The curse of being the "average looking female"
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- čas přidán 6. 06. 2024
- Spoiler alert- you’ve been exploited with a false sense of average. Here are 5 reasons why you should forget about “average pretty”
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//🕙Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:28 Definition of average
4:11 Why you should forget about “average pretty”
4:14 1. Artificial natural beauty
5:57 2. Why put yourself at a disadvantage?
8:19 3. homogeneity of beauty sells
10:38 4. feauturism
12:24 5. No one is the average
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Do you believe in the "average"?
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Yes, I believe in the average. I match 6 out of 9 traits that make someone average in your country. The problem is I live in Russia where average woman's height is wooping 6 cm taller than America and 11 kilos slimer. Oh well at list I'm average in America.
The most ironic part about female beauty is how irrelevant it is. Men will sleep with anyone and falling in love is mostly a function of chemistry and personality. The only real advantage is the halo effect / "pretty privilege" bestowed by society.
No. I believe in everyone is beautiful in their own way.
Reality check: "average looking" is a slur on the internet but in real life there is nothing you can't do. Men who call women "mid" on the internet can't get a girlfriend in real life.
All this "mid"-shaming is not even abt beauty! Men use this to power play over women. Dudes saying Margot Robbie is mid would be proof enought that this has NOTHING to do with the real beauty of one person.
most of those dudes are beyond mid themselves 😂😂
@@sarahnovella4971REAL like how they are delusional enough to call Margot Robbie MID looking like THEY DO💀 projection at its finest
Exactly. I don't know a man who can maintain a healthy relationship that actually has this in their vocab.
omg i heard that the other day. A bunch of men were like "Margot is at most a 6" and all the women in the comments were like "she is literally Barbie" LMAO @@pppf_S
Ladies!!! Word of advice: never trust a man’s opinion of your appearance. These are the same dudes who were calling MARGOT ROBBIE mid for crying out loud.
In 2014, if a guy called Margot Robbie mid, other guys would say "What, are you nuts? She's a total dime piece!" Because in 2014, she was just the hot girl from Wolf of Wall Street. But then she started expressing her own ideas, and to some men, there's nothing that gives them the ick more than a woman having a a personality.
Men don't know anything about pretiness and they can't even tell when ur wearing makup and when u r not +they expwct too much bc of social media so they will get chocked when they see how a real women actually look like . And we can't blame them social media have pretty enough effected everyone .it made us forget how a real human can look like and made us feel insecure for being human and not an AI
Bit of an overstated. The average guy doesn't think that way, that's also overblown by media and online degeneracy.
Men think with their penises, don't trust them lol
The other day I saw a graph for men in like this community of men rating each other from 1-10 and they put Henry Cavill in 6-7.
Several years ago, in my own head,I redefined beauty to be synonymous with “unique.” That has led me to value my traits and features are different from the “normal” and I seek to enhance the parts of me that are different and stand out anyways. It’s really helped me not spiral in the wake of this homogenized beauty that Zoe talks about.
Love this!
WHO ASKED + I MAKE WAY MORE BETTER CONTENT + UTTP IS WAY MORE THEN ZOE LOL
I sincerely wish I could reset my brain to do this. That's amazing girl 👏 😍
@@ville__um, I looked, and I didn't find any content at all on your page. Am I missing something?
If you don't mind, I'll try taking this strategy and putting it into my own playbook :) always looking for ways to build that self compassion, and this is a fantastic take on it. Thanks for sharing!
my two rules that i follow when i start to feel overwhelmed and insecure: i go outside to a grocery store or somewhere with people and look at them (in passing, not in a creepy way) and stop engaging with content about beauty. genuinely getting off social media and reading a book or just turning off your phone has genuinely boosted me on some not-so great self-esteem days
Exactly. I deleted most of my social media accounts and it has been incredible for my self esteeem.
social media is clearly poisoning us all
Thank u ,i think once someone actually goes out Into the real world and stopped comparing themselves with people on their screen its so comforting seeing all the different shapes,colors,features people have
Even in books characters are always extraordinarily beautiful
@@frenchgirl5878um read slice of life or non-fiction books not those trashy romance books with unrealistic beauty standards and toxicity💀
The surgery everyone is getting is actually making them look worse and a lot less unique. I actually am so used to looking at that typical Instagram face that it isn’t even that special anymore. To me, someone really sticks out when they embrace the beautiful features they already have. Especially the nose jobs…so toxic and totally riddled in Eurocentric beauty standards
thank you for talking me out of plastic surgery
WHO ASKED + I MAKE WAY MORE BETTER CONTENT + UTTP IS WAY MORE THEN ZOE LOL
And not even just "Eurocentric," but sort of fascist-ideal Nordic beauty. That's not the beauty of a Rossy de Palma or Camille Cottin or, from an earlier time, the sublime Irene Pappas or Sophia Loren. It just seems like whatever the culture machinery in its profit-optimized form smashes in your face as an ideal, a whole generation opens wide and swallows whole.
@@MewluMoon it's a bot, don't bother.
