“Ugly privilege is real. Don't be shallow”
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- čas přidán 3. 06. 2024
- Is feeling ugly a bad thing?
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2:04 Growing up ugly
5:34 Why do people feel ugly
10:21 #ugly privilege: a revolution
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do you think ugly privilege is real?
I think everyone is beautiful as God created them pretty/handsome, that's my opinion 💗
idk about other people but it definitely makes a difference for how i feel. Whenever i feel ugly, i talk more and act more confident but when i feel pretty i just have the urge to be silent and just look cute
@@amiapsychopatthat’s such an interesting take! Thanks for sharing!
Well, I don't feel lucky being 'ugly'. But I understand that, when you don't have the best reputation due to your appearance or behaviour you really can do what you want. But lucky, I wouldn't call it that. It's more confidence you built since people don't care about you, I guess.
everyone is amazing but I do think that they have privileges in their own ways...no one is ugly and it's all down to confidence.
As an ugly girl, we still aren't safe, in fact I find people are more insulting, aggressive, violent, and manipulative to me.
plus growing up, pretty girls were never bullied... but we ugly girls were. :(
@palehoney79 I am 36 years old, and work in a male dominated industry, I hear people talk about me often here... I had one guy a few weeks ago, tell me "when I first met you, I thoughts wow, not at all attractive, but your personality made me love you."
Do you want me to thank you for calling me ugly? Lol
@@andromeda1903This is not true. Pretty girls were bullied growing up and that’s still happening today. I was bullied growing up because of the way I looked. Ugly people aren’t exclusive to bullying, come on now. 🙄
i think u cant escape it, as someone who fits in the beauty standards every rejected or even if not has called me a whore/slut like for no reason, they don't comment on my face as often bt rather on my character
As far as I can tell from your profile pic I don't think you're ugly at all. One doesn't need to be a model to be pretty or at least "not ugly". Pretty sure you look bomb in a red dress with some cleavage and nice hair and make up :)
In a serious note, it is dangerous to think “only conventionally good looking people are SA’ed.” These predators chose victims they believe they can take advantage of without consequences. Predators want power.
I hate that this misconception is going to spread around more thanks to TikTok 😔
That's an exception. Not the rule. Generally speaking, attractive women are SA'ed more often compared to ugly women.
@@snotrohmitabc123 There are studies that disagree with you.
@@iCupcakeMelaniex3 Point to the studies.
@@snotrohmitabc123 pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31475616/
Being unattractive doesn’t make anyone safer, maybe you feel like it but if someone wants to take advantage of you they will do it regardless of your look
I make myself ugly depending where I'm going to be either safer, more accepted, blend in etc.
I´m pretty ugly privileged because I´m never cat called :)
@@rattylittlemysame experience 💯💯
Yes but we have lower chance .
Being SA'd or stalked or harassed isn't about meeting a beauty ideal. It's about power, control, and entitlement FFS
👏👏 yes I agree with you
Fr there have been psychological studies done on imprisoned rapists and harassers, and their reasons for doing what they did was for power. They wanted control and to harm someone. It barely had anything to do with sexual desire.
Feeling ugly is not the same as being ugly Zoe
Exactly!!
It actually is... it has to do a lot with the mind. Think about it: you can feel ugly but not be ugly, feel ugly and be ugly, but you can also feel beautiful while being ugly.
So I think that's what Zoe is trying to say, and I totally agree with her--- that ugly and beautiful are just concepts like perfect and imperfact; that in real life people are what they think they are, hence every single person has a different definition/opinion about what is ugly or isn't.
Tell me what you think
@@catalina2611in my opinion its not the same because if youre ugly in the eyes of society you will have a higher chance of being bullied etc...
BUT if youre like at least average but you feel ugly, people will still treat you well
Tell it to the trend she was bouncing off of maybe?🤨
Thank you
Maybe we need to stop making "essays videos" using tiktok as a source.
@@pixiecore8259 I noticed, but it's one thing to make videos on fashion trends, it's totally different when it comes to delicate topics such as sexual harassment
Seriously it’s like nobody does actual research anymore and just regurgitates what somebody else said on the internet
for real
This.❤
Exactly. It's so annoying 😑
As someone who grew ugly and is still ugly, I see no privilege at all...
You are not alone ! 😂❤ we will be pretty someday too , don't worry
@@hananeko4565 thanks, I hope so too!!!
@@hananeko4565let's stop giving importance to beauty we are more important than our looks
The only privilege I found, is when people actively avoid me in public
Being charismatic is in my opinion, more important than being just "pretty". Work on your confidence, your passions and how you present yourself then you will attract people, who genuinely appreciate you for who you are.
seriously unhinged, "ugly girls don't get sa'd" seriously??
"If you're ugly, you're less likely to be sexually assaulted or harassed."
This take is utterly anti-feminist. I'm unsubscribing.
I, and many other people, faced horrendous bullying for my appearance that effects my mental health to this day. It's also true if you have a scar, disability, or facial difference that makes you not fit into the societal definition of "beautiful". Or if you endure fatphobia. I've endured bodyshaming that has damaged me deeply, and so have many other "imperfect" women.
I've read comment sections where victims were disbelieved because they were fat or "not pretty enough" to be assaulted.
Don't get me wrong, people like Marilyn Monroe had issues with targeting, objectification, or people assuming she was unintelligent. But it's not as simple as "ugly people have it better." On the whole, they have it worse. Attractive people are more likely to get ahead in the entertainment industry or be hired and gain more privilege that way as well.
