e. If some stranger in the comments is asking you to add them online the rules from childhood still apply changes are they're some weirdo or cr eep. this dude is msging every single woman under this is that's targeted towards never dated women and you think its it's not a red flag? Delete him off your disc. Or w/e he added u and re po rt the dude cause he's h@r@ssing everyone here
The hookup culture and the dating apps have turned the whole thing into a cheap meat market and devalued everything about meaningful relationships
On the other hand, it’s harder to to meet new people elsewhere
A agree. People don’t want to commit and always think there’s something bette elsewhere
@@64___ Yes, no one wants to commit or even try to commit
Do you have dis//cord??
public college campus
social meetups
I hadn't kissed anyone till I was 20, I was always so nervous about it. But if you find the right partner that's patient and respectful, they really won't care and will be kind about it!
do you have dis/cord?
I’m finally there after a decade of throwing myself into toxic relationships as if my life depended on it and a nasty break up. I finally can appreciate myself.
the timing for valentines day though!! this video felt like a comforting talk to a good friend or older sister. thanks zoe🩷
Jesus Christ wants a personal relationship with you through the Holy Spirit, not religion and blind faith. You see, we all have sinned and deserve punishment but God saved us from the eternal punishment of our sins by sending His Son Jesus Christ, fullness of God bodily, a perfect, sinless sacrifice to pay the penalty for our sins by shedding His blood on the cross. He died and rose from the dead so that we may have everlasting life. It is all finished and now for you to accept the free gift of grace you must believe from your heart in Jesus Christ, that He paid the price for your sins, that He is risen and alive. Don't trust in your own goodness but transfer your trust to Jesus and follow Him, get to know Him personally. By faith you will receive the Holy Spirit, become born again, know Jesus personally and He will transform your heart and clean you from the inside out. Believe in Him, read the Bible and pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you and change you, obey the Word. Much love and God bless you!
My first kiss wasn't till 20, my friends 27, my other friend 23, so I assure you, it's more common than you think ❤ you're not alone!
I didn't have a boyfriend until 29. Now I'm engaged to be married. Enjoy the ride, friends. Whether you are single or not, there is so much beauty in life. It is important to learn how to enjoy yourself and your own company. Relationships can be great, but life is so much simpler single.
A woman who never had a boyfriend until 29?
I'm 26 and have been feeling so much pressure lately, despite loving my solitude. Thanks for this! ❤️
Thank you so much - I needed this. 35-year-old single professional woman, virgin, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed. I’ve only been on one date in my life, just before I turned 29, with a guy from a dating app, and it was a huge disappointment. I’m so happy with my life the way it is. I have the freedom to pursue my passions and nurture my interests, and I feel immensely fulfilled from my relationships with family and friends. But, the societal pressure to couple-up is very real. Thanks for the reminder that I don’t need that noise. I am happy, and that’s what matters.
Why do you think you are still single? As in, never been with anyone? Just asking because a lot of people find it more shocking to hear of a woman being chronically alone and single later than normal due to the unfairness of men always having to make the first move and court women, most people believe that women are in abundance by default
@@nobodysperfect06 Isn't the "unfairness of men making the first move" the answer? So guys get bitter or nervous and don't make a move, and women are expected not to do it themselves, so no move ends up being made.
I'd imagine most women with no experience haven't tried making moves and it boils down to men not making moves on them either.
That's how it is for me anyway.
So the solution ig is changing the dating scene to make it encouraged for women to show interest more often and teaching men how to do it properly (since a lot of the difficulty comes from the way they do it ending up creepy/inapproriate)? Also maybe including other people more like parents, peers, etc, in finding good matches instead of dating apps.
@@nobodysperfect06 Though sometimes getting a relationship just isn't a goal for some people (like me). So even if given the opportunity, it would be rejected, because being in a relationship is a specific lifestyle and commitment that just isn't desirable sometimes. Which I think is less desirable for women usually than men, since relationships tend to end up badly for women very often (unequal labour share at home and emotionally, higher physical burden for things like childbirth, loss of power/independence that often happens as pressure of the relationship, etc).
I'm a 25 man and never had a relationship either (although I did kissed a girl in a party once when I was 17 (it was pretty lame tho)) and the pressure is even worst when you are man because women would always expect (or at least most of the time) that you make the first step and put more effort into the relationship, I mean you just have to look to most comments here to prove my point ;( (Im not saying women don't have it bad so please don't misinterpretad me) so yeah, is awful specially when most of my friends have already a gf and besides that I don't want someone with a body count, life is hard
I really enjoy ur videos, the calmness and the personal talk is like the big sister you always needed. For religious reasons, I've never kissed a boy etcetc. But because I listened to their lies, I was in long distance relationships for awhile - I was so lonely from friends that I went for men who didn't feel about me in the same way, but were able to lie and say "I love you, we'll be together for ever". Those words, are so manipulative. I was so young and didn't understand. Now I know the problem, and that I feel worse in a relationship when I am seeking validation.
