is THIN privilege a FAT lie?
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- čas přidán 27. 05. 2024
- skinny privilege is DANGEROUS.
Grow with me mentally and physically.
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//🕙Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
2:36 What is thin privilege
5:02 Fat shaming
7:58 The danger for others
12:43 The danger for the self
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How have you been impacted by thin privilege?
ive been loved by my family more, accepted by my pears, finding clothes more easily and more affordably, been able to experiment with styles, colors , everything more freely. been able to fit loaned clothing and to share my clothing with others. been able to find love. all after i had to starve for years due to my family not having money for food. overweight until 15, starved until 17, and at that year i found the privilege. its disgusting. yet i dont want to lose it.
idk..I have always been skinny , but I am trying to gain weight but it just does not see to happen cause of maybe genetics..but I do have experienced skinny shaming..
I have no idea, I'll be real. When I was a teen, I was pretty thin and while that was a trait the media said was good, I was skinny shamed to death by my mom and the women in my family. I was also fat shamed by kids at school. When I had a bad bout of depression at 17, I started overconsuming unhealthy foods, gained weight, and got terribly sick.
I should add here that I had type 2 diabetes, but that was more for the fact that I quit drinking alcohol but replaced it with soda.
Now, I'm 27, I've successfully quit drinking for a year, I'm losing weight and taking care of myself. Not to lose weight, but because I'm still young and wanna live longer to accomplish my goals. I don't post my body on social media and I'm not making a video format for my podcast, it'll only be audio. I'm at a place where I love my body, and I don't need strangers online fucking that up for me
Preached for being thin when I was actually starving myself :) being thin doesnt equal healtht
@@Cartoonandanimelove1 just because you're unhealthily thin doesn't mean all skinny people are unhealthy
I feel like most "skinny shaming" is born out of jealousy, whereas most "fat shaming" is born out of disgust. I think that's a massive difference.
both are harmful, but the latter comes from a place of malice. And sure, while it's absolutely soul crushing to hear how much your family "wishes they had your struggles" (and that struggle being an eating disorder that was slowly killing me) i know that the reason theyre doing that is because of the shame theyve gotten their entire lives for not being skinny. So if anything, once fat shaming is rooted out, the jealousy and spite will go, which in turn will stop skinny shaming. hurt people hurt people, and once we stop telling fat people everything we think is wrong with their bodies, they wont be so insecure to then project on others. (was that worded okay lmao i dont want it to sound like im blaming fat people for skinny shaming, more so im blaming the society that makes fat people feel the need to shame skinny people. Like skinny shaming would not really exist if systemic fatphobia didnt exist)
Facts …. Fat shaming is from a place of discuss. Skinny shaming is from a place of jealousy.
so tru
No, I would feel incredibly narcissistic thinking that every single person that has called me ugly for being thin is jealous. Maybe if someone is also attractive they may get an occasional jealous comment but I suspect it is rare. Usually attractive and thin people only get criticism after doing something really awful. I’ve read studies on it. Pretty people with faces and bodies that fit the beauty standards get away with so much, that I can’t imagine they get any rude comments unless they really hurt someone, which happens pretty often when you are prided your whole life.
@@baileymoran8585 "but I suspect it is rare." It's not rare, at all. I went from 220lbs to 120lbs and all of the sudden other women were hitting me with the, "Oh you're too thin," "Eat a burger," "Don't lose anymore weight or you're gonna start looking bad." This shit even came from my own mother. It IS jealousy and it IS exceedingly common.
Thin privilege only exists if you're thin in the "right" places. If you're flat you will get shamed.
relate to this so much
I can relate.
exactly, everyone expects us to have mix and match body parts like some kind of mr potato head 💔
@@lisdmon6538 😂 mr potato head!! (but true 😩)
Thin privilege also exists when it comes to shopping for clothing, purchasing airplane tickets, seeking medical help, getting a job, sitting in chairs that fit you, using exercise equipment that was made to accommodate you, etc.
Thinness works like any other privilege in the world. We are all completely ignorant to our own privileges until we hear from folks who don’t have the same privileges or we finally lose our access to that privilege. Take it from a fat person, thin privilege is very real and pretending it’s not is insulting and quite frankly, not a thin person’s place to determine.
I've been on both sides. "Too thin" and "fat". When I was thin, people sometimes expressed concern, judged my eating, or assumed I had an ED. But the world saw me as attractive - people wanted to look like me. Fat shaming is a hundred times worse - You get the unsoclited comments and the entire world does not want to look like you.
finally someone sad it, watching videos like this i always felt bad for thinking that fat shaming is worse than skinny shaming and that being skinnier is objectivly better. People say its subjective and depends on your point of view, although i understand that skinny people can be insecure and feel bad in their body i just feel like almost every fat person would want to swap bodys with skinny person, but almost none of the skinny would want to swap, and its because people still see skinny as far more attractive, and when i was skinny those jokes like "youre gonna fly with the wind" didnt hurt me as much as people saying i would look better if i were skinny, and constantreminder that im fat
T H I S
@@Tolafasolaxd exactly I’ve never been skinny b4 (actually was fatshamed throughout high school by skinny girls who loved their skinnyness and they weren’t even curvy). But I can bet most skinny people hate being skinnyshamed but would rather stay skinny than get fat.
Skinny shaming suck but when you are skinny shamed, it’s like someone commenting on a bad haircut. You can just go “f*ck them” and move on with your life. It can leave you with sadness and self esteem issues, and i’m not gonna take that away from people who feel like this. But society as a whole puts being skinny on a pedestal. It is adored and near worshipped except by a few individuals with snide remarks. It is so shitty.
But with fat shaming, it’s like you don’t deserve to exist until you’ve lost the weight. It can affect you in everything. Even in job application. It goes hand in hand with pretty privilege, in that you could be just slighty less qualified and still get the job because the other one was fat.
@@Andrea-ys1gv Yess fatphobia is worse because it’s systemic, society as whole doesn’t like you as opposed to just one person.
I went from being about 120lbs, super fit to over 200lbs because of medications. Yes there is a stark difference to how people treated me when I was thin to the way people treat me now, and its not positive lemme tell you.
I went thru the exact same thing. From being 113 pounds by starving myself to over 200lbs as well through medication. People are very unkind in the latter part, and feel the need to comment on my weight all the time! Its good to know i'm not the only one.
wow exact same happen to me. all those people who say we're just "unhealthy" dont realize how much medications affect weight. i take antipsychotic for schitzophrenia. it was technically a choice between being clinically insane or fat. definitely choosing fat. i miss being skinny but its just not worth it
Yeah it’s not just people in a dating context. Strangers, friends, even if you just want to hang out and exist
What do you mean by treated you different? Did they no compliment you anymore or did they hurl insults at you? Or did guys not check you out anymore?
Yeah, this is why I will not start no meds with a weight gain side effect. Fuck that.
I went from being told by family members how big I am to being nicknamed "skinny minnie" and being constantly mentioned how they can't believe how little I am. Instead of using the "thin" vs "fat" debate to argue about who has it worse, why can't people understand that beauty standards cause people to never win no matter what they look like?
I agree beauty standards mean no one ever wins. But at least when you're thin you meet some beauty standards some of the time. I've been overweight and I've been 'too thin' and while I felt totally crushed and controlled by beauty standards in both bodies, one of them was a million times easier to live in.
