r/AmITheA--Hole for Not Becoming a Sugar Daddy?
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:06 This celebrity was rude to my daughter
2:59 My husband wanted closed door alone time with his female friend
7:19 I was forced to tell family my fiancé is unemployed
11:08 First class for them economy for my kids
14:49 I cant be a sugar daddy
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
I _adore_ how seamlessly Rslash slipped into his entitled-woman voice when he realized what was going on.
I know, right??
Is one of my favorite things, I swear.
happened the *second* i read your comment! flawless
You can hear the Karen slowly build up, getting stronger and stronger.
It is a thing of beauty. Lol 🤣
She just went out to celebrate her daughters birthday, and apparently fans can’t respect that celebrities have boundaries too
Ever seen the pictures of celebs out for lunch and there's a whole crowd watching them like they're at a zoo?
@@Niskara yea it’s pretty disgusting
People have this disgusting mindset that "Celebreties owe them because they got there because of their support".
EDIT : I posted this before hearing the end of the post, and damn I was on point-
In OP's eyes, celebrities are 100% obligated to stop what they're doing to accomdate for fans lmaoo. If only OP was living in reality like everyone else
@@Juju2927agreed, that mindset some people have is disgusting. Celebrities are people just like everyone else who are entitled to the same basic rights as everyone else
The gold digger story is a prime example of gaslighting. The parents continuously imply that she is a gold digger and when she calls out his husband for not defending her, he says “no, they aren’t saying that, it’s all in your head”. That’s a massive red flag
Hopefully OP wises up and splits! If the Fiancé and the supposed In-Laws keep harassing OP like that with nothing but not so subtle hints of back handed compliments, snide remarks and blatant insults. Then why stay when the Fiancé clearly values what his family thinks of him first and you last?
Now that his family are berating him for simply being unemployed implies that his family is extremely toxic under the surface.
Dang, I just asked this in a post. There have been multiple stories of people whose in-laws were “nice except for…” and it boggles me every time. Clearly, they are not nice. They are passive-aggressive and manipulative.
@@ReigoVassal
They sound more upset that he's unemployed than the fact that he's lied by omission for months. Unemployment happens, but if your kid feels like they can't come to you when they have a problem(even adult kids) shits messed up. Not saying the parents SHOULD help, but as a sounding board yanno
@@LilDevyl17 she did
Last story, the girlfriend was the one who brought her own friends into the situation to compare the life they get from their sugar daddies to the life he gives her and try to guilt trip or make him feel like he's doing something wrong by not doing the same for her, so I think it's fair for him to follow up on that.
I feel the same and commented someone very similar. I copied and pasted my comment:
Disagree on the sugar daddy post. And disappointed you didn't see this as it was.
It was ok for her to insinuate that he isn't doing enough for her, and make him feel like crap. To talk crap about him, in a sense. But not ok when he gives the same energy back? But using logic instead?
He made a good point. She was being rude by comparing him to others who "do more" for her friends, by putting him down even though he takes care of her 100% financially. Showing her logic isn't "attacking her friends". She's being very entitled. What is she doing in their relationship to get these lavish things she thinks she deserves?
How disgusting is it that she isn't appreciative of someone who loves her and pays for everything for her? Also, if she's not responsible for paying anything what is she doing with her money? Could she not afford things on her own? Teachers may not have the highest salaries, but if that money isn't going to supporting yourself, then it is a lot of money.
Conclusion:
To me, that sounds like she expects him to buy her more things on top of everything he's already paying for, and not wanting to use her own money to buy the things she wants. That's gross.
You said by "attacking her friends" she would get defensive. But it's not ok for her to "attack him" and him not get defensive if the way he cares for her? Sorry slash, you're off on this one
No no the woman can't be wrong. The only time rslash gives women a butthole score is if they are abusing their kids
You known i think be some nasty in her let me explane if she want more and more from op because all of her friends recive more from sugardaddy and when op pointed that be sugardaddy relation she start defense so that be 3 option she knows that but want more .second she doesn't know and she don't want to offense her friends and the third that she want to have sugardaddy and he like op to be him
Sorry Rslash, but a part-time hostess driving a 100k car that was not paid for by Dad, Husband, or Fiancé is absolutely a Sugar Daddy situation. OP did not attack. He accurately described the friends. OP's fiancé comes across as materialistic but also holier than thou. (She wants the lifestyle without her own guilty feelings)
I'm so glad someone else saw this, I was a bit heated when rslsh gave the guy a bit score.
“They never outright called me a gold digger”
Well if you ask me, the mom saying “if the shoe fits” is her practically saying it outright. Like the difference is negligible at that point
Right?! And all the times they said "Only gold diggers do that" I dunno if the weathy speak a different kind of English then us provincial folk, but last I checked that still qualifies as straight up calling her a gold digger.
At this point, this is just lawyer behavior. And there's a reason no one behaves like that outside of a court of law
It sounded like the fiancé is trying to gaslight op when he said that “it’s all in your head” and trying to undermine her perception of reality
@@ashh4929 about only x do that i got a very stupid joke ,there it is ekhem. Do you see the clown that only hetero see?
About that it's obvious if you give the example and point someone who fit for example that you said that
Story 3: Calling someone a gold digger just because their fiancé gets them gifts is just disrespectful. You can tell they saw OP as a gold digger, and they were doing a bad job at hiding it.
Tell that to my boyfriend's family. They haven't outright said the word gold digger but with their behavior they're definitely thinking it.
They WEREN'T hiding it. They were extremely rude about it. She should give the man baby back to his family. They sound awful.
@@paulagoeringer9466 Ha! I know that's right.
TBH, it sounds to me like that family is just used to having a scapegoat to bully over something. Which means either they fabricated the gold digger narrative based on past experiences with the other relative, or the OP's fiancé lied to them behind her back to make them think that on purpose. With how quick they changed focus to him on the mere mention of him being unemployed for a while and their (and his) extreme reactions afterward it wouldn't be unreasonable to believe that he used to be the scapegoat and/or he actively created a narrative to make himself look good. The family might have just found out they were lied to.
One of my exes was like that. We were never married so we kept separate finances and when we lived together we split household expenses based on income. This ex would tell their family that I was bad at money, claiming ex needed to spend their own fun money on bills and groceries to get sympathy gifts, paid-for outings and money. All while I wasn't there to defend myself, obviously. I never failed to pay my part of the bills. Ex simply spent all their fun money too fast and wanted more.
How to respond to: "You know how this looks, right?" "Yes, it looks like my boyfriend loves me a lot, and has great taste in jewelery, and I'm very appreciative"
Story 2: It's not a crime for the husband to be alone with his friend when she doesn't want to be seen crying. I think it's a little too far to say "you always have to make sure it never looks that way" because people do have friendships outside of their spouses. You can't always be afraid to be close with a friend just because it might look weird.
The real issue here is that nobody bothered to inform the wife after they asked her to grab a glass of water, so she just came back and they were... gone, in a room by themselves, with no explanation. You can have all the trust in the world in someone and still find that really weird. It would've been very easy for the husband to tell the wife that he and his friend are going to go hide out in a guest bedroom, so his friend can properly cry without worry. Problem solved. Further issue is the context provided that the friend has problems with the wife, which DOES arouse suspicion.
I don't think anyone here is particularly a butthole or completely innocent, just a really weird situation all around that could've been handled better.
no, that whole thing was disrespectful to the wife. a relationship is also about security and trust, if someone is constantly putting a question mark near that is not ok. your spouse is your priority, you cant be putting their trust in you at risk for a friend. that's disrespectful and callous. this relationship is not a priority.
The wife deserves to be disrespected then if she's that batshit insane to go to automatic suspicions.
Wife is in thr wrong. If shes sus abput her husband talk later. If she doesent beleve the answer relasiomship is over. No trust no relatonship, just toxisity
@@the_eHermit So you know your husband's friend's dog is doomed to die, she's having a rough time with that, she comes over to get support, asks for a drink and when she needs to be alone with her friend for a bit and doesn't want a rando seeing her balling her eyes out, you literally hear her crying, and your first conclusion is something nefarious is going on?
Yeah no that's straight up beyond insecurity issues the wife has. She openly stated those two don't get along with eachother, why in the flying frick would she assume the friend would be okay with her oggling her misery?
they didnt sneak off. they never sat down, she said she just lead her to the living room, husband asked for a glass of water, that's probably when they just decided to get some privacy, or she might've asked if they could talk alone.
the idea of them trying to hide and sneak around the house maliciously is completely irrational and absurd. nooned in their right mind would assume anything wrong with what happened
Story 2: Might be a hot take but I’m so tired of the argument of simple platonic gestures being construed as romantic. Believe me, I understand the suspicion and how it looks weird from an outsider perspective. “Road to hell is paved with good intentions” and what not. But come on, two people of opposite genders can’t hug because… that implies they want to bang each other? Am I missing something?
At the end of the day, you can’t control other people’s perceptions or interpretations of your actions, so this isn’t an issue of privacy or lack thereof, it’s an issue of trust.
Agreed...I don't know why people jump to "He'S cHeAtInG!" like- Huh!?? You can't comfort a friend because it looks sus and ur not the same gender???? Like wtf I don't wanna bang my friends who are girls when I'm tryna comfort them. OP is a little...idk how to describe OP right now but just let the husband comfort his friend who has a pet with cancer.
Yeah especially in that context it makes no sense. They are at OP and OP's husband house and the friends dog got cancer. And their automatic assumption is that something romantic is going on? She clearly doen't trust her husband.
