confession: I've never had a boyfriend | Healing Diaries Ep6
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- čas přidán 10. 02. 2023
- confession: I've never had a boyfriend at 24- A video journal.
healing from depression, documented. Subscribe to the series to grow and heal together❤️🩹
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Do you love/ hate being single?
i hate being single ): and when i did fall in love i got rejected ):
It's 50/50 for me honestly 😂 I love and hate being single simultaneously
@@Nourrr675 exactly the same situation with me :(
@@inesc39 I Feel you 🥺
@@JulesSeptember2307 relatable hahaha
29 and still single. Gosh I needed this video. Seeing friends dating, in relationship, getting married and having children...
While I tried dating through apps for a little while, nobody "clicked". Right now I'm focusing on my mental health but sometimes being single gets really lonely 🥺
Currently single at 28, was in depressing relationships for 10 years (3 diff guys, none really clicked I just settled bc I didn’t want to be lonely)
Would not recommend either…
I just try to focus on my bachelors degree rn but the loneliness is still hard to deal with…
I never had a good experience with dating app tbh, it's so exhausting, having to get to know someone without knowing where it's heading and when it goes nowhere you have to try it with the next person from the scratch, and you do that over and over again..and no one clicked..lol
God is always with you whether you know it or not currently. Why not have a relationship with Him? 😊
Me tooo
Single with 33 and boy it does feel like everyone is finding theiR family and starting that I feel like an astronaut. And this video is really something I so needed
Honestly so thankful for my single season as it helped me get to know myself enough to recognize a good partner for me later
I agree
Later when..like when you run out of eggs?..
@@Omar_PS9inchhswhat
@@Omar_PS9inchhs being obsessed with a random stranger's eggs isn't a good look, just so you know.
@@Omar_PS9inchhs later when... you find out women think youre disgusting?..
As a person who just cannot take a part in hookup culture, i also struggle with dating a lot. Everyone are always suprised that i tell them that i've never been in relationship (also 24 here) and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. I am mostly content with my life and how it is right now. I know my worth and i know what i want, and if i can't have what i deserve, i am not gonna waste my time. BUT sometimes it really hurts and i feel very lonely. Like sometimes i think that there's something wrong with me. So thank you for sharing this! It really helps - knowing that that there are other people like us who struggle with this. 💜
Wow.. Thanks for writing this! I felt every words you’ve written, I could have written the exact same thing tbh!
(I’m also going to turn 24 this year)
But yeah, I wish you the best and to be happy!
I feel exactl, the same. I've always been bad at catching feelings and seeing girls around me getting crushes, boyfriends sometimes made me feel like there's something wrong with me
Same here, I’m so glad that there’s a community of people that this resonates with. (I’m also 24 and have never been in a relationship)
Yeah me too sometimes i lie to them because i dont want to feel awkward
Yeah I feel you. The reaction is almost like silent judgement or sometimes even pity and it's sad that people think only romantic relationships makes one feel happy
I've never had a boyfriend either so you're not alone sister! 🤧🙏🤣 I'm turning 21 this year. Bwahaha
Am actually turning 20 and here I am😂good am not alone🤧🤧
Omg same, I found my community. 21 and Half (almost) haha.
I'm going to turn 23 in may, never dated or even kissed a guy 🥲
@@Himanshi.Y GURL SAME 🤧🙏😂
Same I'm 21 never have been in a relationship before and I am living my best life!
24 and never even kissed anyone. And I’m not unhappy about it, which is somehow a shock to most people. I feel you in this video 💜
Same
Me too and I have 27 years old 🤷♀️
Same
I never had a boyfriend at 32. and yes, people realy do find hard to accept,asking questions about marriage and future often. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on something realy special that seems to come so naturally to most people. but most of the time I'm fine. I'm kind to myself. Some people say I'm being picky. but I'm just not desperate.
I have so much respect for you omg. hope you’re doing well🫶🏼
@Lê calazanz I'm in the exactly the same situation.
Love your "it's not that I'm being picky, it's just that I'm not desperate". I will use this in the future.
Thank you!!
@@ralumiclee Girl, use it. always works lol
@@lailiecarrillo this is so beautiful!! I'm doing fine, thanks. I am
taking care of my mental health, exercising. trying to be a better person. Much respect for you 🌸
Even though I’m only 17 I kind of feel the same!! Thanks for the words of courage 😊
I never had a boyfriend either and I'm 26. I come from a Nigerian family where marriage is a MUST and I've tried to find a good relationship as early as 12 years old. I eventually gave up at age 19 and went through a dark depression like I felt undesirable or "ugly" to find a date. Eventually I stopped looking and wanted to focus on my own happiness instead of with someone else. Plus I sometimes get annoyed when my aunt's and uncles constantly ask me if there's a guy in my life, which there is none and will stay that way.
You go girl. I'm proud of you that you went out from your depression. 💓💓
@@Fee___ thank you. It was a really hard time for me during high school.
@@SweetlyStar3 I'm African and I know how tiring and annoying some black families can get when it comes to mariage. Ig it's because some of them aren't develop, they're too traditional
@@joellecheumaha2084 and I agree. I mean my little sister has a boyfriend (been seeing of 2 years) and yet my family keeps using it as a tool for guilt. They even once suggested online dating for me, that just makes me feel worse about myself.
i come from a nigerian family too, they’re so obsessed with marriage it’s not even funny 😭 i’m much younger than you but i definitely understand. i think what you’re doing is great & there’s nothing wrong with you - i havent liked anybody in years because my standards are high and i refuse to settle. i’d rather be single than waste my energy on a relationship that’s not going to benefit me 🤷🏾♀️ wouldn’t do me any good
I'm a gay 23 year old male and I'm a total virgin who's never been kissed or even had a relationship since middle school. Sometimes I feel very ashamed like something is wrong with me especially with how sexual other gay guys are. I've spent some time on grindr but I didn't like it. However thanks to Zoe's videos my whole perspective about being single has changed. The way I see it, I have the rest of my life to be in a relationship so right now, I should enjoy the time I have alone. I can literally do whatever I want without having to worry about my partner's opinion.
Yeah man, honestly I experienced the same thing for years as a bisexual guy. By some miracle I have a boyfriend, but I think part of the reason we resonated with each other was the fact that our bond developed naturally after we met in a professional setting. On a lot of gay dating apps I think the sexual part is super overemphasized because for years we literally haven’t been given an outlet to express our desires, so we subconsciously make up for it now. It’s good that you’re taking time for yourself, but whenever you seriously get back into seeking a partner, from one queer man to another, let me advise you to seek out interactions in more natural, everyday scenarios, rather than dating apps.
