Someone who's watched all of those trashy Lifetime dramas and unironically thinks their husband has a double life. That's who. And the comments are locked on that post so everyone else shared the same thoughts.
the worst part that OP husband give her a back out when they start dating and I have no doubt in my mind that OP only married her husband cause she thought after that ring, she could demand him stop hang out with his ex and after what she said about her ex and trying force her husband not to go to the funeral, I won't be surprised that OP husband divorce her
I did customer service and tech support work for over a decade. And yet, I STILL find myself shocked by how STUPID people can be. It'd be one thing if he hadn't been clear about this, but when she admitted he said "This is happening, and if that's a problem for you, say it now because I'll end it with YOU.", she knew what she signed up for. Idiot.
and the op is as stupid as she is heartless. why would she enter into a relationship when some of the conditions to have said relationship were things that she not only made her feel uncomfortable but would make her become more resentful and spiteful. she knew what she was getting into when it came with that relationship and did it anyway despite it making her uncomfortable. she sure lives by some weird logic that most wouldn't understand
Story 3: she died on the way to her car after lunch with OP’s husband. That means there’s a really solid chance that OP’s husband witnessed her death, which makes the story infinitely worse.
I’ve mentioned in other posts how both people were not great but for many reasons OP needed to keep her mouth shut like she has for years. He needed to go and should seek therapy
"Insensitive ahole" is an UNDERSTATEMENT for op 3. What an effing monster. 6/5 buttholes. If anyone ANYONE in my life said that to me after a long friendship with someone I genuinely cared for ended due to death, they'd be out of my life. Forever.
I'm actually in the husband's situation for this story. My best friend is my ex, he and I literally went through the same motions with the exception of he and I never got married. I'm now with a new man (new in that it's a 5 year old relationship lol) and we're engaged to be married. My fiancé knows and interacts with my best friend. My fiance also knew that trying to remove my best friend from the picture was a deal-breaker for me. There's one major, glaring difference between my fiancé/best friend's relationship and OP's relationship: My fiancé fully accepts and understands my relationship with my best friend (it helps that he also likes him). It wouldn't have even occurred to him to BAN me from my best friend's funeral.
Not just that. Also openly admitting that you've enjoyed the fact that this person died to a such a degree. Even though said person did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG TO YOU.
Her reaction is weird, is this really the hill she wants to die on? He saw his ex all the time when she was alive but attending her funeral is off limits? Why?
she could have said nothing and let him go to the funeral. instead, she let her anger and resentment out. whoops. couldn’t keep it in while she danced on his friends grave.
Story 2: you know what hurts kids MORE than them not having the love of a mother....telling them that someone owes them love, who doesn't & won't ever.
Those family members who are doing that to those kids are not just heartless, but selfish because they are doing that rather than addressing their grief properly.
the thing is what if this thing is reversed,like,what if the ex-wife then got a new husband later after the divorce.then,they had their child or children.then,the new husband of the ex-wife dies,does the ex-husband would be willing to father her ex-wife's kid/s? or better yet,the ex-husband approached this matter so rudely and very entitled.the ex-wife could refuse to mother her ex's kid/s,but there's a way she could do.maybe ask more nicely or pay her like babysitter at first or something like it?or better,retry their old love,re-date her or court her again.this way,she would then be their actualt step-mother who could be their mother figure or new mother...
Story 4 OP, YTA. He knows nothing of grad student work. The longer someone is a grad student, the harder it is to do nothing. When the student says they have to stuff to do, the need to be doing it. If OP's daughter followed my education plan, she's been a grad student for 5-6 years. She should be coming to end of her studies, writing and defending her thesis. OP can shove off.
Also even if she had no work to do. The daughter is a 28 year old adult home for a visit. It's crazy that the dad thinks he can assign her tasks like a 14 year old doing chores. LOL And the insanity of trying to control the how/when she does him a favor? While being disrespectful of her and her work? This guy is a complete idiot.
Agreed. I'm in graduate school, doing a research masters. We have four assignments due between Thursday and Tuesday next week. One of my pals on another grad programme is chest deep in work too, alongside placement, work and social life. It can be very hectic. I have an understanding mum who knows that we're doing our best. This guy needs to have a taste of end of semester grad school..
Agree. When I was a grad student, I can't tell you how many night I stayed up to 3 am grading because my dad had a similar mentality (the physical labor = real work, anything else doesn't mentality). Only difference is I wasn't on a break and had 2 jobs on top of grad stuff. Good on that daughter for leaving for a better environment.
Last story: OP's daughter is working on her PhD. Depending on the size of the college or university, she could have hundreds of tests and papers she is grading. (My husband was a T.A. for three classes while working on his master's, and had over 200 papers to grade at the end of the semester.) That is on top of doing her own research work. Just because her job isn't physical, doesn't mean it isn't hard and stressful.
He also said she was on a break from work. Even if she had no work, by his own words she came there for a visit while on vacation. Who wants to go on vacation in order to work?
@@analyticalchick3064 it might have been a break from classes, but I don't think she was on vacation. She clearly still has deadlines to meet. School break and vacation from work are two entirely different critters. My daughter's elementary school had a three week winter break, the teachers still had work they were doing the first week and training/planning sessions the third week.
Story 1: She's not entitled to anything, and it's not your responsibility to figure out what she is and isn't serious about. She threatened to uninvite you because you didn't get her the most expensive gift on her wish list. She cares more about money and stuff then she does her family she doesn't deserve that money. And tell your DIL, that this does not concern her, she feels so strongly about it tell her to give her daughter the $40,000.
She shows no remorse for hurting OP and spouse’s feelings and never once apologized. She instead blamed it on stress. If she gave a heartfelt apology, not mention that she knows about the money, OP may have given it to her. She chose to be a brat instead.
Air fryers aren't cheap either. They can be like from 100 to like $300. I would never expect anyone to buy me more than $100 gift for a wedding. No matter their relationship with me. I don't know maybe I just have a skewed version of gift giving. But I'm getting married this Summer and there's only two things on my registry that are expensive. That's because the bay where I have my registry you get 50% off two items on your registry that nobody bought for you. So it's a new washer and a new dryer and we will be buying them. At 50% off. That's the only reason they're there I have no expectations for anybody to spend that much money on me. Honestly if somebody couldn't afford gifts I'd rather they just come. Cuz it's more important that my fiance and I's friends and families are at the wedding then gifts. So entitled.
Also, granddaughter clearly has a pattern: get me a better gift or I'll uninvite you to the wedding. Get me my big cash gift or I won't see you at Christmas. Wedding stress my butt, she's just greedy, spoiled and entitled, not to mention bratty.
Hmm. I think we got a whopping $119 (ok, it was early 80s and probably $150 before gas and groceries) total from relatives when we got married. Some nice gifts , too.
So she can say “I have him now so stay tf away ex! 👅” she’s clearly insecure and jealous that the first wife made him the guy she loves now and is being possessive.
Story 3 - 100% agreed with your assessment. The woman is a jealous liar. And dumb too because if she would have just waited a few weeks/months for the funeral to be over, her ridiculous mindset would be satisfied anyways. Husband was upfront, this woman lied and needs therapy.
More than that, I pray to heaven that they have separate bank accounts. OP seems like she's not above financial abuse and withdrawing money from a joint account so husband couldn't attend the funeral.
Story 4: A clarification about the last story: OP manages a fulfillment center. Not works, not owns, manages. He's so used to telling people what to do that he thinks he can do it to his own daughter with impunity. I would *hate* to work for this guy; if he treats his daughter this bad, I can only imagine how badly he treats his workers.
@@DrunkSamurai There's a difference between managing a center and working at one. He doesn't tend to the people, he orders other people to tend to them and makes sure the place is running properly.
@DrunkSamurai I'm not saying it isn't work, but they're not working at the center, they're not taking care of the patients, they're managing the people who do. There is a difference between managing a place and working at it. There is also a difference between work as a general term, and working at a place.
story 3: i haven't even finished the while thing, but the fact that he literally TOLD HER 'let me know you have a problem now before we get serious' and she ignored it and continued on while hating this other woman is making my blood boil. he communicated his boundaries and wants with her, and she bulldozed them.
@@analyticalchick3064 Only a red flag if she's paranoid and unstable. Anyone viewing this as a red flag is almoat certainly one of those 'I don't want you having female/male friends' controlling types.
@@GoldenSunAlex He was literally going on dates with his married ex-wife and pretended she was just a friend. He also said he wanted the ex more. Though, clearly that wasn't an option or they would have stayed married. If you think that's not a red flag, I can only imagine what men pull on you. Personally, my husband doesn't continue to date his ex girlfriends and I'm the only wife he's ever had.
As someone who is going to school to become a teacher, I'm going to argue that grading papers is a bit stressful, especially if you are on a time crunch. Doesn't matter if she has until the following week to submit it, maybe she doesn't want to proscinate until the last minute.
It also doesn't matter if she was just spending her down time...relaxing! OP doesn't get to consume her time just because. Also what's this bullshit of TELLING a 28 year old to run your errands? Uh, how about ASKING if she will do these things for you and then being happy to let her decided WHEN so long as she gets them done by the time they're needed? The dad is clearly a disrespectful idiot who doesn't acknowledge his daughter is another adult.
@@fdm2155- that OP sounds exactly like my mother. I guarantee OP has been doing this forever. The kids get volentold for things they have no interest in. They are expected to come home for every holiday, even when we have other family to visit. And if OP happens to see one of his kids sitting around “doing nothing”, they get assigned a task that OP needed to do, and it has to be done immediately, if not sooner. Chances are, when the kids were little, if they saw OP coming home, they’d scatter to other parts of the house before he could see them while walking in and get yelled some chores to do.
Story 4: as someone who is on their first year of the their PhD, F*** this person. Their daughter is working basically all year round in an advanced field and sounds like they are doing Graduate Teaching Assistant work on top of that. Not only that, but they have managed to work out a routine that allows them to effectively get their work done, and their father can’t even give them 24 hours notice on any errands they demand. Just… how can someone not understand that flexible work hours doesn’t mean they have the ability to drop everything and reschedule around someone else’s whims?
that 3rd story is so bizarre. why would the op get involved in a relationship that had a condition she knew she didn't approve of and didn't support. the 3rd op is literally getting into a relationship that she knew would more than likely make her unhappy in the long run which in fact came true in the end. it's just baffling to me that people like op 3 would stupidly enter into a relationship that they knew from the get go would make her unhappy and bitter due to the conditions attached to the relationship
The impression I get is that OP expected she would be given support and precedence as his spouse, but when he would do things like go out to movies with the ex when his wife thought maybe he should be taking HER to the movies on a date instead it could lead to a lot of resentment. He made his wife feel inferior to a mere "friend" in their marriage when he should have her back and support her.
Yeah that is absolutely on her. Did she think that her husband would suddenly just drop his friend? Personally, I think that level of closeness with an ex would make me incredibly uncomfortable. If I was in a relationship with someone who basically said if they had to choose between me and their friend and they said they would choose their friend, I would be gone because I should be the most important person to them. That's all there is to it. This woman was clearly insanely jealous and a cold, unfeeling person in her reaction to her husband's friend/ex dying. She shouldn't have continued with that relationship the moment her husband told her he would choose his friend over her.
I disagree with the “ESH” comments. She KNEW about this going in before they even dated. If she didn’t like it, she could have and should have left. Let the guy stew over his ex, and keep her as a friend and such. That’s his deal and she shouldn’t have gotten involved. He was up front about it, so OP has 0 excuses.
Story 3: Jesus, the way OP talks about her husband sounds like the personification of a dog explaining that because she peed on something, it's hers. YTA. And a sociopathic one at that since she clearly has no effing clue how grief works. The ex's husband calling OP a ghoul is spot on.
Imagine being that dad in the last story: > Criticized his daughter for having a desk-based job, but he works in an office space. > Badgers her to do his errands despite her trying to explain her work is time sensitive > Can't bother to do his own errands because...? > Ends up making said daughter go to their friend's place to keep working using good ol' /r/Maliciouscompliance energy.
Many people are like that! If they're not doing the same work as them such as going to the office, then it's not real work! The Father saw her "Working from Home" IE grading the papers as in, "Well she can just put a pause on it and do all these chores that I setup for her b/c she's not really working like me at an office." The Father really has toxic views and I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing all this b/c "She's a woman and not even married yet!"
My ghoul and ghost friends agrees with you! That story was so shocking and I hope it's not real. Unfortunately, there are people like her so it could be real.
@@dragonfliesnh4204 I've had friends like that, and any attempt to explain that friendships with exes are possible fell on deaf ears. I've met men and women like that, and if it's a dealbreaker for them, that's one thing, but knowingly staying in the relationship and demonising others who have these friendships is not okay. What a wretched woman. Ew.
@@ared-ainu I totally agree with you. I have many guy friends. I won't just break off all ties with them just because my significant other is insecure and doesn't trust me. If I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with any of my guy friends, I would have done it before the current relationship. In my past relationships, I had no problems with them being friends of all genders. Trust is one of the most important aspect of a relationship.
Story 2: Your father just want to replacement mother and since your mom can't cut off contact with him because of the co-parent thing he trying to force it on her. You're absolutely right he cheated on her and obviously she doesn't want to raise his afair partners kids, I feel bad for your half sibling because your dad the one who's forcing them to believe that they're entitled to the woman's love and affection. Your dad need to grow up and realize that your mom doesn't owe him s***.
Agreed. He probably wants babysitting. He wants to have his weeks off when his kids go with his ex. He can't have that if she won't take the other two. No, she doesn't have to love those kids. The only thing she owes those kids is respect the same way you would respect any other human being. The fathers of monster for lying to his kids like that feeding into this fantasy story he spelled up in their heads. His family isn't much better. The only thing they're doing with this behavior is hurting those kids.
Self centered narcissist is appalled that ex-wife won't take his affair children so he can have free time. Or maybe he gets off on the idea of rubbing the affair in her face while making her pay to take care of his new kids.
I just hate that her dad and half siblings gang up on her even after telling everyone the same thing which is the same thing her mom says. It’s not OPs responsibility nor obligation!
