What Is Eating My Mind - BBC Africa Eye documentary
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- čas přidán 21. 01. 2023
- ‘What Is Eating My Mind’ is an insightful and deeply personal story of living with bipolar disorder in Kenya, where the issue of mental health is often taboo.
Noella Luka was living out her dream of studying filmmaking in the US when a manic episode turned her life upside down. She was hospitalised and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Noella quit film school, returned to Kenya, and picked up a camera. For years, she has kept a record of her battle with bipolar disorder and her search for answers to one burning question: ‘What Is Eating My Mind?’ While filming, she faces her biggest challenge yet, but her story is one of hope.
Noella is also working to give a voice to others navigating mental health challenges - including a friend, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and received unorthodox treatment within a religious group.
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Africa Eye brings you original, investigative journalism revealing secrets and rooting out injustice in the world’s most complex and exciting continent. Nothing stays hidden forever.
You can check out all #BBCAfricaEye documentaries here: bit.ly/bbcafricaeye
CREDITS:
Directed and filmed by Noella Luka
Featuring - Cecilia Luka, Luke Nzangi, Nicholas Osir, Raphael Nzangi, Romeo Nyalo and Family, Angeline Musee, Fr. Geoffrey Inira, Michael Kwali and Family, Leonida Osir, Veronica Awuor, Martin Wathika, Mental Voices Africa Support Group, Kamili Mental Health Organization
Cinematography - Wambui “Bo” Muigai
Sound Recording - Edward Ahenda, Diana Kairu
Original Music By Rigga
Archive sources - KTN Kenya, NTV Kenya, Falling Walls Foundation, CGTN
Story and Edit Consultants - Catherine Olsen, Anna Ryndova
Editors - Wavua Mwambonu, Khalid Shamis S.A.G.E
Communications and Impact - Lucky Mwachi, Chloe Genga
Production Managers - Ivy Kiru
Assistant Producers - Bérénice Hahn, Ruth Munyiri
Assistant Editor - Jordan Inaan
STEPS - South Africa - Executive Producer - Don Edkins
ARTE France - Society and Culture Department - Fabrice Puchault
Commissioning Editors - Anne Charbonnel
BBC
Reversioning Producer - Anna Payton
Editor - Ian Lloyd BFE
Sound mix - Jez Spencer
Grade - Boyd Nagle
Online Editor - Chris Stott
Digital Producer - Tamasin Ford
Social Media Producer - Anusha Kumar
Executive Producers - Bramwel Iro
Producers - Sam Soko, Tiny Mungwe, Don Edkins
BBC Executive Producer - Peter Murimi , Dickon Le Marchant
Africa Eye Editor - Tom Watson
Produced with the financial support of
Robert Bosch Stiftung
Hot Docs Blue Ice Fund
Bertha Foundation
STEPS
Docubox
Supported by the
Federal Ministry for Economic Cooperation and Development
DW Akademie
Subscribe: bit.ly/subscribetoafrica
Website: www.bbc.com/africa
Facebook: / bbcnewsafrica
Twitter: / bbcafrica
Instagram: / bbcafrica
#MentalHealth #bipolar #kenya
May Nella’s mum rest in eternal and perfect peace. What a beautiful soul she was. When I learned her mum died I cried, but when only her dad was wishing her a happy birthday I cried harder. I’m so sorry for your loss. Noella, if you’re reading this, I love you and I support you. Keep going on, love, and may you heal properly 🤍.
Shemu
@@dorothymate3755 Pardon me?
This is so timely, my son and I are fighting depression and PTSD. I sleep most of the time to escape reality and my son turned to substance abuse to cope. He returned home yesterday from rehab. I'm lost and confused but I pray God brings us out of this so we can know how it feels to live without having to fight the voices in our heads daily. You are so lucky to have such a loving and supportive family, God bless you for sharing. You've given me hope. Anyone reading this, please say a little prayer for us.. thank you.
Will be praying. Hugz
Count on my prayer. Behold nothing is too hard for our God. May God turn round your story for his Glory 🙏
Where are you based Maureen?