I believe that the older you get, the more you start to accept yourself for who you are. I was really insecure at 13, but now at 25 I love myself and my looks. I have lived with this body and face for 25 years, and I would never want to wake up looking different. I am happy I am me because there is only one me, and I wouldn't want to change that
I used to hate my nose. That is, until I watched my grandmother as she lay dying and noticed she had the same nose, and now i look in the mirror and say hi grandma :) there you are.
@@MsBabyChipsomg!!! I hated the profile of my nose all my life, always thinking to myself that it’s the only thing keeping me from looking like a perfect Barbie doll..then my dad passed away and I had the same exact thought! My nose is the exact copy of his nose, so are my eyes and cheekbones and I miss him so much that now when I look in the mirror I smile and think he’s still here in the form of legacy of his children ❤
I am 31 now and I am MORE insecure NOW than what I was at 13.
@@MsBabyChipsthat’s beautiful 🥲
Tbf your body changes a lot between the ages of 13 and 25, by 25 you've finally finished puberty and grown to maturity, and basically "settled" into your adult body. Puberty is a very insecure time because the constant changes mean your own body can feel alien to you.
I'll be honest: it feels like a legitimate accomplishment when I have a day that I don't hate my own face, or when I think I'm pretty enough or thin enough or look good enough. It feels like a constant uphill battle to even ignore all of the crap on social media and in mainstream media, let alone find someway to counter it in my head. If I have a day that I think I look good, I'm f'n proud of myself at this point lol I feel like most of us don't want to achieve perfection, anyway. We just want to not hate ourselves and stop having literally random people feel comfortable telling you what they think is wrong with you.
WHO ASKED + I MAKE WAY MORE BETTER CONTENT + UTTP IS WAY MORE THEN ZOE LOL
Looking good is not an accomplishment. Beauty is overrated. Invest in having a skill, not looks. You will never suffer from a low self esteem if you learn to do something well instead of gazing in a mirror. Examining your reflection will only make you loose time and have you miss out on actual life experiences. Help others feel appreciated and noticed and you will receive back the love and attention you crave for.
It’s not an accomplishment to not hate yourself. It’s a path towards a goal. Self hatred is not different from self obsession. It’s just a negative self obsession.
You either choose to live in this mindset or change it.
@PettyBlue1 @alexandraaikonaika I think both of you took this comment in a very different direction than what I meant it to be. It was literally meant as a teasing or joking comment on the fact that we as a society of people are bombarded with so many different versions of what is "good" or "bad" or "ugly" or "beautiful" or whatever words you'd like to use that finding a healthy outlook on oneself can be difficult at times. I'm sorry either of you felt like it was a comment about vanity or promoting self hatred. It took me a long time to be happy with myself, and it's something I put time into because you have to treat yourself with the same compassion you give to others if you expect to be happy living inside your own head. Admitting that is not somehow bad, though. Everyone goes through growth and mental development. Acknowledging that as a struggle isn't somehow a problem, and it doesn't mean that I don't have skills, don't invest most of my time into others and into my relationships, and don't enjoy life. Frankly, neither of you know me, and both of you drew massive assumptions from something that clearly was not meant to be taken so seriously. I don't love to comment on people's comments because I feel like it furthers ridiculous arguments/disagreements on the internet that, frankly, are pointless, so I won't respond any further than this, but I'm sorry if either of you were offended or upset by something that I meant as humor.
Lol alright female
Just recently I started living by “No one’s ever lived with my EXACT face “ I’m my own “average” and that’s ok, now I enhance and embrace the bold features I have and I’m ok with that
Love this
well there are always doppelgangers 🤷♀
I was having a good day, until I was walking alone and I was holding a water bottle called a Stanley cup, and these two boys were walking past me and one looked at me and whispered to his friend, “I thought only pretty girls are supposed to have those cups” 😭 it ruined my self esteem so bad, like I always feel unattractive and it just made it worse. I don’t know how other people perceive me but I hate it because no one ever compliments me, people are always mean to me (especially girls and I am one) and staring at me and I hate it because it’s hard to see other people being gorgeous and I’m not
Don't listen to the mean and unasked for comments. You're more beautiful than anyone who puts you down. ❤
Guys will literally do anything to make girls feel inferior. There were guys calling Margot Robbie mid looking lmao. Guys who do this aren’t worth your time and what they think of you is irrelevant because they’re irrelevant.
Gorgeous girls get a lot of hate esoecially from women too. As a woman you literally can never win no matter what you do.
this just in: "only pretty girls have access to Certain Cups" LMAO but anyways - im so sorry you had to hear that and that they'd have the audacity to say something like that. it is such a stupid ass thing for them to think. it's a damn cup. their minds are so rotted smh. ily and i hope you'll know your worth soon - i believe in you and im rooting for you.
You're gorgeous ❤.
I remember thinking about beauty a few years ago, and how everyone looked better than me. I went outside - beautiful people, I got on the internet - beautiful people. The realization hit me: if I find strangers beautiful, don't they find me beautiful as well? It's not like I'm anyone special from their perspective.