@@lorilancaster5917 agreed. And you know it comes from them being too lazy and selfish to put in the work to address things properly or give them the love they need, instead of trying to pawn that off on someone who has no obligation to them.
I had a friend like this. He was a truck driver and he couldn't understand how mentally, physically and emotionally taxing waiting tables is. He once told his wife's brother to get a real job. The wife slapped him. “Dealing with people like you, is what makes it hard.”
I were in a similar situation when I worked at a call center - I had 12-hour shifts 3 days in the week and a shorter one, and when I came back after the shorter one and was exhausted, my dad was like, "What were you doing? Plowing with the straight shovel? Chopping wood? Carrying cement? Oh, I remember! You were having thus cushy job sitting your ass all day long and doing nothing, while I bust my behind doing real work!" Some people just don't understand.
OP dad wanting his ex wife to raise his new kids reminds me of my sister. My sister gets angry with our father because he doesn't want to know about his ex wife's other kids that she had after their divorce. Yes they are my half brothers and I care about them, but they are nothing to my dad and he shouldn't be expected to care about them
3rd Story: As someone who ended things on good terms with their ex, I can say that I would not take it well if my partner tried to forbid me from going to my ex's funeral (Not that I believe he would do that, I've made it clear that I no longer have romantic feelings for my ex, and he understands that). I completely agree with OP's husband here. While my ex and I are LC due to our schedules, I would drop everything to be there for him if he needed me, and I know he would do the same for me, because when Hurricane Laura came through my home town, my family evacuated to some friend's and family's homes upstate and I got a call from him the day after it hit checking to make sure I was ok (This was the first time I had heard from him since we broke up). Even if OP's husband weren't in constant contact with his ex, I completely understand wanting a chance to see her in person one last time to say goodbye, as I would want the same. OP, YTA
@@paranormalsnow8030 Bold of you to equate being willing to help my ex if he needed it with me still having feelings for him. There are many types of people in the world, and I'm of the type who would help anyone I care about if I can, and my ex happens to be on that list because he has given me no reason to resent or be angry with him. Obviously my partner and family would come first if I had to choose who to help, but if my ex-or anyone else I care about, for that matter-asked for my help, and I know there's nothing happening in my life at the time that would stop me, I would help them.
@@paranormalsnow8030 I understand where you're coming from, but I still believe you shouldn't jump to conclusions if you don't have all the facts. "I would drop everything to help them" applies to everyone I'm close with, and based on the context I have provided I shouldn't have to explain why that applies to my ex. And while yes, I would say our relationship ended on good terms, I did not mention specifically *how* it ended, or what emotions we felt or what events were occurring at the time it happened. It's perfectly normal to be in a platonic relationship with your ex if you don't/didn't have any bad blood with them, and as long as my partner understands the situation, which he does, and does not try to create something in his head where there is nothing to interpret, there's nothing wrong with it when you're in a relationship either. You recall that I also mentioned the my ex and I are LC. And while "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," the absence of a person one might've already been growing apart from will not necessarily generate stronger feelings as much as it would reinforce the decline in romantic interest. Like I said before, I understand where you're coming from and why you would think that, but I would appreciate it if you didn't make assumptions about my love life when you don't have all the details.
@@paranormalsnow8030 no worries, to each their own. It's perfectly fine an natural to ask questions when something either seems sus or doesn't add up. I just prefer to ask first and then come to a conclusion based on the answers I get.
Story 3: The fact her husband has a good relationship with his ex is good thing. Most breakups dont go over well. I hope OPs husband divorces her behind ASAP!
Exactly. I know a girl from HS that divorced her husband recently yet they have an AMAZING friendship. They openly admit they work MUCH BETTER as best friends than as a couple. Sure, they have kids, but the regularly hang out just because. Some people just don't work that way.
She shouldn't have stayed in the relationship when he said "I will chose her over you." Honestly, even though none of my breakups ended on bad terms and it was mutual, I couldn't be friends with any of my exes. There's too many feelings there and I find it very strange when people stay friends after a breakup. The woman had a problem with him being friends with his ex, she should've left. That's just that.
@@toothless3835 honestly, i see that a good sign. it says a lot about you as a person on how you value your relationships, new and old. she was a new girlfriend and new relationships should never be valued higher then older ones. at the time when he said that they had only been dating a few months. a relationship of a couple of months can not be stronger then one of years which included a marriage. its a good sign imo that he isn't the type of person to throw away all his relationships for sex, because at that point it is just sex, you can't claim to truly love someone until you know them fully, and you can't know someone that deeply in such a short amount of time.
Decades ago I would go to my parent's home for a week at Christmas. The entire time I was there my mother would question my comings and goings, my friend choices and about every other decision I made. I started booking a hotel during visits and the complaints became I was wasting my money. My response was "It's my money and your complaining is uncalled for. I won't be back." I skipped the holiday visit for a couple of years and she called to tearfully apologize. I agreed to attend but continued to stay at a hotel during the visits. I found out some years later that my dad had told her "Make it right or be ready to spend Christmas by yourself because I'm going to his house."
Some parents have a very difficult time transitioning from treating their children like children to treating them like adults. They tend to be the types who treat their kids like extensions of themselves. I didn't have this issue because I took the years where my kids were 17 & 18 & told them that they'd get to take the lead on their decisions. I'd just there for backup & advice. I started slowly handing over management of their lives to them & standing next to them in case they had any questions or they needed backup. It worked beautifully. I'll use my youngest as an example. She is 19. She went out & got a job that started her at $23 an hour last July & she applied for a promotion in early December that she just had an interview for a week ago. She still discusses things with me to make sure she isn't missing some vital detail but she's confident in herself & her abilities so she goes for it. If she stumbles or falls, I'll help her get up & get going again (like I would for all of them) but I have every confidence that my kids will be good.
@@tazhienunurbusinezz1703 It took me moving out of the house for my Mom to stop treating me like I was 16 and not someone in my late twenties/early thirties. I do have a good relationship now with her. But there was a lot of resentment building up.
@@LilDevyl17 I'm really sorry. Parents need to get so much better at planning for this very natural transition. Kids should never have to wrest control of their lives away from their parents. They should be given it wholeheartedly & the parent then is just like an advisory board instead of active management.
Story two is really simple. No one is the A except for the father. He's the one who had an affair, so he can't expect his wife (or ex-wife) to mother the kids he had through an affair.
There are families that coparent as a group. I've been involved in that. But it should never be the expectation and that's what OPs dad did. He expected that because Kate was going to be a mother to OP and her brother that the roles would be flipped when Kate died. That's not how life works.
@@anarchyvixyn hands down. In a situation where something like this happens, the most ideal situation is the coparenting one. What the man did was definitely NOT that.
First Story, NTA: Wow, OP's youngest daughter brought this on herself. All she had to do was patiently wait. Not to mention how ungrateful she is. Second Story, NTA: While I feel for Tommy and Ellie because they are innocent and want a mother figure; however, it can’t be helped that OP's mom can’t be that mother figure to them. Also, why is all of this being placed on OP's shoulders? OP is a child herself and her dad and uncle cornered her and asked her why her mom won’t do this and that? OP's dad is scum to cheat on his wife and get the other woman pregnant AND expect OP's mom to just be happy and loving towards these kids knowing the pain he caused her Third Story, Major YTA: I didn’t finish this yet but from what I’ve seen so far oh my god OP. OP honestly shouldn’t be dating let alone getting married if she is this insecure. "He spend a bunch of time but honestly I was relieved" who feels that way over someone's death?! OP's husband needs to see the red flag OP is right now. SHE WAS MARRIED TOO, so why is OP so jealous?! Yo, OP is messed up on all kinds of levels Fourth Story, YTA: Just because the work isn’t in an office or is back breaking labor doesn’t mean it isn’t work. What is stopping OP from getting off his ass and getting these things himself? OP needs to stop being lazy and stop expecting his daughter to be a free delivery service
But doesn't is kinda funny that the granparents still expect her to come to christmas dinner to their House after being the only one Grand sibling or the only couple that didn't got the 40k? Like everybody in that celebration would have got a huge give to start a new life and she was tested and failed and now have to see all the people that got the money that she didn't, is a bit delusional to expect her to be okay to attend a celebration in the House of the people that she is mad with because they tested her and she fail
This case is completely different, but there is a point where someone's death is a relief to people. Of course it's mostly reserved to truly awful and evil people. OP is nuts.
@@marjoriejohnston4905 I’ll be relieved when my mother and brother die, purely because they massively abused me as a child. That relief will be very private as I won’t have to worry they’ll track me down, try and get strangers to harass me on their behalf, where I won’t have to worry all the time that they’ll somehow find me. I’m not going to shout from the rooftop however, it’ll be a quiet relief that I’m fully free from my abusers who gave me nerve damage and PTSD. But this woman in the story? YIKES, YIIIIIKES. Like imagine being so jealous of a friendship that you gleefully celebrate an innocent woman’s death and then post online “AITA for rubbing this woman’s death into my husbands face, for gleefully celebrating and trying to control my husband”
As a Professor’s daughter, I can testify how much time professors work. I grew up watching my Dad work 80 hours per week minimum. It’s an incredibly busy and tough job. Being a Professor is so tough that my Dad was grading papers the day after he suffered a stroke (he’s okay now).
I love how they said "other mystery work is" Oh, I don't know....assessments, grant application for research, funding applications for her PhD, search strategies for systematic reviews... It's that time in the year when a lot do things are/were due (depending on the uni). I'm a master of Research student, and we have four assignments due between Thursday and next Tuesday. This time of the academic year is always hectic. I'm glad your dad's okay, strokes are awful.
I'm a professor and I was back to work the day after Christmas. People think we only work during the semester, but most of us all workaholics all year round. It is very engaging work, but it makes it very hard to have a work-life balance.
1st story: NTA of course, it's op's money and she showed quite clearly how much her grandparents money vs their presence means. Plus what she did by threatening uninvite from wedding and refusing Christmas is a thing called emotional blackmail
Notice that the granddaughter didn't apologize. She excused her behavior. If she did that cause she was stressed, she would have apologized after. As rslash said, it was just about the 💰 to here
I feel so bad for the grandmother and she sounds so wonderful and caring. Not everyone can afford to give a gift to a couple who are getting married and just being at the wedding should be considered a gift. The grandmother even bought something on the registry instead of getting something with an off chance they may not like it! If the granddaughter doesn't change her outlook and treatment towards her grandmother, hopefully she will regret her behavior when grandmother passes away as she deserves to have regrets for the rest of her life.
@@SoManyRandomRamblingsYeah, and she didn’t even do it after! Owning your mistakes goes a long way with most people. But if she had humbled herself enough to do that, she’d also recognize that her grandparents were within their rights to withhold the money.
Third story--I disagree with Rslash--Setting a boundary like "I don't want you having any friends of the opposite sex" is a HUGE red flag. That's NOT a boundary that's ok--it indicates a very manipulative and controlling mind.
I also was taken aback but upon a second listen I think he meant if both parties consent to said boundary which is perfectly acceptable as toxic as it is.
@@paranormalsnow8030 if your SO going out alone with friends is enough to make her cheat she wasn't worth it in the first place 🤷 no person who actually loves their partner would cheat on them
4th story: I think I'm getting a clue why OP's daughter minimizes her time at home. I bet she's just waiting until her sister moves out to go completely NC, and good for her if she does. OP YTA.
Lol no contact for bugging her not understanding her work. Do internet people burn all their relationships annually? There's no way people you know have never irked you.
@@mariposa9506 Why should the daughter do anything for a father that treats her like a slave and complains about her when she literally does what he wants her to when he tells her to 'leave his house'?
@@WolfODonnelfan Where did I say she should do anything for him? Please read my comment carefully and quote the passage where I said this. I'll wait. I said going NC is a ridiculous overreaction to an argument with your parent. The story doesn't talk about a lifetime of abuse or shitty treatment. The story talked about a parent not transitioning to viewing his daughter as an adult with work commitments. Families can be jerks sometimes. They can be short sighted self centered sometimes. Adults find ways to deal with each other. Sometimes they learn. Going no contact with a parent over this story is ridiculous, and I was laughing about this comment in particular and these types of overreactions as a whole from people. You'd think people never had an argument before or were annoying themselves from time to time.
The OP in that last story sounds like such a bossy and controlling Boomer. They do realize that the daughter is a grown woman with her own job and life, right. I’m surprised they figured out how to use Reddit. They probably had a lot of help from their other kid.
story 2 NTA if OP's half-sister and half-brother so badly want a mother, OP's father can just find a girlfriend it's not the job of his ex (whom he also cheated on) to fix things up
I would imagine Kate’s family pretty much disowned her when they found out she was a homewrecker. If that is the case, then OP’s mother and Kate’s family are my favorite characters in the story
Disown her when she’s alive, sure. But when she passed away, that’s a whole different situation. They should have wanted to be a part of her kids’ lives and I think it’s cruel and heartless that they weren’t personally.
@Lori Lancaster normally when you disown somebody you cut contact with them completely. I wouldn't be surprised if they went the nuclear angle and don't even know that she's dead
Story 3: What the peck is wrong with OP? Like, breaking a friendship just to be with someone? Heck no! That's toxic as s**t! As RSlash said, OP definitely was glad that the friend died, and it's really telling
ESH in the story. OPs spouse made it clear that his ex will always be a priority and if she has a problem she can leave. Easy for me to say but OP should’ve walked away right then. He showed no interest in any concerns OP may have nor did it show that he placed higher priority to OP other than marrying her. Again instead of getting out or requesting couples counseling, she stewed in her emotions knowing that he wouldn’t listen. She let herself be treated like a mistress
@@lorilancaster5917 No way. The wife is clearly the AH. the husband said he wouldn't sacrifice his friendship for a romance, and that is a perfectly reasonable stance. And if a wife/husband demands you pick between your best friend or them, said person is worthless keeping around and should be thrown away like the garbage they are.