I don't get it either, it's like everyone forgot her dog died of cancer, and shes crying.
its like everyone forgot how much they love their dog if they have one, no ones felt that awkwardness of crying in public, and its like fear takes precedence over trust.
the lack of comments pointing this out is just wild to me, I worry about these people.
This is what I was thinking, when someone's clearly crying and being consoled, you don't immediately go "it's weird that you wanna be alone with her". Like what is he gonna do? Fuck her while you're not only in the same house, but well aware that they're both in that room alone? it's extremely obvious that they're not cheating, to me, at least. I mean, do you like your friends spouse watching you while you're crying?
Exactly, I was so confused. Ops husband just consoled someone the he saw as his sister and Op just barged in on their private and emotional moment. Plus if they were going to fuck they would’ve locked the door.
For story 2, I'm just gonna say that sometimes people aren't totally comfortable crying in front of others except for certain people, so OP's husband could've taken her to cry in privacy, but in that case he should've explained that to OP and then it's problem solved.
I have this problem with my brother
I normally explain after he calm down and we're back to normal
Like "hey sorry if it was rude, we neeeded some time" or if my brother isnt around "hey, sorry my brother needed some time and he isnt comfortable being watched crying/ vulnerable"
He could had planned to talk to Op after his friend calm down, but Op decided to step over his boundaries.
Yeah, it felt more like insecurities on her end. She already explained how she dislikes her, and if she really wanted her husband, then she would have taken him years before they met. Since they are childhood friends. I think their relationship is just close as best friends and trust to talk to him about serious issues. Plus it be dumb for the husband to have an affair with her with op inside the house. I just look at this as someone who doesn't trust other women near her man ever if they are close friends to him.
As someone named Alice, please respect our time with our children, we cant all take pictures
HAHAHA!!!
Will do! I wonder, did u fall down any rabbit holes recently?
Agreed
OMG, are the Alice??? Can I have a photo? (/s)
Never. Now let's take a picture together
Last story: her friends are definitely sugar babies and just because she doesn't like it doesn't make it cease being a fact
She's also a gold digger because he does everything and she still feels entitled to more
Preach!!
I agree with this one, calling stuff their real names are not insulting, it is the truth, if they do not like it, change how they act. People are friends with similar people too, if they are long time friends, not new one still getting to know each other. If they are friends for years, they have same values, same morals and life paths.
Aman 🙏🏼🙌🏽💃🏾
The friends essentially are sex workers. I seriously doubt the older men date and lavish expensive gifts on the friends in exchange for stimulating conversation about the stock market or quantum mechanics. A Lexus buys a lot of Happy Endings.
This
This is kind of an unpopular opinion but in story 2, try to look at it from the friends persepctive. Most people wouldn't like to be seen crying unless its people they trust. Your husband is one of those people. I don't really think that saving a friend from embarrassment counts as a butthole move. That's just my opinion tho.
edit:
turns out this is a quite popular opinion now
Nah, that's a very popular opinion
There's plenty of ways to do that aside from being in a BEDROOM with the DOOR shut.
@@frickfrack7075 agreed, okay she didn't want to be seen crying by the Wife?
Then why go over there in the first place?
Why did the husband have to lie about needing something and then run off somewhere else?
Also OP clarified that the "Friend" crushes boundaries, but people love to gloss over that.
@@mandalorianhunter1 "then why go over there in the first place?"
As if the husband and the friend going someplace else alone won't immediately be seen as even more suspicious
@@hamz5791 It's suspicious either way and from what OP says about the history, it would suspicious all over.
For the flight story... The finance wanted to SEPARATE OP AND HER KIDS on a flight, and then DOWNPLAYED that. It would be interesting to see his reaction if the roles were reversed
I think that he want separator op and her kids period and try to start it with the flight
On one hand a very cynical side of me is saying that there would not be one on the other hand that has more faith in people says it would be the same.
Can you even leave children unsupervised on a plane? Wouldn't they get have to sit with a guardian? She said it was the first time flying for the little one. What if she started crying and the 14 year old didn't know what to do?
Story 3: SIDE WITH YOUR GODDAMN FIANCEE! Seriously, what is so hard about showing support to your significant other?! I would be by my fiance's side and berate my parents for daring to imply my fiancee is a gold digger. NTA.
She’s proving to not being a gold digger by supporting fiancé until he gets back on his feet. Instead he’d rather bite the hand that feeds him
In story two, when the husband closed the door. I thought that the person just wasn't comfortable crying in front of other people except for the person they trust.
Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, or roast me.
No you’re completely right. It’s not suspicious unless you make it. Plus op even said herself that she heard and saw the friend literally crying her eyes out.
Why not just ask op to leave the room instead of the getting a glass of water and relocating. I legit want to know why husband did that.
i was gonna comment something like this but i didnt know how to word it
@@RollingStar04 Maybe he was worried for his friend, and wanted to help out. Perhaps he didn't think clearly.
It happens.
@@rainbowdog.3016 Yeah, it's like rSlash and those siding with him on this point expect grieving people to be totally rational at all times when that's not how grief works at all.
2nd story: Most stories where I see OP describing their SO's interactions I can get a vibe of an affair, but on this case I actually go for the innocent route.
Like, they weren't doing anything inappropiate, she was grieving, was a friend, almost like a sister to the husband in OP's words, and she needed privacy. I know that if a friend came to me and was crying over a dead loved one I would close the door and ask for privacy because that's a vulnerable moment for her, why would it be different if I were a married man?
And even if she was interested in him, is he responding to that or is him just being a friend?
I think that at the end of the day, you don't have to remove from this situations if you don't see anything wrong with them, people can have friends and a life outside their marriage and even if the husband were a cheater, that's on him, not OP, so there's only much one can do.
Don't get me wrong, I can get that OP feels uncomfortable from that interaction, and maybe some context is needed, but just from the post, I think OP was the one who was a little more in the wrong because that was not the time, like, what did she thought would happen, consolation dead dog's s*x?.
I actually would give a NAH, but need for communication.
I mean the husband and friend clearly didn't want to break down over something that didn't involve the wife and be gawked at while doing so. I mean heck for all we know she's probably leaving out or changing parts of the story to make her husband and his friend look bad, she stated pretty clearly that she doesn't like his friend.
Some advice don't ever get married.
@@minakat369 So people shouldn't get married for looking at the situation objectively. Okay.
@@minakat369 Some advice, comments like this aren't constructive.
@@Xershade Outside looking in, marriage is objective: two people united for life by law, forming a household, and a family, and are presumed to be faithful sexual partners.
Inside the marriage, it's anything but objective. Marriage is deeply subjective and differs from couple to couple based on their idiosyncrasies, values, religion, temperaments, and desire to have children.
What works in one marriage might be intolerable in another. Some people have no problem with their spouses having deep intimate friendships that shuts one spouse out. Others don't play that game. Marriage is uniquely personal.
I always love when rSlash switches to the Karen voice when he’s reading a post where it’s obvious that the OP is a Karen 😂
FUCKING SAME MAN LMFAOOOOOO
yeah that's pretty hilarious tbh
Only RSlash can do that! I love it!
It's like watching Bruce Banner turn into the Hulk,lol.
🤣 imagine that
First story: There is that viral Tweet where a Karen was badmouthing Terry Crews for being rude to her at some Halloween event and not getting a picture with her. Then Terry Crews responded and said the Karen pushed his daughter so she could get close to him. Karen's never think about anyone else, but themselves, or see anyone else but themselves. I think rSlash covered it on one video.
You have to be some type of nut job to push freaking Terry Crews daughter. He could literally snap anyone in half. What a entitled moron that Karen was xD
I know Charlotte Dobre did. Don’t screw with the Crews
@@lorilancaster5917 Love her channel 😍
I read that story. What that person did was rude indeed.
Story 3: Am I the only one who noticed fiance's parents uninvited him from Thanksgiving because he's unemployed? He's definitely TA, but that family has such weird dynamics that he's got to be screwed up from it.
Yeah, that's why I'm not crapping on him. Hopefully being basically kicked out of his family due to lack of money to buy his place will wake him up to their abusive and controlling nature, and he'll start to grow and heal. It sounds like he's lashing out because he doesn't understand normal family dynamics and that he did not grow up in normal circumstances.
@@annienunyabiz6627 I would Say it's because his fiance used his weakness to get back at his Parents. I wouldn't trush her with any secrets if she is willing to use them Just to get back at someone hurting him in the process
Sounds like the whole family is obsessed with money and/or materialism. Why would you disinvite someone just because they were out of work? They probably think that if you're unemployed then you're a bum.
I read it as the guy having told or implied to his parents that he had a good job or was bringing in a lot of money to impress them at OP's expense. Maybe even let them think he was the primary bread winner and OP wasn't pulling her weight.
That would explain him getting upset with her, them getting upset with him, and them uninviting him. The weird dynamics would be completely understandable.
I noticed that, too. Clearly, he was raised in a household where a job is mandatory in order to live your life. I can only imagine that he was forced to work as soon as he turned 16. Hell. Maybe even when he was 14 or 15. He probably felt ashamed admitting he was unemployed because he knew his parents would react like this. I don't blame him for being secretive. But he should've defended his wife. She outed his unemployment because he wasn't defending her. If he didn't want to be outed, he should've defended her.
But I totally agree with you. That rubbed me the wrong way and had me thinking about his mental health.
The girl in the last story isn't niave, but wants to play keeping up with the Jones. If her friends aren't gold diggers, they're at least sugar babies, which isn't much better.