I won't date someone, unless I know them for a long time as a friend, and that they culturally match what I want my husband to have, same religion etc, and I won't be lied to again or hurt others how I was hurt - i'll take my sweet time in finding who I love, and who loves me equally ❤.
The internet can be a dangerous place when you are young, please be safe. Its very easy to lie/be lied to.
I'm 36 and I felt so behind because I lost my virginity quite old and I haven't had a serious relationship ever!! So to everyone feeling bad about it I can say it will happen,don't chase it ,let it be and wgen it finally happens you'll see is not a big deal.
Kissing in general seems overrated. You don't get to see many people saying they've never kissed a guy or girl in their lives.
THANKS for this video!! This is exactly what I needed.
29, single, never been kissed, virgin etc. 99% of the time I don't care, 1% of the time I feel miserable. Like today. So I really needed this video from a witty and smart person.
Sometimes I'm overcompensating with my job, and sometimes this coping mechanism backfires. There are usually 4 situations that trigger me:
- Fiction that involves a romance subplot (usually badly written).
- Weekends and spare time when I want to do things but I feel too tired to go somewhere at night, watch out for myself, be ready to push back unwanted sollicitation / or to man up and not be depressed because *lack of male validation*, etc. Here in France, it's still too much norm to be coupled as a woman.
- Two of my colleagues who are extremely judgmental of men, of their appearance, of others' relationships, of everybody in fact... always bitching out loud about everything and I know that as soon as I leave I'm the next target. They can't mind their own business for more than a few minutes. I already talked about it to my hierarchy but they won't do anything about it, like, no one cares...
- I'm a lawyer and part of my job involves advocating for children or teens... who often are in relationships and even when it's toxic ones, it really makes me wonder what is wrong with me sometimes. I even question if I can legitimately advise anyone since there is so much infantalisation of people who are single, let alone late virgins (like, how as a child can I be of any use to them? or how could my perspective be of any use since I'm so ignorant of 'the things of life'?). It's a great Impostor Syndrome fuel in fact.
I think I've spent enough time with myself...🚶🏾♀️
*same* 🧍♀️
Thanks for this Zoe. Always felt like the weirdest person on earth seeing all of the people in my childhood having their first crushes and physically getting into a situationship with them. I think part of the grieve that comes with being a late bloomer is that you'll never know what it actually would've been like to be with your high school crush. You'll never know what it's like to have all those first times when you're a teenager
This is the most healing and sane video that could come out ont the Valentines's day. Thank you Zoe!
28 here - no 1st kiss, no relationship so far. It used to upset/ scare me over the years, and at one point in my early twenties I just thought, "if it hasn't happened yet, then it probably never will" being a shy girl, but since then, I've had time to grow as a person and in confidence, so I definitely feel better equipped to deal with the dating scene, now that I don't place my value solely in romantic encounters. I never chose to be single all this time, it sorta just happened that way, but I did choose to not rush into things or to not trivialise intimacy with someone just because hookup culture became a thing.
Great video!!
Although I am not in this situation anymore I still resonate with the feelings of isolation, feeling inferior etc that come with never being kissed of loved romantically. I felt embarrassed as I was 24 with no love life whatsoever. How was I gonna explain that no guy had ever held my hand, looked at me in a romantic way or kissed me. And then I met my boyfriend. Just when I thought I was apparently not enoigh to be loved in a romantic way. I told him about my lack of experience and he did not mock me like I had imagined thousands of times. He was gentle and sweet about it. What I want to say with this is: there is someone out there who will squeal with excitement at the thought of being in your life, holding your hand and calling you theirs. Do not settle for less! You are an amazing ray of sunshine in the life of those around you. Happy Valentinesday! Here’s to loving yourself where you’re at ❤
do you have dis/cord?
Good for you. Unfortunately, the gender-reversed situation wouldn't happen. Most women despise male virgins and ugly men (don't believe what women say, believe only what they do, and they prefer f-boys just to cry about how they were "used" later).
"Being with the wrong person can make you feel lonelier than you'll ever feel alone"
Very very true
Plot twist: She only kisses girls
do you have dis/cord?