I pray Holy Spirit to rest in your mind and your son’s mind, grant you peace. I declare spirit power, love and a sound mind for your family in Jesus name amen
Maureen, so heartbreaking reading your story. Do you have family around supporting you? I want to have a better understanding of individuals who hear voices. Are you able to tell us what exactly are you experiencing? And how do the voices appear and what are they telling you?
I am so sorry that you and your son are experiencing this. Hold on tight. Things will get better.
Noella is the epitome of courage and resilience,an inspiration for anyone going through a health issue .
Her parents are amazing people.
What a supportive family. Mental health is real. Africa needs more mental help professionals. Good luck Noella ❤
@@justnje thanks for sharing. I wish you and your family amazing grace
This is such an important film/documentary for Africa. As someone that's a Christian and has suffered from depression and anxiety it's important that it's treated with both medication and faith. I can say that I took medication for so long but when I gave my life to Christ there was a shift, when you understand the ways in which the devil plays with the mind, you can truly begin to fight it. Although bipolar is completely different.
I'm so grateful for her vulnerability, this will truly have such a huge impact.
To all these suffering from mental illness, you're not alone. God loves you, keep fighting and get help where it's possible. 🙏🏽❤️
Heyyy hope u r fine. Which medication helped? Please
Wow. You are write sis love from Ethiopia
I understand that mental health is not something the Devil causes but just how our minds navigate this world
BBC (Broadcasting British Colonialism) has completed its metamorphosis from a cruel Colonialist Channel to a jihadi Channel. The mouth piece of a thieving robber of a country which oppressed and killed millions over the centuries is now lecturing other countries on human rights. The colonial white man arrogance on full display
Amen 🙏 what u said is so important!
I have no words for Noella, Nick and their families. I have walked this journey as a caregiver for the last 16 years and I know this journey too well. The day we overcome stigma, that is when 80% of the work will have been done. STIGMA is the monster when it comes to mental illnessnes. Power to Noella and Nick and all mental health warriors.
Her mum was so loving this documentary was hard to watch. I feel so sad that she lost the battle. Keep going Noella God is with you.
I cried so hard omg. May she rest in eternal peace and may Nella heal and keep going on 🤍
I'm sorry to everyone whose mental health struggle I undermined. This thing is serious, often assumed it's a millennial way of attention seeking.
Jeff, just go easy on yourself, you are not alone that is what almost all of us thought until we came face to face with mental illness. As a caregiver, I know how hard the struggle is, if we can overcome the stigma, the work will be 80% done. Bipolar Disorder and all other mental illnesses requires a wholesome approach from psychiatric care, psychotherapy, family support and even spiritual support.
Thanks for sharing this. We need more awareness in the African/black community that mental illnesses is real. It's sad enough that we're struggling to solve our economic issues, now our citizens have to deal with mental health issues that are perceived as a myth here. Please don't lose hope if you're dealing with something this severe. You're not alone
I do hope and pray that Africans would not just watch this documentary but would open their minds to see mental illness as a disease that also needs doctor's consultation, medication, and the love of family members like yours and Nic's grandmother. Thank you for such a labour of love. I am saddened by the unexpected passing of your mother. May she rest in peace. Amen.
You may not know it but it’s people like you who will save this world. Your a wonderful human being.
"I'm glad you came"
Ah my heart🥺🥺🥺
To imagine the pain your mum must have felt to know that she will not be present to see you thro the healing process. RIP mum. God be always present in your life Noella. #Hugs
Alot of people suffer from this but never Express themselves
You are Brave
My takeaway quote.
"Suppress the negative, uplift the positive."
Noella I went to school with you, i would love to reconnect if you will ever read this. You are amazing and a bright light shining.
I was in the Seminary with Nick sad to see his dreams of being a priest shuttered hope he can one day live his dreams.