Story 3: A partner that doesnt defend you even when you are directly thrashed is a partner that values neither you, your time nor your feelings. He may have (had) money but for every cent he got he lost one part of his common sense and spine. For me something like that is an immediate dealbreaker. It is an ugly trait and just means a lot of drama is coming your way and I aint staying for shit like that.
Fr. I would have left him with his family. Dumped his disrespectful butt right there. I definitely wouldn't want that creature to be a mil. Shudder. I can't imagine being out in public with anyone that tacky and classless.
Not to mention that family. They heard their son lost their job and immidiately turned on him like he ran over 5 puppies.
OP should steer clear of both him and his weird ass family.
He didn't say anything because it protected his image
@@RisingRevengeance Sounds like that mother would be perfectly happy with a *well-paying* 'running-over-puppies-job."
@@condorboss3339 Probably lol. I just meant that a regular family would have that kind of reaction to something like it.
2nd story, obviously there’s NO element of trust. If your relationship is so bad that you can’t trust your partner to embrace their friend and cry in a time of crisis, then you have more problems to deal with.
THIS! I am bisexual and in a relationship. If I followed this idiotic logic, I would not be able to hug any of my friends. Or be alone with them in a closed room. That is so sad. Though it's even sadder that there are people in relationships with such rules.
OP and the friend allso has prior history of hostility, it is likely the reason why the husband does not want her to be a part of the interaction.
Honestly the husband should see the red flags allready.
Exactly. Reverse the genders and everyone, even rslash, would be screaming "Toxic! Red flags! Run OP run!"
@@Li31957
Red flags of OP or his friend? Just for clarification.
Also, I'd have to ask something: does OP's husband know of his friend's behavior toward OP, and did he ever try to make her stop that? Because I'd imagine constantly comparing him and OP is disrespectful to their relationship. By the way the story sounds, it sounds like he *doesn't know* about it.
Anyway, I see OP not following her husband's request and, by extension, disrespecting his friend's wish as her stooping to her level, which... is unfortunate.
You lose that trust when you sneak off with someone else into a bedroom and close the door, the moment your significant other has their back turned.
Story 2: cheating wasn't even one of the options that popped into my mind, OP being insecure and controlling did though. I can _sort of_ see how it would be disrespectful to sneak into the bedroom the moment OP had their back turned but it also sounds like OP wouldn't of given them space if asked to and I sure as hell wouldn't want to break down crying in front of someone I dislike. And of course classic reddit was jumping immediately on the _"oh he's friends with someone of the opposite sex??? OBVIOUSLY cheating"_ bullshit.
Yeah I was suuuuuper confused because absolutely nothing in the story indicated that the husband would’ve cheated
Even then... my partner and I have good communication and get each other pretty well. If a friend was upset and my partner asked me to "go get something" and then moved into a private space... I would understand that they were trying to subtly ask to be alone with friend without embarrassing them, and leave them be.
@@olivergregory5093 Exactly! Even if OP and the friend were on neutral terms It would be understandable not to want to cry in front of someone you aren't close with. But the fact that the husband isn't allowed to comfort the friend without it "appearing as something else" is just ridiculous.
I mean it would otherwise be fine to just console a friend, but the friend is constantly breaking OP's marriage's boundaries and compares themselves to the wife for the husband. It really sounds bad and I would at least think that 1) the friend wants to bang the husband and 2) the husband is either oblivious or pretends to not see it to keep both the friend and the wife.
@@olispaamv I'm not sure if I'd take OP's word for it. If she's this insecure and jealous she could just be exaggerating or even making things up.
Story 4: As someone who had to be left out of activities such as trips and “family” photos Op was completely right in refusing to let her children be left out. When a kid is left out and sees one parent having fun with the other children it quite literally is like you telling the kid you do not want them or want to have fun with them. It is neglect and no one should neglect their child or let their partner try to manipulate them into it
Story 3: NTA. You can't be a gold digger if there's no gold to dig for, and the fact that he'd rather let his family treat his partner like shit even before losing his job is a deal breaker imo, but it's an even bigger one since Op's paying for _everything_ now but he's _still_ letting them make assumptions and treat her like shit.
Edit: Oh so he's a gaslighter too 🚶🏻‼️
Wanna bet the parents are projecting for something that happened in the past? Also, if he had just told his parents to shove a sock in it, they wouldn't have got mad at him.
Last story: prenup, non negotiable. Always protect yourself, when people show you who they are, believe them.
The comforting a friend story: I think the difference is the husband didn’t communicate beforehand. They snuck off to the guest room and closed the door after sending OP on a task. It would have been vastly different if the husband would have had a conversation with the wife before the friend came over. “Hey babe, you know [friend] is going to get emotional so I am going to give her a bit of privacy by going to the guest room to comfort her, but I will leave the door open. Are you ok with that? Can you hold space for her in that way? Thanks babe! You are the greatest and I’m glad you trust me and are secure in our relationship to allow for this to happen.”
We just don’t know the context behind that so it might as well hold no bearing on our judgment until we get that context. Maybe the husband actually wanted water and the friend asked if they could go to a private room before Op returned. Maybe Op isn’t the type of person to respect their privacy. Maybe they were going to talk shit about Op. They probably weren’t planning on cheating because then they would’ve either locked the door or left the house. Either way speculating won’t affect the conclusion that we come to based on the story
OP heard crying and sobbing before opening the door though, that's enough indication of what was happening, clearly the friend broke down crying and wanted privacy to do so with her friend. OP is clearly insecure if she thinks they were cheating while crying because her dog got cancer, while the wife was in the house right next to them. Even then she opened the door and clearly saw what was happening and still didn't give them privacy when asked.
People can be friends with persons of the opposite sex, stop with that old af mentality, its pure insecurity. If you don't trust your partner then why are you with them?
@@bestpiss I agree… I just slight disagree with rSlash’s take on avoiding the illusion of something. Open communication, trust and security in the relationship and with oneself go a long way… OP was still an ass for not setting the glass down and walking away. She could have even left the door open as she left… but was rude and invasive.
@@_desertork1839 I completely agree! I am polyamorous. Please see my other reply for more clarification on my intent.
@@WolfButtercupMC it happens to most whamen, I've seen it. Girls will kill if you try and touch their guy
Story 2: If OP has trust issues, that is something she needs to discuss with him.
Wonder why when her husband respects his female friend more and hides in the bedroom with her
@@KaiAstraStylistMaybe if his wife wasnt such an insecure bitch he wouldn't feel the need to have the two separated when his friend is GRIEVING. Like seriously, she's grieving, they're not gonna go into the guest room and start raw dogging it with his fucking wife in the house.
@@KaiAstraStylistgirl when have you cried with open door tf? I mean yea he could have told her but yk emotions make people not think clearly, you people make normal shit so weird for no reason
The first story, op is so much of a hypocrite, it's a shame she's such a Karen because she can't see that. Like if op was famous and was hanging out with her daughter, would she want fans swarming them for a picture?
Honestly if I was op, I would feel so embarrassed for making that mistake in the first place.
I believe she would swim in the attention, no matter how her own daughter would feel about it.
A lot of celebrities like doing pictures with fans, because many of them love their fans, but that doesn't mean every day they are really able to devote time to every fan that they run into.
OP doesn't seem to trust her husband in story 2. His friend is grieving. The additional context makes it seem like the friend wants to sleep with husband.
EXACTLY. People conveniently forgot that part. She constantly oversteps her boundaries, compares herself to Op and makes her feel like she doesn't know her husband. How many stories have we seen where all those behaviors pointed to that friend wanting the partner for themself and therefore intentionally sabotaging the relationship.
@@truthseeker9249 and the partner that is desired is in so much denial to see the situation for what it is.
@@lorilancaster5917 yeah. It's so sad.
@@truthseeker9249 yes thank you a comment that agrees! it seems like it is a popular opinion to say OP is the ah, and saying "oh you are all forgetting about the dog having cancer" but they seem to conveniently forgetting the detail OP added in. This isn't just about the dog having cancer, there had been issues with this friend long before this and the dog having cancer and her being emotional over it (which yeah, she has the right to, but the OP's husband should also be responsible for his boundaries as well so it doesn't make the appearance of it, Rslash is right about it), but the current situation is what made OP breakout the most, and tbh ANYONE would feel this way if their partner had a friend that did not like them as well.
@@truthseeker9249 All we have is OPS words. To me, that made her sound insecure.
I actually agree with what RSlash said about the last story. The girl is extremely naive and doesn’t realize that her friends are sugar babies. She might’ve have a better wake-up call is OP handled that by sitting her down and showing her the math.
I’m not saying it would’ve worked, but it still gives her a taste of how the world really works.
Story two: That’s quite a hot take Rslash and the example you gave just does not make sense. So let’s say you have a female friend that you and her see as a friend only and that firmed either lost a partner, kid, pet family member, anything and she comes to you for comfort. Does that mean you want to get into her pants? If the answer is no then why the hell would you say that.
You can comfort her without being in a bedroom with the door closed. Comfort her on the couch in the living room, like a normal person.
it's not just female friends remember another post when OP's husband wanted to help his male friend whose wife died so he was trying to cheer the friend but OP got mad at him for that and everyone even Rslash was like "yeah they are banging"
@@femboy-alex117 I don’t think I herd that story. Think you can link the video?
@@otakueve117 I'll search for the video it was quite some time ago
Don't minimize the situation to make it meet your narrative. That is not what happened. Stop being delusional.