I knew someone was going to say this😂
Let’s be respectful and not jump to speculation
@@60sbabydoll777 do you have dis/cord?
@@60sbabydoll777 what about you
OMG the flowers! Thank you for sharing this. 😌 It is time to understand we aren't under the clock
had my first kiss at 17........... kissed the same person for 5 years. and now... single, i haven't kissed someone in many years.. lol i legit don't date.. i either fall in love or i stay single. i have had crushes but it never came to a relationship. so i have not kissed someone for many years.
i think there is NOTHING WRONG with staying single or have not kissed someone. even in you are in your 20s. because LOVE is not something you can force to happen.. kissing someone you don't really like, but young, does that make it good just because you are young? i'd rather wait to kiss someone who really care about me.
I resonate with you💓💓
I've started therapy recently and really struggled to bring this topic up with them because I know the answers already, but they don't resonate with me or how I feel. Like, being told to "enjoy my own company" when I'm starting to get sick of myself and would like to get a break by being around another person. But the struggle is just finding people, it's so difficult right now. And like you said, dating apps are trash and many are only built to keep you there rather than help you find people to be with away from the app. I recently came out as bigender, but I still have most of my stuff as a cisman because this beard and beer gut aren't foolin anyone. And I've noticed that the pressure you described for women to get married has almost been passed over to men (but not in the same way at all). That "male loneliness epidemic" comes from guys who have been inundated with the idea that the only love that exists is romantic love, not familial, fraternal, or self love. Their worth is starting to be defined by what they think women want and not by who they are. And even when you break free from those systems of thinking, the hard part is that it's still been so deeply engrained in you that romantic love is such an integral part of life that you need to find it somewhere.
I'm 24 now, live with my parents, unemployed, struggling to find a job, struggling to see myself as attractive, and struggling to come to terms with how my upbringing as a man has developed these problems. Saying "I want a girlfriend" may just mean sexual desire, but to be honest, I just need a hug and someone to tell me I'm enough. Because when I look at myself, I don't see someone who is worthy to judge that distinction. I cannot afford myself self-love. I want someone beautiful to tell me that I'm beautiful, too. Personally, not through a screen anymore, not with some non-specific ASMR video. Someone who sees me and says "You are worthy of love from someone like me." And I think there's a lot of guys out there who feel that exact way and it's why we're dealing with this epidemic.
This
Basically, you think your "loneliness" won't be gone without acquiring a beautiful object whose sole purpose is to cater to your ego. No mutual connection involved, and god forbid she have expectations, wants and needs of her own. Dude, get your own place and look after yourself first. And ugly people exist, ugly girls exist too and are straight up told by dudes they're never going to be loved. They aren't running around making it the world's problem. I assure you your life will improve vastly when you stop viewing women as objects you're entitled to but aren't getting, rather than autonomous, complicated human beings, each worthy of respect and dignity in their own right.
Here's a harsh pill to swallow, a spoiler alert, if you will: even if you somehow snag yourself a pretty dream gal who sits still, looks pretty with a mouth sewed shut at all times, it won't fill that void within. It is an internal thing that no one but you can fill, and that takes inner work, and it's not easy.
THAT is where your worth comes from, not the world around you, not other men telling you you're an inferior man. Who are you without other men telling you the hierarchical commandments to be a superior male? Who are you when you're alone, without any influences? If you hate your own company, that's where your work lies: within.
Jesus Christ wants a personal relationship with you through the Holy Spirit, not religion and blind faith. You see, we all have sinned and deserve punishment but God saved us from the eternal punishment of our sins by sending His Son Jesus Christ, fullness of God bodily, a perfect, sinless sacrifice to pay the penalty for our sins by shedding His blood on the cross. He died and rose from the dead so that we may have everlasting life. It is all finished and now for you to accept the free gift of grace you must believe from your heart in Jesus Christ, that He paid the price for your sins, that He is risen and alive. Don't trust in your own goodness but transfer your trust to Jesus and follow Him, get to know Him personally. By faith you will receive the Holy Spirit, become born again, know Jesus personally and He will transform your heart and clean you from the inside out. Believe in Him, read the Bible and pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you and change you, obey the Word. Much love and God bless you!
Nah, they want a wife to replace all the jobs they refuse to PAY for they want free labour, BurbnBougie has videos on that. Men believe in Disney too much, true. A wife won't fix THEM as a person yknow? Elicia Goguen has good glow up videos. Self-love is self-concept work, Neyah has videos on that. Validation is not external. You crave emotional intimacy, look it up. Emotional dysregulation too.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! You’re right about self love being a tough thing to muster :(
I’ve never left a zoeunlimited video not feeling more uplifted ❤
Your comment uplifted me🫶🏻
ahh ily sm!!