I am TELLING you, this thought changed my life. I'll be looking at someone on the subway and go "damn, they are pretty, I wish I was as well" but then lo and behold "I am pretty as well! I'm also a stranger from their perspective, and strangers are beautiful! So I am beautiful as well!" Really helped me accept myself at the time
I struggle with this a lot since moving to LA. The idea that I just am average. Not beautiful. Thank you for your video it was enlightening.
You should move to Belgium/Germany. Everyone wants the blend in/be average there. (not everyone, but most people)
@@irissupercoolsy Interesting. I don't think I will, but that's a cool insight.
WHO ASKED + I MAKE WAY MORE BETTER CONTENT + UTTP IS WAY MORE THEN ZOE LOL
I don't think that being average and being beautiful are opposites. I think (personally) that we've just gotten used to having to be at some extreme end of "different" to have acknowledgement, but just because there's acknowledgement doesn't actually mean it's any better than the "norm". With as many faces as we see every single day, I think it's hard to remember, but most of us don't look at the strangers in the crowd and think "what a normal looking person; they're ugly". We rarely give it any conscious thought at all, or if we do, we tend to think "wow that person has gorgeous hair" or something. What we forget to appreciate about ourselves we tend to acknowledge and praise in those around us, because most of us are just bad at turning compassion inward as often as we direct it outward. I know I can't see you physically, but you and all you are are exactly what you should be. And thankfully, if there's parts you don't like, you can change whatever you want about yourself, because the only person's opinion that ultimately matters about those things is your own. Hopefully you can find some space mentally to appreciate yourself more
how so?@@irissupercoolsy
I actually really miss the “realness” part about early social media and internet in general. Early instagram was peak social media imo if you cut the celebrity and later rising influencer part out. But thinking back about how every “casual” used it, it was a fun way to share where you are , what you’re up to and just sharing pictures for people who were interested but it sadly spiraled down into having the most interesting, beautiful, above average and unique feed ever.
I miss sharing stuff without it having to seem “perfect” and “flawless”, without fearing to fail my own style
*Eat healthy, drink water, excercise, meditate,dress nealty boom you are better than the half of the population*
Ikr ❤
I've been off of social media for quite a while (since april i think?) and honestly when I saw all the girls in your video I kinda started to get insecure again. The feelings of not looking like the "pretty girls" on ig and tiktok made me feel so little. But your commentary had really held me through it. I've always felt the need as well to be the best at everything because of my parents expectations, but it used to feel like I could never achieve beauty, and insecurity used to be a really big part of me growing up.
Today I know that I am worth more than what societal pressure wants me to think. I'm blessed and happy with what God and my parents gave me and I wouldn't want take that away by meaningless procedures that fade out due to oncoming trends. Thank you soooo much for making this video. It made me tear up and means a lot to me
You are beautiful ❤️❤️
My mindset since I was a kid has always been that there's no pretty and no ugly, because it's so subjective that it's not real. It's honestly helped my perception of people and my confidence so much, because then I don't look at people and notice their so called prettiness or ugliness, I just notice them and their unique features. And in that way, no one is pretty and no one is ugly and no one is average, everyone is just uniquely themselves. And I think that difference is what actually makes humans beautiful.
It's so admirable that you have maintained that viewpoint for so long. I wish I could have too. It pushed me into an ED. It sucks.
@@palliscool4427 I’m so sorry you have to go through that, I can’t imagine how hard that must be… it can take a bit of effort to maintain my viewpoint but ultimately it’s worth it. I hope you’re able to develop a healthier self image and recover soon :) I believe in you
@@BreadLover257 thank you
This is just an addition to the loads of proof that in lots of ways, children are more mature/wise than many fully-grown adults. You are mature to holding on to those views. I wish I did.
Woman take
I think once everyone accepts they’re most likely going to be 4-6/10 and make peace with that, being average is not such a bad thing. I don’t depend on being pretty nor make money doing it. Majority of people don’t. So, don’t stress over being average, rather try to be your healthiest self mentally and physically. The only thing within our control
YES! PREACH AMEN SISTER
Love this!
I accepted being a 6. That's still slightly above the average 😂 Still average tho
This video made me feel heard and loved. So far, I’ve never heard this matter of « average » mentality talked about and my thoughts articulated so clearly. To each doubts I had, you kindly debunked the silliness of those thoughts with kindness, sources and logic. Thank you so much Zoé, I will now live a bit more freely knowing that average is nothing more than a number and us, far from just that. ❤
as someone who used to be obsessed with this whole average thing (not just talking about looks) and who used to hate herself for being average in everthing but eventually came to accept and love herself... well, this video was really refreshing and something i needed to hear, even tho i feel way more confident about myself than i used to. sometimes it's just good to be reminded of this :)
But why did you ask people to rate themselves? That 0/1-10 scale is awful and sexist. No one should be valued on their looks, not even on a "everyone is beautiful"-level because let's face it, not everyone is beautiful in your opinion and that's okay, just try to see past this and hang out with people regardless of how they look.
And most of all, hang out with yourself. I don't look in the mirror too often but when I do, I like what I see. Not because I'm so beauty but because I'm more used to my face than to everyone else's, and that's how it should be. Otherwise, you'll get used to other people's faces and be alienated by your own, which is why most of the people having plastic surgery do it.