This is where power structures and oppressive forces are important to understand. The world is simply not designed for fat people to exist in, in basically every conceivable way. Meanwhile, beauty standards are molded around thinness and literal EDs thrive amongst anti-fat bias (which fat people can also have btw, it’s just instead of fearing mistreatment, oppression, and rejection based on hypothetical weight gain, fat people actually live within that reality of thin folk’s biggest fears). The difference is all in noticing who our society is designed for and who is “allowed” to exist based on their bodies. Being called skinny is arguably nothing compared to being called an animal while simultaneously being told to off yourself. Do thin folks get told they deserve to d*e too because of their bodies? That their existence is a mistake while explaining a future in which nobody that looks like them exists? The thinnest I’ve ever been has allowed me to just barely purchase clothing in-person instead of online so being thin is an experience I haven’t personally had, but if I could keep my fat body while being socially accepted and respected like a thin person, I’d have half of my worries and fears immediately disappear.
Big facts that's why loving yourself isn't just a bs phrase to throw around
I'm in the same situation, everyone tells me I need to eat more and my parents call me "sick" and "anorexic Anna". It hurts, no matter if im fat or skinny I still get mocked no matter what.
💯 there's no winning
I grew up very skinny , but when I gained a lot of weight during a depressive phase the way I was treated changed DRASTICALLY , it was a horrible shock . Now I've lost weight again , I get treated better again 😔 as a woman you cannot win. Now I'm terrified to gain weight because I don't want to go back to how I was treated for it.
There have been multiple studies showing that for women , even being a bit chubby makes you less likely to be hired or get promotions at work. They also found that overall for men their weight didn't really affect their professional careers.
Can you give references to this study because I’m sorry that really doesn’t sound right, I’ve never heard specifically a skinny girl would be hired over a far girl, like where was this when I was getting denied from like 3 group interviews because the fat girls got the job and I didn’t, I’d believe you if I had some proof but genuinely it sounds stupid, it’s illegal to discriminate like that so your implying most employers are doing an illegal, sounds like a big conviction
@@Emilyprowell Just because something is illegal doesn't mean employers don't do it... poc can tell you this flat out. Also, they said "less likely" not that your experience will be exactly that. It's a correlation, not a definite. Apples tend to be red, not every apple will be. (I can't prove what OP said is true, I'm commenting on the logic used in response).
Same. I was always told that I was "too skinny" and that I "need to eat more" growing up. I put on a few pounds from medication (not overweight just not thin) and I kept getting picked on by family. I lost the weight and was wrongly accused of starving myself. That or told "you look so good, not so fat anymore!" Yeah, can't win.
Thats why im happy as a man. Doesnt matter Big/skinny/muscular/chubby i get threated like i dont exist and women will cross the street if they see me walking behind them. Feels fucking good. Not but seriously though i dont care anymore. And neither should you.
@@Em_Elizabeth czcams.com/video/az9ERqj9qW4/video.html
In this society u can never please anyone. If you’re fat you get told “go eat salad” if you’re skinny you get told “eat a cheeseburger” if you’re dark you get told “use skin whiteners” if you’re pale you get told “use tanning oil”. so my advice is to just love yourself for who you are because your self worth is not found in other people or your outward appearance
Edit: 666 LIKES 😳😳🥹thank u
I was in a conversation the other day with a girl who is thin. She would go on and on about not respecting fat people because they don’t try to change themselves, live an unhealthy lifestyle etc etc. Then, 2 minutes later she said that she finds it funny when she sees a fat person eating a salad. It’s like you can’t win in this society. I was so embarrassed that i was even talking to her and disappointed that that’s what a 20 year old girl in 2023 thinks.
@@Ella-is4pl in my country, a fitness coach secretly filmed a fat woman doing excercises in the fitness room, posted the video on his Insta page and mocked her appearance. Fortunately, he received a negative backlash and was fired but you don't know how it's common thing in my country. People not also fat shame you but they also expect you to dissapear from society and pretend you don't exist. Only beautiful superfit models can visit fitness clubs, I guess /sark
@@peachesandcream22 That is horrible...I am sorry for people who have to experience this. It's like fat people need to disappear and live in a closet until they lose weight? That is ridiculous..
What country is that? If you don't mind me asking...
@@Ella-is4pl yesss i’ve experienced this whenever i’d eat salads ppl would make fun of me and say things like “she’s only doing that so ppl give her attention” or “secretly she eats cheeseburgers all night long” and it makes no sense. when you try to get healthier, ppl judge u. when u do nothing, ppl judge u.
There was something similar I saw to this on FB and it was like:
You buy your first car, it's not the right brand
You buy a house, it's in the wrong area
You get a partner, they're not good enough
No matter what you do and what milestones you hit there will always be someone trying to rain on your parade.
Moral of the story is that your success shouldn't be measured by other people's standards. I think we should apply that thought process to everything. We judge all the time, it's natural, but we can also keep that nastiness to ourselves too.
What made me sad one day was when a fat lady sat by me in a public transport and she apologized , I was just broken, like why are you apologizing, I'm not pressed like you're just sitting by me. I'm thin, you're fat, we're humans using a bus. I'm sure people had been complaining so she was used to apologies
If she’s taking up part of your seat she should apologize. She’s taking up space you’ve paid for. Now you can still smile and say “no worries” but she’s still in your space because of her life decisions
@@antilikka makes sense
@@antilikka JUST A REMINDER- being FAT is not determined only by someones own personal life DECISIONS. yeah, nah. THAT IS JUST BULLSHIT.
for someone who apologised to you, when they sat next to you. its impossible to imagine them sitting at home and eating icecream and not giving a care to the world.
it is EXTREMELY rude to say that fat people BASICALLY BROUGHT THAT TO THEMSELVES ON THEIR OWWN. its not true.
SHIT HAPPEN to people alright.
JUST LIKE you wouldn't go up to a skinny underweight person and say, the should apologise, they became like that because of their LiFe DecIsIoNs.
fukin bulshit!
@@tracybannerman5666 nope, that doesn't make sense.
you can say, no worries without holding predjudice in your heart and blaming them for being fat because its their fault, Therefore in your eyes, THEY MUST APOLOGISE TO YOU! BECAUSE ITS YOUR SIT. how dare they take my spaceee!!!! yeah nah.
they apologised for taking up your space. say, its all good no worries. Its not A FAT PERSONS DUTY to apologise to thin people like they are beneath you! she knows that she made you uncomfortable. as a fat person sitting next to you, she probably thought that she is soooo big, she is sqeezing the shit outter you! and she apologised. cause she felt guilty becasue of her size, becasue of her body, imagine having to do that literally evreytime you board a bus. she probably hates it, but you dont know whats going on in their life, so she has no choice.she probably doesnt want to be their, would you want to be their?
now, what gives thin people the audacity to judge a fat person, and BLAME THEM FOR THE FATNESS SAYING, well they brought that to themselves its their own fault. they shouldnt board busses, they make people like US uncomfortable. BUllshit!
there are thousands of reasons why peopple get fat! stop having predjudice and assuming shit for fucks sake.
that advice was shit!
She had common sense to apologize.
She was probably 3 times bigger than you. If an enormous man sat by you in public WOULDNT YOU WANT him to be like hey, sorry. THIS IS WHAT BEING A HUMAN IS. you literally don’t have A BRAIN lol
If a skinny person doesn't eat, it's worrying. If a fat person doesn't eat, it's 'making healthy choices'. Skinny shaming IS real, but I see fat shaming to be so much worse.
EVERYBODY makes remarks about my body, or my shape, and I cannot express myself through clothes because of my chest and thighs. It's gotten to the point where I cannot physically eat around people in fear of judgement. I can't go outside, can't make friends, can't have crushes, all because of these limits I've fixed on myself due to my body weight. Stay safe out there people, clothes are made to fit YOU, not vice versa !
I starved myself long enough to lose 100lbs and not once was anyone concerned with me skipping meals and frequently avoiding food overall (they just didn't ever seem to notice). It wasn't until I started to look good and become smaller that they suddenly were concerned about if I was eating or not. I'd have people get MAD at me for avoiding snacks, sugary foods, etc. or if they even THOUGHT I was skipping a meal. Before I got down to the weight people started caring, I had so many people saying, "Whatever you're doing, keep it up!" and the like.