This had nothing to do with you 2000 page essays, dumbass
It’s true that ugly people still get assaulted and harassed, but it’s less likely for it to happen to them. And your 2000 page essay has never once stated anything about sexual harassment, and everything about bullying and being made fun of. Learn how to listen.
This video feels gross
It does
How?
@@frogshavehats4994 13:46 "from the safety perspective ugly privilege does sound really nice" being ugly isn't a shield from the harassment and stalking tf
@@frogshavehats4994 being seen as conventionally unattractive does not decrease your risk of sexual assault or abuse in general like this implies.
In my opinion, this comes off like Zoe is trying to flex on her viewers in some weird twisted way, just like it feels when she talks about her figure and eating habits. It’s v MPDG of her
All of her videos are gross
saying ugly people are a lot less likely to be sa’d is one step away from saying people who are dressing up, making themselves look good etc. are “asking for it”. i usually agree with you and i may have misunderstood but this take is dangerous and disrespectful to “ugly” victims of sa’d
I actually think it's on the same level because both statements come from the narrative of "if you are not attractive (aka being ugly or not putting clothes that "enchance" your features) then you can't be hara$$ed".
They also shift the attention to the victim in the same way like "men can't possibly control themselves if you are so pretty, so it's obviously on you for not being invisible enough"
Hara$$ment was never about how much a victim was desirable, but only about how the abuser wants to feel powerful
These girls are not even ugly. This is so self-depreciating. So exhausting.
and they're not even mentioning privileges, really. like walking alone and feeling safe is a fucking right
@@sofiaparsekianthat literally no woman has, at least not in some places in the US (like where I'm from). Doesn't matter what you look like, there's so many sickos out there looking for an easy target.
Cry for attention or sad because they couldn’t get Chad.
Many people are just fishing for compliments
Im sorry, Zoe… Arguing that ugly privilege makes it so that you do not get SEXUALLY HARASSED is the most unhinged take you’ve had… ever. I am not pretty by society standards Im fat, I don’t mind it. But I’m fat, “3 grade obese” fat in medical terms. I just got sexually harassed by a taxi driver. Because sexual harrasment has nothing to do with what a victim does or looks and has everything to do with the perpetrators criminality and psychological issues. And I’ve been sexually harassed other times as a fat person and a fat child. SEXUAL HARRASMENT AND STALKING HAVE LITTLE TO DO WITH ATRACTIVENESS AND MORE TO DO WITH MENTAL HEALTH of the abuser, upbringing and a patriarchal society. This video is really harmful. There are plenty of victims who are not pretty, who are ugly, and still were harassed or bothered or raped. And yes, pretty people do suffer from that. And it’s not because they are pretty it’s because of the criminals who do it. Get a grip.
You are basically blaming pretty people for being pretty and getting sexually harassed
Yeah i usually like her videos but errr idk about this one
SAY IT LOUDER!!
Yes!
Amen honestly
Agreed
It's so weird when people call themselves "ugly" in middle school like... well you were 12? You just look like the child you were...
Yes! Or when people used to do the glow up check and compare a picture of them at 12 and a picture of them at 19, it's not a glow up, it's growing up.
But, if at 12, you’re treated poorly because of your looks, then it sticks with you. I was relentlessly teased about wearing glasses in middle school and as an adult, I still feel self-conscious about being seen in glasses (I feel ugly). I only wear glasses in the house and contacts when I go outside, have a Zoom meeting at work, etc. I know it’s ridiculous to still feel this way, but I do.
I mean I think I actually was ugly in middle school lol. I had big nostrils and my teeth were really crooked.
exactly@@Melissa-sx9vh
All i know is I look back at school pictures from that age and my pretty friends look straight out of we heart it while I looked like a blind turtle whith an oversized head
wtf. I got catcalled both when I looked like a potato and now that I look decent. it's dangerous to think that only "pretty" people get harassed
Yeah it's a dumb idea, it also lends into the whole victim blaming when girls dressed immodestly get assaulted, getting assaulted and harrased has nothing to do with the victim and everything to do with the perpetrator. I have gotten more sexually harassed when I look my ugliest
@@___hannah. Well, I only get catcalled when I dress a bit immodestly, that's when I get the most unwanted attention from women.
I got hit on/catcalled as a kid, in a big jacket that made me look like a pillow covering me head to toe, at night, by two grown men. Obviously it has nothing to do with it. She is basically saying “pretty ppl r asking for it”
Zoe I usually like your videos but I think this video was a miss for me. I was considered ugly when I was younger to the point where I was told that it woule be impossible for a man to fall for me based on my looks. Classmates, especially male classmates, would ganged up on me to tell me how repulsive I was and they wanted nothing to do with me. When I tell people this they assume I must have never deal witb sexuall harassment but unfortunately they are wrong. I was catcalled as a "joke" and touched by people, even the same ones who made fun of my appearance. I was even mocked when I tried to report my male classmate for touching my bra. Even with all this I still grew up thinking I have never experienced sexual harassment because I am an ugly girl. With therapy I realized that I was and it had an affect on my body I was not aware. So what I am trying to say is that there may be ugly privilege but not beint sexually harassed is not one of them.
if you are a woman, you will always be sexually harassed no matter what. sadly. Men are gross... sometimes they target you because they think ugly girls are desperate...they are dumb. and they will always be mad and potentially aggressive if a woman rejects them... and they wonder why we avoid them???
and continue to blame women for avoiding men, rather than self reflection...