Self confidence for the win! 👏
I think this topic is interesting. Something I’ve noticed with my perception of people is as I’ve become more ‘insecure’ with how ugly/pretty I look, that’s also changed how I look at other people, ‘defining’ their prettier and less so features, but before, I never really used to see this in people, and really couldn’t differentiate how pretty one of my friends were compared to a supermodel. As I’ve become more secure with my self image, I’ve started to notice everyone’s individual features which make them beautiful, whether it be her hair, his eyes, anything really, and I’ve stopped noticing their ‘lesser’ features or just see the beauty in those as well.
You missed what is actually confusing everyone. People have come to believe that average means having face with healthy, well taken care of features, that is proportional. This is what is driving the crazy. Most people in fact do not have balanced and proportional features. That is not the average or even the mode or mean. And anyone who thinks that is true should look up old Hollywood starlets. They had exquisitely fine tuned and balanced faces and bodies, which is why they were considered ideals. The typical person on the street would need tweakments to get their face balanced and if that is now standard then plastic surgery is now standard. Now if everyone has had tweakments to get balanced features can anyone not be mid? They have to have no imperfections, but what else? From that point it usually is just a taste issue because everyone is mid. Is your ideal of beauty upper crust english, bollywood, kpop and so on.
I get what you're saying, but I don't think that balanced, well proportioned features are that rare, at all. I think that's a baseline of physical attractiveness that most people can meet. The real issue here, is that in this day and age, it takes much more than that to be considered attractive or above average in looks. It comes down to whether or not you possess specific features that are considered synonymous with "beauty" as defined in 2023, with these standards being heavily influenced by a heavily filtered and augmented social media representation that doesn't actually exist in real life. And it makes your average person with balanced, well proportioned features feel like they can't possibly fit the standard of beauty pushed today as they probably don't possess the features synonymous with that standard. Hence why these people and others around them would consider themselves to be below average in comparison.
@@STARSAPPHIRE91 Except it really isn’t the baseline. If you look at groups photos of people that are unaltered from events, work, school, hobbies such maybe dance…. And then take the time to analyze features you realize the proportion of the population that has even features more clearly. And it isn’t shockingly rare but it definitively is not the average either.
Also, aesthetics are an issue I agree because it truly comes down to personal taste. Greek statues of great beauty tend to have very different faces than our current celebrities for a reason.
@@LotusesGalaxyOcean I say baseline, in that it's the very base of what constitutes physical attractiveness. There are numerous other factors that go into how people today perceive beauty based upon certain beauty standards that are more cultural and societal than anything else, and I'd argue plays a far bigger role in how people perceive attractiveness outside of baseline facial harmony and proportion.
I still maintain that most people have well balanced features, and that it's more average than it is rare. At the most, your average person might have one feature at the most which may slightly fall outside of the harmonious range, but nothing that puts people in the unattractive range objectively. Most people don't have noticeably asymmetrical faces, or strong bone structure deformities that would severely affect one's facial proportion. At the most, all your average person needs is clear skin and perhaps some dental work to be within the category of baseline attractiveness as far as facial proportion and balance is concerned.
But as I said, these days that isn't enough to be considered attractive. Very specific features are needed and a very specific "look" is what's pushed as attractive, and quite often times at the detriment of one's facial harmony and balance. Not everyone looks good with a Barbie ski slope nose, huge injected Bratz doll lips, super defined cheekbones or a prominent jawline. Yet, these are the features most young women who are addicted to social media believe they need in order to be physically attractive. THIS is what's driving everyone crazy.
And women who have these features are highly regarded as beautiful whether they actually have that balanced facial proportion you maintain isn't very common, which is why everyone wants them irrespective of whether or not they'll even work on their faces. To not have these facial features to some, is to be "basic", no matter how much natural facial harmony you may have.
@@STARSAPPHIRE91 I think I see our misunderstanding. I am not discussing the human bratz dolls of instagram. In reality that is a whole different social phenomena to me akin to peacocking excess like wearing purple in medieval times. That is not about “beauty” but consumption and our bodies/faces have become another tool to do that and showcase it. I do not consider looks that are only humanly possibly usually through surgical intervention [as in biologically genetically absurdly improbable] as realistic or very appealing in terms of beauty. I view that issue as a completely separate thing. I won’t even get into how instagram face is essentially botox, filler, nose job face.
I am discussing those who are considered beautiful today that have not been sucked into the weird distortion field. And the point I am actually making is that beauty usually is the finely tuned of holistic flow of features that are balanced into exquisite precision. You don’t see it now as much but if you look at old hollywood and greek/roman statues it suddenly is very obvious. Everything is in the details and what separates pretty and beautiful is located there. As you said most people have some element of their features out of balance, [not asymmetry-bit different] which was precisely my point. That kicks people out of the category I was discussing. How many people do you know that meet this checklist truly and have balanced: upper/middle/lower thirds of their face, spacing of the eyes, with correctly sized eyes/nose/mouth, good bone structure and their features are suitably sized to their face? And even if they meet that checklist how precise is it?? That is what I am trying to touch on with the concept of balance.
I suppose the bratz dolls really confuse the issue don’t they.