I am 27 and a lesbian and i can totally relate to your story
I too feel the same and it's especially harder for me since I'm not in an accepting country. Hopefully one day its going to happen and let's use this time to sort ourselves out
@@gigachad3925 Glad that you're Atleast in a environment where people accept you for who you truly are, can't imagine the weird things queer people in my country would hear from this society.
35 year old gay man here who did the whole "use sex to cope with loneliness" strategy for years here. Don't do what I did. I'm at the point where the idea of having sexual intercourse with someone is nothing but a physical thing to me, but the idea of emotionally opening up to someone makes me extremely uncomfortable. Sadly there are a lot of gay men out there like myself. There are a multitude of reasons why that's the case, and it's a case by case basis. I'm not saying this for sympathy. I honestly could care less about it. I think it's important that people learn from the mistakes of others, so they go down those roads themselves.
Find someone you can actually connect with emotionally. The physical aspects of a relationship can & will wane over time. If homie is more interested in screwing around, it's better to wipe your hands clean of him and let him have his fun elsewhere. He's not going to change unless he truly wants to. I wish you the best on your future endeavors wherever they lead you. Your life is your life & don't let any b***h tell you anything different.
Being happy and single should really be more common in the media as being in a relationship is not required for one to live a fulfilling life and I so appreciate you making this video because of this!!
exactly!!
Totally agree!
also, the happiest demographic of people are single, childfree women.
I'm feeling very depressed and lonely for 3 years now. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I will never find a special puzzle piece in my life to spend time with and I really don't know what it means to find it. I hate big and upper ranks CZcamsrs and artist online. Look at me, I'm just a lower rank. I'm no upper rank. Sometimes I really wish to be erased from reality and the universe. Maybe that would make them happy so they can be satisfied. I'm thinking about doing it now. I have no one. Those upper ranks do but not me. I still have friends and family, but there is one special thing that i really need in my life and I really don't know what it is right now.😞
Getting into a relationship when mot in the right state of mind simply because you believe a relationship will solve all your problems is also a no no and somethig that happens frequently
I'm 25 and never even tried dating before because it sounds terrifying. I saw friends go through breakups and it's not pretty. So I focused on myself, going to college, making friends and currently job searching. But ever since I turned 25 my mom, her friends and my family has been constantly bothering me about getting a boyfriend. They started complaining I'm in my mid 20s and I'm running out of time. They told me to date my friends but that just feels wrong. I feel perfectly fine being single.
Just hold the line being single and eventually they give up and stop annoying you. I dealt with it up through 25 but once I turned 26 last year it's started to decline. I'm predicting that by the time I'm 30 and still single people will finally get it and write me off as a lost cause. Than I can have peace.
Attractive women are never single.
U r unattractive and incel
"Running out of time" is such an unhealthy mindset. Don't give in to those thoughts. You can find a partner at any age.
This is literally my story too. I’m turning 26 this month and have never even kissed someone. Some days I’m perfectly fine with it and other days I feel embarrassed about my lack of experience. I recently decided (with encouragement from my therapist lol) to give dating a try so I’m about to make a dating profile; we’ll see how it goes.
As a teenage girl with everyone around me fantasizingabout boys, dating, or flirting with boys, I'm starting to doubt whether I'm asexual or not. Thank you so much for this video, as it gives me insight how it feels to have been "母胎solo" for 24 years, as it solidifies my belief that I'm really asexual (maybe even aromantic) 😂
OMG I HAVE BEEN THINKING THE SAME FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE😭 glad to know I’m not alone in this!
I'm ace but Hetero so I get this confusion all the time. I think being in love would be great, but right now, I need to be on my own because I'm not mentally ready at all. Basically, think what's best for you. Figuring stuff out is overrated just gotta try to exist first 😎👍
Same same 母胎solo is fun and lonely at the same time
Fun until your hair starts falling from never brestfeeding..
I'm 23 and yeah I've been single all my life. Actually I was in the same situation as you back in my teenage years lol; I ended up figuring out I was asexual at 20 -21 ish as I came to the realization of how different some of my life experiences were to other people of my age. So don't stress on labeling yourself but also don't lose yourself to fit with other people's ideals on how your life should be
Girl, you're not alone. I'm turning 21 this year never had a bf, first kiss. I've always been bad at catching feelings and seeing the girls around me getting crushes and boyfriends sometimes made me feel like there's something wrong with me. Now even though i would like to experience it atleast once in my 20s i think i'd be okay if i stay single. But sometimes there are days where i just feels so lonely and hope the day will finally come
Wow i am in the EXACT same situation haha!! Never had a boyfriend or first kiss at almost 21…i had some opportunities but they were lowkey trash (i have dignity) and the guys that I actually like end up liking my friends instead, but i only liked 2 guys and normally don’t care about relationships and just accepted myself since i really love my space and freedom. It’s lonely sometimes and i feel some jealousy towards more ‘beautiful’ and ‘popular’ people and not the fact that they have relationships so in the end of the day i just need to work on and love myself. Everyone has their own lives and we are infinite so just care about you because one day you’ll have someone and be grateful that you’ve spent time on you
22 and same to everything you wrote! feels good to know that you're not alone, sending you virtual hugs :)
Same here!! I'm turning 21 this week and I was feeling kinda sad and disappointed for not being in a relationship but now that I see your comments and also Zoe's video I see this with another perspective.
I‘m also turning 21 this year, never been in a relationship, nor been kissed. I only had a situationship (if you can even call it that way?!), where this guy I really liked had an extreme avoidant attachement style. I also think that he just used me for the attention I gave him. Out of all dates that we‘ve been on, only one time he had asked me out. And that was the first time. With this guy I always was in my masculine energy. He never even tried to be more touchy/intimate with me. And in the end he just wasted 2 years of my life. I think Zoey has a point of being already fullfilled with your own life, so you don‘t need a relationship. But I can‘t help being a hopeless romantic person. It‘s something I‘ve always dreamed of… But if I‘m being honest, right now I could never be in a relationship bc I‘m on a healing journey and I learn so much more about myself than I did during school. And also I really believe that the right person comes at the right time. Just be patient! Anyways I‘m sending you lots of love xx❤️
Dw u r still young
U r probably gonna find the right person Inshaallah
Ofc if u wanted a relationship
Good luck 😊
The most discouraging thing about being single for a long time especially if youre a woman for example like me I'm 28 is often being some sort of outcast in my family. I come from a Latino family and it's very common for a woman my age in our community to have kids a husband etc etc. No matter how many times I explain to my family that I just haven't found that person yet, they make my singleness out to be like it's my fault, like I'm a weirdo just because I don't just want to settle with anyone for the the heck of it.