The limits are set by yourself and not others (unless it's physics ofc). There are so many nice clothes for big women online. If you are ashamed of yourself, other ppl will treat you worse. Not because you are fat but because you act as if you dislike yourself. You can look nice and sexy and cute even if you are big.
Been there, seen that, felt that. Was annoyed by myself and learnt to love myself. Ppl started treating me better and now I have lost weight for health reasons.
The difference between thin shaming and fat shaming is "you should eat a cheeseburger" versus "you are disgusting and unworthy of basic decency".
Where? When? 💀💀💀
@@BoneheadGirl_ everywhere, always
Nah, think about "your man won't get any meat in your body, you're just bones."
Thin shaming is more on the "having people you barely know report you to teachers because they think you have an ED for existing"
@@veravanriet2761 While I understand that is your experience and is absolutely difficult, it is uncommon. While thin shaming is absolutely not okay, it simply isn't something every thin person has to face, and in fact many people who do have eating disorders will be praised for their bodies (which is a different problematic issue). I can almost guarantee that every overweight person has been fat shamed, and lots of normal sized bodies are also fat shamed, with the basis of fat in any way being viewed as unacceptable. No matter which way you look at it, thin privilege does exist and it's not because it's healthy.
Thin privilige is totally real. I saw fat kids getting bullied all my life and i was deadly scared of getting fat so i did diets and when i was almost underweight i got so many compliments and now im normal weight and dont get compliments. Im trying to be skinnier again, because i want people to like me more and also i want to look good in outfits.
I also want to lose weight and I'm considered skinny where I'm from,I just wanted to say don't over do it because being healthy is all that matters
Naw girl 🥺 just be yourself, and by that I mean be at a weight that makes you feel healthy with yourself and with food, where you're feeling happy and fullfiled, not pressured; don't change for others, for their hypocritical judgements and never-ending standards...there will always be people who like us, so as there will always be people who don't, but there is only one person that matters: yourself
@Ana Oni Mousz Well, as long it's not unweight or overweight, it's fine.
@@mslennyface Honestly, being a bit overweight is fine, you won't get diabetes or necessarily suddenly be "unhealthy" if you're 3, 5 or even 10 kg above that ridiculous measurement, the BMI (in the same sense as there are people that are in that so called "normal weight" and eat so badly that there is no way their veins aren't clogged) 😅 anyways, we shouldn't judge someone's health by their appearance...so, as long as you're well mentally and physically, just be at a weight where you're happy and not restricting yourself from enjoying life 💁♀
@@anaonimousz8167 what about nickavcaode or whatever his name is?
Beauty standards are just crazy. My mom grew up in Cuba and moved to Spain in the early 2000s. She is naturally very thin and in Cuba, where beauty standards were/are towards curvy bodies, she always felt unnatractive and too thin to be really healthy. When she moved to Spain, however, she was suddenly the beauty type and was complemented often about her weight. She used to make the joke that a plane is all it took to transition from an "ugly duckling" into a swan
the part about medical health is so true..i remember when i was a kid my bmi was in the heavier regions of normal but my physician acted as if i were severely obese and told me that “girls should be skinnier.” have not wanted to go to a doctor since
I’m sorry about that. That much weight shouldn’t be put on a girls shoulder 😢
I went to the doctor some month ago and they checked my height and weight. The nurse was exceptionally happy about the numbers and mentioned it several times. At that time my anxiety and depression skyrocketed and I was clearly underweight… it’s crazy (and dangerous!) when medicine and beauty standards intertwine.
The same happened to me but with physical education teachers...my bmi was in the same category but I remember one teacher telling me she was "worried about my health" because even if the scale showed I wasn't overweight I looked like I was :/
I’m sorry to hear that. However I don’t think doctors should stop stressing out how weight influences your health. They are primarily here to care about your physical well being which factually gets worse with more weight. It’s just not ok to hear it in a rude manner.
Doctors need to be more tactful but if they don't tell over weight patients that they need to loose weight then they aren't doing their jobs.
@@sarcodonblue2876 that is true but in my case i wasn't even overweight..
I’ve been thin and shamed but the shaming I endured while being overweight has made me want to not be alive and drove me to the point of ED at 12 just to be or stay thin. I’m now 30… the way I’m treated while thin vs when I’m fat (I have hormone health issues that cause me to gain fat very quickly; hypothyroidism, ovarian cyst, uterine fibroid) is drastically different. Even as a server, I made more money when I was thin. The more weight you gain, the worse they world is to you.
Honestly, you can never win. I went from being chubby, and being told how disgusting it was and how I have to lose weight, and then I lost weight and I'm 40kg and now I'm constantly told that I'm too skinny, and I have the body of a child, and "just eat something! Do you have a problem?"
It was same for me. I was told in my childhood: you are OvErWeIgHt then I lost weight then I was literally attacked by my parents that I became AnOrExIc. Just stfu and let me be.
40kg? Wow! I can't really imagine this.
I'm sorry in advance, I'm nobody to judge your case but considering you are a young adult/adult, 40kg is actually kind of low. In the end its your life, do whatever pleases you but please consider your body's requirements. Thank you for your time.
@bluffgg I'm 5'1 so yeah I'm skinny, but I'm not underweight.
@@Faith-ix2ef 👍🏻 Thank you for the insight
I'm skinny, but I haven't noticed any kind of thin privilege because of how closely related it is to pretty privilege. I'm at a low weight, but I'm not considered physically attractive, so it kind of cancels each other out. All I get are comments about how flat I am 🙃
Same with the flat part. It is an odyssey shopping bras, the majority, even in my size don't fit me. The cope is always empty.
I fit into training bras for tween girls lol so I know the feeling. Target carries some great a cup sizes that are wireless though and they even give a little push-up illusion! They are also affordable like $13 each
@@anastasiya8314 thanks for the tip, but I do not live in USA. But thanks :3
you still have thin privilege though, you just don’t see it because you’ve never had it taken away from you. if you go to a doctor today and tell them you have symptoms of a heart condition or neurological condition you will be addressed more seriously and with more concern than if you were fat. if you were fat the odds of them taking you seriously at all drops by a lot. they will tell you that the problem is your weight. and this is just one example. thin privilege is more than pretty privilege and if you’re thin, you have thin privilege.
@@user-br1ir8vz1n I'm underweight. I assure you that people will tell sh+t like: Oh, I wish I had your body. And I'm like: No, you don't. I'm unable of gain weight, to donor blood. People do not take me seriously when the weight topic is on. Is like: just eat more.
I know that is a privilege, but not a walk by the roses either. People need to stop romanticizing underweight and confusing underweight with equilibrium or anything. And if I go to the doctor is the same sh+t ''You need to gain weight first''. And they got a point, but is not easy. And no, I'm not lucky.
Society is f+cked up for everyone.
And cannot tell you all the fucking jokes for not having boobs or the problem of hating myself for all of this. Thinking there was something bad in me. My aunt basically made me swallow milkshake after milkshake, holding my chin completely obligated.