@@LotusesGalaxyOcean But again, those old Hollywood standards, and even ancient Greco-Roman standards of beauty are just that, standards and not an objective barometer for anything, really. No different than the Bratz doll standards of today. When you say "old Hollywood", what time period are you referring to? The silent movie era? Because those standards as far as what features were considered attractive (round face, small, rosebud lips, large round eyes), and therefore proportions were very different from the standards came a few decades later, and even more so during the golden age of Hollywood. As the decades passed on, the standards for what was considered attractive facially became more and more masculine.
And as far as old Roman statues are concerned, they're definitely prized for their beauty related to artistic ingenuity, but as far as beauty standards go, those faces are far too masculine, and definitely outside of our current standards of feminine beauty. Especially those noses, which lets be honest here, are the kinds of noses women get rhinoplasty to alter, not in relation to the IG aesthetic but in general. I'm quite sure if you measured the faces of people within the old Hollywood era, you'd find a similar amount of baseline facial harmony and a few features that are slightly out of that harmony, no different than the average population. Makeup can certainly alter the general flow of your facial features, which was heavily relied upon.
For instance, Marilyn Monroe had a bluntness to her face that was well hidden by makeup techniques and certain angles, and if you know about Marilyn you know she was downright maniacal about knowing her angles, even down to the facial expressions she would make (she would hold her mouth in a certain way, to hide her short philtrum area). Many old Hollywood stars were quite beautiful, but I'm sorry, I just don't believe that they were somehow more beautiful than the general, average public in terms of baseline facial harmony and bone structure. Especially when you consider just how many of them, past and present got those same "tweakments" you say the general public would need to be on their level, in accordance to whatever the standards were for individual facial features at the time.
As far as equal facial thirds, features that are in proportion to one another, and "good" bone structure (meaning high cheekbones, forward maxillary growth and whatnot), I have all of these features, and I consider myself average looking. There are plenty of celebrities who have these features as well, that I also consider average looking. Attractive, but faces you can see around within the general public fairly easily. Because again, I do not believe that things like equal facial thirds and overall facial harmony are rare, but easily found within the general public. It's just that if often takes more than that to be considered beautiful these days.
What creates a sense of confusion and therefore insecurity within people as far as looks are concerned are certain standards that fall outside of baseline facial harmony, that change according to the cultural times, that people feel the need to live up to. And I think people in general hold celebrities up on a pedestal and internalize ideas surrounding how superhuman they are with regards to everything people think sets them apart from the public, which stops people from seeing how ordinary they actually are. These people weren't selectively bred or birthed out of a pod, they came from often the same set of circumstances and were beholden to the same set of genetic averages everyone else was. And this makes it all the more easy for the general public to fall victim to whatever the current standards for individual features happen to be when they see celebrities with them (that they brought via plastic surgery) and internalize that.
1:05 that glitch made my heart jump
Same, i looked trough the comments to see if anyone else saw it 😭
Thank you so much for putting everything I've been thinking for YEARS into words in this video! Genuinely, thank you❤️
Thank YOU for joining the discussion
I have another take on this, almost everyone is average, unless you are ugly or beautiful, which you will know for sure, then you are average. People thinking that average is bad are the ones in the wrong.
define ugly define beautiful in your words
Zoe, I love your videos. They are always very well structured and you add in so many visuals to drive your points that it is easy to get immersed in them. I can really see how hard you work and I admire that greatly! Keep it up
I loved the video but the 'you are better than average' at the end kinda killed it. I thought we will just discard the meaning of 'average' and conclude with that, which is something I can agree with - there's no 'average' we can simply compare ourselves to. So why bring up the concept of average again at the end, kind of reinforcing it?
Good feedback! Better in terms of no longer being defined and pinned down to the concept of average & growing with our own uniqueness
@@zoeunlimited Thanks for the reply Zoe! After commenting I also thought about how if we let go of the concept of average we will always be better than it, since the reference point is non-existent (which is what you just replied but in different words haha). Nevertheless, that ending sentence didn't take away from any of the points you made earlier on in the video but it just left me a little puzzled right after watching and pushed me to leave this comment 😊 It's a great bonus message now too
@@BllackstaarrI interpreted it as "you are better than being defined by the average" not, "you are prettier than the average." We transcend average, sort of like what you described!
zoe your video content is getting better with each video, the versatility & heaviness of each topic show your effort to spread awareness and people are receiving it. I am so glad that my mindset about various topics has developed from the past 1 year of following you. thank you so much for your efforts
My mom wouldn't understand why I suddenly do social media detox from out of nowhere and this is one of the reasons why. Social media has really messed up our brains to the point of people hating them ownselves just to fit it 😢 When I was younger I used to care (if I fit a certain beauty standard) but now ijdgaf thanks to my constant social media detox. I couldn't imagine those women younger than me who will grow hating their features bc of social media 😢
this is so beautiful. thank you Zoe 🩷
thank you so much for this zoe❤. being a teen growing up with the internet that has an obvious preference for Eurocentric features and attractive individuals can be really damaging for my self-confidence. i really needed this!