I’m sorry this has been your experience. 😢
Misery loves company lol
It is 100 percent your fault because you probably have a job but don’t understand it’s ALSO your job to find a man 🤷♂️
@@whopper5150209 nah. No female species are responsible to find mate. It's your job. No wonder you're single ;)
It happens to guys all the time. My cousins constantly nag me for not having a girlfriend.
Okay
1st: Girl, you are so pretty!!
2nd: I am 21 and never had a boyfriend too, i never even had my first kiss. I just healed from depression and social anxiety (I am still shy though), and, for a very long time, i just didn't wanna have a boyfriend because I thought I would make him suffer and for an even longer time, i thought i was just a loser that couldn't have a boyfriend. This year, i just accepted it, i still want a boyfriend, but, if i never have one, I've decided I am going to live a just as happy (or even happier) life. I am in a journey of personal growth, I've been working out, reading, meditating, and just learning about many things, trying to succeed in college and build a carreer later. You've been very inspirational for me, Zoe, thank you☺️
Been single for 32 years. Dated a little when I was 20, but they only wanted sex, and I didn't. Then I started University, and I just didn't have the energy or the mental health to really invest in the pursuit of love and dating, so I just didn't. At this point in my life, I still want a partner to spend time with, care for, and be cared for back. BUT... I just don't feel the need. The idea of going on apps, specifically looking for a guy, doing the whole "working on a connection" is just too much work. Honestly, if I could just wake up tomorrow and already be deep into a 6-year relationship, I would have preferred it. 😃 It can get lonely sometimes, but the fact that I am "single" very rarely crosses my mind. Only when other people ask me about "when I get a boyfriend" do I even remember that it's something I apparently should be working on.
Same, I'm your age too.
Same. I’ve always been trapped between just no one approaching, them only wanting sex, only unappealing guys asking, or just me battling mental health issues and not feeling healthy enough to even get in a relationship. I don’t think I’m that unattractive but obviously there’s something about me that puts men off. Maybe it’s my RBF.
I relate to your experience, unfortunatelly the older you get the worst you feel about it, sometimes it's not even because of the lonelyness but it's because of the comparison between you and people your age. Everybody gets married and have children or either live free and just have sex around and you are there, you don't belong to none of that and you can"t talk about it because you will get looked down
The fact that I also wanna be single forever but I'm not sure for how long can I go
@@linmonPIE There are guys who want more than just sex
I was single until 21 and then, out of the sudden, my boyfriend came along and we're a couple for almost 7 years now. And tbh I'm glad I didn't waste time with situationships - imagine i would have missed out on my relationship because of them.
Wow! How did you guys meet?
congrats, that's so cute
@Nao Nyaru I assume you met him while still in your 20s
Can you give tips on your lasting relationship?
wow mbn to be Gods favorite lol ...
I finally got my first bf at 27 🙊. My advice is to just do it. Put yourself out there and just try it. I had severe anxiety about intimacy and attachment and I had counseling prior to meeting my bf. Yes it was helpfull but don't be stuck in the "fixing yourself" mindeset for too long. You can also heal while in a relationship😊
Where did you find him 😢I don't know where to look
Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
@@Hi-ch1yk Try joining some clubs! We've met in a book club 😅
I’m 27 about to be 28 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m still tryna figure out why😭😭 it’s kinda discouraging seeing the dating scene or seeing friends in relationships and getting married and I’m just over here like ”what about me?” I love being single because it allows me to get to know myself without the influence of another person but the closer I get to 30 the more it creeps up on me😭😭 I was feeling so alone but you made me feel so much better about where I am in life!❤
A woman this age and she has never had a boyfriend? Last thing you'd expect to happen to a woman, but it's very believable for a guy or human male
Hey girl I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone, I’m the same age as you are and in the exact same situation. We’ll find love when we’re ready for it, there’s no time limit or certain age to love for the first time. It’s all individual. And please don’t listen to what other people think. Your timing is not anyone’s business. 💗
@@PrettyLittleLiar4 thank you!! ❤️
@@nobodysperfect06 she's the same age as me and I've never been in a relationship. I think guys really assume this type of thing but alot of girls are struggling like us. And because of some messed up girls trying to intimidate men, men don't pursue us as you may think. Alot of men are shy or just go after easy girls. We are waiting for marriage and serious relationships not hookups
@@Hi-ch1yk I've heard many of the incel type of guys insist that "women have it easier" when it comes to dating but then completely ignore the girls who are also struggling or not interested in hookups, I just assume that dating sucks for almost everyone but it might be for different reasons (for example many of us guys get almost no matches while women might get tons of dick pics sent to them or get harassed by creeps, at least I got that impression after listening to other people's dating experiences).
There is different types of single when it comes to those who do want relationships.
*Are you single by choice?* (You've had opportunities as people have presented themselves to you as they were interested in you but you just didn't like them back or was more concerned with other things?)
*Or are you single by force?* (No opportunity has ever been presented to you because nobody likes you)
I'm single by force, sometimes you're just nobody's type 😞
The Virgin Mary literally had more Rizz in her left thumb than I do in my entire being
@@jo1681 Yes, I go outside and touch grass if that's what you mean
For me, I'm a Muslim so I can't date unless of the purpose of marriage but since I'm only 18, I'm not getting married any time soon so I'll enjoy my happy single years with my family for now😌
Planning to get married at 25+
@@britneybij3997 I CANT😭
same sis same
not only that I've never been "liked" I also never really liked anyone except of a guy who turned out to be someone I couldn't even recognize anymore just in the span of a week
Same. I'm the second one 🥹
I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was almost 32. I hated it in my teens and early to mid 20’s because of some things you mentioned-societal pressure, feeling unwanted, and loneliness. I grew to love it so much and was thriving while building a life I loved, then I met a person who just clicked. It’s a different kind of happy, and I’m so grateful for those years I got to know myself so well
Hellooooooo... your comment gives me hope... I'm a 22 year old girl who has never had a boyfriend, and believe me that for some time now I have been feeling bad about it... I see more and more of my acquaintances with boyfriends, getting married and even having children... sometimes I think that my destiny is to be single hahaha.... You as someone who went through that, how can I get used to stop thinking about it... of course I am happy because I have a university career... but at times I feel lonely... Greetings from South America... sorry if my English is not that good... :( but I'm learning this new language....