Been having a hard time with this exact thing recently….Really comforting to see I’m not alone and it’s not just a me thing ❤️
TThank you this gave me encouragement. The men being lonely epidemic makes me sad tho.
genuinely nice to hear that women feel with us
This is amazing, I love it. Honestly, don't torture yourselves folks 💛
Thank you so much for this video, it warms my heart to see someone talk about this so kindly. Also I am so so so sorry for your traumatic experience, may God bless you always Ameen. I am comfortable being alone, I have so many hobbies and things that give me joy and I can spend my time with that and also work. I didn't need outside validation and I am contemplating being single by choice. Which is very, very rare from the country and culture I am from. But I could do it. The only thing is, even though I am perfectly happy being single and not waiting for anyone, when one of my friends mentions they have a partner and that they are so loved by them... I feel so insecure all of a sudden. I clam up. As a good friend, I hide my feelings and congratulate them and pray for them. But I can't help but feel really insecure. I'm A-OK at any other time, but when someone simply mentions being in a relationship, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out, making the wrong choice. Also in our culture, its almost unheard of to be child-free by choice. The names people would call you! But I don't want to go through all that. I don't want children. But society has so many pressures. This is why I contemplate being single by choice and maybe I might learn that in addition to being happily single, I can also learn to be un-jealous. Or maybe I might find the perfect guy for me. I don't need him to be perfect, just perfect for me and me being perfect for him. Otherwise, maybe I can learn to be un-jealous. Thank you so much for this vidoe
Damn, that video came at a good time for me - experienced a bit of self-doubt in recent days. Thanks!
Girl I needed this vid❤
Via showing up ✨️✨️✨️my favesss
I really needed to hear this today! Thank you ❤
You sound so mature. It’s nice that you talk about women’s issues without treating men as enemies. Moreover a lot of things you said can be easily applied to men.
And also you have a very nice voice.
The bouquet is absolutely beautiful!!!❤
It feels like a relieve that i am not alone with it. I am 22 and never had anything with a guy even when i have been on a lot of dates. I have the feeling that most guys mostly dont seek a relationship. They always want a situationship and nothing serious. Still hoping to find a soulmate one day i cant settle for less💀
situationship doesn't exist, it's a myth, like GF/BF instead of fiance/e
Feel that! 🩷💗🩷
yeah, i realized that when the last guy i went on a date with ( the best date i had so far) flirted with my friend in front of me one day after the date and then asked me to go on a date with him again. And then i blocked him =) and never spoke to my friend again because she got so happy about it she could not hide it.
I know that it's easy to say, but is a reality: There are genuine good guys out there that are worth meeting. Sometimes life is whimsical and keeps you away from them.
Thank you so much for this video, it definitely changed my perspective and made me feel at ease since I'm also stressing out about having always been single at 20.
Great message, solitude has been maligned and we deserve better, from the rest and from ourselves. Good vid!
P.s: as a cishet guy (almost 22) who has only kissed someone once, same, the struggle to stop feeling like a freak or a loser is so real that it hurts the brain.
Your videos make me feel sooo precious! Love 'em❤
There is this certain validation we need to feel that it’s okay to be alone and not fit into a certain criteria and I feel you gave that
Saying that it’s okay to love yourself is sometimes all one needs
I remember the pressure I put on myself to fit in. Looking back I wish I would’ve shown myself more compassion and didn’t push myself to engage in things that didn’t feel right and aligned just to tick some experience-boxes. People, listen within, your paths are unique. You’ll know what’s right for YOU. No looking left and right needed :) YOU ARE ALL WORTHY AND LOVEABLE MIRACLES ❤️
these days talking about love and crushes in high school or middle school is getting to the students in my school. sometimes you feel pressured when people ask you about it and I do too. it's irritating knowing someone likes you when you don't, but you don't want to hurt them. I feel out of place as an ace in my school. I like that I can relate with a lot of people on the internet.
I’m 38. I’ve been kissed, but I’m a virgin.
Great video, great closure message, thank you very much ❤
i love your videos, your so motivating! i'm 20 and single since i was born, your kinda my role model, and the proof, that though someone is single, it doesn't mean she's not pretty and amazing
This was refreshing to watch. I’m 26, never had a boyfriend, first kiss or a male friend before. I believe in universal attraction and am patiently waiting for my soulmate. I’m content, happy and in the best relationship with myself I’ve ever been in my life. ❤
girl, i luv so much really. it's the first time i've seen someone on social media talk abt this so freely
I'm 32 and have never been in a relationship, never held hands, never been kissed, etc. Maybe it'll happen someday, or maybe it won't. But I'm happy having the time to myself and getting to just live my life for me.
