My Girlfriend! | Jimmy Carr

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  • čas přidán 2. 01. 2020
  • So apparently I mention my girlfriend a lot...here's a tribute to all the times i've given her a shout out over the years!
    The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
    For the latest tour dates and tickets: www.jimmycarr.com/live/
    #JimmyCarr #Comedy #StandUp
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 274

  • @robertmuller9132
    @robertmuller9132 Před 4 lety +467

    Trust is most important. Without trust, how can you be sure she won't tell your wife?

    • @balasmj
      @balasmj Před 3 lety +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @bankbucket2616
      @bankbucket2616 Před 3 lety +4

      as long as your wife doesnt go in the basement

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Před 4 lety +1251

    My girl was so bad at blowies that I married her to ensure I'd never have to receive one from her ever again.

  • @grf15
    @grf15 Před 4 lety +567

    I certainly hope his girlfriend has a sense of humor. Jimmy's comedy is pretty brutal sometimes.

    • @rocarlosdavis622
      @rocarlosdavis622 Před 4 lety +6

      I disagree...relieving yes but just not brutal like the #1 movie called 300..😥😘😇

    • @henrikhyrup3995
      @henrikhyrup3995 Před 4 lety +16

      "sometimes"??

    • @bennettlane4274
      @bennettlane4274 Před 3 lety +5

      And what makes you think this "girlfriend" actually exists :D

    • @joyre1679
      @joyre1679 Před 3 lety +13

      They've been together for 19 years. I'm guessing she likes him 😂

    • @thegrowsausage6605
      @thegrowsausage6605 Před 3 lety +1

      I think you spelt brilliant wrong.

  • @beachgirl48
    @beachgirl48 Před 3 lety +28

    I think Ricky Gervais's girlfriend, Jane, and Jimmy's girlfriend could write a fabulous book. LOL

  • @bboywProductions
    @bboywProductions Před 4 lety +225

    Jimmy whoever is doing these thumbnails is doing man dirty yano 🤣

  • @lukarochon2700
    @lukarochon2700 Před 4 lety +217

    he feels to me like a bloated Lucifer😂

  • @travisinhouston
    @travisinhouston Před 4 lety +143

    Jimmy, in my darkest hour; you have made me laugh and feel better. I’ve listened to you on CZcams during my road trips and laughed so much. Thank You 👍🏻

  • @jedgould5531
    @jedgould5531 Před 4 lety +31

    Saw Jimmy’s show from the front row and my phone rang. Started telling the audience no one ever calls me with my American accent, and he only asked if he could answer. Never did find out who called, but he selfied with me in the background, the only person not laughing. My ringer hasn’t been on since.

  • @nindraco3173
    @nindraco3173 Před 4 lety +257

    If Jimmy Carr offends you.
    Well, mission accomplished.

  • @kellingtonlink956
    @kellingtonlink956 Před 4 lety +8

    A brilliant mix. Thanks for the video

  • @briggaskin
    @briggaskin Před 4 lety +11

    Old but gold. Quality.

  • @muuuuuud
    @muuuuuud Před 4 lety +57

    12 years? Have you developed an immunity to pepper spray yet Jimmy? :D

  • @j0hnnyquango606
    @j0hnnyquango606 Před 4 lety +42

    “Maybe try the shocker, two in the pink, one in the stink”

  • @Bladerxdxi
    @Bladerxdxi Před 4 lety +18

    Finally someone with German Humor

  • @hadiisaboss5307
    @hadiisaboss5307 Před 4 lety +18

    I love watching him because I'm still amazed how he went to the same school as my mum when he was a kid

  • @SML1010THAI
    @SML1010THAI Před 4 lety +10

    This guy is brilliant 😂😂😂👌🇬🇧

  • @octavianionescu5625
    @octavianionescu5625 Před 4 lety +15

    10:25 mind giving me a hand?

  • @jasonforpresident5678
    @jasonforpresident5678 Před 6 měsíci

    4:43 the anger lmao

  • @spadeghostvampire666
    @spadeghostvampire666 Před 4 lety +1

    That was really great! :)

  • @nonofyabidnez5737
    @nonofyabidnez5737 Před 4 lety

    Jimmy is the best!