@@miniman649 This. It seems like it was fairly early into their relationship so ofc he's gonna choose his best friend over his new girlfriend. He set some very clear boundaries and op ignored them for years and years.
@@lorilancaster5917 He TOLD her this, though. He told her. She had a chance to back out, and didn't. She lied to him to trap him into a relationship. She's TA, fullstop.
I'm sorry, but I had to laugh out loud at the last story. I'm 65, my kids actually get mad at me for doing stuff for myself. Last summer I moved my old dryer outside to make room for a new one. Boy, did I catch hell for not waiting for them to help me. I don't know why, I hike 2 to 4 miles a day and go snowshoeing for an hour or more in the winter, if there is enough snow. I believe some people view their children as little pack horses and as a way to shirk responsibility.
In story 4 that guy is projecting so hard lol. My parents have never done that to me. Anytime I’ve been in school and had homework and they had to ask me to do something, they made sure they only asked if they absolutely needed to-and that’s not something I told them to do: that’s something they did themselves.
God damn the 3rd story is so heartless. He told her a few month into dating before she even met the ex aka his friend the deal, she accepted it and despised this woman who hasn't done anything to her. (If she did op would've stated it, because she very much just hates this woman) the only reason we know of is that she had the nerve to be married to her husband and then stayed friends after the divorce. Op is a bitter and spiteful person, so angry at someone who hasn't done anything wrong. Op is so jealous of a now dead woman she isn't there to comfort her husband. I hope he divorces her
I agree with you. It's was shocking to hear about OP's lack of compassion and empathy, especially towards a person who did nothing wrong. Being jealous of a dead person is horrible on so many levels. OP's husband was upfront and honest about this from the beginning! Not every bad situation or period of time calls for divorce, but this one certainly does. I feel so bad for the husband and the new widower for losing someone they love. My parents had a rough marriage but they got closer after they divorced and were much better off just being friends. My ex-stepfather wasn't jealous of my dad or vice versa. Some people really can be friends with an ex and have no romantic interest for them. It's wonderful when that happens, as it doesn't always work out that way.
Last story reminded me of my father. I surprised everyone by deciding at the last minute to go to collage and get a degree (scholarship offer). My dad called me lazy, that I didn't want to actually work for a living. When the scholarship ran out and I still had time to go, he refused to pay for my schooling so my grandmother ended up paying for the rest of it. He told me that once I graduated I had 3 months to get out which I did gladly (later he denied ever telling me this). After he died my mother told me that he was proud of me, it would have been nice if he had been able to tell me himself.
The mother said no, OPs brother likely has told them no, and now he hopes to break his daughter where other attempts failed. I wouldn’t be surprised if his next step is to withhold any college savings. His younger kids need counseling not to be used as pawns
@@sersastark That's not a punishment. Dad needs to get HIS kids therapy. This is an unfortunate reality of life. Some. Parents. Die. Young. OP's mom DOES NOT OWE THESE KIDS SHIT. THEY AREN'T HER'S THEY ARE THE RESULT OF AN AFFAIR. They aren't excluded from anything they wouldn't have anyway. They aren't excluded because they were never supposed to be included and they aren't entitled to OP's mom. They deserve a mom, THEIR MOM, but not OP's. Sit down.
Everyone is missing something very important here. The affair partner (who is now deceased) didn’t just appear out of thin air. She arguably has parents and siblings and cousins who are still alive (until we’re told otherwise). Yet the dad makes 0 effort to communicate with them?! Wouldn’t they want to see their daughter’s/sister’s/cousin’s kids? Build a relationship with them? I gave her side of the family 5/5 in my post because of this lack of love, and I’ll stand by that until we get more information.
Story 3: Usually when I heard of funerals of exes, I tend to think the current spouse doesn’t want the other spice to go due to stuff like cheating, suspicious moments with evidence, and stuff like that. Similar to the first AITA I (Edit: personally) saw. But this wife isn’t at all what I expected, and the way she was talking about the friend and the dead in the post uniroically was able to show off a bit more of the red flags more clearer as well
Story 3: YTA. The dude literally told OP he would pick the friendship with ex in the beginning! And reaffirmed that before they got married. Seemingly lied about how ok she was with it just to be married to this guy specifically, and OP stayed and hoped that would change things? Where is OP’s brain?
I agree OP is an idiot for knowing the score and still going through with getting married. However, the husband did also put a "friend" above his wife. It's fine for him to still be friends with the ex, but it's more than reasonable for the new wife to expect him to spend his time with her and do things with her more than his ex. Regardless of their past history, friend should NEVER come before wife in a marriage.
@@Brigand231 I disagree. I don't think it was friendship over marriage. You shouldn't be asking your partner to abandon long and meaningful friendships for you. If you are soooooooooo uncomfortable, leave and find someone that fits your standards.
@@Brigand231 exactly! OP is a major AH don’t get me wrong but her spouse appears to never show her having more priority over his friend/ex except for marrying her. It sounds like he never had a deep conversation with OP and listen to any issues she may have. It’s been, “This is what it is and if you have a problem there’s the door!” OP should’ve just left
@@Brigand231 Then, OP is foolish because he mentioned a few times the friendship came first. That would be like me whining a traffic cop wrote me a ticket for parking in a no parking zone, despite me thinking it was reasonable since it was a flat space out of the way.
Story 3 : As someone who's ex is in my life and a close friend, I could have never stood if I had a spouse as terrible as this woman, divorce would be on the table ASAP. It is entirely possible to have a relationship with your exes that are platonic, just like this guy, my ex and I were really good friends, "tried" out dating, realised we didn't love each other that way when we both felt for someone else, had a chat were we admitted being into someone else, that since we didn't loathed or even disliked each other, why not trying being friends? The first two years did felt a little awkward at first, especially when you don't know many people around you with an ex still in the picture(in a healthy way), then it was back to the great friendship like before we dated, with the knowledge we don't love each other to the point of being a "thing". Since OP didn't mentionned anything her husband did that sparked real worries, I'm assuming she just went and decided this girl was competition, since she "won his heart once, could prob win it again" or some mentality like that. She forced herself to be unhappy, she "sucked it up", because she knew he would never let that friend go, instead of accepting that this relationship wasn't for her and leave.
I love it absolutely love it when somebody gives an ultimatum and when that ultimatum backfires because the one who received the ultimatum didn't do what they wanted just pick the other option and they're all surprise Pikachu face. He told her she could go somewhere else if she didn't want to run his errands so she went and stayed somewhere else. Love it Edit just like the first story with the granddaughter saying if you don't give me the money I won't come to christmas. You know what I'd say to that well with your deplorable behavior on the phone if you don't want to come to Christmas then don't come. But you're not getting that money because of the way you acted. And I wouldn't say she has three wonderful grandkids I'd say she's got two
@@kespeth2 Looking into other comments, it seems that the case that the "Butthole" we all used to, would also get demonetized now. goddammit youtube...
Story 3: OP is the kind of woman who thinks men can't be friends with women without it being sexual... but probably thinks women can be friends with men without it being sexual. FFS, maybe their marriage ended because they wanted different things out of marriage or feelings changed over time but, they still grew very close during their marriage. I feel you do need to be friends before marriage and while stepping back from marriage to friends again can be awkward and difficult, it isn't always the case and it can be natural. Did OP even learn why they didn't stay together and why he's so close to her? Like, he's being upfront with it and the ex's spouse even doesn't have an issue with it. So what's the problem?!
I have endometriosis and these videos really help me ignore the pain. Also regarding the first story, my whole life until I was 14 when my grandmother died, I got crochet pot holders as christmas and birthday presents from her. They were acrylic so even if I was old enough to use them they were not heat proof. I was still happy, because it's the thought that counts.
I'm glad you defended the PhD student. Indeed, the "time off" between terms can be quite busy. When I was a student, I did research or graded or just had to sleep off an intense term. One time, I think I went overseas to pulll a week of 8 hr + days at an archive reading microfiche (the young folk can Google that) and microfilm. You lived your own work versus the stuff you needed to do to complete course requirements. Sure, there can be down time, but it can be patchy, too. And often only you know which is which and when.
The 4th story reminded me of my moms current partner. For 9 years (up until Feb. of 2021), I was an in home health aid. He told my mom and my grandma that I needed to get a real job.
Last story: Did you really think that someone was going to agree with you? Like when you reread this post before laying the internet redid that someone was going to say, OP you're right, she's not going to work till her job doesn't matter because the important thing is you need to get your work done so she should be your little Aaron girl and do all your chores for you? Just because it's a different kind of job than yours doesn't make it any less a job, your time is not more important than her's, and if it was so important you should have made time for all of these chores so you could do it without stressing about your job, that's your own fault. Also why are you mad that she left? You told her to leave if she refused to do what you should have already done, you did this not her.
Story 3: As someone who has recently lost their stepdad, I would have been very hurt and confused if his ex-wife hadn't had come to his funeral. They were very close and friends before, and after, their marriage/divorce. She knew him most of his life, they had a son together, and they were practically family. It hurts to see how some people can't understand that you can be friends with your exes. Sometimes you think it's right, but it's not. Also, in the story, the friend had an aneurysm on the way to her car?? So, was OP's husband actively with her during that?? Imagine how messed up that would be. Your friend of 20+ years passing in front of you and your wife is like, "Oh wonderful, this is great. Now you don't have to see her or hang out with her, you can spend all that time with me and doing what I want." That's beyond messed up. Your mental health is so important, especially after losing a close loved one, and OP does not understand her husband and his feelings at all. I wish the husband and the ex-wifes husband the best through their grieving and processing. The only advice I can give is: Let yourself cry, let yourself feel your emotions. Do not bottle these up or hide how you feel. Enjoy the little things that come along, and allow yourself to find little bits of peace along the way. She would want that for you.
I stg some people on aita will just say the most ridiculous stories, like “aita for punching a baby because it was ugly” and they genuinely think they were in the right.
The fourth story sounds familiar to me. I have a part time job which is my main income source and a second part time job which is helping a friend set up a business, basically a WFH job building some software for them. My stepdad refuses to accept that anything productive could be done on a computer so over the last few months has been dragging me away from getting paid work done to do shit he needed help with or couldn't be bothered doing himself.
Story 4: I bet you the comments of the post said the same thing, asking "Well why didn't *YOU* do it then?" This guy is lazy, entitled, and really, really childish
They absolutely did. His excuse over and over was "Because SHE had the time to do it and should have done as I asked also SHE LIED about when grades were due!" Note: The grades had to be posted PUBLICLY by Monday night. He found it on the university website. Her internal due date was probably Sunday so the professor could review them
The 4th story: this is how my dad is. Things that aren’t hard labor isn’t a hard day of work. Going to school isn’t hard. Then wonders why his kids don’t talk to him.
Last story: I have a variation of the idea "no psychical work = no real work" in my family: The higher your education, the more your work is worth. Before moving out, I would do more chores than my father, as I failed at uni and he has a diploma. Doesn't matter that I esrn more than my mom, she has a diploma, and I don't. Doesn't matter that I leave home before anyone else and come home later than most. I failed uni, so I do the chores. Didn't realise how messed up my life was until I moved out.
Story 3: OP reminds me of my ex-husbands 2nd wife, except she treated me like *I* was the other woman from the moment she met me, before she started actively trying to isolate him from his friends (especially me). His new girlfriend is super chill about my existence. Hooray civilized divorce.
Story 1: She doesn't care about the fact that her grandma is there at the wedding with her, she only cared about the MONEY. I don't want to say it but, she's a gold digger. NTA 100%.
Just what I’m thinking. I had no relationship at all with my grandparents and none were alive for my wedding. People have to examine what’s really valuable in life.
I don’t usually comment on videos, but oh my God the third story is so awful. How could someone be so cruel to someone that they supposedly love? It makes my heart break for the husband. He basically just found out that his wife is an evil person. My God…
The 4th story... She doesn't hang out with y'all the whole time because you don't respect her time. What an idiot. It'd be different if she said she was going out. "Oh can you drop by the post office and pick this up while you're out?" THAT'S okay. But she's WORKING. She'll likely ghost them someday for good and they won't figure out why.
Story 3: Jesus Christ dude. I understand being uncomfortable and paranoid about your partner being friends with an ex, I’m pretty sure most of us have been in that boat before, but like the husband said she had her chance to back out but didn’t, so all the subsequent anguish is all on her. And her reaction to the death is nuts! You don’t get to decide who someone mourns and for how long. And what she wrote, aside from being just heartless and cruel, is actually kinda funny cuz she sounds like she implying that she’s afraid her husband is gonna cheat on her with his dead ex wife if he goes to the funeral
10:58 ONLY 4? SHE DISRESPECTED ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN HER HUSBANDS LIFE WHILE HE WAS PROBABLY DEPRESSED BECAUSE THE SAME PERSON DIED, INSTANT 5/5 Score
Story 3, while having that close of a relationship with an ex is kinda weird. Being in a romantic relationship with someone does mean that you accept their past, and who they are. OP's husband even checked a few times to make sure OP was good with it. If OP seriously had issues with it she should have backed out 10+ Years ago. If she can't be bothered to support her husband in his grief.... I feel super bad for the husband.
The two husbands are bending over backwards for a woman basically with two men. The OP must be fat or ugly or something to have put up with this then try to get upset with this later.
Story 3 : that OP is such a AH for saying that kind of stuff I wonder how the man didn't just burn that marriage the very moment she stepped on the girl's deathbed.
She didn't just step on it, she danced a jig on it. That would have absolutely been game over for me, to see somebody I thought I loved behave with such a complete an utter lack of humanity... no. I'd be done.
3rd story: I audibly gasped when wife said "you don't think you're GOING, do you?" Even if the husband's and friend's relationship WAS crossing a line, the shit she said was absolutely horrific. Friend's husband hit it on the head: she is absolutely ghoulish.
@@ryukthegodofdeath5906 I know. It's 3pm here. So once the clock turns 3pm, I keep refreshing until the video pops up. I don't actually sit 24/7 waiting for the next video
Story #2---If OP's Dad wants to make sure that his second family has a "Mother" in their lives he should find another woman willing to cheat with him! Tell her that his wife is still alive and then get her pregnant! Selfish loser 5/5AH! He wants his ex to be the Mother to the children he spawned by cheating on her?! No, he wants someone else to do the job of parenting that he is too selfish to do!