Very shocking for a woman to be single this long but it's not unusual and not unheard of for a guy to be single that long
@@nobodysperfect06 ok
Something you don't expect to happen to a woman because women are the ones that get pursued and hit on
I’m 31, no relationship, nothing, No love life at all. I feel embarrassed talking about it to people. Your comment gives me hope. Hopefully I find mine as well.
Me neither. Just turned 25 yesterday and don't feel like I'm missing a romantic relationship in my life. Honestly, the concept of dating feels so strange to me and at this point seems like more of a social pressure from my family and friends than something I would want myself. Being single is all I know and I am okay with that. 😊
Update: I realized I am asexual, possibly aromantic as well a few weeks ago so all my lack of interest in people finally makes sense 😅
I'm turning 22 this year... Never being in a relationship or even a situationship, never kissed anyone and honestly I prefer being single. I ended up liking the wrong person, and it messed me up for almost two years, and now I want almost nothing to do with any of that. Of course there’s the occasional longing for a romantic partner, but I guess I have become used to not really being the object of romantic pursuit.
I think that as a society we put too much emphasis on getting in relationships so quickly. It's okay for people to take their time and find someone they truly care about. If they don't find that person that's okay too. I think the key to happiness is learning to accept yourself and realizing your whole regardless of a another person. We need to cherish ourselves more and enjoy life as it goes. This life is absolutely too short to waste it over standards made up by society and the media.
And from what I've noticed as a guy the pressure is applied to people of all genders but in different ways and I wonder if it's one of the reasons why we end up getting guys becoming incels or following grifters telling them that women are to blame for everything (in those cases it's also a result of toxic masculinity, for some time I internalized the idea that you're a loser and a failure of a man no woman will want to date if you're still a virgin after a certain arbitrary age until I realized how nonsensical that idea is), deciding to not follow those outdated ideas anymore was definitely an improvement on my mental health.
this is exactly what i needed! All my friends are dating while i'm single af and i really struggle to stop thinking that's bad. Thanks for the video! It really helped :)
And it’s rarely the being single that gets you or even seeing couples around you/online, it’s the people that are like “oh, well don’t worry, you’ll find someone eventually” that make me feel bad about never having a boyfriend the most
I get you, and actually most times the main problem is simply how the hell do I even meet guys, without dating apps. I mean nobody ever talks about how hard it is to find a partner and
how to meet new people in general.
At least for me it's the hardest part because I don't have the courage to make the first step. Like it's so hard. I mean all you can do is do courses and go to events with people and just get out there and wait. 😂
@@osimonacolucci3110 People who have already been in relationships (and mostly the ones who met at school/uni/through friends etc) always act like meeting guys or girls is so easy. It's hard enough finding and making friends once you've left university... The other thing I get told is that I should just get on a dating app and put up with it even when I say that I'd love to meet someone more naturally like how everyone else did. I don't think they realise (or care to hear about) how difficult and damaging dating apps are and not forgetting the lack of romance.
SAME,I hate situationships. Cause bruhh my mental health is dying. But definitely going to end it thanks to you Zoe,time for those of us in that situation to HEAL AND GROW
I always felt the pressure of "romantic relationships", but now, LITERALLY THIS YEAR, I started to know myself a little better. And I realised that I don't even like having a relationship, I am not interested in it. It's not like when people said "oh, i don't have a relationship. I am so lonely." But I never felt that way. It was always the pressure of seeing my friends or other people at my age having a relationship.
26 and never had a relationship. Now even the thought of having a boyfriend scares me. I'm so naive :( and it's geting lonely and I'm tired of hearing my friends stories about their partners. I just wanna feel love and be loved..
I hope you find the person that brings you every happiness, he’ll be out there somewhere
I'm almost 33 and I have never been in a serious relationship- just complicated situationships. I think this kinda f**ks you up a little but on the other hand I would rather be alone than with a wrong person
Literal same! 33 and nothing serious, just situationships
Same!!! Also 32 and never really dated
Even though I am 18 soon 19, I feel like there’s no one interested in me. My friends constantly keeps talking about boys hitting on them, but no one does it to me. It gets lonely. At the same time I can’t talk to my friends about this, because they don’t understand not getting any attention.
sometimes other people "brag" about how many guys hitting on them for the validation, don't let it get in your way! I am sure you will meet the right person at the right time :)
Listen girlie, I had the same experience as you when I was your age, and I have to accept, it did bruise my self confidence a bit, but lemme tell you something: Everyone of the guys that hit on my girlfrineds were creep-ish dudes and everyone of my friend's relation/situationships were toxic, because all the guys they encountered did not pass the vibe check at all, which made me think that maybe I was being protected from these type of toxic stuff. I mean I'd rather be single that waste my energy on situations that are not good for me. When I was 20 I started getting hit on, the age rage of guys around me was older then when I was teen, so they were more mature and just better. I didn't get hit on much, but the guys that did were decent dudes, which makes you appreciate it more. I eventually met the right person at this age, and he's literally better than i wanted, and we're still going strong❤ I have to admit that being single was not that bad. I was working on myself, growing as a person, and when I was ready I did manifest the right person for me. Hope this helped. ❤
26 years old man here, and never had a girlfriend. I was terrified of trying because of my low self esteem. I still am. I don't want to be a burden for women... But I have so much love to give ! Also I'm shy
Same here :/.
Same. Being a burden to someone (and especially someone you love) is one of my biggest fears.
As a woman, shy men are wonderful. We love shy men. I understand you very well, because I often have thoughts like this too, but I promise you - unless you get all this love out too quickly, most women will be so happy with the received attention. Show interest by asking questions and getting to know her, some small compliments and gestures at the beginning (like holding the door open, offering to hold something) will be fantastic too. Do that, and almost any woman will fall for you.
If you get rejected while acting like a sweet and caring person because of your looks or anything similar to that, she wasn't worth it in the first place.
@@fictionalcharacter715 Thank you, that's sweet :)
@@clementm9161 No problem! You go, my man! You sound like an awesome person, and I'm sure you'll find an equally wonderful sweetheart to spend your life with!