Yeah not sure where she thought she was going with this video 💀
It's not that being unattractive is a shield against sexual harrasment it's just that a lot of men are MORE LIKELY to harras who they're attracted to. In my experience i walked in paris a lot with 1 or 2 more attractive friend(s) and they always get the most negative (and positive) attention.
But then I also heard some predatory men saying for ex. they targeted whoever doesn't have a strong man around that could beat them up... So as long as there's no large survey asking these fucked up men what's their reasoning, we'll never know.
Anyhow I hope you don't feel invalidated by my comment. I am not trying to blame you in anyway and am sorry that you had such terrible experiences.
Okay wait I never thought that! Wow the part where people who bullied you where the ones that also hara$$ed you, hit sooo close to home.
I always remembered (because it didn't make sense to me) that a guy who once told me to "shut up, you're ugly" was also a guy who "jokingly" touched my a$$ without consent but I never thought of it as actual hara$$ment.
Thank you sooo much for sharing your experience (otherwise I would have never thought of it in that way)!❤ I'll absolutely talk about this in therapy
I really hope you are feeling better now🥰
In Asia, being ugly won't make you have any privilege 😂 people will make fun of, bully, talk behind your back, or constantly criticize you
And you can't get a job even if you're the smartest, they will choose the prittiest girl
who said u that?@@vanitydefender
@@vanitydefendertbh even in the west unless u become a doctor (ew)
Saying ugly people don't get SA'ed is only make pervert give excuses that an attractive person is asking for harrasment.
hey, um, is it just me but if youre ugly, people actually think they have more of an excuse to sexually harass you?
Legit. I didn't get her take at all.
The excuse would be so simple too, like: "(s)he's inferior so it's not as bad/ not like anyone would notice/ not like we are losing anything in the possibility of failure, for it's easier to weaken them through social pressure and we can easily blame it on them (gaslight them) just in case!" 🤷
exactly, you said what i was thinking but in more detail@@user-lj1ob1sj8g
literally this
It's not just you mate 😑
LITERALLY. Because they view ugly people as weaker and inferior, they think no one will believe them anyway
i'm sorry it's ridiculous to equate sexual harassment with attraction. i used to be in a class with an autistic guy who would be sexually harassed by his classmates - even as far as being groped during class - but because it was "a joke", because they weren't actually attracted to him it wasn't taken seriously as sexual harassment. and i think that's fucking unfair. personally i considered myself ugly for a long time and so put very little effort into my appearance, wearing plain modest clothes so i don't attract attention to myself. and guess what? i've still been catcalled. i've still had my body commented on by random men i've never met. sexual harassment and assault doesn't happen because you're pretty, or because you wore too revealing clothes or you "asked for it" or anything like that. we need to stop acting like if the victim was uglier or more modestly dressed they wouldn't have been attacked because THAT'S FUCKING AWFUL AND VICTIM BLAMING!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!
People treat you worse when you're ugly or don't want to talk to you. Ive experienced it and seen it. Not privilege, just hurt
I don’t think it’s about being ugly, it’s misogyny and the resulting inadequacy women feel and the constant dangers we have to face. It doesn’t matter who we are, we’ve all been subject to them at some point. It fuels pretty much every issue revolving around us nowadays.
exactly, there are negatives and positives with being pretty and with being less attractive. no woman is safe no matter wtf they look like, how old they are, who they are, what they wear, where they are, etc. got nothing to do with our looks, legit NOTHING
THANK YOU
As an "ugly" girl, I still don't feel safe from being stalked, harassed and assaulted by men or feeling i can freely do whatever i want. It might depend on country/city/neighbourhood you live in. And for me, even "ugliness" isn't a protection from facing this horrible attention from men. So there is definitely no privilege for girlie's like me.
Also I think that being an "ugly" woman and an "ugly" man are completely different experiences. So when it comes to studies, there should be separate ones for men and women.
Also really need a video about being 20+ and never getting any romantical (not creepy) attention from anyone.
As an ugly girl too there is no privilege in being ugly I thought being ugly was freedom but males won't leave you alone in peace and avoid you they will terrorise the living hell out if you,,female ugliness is experiencing the worst version of the male species they show you contempt in a psycho level
Yesss
I did get for 2 times and both of the times i didn't even realise it. They were both ppl i wasn't attracted and ppl i saw as friends. So like maybe I don't act like myself when I feel attraction towards them which makes them taken aback from me. Anyways I pray for mutual love I would love a healthy realtionship
you might be pretty then. i have never been catcalled or anything, nor been shown more 'romantic' attention. ALL of my pretty friends have.. it's pretty clear that being ugly is what stops it.
@@happyorange1 same
In my experience, being seen as unattractive doesn't make me feel any safer. If anything, your bank account is more likely to determine that, since being poor will put you in more risky situations whether ugly or pretty. But in the instance of assault or stalking, the sad part is that nobody believes you because you are not " pretty enough to be harrassed". Maybe I am being dramatic, but people really treat you like shit when you're ugly. You can see everywhere how people are much more sympathetic to pretty people in the instances of injustice and crimes commited against them.
The most you can do is choose to not stay ugly, dress modestly, and protect yourself by not putting yourself in vulnerable situations with other males.
people treat you super bad when you are pretty too. I think its because of jealousy from women, because they want to look like you and hatred from men because you didnt choose them. (sometimes because you are only one woman and you cant choose everyone lol). I think being average looking might be an advantage, its more communism? but idk, people are just mean, i think. lol
@@snotrohmitabc123 "choose to not stay ugly" some people's facial bone structure alone makes them unsightly according to society, and not everyone has the huge amount of money needed to get the procedures done. Are we really telling people they are choosing to be ugly because stuff like double jaw surgery exists? People putting the blame of ugliness on others because plastic surgery exists is such a bad development.