I'd love to be interviewed on mental health too. I battle bipolar, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and ADHD. Life is not easy, but am resilient. Not giving up on myself. Sending love to you Noela
I KNOW HOW YOU CAN BEGIN YOUR HEALING JOURNEY- SEND ME YOUR CONTACT. MENTAL ILLNESS ROOTS FROM A SPIRITUAL TRAUMA, that stemmed from 'Religion' - you saw the young man being Chained??? ITS deeper
Check out the work of dr Joe dispenza and dr Bruce Lipton. They have helped many people heal from mental and physical illness. Also, cold showers or ice baths are great for mental health! Wim hof gives great guidance on cold exposure benefits. Pls do not take cold showers or ice cold baths until you learn the breathing technique required
Her family really stood with her and she has an amazing heart
I've watched this documentary on KTN today and all I can say is that Noella is very strong. All the best to her. She is an iron lady.
Noella's mum reminds me of my mum. She supported all of us no matter what we were going through. Personally she helped me through my depressed state. It was tough losing the one person who holds all of you together.
As a Psychiatric nurse, this breaks my heart into pieces. I have been asking myself how I can be of help to the people back home, still do not have an answer. To even know that managing a Psychiatric condition is hit or miss, in other words, just trying different combinations of medications until an ideal one is found for the specific person for a while adds to my frustration. And just for a while before a readjustment of medications have to be done, again. Then, the costs of medications and the lack of the health insurance system....
I want to help my people as well but I don't know where to start.2 minds put together we can hack this
@SEEK THE TRUTH! no! Islam is toxic, we don't need more division. Africa must unite. Religion is not the answer
BBC (Broadcasting British Colonialism) has completed its metamorphosis from a cruel Colonialist Channel to a jihadi Channel. The mouth piece of a thieving robber of a country which oppressed and killed millions over the centuries is now lecturing other countries on human rights. The colonial white man arrogance on full display
@SEEK THE TRUTH! Jesus Christ is the way the truth, the truth and the life John 14:6// John 3:16For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
Look into cognitive therapy DBT and others, many people find help, success and sometimes healing from these therapies. A pill is not necessarily the answer for everyone
I really needed to see this.I was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago and the journey has not been easy, even loosing jobs because of my diagnosis.And the side effects of the drugs - I can totally relate.
Noela you are a true inspiration.Keep telling your story.
This is brave.. schizophrenia is so stigmatized
I learnt something and I will be supporting people with mental illness,my cousin committed suicide and we had no idea of what she must have been going through 😭😭,keep going guys you are in our prayers
Same thing happened to me when I moved to America. It really damaged my mental health and that in turn affected my physical health. The best decision I made was leaving America. A big waste of money but a great decision
*KENYA WE PROUD OF YOU GIRL* 🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪
This is the same in the Caribbean. My aunt is schizophrenic and my mom once told me that there is nothing wrong with my aunt. My mom is very religious and does not understand mental illnesses. Not only my mom. Mental illness in the Caribbean is a taboo.
Noella and everyone else who is fighting and surviving mental health issues, you are all together beautiful.❤
This is one of the best BBC Africa Documentary I have ever watched.
Having such a supportive family who wants to see you get well is such a blessing
The reality of mental health issues is too real. I lost my mother to mental illness. I was diagnosed with ADHD and High ASD at 35years. I have been a doctor for 9 years and just joined my masters to be a psychiatrist. I don’t think we are anywhere helping our people. The healthcare system especially mental health needs a lot of help and awareness. One thing I have learnt is that in Kenya, people run mainly to religion or alcohol and toxic relationships. That’s how I survived for so long and that’s how most of my patients survive for so long. Thanks for creating awareness
Thank you so much for sharing!
The ANSWERS will NEVER BE FOUND IN SO CALLED HEALTHCARE INDUSTRIES thar intentionally want you DEPENDENT ON DRUG USE. THIS IS A SPIRITUAL WAR, WHOMEVER WANTS THE TRUTH SEND ME YOUR CONTACT
We also have a big community in Rwanda that has the same issues,MAY THE LORD HEAL AFRICA
It is comforting to realize that individuals have similar problems and that they are the same no matter where they are. I am really sorry about her mother , she was a great vibrant woman who never stopped advocating for her daughter during the entire process. I am sure that throughout her life everything was the same. Rest in peace Nella's mum. These documentaries brodan end expand my perspective on people and the world. Respects and heratfelt affections ....