I really needed this video, i never had a boyfriend and im 21 and so insecure about it😢 so thank you 🌸
Please don't be. I promise you, you will find your person when the time is right. ❤
@@headintheclouds02 i hope thank you😊😊
@@helena_zimt3278 your welcome 🙂
I am 21 and guy.I never had a girlfriend.I would enjoy having one but i am mentally strong enough to enjoy my hobbies,goals and forget about it
@@Blackpill149cope harder
As a 21 year old who've never been into a relationship nor a situationship, I relate to your experince. Being single was never a problem to me. I have no time for dating nor getting into a serious relationship. I am at the phase of my life where I wanna expolre the world, and honestly, I am fully enjoying focusing on myself. I love where I'm at today being independent and growing while still being entirely free.
I’ll be 24 in March and never had a bf.
1. Our culture discourage/it’s frowned upon when you date when you’re a teenager, so I never did
2. Now I’m a little overweight so I really don’t think guys are in to me.
3. When guys look at me, I immediately think they are making fun of me
4. After so long, I really don’t think it’s a necessity anymore
5. But I do think how it feels like. I miss it. But how do you miss something you never had?
This is literally me!
Wow, sounds like we’ve had literally the same life. I’m 22, in college, and am the only one out of like 19 dude friends that doesn’t have a gf. Sometimes it gets to me, but other times I realize that I’ve already got enough to deal with right now. I’ve had people tell me that I’m justifying my loneliness and need to branch out, but this video (combined with others) has made me realize that love is all just fortune. Some people run across their perfect match at 15, some at 30, others at 45, and some don’t find it ever (and that’s ok). You can hasten the process by throwing yourself out there through dating, but you’ll probably get your heart stomped a fair few times in the process. If getting in a relationship is important to YOU (not to your friends, or your parents, and for the right reasons) then take the plunge! But if you’ve got higher priorities, that’s ok too. Love isn’t going to be any less meaningful the longer you wait. Let it rest, and slow down. Life is meant to be savored.
You've hit the right spot: love is pretty much just fortune. Society emphasises so much being 'healed', grounded, blah blah all that stuff to sell you sentimental coaching. But the truth is, you can be traumatised, you can be depressed, you can have a hard time loving yourself and you can still find someone who will love you and bear with you through love. It's just a matter of luck. And given how individualistic people are turning more and more nowadays, this is even more difficult to find.
I was late in the dating game too, I didn't have a relationship until the age of 24 which lasted until I was 27-28, since then I haven't managed to get another one. I forced myself to enjoy hookup culture a little bit, it was cool at times although not completely my thing so tried to date seriously several people. None worked. Always asking myself whether I'm the problem, whether I'm unlovable meanwhile these dudes would say there's absolutely nothing wrong with me and I check all the marks they're looking for in a woman. Yet... they don't have a relationship with me or we're not that compatible. There's really nothing else I can do but just be open to meeting new people, and still nothing guarantees that'll bring me the relationship I'd like to have, as I'm loving by nature and find a healthy partnership enriching. I have to accept it might nor might never happen for me. Nothing is secure and people who think a relationship is something you can achieve purposefully are not only delusional, but also those who stay in the wrong relationships and marriages.
I've never even had a crush on anyone before and I turn 19 in 3 months 🤣 we've got your back, Zoe 😂❤️
omg same!! glad I'm not the only one haha
@@swbymii YAASSS IM NOT ALONE 😭✨
I had so many crushes😂
But well can't date any of em
So yeah single at 18😌😂
I’ve had lots of crushes but i never had bf in my 18 years of life almost 19 in 5 months, so yeah we’re not alone🫶
same! gonna be 21 soon
I'm also 24 and been single my whole life ✨hang in there sister ♥️
I really enjoyed this! Amazing editing.
My boyrfriend just broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I've never experienced this type of agony and grief. Literally feels like someone died.
But looking back--- I was definitely giving my all and losing myself in the process and only getting breadcrumbs...
So I'm learning to find myself again. I'm amazed at your introspection and fulfillment in yourself; truly inspiring
Been in the exact situation as you described it. The first 3 months really do feel like a grieving process and it sucks to go through but you’ll learn so much about yourself and become so strong
I've been there too and honestly it still hurts every once in a while just like any grieving process. Hope you find your healing and get your heart fixed soon
@@eline_sandes thank you
i figured that a breakup is grieving a version of u with ur partner so it really is a death i think
@@lougauchet142 it really is. My whole life revolved around him, and one day he was gone.
Never had a boyfriend and I am 23. Omg you are speaking everything I want to tell people about. Wow this video❤
I’ve been single for 28 years of my life (going 29) and this video resonated with me so much. There’s been so much pressure from different people but honestly, I feel like I’m in such a good place learning to love myself more and being loved by family & friends. I also hate having to settle for anything less than I deserve so others may say I’m being picky but if a guy won’t see my worth then I’m better off without him. Anyway, there’s no deadline to finding love so here’s to hoping we get to live happy & content lives (with or without a significant other)!🥂
This I love. Thank you Zoe. I never have a boyfriend and I'm 22. When random guys approach me I completely freak out. I don't have many guy friends and I won't date any of the existing rare ones. Dating is tiring. Falling in love is almost like wasting time fantasizing in your brain. I am not ready but at the same time it feels like I am missing out on something.
I feel like you describe it oerfectly
And in some loving society, you can get ridiculed for staying single for too long.
"What? You've never dated before? Something must be wrong with you."
"Just lower your standards, don't be too picky"
"You should be worried. You're at this age."
Thanks for speaking about this- finding happiness without a romantic relationship is so important! I wish that being single didn't have such negative connotations. :') I'm only a teenager and although I can't tell my future, I don't see myself interested in dating. This video makes me feel inspired and less alone
Being single is a great time to prioritize yourself and really get to know who you are and what you want from life (and your future partner). Honestly unless it's a healthy relationship with someone special, it's better to be single. Also, the lessons you learn from that time will help you appreciate when you meet someone who's genuinely your person ☺️
This is so wonderful to see. Especially when you talk about romance AND personal connection since some people are aromatic. As someone who is asexual but wants romantic relationships, the loneliness is rough but I'm with you that I'm not willing to give up my time for unfulilling relationship with someone I'm not compatible with.
I had two major relationships in my early 20s and then, after the second relationship broke apart, I spent almost 5 years being single. I even turned 30 as a single woman (the horror! apparently). I dated a bit but soon found it pretty boring and decided to only date if I felt a connection with someone. I had a blast for 5 years and did so much without having to arrange everything with another person. And then I somehow found the person who made my life better and everything just clicked into place. Without having to waste time on pointless dates.