Dressing modestly doesn't protect you against SA. Not putting yourself in situations where you are alone with men you don't absolutely trust does help (and it's advice that the large majority of women already know), but your control over your environment is quite limited. Sa happens in broad daylight in public, it can happen when you are with a group of friends, it can happen when you are walking outside with your family, if you're alone on an elevator and a guy gets in there's little you can do about it.
@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 ong who tf has money for cosmetic surgery
@@ohtartarsauce6301 Exactly. Some surgery plans cost between 20000 and 50000$, we shouldn't be like "you're choosing to be ugly because you won't get these things done", and even if it was not that expensive, why are people blaming those who don't go under the knife?
I’m an ugly big girl and can say ugly privilege is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard…‘you’re so lucky ur ugly because ppl ignore you so it’s safer for you’ huh?? People HATE ugly ppl especially fat ugly ppl…relentless bullying, literally being ignored, and anyone in public will shame you or make fun of you…I’ve had moments when a cashier is super friendly and talkative with someone in front of me but once they see me it’s like I’m a ghost…also being ugly doesn’t stop someone from getting sa’d…😭
Wow I also experienced the cashier thing, he was smiling to the beautiful girl in front of me but once it was my turn he changed expression to poker face like bro...💀
You really didn't have to be that obvious...
@@chiko8154people are shamelessly shallow in this world and do not call out other people on that shit either which is the real problem. "Ugly privilege" is bullshit and people would rather blame, gaslight and shame ugly women a million times over before considering their own complicity in our mistreatment. Conventionally attractive women are extremely complicit in downplaying S.A. that ugly women experience. Like most of them are fucking garbage about this shit.
Oh no Zoe ....
You fucked up with posting this one ......
Doesn’t matter how you look no one is truly safe.
women do not experience SA bc they’re pretty, we experience this bc we’re women. im always worried bout men, and i have reasons for it just like most women, no matter what they look like, do. im definitely not in the ”pretty” group and i was groped this year
women get harassed regardless of what they look like, whether you're "pretty" or "ugly". thinking otherwise opens up the route for other nasty insinuations such as questioning a victims morals/clothing etc. looks have nothing to do with the dangers abusers put us in.
yeah... none of these girls are "ugly". So.... weird
The sa thing is literally messed up I’m fat and ugly and I’ve gotten saD before and no one beloved me because of my weight….
I’m so sorry. 😢Please don’t believe this video. You’re not alone ❤
what is she on about 😭
Finally ppl see you for the child you are
Okay ugly privilege isn’t going to stop you from getting r a p p e d or mugged like the girl at the gas station at night alluded to. Being attacked is about *CONFIDENCE* . It doesn’t matter what you look like. If you’re in a sketchy situation *walk* *like* *an* *angry* *beech* . I’ve always told this to anyone I meet that has just moved to the city. Smh. That girl at the gas station was pretty. None of these people are ugly.
That is exactly what really worried me about this. Being assaulted is not about looks! If you are alone at night, distracted, and especially if you're a feminine presenting person - you are NOT SAFE! Please don't let this start making people complacent -_-
this is just not true lol
Yup. At night, walk with purpose and look mildly pissed off.
in my experience ugly people still experience sexual harassment but for different reasons. people saying inappropriate things about you or touching you as a "joke" because even the idea of you being considered somewhat desirable is a funny to those people. happened regularly to me in school by the popular guys in my year group that bullied me. on top of that ugly people that do get harassed or sexually assaulted are less likely to be believed because people think you're "too ugly to be a victim".
I read a news story about an 80 year old woman who was s*xually assaulted by a home invader. It doesn't matter what you look like, you can be victimized.
how can ugly have privilege.. we dont even have rights if we’re not pretty. ik this is not the best way of thinking tho
This video contains a surprisingly low number of ugly people.
I used to be a follower for a long time but I feel like the more I watch her videos the more conflicted I feel by her messaging, like her older videos of how to not be fat and ugly still pop up among the other older content and her current videos still heavily focus on her body and how she stays thin, I feel like the underlying thin is in message is still everywhere which really makes me sad bc I want to still enjoy her content, any of yall feel the same way?
Yes, definitely. Especially the "ugly people aren't targeted for abuse" part.
@@lordfreerealestate8302 like preying on vulnerabilities isn't a thing
Yeah unfortunately... I believe it was her latest video that made me question her.. Especially talking about a topic like fat acceptance being bad (which I know it is in general a sensitive topic) and in that video having Blaire White as an example of showing up some sort of source?! I mean how hilarious isn't that!? xD
If everything is a privilege nothing is a privilege. How come "pretty privilege" and "ugly privilege" can coexist?
Because everything has good sides and bad sides. Being tall makes it easier for you to reach high places. But being short is better for your spine. That's why this obsession with calling everything "privilege" is so dumb. Everything comes with some perks but it doesn't mean it's "privilege".