I checked the last story, and by OP's replies, he still doesn't get it. He seems to make it a competition over who works the hardest and seems to hate that he can't control his daughter. Someone is being a spoiled brat for sure - but it's not the daughter. He's definitely one of those types who'd starve because he can't be arsed to make his own plate even when there's food to eat.
Personally I can't get over the fact that the cheapest thing on the registry was an air frier. When I have made registries in the past (wedding and baby) as well as when my family requests a Christmas list I make sure I include very cheap items because I don't know everyone's finances and I want them to feel included and like they are contributing if they want to without it being a burden. I also have young family members who are just getting started in life and I don't want them to stress about their budget. I always include things like washcloths, wooden spoons, consumables ect. Things that are under 10 dollars and often under 5 and I am happy when someone gets those things because it's not about the gift, it's about celebrating with my loved ones. Family shouldn't be about monetary transactions.
I don’t care how much I may hate somebody. If they meant the world to somebody close to me, I would be there for them and leave any thoughts I may have to myself because guess what? It’s not about me during that moment! OP is completely heartless for basically celebrating someone’s death in front of her husband and then attempting to force him to not go. I seriously hope the husband had some divorce papers ready after his friends funeral.
My fiance is still friends with 4 of his exes and I'd never tell him he couldn't talk with or see any of them. All 4 of them became my friends pretty quickly into the relationship as well. Don't ask someone to choose between you and someone else cos (spoiler) it won't be you.
I agree, but I also get the impression (and I could be wrong) that the husband in the story chose to do things with the ex that the new wife was excluded from. There was a mention of going to geeky movies, it was made to sound like the wife was never invited and the "friend" was given priority. There's no good reason to be giddy when someone passes away, but if the relationship was always like that, despite being married to the new wife the husband was always going out with the ex and leaving the new wife out of things I can understand why she might be relieved.
@@Brigand231 The fact that OP calls it "geeky movies" means she likely disapproves of these movies or doesn't like them, so even if she was invited she wouldn't go
@@Brigand231 you have to remember this post was written by someone who was extremely biased against and jealous towards his friend so of course she's gonna make it out like she's being neglected. the truth is that people do things without their spouses all the time.
I'm really glad for the person that died story, that RSlash took the side of the husband because yeah, he was up front about his relationship, and she was being very callous about the fact that he just lost one of his closest friends.
Story 2: I agree with OP...BUT I aslo feel awful for those kids...none of this is their fault and I feel like it's fair for them to want to be included in their half-siblings family. BUT it's also fair that OP's mother doesn't want to interact with them. All get 0/5 AH...EXCEPT for OP's dad who gets 4/5 AH and the family that push for it get 2.5/5 AH
"Am I the A"? YT must be cracking down hard. :/ *First OP:* OP's granddaughter shot herself in the foot by being a choosing beggar. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* I feel bad for OP's half-siblings, but OP is right. It's neither her, nor her mother's responsibility to involve them in their lives. None of this would've happened if OP's father hadn't cheated on OP's mom. OP is NTA. *Third OP:* This has to be rage bait, right? There's no way anyone can be that insensitive. OP's husband told OP _at least twice_ that his late friend was important to him, and that he'd pick her over OP. He gave OP two chances to either accept their friendship or break up with her husband, but she did neither. And then to tell her husband not to grieve for his friend that he'd known for 20 years!? OP is definitely TA. I hope her husband divorces her. *Fourth OP:* I thought OP was her mom for a second. Just because OP's daughter isn't busy enough for OP doesn't mean she's not busy. And why was OP looking through his daughter's schedule?! OP mentioned his daughter having a girlfriend; I wonder if that's a factor to how OP treats her. OP is TA.
Am I the A? Seriously? CZcams needs to be restricted in what it can and can't monitor/censor. Hate, topics relating to people hurting themselves, genuinely dangerous things - yes, of course, that's all a no-brainer, keep an eye on it at the very least. The occasional "swear" - NO! CZcams, stop trying to turn yourself into morning TV with the censorship.
How about no, at most what they should do for their audience is ensure sensitive info is flagged, and maybe ensure it’s filtered by default (but fully override-able by the viewer.) Free expression, even in privately owned spaces, is way more important than the slippery slope toward censorship, which you’re finally facing the inevitable consequences of now.
2nd story: Crazy that none of Kate's family wants to be involved in HER children, yet they expect the woman who was cheated on while married to raise the affair babies? HELL NO.
Blame Karen and her 12 and 42 year old basement dweller sons for this. Yes, Karen families are so messed up that there's a 30 year age difference between two siblings, yet they have the exact same level of lack of maturity.
I truly believe that story two wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the Dad telling EVERYONE including two young children that OP's Mom is going to be their "new mommy"... HE decided to cheat, HE decided to have multiple kids with the other woman and now HE thinks HE can decide this for everyone because it is easier for him... I really feel for those kids but he should have been there to make up for their loss not declaring a "new mom" to take the pressure off of him... He figured he could guilt his ex back into their lives with the innocent kids in this situation and when that didn't work he kept lying to his kids; so now they have this twisted mindset that OP's mom doesn't want them when it is far more complicated then that... Think of all the times he would tell them to throw themselves at her in the hopes she would take them too and be their "mommy"... That is not a good thing to instill in a child and I see abandonment issues in their future. "Our mother passed, our father didn't want to deal with us so he would make us try and get our half siblings mom to "mother us" and when that didn't work he turned on our half siblings who already barely wanted anything to do with us..." Their dad is forcing everyone to dislike them because of HIS actions...
Omg, that last one had me TRIGGERED! I’m nearly 40 and this is STILL HAPPENING to me! The worst part is that I’m stuck living with my parents for the foreseeable future due to financial issues. It makes me sooooo angry when boomers do that to their adult children. Like, I’m not sitting on my butt all day doing nothing! I have a job to do! And just because they don’t work from home, they think I’m free to do whatever they need! I have set my boundaries, but they don’t care about those either. I’m constantly defending myself trying to make them listen. Ugh!!! It frustrates me to no end!
I heard/read that funeral story several times now, it still chills me to the bones that OP is so plain happy with someone else's death.... And that fourth story, I wonder if the fact that OP's daughter has a girlfriend has anything to do with all the resentment against her.
Story 4: If OP is paying for his daughters education he then is paying her so she works for him or risks losing her funding. However, if he does not then determine what you are willing to lose if you decide to go down this road. On one side you get rid of a group of people that are no longer a concern for you in regards to holidays, illness, etc. but, if you are the type that needs family ties you should be careful.
Fun fact: I literally cannot do physical labor. I've tried, REALLY tried and damaged my body in the process. When I desperately needed work, I tried landscaping with my brother. We did a half day doing planting (easy stuff) and by the end of the day, me, a 19 year old, had to be literally carried by my bro into the house because I couldn't physically walk. I've spoken to the doctor and this is because of my autism and how it interacts with my metabolism. Basically, I just run out of energy and build up acid in my muscles VERY quickly. It does go away quicker too, but this means I can only work for say 1 hour at a time before needing a 20 break. So why am I telling this story? Cus I'm a massive nerd. I'm actually a 3D Character Animator, I write novels and scripts for film, I do paperwork and admin for a local dog breeder, etc. As a result, I have 3 computers running almost 24/7 and I'm sitting at my home office for probably 14 hours a day, most days. Is it still "exhausting?" Yes! The mental drain is pretty bad some days and at least once a week I'll just fall asleep at my desk and snooze for half an hour to give my brain a break. When it comes to other people I know, friends or family, half of them get dizzy just watching me work. My mum can't even watch if I put CZcams tutorials on the living room TV for my 3D work. According to her "It makes my head hurt, all the spinning, etc." Funner fact: My current girlfriend works at Amazon packing and unpacking the delivery trucks which is very labor intense. My ex worked in the mines, driving and operating the dump trucks and loaders which is very labor intense. My ex before that was a martial artist and professional soccer player. This results in a running gag in my family, "You can't dispute it.. He's the brains and she's the brawn" lol~
Dear God, imagine the looks of horror that poor husband in the 3rd story will get when people ask why he got a divorce and he replies, "she was happy my best friend died"
The Dad in the last story reminds me of my Dad. When I was in high school, he would constantly complain that I was lazy. I was (almost) a straight A student with a weekend job delivering junk mail. This was around 1990. During the summer, he made me work for him as a gardener. The pay wasn't bad ($8/hour when I was 14, eventually $15/ hour at 17), but the hours were brutal - we left home at 4:30 am and started work at 5, I would push-mow, weed, sweep and dig until noon, with no breaks. Dad would be on his riding mower about 4 hours per day, 2 hours of labour-intensive work, like clearing brush or trimming edges and hedges, and about an hour of standing around gossiping. At 12, he'd go to the pub after dropping me off at the bus stop. About an hour bus trip, a 15-30 minute walk and I was home. Pretty soon, I quit junk mail delivery so I could have weekends off, and it only paid about $2 per hour anyway. When the school year rolled back around, it was back to calling me lazy constantly. So I took a job serving food and drinks at the bingo every Wednesday night, and another, babysitting - usually 3 nights a week. Things cooled down a little, but Dad was not happy that I wasn't home to cook his lunch when he got back from the pub; he only ate once a day, and drank the rest of his meals. So he started demanding that I work with him on weekends. I think he'd gotten used to me doing the majority of the labour. So there I was, working about 30 hours a week and going to high school, and I was STILL lazy. My old junk-mail boss called and asked me to cover for somebody for a few weeks, so I agreed. But those few weeks turned into over a year. In high school, I worked FOUR jobs totalling 40-60 hours per week, just to try to make my Dad be nicer to me. It didn't work.
"AITA for celebrating the death of my husbands best friend?" Holy fuck how can one be so out of touch with reality
Someone who's watched all of those trashy Lifetime dramas and unironically thinks their husband has a double life. That's who. And the comments are locked on that post so everyone else shared the same thoughts.
It sounds to me like she's a total malignant narcissist. Dr. Ramani would have a field day with her.
the worst part that OP husband give her a back out when they start dating and I have no doubt in my mind that OP only married her husband cause she thought after that ring, she could demand him stop hang out with his ex and after what she said about her ex and trying force her husband not to go to the funeral, I won't be surprised that OP husband divorce her
I did customer service and tech support work for over a decade. And yet, I STILL find myself shocked by how STUPID people can be. It'd be one thing if he hadn't been clear about this, but when she admitted he said "This is happening, and if that's a problem for you, say it now because I'll end it with YOU.", she knew what she signed up for. Idiot.
and the op is as stupid as she is heartless. why would she enter into a relationship when some of the conditions to have said relationship were things that she not only made her feel uncomfortable but would make her become more resentful and spiteful. she knew what she was getting into when it came with that relationship and did it anyway despite it making her uncomfortable. she sure lives by some weird logic that most wouldn't understand
Story 3: Worst thing is that op didn't even say the ex was a bad person. Just hated her because she was her husband's ex
She probably thinks, "Isn't that enough reason?"
There was eventually an update and the husband left her.
@@sudettewillis4232LET'S GO!
@@sudettewillis4232 I couldn't find anything on that person's account about an update. Where did you get this information
Story 3: she died on the way to her car after lunch with OP’s husband. That means there’s a really solid chance that OP’s husband witnessed her death, which makes the story infinitely worse.
I’ve mentioned in other posts how both people were not great but for many reasons OP needed to keep her mouth shut like she has for years. He needed to go and should seek therapy
Or blames himself, which of course it's not his fault, but the guilt must be eating him alive
Sounds like Karma to me.
@@analyticalchick3064 You're literally psychotic.
@@analyticalchick3064 How? How is that Karma???
"Insensitive ahole" is an UNDERSTATEMENT for op 3. What an effing monster. 6/5 buttholes. If anyone ANYONE in my life said that to me after a long friendship with someone I genuinely cared for ended due to death, they'd be out of my life. Forever.
More like unhinged
5/5 is usually reserved for litteral child abusers, so 4 in this case is plenty
@@nobodyofconsequence6522 that's true when it comes to rSlash, but I'm going by my personal rating standards for this one.
I'm actually in the husband's situation for this story. My best friend is my ex, he and I literally went through the same motions with the exception of he and I never got married. I'm now with a new man (new in that it's a 5 year old relationship lol) and we're engaged to be married. My fiancé knows and interacts with my best friend. My fiance also knew that trying to remove my best friend from the picture was a deal-breaker for me. There's one major, glaring difference between my fiancé/best friend's relationship and OP's relationship: My fiancé fully accepts and understands my relationship with my best friend (it helps that he also likes him). It wouldn't have even occurred to him to BAN me from my best friend's funeral.
@@SushiKatGamer I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
Story 3.
Being jealous is one thing...
Banning your partner from attending a funeral... That's whole new low...
Not just that. Also openly admitting that you've enjoyed the fact that this person died to a such a degree. Even though said person did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG TO YOU.
Her reaction is weird, is this really the hill she wants to die on? He saw his ex all the time when she was alive but attending her funeral is off limits? Why?
She had her chance to back out before they got married. Her fault for not taking it.
I'd go to the funeral anyways.
"You're not my mom, WIFE!"
she could have said nothing and let him go to the funeral. instead, she let her anger and resentment out.
whoops. couldn’t keep it in while she danced on his friends grave.
Story 2: you know what hurts kids MORE than them not having the love of a mother....telling them that someone owes them love, who doesn't & won't ever.
Those family members who are doing that to those kids are not just heartless, but selfish because they are doing that rather than addressing their grief properly.
the thing is what if this thing is reversed,like,what if the ex-wife then got a new husband later after the divorce.then,they had their child or children.then,the new husband of the ex-wife dies,does the ex-husband would be willing to father her ex-wife's kid/s?
or better yet,the ex-husband approached this matter so rudely and very entitled.the ex-wife could refuse to mother her ex's kid/s,but there's a way she could do.maybe ask more nicely or pay her like babysitter at first or something like it?or better,retry their old love,re-date her or court her again.this way,she would then be their actualt step-mother who could be their mother figure or new mother...