  • @iamplay797
    @iamplay797 Před 4 lety +3

    lol jimmy is hilarious

  • @drewlovelyhell4892
    @drewlovelyhell4892 Před 4 lety +40

    That's an incredibly unflattering thumbnail image.

  • @IIDBTechII
    @IIDBTechII Před 4 lety +15

    I couldn't find a way to insult how obnoxious the thumbnail is so here is a Dr. Seuss inspired poem:
    "Some are up close, some from afar, I want them to know that I am Jimmy Carr,
    Maybe my face, maybe add a grin, make me look like the third Bugdanoff twin"

  • @Surv1ve_Thrive
    @Surv1ve_Thrive Před 4 lety +45

    His laugh is like Eddie Murphy dressed as a seal being clubbed. Am getting used to it. Am fairly sure he developed it a few years into his act.

    • @wudupfammm8555
      @wudupfammm8555 Před 4 lety +1

      he made up or introduced that laugh in one show. its on utube but i dont remember which one.

  • @YodaMan.
    @YodaMan. Před 4 lety +177

    ive often thought jimmy is gay. and just says "my girlfriend" to cover. kinda like nobody thought jons wife existed till she was on an episode of cats and we actually saw her unbound and not having an adverse reaction to the sun

    • @ChiSbaObePcheH11
      @ChiSbaObePcheH11 Před 4 lety +14

      I mean, there's actually pictures of them out together on the internet, her name is Karoline i think; but i get bi vibes from him anyway

    • @peterjoyfilms
      @peterjoyfilms Před 4 lety +23

      Plenty of straight men are a bit effeminate

    • @edu-kt
      @edu-kt Před 4 lety +15

      ...and by gay you mean he owns a coat?. Lol.

    • @gospodinblanco5138
      @gospodinblanco5138 Před 4 lety +1

      @@peterjoyfilms Where? lol

    • @georgeadams5390
      @georgeadams5390 Před 4 lety +18

      He's British so how can you tell. Sorry couldn't help it

  • @fahimahmed5046
    @fahimahmed5046 Před 3 lety

    Jimmy you're AWESOME 👏👍👏

  • @davidsmith7456
    @davidsmith7456 Před 4 lety +1

    He cracks me up! ~hahahahahaha

  • @richmarsh5029
    @richmarsh5029 Před 4 lety +1

    Classic Jimmy

  • @MyMagicman3000
    @MyMagicman3000 Před 4 lety +1

    Its hard to resist such thumbnail like this one

  • @W42PZ
    @W42PZ Před 4 lety +5

    Jimmy’s new teeth are hilarious! 🦷

  • @MikeHunt420
    @MikeHunt420 Před 4 lety +15

    i can tell frankie is writing some of these jokes

  • @AliAbbas05
    @AliAbbas05 Před 4 lety +5

    He has an awesome sense of humor..very different

  • @liamdoes8580
    @liamdoes8580 Před 4 lety +16

    That thumbnail startled me

  • @QjuiceEPLE
    @QjuiceEPLE Před 4 lety +27

    Long live King Carr! Those abortion jokes were brutal.

    • @Friendship1nmillion
      @Friendship1nmillion Před 4 lety

      SHOULDN'T be encouraged!! Very insensitive, along with making "Jokes" about being a Pedophile. 👨‍⚖ "👨‍🎤->🙊" 🙄🤬

    • @Parkerlee1000
      @Parkerlee1000 Před 4 lety +5

      Someone hasn't got a sense of humour

  • @RobeonMew
    @RobeonMew Před 4 lety +9

    5:03 gifs tell everyone how you feel about them

  • @Redstagwsmnp
    @Redstagwsmnp Před 3 lety

    Love the grey hound dress lol

  • @christopherbeattie3126

    Best comic now a days. Can get away with his Witt

  • @HelmetBlissta
    @HelmetBlissta Před 3 lety +9

    Imagine being Jimmy's girlfriend

  • @kphillips7922
    @kphillips7922 Před 4 lety +1

    Fkin ruthless

  • @the-monkey-man3852
    @the-monkey-man3852 Před 4 lety +4

    Had my laughing for 14 minutes

  • @frowningJoker
    @frowningJoker Před 4 lety +96

    I prefer Jimmy with natural teeth, he seemed more to the bone.