“Looks and trends come and go, but confidence is always in style”
Wise words zoe
Everyone of every size can be body shamed, and it sucks. Fat shaming is dehumanizing in a different way though, people treat you like you don’t exist and are annoyed when you make your presence known. It’s hard to understand a privilege that you’ve had all your life until you suddenly lose it and everyone is openly horrible to you. Coming from a formerly skinny child and now overweight adult 😢
Fat shaming doesn't = skinny "privilege"
As a practicing doctor I'm just thinking how to communicate regarding weight issues better. Like obesity is a health issue and i usually try to discuss it as part of a regular health visit. Instead of saying you're fat I just try to ask them if they've felt their weight to be an issue and how we can work on reducing it healthily. But if an obese person says I have no issues with my weight, I can't just feed into that. Morbid obesity IS a health problem
Maybe only ask about drastic weight changes. I have PCOS that was caught early because of a drastic weight gain, and an eating disorder that wasn't until I was ready to get help, even though I rapidly lost 40 pounds and was in the lower half of the so-called "healthy" BMI range as a woman with PCOS. Also, mostly I've had issues with doctors who counsel their patients on weight instead of treating their issues, as if the patients gained weight in a vacuum. Treat issues first, and if that helps them live healthier and lose the weight again, that is great. Honestly, if weight gain is due to lifestyle, then the only one who can help them is themself, possibly in conjunction with a therapist. Everyone knows that being obese can be correlated with negative health consequences, you are not going to surprise anyone with that information enough to have them losing weight just by reminding them of the health problems. And if a patient comes to you wanting to lose weight, feel free to give them advice on that. No matter if your patient is over- or underweight, using language that emphasizes feeling good and strong and healthy is going to be much more likely to help than telling them they don't fit into a standard.
I am currently a little overweight, thanks to trying to recover from my eating disorder. I still exercise at least 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day, and focus on eating a varied and nutritious diet. If my doctor were to assume that I was just being lazy and gluttonous (mine wouldn't, she helped me so much when I was ready to get help), that would be incorrect and hurtful, and could possibly trigger me to start over exercising and restricting again.
@@jessicaharrison4719 sry but out of experience i have to correct you. patients do not really know the consequences of their weight. maybe they know they are for a higher risk of diabetes and heart disease and maybe they know that their joints are under extreme stress. but thats not all. so many things are harder to detect when your obese (for exemple breast cancer) lung diseases get way trickier because the adipos tissue compresses the lungs making is hard to breath, wounds heal worse making you prone to infection etc etc i could go an forever. therefore no: we can‘t stop talking about the weight because if we did we would fail you as doctors. it has to be brought up - of course respectful but it has
and talking about it and listening can change people in their decision making. for example i have some cancer patients that i had deep conversations with about lifestyle changes (they had heard what i said a thousand times before and didnt give a shit) but we sat down and wie took the time to really talk about it. they did make some change. they lost weight, they stopped smoking etc. all this bettering their outcome (also the outcome of surgery)
It is not in vain but it is uncomfortable. for me and the patient but i still have to try.
I get where you're coming from. I'm a psychologist and was severely obese. You should not sugarcoat your worries but also see the whole picture. It frustrated me immensely that I was treated as a big obese blob by my doctors and not as a human with obesity. Not everything was caused by my weight and having a doctor acknowledged that would have helped immensely. What I found the most helpful to lose weight was a transparent doctor that did not judge but went through all the treatment options and possible health risks with me. If someone truly isn't open to receive this information you have to accept it. They will come back to you once they are ready.
lemme tell you a funny thing. i can have a COLD. you know nose blocked sneezing all that, and i go to the doctor and its my WEIGHT. they know how to turn the conversation into my weight so smoothly. no wonder i avoid hospitalss.im actuallly sick rn. i have COLD. and no i'd rather die thank you very much. im okay, i KNOW im fat. and im pushing my self slowly and slowly to exercise and now i HATE food so i guess thats a 'good' thing. eitherway. yeah. ill wait untill im not fat anymoree to go to the doctors. i mean i hear enough at my own home of how ill die of diabetes and that no one will take of me once i get so fat that i'll be on a wheelchair.
maybe the doctors think that i forget about my body, maybe they think that we dont have mirrors.
i know they are very concerned about me though. so i'll just stay at home first, then the day i loose weight, lets hope it wont be too late for me . haha so funny. anyways bye
@@laurawallner639 you know. fat peopel n e ver get told all that you've just said. so how are we supposed to know if you don't tell us that. yeah cause yes your are right. but you also withhold that information from us, soo i mean alright.
no one talks about how hurtful it is to have people assume you have an ED and base all your worth around your body. As a child everyone would just gush about how skinny i was (i was underweight because i didnt like eating). I broke down as soon as i felt like i was gaining weight. Keep in mind i was 9. Now that i've put off a few kilos, everyone thinks i have an eating disorder. I'll admit i don't have the healthiest relationship with food, but people insisting that I "don't eat" when I do is so infuriating. Imagine having to convince people that you eat, it's surreal. What's even worse is the people talking about me behind my back, expressing "concern" about my eating habits and theorizing about my nonexistent ED. As someone who came very close to developing one, it's so invalidating.
Not to invalidate but to simply chime in, imagine having an ED and nobody believes you bc you’re still fat and then once your body starts to get unhealthy, they praise you for living a “healthy” lifestyle, aka having an ED. There’s even a diagnosis to specify fat patients and thin patients with EDs. “Atypical anorexia” just means that the patient is too fat for the anorexia to be obvious.
And the rate at which eating disorders are literally encouraged in fat folks…disgusting.
i’m sorry for that, but imagine growing up your whole life with people telling you NOT to eat. when you are overweight people think you deserve to starve. when you are thinner people feel concern for you. growing up fat made me ACTUALLY develop an eating disorder from how cruel everyone is. now that i’m skinny tho everyone loves me (but i’m still left with body dysmorphia and disordered eating). it’s a lot more cruel to have to handle being told you don’t deserve to eat and live, rather than have people worried that you aren’t eating enough. count ur blessings, because considering your life time of avoiding food, it makes sense that people are concerned about your eating habits.
@@ellaizcool well said. Idk why it’s not obvious that thin privilege is very real but like any other privilege that exists, it’s super easy to not see it until you no longer have access to it.
Another thing that has always bothered me is that it’s very commonplace for ED communities to degrade fat people through photos and footage that help fuel their disorders. I seriously cannot think of a more violent concept than self-harming using someone’s innocent media to avoid looking like that person no matter what.
@@ellaizcool Im sorry that happened to you too. Our perspectives are truly sides of the same coin. Beauty standards have society in a chokehold. In both our situations, people have felt entitled to comment on our bodies and base our worth around them. The grass isn't greener on the other side, each side has its own downfalls. The "concern" feigned for skinny people is usually just gossip masked as good will. The people INSISTING I have an ed barely know me, and just assume so because of how i look??? its so weird and unwarranted. As an underweight person, I also struggle with severe body dysmorphia, and I know how terrible it can get. Fatphobia and the very skinny beauty standard hurt EVERYONE. I believe overweight people are disproportionally affected, but that doesn't mean average and underweight people arent severely affected as well. This just goes to show that self worth should come from within, society does everything to tear you down.
Ps. if that's u in ur pfp then you are literally gorgeous i can see why everyone loves u 😭
I had the same experience. I was a very skinny child. Older kids would make me take off my clothes, call me a disgusting and make fun of me. Eventually, I started doing professional skating and gained a bunch of muscle mass. When I quit skating, I obviously lost my muscles and with them most of my weight. My mom became convinced I had developed an ED and not even my therapist could convince her otherwise. On the other hand, my brother is fat and he probably has an ED. When he told my mom he most likely has an ED and would like to see a therapist, she made fun of him. I feel like people in general have no idea how EDs work. They have this misconception that ED = anorexia = very skinny, when that's simply not the whole picture. People of all body types can have EDs. Anorexia isn't the only ED.
I’ve been obese for almost all my life. I finally lost over 100lbs and let me tell you: thin privilege is a thing. I am amazed at how different life is now and how much better people treat me. And it’s not because I’m more confident or things like that. People just assume the worst about you when you are fat.