Story 4 OP, YTA. He knows nothing of grad student work. The longer someone is a grad student, the harder it is to do nothing. When the student says they have to stuff to do, the need to be doing it. If OP's daughter followed my education plan, she's been a grad student for 5-6 years. She should be coming to end of her studies, writing and defending her thesis. OP can shove off.
Also even if she had no work to do. The daughter is a 28 year old adult home for a visit. It's crazy that the dad thinks he can assign her tasks like a 14 year old doing chores. LOL And the insanity of trying to control the how/when she does him a favor? While being disrespectful of her and her work? This guy is a complete idiot.
Agreed. I'm in graduate school, doing a research masters. We have four assignments due between Thursday and Tuesday next week. One of my pals on another grad programme is chest deep in work too, alongside placement, work and social life.
It can be very hectic. I have an understanding mum who knows that we're doing our best. This guy needs to have a taste of end of semester grad school..
i mean she is a grown up woman with her own life now..
Agree. When I was a grad student, I can't tell you how many night I stayed up to 3 am grading because my dad had a similar mentality (the physical labor = real work, anything else doesn't mentality). Only difference is I wasn't on a break and had 2 jobs on top of grad stuff. Good on that daughter for leaving for a better environment.
Last story: OP's daughter is working on her PhD. Depending on the size of the college or university, she could have hundreds of tests and papers she is grading. (My husband was a T.A. for three classes while working on his master's, and had over 200 papers to grade at the end of the semester.) That is on top of doing her own research work. Just because her job isn't physical, doesn't mean it isn't hard and stressful.
He also said she was on a break from work. Even if she had no work, by his own words she came there for a visit while on vacation. Who wants to go on vacation in order to work?
@@analyticalchick3064 it might have been a break from classes, but I don't think she was on vacation. She clearly still has deadlines to meet. School break and vacation from work are two entirely different critters. My daughter's elementary school had a three week winter break, the teachers still had work they were doing the first week and training/planning sessions the third week.
Story 1: She's not entitled to anything, and it's not your responsibility to figure out what she is and isn't serious about. She threatened to uninvite you because you didn't get her the most expensive gift on her wish list. She cares more about money and stuff then she does her family she doesn't deserve that money. And tell your DIL, that this does not concern her, she feels so strongly about it tell her to give her daughter the $40,000.
She shows no remorse for hurting OP and spouse’s feelings and never once apologized. She instead blamed it on stress. If she gave a heartfelt apology, not mention that she knows about the money, OP may have given it to her. She chose to be a brat instead.
Air fryers aren't cheap either. They can be like from 100 to like $300. I would never expect anyone to buy me more than $100 gift for a wedding. No matter their relationship with me. I don't know maybe I just have a skewed version of gift giving. But I'm getting married this Summer and there's only two things on my registry that are expensive. That's because the bay where I have my registry you get 50% off two items on your registry that nobody bought for you. So it's a new washer and a new dryer and we will be buying them. At 50% off. That's the only reason they're there I have no expectations for anybody to spend that much money on me. Honestly if somebody couldn't afford gifts I'd rather they just come. Cuz it's more important that my fiance and I's friends and families are at the wedding then gifts. So entitled.
Also, granddaughter clearly has a pattern: get me a better gift or I'll uninvite you to the wedding. Get me my big cash gift or I won't see you at Christmas. Wedding stress my butt, she's just greedy, spoiled and entitled, not to mention bratty.
Hmm. I think we got a whopping $119 (ok, it was early 80s and probably $150 before gas and groceries) total from relatives when we got married. Some nice gifts , too.
But if that money is liltrealy set aside for that person it’s no longer your money it’s there’s
Story 3: This woman is literally Satan. Why on Earth did this guy continue forward in his relationship. This is beyond evil.
So she can say “I have him now so stay tf away ex! 👅” she’s clearly insecure and jealous that the first wife made him the guy she loves now and is being possessive.
Because OP is also a liar, apparently. She pretended to be okay with the friendship for a DECADE.
Why did she? She knew this was a deal breaker and she stayed. That’s messed up imo, considering how she felt.
@@Gravelark That’s not even the biggest issue.
Being insecure to such a degree is being a jerk to those around you. That woman is evil.
my jaw fucking dropped i was so shocked
Story 3 - 100% agreed with your assessment. The woman is a jealous liar. And dumb too because if she would have just waited a few weeks/months for the funeral to be over, her ridiculous mindset would be satisfied anyways. Husband was upfront, this woman lied and needs therapy.
Unlikely, as the husband would probably still mention her here and there, and I'm sure that would not go well even months after.
Story 3: He spent a bunch of time crying, but honestly, I was relieved.
Honestly, this guy deserves to divorce op
Right who the F says they're glad someone close to there partner died? like girl do you even have a heart or is it just a toxic zest pit?
Would you really still be married to someone THAT insensitive? Infact screw "insensitive". She's downright vile.
@@shadowmewfred09 I can understand her finding the relationship inappropriate but holy shit she still needs to have some compassion.
More than that, I pray to heaven that they have separate bank accounts. OP seems like she's not above financial abuse and withdrawing money from a joint account so husband couldn't attend the funeral.
1000%! She is horrific
Story 4: A clarification about the last story: OP manages a fulfillment center. Not works, not owns, manages. He's so used to telling people what to do that he thinks he can do it to his own daughter with impunity. I would *hate* to work for this guy; if he treats his daughter this bad, I can only imagine how badly he treats his workers.
Management isn't work?
@@DrunkSamurai There's a difference between managing a center and working at one. He doesn't tend to the people, he orders other people to tend to them and makes sure the place is running properly.
@@DrunkSamurai considering that dad thinks that sitting at a computer isn't work... By dad's own logic he isn't isn't working 😂
@@AzureKyle Sure if you don't know what the definition of work is.
@DrunkSamurai I'm not saying it isn't work, but they're not working at the center, they're not taking care of the patients, they're managing the people who do. There is a difference between managing a place and working at it. There is also a difference between work as a general term, and working at a place.
story 3: i haven't even finished the while thing, but the fact that he literally TOLD HER 'let me know you have a problem now before we get serious' and she ignored it and continued on while hating this other woman is making my blood boil. he communicated his boundaries and wants with her, and she bulldozed them.
This. He literally set the boundry at the start of the relationship.
@@GoldenSunAlex It's not a boundary so much as a huge red flag she chose to ignore.
@@analyticalchick3064 Only a red flag if she's paranoid and unstable.
Anyone viewing this as a red flag is almoat certainly one of those 'I don't want you having female/male friends' controlling types.
@@GoldenSunAlex He was literally going on dates with his married ex-wife and pretended she was just a friend. He also said he wanted the ex more. Though, clearly that wasn't an option or they would have stayed married. If you think that's not a red flag, I can only imagine what men pull on you. Personally, my husband doesn't continue to date his ex girlfriends and I'm the only wife he's ever had.
@@analyticalchick3064 That's not even what the op said rofl.
As someone who is going to school to become a teacher, I'm going to argue that grading papers is a bit stressful, especially if you are on a time crunch. Doesn't matter if she has until the following week to submit it, maybe she doesn't want to proscinate until the last minute.
It also doesn't matter if she was just spending her down time...relaxing! OP doesn't get to consume her time just because. Also what's this bullshit of TELLING a 28 year old to run your errands? Uh, how about ASKING if she will do these things for you and then being happy to let her decided WHEN so long as she gets them done by the time they're needed? The dad is clearly a disrespectful idiot who doesn't acknowledge his daughter is another adult.
@@fdm2155 agreed. It is her off time to do as she pleases.
yeah, i agree here. unrelated but procrastination is one of my biggest weaknesses, i often procrastinate on doing stuff
Why did OP need the sweater changed today rather than tomorrow? Would some evil person take all the nice ones?
@@fdm2155- that OP sounds exactly like my mother. I guarantee OP has been doing this forever. The kids get volentold for things they have no interest in. They are expected to come home for every holiday, even when we have other family to visit. And if OP happens to see one of his kids sitting around “doing nothing”, they get assigned a task that OP needed to do, and it has to be done immediately, if not sooner. Chances are, when the kids were little, if they saw OP coming home, they’d scatter to other parts of the house before he could see them while walking in and get yelled some chores to do.
Story 4: as someone who is on their first year of the their PhD, F*** this person. Their daughter is working basically all year round in an advanced field and sounds like they are doing Graduate Teaching Assistant work on top of that. Not only that, but they have managed to work out a routine that allows them to effectively get their work done, and their father can’t even give them 24 hours notice on any errands they demand. Just… how can someone not understand that flexible work hours doesn’t mean they have the ability to drop everything and reschedule around someone else’s whims?
that 3rd story is so bizarre. why would the op get involved in a relationship that had a condition she knew she didn't approve of and didn't support. the 3rd op is literally getting into a relationship that she knew would more than likely make her unhappy in the long run which in fact came true in the end. it's just baffling to me that people like op 3 would stupidly enter into a relationship that they knew from the get go would make her unhappy and bitter due to the conditions attached to the relationship
The impression I get is that OP expected she would be given support and precedence as his spouse, but when he would do things like go out to movies with the ex when his wife thought maybe he should be taking HER to the movies on a date instead it could lead to a lot of resentment. He made his wife feel inferior to a mere "friend" in their marriage when he should have her back and support her.
Yeah that is absolutely on her. Did she think that her husband would suddenly just drop his friend? Personally, I think that level of closeness with an ex would make me incredibly uncomfortable. If I was in a relationship with someone who basically said if they had to choose between me and their friend and they said they would choose their friend, I would be gone because I should be the most important person to them. That's all there is to it. This woman was clearly insanely jealous and a cold, unfeeling person in her reaction to her husband's friend/ex dying. She shouldn't have continued with that relationship the moment her husband told her he would choose his friend over her.
Yeah, ESH on this one.
Agreed, she should have just walked away. ESH
I disagree with the “ESH” comments. She KNEW about this going in before they even dated. If she didn’t like it, she could have and should have left. Let the guy stew over his ex, and keep her as a friend and such. That’s his deal and she shouldn’t have gotten involved. He was up front about it, so OP has 0 excuses.
Story 3: Jesus, the way OP talks about her husband sounds like the personification of a dog explaining that because she peed on something, it's hers. YTA. And a sociopathic one at that since she clearly has no effing clue how grief works. The ex's husband calling OP a ghoul is spot on.
Imagine being that dad in the last story:
> Criticized his daughter for having a desk-based job, but he works in an office space.
> Badgers her to do his errands despite her trying to explain her work is time sensitive
> Can't bother to do his own errands because...?
> Ends up making said daughter go to their friend's place to keep working using good ol' /r/Maliciouscompliance energy.
But he’s her FaThER! I hope his younger child is getting pointers from this situation because this can be her future if it’s not happening currently
it was mentioned that the daughter's friend is her girlfriend and iirc, that did make the father mad
@@your_local_questerian The father sounds like a legit boomer.
Many people are like that! If they're not doing the same work as them such as going to the office, then it's not real work! The Father saw her "Working from Home" IE grading the papers as in, "Well she can just put a pause on it and do all these chores that I setup for her b/c she's not really working like me at an office." The Father really has toxic views and I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing all this b/c "She's a woman and not even married yet!"
honestly, i wonder if he'd do all that and say such things if she was his son instead. idk, that guy gave off major sexist vibes.
Story 3: YTA. Calling op "a ghoul" is an insult towards ghouls in general.
My ghoul and ghost friends agrees with you! That story was so shocking and I hope it's not real. Unfortunately, there are people like her so it could be real.
As a proud ghoul I was deeply insulted, that woman is a soulless monster.
@@dragonfliesnh4204 I've had friends like that, and any attempt to explain that friendships with exes are possible fell on deaf ears. I've met men and women like that, and if it's a dealbreaker for them, that's one thing, but knowingly staying in the relationship and demonising others who have these friendships is not okay. What a wretched woman. Ew.
@@ared-ainu I totally agree with you. I have many guy friends. I won't just break off all ties with them just because my significant other is insecure and doesn't trust me. If I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with any of my guy friends, I would have done it before the current relationship. In my past relationships, I had no problems with them being friends of all genders. Trust is one of the most important aspect of a relationship.
Casper has entered the chat
Story 2: Your father just want to replacement mother and since your mom can't cut off contact with him because of the co-parent thing he trying to force it on her. You're absolutely right he cheated on her and obviously she doesn't want to raise his afair partners kids, I feel bad for your half sibling because your dad the one who's forcing them to believe that they're entitled to the woman's love and affection. Your dad need to grow up and realize that your mom doesn't owe him s***.
Agreed. He probably wants babysitting. He wants to have his weeks off when his kids go with his ex. He can't have that if she won't take the other two. No, she doesn't have to love those kids. The only thing she owes those kids is respect the same way you would respect any other human being. The fathers of monster for lying to his kids like that feeding into this fantasy story he spelled up in their heads. His family isn't much better. The only thing they're doing with this behavior is hurting those kids.
Exactly
And he knows he has two years until OP turns 18, leave the nest, and any legal coparenting ends so he wants to succeed with his scheme asap
I wonder and probably not if the dad and his family are giving that same type of energy to Kate's family for not being their actual relatives lives?
Self centered narcissist is appalled that ex-wife won't take his affair children so he can have free time. Or maybe he gets off on the idea of rubbing the affair in her face while making her pay to take care of his new kids.
Story 2: thank you OP for sticking up for your momma....you are absolutely correct, she owes nothing to the affair children.
I just hate that her dad and half siblings gang up on her even after telling everyone the same thing which is the same thing her mom says. It’s not OPs responsibility nor obligation!
@@lorilancaster5917 agreed. And you know it comes from them being too lazy and selfish to put in the work to address things properly or give them the love they need, instead of trying to pawn that off on someone who has no obligation to them.