As someone who is in a relationship… I think you are thinking about relationships in the wrong way. You are asking yourself “what does it bring to my life?” When relationships are all about giving and loving. You’re bringing light and love into someone else’s life and love is a selfless act. I’m not saying get walked on and taken advantage of, but loving someone should be selfless not selfish. We have this notion that “there’s always something better” but, with that mentality you’ll never foster enough connection to actually know if you like them. Love grows with time and love at first sight isn’t real and fades out.
This is such valuable content as it's so rare to come by. I've also never had a boyfriend at 25 and it's something that gets more obvious day by day as all my friends get long-term boyfriends and shiny engagement rings. I love being single too, however, it's almost impossible to not look around in wonder sometimes and ask "what's wrong with me? will anyone ever look at me that way?' But it's real for so many of us, and it's raw and personal. So thankful for this healing series!
I have been single untill 27. Then I met my boyfriend and I remember thinking 'this might be it'. This is ten years ago :) Not trying to say that the only 'happy ending' is finding a boyfriend. I'm just saying: YOU know what's best for you!
Where did you meet him 😢 I don't know where to look
@@Hi-ch1yk I met him through online dating 🙈 (not an app like tinder, but an actual datingwebsite).
26 and also never had a boyfriend. I don't hate being single but I also don't love being lonely.
i really needed this, i haven‘t finished watching the vid even. But still just seeing the title, lifted a little pressure from my heart. I have never been in a releationship too, and now at 21 its starting to raise questions in my social circle and hence in myself.
thank u zoe ❤
As a teenager who has never been in a relationship this video made me feel so much better like there's no rush. thank you
Thank you. This video made me realize that I need to be a better friend to myself. I’ve been through all the stages : wanting to be in relationship, being content being alone, lots and lots of personal non stopping development 😅, looking for someone, not looking, just surviving .. I feel like these days I’m just taking it how it is for now and today, and letting myself breath, knowing and hoping that - one day …
It’s literally love/hate relationship being single - all the pressure from everyone and everywhere, sometimes feeling alone.. but being able to be on your own and love “being alone” hard to describe.. for sure not something for forever. When it’s getting weird cause your family starts to pick on you, when all your childhood friends are married with kids, when your younger friends are married, so .. you find new single friends to hang out with😅 connected through interests & hobbies and that’s life saving honestly ..
Sometimes I’m losing hope. And then remind myself it’s better to be by myself than unhappy with someone. This video gave me a quick boost to not give up. Cause I’m never going to settle, for anything less than I deserve
Also I’m 28, turning 29 this year. Never in a relationship (feels like support group)
I’ve been in an extremely similar situation and I found the whole thing really difficult to talk about because I felt so humiliated. I really admire you for speaking up about this to your audience, and hope that anyone else in a similar boat realises that they’re not the one who should be ashamed of themselves.
just turned 27 in December and never had a boyfriend either💁🏻♀️
i'm 23 and single. i feel kind of frustrated that i'm still am and i really wouldn't mind being in a relationship. But growing up as a girl in quite a conservative family where i was told to "never talk to boys", i find i feel guilty for wanting to date, as if it's somethng "bad", that i'd be a slut if i "dare speak to men before marriage" or something stupid like that. honestly i'm really conflicted and idk what to do :C
I'm feeling very depressed and lonely for 3 years now. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I will never find a special puzzle piece in my life to spend time with and I really don't know what it means to find it. I hate big and upper ranks CZcamsrs and artist online. Look at me, I'm just a lower rank. I'm no upper rank. Sometimes I really wish to be erased from reality and the universe. Maybe that would make them happy so they can be satisfied. I'm thinking about doing it now. I have no one. Those upper ranks do but not me. I still have friends and family, but there is one special thing that i really need in my life and I really don't know what it is right now.😞
Girl, don't worry. Life goes so many ways. I'm your age and have been in a relationship for 6 years with someone older than me, I feel its mostly because I came from an unstable family and searched for a safe ground and comfort i never received home in a different person quickly. Over time, I can't say if I'm happy I've spent my late teenage years and early 20s in a relationship or if I regret it. It brought me a lot of good memories and the stability I seeked as well as a lot of pain and I didn't really have the time and ability to get to know myself and I'm making up for that now. What I'm trying to say is that everyone's story is different and there's no point in comparing yourself to others. As said in the video, the grass is always greener on the other side. Focus on yourself and nourishing friendships, your hobbies, living well in general. Try to bring fulfilment to yourself alone first and then maybe you will be able to share it with someone else too! It is easier said than done but I believe we both can work hard and be happy in the future, single or not. Have a great day ❤
You are truly an inspiration Zoe!! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your honesty, and how much work you put into these videos.
ily💕
Ha, I found my first boyfriend at 30, we were friends, but now we are married. And so many times people just didn’t believe me, that I was single all time. And what I noticed. People obsessed with romantic relationships, they write songs, they making romcoms, every were is telling you that finding your true love it’s a goal. Nobody tells you about that relationship doesn’t solve your problems, it won’t make you happy, it can makes you more unhappy that you was before. True love it’s when you want to make this human happy. Even this human is not with you. So the most important thing it’s be in love with myself, because human comes, human goes
This video came in the right moment when i needed it, like i was thinking about love and relationships because in these days i always receive a lot of stimulation from social media or publicity since is valentine’s day, and i have never been in a relationship in my 18 years of life, so i feel a bit lonely and awkward, ‘cause i see that my friends have been in situationships or relationships and me not, i have never felt in love, and sometimes i feel with low selfesteem because i think no one likes me, but than i realize that i dont need to fall in love, so this video motivates me to love myself and stay like that until the right one come, enjoy the moments with me or with my friends, enjoy life and dont think that much about lovers. Thanks zoe ✨❤️
22 and never had a boyfriend either. I’m so so grateful to you for making this video.
I’m living for so many clips of you doing stuff spliced into your video essays !
I will rewatch this everytime I feel people threaten my single jingle
I'm 26 and never had a relationship either. Do I feel like something is missing sometimes? Yes. But I'm not sure if it's because I'd like to be in a relationship or because I just feel a loser because I'm not in one. But honestly, most of the time, I just rather be alone than just date to date and end up losing my time just to be with someone that I'm not into.
Me too, girl. Ppl thought I was a freak for not dating anyone. I never touch a man, other than my family. I have too much to do and I don't have time for a heartbreak. I want someone but I don't want to risk my happiness to search for him.