I want from being underweight to overweight and there's a huge difference in the way people treat you
This is first hand experience
Growing up, I would hear my grandparents talk about my female cousins' bodies. I have one cousin who is 5'10" and really really thin. I remember my grandma talking about how beautiful she was. I have another cousin who has thick thighs and a bit of a rounder face (like me) who my grandma body shamed. My grandparents put all of their grand daughters' worth on their weight and their beauty. I've been trying to heal myself, and I've realized that beauty is objective and your worth isn't determined by the way your body looks, even though that is a hard mindset to keep.
I’m 5’9 and went to my OBGYN a few months after having my baby and was 117. I relapsed into my Ed. They said nothing. But a bigger person will have all of their health problems blamed on weight. I was seen as healthy when I wasn’t bc I was thin. That’s all the proof I needed if thin privilege
I had a very similar experience after i had my son, no doctor ever took how underweight i was seriously, while if i was very overweight they would absolutely have mentioned it
I was about 13. Wasn't skinny nor fat, just a bit plump. I had a male doctor in his 60s slap my naked thigh (after checking a mole) and telling me I needed to lose weight. I will never forget that.
It's just straight up disguisting.... I'm so sry for what happened to you .....
I had exactly the same experience! I was 18 and knee problem after ski accident. The doctor grabbed my hip flesh and said:" your knee won't be ok if you keep that on you!"
I was an average weight!
I will never forget that.
Gained the freshman 15 in college (basically went from around 110-128 lbs (not even close to fat-- a healthy weight) and my doctor goes "wow yeah you definitely gained a LOT" when I already was rly concerned about my weight. like damn thanks a lot like I'm TRYING but it's hard asf in college to eat well. And the fact that a doctor said this to a person at an already healthy weight... I can't imagine what it's like for people who are actually overweight/obese to go to the doctor and have them be criticized. :/
If you gained that weight in a short period of time, it’s actually a valid health control because rapid unintended weight gain (or loss) can be a symptom of other medical issues, even if it’s in a healthy range. But it definitely is an awful feeling, especially if you’re already feeling insecure and then have to hear it from someone else right to your face (I know that feeling tooooo well). Doctors could absolutely use more tact, but also it really is a valid health concern so having them stop addressing weight isn’t a good solution.
@@cherry-insomnia9188 that is true. and yeah I kinda just plateaued around there and actually lost about 10 lbs since. Now I think I'm hovering around 120 and I go to the gym pretty much every day and eat kinda whatever tf I want still (working on eating healthier but in college it's extremely hard to do that lol i've just added exercise and less food-- not necessarily more nutritional food but less of it/more movement)
So the docter shouldn't do their job and be concerned about sudden weight gain??
@@kaarinaMoongo it's not "sudden weight gain" it was over a year. it would be bad if i gained 15 lbs in like 2 months-- that would be more sudden. But ya it was over a period of a year and I was a freshman in college... not very hard to see that and immediately go "oh ya ur in college that makes sense" but either way im at a healthy weight now for my height 5'3. Fluctuates between like 118-125 now :)
@@kaitlyng7850 i think just because it makes sense it doesn't change the doctors pov when it comes to seeing fluctuations in your body and general health. I get you, but at the same time I've been to America and went through the freshman 15 phase in a short period of time - than lost a bunch of weight. It is common over there and perhaps something culturally acceptable, but coming from somewhere else, it isn't exactly a normal and healthy experience to go through. Just sharing to give a different perspective, though.
Commenting on my “thin privilege” is weird because I’ve never considered myself “thin” because of body dysmorphia and the way I see my body. I always knew someone who was thinner and skinner and healthier than me. However, it’s infuriating that when I was at my thinnest (and also experiencing an eating disorder and showing really restrictive eating behaviors) NO ONE was concerned for my health. And there were a lot of things to be concerned about, but since I was thin, no one said anything. I was never taken to a doctor for any of these unhealthy eating patterns, and a big part of it is because ED behavior is the same as diet behavior. No one bats an eye when you lose the weight, but everyone has something to say when you gain weight. I hate that.
I went from being “fat” to “normal” twice I’m my life and “fortunately” the only “privilege” I got is that I finally don’t get mean comments on my appearance or food choices. The bullying I got when I was younger though scarred me forever.
I was incredibly skinny but "curvy" as a teen. You could count my ribs, but still had an hourglass figure and the amount of grown men that would hit on underwheight me was scary. I gained wheight in my 20s and went up two clothing sizes and feel so much more comfortable without being hit on or reduced to my body. The difference in how men treat me is wild, but I am so much more comfy being midsize
Oof, so sorry to hear this girl! Isn't it aggravating how, no matter which size you are, there are so many men out there whose treatment of you is based on their "would" metric? 🤮🤮🤮
@@LadyMontane And no matter the age!! I was 12 when adult men (often in their 30s and 40s) started harrassing me
This is a far more complex topic than most internet discussions acknowledge. Thank you for taking a closer look at the nuances!
Honestly... i feel that "regular sized" people have the mist priviledge. I've been both really skinny and a bit overweight. I constantly got comments when I was skinny about how I ate, and that "You can't eat that if you want to stay skinny", and comparing my body to the bodies of other people, or telling me that I'm not the right shape to be a model. I was also so self-concious when I was skinny - I leterally felt more naked than I do now. The worst I've ever gotten while being a bit overweight was my sister wondering if I'm pregnant again, in which case I myself thought that I looked pregnant, and said that my stomach muscles just didn't recover well after pregnancy (which is 100%teue). HOWEVER, when being normal weight NOBODY comment on it...! What a relief! No one is wondering how I eat or what I eat, and doesn't compare me to someone else. That's what I would call "privilege"!
Honestly, someone will always feel like they have a right to comment on how you look and that’s some bullshit. It’s so hard to overcome low self esteem and a negative body image. Know this though: regardless of your weight, height, facial structure, hair type, body shape, mental health, quirks and so called “imperfections” YOU ARE WORTHY OF KINDNESS AND LOVE ESPECIALLY FROM YOURSELF💖 Please focus on your happiness, focus on your health, and focus on empowering and uplifting others. Amazing video as always Zoe!!!♥️♥️
I'm not thin anymore, but I wanna address this because i saw this in the comments on a few of your videos:
Why do people think thinner people are "promoting EDs" by simply existing? They do this to heavier people too. I actually try not to show my full body on social media because I don't want people commenting about it on either end of the spectrum. My image of myself has improved over the years because of it.
This is so real!! Nobody's body is promoting anything unless they're wearing clothes that specifically promote something. Skinny people existing does not promote EDs regardless of whether or not you think they look healthy, and fat people existing does not promote an unhealthy lifestyle regardless of whether or not you think they look healthy. It's upsetting that people who are positive in one direction often can't see the other side despite being so close to getting it.
@@ruiqi22 right!! And having been on both sides (I've lost some inches on my waist in the last 3 years because homelessness kept me active), it makes it very difficult for me to want to brag about my progress because I don't need to see people saying "oh no you're too skinny again what happened" when it literally took me almost dying to start taking care of my health again
@@HighAsHeckPriestess Oh, man. I’m glad you’re doing better 🫂 It’s hard to not feel comfortable sharing important milestones with other people, but it is super amazing that you were able to recover from homelessness and nearly dying. Cheers to your future!
Yes!! Before I had my son I was very thin regardless of what I ate or did.
The difference in social currency is real and I’ve experienced it; it’s subtle, but as someone neurodivergent it seems like people are less put off by my quirky behavior when I’m slim. I didn’t experience an impact outside of social situations or random attention from stranger (clothes never fit that well because I’m tall and have a larger chest) but it definitely exists.