Story 3: That family is too crazy 😂 Wow. And disinviting your son from the holidays because they’re unemployed??? What the fudgsicle!
i bet it is because he lied about over beening unemployed
So, a story similar to story 3 but handled better: My husband and I are 11 years apart, with him being older. We're polyamorous, so he was married when I met, but it was not a happy marriage at all. He never really wanted a poly marriage but didn't know how to refuse her after she supported him while he was in the military (even tho he only joined bc she had issues with jobs). He suffered with it for years before he met me. So, within a year of dating, he had left her and we became "official", and I even met his family (they separated in July and I met them the week before Thanksgiving). The next week (on Thanksgiving), I found out I was pregnant, which was a shock bc he was told he was most likely sterile since coming back from Iraq. When we announced it, his mother said, "Are you sure it's yours?" He immediately said "Yes, without a doubt." Bc that's how you handle a parent who is implying something rude that you know isn't true. Not by letting it slide or ignoring it.
It's not a rude question if your Polyamorous...your whole situation sounds messy af.
@@chs75 It was rude bc she didn't know I was polyamorous, nor that her son was. She just saw a very young girl suddenly pop up pregnant not long after her son left his wife of 8 years. It was an extremely valid question, still rude. Things can be necessary and still be rude.
My god. So now you need to take into consideration what people might or might not consider suspicious in order to respect your partner? Or how about we help normalize that it is ok for men and women to be friends, even close friends, without the burden of being considered cheaters.
As long as they stay out of the bedroom, absolutely
So on the 2th story, by everyone's logic a married man should never be alone with another woman because they simply cannot be trust. Got it.
Husband and friend could’ve just hung out on the couch. When OP saw them he could’ve gestured to give them a moment since friend is upset. Not hug her and take her to the bedroom
@@lorilancaster5917 I don't know about you but if I'm going to break down and cry, I would really prefer to do it alone or with a close friend and not in front of someone who I don't get along with.
He’s MARRIED thou. You don’t go to a private bedroom and shut the door! That’s the red flag territory. You’re already inside a house shut out from the public. Soooo. The only reason they’d move to bedroom is ulterior motives. Plain and simple. This isn’t friends comforting. This is a woman trying to get a married man
@@kelsmister So the repeat by your logic a married man should never be alone with another woman because he cannot be trusted. And they were not alone, they were in a house with another person who didn't get along with OP.
Honestly OP just sounds incredibly controlling and insecure in this story.
@@clawsoncentral4291 THANK YOU! I certainly wouldn't want to have a breakdown in front of someone who hates me, and I bet that OP has male friends that she hangs out with while her husband isn't present. Hell, OP's reaction makes me suspect that *she's* at least tempted to cheat and projecting that onto her hubby.
The mother-in-law kept assuming that the original poster was a gold digger and as I'm listening to that story I was thinking to myself that if and when that assumption is proven wrong she's going to feel real stupid. And look what ended up happening.
Yeah. Turns out her son is the real gold digger.
OP called his family “nice”???
Story 2: The husband is comforting the friend and they want privacy, probably because OP and the friend don’t get along. OP is just being petty by not giving them their privacy.
Also; stop assuming the husband and friend are banging because of a hug.
I remember when rSlash used to say that he doesn't like to assume someone is cheating without enough obvious evidence pointing towards it. I think he's been reading too many reddit stories since then.
Imagine the husband's friend trying to tell him she has cancer or something like that and his wife standing there assuming they are cheating.
How fragile is your marriage if you can't leave your husband alone in a room for 3 min when there's clearly an emergency
The door shutting can be explained away by the fact that, friend doesn't want to be embarrassed by being seen crying.
Fuck this noise. The husband looked for an excuse to have the wife leave the room and then the husband and friend went to another room completely. That is some very very wrong doing. If there is nothing going on, the husband can be upfront and ask his wife for a few minutes with the friend in the same room she was brought to, the living/dining room, not a bedroom. OP is not in the wraong, the other two are more the husband but the friend isn't blameless either.
Yeah, the whole "you're obligated to not give the *appearance* of cheating" boiling down to not having opposite gender friends as close as same gender friends was weird. I get not wanting to cause your partner anxiety, but what happened to trusting your partner?
Second story: so it is disrespectful to do something that may be perceived as suspicious, but it is not disrespectful to be openly mistrustful of your spouse? If OP suspected them of having an affair, she would have said so, the context points are very vague. If she really had suspicions of affair, there are better times and methods to go about finding out. But what I do know, is if your upset, the last person you would want to be vulnerable in front of, is your bff's spouse who clearly doesn't like you.
Second story: if people think shutting a door is disrespectful they should check their insecurities
FACTS
What is wrong with y'all?
Literally the BF told OP to go get something and literally ran off to another room for PRIVACY?
Why couldn't the BF ask OP for alone time or why even ask the friend to come over at all?
OP even says the friend crushes boundaries so this isn't out of the norm for her and the husband. I'm sorry but it's funny people gloss over these details.
@@mandalorianhunter1 he asks for that very thing later on in the story and it clearly didn't work.
Em... Its WEIRD ASF how the husband and the friend react to a simple crying or whatever tf
@@hamz5791 Oh you mean after the OP sees that they have moved to another room, closed the door and found them embracing each other? Oh God maybe I'm the fool who is missing something or everyone else is delusional.
2nd story: I'm honestly shocked by Rslash's conclusion here. The whole time he was reading the story, I just heard this air of jealousy and distrust coming from the wife, so I did not expect Rslash to take her side there. Coming from the perspective of someone attracted to both men and women, I don't understand how y'all can be so distrustful of opposite gender friends. Like, if I was expected to follow the same rules around "not giving the appearance of cheating" I literally would not be able to have friends. And what happened to relationships having a foundation of trust?
Also, just look at it from the friends perspective. Imagine you just found out your dog had cancer. You get to see your best friend for the first time in a long time. You start to feel overwhelmed and just want some privacy and a hug, so your friend takes you to the guest room so the two of you can cry in peace. Then, your friend's wife walks in and starts WATCHING YOU CRY and refuses to leave when you're at your most vulnerable. Seriously, what the heck?
THIS!!!! this is so true. im so fucking mad at rslash. it feels like his empathy is just slowly draining, hes becoming heartless to those who are sensitive, emotionally. and to men who arent masculine. it feels like he downs anyone who isnt like him. and its gross
@@whatisr3ality he has no lack of empathy. He just also doesn't lack good sense about basic universal propriety.
@Whatisr3ality I'll give him a view but no sub, he has not earned it. Reading other people's stories is cool, but the analysis is usually trash
@@mariposa9506 too many double negatives. Try again.
So, it's also odd that they would want to talk in the bedroom at all, I've never been comforting someone and either of us been like 'lets continue this conversation in the bedroom' instead of 'lets get some air' or the other person offering to leave the public space that is the living room to give the grieving person privacy. Going off to the bedroom feels more like a secret conversation - which is different than a private conversation
BUT the thought that they're going to get down in the room while op is right outside just because the door is closed? Like, that's ....odd, who would be that dumb?
That whole story is weird, the friend and husband are behaving more exclusionary than privacy seeking, the wife is standing there acting jealous and invasive. IDK, it doesn't seem like anything is going on in that moment but something weird is going on overall
Story 2: I'll just say it, rSlash, uh... you can't control what other people think. The husband can't control how people view his friendship with this woman. If we were going off the husband trying to keep anyone from assuming or implying anything, then he straight would just have to not be friends with any women. And then what's stopping people from wondering if he's secretly gay with his homies?
Is he gonna go into a bedroom with his homie and hold him with the door shut and get mad if his wife walks in?
@@mariposa9506 Well, if his homie was weeping and sobbing about his dog having cancer, and he wanted privacy to which the husband obliged, then sure.
To me, this is just a platonic gesture of comfort. If the husband or the friend or both know that the wife doesn't handle these situations well, or the friend jsut isn't comfortable around the wife, then yeah, they deserve privacy. Like we gonna also assume that the husband is incestuous if he does the same for his sister? Comforting and hugging a friend while they're upset where they are most comfortable(in this case, in privacy), is a normal response. Hell, I'd say even expected. It doesn't mean he's cheating or the friend is coming onto him.
Story 4 kind of reminds me about the AITA (I think) where the mom and her kids went on a roadtrip, while her boyfriend and his daughter invited themselves along. The daughter wouldn't stop being bratty, and together with the dad were spoiling the trip for them. So she dropped them off somewhere, broke it off, and enjoyed the trip with her kids, as she meant to
yep, that's an aita story alright. i think rslash covered it also.
*First OP:* Read the room, OP! The celebrity was attending her daughter’s birthday party. OP’s lucky the celeb/bodyguard was nice to her and her daughter. No one is entitled to a celebrity’s time. OP is TA.
And here comes the Karen voice, lol
*Second OP:* Controversial opinion, but I initially was going to say NAH. OP’s husband and his friend deserve to have privacy while they grieve, but I also understand why OP would be concerned about them having the door closed. If what OP said about her husband’s friend is true, then I’d change my score to NTA. Again, it’s probably a controversial opinion, but that’s how I feel 🤷🏿♀️
*Third OP:* _Is_ OP’s fiancé an innocent bystander? He just sat there while his mom continuously threw shade at OP. He needed to be called out. OP is NTA, and should reconsider marrying her fiancé. Even though OP’s fiancé is a BH, I do hope he goes NC with his family; they sound hella toxic.