A woman who has never had a boyfriend?
As an autistic person, the message of being alone in a room full of people is one of the reasons I (and many others on the spectrum, but I can only speak of my experience as no two people are alike) feel isolated while the world is telling us that we are wrong. I know what small changes would make me more at peace, but they go against the norm, so for a long time I felt pressured into becoming NORMAL, this is the concept of masking. I suffered great mental perish through the forced action of meeting social rules and regulations. In the same way the concept of romance and how it is embedded in our minds as the correct and decired way of life. That is why children talk about their gf/bf without having the capabilities to understand the emotional and sexual difference between a good friend and a partner. This early "propaganda" (for lack of a better word) through movies, tv, books and ads, is why many of my friends have expressed sorrow and feeling of them having faults and desperation can be seen growing before puberty and a sexual drive has started. Today those friends have forced themselves into relationships where they are hurt just for the ability to adhere to the norms, or they express a deep want and yearn for it. I thank you for spreading this and attempting to create a change where people are accepted for not wanting or not having romantic relationships. People should enter relationships to grow because they truly believe this person helps them in that regard. Becoming comfortable with oneself should be what society strives fore, it is an art not a given. Again thank you for talking and sheding light on this important topic
i needed this video the day before valentine's day. thank you
I'm 27 and never dated or been kissed, and yeah it's a bit embarrassing atp lol.
I've talked to guys on dating apps, it's nice being complimented, but not when it's creepy and sexualized and even worse when you get nonconsensual d pics 🤢🤮 (fr traumatizing).
None went anywhere because talking to them felt like pulling teeth, I felt like I was interrogating them while the most effort they give is "wbu" 🙄
And after a few messages they want to meet up, I say no so they ghost me (I'm not meeting up with someone I know nothing about).
I'm a very introverted hermit, always have been, and I was homeschooled growing up, so I really didn't have opportunities for making friends and dating.
But I'd rather stay single forever than have to cater to a man-child.
Also don't want kids, being an aunt is much more fun:)
I dated around because I thought my time was running out. I'm in my mid-20s and I've never had a BF. After dating around for a while, I realized that either I haven't met the perfect match for me yet or a relationship is just not for me. I find dating to be so tiring. At first, it was exciting cuz of all the flirting and stuff but after a while, it got repetitive and boring. I found myself the happiest when I wasn't dating. So yes girls, being single by choice is a thing.
i think you wouldn't find it tiring if you loved the other person and feeling sexual attraction towards it. So, i can relate. I do not want at all to go out with guys from dating apps. I did that. And the one run off and stayed with me only for 30 minutes. And then never spoke to me again, which was fine by me since i could not even get a word out of his mouth, and then another guy wanted sex so he started texting me and asking me to go out with me only after midnight and i was like.... Is he a seriall killer? And he was a handsome one but he did not know how to talk. He would only text me " hi" and then a " lets meet". Without anything else. Except his cat once which was cue but not enough for me. But then i went on a date with a guy i met in a cafe. After we got a good time, the next day i saw him at the center of our town, ( how should i know that from 1.000.000 people he would be there?) and then guess what happened. He flirted with my friend in front of me. He touched her waist and hugged her so much he almost kissed her. And then he told me to go out with him again. And then i blocked him and never spoke to my friend cause she got so happy that i was humiliated in front of her and the girl started to say how not so tall he was and how he stuck her body into his. And she could not stop smiling. But guys were always flirting with her everywhere we go, but at that day i was like ( him too? From all the people in a city of 1M, he chose her too?) and the fact that the girl died her hair the exact color i died my hair some weeks ago did not help at all. And it was fucking pink. Not brown or black. It was pink. And she was a blonde one. She went from blonde to pink. The problem exists everywhere. Its called " male brain". I cant wait to meet someone who is not an asshole.
@@madamegrenouille6341 Some of the guys I dated had red flags so no wonder I didn't fall for them. Others were decent but I didn't feel any attraction towards them. I dated a guy recently who was very kind and caring towards me. He liked me very much so I kept seeing him hoping that feelings would grow. However, I realized that I couldn't feel a connection with him. Also, whenever I asked him why he likes me, I didn't get anything substantial but just full of crap like "you are so pretty and classy blah blah"...very surface-level. I could relate so much with the "male brain". Whenever I'm dating someone new, it always feels like they have similar patterns on how to approach girls... a very simple and predictable one which makes the game boring. Also, it's true that males would often be very surface-level. They'd rather date a brainless and stale personality beauty than someone they actually have a connection with.