    • @aceman0000099
      @aceman0000099 Před 4 lety

      Is that supposed to be a joke?

    • @livedandletdie
      @livedandletdie Před 4 lety +3

      Who wants a regular set of fuckugly teeth. New teeth looks better.

  • @nickevershedmusic8927
    @nickevershedmusic8927 Před 4 lety +15

    Jimmies girlfriend sounds like a boyfriend, in fact he sounds like jimmy

  • @zezezanotti9165
    @zezezanotti9165 Před 4 lety +26

    This is Stewie Griffin from Family Guy all grown up

  • @carlomarcario5027
    @carlomarcario5027 Před 3 lety

    Awesome

  • @SuperMustseetv
    @SuperMustseetv Před 4 lety +2

    Jim.....you are the Best comedian in the UK.

  • @ruanbotha9372
    @ruanbotha9372 Před 4 lety +4

    Come to South Africa again

  • @HetLedie
    @HetLedie Před 4 lety +1

    I want Carr to play Eddie Cantor in a biopic

  • @mayorhjs7452
    @mayorhjs7452 Před 4 lety

    I love 💕

  • @samuellawrencesbookclub8250

    His girlfriend must have the thickest or thick skins

  • @ItsJish
    @ItsJish Před 4 lety +12

    Jimmy: *complains about girlfriend*
    Me: (no girlfriend) sucks to be single I guess..

  • @bligaderski
    @bligaderski Před 3 lety +2

    I haven’t seen anyone else say it and I need it to be seen. Jimmy Carr looks like Ralph Fiennes but a little off. Like the beginning of Voldemort makeup.

  • @morashid4902
    @morashid4902 Před 4 lety +3

    Ur too funny jimmy.😂😂😂😂

  • @guamflyer1
    @guamflyer1 Před 4 lety +2

    enjoyed the jokes...thanks...

  • @ReventiX
    @ReventiX Před 3 lety

    Lovely, Jimmy. Queen's loves U. U must be her favorite! :D

  • @bethstones9307
    @bethstones9307 Před 4 lety +42

    Hey Jimmy, I’m so weirdly attracted to you, you are so funny

    • @nicosmind3
      @nicosmind3 Před 4 lety +23

      How old are you? I know Jimmy does a lot of work for charity

    • @bethstones9307
      @bethstones9307 Před 4 lety +3

      Bitchute is better than CZcams
      I’m 17

    • @juddwillard
      @juddwillard Před 4 lety +12

      I thought he told you to stay in the truck.

    • @jamesmason131
      @jamesmason131 Před 4 lety +3

      @Borko Borko thinking of the wrong Jimmy fella

    • @gospodinblanco5138
      @gospodinblanco5138 Před 4 lety +2

      @@nicosmind3 gg

  • @TrickyUtah
    @TrickyUtah Před 4 lety +8

    This is the only 47 year old man i would allow yo hang out with me

  • @whoisgoogle
    @whoisgoogle Před 4 lety +2

    Hi Jimmy

  • @mister8765
    @mister8765 Před 4 lety

    “Two in the pink one in the stink” my god that was funny!!

  • @Cruzy1892
    @Cruzy1892 Před 4 lety +1

    The Shocker?? Is he a Steel Panther fan?? Haha

  • @TheFarCobra
    @TheFarCobra Před 10 měsíci

    For the record, “That thing she does with her tongue” is to not talk, non stop, from the moment you walk through the door.