I'm turning 20 this year and while I often chastise myself that there's no rush, that I should figure some things out first, that I have my whole life before, it still... hurts. It hurts so badly that I have no man to hug for hours or hold hands with. I try so hard to not think about it, but it still makes me cry a bit. I'm a huge romantic soul and I love the feeling of love, so never getting to experience it back is... So hurtful at the hardest moments.
Your videos are my therapy. I sometimes feel so bad abt my self but then there’s your channel.Thank you so much Zoe ❤️
Media has made us think that we need a romantic partner to be full filled, thing that has made a lot of harm. So sometimes I feel pretty bad for not being in a relationship (even when I've rejected every single being that has asked me out) and a few hours later I feel completely fine about being single.
So yeah, kinda love/hate being single, but If I hadn't that idea of "you need a partner to be taken seriously in this world (or at least you must have had one)" so deep in my brain, I think that I would be pretty happy and satisfied with that part of my life, because honestly, if I don't think about it, I'm really happy about my actual state.
I had never a bf until 21, and seeing others in my age in relationships I knew they would regret later made me feel good about not having a bf. I felt a lot just "took what they could get" to have the status "in a relationship", and I never wanted that.
When I was 21, I got in a relationship with my bf and I am so happy looking back that I didn't even try to get a bf before that bc it would only have been wasted time for something I didn't really feel.
I love that this was posted a few days before Valentine’s Day ;,) Thank you❤
Honestly you go girl 💕 as you should, take your time and only do what's right for you. Such a good role model ✨️ We need more people speaking out about this
You are SUCH A QUEEN!! this is the sort of stuff I used to tell my friends in high school and so on about. Just because others have relationships doesn’t mean you have to chase after one yourself, I remember been content and happy when I used to be single and things like valentines never upset me, because we would use days like that just to have a special day out with our friends or families and it was wonderful. It has been a while since I was last single. Currently still in a happy nearly 14 year relationship with my partner who I met when 15 years old. And I do love it, but it doesn’t change that I still believe that it is better in many ways to be single and make the most of your life, be happy and free, than just to settle with just anyone, as temporary happiness is NOT worth the heartbreak and the mental and physical toll it does to one self just to be in a relationship x
I'm feeling very depressed and lonely for 3 years now. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I will never find a special puzzle piece in my life to spend time with and I really don't know what it means to find it. I hate big and upper ranks CZcamsrs and artist online. Look at me, I'm just a lower rank. I'm no upper rank. Sometimes I really wish to be erased from reality and the universe. Maybe that would make them happy so they can be satisfied. I'm thinking about doing it now. I have no one. Those upper ranks do but not me. I still have friends and family, but there is one special thing that i really need in my life and I really don't know what it is right now.😞
i truly needed this!! well, i've been dealing with this feeling for a while since all my friends are dating, but as i talk to my therapist things seem to make sense and i've been enjoying my time on my own, being less embarressed about the things that i like. i wouldn't mind being in a relationship, don't get me wrong, but it's not something i would prioritize over discover myself. if i meet someone, fine, we'll see how it goes.. if i don't, it's fine because i can always learn more about myself to the point that it's an interesting journey. i don't always think that way, but i'm working on being kind to myself the way i am to the people i care about!
i'm 17, and sometimes i feel the pressure to start dating people, cause i've never even did hold hand's with someone, but just as you say, i dont wanna be in a realationship to seek validation, i'm happy to be wating for someone who will love me, and i will love them back, this video helped me realize this, thank u
I'm feeling very depressed and lonely for 3 years now. I hate feeling like this. I hate it. I will never find a special puzzle piece in my life to spend time with and I really don't know what it means to find it. I hate big and upper ranks CZcamsrs and artist online. Look at me, I'm just a lower rank. I'm no upper rank. Sometimes I really wish to be erased from reality and the universe. Maybe that would make them happy so they can be satisfied. I'm thinking about doing it now. I have no one. Those upper ranks do but not me. I still have friends and family, but there is one special thing that i really need in my life and I really don't know what it is right now. I want to be erased from reality and the universe now. I want to stab myself in the heart. Im a huge failure.😞
The best dating tip I've heard is not to take things too seriously. Nobody on earth can fulfill all your ideals and expectations. Better go by intuition - do you feel good about yourself when you are with him, or does he make you feel insecure? If so, forget him. But if you feel good, you only need to know if you can have fun together for 1 more hour. Then see if it could be one more hour. That's it!
I can see everybody in the comments being very supportive of the message, and I agree that it’s important to be independent and to have standard but you also need to remember that relationships are built over time and that people are imperfect (and dating apps can make you forget that). I don’t love to see influencers on social media preaching for “don’t set for the bare minimum”. People use different ways to communicate and have different love languages and sometimes you just need to give it time to understand each other’s. And not everything is a red flag. The one thing that scares me is that convincing yourself of not wanting a boyfriend could close you off from building meaningful connections (self fulfilling prophecy sort of things). I’ve been single for a year and I don’t miss having a partner since my life is already filled with beautiful things, but if anyone had to come into my life I would want to follow my gut rather than my head
You are so strong for not being in a relationship where you know your partner is not the best for you. Like I know a lot of people stay in bad relationships just to avoid being alone. So I think you are really strong! I hope something works out for you in your life!
my fav series you've created
24, approaching 25 and never been in a relationship. Actually I've never even been on a date...
But I never get grilled on this by friends because I always follow up telling them this with telling them I also don't know how to ride a bike. And something about the bike bit makes them immediately forget about the being single part.
I have a colleague older than me with children and she said the other day she can't ride a bike, which threw the whole office into conversation about it.
Certainly an odd thing to focus on, but it does catch the attention!
@@brachiosnores7829 I think the thing that makes it weirder for me is that I know how to ride a horse, and have riden a camel... But I can't ride a bike.
@@erinhand6004 They should probably teach you to ride a bike if it surprises them that much in my opinion.
I'm going to start using this one when they ask me, thanks for the idea👌🏻
I'm 28 and what has helped is that my siblings and most of my friends are also single and don't seem bothered by it so as a guy I've never felt the pressure directly, whenever I feel bad about my status I always remember to feel grateful I've never been cheated on or been in an abusive relationship and whenever it's brought up I tell people that I want to be a in a relationship eventually but it's not a priority right now.