Well said! Can I just say- as a woman who doesn’t dye/highlight my hair currently and has my natural dark blonde color, I’ve realized how little I see that represented in society. Why do people with middle-shaded (yes I used mid here lol) feel the need to change that? I don’t and I wish others didn’t as much either.
oh my god this is so true! i've dyed my hair darker before and bleached it because i just feel like i look weird with the shade of hair i have (it's light brown, kind of caramel-ish) because while it must actually be quite common i rarely see people whom i think are conventionally attractive with it!
same here, I decided to go with my natural, dark blond hair and my mother asked me why do I dye my hair so dark, because it can't be my natural colour! xD ppl are delsional these days...
I wear summer colors that look good with it. Yeah, it gets called "dirty blonde" and the plain girl dyes medium brown hair in the movie as a makeover. I like it and it goes good with the colors I like and eff society.
Honestly anything that is real is beautiful
Same hair color here and I've also often said how pretty much everyone with a similar color dyes it. I started using Sun In in middle school and then got balayage highlights done a few times in high school/college, so people associated my "natural" hair color as being 1-2 shades lighter than the dark blonde it naturally turned to as an adult. So when I started growing it out and dyed the highlights to match my roots, my grandma told me I ruined my beautiful "natural" blonde hair and this color didn't suit me as much... When I told her this was in fact my natural hair color, she just hadn't seen it in a decade bc I always lightened it, she still argued with me that I was wrong 🥲
Love this woman
Big applause, I feel like everything you said in thsi video is very well worded. I personally find myself constantly under pressure to look a certain way, to stick to a certain style, stay under a certain weight. I only recently realized my quality of life was being affected by my obsession with not being "fat" or "ugly". Even my own mother compares me to my pretty friends in my pictures. It's hard, and I'm still not good at it but I'm trying my best to pull myself out of this hole I've dug for myself and let my skin breathe by taking 5 steps out of my 10 step skincare routine, making outfits that I want to try and not the ones that make me look the thinnest, I'm trying to get out of a mindset of trying to appeal to other people with my overall appearance and just live as me. I feel like a lot of people are struggling with this, and I know this video will definitely be eye-opening to many.
I've always considered myself "average" but never thought of that as an insult.
Thank you I started tearing up and eventually crying hard during your closing statement. I really needed to hear this more than you will ever know. You saved me. I really really needed to hear that. It will replay in my head whenever things get bad and i will be okay. Thank you.
The internet can give out the feeling that I’m living in a small village for some reason
When I was a kid I loved to play with my toys and make them married and have kids. Years later when I was cleaning my room I saw a toy of Peter Pan and his girlfriend- a teddy bear😂.At first I was confused why I decided to make them together like they look so different and the realisation hits me. When I was kid I didn't see people or toys different. I didn't judge them because of their look but growing up the society brainwashed me until that day when I saw Peter and the Teddy.Then I realised how when I was younger, I've never judged people because of their look but growing up people were always judging me and I didn't even notice when I became the same.
well the whole thing with peter pan is different, he done became a furry when u shipped him with the bear
I've stopped weighing myself and focusing on my own facial features and less on others. My mindset has improved so much and I feel more confident in my looks now that I set up "blinders" for myself
I really enjoy your videos. You're so smart, it's a real pleasure to listen to you. Plus you make me feel good (well...better) about myself. Thank you!
Your outfit is sooooooooo pretty
So happy to see this amazing channel growing so much !!!!
Love ur video
I have been told all my life that I am pretty, but I never believed it, because of years of racial motivated bullying in my hometown in Austria, where there is a very small Asian community, had shattered my self-confidence. Then I came into adulthood, slowly gained more confidence, and now I can actually believe that I am pretty. Especially, ever since I moved to Vienna and moved in with my partner. I can really be myself here in this city, because in Vienna, no one really cares. You can really have your peace. In Graz (where I grew up), as a Chinese, if you walk into specific districts, where majority of the people are either from Balkan or Arabic countries, you can be sure that you will get harassed. I have been called the worst things there, just because I am Asian, and I speak better German than them. In Vienna, where there are also these specific districts, you really don't get harassed, because they don't care. And this is really refreshing.
some arabic countries belong in asia too so i think what you mean isn't just being asian but east asian specifically. and the negative stereotypes that come with being one. especially after covid. europeans doing this honestly don't surprise me anymore but it's unfortunate & dissapointing that poc are doing this to fellow people of color.
@@sadakopilled You need to realize people of ALL races are racist. To act as if only Europeans are racist, is racist and ignorant in and of itself. The term "POC" is an English speaking term.
Most people in other countries don't have this weird racist "all fellow poc together against white people" thing. They don't care about this "poc."
Your content is such a guilty pleasure for me.
Why
Thank you for this Zoe. I need a dose of reality sometimes ❤🙌
When discouraged: REDIRECT your thoughts to the needs of others
and practice that curve on social media posts
Ur the best can’t wait to watch❤
the message of this video is just amazing !!! ❤
Beauty standards change constantly so why anyone wants to make permanent changes to their looks has always baffled me. These young women and girls will never know how they were meant to look.
Amazing video as always Zoe!!!