*Fourth OP:* Once someone gets another person to berate OP over the phone, that gives OP an automatic NTA. Also, assuming there weren’t anymore available First Class seats, why couldn’t OP’s fiancé give everyone Economy seats? Why did he single out OP’s kids (that’s a rhetorical question)? Once again, OP is NTA.
Oh, good, OP broke off the engagement! Best of luck to OP and her kids. Lol at “bless his effing heart.”
*Fifth OP:* It sounded like OP’s girlfriend was just venting. I’d feel some type of way if someone made a judgement about me or my friends, even if it’s true. On the other hand, I can understand OP’s frustration. Another controversial opinion, but I’m going with NAH. No cards or letters, please.
> OP’s lucky the celeb/bodyguard was nice to her and her daughter
No, that is the bare minimum. As a bodyguard, you have to be professional, because in the end, you are also just a regular citizen, and not law enforcement.
May i introduce you r/entitledpeople and r/entitledparents for first story.
I think so too.
Besides… what's up with this attitude about not hugging your friends (especially when they need comfort)??
I agree with you on the second thing, like, it's clear that OP and the husband's friend don't get along. When I personally am crying and at my most vulnerable I would also only be okay with my closest friends seeing me like that.
I'm glad you agree on Story 2. OP blatantly said that this friend is a boundary stomper who is always making OP feel insecure, comparing herself to her and making her doubt her relationship with her husband. If OP doubts the relationship this is that friend's fault for making her feel that way (IF what OP said is true). If m boyfriend had a female friend who was always comparing me to her, making me doubt my relationship with him and driving me cray making me think that maybe he and I aren't as close as I thought, I would also have animosity towards her and be very suspicious of her intentions when alone with my boyfriend. Because as we have seen in many stories, all of those behaviors are usually signs pointing to the friend wanting OP's partner and wanting to break them up because they don't think OP is good enough for them.
story 2: wtf?? op was clearly in the wrong, the husband cant comfort a grieving friend with the door closed - for the privacy of the friend? it sounds like the friend and the op dont get along well so ofc she's gonna want to show her emotions out of the presence somebody that doesn't respect her, which was a good idea cause op did that exact thing by not giving her room to grieve with the person she's closest to. this is one of your (and redditors) ratings that doesn't make any sense.
redditors are fr social outcasts with no friend experiences, hence the "cheating" allegations
I agree with this one
Besides, op said that their husband sees this friend like a sister and has known her for, what, 8 years? I have two things to say about that:
1. What sane, married man would:
1a. Cheat on their wife with their sister or someone they see that way.
1b. Do such a thing WHILE THEIR WIFE IS HOME.
2. If op was truly suspicious that an affair was going to happen, they could’ve left the room, closed the door, and then waited just outside and listened in for anything suspicious.
I’m not condoning this idea since it doesn’t exactly give op’s husband and his friend the privacy they deserve, but it’s still leagues better than op not leaving at all.
100% agreed
The friend is disrespecting their relationship. Who comes to their friends house when their wife is around and expects them to crawl off to a different room to let their vulnerabilities be shown. She's using her dogs illness to get sympathy points and put a wedge between the married couple.
People who lost touch with reality surely can't comprehend the fact that celebrity is also a normal human being with feelings
Last story, her and her friends are most definitely garden tools. Screw their feelings, you should call it out for what it is
no shame in using their looks to get nice things. But they can't deny what they're doing.
@@Avrysatos and they will have to face the reality when men are no longer giving them their attention and go towards younger ladies.
@@lorilancaster5917 Which is why they need to not be lying to themselves about what they're doing now. So they'll be prepared when their looks don't get them as much.
@@Avrysatos I'm not saying what they're doing is wrong. They're smart for using their "talents". My problem is that they get offended when someone points out what they're doing
I love how story 1 started out with the normal voice, but quickly became Karen xD
2nd story: I have to hard disagree. The wife needs to check her securities, there’s also other ways to check on weeping people. She could’ve knocked on the door and ask if they were okay, she could’ve sent a text, called, etc.
The wife needs to check out her own securities, especially if she can hear literal weeping coming from the bedroom. I would be ashamed if my boyfriend and his female best friend were weeping and I was just watching them. I would feel ashamed for disrupting that privacy. I’m shocked about his take. Absolutely shocked.
I think that fact that the friend continues to step over boundaries and is obviously disrespectful to the wife plays a huge part in this. Without knowing that information I may agree with you but it's quite obvious that the wife has felt disrespected by this woman before. The husband needs to put the friend back in her place so the wife feels more comfortable with her.
@@Dwights_trash_can i didnt know wanting to have privacy in a vulnerable moment is stepping over boundaries. if anything the wife is stepping over boundaries, not letting the friend grieve in peace.
@@Dwights_trash_can Well, if the friend had already disrespected boundaries, then yeah it’s totally fair for the wife to do what she did. But she didn’t state that, so I’m just taking face value. I feel like it’s more if the husband doing things more than anything. They really need to communicate with each other.
Actually yeah, going back to the post, I do agree with the wife. They should really talk about it, and the friend needs to lay off a little.
Nu uh
Thank you! Maybe they moved to a different room becuase the friend didn't feel comfortable crying in front of op because of how weirdly over bearing she is. I know I don't like being gawked at when crying that's for damn sure
The thanksgiving story: oh excellent she left him!! Best ending I think...
The partner sounds like a nasty man; yes!!! Yes!!! YES!!! That's a good mother right there
I agree with RSLASH
No she cut off her son for a stupid reason
I think we've got a mix up, I'm talking about the fiancé who refused to travel with his wife and berated her over her career
Not the "gold digger" one @@nationalinstituteofcheese3012
I think we have a mix up I was talking about the second to last story where he made the kids fly separately for the family thanksgiving
And belittled OP over her degree
Not the "gold digger" one before, didn't realise there were two thanksgiving stories - my bad
For the ‘Golddigger’ story, if I was in that scenario, personally I would continuously make comments like ‘oh I couldn’t possibly be a golddigger for someone so poor’ or ‘how could I be a golddigger? This family doesn’t make enough for me to do that’ you know just constantly disrespect the family, cause if they want to hurt me then I’ll just hurt their ego right back.
Story 2: "prevent the appearance of something going on", thats a hell of a hot take. To some, having female friends as a married man is "appearing" suspect. OP is 100% the butthole, the woman obviously doesnt get along with her husbands best friend, which means the best friend would not want to look weak in front of her. OP likely knows this deep down and is just being an ass trying to get support for her terrible actions. As for the bed "example", if its -10 degrees would you still stay out of the bed?
Are they having an affair? Maybe, but in the context of them not having an affair which would be completely different, OP is 100% the butthole.
I know right?!
Rslash is completely crazy for his take on the second story.
Imagine if the genders were reversed.
"NO WIFE! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN PRIVATE WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN ME BECUASE OF THE IMPLICATIONS! NO MORE GIRLS NIGHTS OUT JUST IN CASE IT MIGHT IMPLY YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME!"
People would be roasting OP alive for being a 'controlling abusive freak', but because it is a girl who makes the controlling demands, suddenly it is ok.
@@miniman649 "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN PRIVATE WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN ME BECUASE OF THE IMPLICATIONS"
That used to be a thing in the west and still is in many countries, women must have a chaperone to make sure "nothing wrong happens" and supervise the people in the room. Obviously called out for the bigotry that it is.
Not only that, tbh it sounds like the friend was struggling to cope and wanted just a few minutes alone with her close friend. OP even says they are like brother and sister. I think RSlash has read so many of these stories he's taking a stronger, less understanding approach.
Also, she hears sobbing from outside the door and decides 'yeah, I should intrude on this'. As if they're going to be making out while that's happening.
Yeah i have the feeling that the role of the husband that r/slash has majorily influenced his opinion there.
Just because you are a husband that would not do what ops husband did, does not mean no one gets the right to have such a friendship with their BEST FRIEND
@@mitchverr9330 indeed. And the opposite is also bigotry.
If the wife feels the need to supervise her husband being in a room with another female who is also grieving, she is a plain and simple bigot, and clearly don't trust, and thus doesn't love, her husband.
Story 4: Not only is having OP's kids in Economy while everyone else in 1st disrespectful, but it's also dangerous since the kids wouldn't feel safe.
The correct options would be to either make everyone Economy, or everyone First, or RSlash's solution.
Also could the kids even fly without an accompanying adult?
@@lorilancaster5917 Yes, I used to do it all the time as a kid to go see my dad. But that was back in the '90's so.... Now a days I don't think that an airline, no matter who they are, wants kids and parents to be seated away from each other incase something happens.
The fiancée is a grade A ass that needs his teeth kicked in. Just 'cuz he paid doesn't mean that he can try and force OP's kids to suffer like he was trying to do. OP did the right thing by leaving him, he was only going to get worse.
No he’s paying there not his kids he should not have to pay extra to put them in extra class
@@Benjaminjohnson1512 except that the parents are engaged (or were) her kids would also become his kids once married. He needs to treat them equally if he expects to have a happy blended family.
@@Benjaminjohnson1512 he invited them, and then decided to buy ONLY their tickets as economy. they’re getting married and he’s treating her kids as outsiders when they’re about to be his step kids. there’s no reason that he should show that much favoritism, especially when he’s the one who wanted them to come.
In the second story, we don’t get a lot of context on the relationship between the wife in the best friend. She said she is oversensitive or highly sensitive and said they don’t get along. My understanding is the best friend wanting to go somewhere else, and cry with the person that she was there, with to be supported and not be diminished and picked on by someone. I bet there’s something that op leaving out of the story, the bedroom door was not locked, and she never said they have done this before went off by themselves, so there is no context of them cheating at all.