I thought the mum got healed. My heart sunk when I saw the coffin. Mental illness is even harder on those that love the infected. They are the most affected, I have two close family members suffering from bipolar disorder and multipersonalities. I am glad that Noella and David have families that have their backs. My prayer to you is that you continue seeing the light at the end of the tunnel especially on the darker days. Sending virtual hugs🫂🫂🫂🫂 RIP mama Noella, you are appreciated!🕊🕊🕊🕊
Seeing her mum dead just broke me completely.. Praying for love and light to this family💖
So courageous of you Noella. Speaking up about your journey with mental health and putting a face to it. May your voice be heard. So sorry for the loss of your mom
That was courageous of Noella to share her story, may it be an eye opener to those stigmatizing those suffering from mental illness. Educative documentary!
This is so touching.
Having lost my sister to cancer and no longer in touch with my best friend due to bipolar - her mom and partner weren't supportive in following up on treatments - I relate.
Sometimes faith is just the only thing that keeps one and one's family members hoping, going and strong to some very complicated diagnosis. It is not a replacement for other care and must always be compassionate.
I would love to see more of your work and wish you peace.
This is so inspiring yet heartbreaking. May the soul of your beautiful mum rest in eternal peace. Sending you, nick and both of your families light, prayers and hope. You guys are very courageous !
Hugs Noella🤗🤗. Thank you for sharing your story. My teenager has ADHD and CD. There is no shame in seeking help for mental health issues. And this documentary will go along way in lifting the stigma.
Thank you for sharing your story❤️ I also have bipolar, diagnosed last year. I'm really struggling. May Allah make it easier for us all. Ameen.
Aameen Yaa Rabb!
A highly-educative, timely, concise, sympathy-inducing, and professionally documented Documentary. Well done.
I am bipolar 1 and raptured my own tendon at Mathari.
I hate being manic I hate being depressed.i hate the relationship I have lost .
Mental health stigma in Kenya is real
I know how you can begin to heal IF you have a contact I can reach you.
I love this , as an Africa I can say mental illness is not taken seriously. I personally struggle with something but have no idea what exactly it is and I’d be lying if I said I’ll get help any time soon . I’ve learnt to live with myself but it hurts sometimes thinking your brain is broken in some way and not being able to get the help you needs because people don’t take mental health seriously.
Plus it's very very expensive to get treatment in Kenya. Good treatment.
@@timothywanjohi2604 very very true , I just hope one day a lot of people will be able to get the help that they need without having to worry about expenses
@@virtu_ri my hope also
This is unfortunately true. I will admit that even as medic who is in the mental health area, it’s failing a lot of people. I discovered my own mental health late despite being a doctor. PTSD is real. Trauma and mental health issues is real. Being diagnosed with ADHD at 33 years and high functioning autism at 35 years . The stigma and confusion that comes with all this in a country like Kenya is heartbreaking to say the list. Am training to be a psychiatrist, but I honestly don’t think we are anywhere close to helping Kenyans the way we should. Most of us survive through alcohol and cycles of abuse and toxic relationships. It’s the only thing available to us. For those of us who go for religion, we find it’s comforting but we still have to face the reality of mental health. My mum was so religious but still died secondary to mental health problems after her retirement. So as a person on the forefront I understand the frustrations of Kenyans. Even when you listen to citizens of US, their mental health care system ain’t better.
@@shikukimani4443 very true and normally when you exhibit any symptoms of mental illness most Africans jump to the conclusion that you must be bewitched thus the church will save , it’s harmful and has really messed up a lot of people.
Noela, thanks for sharing your story with the world. I laughed, cried and celebrated your wins. I pray many more people with mental health illnesses can be inspired and get the help they need
I have just watched it for the first time today it's disturbing and inspiring at the same, you soldered on Noella
Wow! I'm proud of you Noella. You've done a fantastic job of raising awareness and understanding of mental illness. The personal stories shared in this documentary are moving. My heart goes out to you and your family for the loss of your mom.
When her mum passed, I felt it so deep😢
Oh Nick 💔he's had it worse.
BBC we need a follow up on this wonderful piece by Noella
Noella,when you see this, thank you for letting us into your life. You are an amazing soul and thank you for the noble work that you are doing. Please share your socials, I would like to follow you!