However, lumping in stuff like “never been told my BMI is too high for a medical procedure” and “doctors blaming everything on fat” is dangerous. That’s not thin privilege, that’s not weight stigma, that’s a massively increased risk of death under anaesthesia. Fat alone can also lead to chronic low-grade inflammation and cause issues, or exacerbate minor issues to the point they become major. I have permanent physical damage from the time I spent obese. Doctors NEED to treat fat people (and women) with more respect but the medical impacts are real and feeling shamed doesn’t mean ignoring the actual dangers is the answer. Some trans men who are told they need to lose weight before top surgery have asserted that it’s because of fatphobia, but it’s because anaesthesia for patients above a certain BMI leads to procedural and post-operative risks like lung collapse, hypoxemia, nerve injuries, and myocardial infarction. These risks are negligible at a lower weight because a lot of the problems stem from the physical weight of fat pressing down on the throat and chest.
Conversations about fatphobia and weight stigma are way too un-nuanced; either it’s jerks saying it doesn’t exist and fat people just suck or people claiming every single fat-related issue imaginable can be solely attributed to weight stigma. There HAS to be a middle ground around changing attitudes and social stigma while also not denying some of the real risks and impacts of being fat.
This is so true. A lot of us already acknowledged that both thin and fat body get mistreated by society and we respect people on both ends. Now we should talk more about doctors HAVE TO estimate our weight because it can affect our health so much, and as you said, if a procedure is needed, weight can cause an increased chance of.. Death. Though of course it should be put politely.
Let's normalize health-related weight talk at a doctor and not equalize that to physical appeal comments
I've always had an interest in weightlifting and have always found muscular women so attractive! I have been a tiny little lady my whole life, and when I told people I wanted to go to the gym I was constantly met with "Why? You're already thin." This put me off from going to the gym for a long time because I was hit with this poisonous jealousy around my body.
Her content>>>>>>>other peoples content
Maybe this is just my opinion, I like Zoe but i think that she tends to hyper focus on her body too much. 95% of her videos now are just about her body, idk if this really healthy. She really lost me on her content when she made that video about why Asians were so skinny. As an Asian idk why there needed to be a whole video on it, it’s obvious that it’s social pressure plus transportation as 90% of it.
no matter what someone looks like commenting on their body in a negative light is just a shitty thing to do like they did not chose how they look like (for the most part)
I’ve always been quite slim naturally and people would call me names/call me out for it. It resulted in me feeling guilty for being skinny compared to other people. Not only that, I constantly overeat when I eat in public to prove people that I eat enough (to the point where I feel sick constantly and eating in general becomes a chore, because I always think I don’t eat enough as result of people telling me [angrily] I don’t eat enough) and I am ashamed of working out because if you work out as a skinny person you must be crazy, sick, selfish or have an ed of cause.
I know, this is highly subjective and probably nothing compared to people who are struggling with their weight but these can be some of the consequences of how a society (with a structural overweight problem) treats skinny people.
There are no simple answers to complex questions and a lot of things really depends on the person and their sensitivity and patterns towards things. Everything has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
That sucks. It sounds similar to my experiences with trying to eat healthy and adding in some exercise. I got ridiculed when I ate salads and exercised by family because "you're such a faker, no way you actually do this because you're so fat"
Ditto on the guilty feeling. People around me would blame me for making them feel insecure and get mad at me when I have nothing to do with their own insecurities. Like I’m just existing and now I have to cover up my body to make you happy? And those kinda of people judge literally anything you do or don’t eat around them there’s always some snarky comment it
I am a very skinny girl. Yet I have never experienced thinn privilege at all. Skinny privilege is closely related to pretty privilege that means that if you don't fit the overall beauty standard it cancels out being skinny. Instead, i'm constantly being called a walking stick, or being told I should eat more. The funny thing about it is that I eat alot, like alot alot. In also very flat and not curvy, just because your skinny doesn't mean your the perfect ideal body type. I also do have problems with things fitting me as well. pants, bracelets, rings shoes ect. Pants either fit me around the waist but are too short for my legs because i'm skinny and have long legs, or are too big around my waist and are the perfect length. I have a very small shoe size so I cant find much shoes that I like that are my size. People assume alot about me from my appearance, and it doesn't really get to me, it never really does. Its just annoying. All in all, I don't believe in skinny privilege, I believe in pretty privilege its just that being skinny is "prettier" and is essential to being "pretty". But all in all even if your skinny, if your not pretty in every other way, it doesn't matter
@sewer~rat i mean not really. Have you ever seen a skinny girl that you didn't think was necessarily beautiful? Just because your skinny doesn't make you beautiful and just because you are fat doesn't make you ugly at all. Body size is just a little portion of beauty standards and even then, skinny isn't even the preferred body shape either, curvy is. So is you are flat in certain places where you are supposed to have curve, being skinny still isn't good enough. So please take some time to think about it.
i feel like there’s a line between using your body as an accessory and just wearing what looks good on you. chronically online people miss that line by miles sometimes
It’s definitely an interested discussion. There’s a fine line between “fat phobic” and “your weight is a danger to yourself”. A lot of “fat phobic” things are actually for health reasons. A good example is seats in roller coasters having a weight limit, or surgery being more risky for bigger people. In these instances, it’s not pretty privilege it’s just, these are death risks.
There IS pretty privilege when it comes to fashion for sure:
- Bigger people are shamed for wearing things that show skin for example
- bikinis and bathing suits for sure
Food comments affect both skinny and fat people. People preach girls for being skinny even if they’re unhealthily starving themselves. People shame bigger people even if they eat well and genuinely are just bigger naturally.
LISTEN:: body shaming for ANYONE hurts, but i ask that all skinny people consider the fact that skinny shaming tends to come from a place of jealousy or concern, where fat shaming comes from a place of thinking you are disgusting and don’t deserve to live. there is a big difference between people saying “have you been eating enough” and “you need to stop eating”. skinny shaming has NO systematic issues, and most of the people saying the shameful comments don’t mean any true harm because they view skinniness as positive.
i grew up on the low side of fat my whole life, i was around a size 14/16 (but since i’m 5’10 i just seem bigger than others), and it was awful. i was bullied endlessly by friends, family, strangers, and more. i was compared to shrek, told to not eat, asked if i was pregnant when i was SIX YEARS OLD!!! and the entire 18 years of that made me feel totally unloveable. i developed an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, and i ended up losing over 60 pounds. i’m 22 now and i’ve been at an average/thin weight for a few years, and the mental damage is still the same: i constantly see myself as fat and disgusting even tho NOW people at restaurants give me free food and drinks, everyone is so sweet and compliments me constantly, and i can find cute clothes anywhere. when people who haven’t seen me in years see me again they always mention how skinny i am and how much weight i’ve lost and it’s even more triggering because it reinforces that i’m fat and ugly in everyone’s memory of me lmao.
just stop talking about peoples bodies, but also stop trying to claim that skinny shaming is just as bad, because it is not. i’d rather be told i need to eat a cheeseburger than told to starve myself like i was throughout my childhood.
I am right in the middle of losing weight and I can say that people definitely treat you differently. The amount of praise I've received so far is interesting. Could be because people know that losing weight is not that easy and takes discipline, but I feel like I've become more *visible* which is strange.
This is such a vibe 😮💨 I’ve been making some lifestyle changes bc of health problems + since losing a bit of weight, people seem to notice my existence more than before :/ I’ve always been a bit chubby + I remember always feeling a little bit invisible
you’re not crazy, i’ve seen many people who’ve lost or gained a decent amount of weight say that when they were bigger eyes would glide right over them. then they lost weight and people actually looked at them. held the door, complimented them, etc.