Now that I think about it op said the door was locked at first than she said she walked in later but said the husband got up and shoved her which implies she opened the door herself which is super disrespectful in of itself
Story 2: OP's TA - I got the feeling the friend doesn't get along with OP very well so she may not be comfortable crying in front of her. I know I hate being vulnerable and crying around people I don't fully trust.
Last story: OP's NTA. GF brought her friends into it by constantly bringing up their lifestyle for comparison. She knows how much money OP makes and, if he wasn't so set on retiring early, they probably _could_ have the same lifestyle if he was willing to not retire early and just keep working to fund her wants. Considering how unusual it is that _all_ her friends are sugar babies, it's a pretty safe bet that at least some of the girls met their sugar daddies on a sugar baby site because, yes, those things do exist. After all, how likely is it that a bunch of rich guys just met the girls while they were at a cafe?
At least the celebrity is family oriented. Don’t really see much of that nowadays
And security was on point!
You'd be surprised how many celebrities are family oriented, they just think it's best to keep it private instead of being out in the open.
How is sharing emotions with friends in need disrespectful to your wife?
So Rslash. If your wife knows a man and his kid died she is not allowed to console him in private?
Jeez you people have weird hangups. If this is enough to cause jealousy or insecurity then you don't trust your spouse and THAT is disrespectful to your marriage.
That is my biggest problem with some of these read and reactors..Dabney and Charlotte Dobre have obviously been cheated on so they go there in their own minds way too often! Charlotte recently said following a person of the opposite sex that posts sexy photos/thirst traps is CHEATING!!
It is ruining the enjoyment of listening when they make it cringe by reading more into a story than was written.
@@lifewuzonceezr I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one noticing this. It's so weird.
My significant other has plenty of male friends. I am happy that she has emotional bonds with them. I want her to have as many fulfilling friendships as she can because I want her to have a fulfilling life.
If one of those friends needed her after a loss I would get out of the room myself because I don't wanna get in between that and would be grossed out with myself if I can't let people be vulnerable with privacy.
2nd story:Read the room women! You are jealous you have to be! Its not weird to want a secluded private moment between someone grieving!! You call her a boundary stomper but that's what you are. Hugging someone going through something rough isn't cheating its not on the line of cheating and its not inappropriate! Just because something looks a certain way doesn't mean it is that way and if you fully trust your partner something as normal as hugging isn't gonna seem like something innapropriate is going on unless YOU let yourself think that something is going on and thats you're problem not your partners! I disagree respectfully
She did read the room, and came to the correct conclusion.
@@black1917 100%
@@black1917 clearly not, since its pretty awkward to be watched by your longtime close friend's spouse like a hawk while you're crying. HER DOG DIED.
Story 5: Oh rSlash, you have no idea the delusion of very attractive women. It's not just being naive they are literally gifted shit for no reason by complete strangers. On one date I had a guy approach her and gave her a $100 bill stating that "you deserve this for being such an angel" and when I asked her about it she told me it wasn't super often but it happened regularly.
Story 2: I absolutely disagree. We need more context but still this woman just had her dog diagnosed with cancer! They're best friends, hugging isn't sexual. Ops ta
OP's fiance an "innocent bystander"? He just lets his parents berate OP without making so much as a comment in her defense. More like an apathetic bystander to me. Lose the fiance and go get someone else in your life that would treat you with respect and have your back in those moments. Also, OP's girlfriend in the last story sounds like a potential gold digger who's jealous of her friends getting "the good life" while she isn't.
Hard disagree with story 2. OP is 100% the asshole. How would you feel if a friend was comforting you over the loss of Yugo and their SO stands and stares at you?
OPis 0% ah. Husband and friend are. Husband got OP to leave living room by asking her to get something then he and friend went to a bedroom and closed door. Disrespectful and red flag behavior, if friend can't cry infront of OP then friend can go cry to family.
Yeah, relationships are about trust. If you can't stand your husband comforting a friend without you watching over them, you have bigger problems going on.
CONTEXT. They don't like each other, and the husband locked themselves in a room after he fooled the wife to leave them alone. Wife's fears may be unfounded, but that doesn't mean the attitude husband and friend took was the right one.
@@Chris-gj6je guess what? Just because you don't like someone doesn't mean you get to act like douchebag.
OP could have just let them be and carry on with her day
@@Chris-gj6je another important context is if he knows they don't like each other wouldn't it be better for his friend to grieve privately away from the person that outwardly dislikes them? The fact that the woman heard somebody sobbing and thought "well I have to put a stop to this" is its own kind of red flag
Op even says their relationship is like siblings. Outside of bad anime and certain parts of the American South you don't really have to worry about siblings boning each other lol
Story 2: Damn imagine not being able to console your grieving friend due to needing to keep up appearances? Like that is essentially what R/slash is saying. That the husband cannot console his grieving friend because closing the door may imply cheating….like what?
Look if OP is that sensitive and unsure her husband will not cheat she can either leave or hire a PI. Hire a PI if he cheating and act accordingly.
What this seems more likely is that OP found her chance to “stick it” to the friend due to not liking the friend and did it.
Honestly actions and thoughts like this is why relationships fail more often then not. There is a fine line between caution, freedom, etc and everyone seems to either go to some sort of extreme
That seamless voice transition in the first story was just... *Chef's kiss*
So… whenever I wanna hug my friends (like for comfort) I *actually* wanna bang them?
gotcha R/Slash - now everything is clear to me
7:16 exactly
I mean that's a great way to mischaracterize what he said, but like most comments like yours in this thread, you can completely ignore the rest of the story cuz it makes you feel better.
@@khrishp It really doesn’t matter what he said after or before that. Context matters but he’s still wrong. The husband is not in the wrong he’s trying to comfort his best friend. His wife is trying to make a grieving woman(who if she wanted to could’ve fucked the husband in the 8 years they’ve known each other but too our knowledge hasn’t)out to be some scandalous harlot. You’re romantic relationships shouldn’t be doing that to your platonic relationship.
@@khrishp
the rest of the story - for me - makes it even worse.
How can she feel justify controling her husbend like that? And on top of that she also plays the victim??
Do you take your friends in a bedroom and close the door everytime you wanna hug them?
Story 2: I have to disagree. I hate the stereotype that a woman and a man cannot be close friends without one of them wanting to bang the other. So it feels like there's an assumption that that's the truth, even tho we only hear the story from the side of op, who clearly doesn't like the friend. Also, the husband may have wanted to give his friend privacy from someone she feels uncomfortable with while she grieves. I would feel so shamed and unwelcomed if my best friend's partner gave me the stink eye while I was sobbing in grief.
I genuinely don’t understand story two. How could people think that a man comforting a grieving woman count as cheating, or even look suspicious at all? If I heard crying coming from the other side of the door, I’d be concerned, not suspicious. This mindset that OP has seems really childish.
Its very suspicious. The husband asked OP to go get something from another room, the husband and friend left to a different room. Thats red fucking flag behavior. If friend can't cry infront of OP, she doesn't need to be in OPs house. Go cry to family. Husband and friend showed massive disrespect.
@@TheBoboTheIceMan well if they really did stuff in that house in front of OP, they really are idiotic. I’d maybe get it if OP wasn’t aware the best friend was coming over, but she even let her into their home. I feel like you should just be able to trust your partners anyway lol. If you don’t trust them to comfort their best friend then y’all don’t need to be together
What and where and how shows a level of intimacy beyond friendship. Not that they were about to bang, but that they probably occasionally do.
Well they don't need to be behind a closed door on a bed. After they lied to the wife to get her another room. That's what suspicious knocking comforting a woman.
I love how rslash goes from normal voice to Karen Voice, for the 1st story
The guy hugging his crying friend isn't suspicious, it's a pretty appropriate reaction, however, the fact he's trying to hide from his wife and getting increasingly confrontational when she pushes the issue is weird.
I understand why op is upset but I wouldn't say anyone is explicitly the a-hole I guess
If you had a friend who did not like your partner and they were at their very lowest moment due to some shocking news would you want those two in the same room together while the friend was grieving?
People generally don't like showing their weakness around others certainly not around those that don't like them. If the genders were changed around in literally any other order it would not be a problem.
The wife flat out heard two people sobbing on the other side of the door and thought "well maybe they're banging I have to put a stop to this"
100% the husband and his friends are not assholes the wife on the other hand gets the 2.5 out of five for lack of trust and obvious disregard for the situation.
Ngl it kinda seems like everyone's glossing over the fact that she's a boundary stomper. So she can be a boundary stomper but it's not okay for op to be a boundary stomper? It'd be impossible to cheat since they're in the same house, but I can see how it's suspicious. My thing is, the wife didn't even want the friend to come over but the husband did? Why couldn't the husband explain before she got there how she doesn't like being vulnerable infront of people she didn't trust? That way if the wife disagrees then there isn't a crying woman there wanting privacy and ops not listening? Guys and girls can be friends but this seems like a lack of trust they both need to talk about.
@@Jackie_XIII naw that’s hella suspicious I bet they’re secretly cheating
@@JoeyA1 You've got issues
@@JoeyA1 nah, I think this says more about you than it does about them
I think I need more information on the second one. I would never want to be in a relationship where I can't hug my friend behind a closed door BUT I would also have open communication with my SO to make sure no one feels iffy about it.