There is something bout this documentary that quickly brings you to the reality of mental challenges. I have a friend who continues to struggle with it. The agony and pain they go through and still manage to work, to love, to care for others and to look forward to better days is a story of resilience in its rawest form. Ohh and that old school Toyota DX station wagon is so cool.!
I've watched the Instagram 5mins snippet and had to watch the whole documentary. Thank you Noella for telling your story. My condolences my mum keep shining with the angels 🕊
Damn! This is well documented may her mum RIP.
What a documentary. So sorry for your lose Noella if you are reading this. Amazing how you've kept your smile. You and Nick are such inspiring people. May God heal the wounds of your souls and grant you peace.
I was balling my eyes out when the mum died
Me too manzee
So inspiring. Mental health is real, we need to start talking about it then eventually people will understand
Mental health is not a Joke when you hear some naive people out there say there is no Mental Health its Just on the Brain unfortunately its like telling those peoples with Asma that its all in thier Lungs more Education surely needed whicg can atleast lower that Stigma which comes with Mental Health .
Noella , Nick and your wonderful supportive families thank you for sharing something so personal with us your stories moved me to tears , I pray you stay well and happy all the days of your lives ❤️
A supportive family is everything!!. You're blessed to have one Noella..
May you find the help that you need in the midst of all these crisis....
This was everything 😭 I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope you can find a way to cope better going forward. And Nick too
You have a strong spirit Noella. This is for a reason, as you are and will touch many lives, by sharing your story very intelligently - clearly your mind despite the challenge is very beautiful and focused. Thank you.
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for such a documentary, when you mentioned seeking help requires vulnerability, I felt that. I wish every one who is going through it a lot of love, you are brave for choosing to get help. So sorry for your loss. Wish you all the best in life.
Couldn't hold back my tears. We have to do better as a black people.
Fighting tears as I watch this.. this is truly touching and informative. I pray for strength, health, and resilience to everyone going through or dealing with mental health issues. 🙏🙏🙏
Would love to see more of your journey. You opened up yourself in such a way that I could probably never do during my battle with a physical illness. It is so important to have a support system, even at least one person to hold your hand and be there for you. I'm glad that your family is very supportive Noella. One thing I've learnt: life is a struggle, but we should never try to give up. There would be times you feel that you can't make it, but try not to listen to those feelings. Sorry for the loss of your mom as well. Just keep on being awesome everyone.
“It’s all the people around you “. Beautifully said.
Each brake down is an opportunity to grow stronger and heal another layer of what's been hurt. The healing that occurs isn't just self healing, but generational healing. Thankyou for sharing your story..🙏🤍🤍
Such an important story. Grateful to Noella for making and sharing this!
Thank you for sharing your story. Mental awareness is one of the reason I will be getting a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology to join other like minded people to help our communities in Kenya
What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably, so sorry for the loss of your mother. You are a hero in opening up this much needed conversation. How can we help?
Thank you Noella for sharing. I shed tears about losing your mum. She loved you so much and believed in you. May her soul Rest In Peace. Thank you Nick for sharing your story as well. Thank you for being there for each other even when the world seemed so dark. I hope one day all these will be a testimony of how and where God brought you from.
Noella you’re brave and what you’re doing it’s actually been one of the innovative changes in MH here abroad. Involving people with lived experience as employees or volunteers in crisis support centres. So well done!! And my condolences about your mum. We had a glimpse of the wonderful woman she was🙏
I feel Soo heart broken 💔 from this story,it is Soo sad but also hopefull the way Noel is resilient and supportive of Nick despite her own struggles. Mental illness is no joke, having been depressed before and had anxiety....we keep praying and hoping for the best. Life has it's ups and downs but we move. Hugs to noella,thanks for sharing
this is the first video on CZcams made me shade tears ..thanks for sharing your story it will really help someone ,and one thing you forgot to inform people where to find you on social media
Went through depression after my mum passed away at only 15 and abused sexually by a close person afterwords...was under medication for insomnia mostly but was just a walking zombie and l don't really remember most part of that season but only some family and friends who believed l was faking it to get attention 🥺 thanks for reaching out and actually talking about this and happy for you for your supportive family 💕❣️
I can't imagine the pain . I wish you heal .