That last story, I can see how the dad has absolutely no clue what mental fatigue is because he sounds like he's numb from the neck up.
Which will explain his next post, “Why doesn’t my daughter visit anymore?!”
I had a friend like this. He was a truck driver and he couldn't understand how mentally, physically and emotionally taxing waiting tables is. He once told his wife's brother to get a real job. The wife slapped him. “Dealing with people like you, is what makes it hard.”
I were in a similar situation when I worked at a call center - I had 12-hour shifts 3 days in the week and a shorter one, and when I came back after the shorter one and was exhausted, my dad was like, "What were you doing? Plowing with the straight shovel? Chopping wood? Carrying cement? Oh, I remember! You were having thus cushy job sitting your ass all day long and doing nothing, while I bust my behind doing real work!"
Some people just don't understand.
I also like how he called her all those things and all of them applied to him.
Last story relates to my life.
OP dad wanting his ex wife to raise his new kids reminds me of my sister. My sister gets angry with our father because he doesn't want to know about his ex wife's other kids that she had after their divorce. Yes they are my half brothers and I care about them, but they are nothing to my dad and he shouldn't be expected to care about them
The only thing he need know is their names reallly, so when you talk about them he knows who you're talking about.
3rd Story: As someone who ended things on good terms with their ex, I can say that I would not take it well if my partner tried to forbid me from going to my ex's funeral (Not that I believe he would do that, I've made it clear that I no longer have romantic feelings for my ex, and he understands that). I completely agree with OP's husband here. While my ex and I are LC due to our schedules, I would drop everything to be there for him if he needed me, and I know he would do the same for me, because when Hurricane Laura came through my home town, my family evacuated to some friend's and family's homes upstate and I got a call from him the day after it hit checking to make sure I was ok (This was the first time I had heard from him since we broke up). Even if OP's husband weren't in constant contact with his ex, I completely understand wanting a chance to see her in person one last time to say goodbye, as I would want the same. OP, YTA
@@paranormalsnow8030 Bold of you to equate being willing to help my ex if he needed it with me still having feelings for him. There are many types of people in the world, and I'm of the type who would help anyone I care about if I can, and my ex happens to be on that list because he has given me no reason to resent or be angry with him. Obviously my partner and family would come first if I had to choose who to help, but if my ex-or anyone else I care about, for that matter-asked for my help, and I know there's nothing happening in my life at the time that would stop me, I would help them.
@@paranormalsnow8030 I understand where you're coming from, but I still believe you shouldn't jump to conclusions if you don't have all the facts. "I would drop everything to help them" applies to everyone I'm close with, and based on the context I have provided I shouldn't have to explain why that applies to my ex. And while yes, I would say our relationship ended on good terms, I did not mention specifically *how* it ended, or what emotions we felt or what events were occurring at the time it happened. It's perfectly normal to be in a platonic relationship with your ex if you don't/didn't have any bad blood with them, and as long as my partner understands the situation, which he does, and does not try to create something in his head where there is nothing to interpret, there's nothing wrong with it when you're in a relationship either. You recall that I also mentioned the my ex and I are LC. And while "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," the absence of a person one might've already been growing apart from will not necessarily generate stronger feelings as much as it would reinforce the decline in romantic interest. Like I said before, I understand where you're coming from and why you would think that, but I would appreciate it if you didn't make assumptions about my love life when you don't have all the details.
@@paranormalsnow8030 no worries, to each their own. It's perfectly fine an natural to ask questions when something either seems sus or doesn't add up. I just prefer to ask first and then come to a conclusion based on the answers I get.
Story 3: The fact her husband has a good relationship with his ex is good thing. Most breakups dont go over well. I hope OPs husband divorces her behind ASAP!
Exactly. I know a girl from HS that divorced her husband recently yet they have an AMAZING friendship. They openly admit they work MUCH BETTER as best friends than as a couple. Sure, they have kids, but the regularly hang out just because. Some people just don't work that way.
Agreed
Somehow I don't think OP will be her soon-to-be-ex-husband's best friend.
She shouldn't have stayed in the relationship when he said "I will chose her over you." Honestly, even though none of my breakups ended on bad terms and it was mutual, I couldn't be friends with any of my exes. There's too many feelings there and I find it very strange when people stay friends after a breakup. The woman had a problem with him being friends with his ex, she should've left. That's just that.
@@toothless3835 honestly, i see that a good sign. it says a lot about you as a person on how you value your relationships, new and old. she was a new girlfriend and new relationships should never be valued higher then older ones. at the time when he said that they had only been dating a few months. a relationship of a couple of months can not be stronger then one of years which included a marriage. its a good sign imo that he isn't the type of person to throw away all his relationships for sex, because at that point it is just sex, you can't claim to truly love someone until you know them fully, and you can't know someone that deeply in such a short amount of time.
Decades ago I would go to my parent's home for a week at Christmas. The entire time I was there my mother would question my comings and goings, my friend choices and about every other decision I made. I started booking a hotel during visits and the complaints became I was wasting my money. My response was "It's my money and your complaining is uncalled for. I won't be back." I skipped the holiday visit for a couple of years and she called to tearfully apologize. I agreed to attend but continued to stay at a hotel during the visits. I found out some years later that my dad had told her "Make it right or be ready to spend Christmas by yourself because I'm going to his house."
Some parents have a very difficult time transitioning from treating their children like children to treating them like adults. They tend to be the types who treat their kids like extensions of themselves.
I didn't have this issue because I took the years where my kids were 17 & 18 & told them that they'd get to take the lead on their decisions. I'd just there for backup & advice. I started slowly handing over management of their lives to them & standing next to them in case they had any questions or they needed backup.
It worked beautifully. I'll use my youngest as an example. She is 19. She went out & got a job that started her at $23 an hour last July & she applied for a promotion in early December that she just had an interview for a week ago. She still discusses things with me to make sure she isn't missing some vital detail but she's confident in herself & her abilities so she goes for it. If she stumbles or falls, I'll help her get up & get going again (like I would for all of them) but I have every confidence that my kids will be good.
@@tazhienunurbusinezz1703 It took me moving out of the house for my Mom to stop treating me like I was 16 and not someone in my late twenties/early thirties. I do have a good relationship now with her. But there was a lot of resentment building up.
@@LilDevyl17 I'm really sorry. Parents need to get so much better at planning for this very natural transition. Kids should never have to wrest control of their lives away from their parents. They should be given it wholeheartedly & the parent then is just like an advisory board instead of active management.
Story 2: the audacity of some people... this loser cheated on his ex, and now wants her to be a mother to his affair children? Nope, not happening.
Story two is really simple. No one is the A except for the father. He's the one who had an affair, so he can't expect his wife (or ex-wife) to mother the kids he had through an affair.
There are families that coparent as a group. I've been involved in that. But it should never be the expectation and that's what OPs dad did. He expected that because Kate was going to be a mother to OP and her brother that the roles would be flipped when Kate died. That's not how life works.
@@anarchyvixyn hands down. In a situation where something like this happens, the most ideal situation is the coparenting one. What the man did was definitely NOT that.
First Story, NTA: Wow, OP's youngest daughter brought this on herself. All she had to do was patiently wait. Not to mention how ungrateful she is.
Second Story, NTA: While I feel for Tommy and Ellie because they are innocent and want a mother figure; however, it can’t be helped that OP's mom can’t be that mother figure to them. Also, why is all of this being placed on OP's shoulders? OP is a child herself and her dad and uncle cornered her and asked her why her mom won’t do this and that? OP's dad is scum to cheat on his wife and get the other woman pregnant AND expect OP's mom to just be happy and loving towards these kids knowing the pain he caused her
Third Story, Major YTA: I didn’t finish this yet but from what I’ve seen so far oh my god OP. OP honestly shouldn’t be dating let alone getting married if she is this insecure. "He spend a bunch of time but honestly I was relieved" who feels that way over someone's death?! OP's husband needs to see the red flag OP is right now. SHE WAS MARRIED TOO, so why is OP so jealous?! Yo, OP is messed up on all kinds of levels
Fourth Story, YTA: Just because the work isn’t in an office or is back breaking labor doesn’t mean it isn’t work. What is stopping OP from getting off his ass and getting these things himself? OP needs to stop being lazy and stop expecting his daughter to be a free delivery service
But doesn't is kinda funny that the granparents still expect her to come to christmas dinner to their House after being the only one Grand sibling or the only couple that didn't got the 40k? Like everybody in that celebration would have got a huge give to start a new life and she was tested and failed and now have to see all the people that got the money that she didn't, is a bit delusional to expect her to be okay to attend a celebration in the House of the people that she is mad with because they tested her and she fail
This case is completely different, but there is a point where someone's death is a relief to people. Of course it's mostly reserved to truly awful and evil people. OP is nuts.
for the final story, i'm glad op's daughter put her foot down and telling him she was not doing any more favors for him. i don't blame her at all.
@@marjoriejohnston4905 I’ll be relieved when my mother and brother die, purely because they massively abused me as a child. That relief will be very private as I won’t have to worry they’ll track me down, try and get strangers to harass me on their behalf, where I won’t have to worry all the time that they’ll somehow find me.
I’m not going to shout from the rooftop however, it’ll be a quiet relief that I’m fully free from my abusers who gave me nerve damage and PTSD. But this woman in the story? YIKES, YIIIIIKES. Like imagine being so jealous of a friendship that you gleefully celebrate an innocent woman’s death and then post online
“AITA for rubbing this woman’s death into my husbands face, for gleefully celebrating and trying to control my husband”
@@ZombieSazza I know the feeling. My FIL is just that type of a-hole.
As a Professor’s daughter, I can testify how much time professors work. I grew up watching my Dad work 80 hours per week minimum. It’s an incredibly busy and tough job.
Being a Professor is so tough that my Dad was grading papers the day after he suffered a stroke (he’s okay now).
i'm glad your dad is okay now. i hope you both have a nice day.
I love how they said "other mystery work is"
Oh, I don't know....assessments, grant application for research, funding applications for her PhD, search strategies for systematic reviews... It's that time in the year when a lot do things are/were due (depending on the uni).
I'm a master of Research student, and we have four assignments due between Thursday and next Tuesday. This time of the academic year is always hectic.
I'm glad your dad's okay, strokes are awful.
I'm a professor and I was back to work the day after Christmas. People think we only work during the semester, but most of us all workaholics all year round. It is very engaging work, but it makes it very hard to have a work-life balance.
1st story:
NTA of course, it's op's money and she showed quite clearly how much her grandparents money vs their presence means. Plus what she did by threatening uninvite from wedding and refusing Christmas is a thing called emotional blackmail
Exactly
She’s asking for any inheritance she will receive be donated to charity instead
Actually, it’s straight up blackmail imho. She’s threatening things in return for money? Yeah, blackmail, full stop.
Notice that the granddaughter didn't apologize. She excused her behavior. If she did that cause she was stressed, she would have apologized after. As rslash said, it was just about the 💰 to here
Exactly, and anyone who has actual remorse shows it BEFORE finding out they missed out on something.
I feel so bad for the grandmother and she sounds so wonderful and caring. Not everyone can afford to give a gift to a couple who are getting married and just being at the wedding should be considered a gift. The grandmother even bought something on the registry instead of getting something with an off chance they may not like it! If the granddaughter doesn't change her outlook and treatment towards her grandmother, hopefully she will regret her behavior when grandmother passes away as she deserves to have regrets for the rest of her life.
@@SoManyRandomRamblingsYeah, and she didn’t even do it after! Owning your mistakes goes a long way with most people. But if she had humbled herself enough to do that, she’d also recognize that her grandparents were within their rights to withhold the money.
Third story--I disagree with Rslash--Setting a boundary like "I don't want you having any friends of the opposite sex" is a HUGE red flag. That's NOT a boundary that's ok--it indicates a very manipulative and controlling mind.
And says you don't trust them
TH iiiiisss.
I also was taken aback but upon a second listen I think he meant if both parties consent to said boundary which is perfectly acceptable as toxic as it is.
@@paranormalsnow8030 If your relationships are so fragile that being friends with someone would jeprodize that you have issues.
@@paranormalsnow8030 if your SO going out alone with friends is enough to make her cheat she wasn't worth it in the first place 🤷 no person who actually loves their partner would cheat on them
4th story: I think I'm getting a clue why OP's daughter minimizes her time at home. I bet she's just waiting until her sister moves out to go completely NC, and good for her if she does. OP YTA.
Lol no contact for bugging her not understanding her work. Do internet people burn all their relationships annually? There's no way people you know have never irked you.
@@mariposa9506 Why should someone be nice toward a person that refuses to return the favor? Give me one good reason, I'll wait.
@@WolfODonnelfan can you vague that up a little more?
@@mariposa9506 Why should the daughter do anything for a father that treats her like a slave and complains about her when she literally does what he wants her to when he tells her to 'leave his house'?
@@WolfODonnelfan Where did I say she should do anything for him? Please read my comment carefully and quote the passage where I said this. I'll wait. I said going NC is a ridiculous overreaction to an argument with your parent. The story doesn't talk about a lifetime of abuse or shitty treatment. The story talked about a parent not transitioning to viewing his daughter as an adult with work commitments. Families can be jerks sometimes. They can be short sighted self centered sometimes. Adults find ways to deal with each other. Sometimes they learn. Going no contact with a parent over this story is ridiculous, and I was laughing about this comment in particular and these types of overreactions as a whole from people. You'd think people never had an argument before or were annoying themselves from time to time.
The OP in that last story sounds like such a bossy and controlling Boomer. They do realize that the daughter is a grown woman with her own job and life, right. I’m surprised they figured out how to use Reddit. They probably had a lot of help from their other kid.
story 2 NTA if OP's half-sister and half-brother so badly want a mother, OP's father can just find a girlfriend it's not the job of his ex (whom he also cheated on) to fix things up
I’m surprised he didn’t go wife shopping while his current model was at the shop?
I would imagine Kate’s family pretty much disowned her when they found out she was a homewrecker.