Sometimes I just want to listen to rslash talk. Talk about stories, and life advice and parenting advice and everything! He’s human, he’s made mistakes and misjudged stories and that’s what I love about him
Story 2: am I the only one who thinks OP's in the wrong? When my older brother lost his friend he stayed locked in the guest bathroom crying for hours. My dad was the only one that talked to him all day, I wanted to go in there but my dad told me my brother needed some time to himself and that some people really don't like to be seen crying. Maybe that was the situation, and come on OP said she was bawling her eyes out, do you really think they were hooking up at that moment. I get what R/ means but I don't think it's suspicious based on what was going on in that moment.
I agree. OP is clearly in the wrong.
Why?
Because if we switched the genders, and it was a male telling a woman that she can't be in private to comfort a grieving friend, OP would be roasted alive for being an abusive controlling partner.
It is a blatant double-standard from rSlash.
What rSlash said isn't ok, the whole "appearances" thing just reeks of insecurity and trust issues. OP needs to talk to her husband about it and could benefit from examining her reaction with a therapist, for her sake and for the relationship.
100% agree
OP's husband shouldn't be making things look suspicious in his wife's eyes. She pointed out that OP's friend has trouble respecting boundaries, and I think she's in the right to enforce them even in that moment of grief. You want a shoulder to cry on, fine, but don't make it look like you're having an affair.
That's the wife's unconfirmable and likely biased take. Here's an easy litmus test to use in this situation. Try it out.
Reverse the genders of everyone involved and see if it looks toxic from the outside. I think most people would see this behavior as controlling and a possible red flag if it was a husband doing it to his wife. In fact, rslash has said as much himself before.
For the 2nd story, I disagree with rSlash.
Some people don't want to been seen crying in front of people they honestly don't trust enough to be seen as weak. For example, my own dog had to be put down years ago, and when I went to work, some people could see that something was wrong with me, the sadness in my face, and clearly something was boggling my mind. They'd asked if something was wrong, I didn't want to tell them because I didn't want to burden them. The people I felt closest to was my own family and one friend, and I could cry in front of them because they understood the amount of sadness I had too, behind closed doors. Some people don't have pets, so they can't relate to that.
OP's husband and his best friend have complete trust in each other, so why not give them 10 minutes to let out a cry? Why does OP have to be there when clearly she doesn't want the best friend there in the first place? If anything, she could've helped out her husband, because he was clearly crying too.
Also, if they were secretly banging, why would they do it when OP was clearly home? OP LITERALLY let her in their house. Why do that? Honestly, OP doesn't have trust in their friendship, and that's honestly disrespectful of OP.
That's a LOT more diplomatic than my thought of, "Dabney, you're an idiot."
I do get where r slash is coming from, in most cases regardless of if your married dating or single, if your a guy especially you don’t want to be in a position where someone could say some false statements where only you and that person Knows what happened
Was her to sat this.
Husband got OP to leave living room to get something, then he and friend went to a bedroom and closed door. Want to talk about disrespectful behavior, thats a red fucflag. If friend can't cry infront of OP then friend can go find family to cry to.
Well if you need a shoulder to cry on don't go to a married man and think it's appropriate to go to a bedroom and shut the door. It's not. Especially when his wife has said she's uncomfortable. It's inappropriate and it gives the wrong signals. There's no reason that she can't cry in the living room or in the bedroom with the door open. The door being closed is inappropriate with a married man. Just like if it was a crying man with a married woman it's inappropriate. My father is really sick with cancer. I don't go to my married best friend's house and cry on his shoulder in a locked room and see his wife isn't invited. Craziness.
For story 2, if I was in OP's place, my only problem would be not being able to comfort the friend too. I'm really empathetic and my urge to comfort others is strong, especially for the friend's situation which I've experienced too. So I would of either given the friend the privacy she needed and/or if I'm on good terms with her, ask her if she would be comfortable with having me comfort her too.
Yeah op made it very clear she does not like that woman. she made it clear she didn't approve of her husband supporting her while grieving, she literally said she didn't want the friend to come over. But people, including rSlash, read the story and automatically think it's 100% true when it's written by the person who wants to vilify the friend and husband because she thinks how they were grieving was weird. OP clearly change or left out some details.
So, story 2, if that friend was a guy would it have been okay to hug and cry and shut the door, or would that woman have assumed that there was something going on between her husband and the male friend as well. To me, the wife was totally the a**hole. She knew there was nothing going on, but she felt the need to step into that room and take a metaphorical pee on the floor to assert her dominance.
Stories 3 and 4: Why would you even think of marrying into a family of vipers like that?
The last story: If that woman has a degree and a job, she’s not naive, in my opinion; she just wants a luxurious lifestyle without the burden of paying for it herself.
Why the need to move to a private room? And shut the door? She knew they were there. She knew they were upset. It’s not a surprise. So sorry no. The wife isn’t a butthole. But that “friend” isn’t just a friend dude. Very obvious she wants the husband. Very manipulative.
I fully agree with your take on story 2.
Seriously, I don't even get RSlash's take on that story. Are you not allowed to have female friends once you have a wife? Are you not allowed to comfort those friends whilst they go through emotional trauma, and allow them to grieve with a close friend in private? All because "something might go on" (assume only because the husband is straight), when nothing would happen because she's clearly grieving?
With that logic, can someone who's bisexual even have privacy with any friends they have? 😂
All I got from the story was the good old "men and women can't be friends without trying to have sex with each other."
Like if my friend of 8 years came to me for comfort, I would gladly give it, and if they wanted privacy, I'll shut the door.
If my partner thought like rslash and was so insecure in their relationship where he/she couldn't trust me to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, I'm going to break up with you. "You obviously don't trust me so why are we together?"
Side note: I'm bi so am I not allowed to be alone with other people?
@@MrChris00078 There was no reason for them to go to a bedroom with the door shut to cry about her dog, they already had privacy, they were in the privacy of OP and her husbands home with just the three of them there, not the middle of Time Square with everyone staring at her. And OP said the friend is a boundary stomper so she was 100% doing that here and the husband is blind to that fact & allowing her to do that is disrespectful to OP and their marriage
Yea not going to lie sounds like the wife is insecure most people don't like to cry around people they aren't close to and it sounds like the wife doesn't like the friend
rSlash switching to the Karen voice midway through an AITA post always makes me laugh.
Story 2 , Rslash is definately wrong because if i were the friend i would like to cry in arms of my trusted friend who know me but not while their SO are staring at me i would not like someone who doesn't know me from very years to not trust enough to show my true feelings
I wonder if a lot of yall who are saying this are married yourselves? I'm not coming at you but things change drastically when you marry someone. Also the was felt disrespected by the friend before this incident and thaf is an important factor
Story 2... I see the husband did nothing wrong. He has a BFF, like a sister. She wanted to cry in peace, he wanted to comfort her. Nothing about that is sus. The fact that she knows the husband better, means nothing. My dad has a saying: if you need to bury a hooker in the desert, you aren't going to ask your wife. Regardless, if you can't express that you aren't doing anything, and your partner still suspects, that has less to do about you and everything about her.
Him lying to his wife to get her out of the room is sus though. Why would he ask her to get them some water to shuttle his friend into the guest bedroom before closing the door instead of actually communicating with his wife “hey. My friend really needs to cry so I’m gonna take her into the bedroom.”
And we really need to stop the “hE sEeS hEr As A sIsTeR” excuse cuz we’ve seen countless stories of people cheating on their significant others with close family friends.
@@briannad9155 stop liking your own comments
@@svenjorgensenn8418 I’m not. Idk if this is a foreign concept to you but not everyone shares the same shitty opinions as you (shocking I know).
2nd story: NAH. I truly don’t think it’s crazy to want some privacy when processing grief. And I don’t think it was weird for the husband to ask her to leave while his friend is sobbing. If anything, if someone lurid has been happening, they would’ve jumped apart when she stepped into the room. By OPs own admission, she and the friend are not close, so idk about you but I wouldn’t some I’m not close with to see me ball my eyes out.
I can also see where OP is coming from, with the friend crossing boundaries before and being unpleasant to OP. but do I think it was a good time to stand her ground? No. This woman’s dog is dying and she wants to work on her marriage in front of her? Read the room lmao
Lots of Bias from reddit, for all we know they are liars.
It’s over a dog. That’s something anyone can understand and sympathize with. If she needed privacy she should have stayed home. You don’t go to someone’s house and kick them out of their own bedroom while you cry on their husband
Ok for story 2 the “prevent the appearance of something going on” is a BS hot take as all I got from the story is that the OP can’t trust her husband to be alone with his best friend who is a woman and also the friend needed to be comforted by someone she trusts and she probably wanted to be in a more private room so she doesn’t look weak in front of someone she doesn’t like and I feel like OP knows this and is just being an ass about it seriously have you never had a friend or family member who has gone through a loss and left to go cry somewhere private as I’ve known people who’ve done that so the OP is 100% the AH and should have left the room when first asked
Agreed
Not to mention the fact that so many people don't realise how seriously fucked up it is to not be able to trust your spouse to be alone with someone else for a few minutes. Why even marry someone if you trust them so little? At worst, this distrust could actually be manipulation and OP trying to assert control over their husband merely being disguised a jealousy - trying to gaslight the husband into believing that the problem is somehow their fault.
@@hiddentreasure2161 It is fucked up, which is why he should be doing everything he can to EARN that trust, instead of siding with his friend every she mistreats his WIFE.