For those looking for some reason to unsubscribe or likewise, check this out: 13:47 - 14:21. So, basically "being ugly" makes you less likely to get SA'ed? Mrs. Insanity right there ya'll.
buddy. harassment is not about looks about power and sadism
All these girls saying there ugly arent ugly at all
I’m not 10/10 but I was cat called few times, like being ugly doesn’t make your save from still being a woman
I want to say that its not just conventionally attractive people that are seen as one dimensional. Ugly people aren't seen as multi faceted people, because people don't look past their appearance either
Absolutely. Ugly/bodyshamed people are reduced to their bodies. There's also the Halo Effect, a theory which suggests we favor attractive people and believe they are more moral, intelligent, and charismatic. Even going back to the Middle Ages, ugly people (think Cinderella and the ugly stepsisters, witches, ie) were evil and the beautiful people were good. Studies on the halo effect "found subjects were more lenient when sentencing attractive individuals than unattractive ones, even though exactly the same crime was committed."
I'm ugly so people tend to treat me like shit, since I have no value to them. I've been bullied a lot, there was this guy online who targeted me because "I don't like your face". Those people who insult my body and my face when they ask for something in the street, and I say no to them. Girls not wanting to be friends with me cause I look odd. I have no friends since now I always think that the ones who want to befriends me want to humiliate me, to feel better in their own skin. I had a lot of girls friends who said to me that they looked better than me, they didn't want to be seen with me. I'm suffering due to my ugliness, it's not a privilege at all. I've already been sexually assaulted. By a guy who called me ugly, btw.
Holy shit same a dude who called !e ugly did that
Also if SA and rape is the issue, children and old people are SA Ltd as well. It has nothing to do with looks. It how much of disgusting pervert the assaulter is.
girl this is not it.
i find Gen Z’s obsession with the word “privilege” so interesting
Well said
Yeah. Curious where does that come from? Do they want to label themselves as a victim of some sort of "oppression" because of the attention and sympathy real victims get?
There is victim obsession with gen z
Disclaimer: I dont really agree with the take that 'ugly'people aren't harassed
As a poc does anyone else experience that we are inherently 'ugly' purely based on our non eurocentric features but simultaneously fetishized and hyper sexualized as well? We are also viewed as disposable and less valued, leading to our voices being dismissed even if we do speak out against any assault or harassment. Its like men feel entitled to us? Anyone else feel this?
Also anyone feel that as someone that's viewed as sexually desirable, men make sure to undercut and devalue this beauty to make you small and controllable? Its like once you dont believe your beautiful/worth loving thez can control you they own you.
Lastly, any early bloomers that "developed" at a young age, what's your experience? I was a pretty lonely kid but once I developed I was instantly given this (gross) attention from older family members/men in general. And the women around me shamed me calling me a slut and a whore for "attracting" this attention.
What's y'alls experience?
I STRONGLY disagree with you. There is absolutely no advantages being ugly. Btw ugliness is OBJECTIVE, you have a great jaw shape and a symetric face or not + You are fat or not. Sometimes, even with a great shape, you're too fat so ugly because we dont see it (jawline) (then ugliness means you have low chin etc .. go check an orthodentist and surgical operations)
From what I understand her take was “it’s advantageous to be ugly bc you won’t be SA’d” or something dumb. And that people aren’t ugly, we just need more “confidence” or some sht. Yeah tell that to every ugly person that’s been SA’d, and having confidence doesn’t make people stop hating ugly people.
Basically the same points that normal looking people always make because they don’t know what it’s like being ugly. ffs
@@ohtartarsauce6301 It comes across as "be confident and you won't be bodyshamed/judged/bullied for your appearance." Confidence is attractive but it doesn't work that way. Confidence isn't a shield.
Exactly, being ugly is a predicament, they need to stop pretending that its not and further disacknowledging the shit “ugly” ppl have to put up with
I would disagree on the stalking part or harassment part
As an overweight unattractive person i have been harrased multiple times others have been stalked
For those people starting off tiktoks with “oh, i’m sooo ugly 🤢🤢” and stuff like *being scared to show my face on ft* imo they are just compliment fishing, because, if they truly felt that way about themselves, there’s no way they’d feel the pride to make a tiktok about it. Idk, i guess i just have a hard time grasping the ppl’s constant need to post everything abt their lives on social media 🤷🏼♀️
waiting for an apology for this video as a whole and for the gross weight loss and intermittent diet promo that she always couples with ur beautiful just the way u are rhetoric. fyi SA is beyond looks, weight or attractiveness, dumbing it down it that is harmful and ignorant. for the video at least can we see an apology
Why do we need to segment harassment into "pretty privilege" "ugly privilege" etc. Instead of arguing about whether someone was harassed for not fittjng the beauty standard enough, or whether they were harassed for fitting it too well, how about we just talk about how normalized haraasment is
Are you fucking kidding me.
Honestly I think that the standards are merely a mindset that are taken from society (or social media, mostly nowadays).
No one is extremely beautiful nor extremely ugly, I feel as though people should stop making beauty a persons worth or importance.
And exactly like you said; Being beautiful (or even ugly) is subjective, not everyone will agree as it’s not a fact. It’s just what people think and people should stop measuring their worth based off people who are clearly not them.
Let’s be real. If people genuinely feel ugly privilege outweighs pretty privilege, we’d all try to be uglier.
Also I want whatever you’re smoking. Baffled and impressed by how someone can be so out of touch with reality and unhinged, yet spoke cogently and eloquently without a second thought.
It’s just her condescending hand movements I think😂 I won’t call anyone reading off a script eloquent
she doesn't actually know what she's talking about lmao. she just uses hand movements and the occasional fancy word to pretend like she does lmao. 90% of her 'research' comes from tik tok and other unreliable sources
I feel like there are a lot of good points here about social comparison and beauty, but also a lot of harmful points like as if ugly people are totally safe from SA.