If that is the case, then OP’s mother and Kate’s family are my favorite characters in the story
I’m also curious about the age difference between OPs dad and wife 2.0
Disown her when she’s alive, sure. But when she passed away, that’s a whole different situation. They should have wanted to be a part of her kids’ lives and I think it’s cruel and heartless that they weren’t personally.
@@guitarbass22 I’m wondering if they even know she passed away?
@Lori Lancaster normally when you disown somebody you cut contact with them completely. I wouldn't be surprised if they went the nuclear angle and don't even know that she's dead
@@lorilancaster5917 That makes it look even worse on the father.
Story 3: What the peck is wrong with OP? Like, breaking a friendship just to be with someone? Heck no! That's toxic as s**t!
As RSlash said, OP definitely was glad that the friend died, and it's really telling
ESH in the story. OPs spouse made it clear that his ex will always be a priority and if she has a problem she can leave. Easy for me to say but OP should’ve walked away right then. He showed no interest in any concerns OP may have nor did it show that he placed higher priority to OP other than marrying her. Again instead of getting out or requesting couples counseling, she stewed in her emotions knowing that he wouldn’t listen. She let herself be treated like a mistress
@@lorilancaster5917 No way. The wife is clearly the AH.
the husband said he wouldn't sacrifice his friendship for a romance, and that is a perfectly reasonable stance.
And if a wife/husband demands you pick between your best friend or them, said person is worthless keeping around and should be thrown away like the garbage they are.
@@lorilancaster5917 want to sleep with unhinged people
@@miniman649 This. It seems like it was fairly early into their relationship so ofc he's gonna choose his best friend over his new girlfriend.
He set some very clear boundaries and op ignored them for years and years.
@@lorilancaster5917 He TOLD her this, though. He told her. She had a chance to back out, and didn't. She lied to him to trap him into a relationship. She's TA, fullstop.
I'm sorry, but I had to laugh out loud at the last story. I'm 65, my kids actually get mad at me for doing stuff for myself. Last summer I moved my old dryer outside to make room for a new one. Boy, did I catch hell for not waiting for them to help me. I don't know why, I hike 2 to 4 miles a day and go snowshoeing for an hour or more in the winter, if there is enough snow. I believe some people view their children as little pack horses and as a way to shirk responsibility.
In story 4 that guy is projecting so hard lol. My parents have never done that to me. Anytime I’ve been in school and had homework and they had to ask me to do something, they made sure they only asked if they absolutely needed to-and that’s not something I told them to do: that’s something they did themselves.
God damn the 3rd story is so heartless. He told her a few month into dating before she even met the ex aka his friend the deal, she accepted it and despised this woman who hasn't done anything to her. (If she did op would've stated it, because she very much just hates this woman) the only reason we know of is that she had the nerve to be married to her husband and then stayed friends after the divorce. Op is a bitter and spiteful person, so angry at someone who hasn't done anything wrong. Op is so jealous of a now dead woman she isn't there to comfort her husband. I hope he divorces her
I agree with you. It's was shocking to hear about OP's lack of compassion and empathy, especially towards a person who did nothing wrong. Being jealous of a dead person is horrible on so many levels. OP's husband was upfront and honest about this from the beginning! Not every bad situation or period of time calls for divorce, but this one certainly does. I feel so bad for the husband and the new widower for losing someone they love.
My parents had a rough marriage but they got closer after they divorced and were much better off just being friends. My ex-stepfather wasn't jealous of my dad or vice versa. Some people really can be friends with an ex and have no romantic interest for them. It's wonderful when that happens, as it doesn't always work out that way.
Last story reminded me of my father. I surprised everyone by deciding at the last minute to go to collage and get a degree (scholarship offer). My dad called me lazy, that I didn't want to actually work for a living. When the scholarship ran out and I still had time to go, he refused to pay for my schooling so my grandmother ended up paying for the rest of it. He told me that once I graduated I had 3 months to get out which I did gladly (later he denied ever telling me this). After he died my mother told me that he was proud of me, it would have been nice if he had been able to tell me himself.
No way in hell I would ever play mommy to your deceased affair partner’s children
The mother said no, OPs brother likely has told them no, and now he hopes to break his daughter where other attempts failed. I wouldn’t be surprised if his next step is to withhold any college savings. His younger kids need counseling not to be used as pawns
Punishing the children for something they never asked for, I see.
@@sersastark punishing? Because they’re owed a second mother? OPs mother isn’t a step mother, she’s the mother of their half siblings.
@@sersastark That's not a punishment. Dad needs to get HIS kids therapy. This is an unfortunate reality of life. Some. Parents. Die. Young.
OP's mom DOES NOT OWE THESE KIDS SHIT.
THEY AREN'T HER'S
THEY ARE THE RESULT OF AN AFFAIR.
They aren't excluded from anything they wouldn't have anyway.
They aren't excluded because they were never supposed to be included and they aren't entitled to OP's mom.
They deserve a mom, THEIR MOM, but not OP's.
Sit down.
Everyone is missing something very important here. The affair partner (who is now deceased) didn’t just appear out of thin air. She arguably has parents and siblings and cousins who are still alive (until we’re told otherwise). Yet the dad makes 0 effort to communicate with them?! Wouldn’t they want to see their daughter’s/sister’s/cousin’s kids? Build a relationship with them? I gave her side of the family 5/5 in my post because of this lack of love, and I’ll stand by that until we get more information.
Story 2: you can’t just cheat on someone and expect to still play happy family with them, he made his bed by putting another woman in it.
Story 3:
Usually when I heard of funerals of exes, I tend to think the current spouse doesn’t want the other spice to go due to stuff like cheating, suspicious moments with evidence, and stuff like that. Similar to the first AITA I (Edit: personally) saw.
But this wife isn’t at all what I expected, and the way she was talking about the friend and the dead in the post uniroically was able to show off a bit more of the red flags more clearer as well
Story 3: YTA. The dude literally told OP he would pick the friendship with ex in the beginning! And reaffirmed that before they got married. Seemingly lied about how ok she was with it just to be married to this guy specifically, and OP stayed and hoped that would change things? Where is OP’s brain?
I agree OP is an idiot for knowing the score and still going through with getting married. However, the husband did also put a "friend" above his wife. It's fine for him to still be friends with the ex, but it's more than reasonable for the new wife to expect him to spend his time with her and do things with her more than his ex. Regardless of their past history, friend should NEVER come before wife in a marriage.
@@Brigand231 when the wife is toxic shit, then yes, absolutely put friends above her.
@@Brigand231 I disagree. I don't think it was friendship over marriage. You shouldn't be asking your partner to abandon long and meaningful friendships for you. If you are soooooooooo uncomfortable, leave and find someone that fits your standards.
@@Brigand231 exactly! OP is a major AH don’t get me wrong but her spouse appears to never show her having more priority over his friend/ex except for marrying her. It sounds like he never had a deep conversation with OP and listen to any issues she may have. It’s been, “This is what it is and if you have a problem there’s the door!” OP should’ve just left
@@Brigand231 Then, OP is foolish because he mentioned a few times the friendship came first. That would be like me whining a traffic cop wrote me a ticket for parking in a no parking zone, despite me thinking it was reasonable since it was a flat space out of the way.
Story 3 :
As someone who's ex is in my life and a close friend, I could have never stood if I had a spouse as terrible as this woman, divorce would be on the table ASAP.
It is entirely possible to have a relationship with your exes that are platonic, just like this guy, my ex and I were really good friends, "tried" out dating, realised we didn't love each other that way when we both felt for someone else, had a chat were we admitted being into someone else, that since we didn't loathed or even disliked each other, why not trying being friends?
The first two years did felt a little awkward at first, especially when you don't know many people around you with an ex still in the picture(in a healthy way), then it was back to the great friendship like before we dated, with the knowledge we don't love each other to the point of being a "thing".
Since OP didn't mentionned anything her husband did that sparked real worries, I'm assuming she just went and decided this girl was competition, since she "won his heart once, could prob win it again" or some mentality like that.
She forced herself to be unhappy, she "sucked it up", because she knew he would never let that friend go, instead of accepting that this relationship wasn't for her and leave.
I love it absolutely love it when somebody gives an ultimatum and when that ultimatum backfires because the one who received the ultimatum didn't do what they wanted just pick the other option and they're all surprise Pikachu face. He told her she could go somewhere else if she didn't want to run his errands so she went and stayed somewhere else. Love it
Edit just like the first story with the granddaughter saying if you don't give me the money I won't come to christmas. You know what I'd say to that well with your deplorable behavior on the phone if you don't want to come to Christmas then don't come. But you're not getting that money because of the way you acted. And I wouldn't say she has three wonderful grandkids I'd say she's got two
In the words of Jenna Moreci: "Just because my workspace happens to include my bed, doesn't mean I'm not working"
Your response to that last story had me laughing so hard. EXACTLY my reaction! What a piece of work. I feel bad for his wife and kids.
“am i the A” sounds so cursed
Agreed, I'm expected to hear "Butthole" like usual, or the standard "Asshole". But I didn't expect "A".
@@Blue2x2xSOunds like more YT BS to me.
@@kespeth2 Looking into other comments, it seems that the case that the "Butthole" we all used to, would also get demonetized now.
goddammit youtube...
Especially with a pfp like mine
I guess i am the A
@@Blue2x2x but,, but thats tradition. He's said butthole for years.
youtube can't do this to us.
Story 3: OP is the kind of woman who thinks men can't be friends with women without it being sexual... but probably thinks women can be friends with men without it being sexual. FFS, maybe their marriage ended because they wanted different things out of marriage or feelings changed over time but, they still grew very close during their marriage. I feel you do need to be friends before marriage and while stepping back from marriage to friends again can be awkward and difficult, it isn't always the case and it can be natural. Did OP even learn why they didn't stay together and why he's so close to her? Like, he's being upfront with it and the ex's spouse even doesn't have an issue with it. So what's the problem?!
I have endometriosis and these videos really help me ignore the pain. Also regarding the first story, my whole life until I was 14 when my grandmother died, I got crochet pot holders as christmas and birthday presents from her. They were acrylic so even if I was old enough to use them they were not heat proof. I was still happy, because it's the thought that counts.
Have you thought about framing them and having them on a wall?
@@lorilancaster5917 I sewed them together to make a quilt!
@@francescaperron2003 awesome 😎
I'm glad you defended the PhD student. Indeed, the "time off" between terms can be quite busy. When I was a student, I did research or graded or just had to sleep off an intense term. One time, I think I went overseas to pulll a week of 8 hr + days at an archive reading microfiche (the young folk can Google that) and microfilm. You lived your own work versus the stuff you needed to do to complete course requirements. Sure, there can be down time, but it can be patchy, too. And often only you know which is which and when.
The 4th story reminded me of my moms current partner. For 9 years (up until Feb. of 2021), I was an in home health aid. He told my mom and my grandma that I needed to get a real job.
Last story: Did you really think that someone was going to agree with you? Like when you reread this post before laying the internet redid that someone was going to say, OP you're right, she's not going to work till her job doesn't matter because the important thing is you need to get your work done so she should be your little Aaron girl and do all your chores for you? Just because it's a different kind of job than yours doesn't make it any less a job, your time is not more important than her's, and if it was so important you should have made time for all of these chores so you could do it without stressing about your job, that's your own fault. Also why are you mad that she left? You told her to leave if she refused to do what you should have already done, you did this not her.
Story 3: As someone who has recently lost their stepdad, I would have been very hurt and confused if his ex-wife hadn't had come to his funeral. They were very close and friends before, and after, their marriage/divorce. She knew him most of his life, they had a son together, and they were practically family.
It hurts to see how some people can't understand that you can be friends with your exes. Sometimes you think it's right, but it's not.
Also, in the story, the friend had an aneurysm on the way to her car?? So, was OP's husband actively with her during that?? Imagine how messed up that would be. Your friend of 20+ years passing in front of you and your wife is like, "Oh wonderful, this is great. Now you don't have to see her or hang out with her, you can spend all that time with me and doing what I want." That's beyond messed up. Your mental health is so important, especially after losing a close loved one, and OP does not understand her husband and his feelings at all. I wish the husband and the ex-wifes husband the best through their grieving and processing.
The only advice I can give is: Let yourself cry, let yourself feel your emotions. Do not bottle these up or hide how you feel. Enjoy the little things that come along, and allow yourself to find little bits of peace along the way. She would want that for you.
I stg some people on aita will just say the most ridiculous stories, like “aita for punching a baby because it was ugly” and they genuinely think they were in the right.
The fourth story sounds familiar to me. I have a part time job which is my main income source and a second part time job which is helping a friend set up a business, basically a WFH job building some software for them. My stepdad refuses to accept that anything productive could be done on a computer so over the last few months has been dragging me away from getting paid work done to do shit he needed help with or couldn't be bothered doing himself.
Story 4: I bet you the comments of the post said the same thing, asking "Well why didn't *YOU* do it then?"
This guy is lazy, entitled, and really, really childish
They absolutely did. His excuse over and over was "Because SHE had the time to do it and should have done as I asked also SHE LIED about when grades were due!"
Note: The grades had to be posted PUBLICLY by Monday night. He found it on the university website. Her internal due date was probably Sunday so the professor could review them
The 4th story: this is how my dad is. Things that aren’t hard labor isn’t a hard day of work. Going to school isn’t hard. Then wonders why his kids don’t talk to him.
Last story: I have a variation of the idea "no psychical work = no real work" in my family:
The higher your education, the more your work is worth. Before moving out, I would do more chores than my father, as I failed at uni and he has a diploma. Doesn't matter that I esrn more than my mom, she has a diploma, and I don't. Doesn't matter that I leave home before anyone else and come home later than most. I failed uni, so I do the chores.
Didn't realise how messed up my life was until I moved out.
The last story sounds 100% like my dad always want things done his way and now but can’t do it himself
Story 3: OP reminds me of my ex-husbands 2nd wife, except she treated me like *I* was the other woman from the moment she met me, before she started actively trying to isolate him from his friends (especially me). His new girlfriend is super chill about my existence. Hooray civilized divorce.