  • @MC-xv2tn
    @MC-xv2tn Před 4 lety +10

    0:30 Jamie vardy thinks he’s slick 👀

  • @RealFemale69
    @RealFemale69 Před 4 lety +4

    The thumbnail says he has never had one

  • @philiporlando2052
    @philiporlando2052 Před 4 lety +7

    Hey Jimmy please reply to this, you are a great comedian, I'm so glad I found ur channel and comedy you make me smile and laugh all the time, you always bring up my mood thank you so much

    • @titmusspaultpaul5
      @titmusspaultpaul5 Před 4 lety +1

      Just wondering how you wanted Jimmy to reply because you didn't ask s question or say pretty much anything he could even comment on.

    • @samjoshi1812
      @samjoshi1812 Před 4 lety

      That was the deadest interchange I've seen on CZcams comments

    • @adriandiaz706
      @adriandiaz706 Před 4 lety +1

      Philip Orlando you’re quite the loser mate 😂

    • @philiporlando2052
      @philiporlando2052 Před 4 lety +1

      @@adriandiaz706 why I'm just joking around, there's nothing serious

    • @mattcullen6109
      @mattcullen6109 Před 4 lety +8

      @@adriandiaz706 do you feel stronger now mate?

  • @saimachaudhry6306
    @saimachaudhry6306 Před 4 lety +13

    I bet she loved this! 😂
    But it's not stirring it up a bit or being rude, it's been 18 years, it's just curiosity ...
    💍🖐️🤷???
    Sorry!!!! 😅

    • @buzjevur
      @buzjevur Před 4 lety

      What? Putting a third finger in?

    • @conorf8091
      @conorf8091 Před 4 lety

      It’s a cover up. Girlfriend isn’t really his girlfriend

  • @kaczan3
    @kaczan3 Před 10 měsíci

    It feels like his "my girlfriend" jokes are also "yo' momma" jokes

  • @JesusisJesus
    @JesusisJesus Před 3 lety

    Ahh ahh ahhhhh!!!

  • @mimoochodom2684
    @mimoochodom2684 Před 4 lety +2

    2 in the pink, one in the stink. LMFAO....even though I've heard it a dozen times before.

  • @TheAswathama
    @TheAswathama Před 4 lety +26

    I have watched too much. This was like a revising session for his jokes

  • @supermarc
    @supermarc Před 4 lety +3

    7:15 What is that sound??

  • @rustzz8
    @rustzz8 Před 4 lety +7

    My ex used to pull that jumping out of the car thing until I got fed up with it and never came back one time. She was so hard headed she walked 10 miles home.

    • @theallseeingeye9388
      @theallseeingeye9388 Před 4 lety +1

      Same experience here.
      Only difference is yours is now called an experience with the ex. Lucky you.
      And the one time you left her and she had to walk back? That opens another door to a fountain of hate that becomes a source for instant rage on slow days.

    • @joshdunham7167
      @joshdunham7167 Před 4 lety +2

      @@theallseeingeye9388 oh man, I had a girlfriend like that who'd threaten to jump out of the car, this one time I told her that if she's gonna do it, she's gotta unlock the door and take of the seat belt and increased the speed. Needless to say she sat there quietly for the rest of the ride.

  • @ReasonablySkeptic
    @ReasonablySkeptic Před 4 lety +12

    He's cleaver and has good jokes, but his laugh is the stuff of nightmares.

    • @abhishake24
      @abhishake24 Před 4 lety +3

      The only thing that's full of nightmares is your spelling of the word 'clever'

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive Před 4 lety

      Dan it's like Eddie Murphy dressed as a seal being clubbed

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive Před 4 lety +1

      Dan he is 'cleaver', sharp as a knife! :)

    • @youthoob5561
      @youthoob5561 Před 4 lety +1

      So “cleaver”

  • @kansascityshuffle8526
    @kansascityshuffle8526 Před 4 lety +13

    Jimmy Carr is his own girlfriend?

  • @brandonbenjamin9452
    @brandonbenjamin9452 Před 4 lety +4

    Is this entire channel just reuploads?

  • @rudeboymon3177
    @rudeboymon3177 Před 4 lety +1

    Arrested for curb crawling. Thats a good punchline. Her dress was short 😆

  • @petercyriljones
    @petercyriljones Před 4 lety +4

    You look like Roger Federer.