I read the book "The Uglies" when I was a teenager and wow there are some interesting similarities with people getting surgery to look the same as other people and "perfect." It is so sad that people can't do the work and put in the time to accept themselves as they are instead of getting surgery to look like everyone else.
Thank you for this wonderful video, it made me feel good, with optimism. Thanks 💕💕💕
the "average latina" being Adriana Lima legit made me laugh out loud.
i imagine they thought about using Gisele, but then were like "nah, too blonde, let's go with another supermodel that was one of the VS angels"
thank you for the water reminder
Ilysmmmm you boost my confidence love ya
Same lol
I don't know why but this girl is helping me getting out of my depression 😭😭
Speakin of kpop girl groups...Recent kpop female groups are defying the "nobody is perfect" theory...Wonyoung generation and up...they are going out of their way to find the most perfect girls and hire them to make teenagers of their age give up on bein a woman and think "suks for me I'm not a pretty girl"...and the problem is that it SELLS...it's one of the best marketing strategies...
as a 17 year old I am so glad i found your channel❤
what helps me to truly realise beauty is subjective is that when I find some person attractive and my best friends do not, with whom I share a very similar thinking and opinions it just makes the case stronger for beauty truly is subjective hence it cannot be measured/shouldn't be measure.
Love you. Love the message ❤ i needed this today.
I think people need to actually look at others in real rather, rather than heavily processed photos on Instagram or the media. When you feel absolutely flooded with them, just look at the people on the bus or the train. Bring yourself back to reality. Look at people in the office or in the uni lecture theatre. You aren’t going to see Instagram models everywhere. The problem is people have been manipulated since we were kids to only see what the media wants us to. Also, if you really want to know how attractive you are, think of all the feedback from people you have met IRL who aren’t your friends or related to you. Also how many attractive people have wanted to offer you commitment. Not sex, commitment. You could find an answer somewhere in there in you wanted to. If you don’t want to know, then carry on and live life to the fullest anyway.
Can we take a minute to mention how a guy can sometimes call you pretty if he likes you, but if you reject him, he calls you ugly 🙄
I love the conversations here!
Damn I didn't know I needed this video....
I only recently started self care, and I was bummed out at the results cause it seemed like I'm never doing enough
thank you for these videos i love them so much and you help a lot
If you make a habit to stop and observe, you can feel in your body if you're just inspired by a fun trend or if you feel like you need to work harder to measure up. I recommend honing in on that difference!
Zoe out here carrying the confidence of thousands of women 🥰 thank you for always having our backs 🫡
Today i felt really bad but now i feel like i am back to that confident that little me had she didn’t care about what is around me
And I’ve always thought i am me and i am with the most beautiful things in the world
I'm solidly mid and I'm just gonna have to accept this. It's freeing in a way, I can focus on crafting my self image to accurately reflect me, rather than trying to fit a "hot girl" mold. And in the end, I think this makes me more beautiful.
Reality is most people are "mid" most guys most women very few people are so attractive they stand out.
Be honest you're probably mid, accept it embrace it theres nothing wrong with being a normal looking man/woman.
touch grass
hi Zoe !!!
This video is what I needed, thank you Zoe, you made my day❤
i love you so much you are helping so much as teen i struggle so much with confidence
I just stumbled in this this video and I feel like I just give my two cents in this discussion.
I don't use social media. No tik tok, no facebook, no instagram. Don't follow beauty gurus, nor influencers, anything of the sort. I just casually enjoy some aesthetic trends on Pinterest and use them to long term plans. So, take my opinion as an observer of sorts. I just watched people going by their lifes in buses or trains or subways, parks, streets, malls... This just what I made up from it.
And I always believed in the "average" as in a general sense of "the majority" or "not standing out of the ordinary" (it's the word definition close to the letter), so, in my head, the "majority" is always at least "pretty". I don't go out much, but when I do, I rarely see someone unsightly ugly nor hideous. Everyone is absolutely "average" to me as in being pretty or regularly dressed. Sometimes I see someone that is unique - either above or below my metrics of uninteresting normal people and I find them quiet interesting to look at. Either they are dressed in a more stylish way or sometimes they have unsual characteristics. I've never deemed anyone in real life as someone truly "ugly" ONLY by their appearances.
On a closing note: I've seem ugly MEN (they are the ones who TEND to fall "below" my metrics) that are turned more ugly according to their behaviors, but I hardly find women too ugly. It's not hating on men, they just don't seem to care about themselves past a point in their life (some earlier, some later). So, in an older couple, the woman takes more care is more well dressed while her husband is in his pajamas, smelling like he doesn't even know what a shower is just as a VERY GENERALIZED example. So... I'm just talking about my own subject point of view of someone a little "out" of this social media fever.