Story 1: She doesn't care about the fact that her grandma is there at the wedding with her, she only cared about the MONEY. I don't want to say it but, she's a gold digger. NTA 100%.
Just what I’m thinking. I had no relationship at all with my grandparents and none were alive for my wedding. People have to examine what’s really valuable in life.
I don’t usually comment on videos, but oh my God the third story is so awful. How could someone be so cruel to someone that they supposedly love? It makes my heart break for the husband. He basically just found out that his wife is an evil person. My God…
Not allowing your spouse to have friends of the opposite sex is more of a red flag than anything. :l
Story 3: She is _happy_ that somebody is dead?! Husband, _run!_ Run away and do not look back!
The 4th story... She doesn't hang out with y'all the whole time because you don't respect her time. What an idiot. It'd be different if she said she was going out. "Oh can you drop by the post office and pick this up while you're out?" THAT'S okay. But she's WORKING. She'll likely ghost them someday for good and they won't figure out why.
Story 3: Jesus Christ dude. I understand being uncomfortable and paranoid about your partner being friends with an ex, I’m pretty sure most of us have been in that boat before, but like the husband said she had her chance to back out but didn’t, so all the subsequent anguish is all on her. And her reaction to the death is nuts! You don’t get to decide who someone mourns and for how long. And what she wrote, aside from being just heartless and cruel, is actually kinda funny cuz she sounds like she implying that she’s afraid her husband is gonna cheat on her with his dead ex wife if he goes to the funeral
10:58 ONLY 4? SHE DISRESPECTED ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN HER HUSBANDS LIFE WHILE HE WAS PROBABLY DEPRESSED BECAUSE THE SAME PERSON DIED, INSTANT 5/5 Score
Story 3, while having that close of a relationship with an ex is kinda weird. Being in a romantic relationship with someone does mean that you accept their past, and who they are. OP's husband even checked a few times to make sure OP was good with it. If OP seriously had issues with it she should have backed out 10+ Years ago. If she can't be bothered to support her husband in his grief.... I feel super bad for the husband.
The two husbands are bending over backwards for a woman basically with two men. The OP must be fat or ugly or something to have put up with this then try to get upset with this later.
Story 3 : that OP is such a AH for saying that kind of stuff I wonder how the man didn't just burn that marriage the very moment she stepped on the girl's deathbed.
She didn't just step on it, she danced a jig on it. That would have absolutely been game over for me, to see somebody I thought I loved behave with such a complete an utter lack of humanity... no. I'd be done.
3rd story: I audibly gasped when wife said "you don't think you're GOING, do you?"
Even if the husband's and friend's relationship WAS crossing a line, the shit she said was absolutely horrific. Friend's husband hit it on the head: she is absolutely ghoulish.
I still remember my dads response to my work. “That’s supposed to be hard?” Even with a lot of physical labor, he didn’t appreciate my job
I am once again nonstop refreshing my subscriptions page waiting for that rSlash upload
Same
Don't waste your time doing that he actually has a set time for every new video for me his videos come out at 10 am AST every moring
@@ryukthegodofdeath5906 I know. It's 3pm here. So once the clock turns 3pm, I keep refreshing until the video pops up. I don't actually sit 24/7 waiting for the next video
Story #2---If OP's Dad wants to make sure that his second family has a "Mother" in their lives he should find another woman willing to cheat with him!
Tell her that his wife is still alive and then get her pregnant!
Selfish loser 5/5AH!
He wants his ex to be the Mother to the children he spawned by cheating on her?!
No, he wants someone else to do the job of parenting that he is too selfish to do!
I checked the last story, and by OP's replies, he still doesn't get it. He seems to make it a competition over who works the hardest and seems to hate that he can't control his daughter.
Someone is being a spoiled brat for sure - but it's not the daughter. He's definitely one of those types who'd starve because he can't be arsed to make his own plate even when there's food to eat.
Personally I can't get over the fact that the cheapest thing on the registry was an air frier. When I have made registries in the past (wedding and baby) as well as when my family requests a Christmas list I make sure I include very cheap items because I don't know everyone's finances and I want them to feel included and like they are contributing if they want to without it being a burden. I also have young family members who are just getting started in life and I don't want them to stress about their budget. I always include things like washcloths, wooden spoons, consumables ect. Things that are under 10 dollars and often under 5 and I am happy when someone gets those things because it's not about the gift, it's about celebrating with my loved ones. Family shouldn't be about monetary transactions.
Why the change to "am i the A"
Probably CZcams throwing a hissy fit.
CZcams policy change regarding obscenity probably.
I’m wondering the same thing
Probably had issues with youtube for just saying a-hole, wouldn't be surprised 🥲
It's going to take a while to get used to
I don’t care how much I may hate somebody. If they meant the world to somebody close to me, I would be there for them and leave any thoughts I may have to myself because guess what? It’s not about me during that moment! OP is completely heartless for basically celebrating someone’s death in front of her husband and then attempting to force him to not go. I seriously hope the husband had some divorce papers ready after his friends funeral.
My fiance is still friends with 4 of his exes and I'd never tell him he couldn't talk with or see any of them. All 4 of them became my friends pretty quickly into the relationship as well. Don't ask someone to choose between you and someone else cos (spoiler) it won't be you.
I agree, but I also get the impression (and I could be wrong) that the husband in the story chose to do things with the ex that the new wife was excluded from. There was a mention of going to geeky movies, it was made to sound like the wife was never invited and the "friend" was given priority. There's no good reason to be giddy when someone passes away, but if the relationship was always like that, despite being married to the new wife the husband was always going out with the ex and leaving the new wife out of things I can understand why she might be relieved.
@@Brigand231 The fact that OP calls it "geeky movies" means she likely disapproves of these movies or doesn't like them, so even if she was invited she wouldn't go
@@Brigand231 you have to remember this post was written by someone who was extremely biased against and jealous towards his friend so of course she's gonna make it out like she's being neglected. the truth is that people do things without their spouses all the time.
I'm really glad for the person that died story, that RSlash took the side of the husband because yeah, he was up front about his relationship, and she was being very callous about the fact that he just lost one of his closest friends.
Story 2: I agree with OP...BUT I aslo feel awful for those kids...none of this is their fault and I feel like it's fair for them to want to be included in their half-siblings family. BUT it's also fair that OP's mother doesn't want to interact with them. All get 0/5 AH...EXCEPT for OP's dad who gets 4/5 AH and the family that push for it get 2.5/5 AH
Story 1: NTA. The granddaughter should have never been ungrateful.
She was only sorry because she wants the $$$
Story 2: How much you wanna bet the father is complaining IN FRONT of his children?
"Am I the A"? YT must be cracking down hard. :/
*First OP:* OP's granddaughter shot herself in the foot by being a choosing beggar. OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* I feel bad for OP's half-siblings, but OP is right. It's neither her, nor her mother's responsibility to involve them in their lives. None of this would've happened if OP's father hadn't cheated on OP's mom. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* This has to be rage bait, right? There's no way anyone can be that insensitive. OP's husband told OP _at least twice_ that his late friend was important to him, and that he'd pick her over OP. He gave OP two chances to either accept their friendship or break up with her husband, but she did neither. And then to tell her husband not to grieve for his friend that he'd known for 20 years!? OP is definitely TA. I hope her husband divorces her.
*Fourth OP:* I thought OP was her mom for a second.
Just because OP's daughter isn't busy enough for OP doesn't mean she's not busy. And why was OP looking through his daughter's schedule?! OP mentioned his daughter having a girlfriend; I wonder if that's a factor to how OP treats her. OP is TA.
me and two people who also watch this channel also have a hunch if op is against people who are woman loving woman or lgbt in general.
Automatically assuming he's homophobic because he wants his daughter to run a few errands for him while he physically can't during work, awesome 🙏
Am I the A? Seriously? CZcams needs to be restricted in what it can and can't monitor/censor.
Hate, topics relating to people hurting themselves, genuinely dangerous things - yes, of course, that's all a no-brainer, keep an eye on it at the very least.
The occasional "swear" - NO!
CZcams, stop trying to turn yourself into morning TV with the censorship.
TImes forf an online petition, because this has become (please pardon the term) retarded.
How about no, at most what they should do for their audience is ensure sensitive info is flagged, and maybe ensure it’s filtered by default (but fully override-able by the viewer.) Free expression, even in privately owned spaces, is way more important than the slippery slope toward censorship, which you’re finally facing the inevitable consequences of now.
2nd story: Crazy that none of Kate's family wants to be involved in HER children, yet they expect the woman who was cheated on while married to raise the affair babies? HELL NO.
Story 1: The gratefulness test. She failed.
New CZcams restrictions not letting rSlash say butthole, this is the new world everyone and its a sad sad time
Blame Karen and her 12 and 42 year old basement dweller sons for this. Yes, Karen families are so messed up that there's a 30 year age difference between two siblings, yet they have the exact same level of lack of maturity.
I truly believe that story two wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the Dad telling EVERYONE including two young children that OP's Mom is going to be their "new mommy"... HE decided to cheat, HE decided to have multiple kids with the other woman and now HE thinks HE can decide this for everyone because it is easier for him... I really feel for those kids but he should have been there to make up for their loss not declaring a "new mom" to take the pressure off of him... He figured he could guilt his ex back into their lives with the innocent kids in this situation and when that didn't work he kept lying to his kids; so now they have this twisted mindset that OP's mom doesn't want them when it is far more complicated then that... Think of all the times he would tell them to throw themselves at her in the hopes she would take them too and be their "mommy"... That is not a good thing to instill in a child and I see abandonment issues in their future.
"Our mother passed, our father didn't want to deal with us so he would make us try and get our half siblings mom to "mother us" and when that didn't work he turned on our half siblings who already barely wanted anything to do with us..." Their dad is forcing everyone to dislike them because of HIS actions...
Omg, that last one had me TRIGGERED! I’m nearly 40 and this is STILL HAPPENING to me! The worst part is that I’m stuck living with my parents for the foreseeable future due to financial issues. It makes me sooooo angry when boomers do that to their adult children. Like, I’m not sitting on my butt all day doing nothing! I have a job to do! And just because they don’t work from home, they think I’m free to do whatever they need! I have set my boundaries, but they don’t care about those either. I’m constantly defending myself trying to make them listen. Ugh!!! It frustrates me to no end!
I heard/read that funeral story several times now, it still chills me to the bones that OP is so plain happy with someone else's death....
And that fourth story, I wonder if the fact that OP's daughter has a girlfriend has anything to do with all the resentment against her.
a few words: i think the dad (op) is homophobic.
Story 4: If OP is paying for his daughters education he then is paying her so she works for him or risks losing her funding. However, if he does not then determine what you are willing to lose if you decide to go down this road. On one side you get rid of a group of people that are no longer a concern for you in regards to holidays, illness, etc. but, if you are the type that needs family ties you should be careful.
Fun fact: I literally cannot do physical labor. I've tried, REALLY tried and damaged my body in the process. When I desperately needed work, I tried landscaping with my brother. We did a half day doing planting (easy stuff) and by the end of the day, me, a 19 year old, had to be literally carried by my bro into the house because I couldn't physically walk. I've spoken to the doctor and this is because of my autism and how it interacts with my metabolism. Basically, I just run out of energy and build up acid in my muscles VERY quickly. It does go away quicker too, but this means I can only work for say 1 hour at a time before needing a 20 break.
So why am I telling this story? Cus I'm a massive nerd. I'm actually a 3D Character Animator, I write novels and scripts for film, I do paperwork and admin for a local dog breeder, etc. As a result, I have 3 computers running almost 24/7 and I'm sitting at my home office for probably 14 hours a day, most days. Is it still "exhausting?" Yes! The mental drain is pretty bad some days and at least once a week I'll just fall asleep at my desk and snooze for half an hour to give my brain a break. When it comes to other people I know, friends or family, half of them get dizzy just watching me work. My mum can't even watch if I put CZcams tutorials on the living room TV for my 3D work. According to her "It makes my head hurt, all the spinning, etc."
Funner fact: My current girlfriend works at Amazon packing and unpacking the delivery trucks which is very labor intense. My ex worked in the mines, driving and operating the dump trucks and loaders which is very labor intense. My ex before that was a martial artist and professional soccer player. This results in a running gag in my family, "You can't dispute it.. He's the brains and she's the brawn" lol~
Dear God, imagine the looks of horror that poor husband in the 3rd story will get when people ask why he got a divorce and he replies, "she was happy my best friend died"
Hello Sera how are you doing today??
Story 3: I really sincerely hope the husband asks for a divorce from a toxic persone like her.
The Dad in the last story reminds me of my Dad. When I was in high school, he would constantly complain that I was lazy. I was (almost) a straight A student with a weekend job delivering junk mail. This was around 1990. During the summer, he made me work for him as a gardener. The pay wasn't bad ($8/hour when I was 14, eventually $15/ hour at 17), but the hours were brutal - we left home at 4:30 am and started work at 5, I would push-mow, weed, sweep and dig until noon, with no breaks. Dad would be on his riding mower about 4 hours per day, 2 hours of labour-intensive work, like clearing brush or trimming edges and hedges, and about an hour of standing around gossiping. At 12, he'd go to the pub after dropping me off at the bus stop. About an hour bus trip, a 15-30 minute walk and I was home.
Pretty soon, I quit junk mail delivery so I could have weekends off, and it only paid about $2 per hour anyway. When the school year rolled back around, it was back to calling me lazy constantly. So I took a job serving food and drinks at the bingo every Wednesday night, and another, babysitting - usually 3 nights a week. Things cooled down a little, but Dad was not happy that I wasn't home to cook his lunch when he got back from the pub; he only ate once a day, and drank the rest of his meals. So he started demanding that I work with him on weekends. I think he'd gotten used to me doing the majority of the labour. So there I was, working about 30 hours a week and going to high school, and I was STILL lazy. My old junk-mail boss called and asked me to cover for somebody for a few weeks, so I agreed. But those few weeks turned into over a year. In high school, I worked FOUR jobs totalling 40-60 hours per week, just to try to make my Dad be nicer to me.
It didn't work.