  • @tanyascott2195
    @tanyascott2195 Před 4 lety +1

    Lovenyhidnit is quite funny

  • @baumwolke2078
    @baumwolke2078 Před 3 lety

    His steeringwheel is so small I kind of think his driving a bobbycar

  • @Psyrecx
    @Psyrecx Před 4 lety +14

    Ewww... If I had Carr's GF, I'd swap for the girl in the crowd.
    At least that girl didn't have a shark fin on her face... Then again, it could save you some money on some soup.

  • @voodjin
    @voodjin Před 4 lety

    What are you saying at 10:04 (you kind of swallowed the last words^^). "I'm not gonna swap...what?"

    • @alchmon1714
      @alchmon1714 Před 4 lety +1

      Im not gonna swap with her\you. Basicly said he didn't want to swap because she was too ugly

    • @rndmdrwrreedr8483
      @rndmdrwrreedr8483 Před 3 lety +1

      “I’m not gonna swap if that’s ok”

  • @cyclingpanda1
    @cyclingpanda1 Před 4 lety +2

    13:02 Geezus they're huge

  • @outsidermusic4723
    @outsidermusic4723 Před 4 lety

    does anyone else hate it when he says "my girlfriend"

  • @FolkyVale
    @FolkyVale Před 4 lety

    Titan Uranus

  • @superstormday993
    @superstormday993 Před 2 lety

    😂😂😂😂

  • @Chris-Top-HerB
    @Chris-Top-HerB Před 4 lety +3

    Think of sex as a game of snooker. If the pink's blocked by the red, go for the brown.

  • @ThePapaMishka
    @ThePapaMishka Před 4 lety

    The best boyfriend is the one you can tell anything to. He's not telling ot to anyone. Because he's not listening. Not anymore.

  • @timthompson7205
    @timthompson7205 Před rokem

    Only in England could a man named Adolf be called a girlfriend.

  • @SteveCowlishaw
    @SteveCowlishaw Před 4 lety +38

    Come on, mate, it's not acceptable to refer to your mother as your girlfriend.

    • @thebob3712
      @thebob3712 Před 4 lety +12

      but you seem to think its acceptable that your dad refers to you as his girlfriend.

    • @huzzzer6083
      @huzzzer6083 Před 4 lety

      @@thebob3712 r/murderedbywords

  • @rogerlundstrom6926
    @rogerlundstrom6926 Před 2 lety

    Hmm.. I never considered the possibility of "GIFs" being important in a relationship.

  • @CarbiesChronicles
    @CarbiesChronicles Před rokem +1

    dear god the things men go through just to be in a relationship...

  • @tillyhossain1049
    @tillyhossain1049 Před 4 lety +3

    I'm sorry but the thumbnail...

  • @trey670
    @trey670 Před 3 lety

    Ох уж эти вымышленные девушки

  • @JM-ec5fj
    @JM-ec5fj Před 3 lety

    My bad

  • @mrpentium
    @mrpentium Před 2 lety

    40 miles per hour ? Isnt this in Europe ?

    • @jrd33
      @jrd33 Před rokem

      Speed limits in the UK are in mph, as are car speedometers. We're kinda half metric...

  • @stephenprince6746
    @stephenprince6746 Před 4 lety +2

    Does this guy really have a girlfriend or all his jokes seem impossible to happen xD

  • @murphh57
    @murphh57 Před 4 lety

    taxi

  • @woodyleece5021
    @woodyleece5021 Před 4 lety

    😂😂😂

  • @halfameatballz
    @halfameatballz Před rokem +1

    Why does Jim look like a gay British Seth MacFarlane

  • @TeeteringTod
    @TeeteringTod Před 4 lety +1

    Much like me boy Jimmy, I like em 16.

  • @ThePostalGril
    @ThePostalGril Před 4 lety +19

    2000: my wife
    2010: my girlfriend
    2020: my gender non-binary transfriend

  • @thelusogerman3021
    @thelusogerman3021 Před 4 lety +3

    aw come on man bottom button is a big no no