The thing is no matter how bad you look there will be a creep that still finds you attractive. I don’t think ugly privilege is a thing. In my country cat calling is frowned upon so it doesn’t happen too often, but no matter how good or bad I looked I had experienced it similar amount of times.
oh. i saw the title and went "surely she's not going to suggest being ugly gives you the great privilege of not suffering sexual violence?"... but these comments tell me otherwise. idk if i want to watch, is that what it is? edit: this point has not been made 15 minutes in! phew!
yeah ikr I'm very worried usually the videos of hers I've seen aren't problematic but I'm concerned about her thoughts in this one
Being Ugly:
Positive:
Empathic people try to befriend you
• Neutral:
You are left alone
You are ignored/ invisible
• Negative :
bullying
Insecurities
You are ostrocized
actively dismised
recive threats
treated as repulsive
Assumed low competence in social, work or romantic settings.
I went through a stage of being very unattractive (lmao no eyebrows) but I can VERY honestly say that I experienced no privilege 😭 maybe that’s just me tho
If there is pretty privilege and ugly privilege then there’s no privilege, there’s just life.
13:47 no I definitely disagree with you
As someone who genuinely feels ugly and doesn't care enough to "love myself" or "glow up", I have so much empathy for pretty and ugly girls. Let's face it as women we all get sh1t, we all get harassed, we all get subjected to ridiculous gazes and standards. I won't say I've never felt pretty, because I have, and what has made me feel pretty are internal things. Like sometimes I feel pretty while I'm working out, studying, when I wear bows or let my hair loose and it slowly becomes a birds nest. I feel pretty when I feel the softness of a skirt on my legs or warm grass on my feet. We truly all are pretty and ugly, because these things are subjective. Both sides will have goods and bads.
Please a video about how people normalize skinny shaming
I think she's done something like that
@@christysong9578 can you please share the link of that video I can't find ??
Zoe I mean this politely but you’re a bit delulu.
Before I went through puberty, I was an overweight kid considered "ugly" I guess. Didn't have friends, and my classmates also didn't care about me lol. I swear after I lost weight and I guess you could say "went through a glow up" so much people started to become nicer to me, classmates, especially those "popular girls" started to talk to me and wanted me to become their friend, I got stared at too (but that's kinda uncomfortable ngl). And at first I was happy, didn't notice the changes but after some time I did, I noticed how those people were so fake and only noticed me when I started to look good. So I distanced from them and continued to stay with the friend who was there for me before all this♥️
Predators have varying reasons for their attacks. They don’t all think the same. They attack people considered ugly, disabled, fat, non-white, or foreign just as much as they would anyone else. Not too long ago they didn’t believe sexual crimes were real when the victims were Black women. The thought being, “you can’t rape property” or “they feel no pain”. To this day assault on dark skin women is not taken seriously because they don’t fit the beauty standard. Similarly people with mental and physical disabilities. A lot of people still don’t believe that they are often attacked by predators. And people still think fat women don’t experience sexual assault and harassment because they aren’t the beauty standard. Fitting the skinny white beauty standard is not a requirement for abuse, assault, or harassment of any nature to happen to someone. It’s 2023 and most people are still uneducated 🤦♀️ smh
Edit: not experiencing harassment is not an ‘ugly girl’ thing and experiencing harassment is not a ‘pretty girl’ thing. They are just experiences that can be wrongfully brought upon anyone. Just thinking about the guys who bet on “smashing” or “winning over” an “ugly” girl just for the fun of it and proceed to slip her date rape drugs makes me mad. Sometimes men don’t have to do anything to pit women against each other. These women sound like pick me’s. Their gaslighting “pretty” women to make themselves feel better about the fact they hate themselves. The fight against patriarchal standards is only highlighted further by this take.
Some real bad takes in this one
i grew up "ugly", and am still to this day considered unattractive/undesirable. i am also a repeat victim of SH & SA. being "ugly" does not make you "safer" from these kinds of attacks. beliefs like that is what perpetuates the idea that attractive women are "asking" for it by being attractive, and it causes "ugly" or "unattractive" women to be believed less on their claims of SA and SH because "you're too ugly to be r-ped" or "nobody is gonna catcall an ugly girl". this video very much reads like you've never actually experienced what it is to be unattractive, and wanted an excuse to say "see! being pretty isn't that great, ugly people get privileges too."
I feel like, as you said, everyone should have the possibility to feel ugly or pretty without people judging them for it. Because realistically, our personal idea of beauty and what we would like to have to be "more beautiful" is incredibly subjective. It is valid to feel one way or the other on different days. I just wish being beautiful wasn't something to base the opinion of how much a person is valuable in the first place(wishful and basically utopian thinking yes, but nevertheless, it would make this whole issue way easier to handle).
It doesn’t exist. It’s not privilege
I always thought that "beauty is subjective only when you're beautiful" beauty standards are trends , but trends are not subjective. People still don't like someone who is a bit on the thicker side (not obese) or has a broad nose or smallest eyes....