I love the title of the final chapter of this video. I made a podcast called "i"m Not Lonely I'm Alone" and i'm thinking of doing an episode where I talk more about finding peace in my single era. Being single was something that used to bring me so much anxiety and stress, but now I feel so free and at peace. Still open to something oneday, but feeling so much more fulfilled today.
I turn 23 in a month. Never been in a relationship, never held hands romantically, never been kissed, etc. In real life, I don’t know anyone my age who has never been in a relationship, or even situationship. I am completely fine with been single and using this time to invest in myself and my interests, but I can't help but sometimes wonder if there is actually something wrong with me. But then I realise it's mostly societal expectations which are introducing these thoughts. It's videos like this and also these comment sections which help me realise that I may not be alone in this situation.
Thank you so much for this video, I really felt like something is wrong with me, especially since a lot of my friends are in a relationship... Lately I thought maybe I have to force myself to be in a relationship but I honestly can't be with someone that I don't have an emotional connection with
do you have dis/cord?
No, why?
I am so happy that this topic gets more and more Attention. When I was a teen I felt like a freak because I never had a kiss, se. or a boyfriend. I was so ashamed. I had my frist kiss when I was 17. It wasn't good. It wasn't ronantic at all. He just wanted to go further. My first time was even more horrifying. He druged and ... me. Years after that I still was so ashamed that I never had a boyfriend.
With 21 it was the first time that I had kind of a boyfriend. It just lasted a few months. Years passed by, I dated but nothing lasted more then a few months. 24, 25, 26 I got more and more ashamed, because I never had a serious realationship. I never experienced "real romantic love". I always felt like a freak, like I had a lack of something.
I thought a realationship is the only thing I need to complete my happiness.
About a year ago I met a very cute and nice guy. He was just the right person for a realationship.
But after a few months I realised that we don't work togheter and despite I deeply liked him, I ended it.
That experience healed me so much.
I learned that nothing is wrong with me. There ARE people that WOULD commit to me.
I learned that I DON'T need a realationship If it's not with the right person.
I never been more happy alone. I am 28 now. Just because everybody is in a realationship doesent mean that they are happy and fullfilled.
It doesn't make them happier, better or more love-able.
You are not weird of you never kissed anyone. I send love to all of you guys.
I know its hard to believe I you are feeling that way.
A realationship doesn't change anything. Don't get me wrong the right person can make you life better.
But just If it's the right person. And if you never met anyone whomb you want to be in a realationship with, it doesn't matter if you had 7 long realationships with 30 or never kissed anyone.
I hope you get my point. Sorry for my English. Love to all of you ❤
Love your content ❤
Being alone is more fun than ever. ❤ You'll learn so much. ❤️
If you never had a relationship, how do you know being single is just as great? Having a deep intimate relationship can be very fulfilling. the challenge of sharing your inner world with a person outside of yourself, and learning how to trust someone else with your body and soul, all of that makes you grow as a person. Sure, some relationships are unhealthy or unhappy, but that doesn't mean that love in and of itself is negligible, or nothing but an addictive norm. Just like with family relations- some familes are bad, but a great one can enrich your life and offer a necessary sense of community. We should encourage people to have meaningful relationships, instead of pushing them to seek isolation.
Wonderful video 👏🏽
fully aware this video is no about that, but I wanted to comment to bring awareness to the fact that aromantic and asexual people exist and it's a completely valid orientation. Whoever out there needs to hear it: you're not broken.
@@veronice_ronnie well, i think we mean different things but I'm not looking to get into an argument so yeah, sure, that too!
@@veronice_ronnienot even the same thing lmao but sure
(I'm on the ace and aro spectrum and my sex drive is just fine, thank you! I just don't feel the need to date people(
@stvltiloqvent omg I'm sorry. I really genuinely thought it's the same. I just Googled some about it.thank you for telling me even though the girl before you told me now that I read it clearly. I'll delete the comment right away!
@@theannmartinwhat did they said?
@@stvltiloqventwhat did they say?