Pain is Pain, and pain cannot be measured or compared with one another
Love your videos smm
I agree. Kinda. It’s little more than pain when it affects the health care you receive and the job opportunities and stuff. It’s not “eat a burger” vs. “your fat” or how much the fashion industry is mostly made for thinner bodies. People in the comments who’ve been on both ends explain it a lot better than me 😊
@@nastyaaa6993
yeah i've been thru both and altough i've hated my body both skinny and "fat" (normal weight but the fattest in my class so i got fat shamed alot) i have to say that fat shaming is just on another level. skinny shaming comes from people being jealous and being assholes bc of that. when i was chubbier, i could see the disgust in their eyes while looking at me. being the skinny one (but flat af) made me insecure of my body and afraid of wearing certain clothes. being the fat one resulted in an ED and just in general made me want to like cut my fat with a knife (does that even make sense?). both are bad, but personally, fat shaming made me feel like I don't deserve to eat and enjoy eating
Love the video as always. Some girl stopped me on the street to tell me that my little cute dog - a russian toy terrier - looks like a starving rat. I told her that her rudeness is uncalled for and i would also not just walk up to her and tell her she is fat. Because it ain’t my business. Point is. Let people live. And be nice to eachother.
People like that go running their mouth everywhere. Wtf- I'm glad you put her in her place and hopefully more people taught her to stop acting like a child
@@iheartjbgccb one can only wish!
Thin people being put on a societal pedestal definitely makes getting help for eating disorders so much harder! It also encourages people to develop them.
Thank you so much for taking the time of talking about all of this topics, you are helping me a lot in my self love journey Zoe
Thank you for this video! This heroin chic era makes me so insecure even tho I have a normal weight..
Girl rock what you got 💅🏾.
Some people are naturally that skinny they can't gain weight still not nice to call them heroin chic they're just simply existing
@@icarus1998 sorry didn’t want to hurt anyone, I’m very aware of that. Just wanted to mention the “trend” that is going on right now
@@ninas228 Yeah I understand where you coming from no problem
I was very, very skinny as a teenager to the point my school relentlessly accused me of hiding an ED. I got held back on the school coach at P.E so that my P.E teacher could warn me about a girl two years above who's period had stopped because of her anorexia. Two weeks or so later, this same teacher called me out of Maths to go see the school nurse who said "your trousers are hanging off you". When I ran away from home due to family reasons, the school's resolve was to tell my parents to ask for a referral to a nutritionist. This actually made my eating go from fine to abysmally bad, I lived off cereals and sugary foods, but I actually proceeded to eat less foods than I was previously eating. I remember going with my mum to find a dress for a big 16th birthday party crying in the changing rooms because I couldn't fit into women's size clothing like the other girls in my year. I got called "flat chested banshee" "twig" "no t*ts" "child". It was awful. I'm actually overweight for my height now, and although I'm not happy at all, the comments are less directive (if not less harmful), but I'm thankful for my emotional maturity at this point because otherwise it would send me spiralling. Just... goddamnit... can we STOP making remarks on other people's bodies?!
I'm a dancer who does a lot of lifts (stunts that often involve being thrown or lifted). I'm so tired of people saying "Oh well, of course you're good at this because you're skinny. It's easy for you." Ummm. WHAT? So you're going to discount the years of work it took me to gain these skills? The workouts, the training, being in a lot of pain after every practice until my body got stronger? For years? None of that matters apparently. I suppose it's actually easy for me to do what I do. Because I'm thin.
I think the medical fatphobia argument is very valid- I’ve developed a fear of seeking medical attention just because of my weight ever since I was like 13 and my doctor literally gave me pamphlets for an ED support group and sent me off without a word.
BUT in recent years I’ve come to the belief that it’s important for people to get that “obese” diagnosis and be given the steps to lose the weight rather than thinking it’s just their doctor belittling them. I trust that my medical provider has no intent to shame me, but is also willing to tell me to my face that my being severely overweight could kill me in the long run. Like, let’s not practice denying medical facts!
Not trying to undermine anyone’s feelings but as a person who was skinny and is now fat. I would much rather hear the criticisms I used to hear as a skinny person. The things I have to hear as a fat person are so so much hurtful and they have major drawbacks such as not getting jobs.
Hey Zoe, love your content. This one hit home for me. Your vid’s have helped me a lot knowing that I’m not alone.
Thanks for being here, Zoe. You're like a big sister to me 💗
A short story for people who feel ashamed of being too thin or overweight. Throughout my life, I have never been thin or overweight. I have been at my ideal weight, at a healthy weight. However, the negative comments about my body did not stop.
I was always a girl considered with a "hot body", but after the pandemic I ended up gaining weight. When I went back to high school the treatment was totally different and certain people didn't even look in my face in the hallways anymore. Unfortunately, I ended up developing a ED and after losing a lot of weight I'm still trying to recover from it.
Dawg you were NEVER chubby you were NORMAL
Story time : some years ago I went to the doctor because I do sleep apnea. When the doctor asked me my weight and that I said him my bmi was 25 (which is a normal bmi) he looked at me from the top to the bottom and told « don’t take much hum » with a disgusted (I guess?) expression. He was implying I was overweighted and I should louse weight or at least, don’t take a single pound.
My bmi was at 25 !
I’ve always been skinny in the past but since the pandemic I gained weight because of ✨magic of ed✨ (I do hyperphagia) and I was really insecure at this period because of this. I was a f*cking 25 bmi and I experienced fat phobia.
I felt so ashamed after this medical appointment. I don’t want to imagine what fat people experience every time they go to see a doctor
that doctor is super unprofessional for telling you that. im so sorry that you had to deal w him. this type of unprofessionalism and invalidation is precisely why some ppl dread going to see the doctors.
@@tingybong i swear💀 he was so nice and gentle during the whole rest of the consultation, but just this part I still don’t understand
I’m sorry about that doctors comment. It’s insensitive and also clinically simplistic of not wrong. I have sleep apnea. I am not, nor have I been overweight (if anything sometimes I’ve been underweight). Not all cases are related to weight. A persons anatomy can have to do with it or it can have neural origin.
I literally love Zoe's content....I feel like more people especially young girls(and young women) should watch her content
Thin privilege is real , i am 30kg overweight, and people treat me like shit even if i wear new pretty clothes , but girls in my uni who are skinny are treated like princesses
Ps: it's not my fault that i am struggling to lose weight, and i want to lose weight not for people but because the doctor told me it's unhealthy and i know
Im so sorry. Someones worth should never go around what their weight is. If you ever want to talk, im here 💗
Your videos are like free therapy
I was a skinny kid and now as an adult I'm still thin, so I've had skinny privilege all my life. Over the last 5ish years I've gained about 10 pounds which finally put me at what doctors told me all my life was my 'ideal weight'. Now that I'm here (and while getting here) I have struggled so much with my self-perception because on the one hand: I finally have a small chest and can actually fill out shirts (which I never even dreamed of) and people have stopped asking me if I have an ED (namely, an***xia).
On the other hand, I was told all my life that once I was no long stick thin I wouldn't be desirable to men (but I've also been told men don't like sticks and bones so really can't win) and would no longer be attractive, and I also have more of a stomach and I've had to get rid of clothes I've had for years because they don't fit and it's hard! I did even briefly develop an ED when I was younger because I was terrified of gaining weight since my friends (who were bigger than I was) told me I would be ugly if I did. Thankfully, my mom noticed fairly quickly and got me help. But now, I'm just not used to seeing my body this way - even though I know I'm still thin and treated well, to me in my mind's eye I am bigger than I was and therefore am worse off somehow.
So while I recognize that society still views me as thin, I'm still caught up in how I used to look and it's hard to accept that your body changes as you get older. Balancing the negative (ED comments, clothes don't fit right etc) with the positive (people don't stare or move when I'm near them, my size is more likely to be in stock) of being thin is a challenge. I hope this is coming across correctly and I don't want to offend anyone.
I relate to this so much! I was always skinny shamed (even though people thought they were saying nice things), and now when I’m a little bit older I’m starting to gain a bit around my hips and stomach. People still comment on my appearance, and now I even get the “you’re kinda skinny” comment which REALLY messes with my head, and I guess my self perception.