If youre ugly and want to be a dancer/singer theres 1 in 100000000000 chance for you to succeed
Growing up I got made fun by the “pretty” popular girls and now as an adult I have a hard time finding girls that are by society’s definition of pretty to be pretty because somewhere subconsciously in my brain I assume they’ll be mean to me, it’s something I’m working on, but I tend to find more alternative looking people so gorgeous because it’s so cool to see their different styles, it sticks out more to me
I know it might be problematic but Actually I'd rather be pretty and objectified than being what I am now ugly and invisible
not problematic in my opinion. average and pretty people could never understand ugly people like us. Lmao they expect us to be grateful to be "sub-human" looking enough for People to not show us a good time and for us to not get access to normal and basic social interactions,what a joke. (also sorry if english is bad it's not my mother tongue)
Disdvantages of being pretty exist sure. But advantages of being ugly… not really…
I almost never get any attention good or bad. I feel invisible wherever I go. Which I guess can be a good thing, but also feels dehumanizing and lonely after a while.
I found out that one of the reasons about me still being obese is because it kind of saves me from getting attention from men. It is kind of like a safety guard around me that I always wear.
Your comment remind me of an interview with a woman who had been s*xua11y assaulted and she said she got obese so it wouldn't happen to her again
It's so sad that people have to go through that, I hope you'll be safe and that nothing bad will happen to you
Ugly is relative though. Like what is considered ugly highly depends on culture and context and your social status. For example I am autistic and grew up thinking I was hideous because that’s how people would treat me because I was weird and a social outcast (not due to my looks but due to my personality). But as soon as I grew up and started going out and meeting people outside of my toxic high school it actually turns out I was quite attractive. Like suddenly people wanted me. And it led to a lot of toxic situations and trauma and abuse. So yeah, “ugly” is relative, it highly depends on social norms and values and how people see you, what is considered ugly to someone might be attentive to someone else. Also, as someone who’s been on both sides of the spectrum, who’s felt both ugly and hot, there honestly no way to win because shitty people will abuse you and traumatize you either way. Either way it’s traumatic and shitty and will leave you feeling broken. I don’t think it’s actually about your physical attractiveness (since that is entirely subjective) but about taking advantage of someone who’s easy to prey on. So no, being considered less than conventionally attractive won’t safe you from trauma it will only make you more insecure and desperate for praise and affection and easier to abuse.
The only thing i ever got from being ugly, it was having to learn to be attractive with personality not looks. So i was ugly, no one liked me romantocally but i had many friends bc of my personality.
Now having glowed up, i still am used to having a great personality, i often forget about my looks. And im still not used to compliments, im okay with people liking me for me and seeing my image as a plus.
Again BEAUTY is subjective.. only you can define yourself. So even if you disagree with this video, thats okay. Because, appearance isnt everything. It may seem to be but we cant generalize everyone and assume everyone only cares about looks. Remember theres many examples of people out there who are DROP DEAD GORGEOUS but are UGLY AS FUCK bc theyre just assholes and stuck up.
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. Give yourselves credit bc theres beauty in everything.
if you believe in "ugly privilege", you are setting yourself in a trap. As a fat young woman who never wears make up, I thought I'm free of unrequested attention. But I got sa'd by my uncle's friend. If people want to do something wrong with someone, they don't care wether it's an ugly person, an elderly person, a child etc.
Society is so perfectionist.
Okay, so clearly most people are feeling bad vibes about this video, and moreover, there's a very frustrating misuse/misunderstanding of terms being used in the concept of what's being called "ugly privilege".
So first, what is "ugliness"? While it's true that especially women are forced to pay extra attention to their attractiveness and thus are influenced by the patriarchal systems that are focused on degrading women to constantly "humble" ourselves, this isn't "ugliness". This is actually insecurity fueled by the systems we exist under, and is a problem worth addressing, but it's not what is being talked about. "Ugliness" if it means anything, means not conventionally attractive (the standards of which change over time, as you mentioned).
The other part of this is "privilege", and the examples of the supposed "ugly privilege" demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding of what the word actually means. "Privilege" = access to power, to put things succinctly. That's why it's absolutely wild to hear "you're ignored and not ackonwledged as a human being" being counted as a privilege; acknowledgement is *essential* to having an opportunity for access to power. While being pretty and acknowledged doesn't ensure that you will be listened to or treated with respect, being ugly and ignored ensures that you do not.
The final part, and this was not an acceptable narrative to perpetuate, so I hope we all really think over this one again, is that being ugly means you're less likely to be targeted for sexual violence. This is, once again, a fundamental misunderstanding of what sexual violence is and why it occurs. Sexual violence is about power over another person, and is something that can only occur if vulnerability exists. While pretty women (and men) can also be vulnerable and thus subjected to sexual violence, to even pretend for a moment that being ugly, being dehumanized to the point of being unacknowledged means that you're less likely to be the victim of sexual violence is incredibly harmful and misinformed. I hope that you rethink this and inform yourself more on topics that are so serious in the future.
Very well-written.
My main aesthetic insecurities are my hair loss, lazy eye, ground down crooked teeth, loose skin, and toes. It's important to acknowledge our insecurities so we can work through them. I'm still working on the working through them part.
The only privilege I have is getting ridiculed at school for being ugly every fuckin day
So.. I feel like I'm a great example of how this works. I went through a period where I was overweight and treated like a "nice" person by people. People didn't see me as a threat at all. The minute I lost 50 lbs, I was watched under a microscope. People began acting more aggressive towards me and I found it harder to tolerate folks. Men were generally nicer to me, while women were either really nice or just straight up mean. When I lost weight, men hit on me more, and women thought I was a teenager (which made it more awkward when they realized my actual age). In the workplace, people would stare at me a lot which make me wear baggie clothes in order to hide. I ended up gaining weight in hopes that people would treat me like a human again. Sad... I know. Instead when I gained weight, people treated me worse than ever before. Creepy predatory men would hit on me. Strangers would make fun of me. I always thought that my weight was a safety net to protect me from predators but I was wrong. If I could do it all over, I would have kept my weight off. Whatever benefit you get from ugly privilege is negated when people begin to look at you as "easy prey".
but I understood exactly what you are saying. Technically, being more attractive does put you in a situation to have MORE predators of variety and in the least expected places. But the only reason for this is because people objectify attractiveness and excuse the creepy behaviors under the guise of "you should have expected that because you are pretty". It comes from a place of obsession. Vs when you are deemed unattractive, the obsession is exploitation of a perceived weakness. So both sides attract nutcases, except one is believed more and swept under the rug and the other goes unaddressed because "why would they want to deal with an ugly person like you."