A romantic partner can be a compliment to you, but never a missing piece of you❤ Stay strong Queens, here's your crown 👑🫶🏻✨️
Thanks queen 💅
I’m 19, still very young in my eyes, and never had ANY experience either. It used to bother me but then I look at my straight taken friends and their relationships or partners are definitely not something I’m jealous of. I know my time will come, I know it’ll probably be a little later and I’m so okay with that. Rather I’d be with the love of my life in a few years than to have something „casual“ with an immature teenage teenage boy who would contribute nothing good to my life. Tbh I had this feeling since I was younger, maybe I’m just a late bloomer but I’m definitely meant for something real and I stand by that😌
From 6th to 8th grade the question
"Who is your crush" always stuck it they didn't ask celebrity crushes and for me if I didn't answer they would have been like "either tell us who your crush is or sit alone"
I used to turn my head and sit alone
Why can't people accept that few people don't constantly have crushes
Found my comment section, hi sisters 🎉
Also never had my first kiss or been in a real relationship. The male validation thing is crazy, the way it causes me to overthink. There's also the thought that rather this than be in a toxic, cold, unaffectionate relationship. And the disbelief that a guy could ever actually like me (even by the off chance they do). It's crazy man.
This video came at the exact right time! Some friends keep pushing to go to the club and find boys for me, but I just want to take it slow. I don’t wanna be part of the current hook-up dating area. I found a boy tho, but he lives on the other side of the world. We’re gonna try to make it work and tbh, i don’t care if i have to wait a few years. I rather go unkissed until then, then that i join the hook-up culture. Thank you Zoë for this video!
do you have dis/cord?
I honestly never felt that attracted to someone to want to be bothered or talk to them. I think I’m also scared of the opposite sex 😅 so that too.
I've had my first kiss and first boyfriend last year when i was 22. I must say i kind of rushed into it because i felt embarrassed that I've never had a bf before, but now i regret it sm and i wish i was more patient, but then, at least i figured out I'm better off alone at least for now and I'm not mentally ready for that kind of a commitment and sure as hell that he wasn't either 😅
I guess i can say now that I'm single by choice and waiting till the perfect one appears. Because I'm not going to settle for some half assed or toxic relationships just for the sake of being in a one. 🤧
I just came across this channel and I love Zoe so much! Queen, you slay!
Thank you❣️
Her voice is so so soothing- voice aside Zoe is speaking truth
23 and never kissed a girl. In my teens I always wanted to get into a relationship because I was a hopeless romatic and had so much love to give. I always wanted to give a girl all the emotional support she needs and deserves. I got approached a couple times by girls but I always had to reject them because 1) I cannot talk to girls and 2) I was insecure and felt like they deserve better. Now my youth is quickly fading away and I'm getting bitterer by the day. Girls don't approach me anymore because years of depression. My resting b**** face and being 6'4 of athletic physique make me look more intimidating than I actually am. I'm feeling like an empty shell of a human being, with no personality or goals. A real life NPC. And on top of that I still can't talk to women. Last time I got hugged was in highschool. Needless to say, it's over.
What do you mean it’s over? Your twenty three man. You’ve got so much more life to live and experience. People always say you’ll find love when you least expect it just keep hanging on. ❤❤❤
i have never been happier in a relationship in comparison to being single. i think this is because everytime ive started a relationship or situationship with someone my intentions were to be in a relationship. this blocked me from building truly meaningful and real bonds w the guys especially because i often didnt know them as friends before. the social pressure i felt in high school to date and get "experience" before college, and the insecurity of being alone pushed me into these. yet when i was in them i always ended up realizing how much happier i was on my own and dumped the guy a few weeks or months in. the second the honeymoon phase ended i always realized how little our relationship equated to. so for all the single girlies out there, enjoy it! ive been embracing it the past year and ive never felt more confident in myself and my lifestyle. maybe one day the right guy will come and ill be ready for him, but i dont even care anymore lol, and omg its liberating.
one way for me that makes the alone time less lonely is praying. truly seeking Jesus in the quiet brings so much peace !!
Listen guys. I'm 23. I had my first serious relationship at 13, my first kiss at about 14 or 15 , and my first sex a week before I turned 16. Super early bloomer.
By now, I've had 5 long-lasting relationships (with each lasting at least a year), 2-3 situationships and 1 planned marriage (which eventually failed bc I broke up with my fiancé a month before the wedding). Been awfully disenchanted or betrayed about 2 or 3 times.
I've been single for the past 1,5 years (no sex or anything) and I have a very hard time believing ANY relationship can work out for me EVER.
Conclusion. Being an early bloomer isn't always a flawless experience, either. Actually, I would trade a lot to be able to call myself a late bloomer... it would save me a lot of tears and painful deceptions, and, besides, I would have a lot more faith in men and fewer trust issues now.