You have no idea how badly I need to hear the things you say online! I wish I could befriend you in real life! I need your kind of energy in my life
Call me crazy but I’d love to be average
I needed this, thank you so much :-]
Hello! I'm the woman who made that first TikTok. Just to clarify: I made that video because it seemed like the girl I was stitching was implying that she was a "pretty girl" and was excusing discriminating against "ugly" girls.
amazing video ♥
This video is soooo important
i find it so mindboggling that people assume the average of beauty is an objective standard when it's really not. you might think youre average, and the next person might think youre the most gorgeous person theyve ever seen, and then the next person might consider you below average. everyone's tastes vary greatly, someone will *always* find you beautiful. the mainstream "look" is not an objective beauty standard, it's a "erase any uniqueness or natural beauty to appeal to the widest possible audience". if youre chasing after those kinds of standard, you should absolutely do a little bit of self reflection and figure out why it is you feel the need to look as pretty as possible to the most amount of people, when at the end of the day the opinions of strangers really dont mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of things.
When you look back on your life, do you want to be able to be happy with how youve lived your life, and the impact youve had on the people around you, or do you want to say, "i was never truly happy because i could never attain the beauty standard that made so i was attractive to everyone so i have failed". You could be the most perfect peach and someone would still prefer apples.
1:02 oh no! Our Zoe did glitch. Is she an alien?😄👽
Damn I thought that was just my yt glitching lol
Idk why but the final "You are not average" made me tear up and almost cry. I don't even struggle that much with my image besides being worried about hitting 130 lbs at 5'1 (ridiculous, I know), but it hit hard when told that
That's a great video as usual, with great points. Just wanted to say that as for me, I am quite normal/average looking, nothing exceptional that could catch another person's attention immediately, but I don't think it's bad, I am more than Okey with being "boring" in terms of my looks, with being dressed as almost every single person. It's fine for me, I don't like attention, and I have validation from my dearest few
For me it feels like hair can really change someone from average to unique, like if you have an interesting hairstyle or color then that’s what will catch my eye, otherwise I do think most people look average (regardless of their face), when I first see someone I mainly look at their hair
Only socials I'm on is CZcams so I'm only hearing this for the first time. What? Quite honestly I never struggled wid beauty but my heart breaks for these girls
It’s not just social media influence. It’s a grab for power.
I helped myself by saying 3x in the morning along the words: „I am pretty.“, and after a few weeks, I did see my features likeable. I begin to saw myself as an unique appearance. I have to like myself and mist girls think well maybe my crush won’t like me because of my appearance. First, in the case he is a boy/man, don’t worry. You chose him and if he doesn’t seem to like you than be happy about it. He doesn’t have the personality and would always look behind you to another woman’s body. Not worth it. You are choosing, not him.
Such a good mentalityyy you are so beautiful I'm glad u can see that now ❤❤
Me encanta su voz, es tan suave y calmada. Y nadie es promedio, la belleza no es algo que se pueda medir, pesar ni promediar. Lo que importa es como uno se sienta hacia uno mismo, tener amor propio y cuidar nuestra salud mental, física y financiera.
I thought we Zillennials had it bad in 2012 with tumblr thinspo but this shit is on a new level. My heart goes out to all you kids growing up on TikTok. I'm glad TikTok came out when I was old and smart enough to know not to download it.
This video was perfect
The strangest part of this is how personality alters your appearance…to others. Beauty on a purely aesthetic level is a stupidly high bar but once there’s a personality attached to it, people change their opinions on whether that person is attractive or not. It’s like when there’s a cute guy but then he speaks and you’re like, nvm. Or when guys started calling Margot Robbie mid because she was no longer just a sex symbol, but a feminist. It’s why I think women are pressured to look so good all the time, because we’re not expected to have anything to say, opinions, a character, we’re not expected to have a personality (just serve a purpose).
Here’s a comment for the algorithm ❤️ I loved the video!
by far one of my favs
Modeling industry is highly criticized but they are the ones who appreciate unique features.
You. Are. So. Right!
If God wanted us to all look the same, we would. But He created a variety of colors, hair textures, shapes, and sizes to admire. Why be a conformist when we're uniquely and "wonderfully made"? (Psalms 139:14) 🫶🏽✌🏽
LOVE this comment
I just want to know why he made me so ugly, like I wish I was his favorite
@@emmeline8048 God made us all fearfully and wonderfully made. Beauty fades, and a gentle and quiet spirit is very precious to him. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised and her husband and children will wake up and call her blessed
Not religious but yeah! We were made to be unique. Why look the same like some dystopia robot book
@@hayley718this comment is rubbing me the wrong way. You can't make someone love you if they fear you. That's not love, that's control. That's abuse.
Living around the LA area has affected me a lot to be honest. Back in Texas I used to get quite a bit of complements. And then I moved out here and I have only gotten about four complements in a whole year. And obviously that affected my self esteem. Especially because I was struggling with ED last year. I thought I was pretty but literally there seems to be so much competition here. It doesn’t matter if i dress up or down im treated the same. I might end up moving back to Texas in another year. A lot of people who think they are “average” are actually attractive in my opinion. There is just soo much pressure from media and society!
There is a very common trick in statistics that is basically showing average as if it's a synonym to median. The median is the most common, while the average is a weighted mean of values. If you have extreme values, even when in a smaller quantity, they do drag the average quite a bit, while the median stays sufficiently the same. Humans for some reason have a lot of difficulty with these concepts and it's used for a lot more than beauty, but also finances and other metrics, anything that people use to compare themselves to others normally have very different average and median results.