Almost 24 and sammmee but I love it. It lowkey feels like a flex, if I ever do get into a relationship, he knows hes a top tier man to be my first bf at this point. If I never get into a relationship I’ll continue to live and die alone well respected, well loved and having lived my best life 🤭
I feel so seen! Currently 25 and still single, never been in a relationship. I didn't even have a problem with being single until my little sister (4 years younger than me) got engaged two years ago. Then I felt pressure from everyone in my life. Everyone looked at me with pity, because I'm older... and I got caught up in the pressure. I tried dating twice. The first guy was a narcissist who just wanted a submissive wife (and I noped out of that quick). The second guy ghosted me. I felt like a failure, or like something was wrong with me. But after doing some soul searching, I think I just wanted to be in a relationship so I could finally satisfy everyone's expectations of me. Your video is a great reminder that I'm happy single. I love my friends, my family, my job. I have a great life. And until the right guy comes along, I'll keep enjoying my single life, and stop letting people's expectations ruin that happiness.
This is much appreciated!! Never had a boyfriend at 25 and it actually doesn't bother me. I have things like work and school to focus on, and I enjoy discovering new things about myself now that I have some freedom. Occasionally I run into someone who tries to set me up with guys thinking I need to have a boyfriend. Not opposed to having a boyfriend but when every time someone wants to set me up it's because they think I can fix said guy and it's quite annoying. Knowing that it's totally okay to be single and normalizing it is a breath of fresh air :)
From watching this video, the impression is that you're not ready for a relationship yet. That's not a bad thing, everyone is in a different stage in life.
You said that you get most joy focusing on yourself and doing things for yourself. That's amazing and I think it's great to be at a point where you are focusing on your own growth.
A relationship is being with a whole other person that also has needs, preferences and flaws. They are just as complex as you, and need as much from you as you do from them. When you are in a long term relationship, you have to consider the other person and cannot be solely doing things for yourself all the time (the way you can when single).
I think you taking the time you need to focus on yourself is definitely the right decision, and you shouldn't feel pressured to follow anyone else's timeline. Whether you stay single or pursue a relationship, the most important thing isn't the specific decisions...but that this decision is intentional and authentic to you.
Thank you god sharing. I’m 23 and I’ve never had a bf or been on a date with anyone. There’s a lot of things I’ve never done and I really don’t know what to think about it, but it really helps to know I’m not alone ♥︎
This is the video I needed, Zoe. Your thoughts completely match mines and my feelings! I also am an introvert, that makes things even harder. But I won't erase myself to look normal in front of other people. ♥
I'm absolutely in love with this series 💖
You are really my favorite youtuber❤ i watch all your videos in the first few hours you release and it really is exciting to see the next week just because I know I’ll get to see your videos. Even with this excitement, I’m happy to say that i don’t have an unhealthy attachment and obsession over your videos!! It’s like who you are as a youtuber (mature, wise, healthy) really defines your followers as well. Keep it up zoe!!
being on the other end of the spectrum and leaving a 10 year relationship, this renewed my excitement over finally being single again. Thank you!❤
this video made me admire zoe so much more than i already do
this video made me feel like i'm not alone. thank you zoe :')
Thank you for talking about this. I’m 27 and I’ve dated many people in situationships but I’ve never been in a serious one. People think I’m being picky but I’m really not 💀 not a single person I’ve been with has wanted to take the final step and commit. The pressure to be with someone is so intense that I felt something was wrong with me and had to seek therapy to repair my mental health. Dating apps are partly to blame too , people are afraid to commit nowadays because we feel like there are more options. Anyway, you’re not alone! We have to stay strong 😂
As a single 20 year old girl since birth I felt that❤️. Loved the video.
So many truths were spoken in this video! The majority of my friends are in relationships or are already married and with kids and they are looking at me like I need a fixing because I’m single. But also majority of these relationships are not to be envied. There are only few (no more than 5) pairs that I see as a nice healthy couples. The fact that I can do whatever I want whenever I want is so liberating. And also to be in a relationship only to have relationship is supertoxic. I rather be single than with somebody I’m not compatible with
Zoe yes finally someone who can explain to world why we are still single and why it’s a struggle to fit into this new generation of feeling pressured and etc.
It's okay Zoe I didn't have a boyfriend until I was nearly 30 🤣🤣 you are still young and beautiful. It's better to take your time and the right person will come 🤗❤️ it's okay to be single, it really is ! Better to be happy alone then miserable with someone else ❤️🥺
I dont have problem with being single until people start to judge you like you’re such a weirdo thing it hurts my confidence
Honestly I never started seriously dating until 22 when I had my first official boyfriend, it’s best to do it when you’re ready and want to. I’ve found that’s what worked for me
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and wisdom on this topic Zoe!! Love it!!
I’m turning 29 and never had a boyfriend. If I was honest, society has made me hate being single. But watching this video has made me feel that being single is not so bad as it seems
Thank you for sharing your story on this!!! I’m 24 and I was never in a relationships and my family sometimes act concerning so it’s pretty interesting to see others having same experience
I'm 25 and I have dated and talked to lots of guys but as you said no guy has ever made it to the boyfriend stage. And I think the community and media put a lot of pressure on people to be in a relationship while being single is wayyyyyy better than being with someone who is not the right person for you
great video! 🌠and there's literally no shame in being single no matter what age you are! 😇
i had my first relationship at 29 :)
there's only one thing i disagree with and that is with your statement "if you can't be happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship" = to an extent true, a relationship won't solve any unresolved issues related to childhood trauma, self-esteem and/or mental health for example. it's unfair to expect your partner to be your therapist, social worker, coach and parent at the same time all the time, that's not the point of staying in a relationship.
however, if you are not happy with where you're at in your life, be it becaue of your job/career, mental health struggles, cultural expectations, traditional gender roles or you just feel lonely - which is a universal human experience everyone goes through, no matter whether single or taken - you are still allowed to want a meaningful relationship and date. even if you have whatever issues, having a partner by your side might even help you to get better because things are always a bit easier if you know someone has your back. ideally, because they love and care about you, they want to help but just know that they won't/can't solve your problems entirely.
also no one is happy all the time, no matter if they are single or taken - partners fight, disagree and sometimes yell at each other because love always triggers. in a healthy relationship, they also make up, work on their communication skills, set boundaries and compromise.
you can, ofc, grow and eventually thrive by having a strong network of loving friends, colleagues & family, maybe even with professional help. however, being in a relationship can also offer you crucial information about yourself you wouldn't usually have access to as committing to a partner long-term means facing parts of yourself you wouldn't encounter with everyone else.