I wish people would just stop commenting on other peoples bodies. Period.
I make no apologies, I like to be slim and I work at it.
Thin privilege exists!! In school, I am overweight, so I am kind of an outsider; I have tried to make friends, but then they called me fat and embarrassed me in front of the whole school. Meanwhile, the other girls in my school who are skinny don't have to worry about that stuff, especially the pretty ones. They get treated nicely by teachers and other students. This video is giving me the drive I need to lose weight. Oh yeah, and literally last month, in a school club, we were gonna skip with skipping ropes, then the instructors said that only the fat people would skip. Having so many eyes on you while skipping is TERRIBLE, especially for me as an introvert.
The queen has uploaded again yessss
i feel like no matter what you do, there will always be people who hate you for who you are
Lol I was constantly shamed by my doctors for being ‘too skinny’ what Zoe says about doctors never commenting on thin peoples diets is totally wrong 😂 I was threatened with a feeding tube if I didn’t pack on some pounds
That part rubbed me the wrong way too. I was literally hospitalized for the "anorexia" I never had. I was never underweight or anywhere close. I just grew up in the deep south in a majority black/Hispanic community where pretty much everyone was obese, so I comparatively looked like I was starving to them even though my body was healthy. I never psychologically got over that needless hospitalization and I still avoid doctors because somehow I have this fear that I will be forced into a facility again against my will, even though I'm an adult now. Nobody talks about the reality that body standards differ VASTLY depending on where you're located. Never in my life have I experienced the "thin ideal", only the exact opposite.
I'm so happy that you're here and support all of us! 💕 Everyone no matter the weight or height or age or anything else is special and should be accepted the way they're. ❤ We are all special and thanks to angels on earth like Zoe, they let us know that! Thank you very much for your work and help you do for us! We love you! 💖
4:45 I totally believe that I gain privilege because of how thin I am, but many thin people such as myself can't find clothes that fit them because of how thin they are. I can never find jeans because my waist is 24 inches. Every piece of clothing is incredibly baggy, and most stores don't carry an abundance of 2xs-xs in clothing. Totally believe in everything ur saying, my life is easier because of my low BMI, but just wanted to point out that they don't stock sizes for us underweight girls either.
I wish we as women would talk about it more and be honest about why we wanna loose weight. Some people do it for their health but to me it seems, it is always about the privileges. I don't know what it is like to be skinny, but to me the privileges of being skinny and the possibility of thin shaming were always better option then being just fat. I love the video, you greatly summarized a complicated topic into a few minutes. I would love to know more about what you think about this.
Zoe, I needed to see this today. Thank you for putting this out there
Fat phobia is a severe problem in society. As well, My experience as an extremely underweight person (because of health issues), people don’t find my weight “good” but rather “too skinny” and “gross”, I never hear the end of it even from strangers, so there is a line and like she said the ideal body is constantly changing
This is a great explaination of how we treat women based upon size. Sometimes it is never good enough, people are going to judge you anyway.
the fact that i was very unhealthy when i was skinny and no on told me a thing but as soon as i started gaining wait everyone started telling me that i am unhealthy not knowing that i was literally a lot healthier than before like wth
and the worst was when i took my dad to a clinic bec HE WAS SICK , NOT ME but the doc started telling me to loose weight because i am very unhealthy
thank you for always making such insightful videos. it really spurs me to reflect on ideas society instils in us that I don't think twice about anymore.
Have never had this (have been jealous of it in the past, thinness). But love that you are digging into it. Your commentary and vids are so thoughtful, had to follow, glad to find you. 💜
In my 20s I was mostly size XS top/ S bottom. Now I am almost 30, have gained some weight and am more of size S/SM. On chart this is not a big change, yet when I look in the mirror it is strange to understand that based on current standards I would be already concidered fat/chubby… And I have forgotten what are body related compliments. So I do feel that for bigger size girls it can be much tougher…
tbh as a skinny person it is hard to find clothes that fit me and im glad brands like handm actaully have xs or xxs
Love this Zoe! Very well done.
this video is so good! I also experienced to be thin and to be chubby and I absolutely know what ur talking about to loss the thin privilege…
Been real skinny my entire life, but not only skinny, underweight due to my metabolism, and this has affected several areas of my life. Making my menstruation irregular, with pain peaks some months, giving me harsh and acute pains at random in certain body parts, anemia, more susceptible to cold and diseases, an incredible difficulty to gain weight and in general insecurity cause of the thinness of my limbs and such. People do view me as attractive though, and sometimes it's almost infuriating how they tell me their desire to have my body when I know the insecurities it brings and health issues as well. I have also gotten the other spectrum of comments though, "do you even eat?", "you're so small, I could win a fight against you any time", "What you're doing is unhealthy" and a large list of etc. Also the body dysmorphia hits hard, sometimes feeling pretty and attractive, others feeling disgusting and breakable.
Point is, neither side is having a good time, so everyone do the world a favor and shut up about others' bodies, the only one you have power upon is your own
i think being and feeling healthy is a privilege that not everyone has, you look and hope you feel great, haters gonna hate, just don’t let them get under your skin x
It's always nice to watch your content !
I have been extremely skinny growing up, then I went to being obese and then to being fit but a little chubby. Skinny shaming is real but so are skinny privileges. And more than all this perception of people, the most significant advantage I found after being skinny is you can literally pick anything off the rack and look good. You don't have to worry about your breasts looking weird or your curves or belly fat not going well with the fit.
Some people will never understand that even if you love yourself to the fullest now and you are happy with a healthy body that being a little overweight, or a little underweight, how easy it is to slip for a second in your old mind set. It takes a second to get back to the time when you were put last in list of pretty girls by boys, when you were called a pretty face with a tummy and now you may not care about others opinion, but the thought of wanting to be skinny, even if you already are, in an unhealthy way it can easily cross you mind when you were scarred as a child. It is just an intrusive thought, but as much as I love food and working out and my balanced life, there isn't a single time that when I get stomach pain or throw up that I think oh well I guess it's an excuse to eat just the bare minimum. To this day I find it sad that I can't stop this thoight from crossing my mind even if for a second
I LOVE what you said at the end
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR VIDEOS THAT SO IMPORTANT 💗💗💗💗
Zoe, you're like the best friend that i don't have🖤 thank you for your videos, i love them!
just want to give a hug to everyone in the comments right now, reading through everyone's experiences. there is no one like you and will never be anyone like you again, and that's beauty (fr tho genetically there will never be anyone like you again). ultimately, social trends come and go. be kind to yourself :))
also so glad this is being talked about, this video was amazing
SO OFF TOPIC but that one tik tok of ily:1 😭 my favorite nugus ty Zoe
oh i love this! thank you so much, it's a really nice video analysis :)
i love your vids! your amazing❤ never change❤
The ‘your butt is so boney!’ Is so relatable. I constantly feel like a thin layer of skin holding in bones. I work out a lot to get myself more thick.
if you aren’t taking in enough protien, no matter how much weights you lift, you will not get “thick.”
17 MINUTE VIDEO OF ZOE ?? YESSSSSSS!!!
Nice ending! Confidence is always in style
I've had people (family friends and family) make comments (not snide but more like observations) about my body. No one has ever called me fat outright but I did have a woman pull size 2x clothes for me and I have NEVER in my life been 2x so I had a breakdown... but the other thing is that us constantly thinking about this, contributes to it...
Ayy my girl posted love uhh
Needed this, tnq sm Zoe
your fashion style is amazing love your vids
skinny shaming exists but its nowhere near fat shaming when your thinness is the standard, even if you're on the verge of an eating disorder you will still be considered a model lmao lets's not lie to each other