Wishing you a a healing journey
Sorry to hear that
Thank you for sharing a part of your life, I have learned a lot in this video and I pray for anyone fighting mental illnesses. You’ll see so strong. I’ve been holding my tears but tonight I go to bed feeling sad because there are people out there fighting so much.
Wow, so moving, noella , my heart goes out to you, half the time i was holding back my tears seeing what you were going through, your dad and your late are true heroes for standing by you and remaining all the same, kudos to your brother as well, I believe their strength and encouragement helps you encourage others like nick , God bless you, with people like you sharing your story half the battle is won , thank you and God bless
This is really good to share, lots of people have lost loved ones because of mental health illness.
just cried my eyes out.... I don't know how people are surviving this world. So much pain and struggle. God is our anchor in EVERYTHING
As an advocate I am happy to see a coverage of how our voice can make a big difference
Such a beautiful story of hope, lets all stand up and speak about mental health, tying people with chains is not the solution. Good job Noella,Keep checking on Nick ,he is such a gentleman who deserves the best.
I am from Kenya.
My personal story is that I diagnosed my dad with OCD but he doesn't accept it,and he's abusive and a drunk who has a very complex behaviour. All I know is that psychedelics are the future of mental health shrooms and LSD can help in some cases but imagine having to tell you're parents about it?!? crazy ...
one love to all humans
Such will EXASPERATE the illness, NO DRUG CAN HEAL THIS, ITS SPIRITUAL AND I KNOW HOW.
@@Aeon1019 emanicipate your self mental slavery and seek a higher consciousness
Wow!! Thank you for sharing your world with us, Noella. I am so sorry about your mom’s passing and your struggles. You’re in my prayers. God bless you!
The story is so touching ,I love the courage in her to tell her story and her supportive family 🌺🌺😍😍😍😍
Oh Noella I hope you are doing much better now.
I'm a Kenyan living in Kenya. I have been turned away four times trying to seek medical help for depression and anxiety and resorted to self medicating. Please don't follow my route. Be brave and seek help. Don't even tell family and friends, they'll either downplay your feelings, mock you, tell you religion is the answer or offer other ways to resolve your depression other than medical help.
I CAN HELP YOU, IF YOU SEND ME YOUR CONTACT.
Bless you beautiful. You are not alone and may the happiness Gods and Goddesses cure our hearts and minds someday.
I suffer from Bipolar 1 and I can tell you it's hell and a real struggle. I just want to end it all.
Thank you Noella and family, Nick and his grandma are an inspiration too.
I hope you get better every day.
Keep the appointment dates,visit the doctor when you feel unwell. Have the members of the support group close,they mean a lot to everyone.
Will keep you in prayer 🙏
The biggest blessing that you deserve to thank God for is your mother's voice at home . My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was young❤ We Love You NOELLA
Thank you so much for sharing your story and that of many others Noella. I see you and I wish I could take affirmative action to make it better and so will start by sharing this video. Thank you for sharing your story once again ❤
Noella is such an inspiration and phenomenal young lady. May God's presence be with her and her family always ❤️❤️
This is such an important documentary. Good job Noëlla.
I lost my mom 6 months ago was an only child the pain is unbearable believe me
Thank you for sharing - so sorry for your loss!
I am so sorry for your loss! 🙏🏾
Sorry
May God give you peace
I cried when her Mum died she was a good Mum
Keep driving the conversation Noella, watching your film has been inspirational.
God rest her mother's soul........ She was very supportive........ It really broke my heart when she died! May God continue to bless our mothers....... They sacrifice alot
Sending you huge hugs to you Noella. Just watched your documentary, so so emotional😢! So proud of you for sharing your story. Praying for healing for you and Nick. Pole sana for the loss of your mum too.
Thanks for sharing your story with the world Noella and letting us into your life.
Noelle has just become one of my favorite people in the world. ❤
Hey Noella. Take heart.
And your mum is one of a kind, she has been supportive. I can't help but thin about how confusing it might have been for her, but she's been with you all through.