@black1917 No, either he needs to leave a toxic relationship/have counselling, or the wife needs to realise that she's being overly-paranoid to the point of essentially preventing the husband from having any kind of life outside of her.
Trust in earned, but that trust would have been earned way before marriage. Either somethings gone terribly wrong, or this isn't actually a trust issue
@@hiddentreasure2161 Any trust that was earned before the marriage was lost when he refused to stamp out this chick's behavior the moment it started and instead let it continue. The rest of what you said is wishful thinking on your part with nothing to back it up without ignoring context.
Secord story and rSlash's take are very disappointing. Way to reinforce the tired idea that a man and woman can't actually be friends without wanting to get in each other's pants. Do you seriously think they were going to get inappropriate *while the wife is home and right there* just because of a closed door? Insecurity breeds trust issues and kills relationships.
This. Oh a dude is hugging a crying woman who probably doesn't want anyone else to see her crying, and suddenly they wanna bang? Gotta love straight culture thinking, seriously
His wife got the pants in the relationship
I totally agree. If you SO really trust you, it shouldn't be a problem if you are on the same room with another person, specially in a situation like the one described! She was really sad because of her dog and she wanted intimacy and her friend was there to confort her, isn't that logical? Also, very hypocritical for OPs side to say that "she doesn't respect boundaries" when she's doing exactly the same with her husband.
I feel like this type of opinion comes up every time a story about a married couple comes up and people want to treat the relationship the same as they would if two people were dating or really good friends. When you commit yourself to a relationship like getting married, the rules become different. When you make a committed relationship like this, you're essentially saying you're giving up part of your autonomy in order to become a unit with this other person. And that goes for both sides. If this is unacceptable to you, then don't choose to be in that type of relationship.
I don’t think r slash’s take is wrong.
If a celebrity is it with their fans, or eating dinner, or running through the airport, or something like that, realize they are people too. How would you feel if some random person interrupted you to "just take a picture" when you were doing that. Plus, remember that if one person sees it, a chain reaction of more people realizing will join in & that 1 picture will easily escalate into multiple.
I would do it because if the fans are happy, I make more money. Just don't be dumb and go into public and expect privacy.
People like you need to pull celebrities down from their ivory tower. They wouldn't be anywhere with their fans
4th story: I think my biggest issue is how the ex just...put u in first class without your kids. Those kids being alone would constantly make me anxious as hell because they shouldn't be alone on a plane(mainly when the youngest was effin scared since it is her first time). Glad she broke things off.
I always love that you put out your videos right when I start getting ready for work !! ❤thank you for always making my morning!
From someone that has more female friends than male friends and always feels more comfortable in female company..... I am so on the husbands side regarding the hug.... if you don't trust your husband enough so he can comfort one of his best friends when they are hurting the problem is not with their relationship... the problem is with your relationship.
Relationships are 99% trust, if there is no trust then there is no base for a healthy relationship
Might add that it does not matter if the friend is interested in more than being a friend or not. Her husband had been friends with her for 8 years, if he had been interested in perusing more than a friendship it would have happened.... he obviously is not
@@SubwaySweden That's not true and you know it. Lots of people are interested in people for a long time but never have the guts to act on it regardless of the circumstances. You can ask plenty of men and they will agree with that. Or you can be interested in someone and not even realize it until something happens one day.
@@truthseeker9249 I don't deny that but where does that put the current relationship? If your partner sees you as somebody they settled for until something better comes along. is that relationship a relationship you want to be in? or is it better to know that sooner rather than later and move on?
What I am saying is that you need to trust your partner.... what kind of a relationship is it if one or both parties don't trust one another? Not a relationship I would want to be in
@@SubwaySweden Well we agree from that standpoint. Which is exactly why OP should leave him. He clearly cares more about this friend than OP. I'd bet you 10,000 dollars that if OP divorced her husband right now something would probably happen between him and his "friend". And it would be because "We were drunk" or "She was crying and grieving and I was comforting her and iT jUsT hApPeNeD". Maybe he truly isn't interested in her but she is clearly interested in him and even if by some miracle she isn't, still what she's doing is wrong. You should never deliberately drive a wedge between 2 people. OP has every right to be suspicious but she should just cut her losses and go.
@@truthseeker9249 Let me put it this way and see if you can see it from my point of view.
I am quite good looking, I am quite well off etc. I have females hinting towards me often. If I had a partner that was so insecure in our relationship and that I was faithful towards her I would start doubting that relationship.... not due to me being tempted but due to that she does not trust my love towards her.... I would assume that that stems from her doubting her devotion towards me.
With that said if somebody would have hit on me in a public place or among friends I would have shut that down brutally as it is lack of respect towards my partner but this was nothing like that, there was not lack of respect towards the relationship shown in this moment.
Might been that we have different cultures but in Sweden it is normal for males to have female friends and females to have male friends and hang out with them both with and without their partners during the highs and lows of life.
Story 2: ESH
I have had tons of male friends ALWAYS, and sometimes my partner didn't get along with some of them. But I am not going to sneak off without filling in my partner "hey she would like some privacy to cry...did you want us to go to another room so you can stay in the living room or what?" And then in a house that is large enough to have a guest room, you wouldn't need to close the door to get privacy, the room would be down a hallway, so they have all the privacy they could need.
Husband doesn't get to yell at wife when he did everything as wrong as he could have. Even if innocent, he could have stayed in the living room until OP returned with the water before leaving.
A big red flag: Unless there is some prior rule that the husband can't meet with the friend outside of the house, I find it odd that the friend would choose to cry over there unless her intent was create drama.
The thing that gets me about people who say that celebrities owe their fans attention constantly. It's like saying a civil servant needs to be on the clock 24/7 because your tax dollars pay their salary. If someone said that they would be crazy why isn't any different with the celebrity. You can ask but if they say no you need to respect the no and move on. Not make a post
I have the sneaking suspicion that if the fiance had agreed to the compromise that r/ suggested, where his kids would fly 1st class on the outward journey and OP's kids would fly 1st class on the return journey, that he would have changed his mind when they got to check-in on the way home.
The last story: I like the direction where RSlash is coming from with sitting down with the gf and going over the numbers, being like, “we can’t afford this or that,” but at the end of the day, the OP is right: his gf’s friends are sugar babies and OP’s gf is jealous of that lifestyle. Honestly, her jealousy of them and her consistent denial of them being what they are are 2 major red flags. I do agree with RSlash’s idea for how to conduct the conversation, but I believe the OP should go into said conversation knowing he’ll probably come out the other side a single guy. Money isn’t everything, and it’s not healthy to make everything be all about money. Is her being jealous a red flag in of itself? No, of course not…but taking it to the level she is is not healthy and, honestly, one could argue that she needs better friends than those who apparently flaunt all their wealth and stuff in her face. Lol. That’s just my 2 cents, but yeah…OP gets 0/5 buttholes, and his gf gets 1/5 for not being realistic.
If you ask someone "Are you saying I'm a golddigger" and they reply "If the shoe fits" they are literally calling you a golddigger.
I hate when people talk about famous people "not just taking 1 minute for a photo with us" cause yeah, it might just take a minute, but now imagine HUNDREDS of people just "wanting a minute to take a photo"
While I do agree with you on story 2. I think that the friend was uncomfortable with crying infront of OP, and the husband was trying to comfort her, it's possible he didn't fully understand what it implied, I myself am shy and can be kinda oblivious to things like that.
You don’t treat my children like there’s a second class compared to your children. If we’re going to be together, my children will be just as important as yours.
Story 1: One of my cousins made a very similar complaint about a celebrity he saw in a nightclub. My cousin saw the celebrity with his entourage and wanted to go over and talk to the celebrity. Security kept him away and my cousin made enough of a scene that he was physically moved away. My cousin complained to me about it and got upset when I said he was an a$$h0le.
rslash, I promise if I see you on the street, I will do no more than smile and nod.
Nah, dont dick ride. These "celebrities" would be no where without fans. That's why people like Patrick Mahomes or Keanu Reeves are top tier.
I would tell RSlash that he would get 5 out of 5 buttholes if he didnt take a picture with me. At the very least, I believe he would laugh about that and that is all that matters in the end.
It's sad how many assume people of the opposite gender can never be alone together or it will be suspicious. No wonder so many have relationship issues if they can never trust their partner. Letting someone comfort their distraught friend in privacy is completely normal. If a woman was comforting her female friend in the same manner no one would bat an eye, but when it's a man and woman everyone automatically assumes the worst. Y'all are gross.
Wow! It's scary when you seamlessly transfer from your normal voice to a Karen voice! 😄😄😄
Nice to see we all agree
2nd story: I bet the husband wouldn't like it if op hugged some other man for comfort either.
You couldn't possibly know that.
So you think that op’s husband wouldn’t let her comfort a grieving friend just because he’s a man? Yeah you and op are the only ones with problems.
@@jackmanleblanc2518 But it's fair. Most people don't like that.
Doubtful, from her response of "it's my house" shows that she is controlling. Like shit she is insecure af
@@svenjorgensenn8418 No surprise that you would interpret it that way.
For story #3, I'd just double down and tell them that's exactly what's happening and they can't do anything to stop me mooching off their son forever, since he's so helplessly in love with me. Make a point of pointing out how 'the things he boys me are so much nicer than yours' and so on.
He can't let them split us up, because he'll be out on the streets if that happens. So he'd have to push back on them regardless.
I had to do a school essay today but motivated myself by telling myself that when I’m done, I’ll get to watch your new video so now I’m very happy to be able to watch your video!