I call it the perfect victim paradox.
Honestly it feels like beauty is becoming such an abstract and intangible subject. Like, I find dark hair and brown eyes very attractive. But on me, the very same traits, are bland and basic.
We are our own worst critics. The saying the grass is always greener on the other side has stuck around for a reason, unfortunately.
I’ve been told I’m unattractive most my life and I accept that, but guess what? I still don’t have this supposed ‘ugly privilege.’ I get harassed, and I’ve had dudes try to trap me, and I’ve been stalked. This shit just happens to most feminine people.
Girl tf is this video
Especially 13:46
None of these women who are saying they have ugly are actually ugly tho? Maybe not conventionally attractive for that neighbourhood, sure. Imo its more so that they have self confidence, and carry themselves with purpose and confidence, a "won't be fucked with" demeanor, because their identification with ugliness has allowed them to divest in an identity based purely on apprearance, and that can result in not being targeted for catcalling, this demeanor includes walking with purpose and alertness, like you have somewhere to be and people are expecting you to be there, with your head held high with a neutral/not particularly inviting expression, scanning your surroundings and making the eye contact of "I see you and am aware of you so you can't take me by surprise" and also because messing with someone who is not acting in a predictable manner to the predator is risky for a predator...and unfortunately I find a lot of social commentary on such things do not address the fact that humans have, at times a darker nature.
I've seen non-pretty people and fat people get cat called because their body language would imply that they might not be able to fight back, because of vulnerability, and lack of confidence or simply because they are children. And imo that's what predators have an instinct for: people who are vulnerable. It is never actually about the victim. And its not about being attractive, its about power.
Its never the fault of the person who is vulnerable for being vulnerable, it is about people not being taught to be respectful and to view vulnerable people as targets, objects and conquests.
And the eye contact is important to assert dominance. They play the power game, and you show them that YOU have the power over yourself, not them. Back it up with methods to fight back and call for timely help if you have to, I mean sharp objects and martial arts, some ladies in the past have utilised hat pins. It's shitty that you have to do this, but it's really because the environment is shitty. That's not on you as a woman.
And that society needs to raise people to be better.
Not sure about this video…
I never unsub really fast
I got bullied throughout my childhood for being overweight and ugly. Puberty hit me hard which made me thinner. Currently, I feel like my health is declining and look like I have an eating disorder
Ugly privilege is not real. I’m not attractive and all these supposed ‘this happens to me because I’m pretty. It’s so bad,’ things, happen to every woman. I’ve been through all of the things people claim are a negative part of being attractive. People have been jealous of my achievements. Guys have followed me to my car because I’m a woman. Other women have seen me as a threat to their relationship because they are insecure. I’ve had people think I’m stupid because I look younger than I am, I’m a woman who works on cars, and sometimes they think I’m dumb because I made some sort of rookie mistake I normally don’t make, and they define me by that. It has nothing to do with my looks. These are everyone, or at least every feminine person, issues. I can’t really say what men/masculine people get. As for seeing yourself as pretty or ugly, I can’t determine how other people see me but instead of seeing myself as a 2/10 forever, I decided to just say that I’m a solid 5. I can clean up and be a 6 with full makeup or I can be a 4, if I’m sick, didn’t sleep, or just look awful, but at the end of the day, I’m a 5 because that’s what makes the most logical sense. I know logically there is nothing remarkably good or bad about my face and body. It has helped a lot with my body dysmorphia. A lot of attractive people who see themselves as attractive are bad people. They won’t change anytime soon but they will probably once they start aging and start getting consequences for being rude, lazy, selfish, and generally awful. One of the ways I know I’m not truly attractive is because I’ve never gotten a free pass to fuck up. If I broke dress code once, I got wrote up in school. But the pretty, wealthy, popular girls could be out of uniform and a teacher may say ‘please make sure you wear your school pants tomorrow. No no sweetie you aren’t in trouble. It’s ok. We all make mistakes. Just try to follow the rules.’ With me it was always ‘I’m gonna make an example out of you and not go easy, at all.’ People who’ve never been harassed, underestimated, or had some weird jealous dramavore try to ruin them are just lucky to be in a community with few toxic people. I have lived in many different cities and worked in different locations and industries, and had many friend groups in my life. It’s possible to greatly reduce the amount of shit you experience by carefully curating who’s in your life.
Men treat you worse but i find women treat you better. Where if you are pretty, it's the other way around.
This is exactly right. I find plenty of bitter women around my age where I haven't done anything to them. Some are very kind, and and some are plain rude unbelievably. On the other hand, most men are nice to me.
*still looking for the “ugly” people in this video* 🫡
Also, a lot of these women aren’t actually ugly, they just don’t fit western beauty standards.
Like, a lot of them look really good, they just don’t have a button-nose and blue eyes, so they probably got bullied in the early 2000s, when the beauty standards were insane.