I love your videos. They have helped me a lot to appreciate and accept the way i am and to accept that i dont need to have a boyfriend or be successful to be satisfied with myself 💖💖💖💖 THANK YOU REALLY MUCH!
I'm 21 and too young to be thinking this but I haven't ever felt understood or connected to anyone nor I ever felt anyone had a true interest in me, even in my friendships, I don't think there ever was a true sense of love in those situations, and recently I've been feeling like it's too much and maybe I'll have to get use to the idea of being just me or just have people to keep me company for a while but not to be there for me. The only romantic interaction I had was holding hands with a guy that at the time I thought I liked but I probably just idealized him,since I was young i had the idea that romantic relationships were too much responsibility and i didn't felt confident enough to get one, it hasn't changed since, and I maybe need therapy but It makes me feel a lot better to read that I'm not the only one that hasn't lived a perfect teenage romance, cause back then I never wanted or needed one, and not being the only one is comforting
You may want to look at aromantic identities!
@@yotuba9493 I actually did read about it, but I'm not completely convinced,I haven't met many people to actually say that, maybe it's just trauma or I have attachment issues, my mom told me she had postpartum depression and I think many of my issues come from that bc of how much young I was when I started to experience difficulties with many things. But I think if that's not the case I might be aromatic and asexual, or be in between those two, I still long for romance or connections but who knows
I relate to this so much its so painfully truthful as I myself feel the way you do but I'm much younger..(16), but we are both very young so when the time is right, you will certainly find your person and be happy, I hope you're going well!
@@SnapeArgento Part of it could just be communities being way too individualistic these days in certain places, so it's harder to make close connections in general (even friends).
Especially after covid things got a LOT more isolated and chances to interact with people get rarer.
I‘m 19 had my first kiss yesterday and he also is my first boyfriend now 🎀😊
Let’s not forget social anxiety 😟
Hi, i know this is unrelated to the video but your hair looks really cool!! ❤😊
Unrelated but I loveeee you style it’s so cute
Right? She looks like an angel in white 👼😮
@@veronice_ronnie do you have dis/cord?
For queer people getting into romantic relationships is even harder. Like, I would never use a dating app even if it's specifically for queer people because I'm afraid of hate crime. Not to mention there are much less queer people in the world than cisgender heterosexual. It's not enough to value your time alone as a queen person, because all our time alone is just isolating. 💔
I agree, plus I would like to see content about this too since I feel like most of these videos (that talk about being single) are usually for straight people
lgbtq meetups
@@missfanari And even with the straight people videos, it usually boils down to men being angry about it and women feeling happier alone. Which is... concerning. Both because of the supposed violent rise of incel attacks that claim will happen as society collapses from unhappy men, and because of what being single making women happier implies about the quality of their relationships with men. The root cause seems to be men just not being good partners a lot of the time, so that's what needs to be checked, but many guys just prefer to whine and hate women for asking too much of them.
So the straights are not okay lol.
What's different now than before to have caused this though?
Well, women now have a choice. They don't have to put up with an unhealthy relationship just because divorce is illegal or their husbands own them or they aren't allowed to work. But the world was focused on changing women to be more independent and neglected teaching men how to act around them as equals enough. So there's an imbalance of progress that's clashing.
But these are just my theories on what's going on anyway.
Would love too see more queer videos to be able to theorise on that side too haha, but I just haven't seen that side talked about at all really.
I’m 16 and this is what I fear. Many of my friends express how much they enjoy “teenage love” and are encouraging me to date, but I am just SO shy. I’ve only had 2 guys hit on me in my entire life, but didn’t even catch their names both times because I got out of there as fast as I could. I get crushes on guys and everything, I just constantly second-guess myself. It’s the bane of my existence
Hey! I'm 16 too and strongly relate to you, good to know their are some sane teenagers out there as most teens these days are so obnoxious. I'm also in constant fear that I will not experience teenage love but HELL you never know sometimes life's unexpected so expect the unexpected haha..but yea you have lots of years ahead of you so just keep your head up high :p
do you have dis/cord?
@@ville__ She said she's 16, are you trying to end up on one of those videos of "catching a discord predator"? Edit: And checking your channel out it looks like you're 30 too... Back off dude.
I'm 24 and never had a boyfriend before. You know what's funny when I was 21 I thought I will have a boyfriend by this time. I was like you know what I have time just be patient it will happen. Now I don't even know if it will happen. I'm at a point where I will lie to men about my relationship experience because most adults don't want to date inexperienced people unfortunately. It is what it is.
Single is better