6 Rules for Relationships

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  • čas přidán 11. 07. 2024
  • Every Narcissistic Relationship has all the red flags one would wish to find.
    What about the Green Flags? What about the Signs a Relationship is actually good?
    Watch the video to find 6 RULES for a healthy relationship
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    Timestamps:
    00:00 | Intro
    01:16 | Rule 1: Your partner is separate from you.
    03:56 | Rule 2: No means no.
    09:13 | Rule 3: Own your own stuff. You're not perfect.
    12:14 | Rule 4: Equal means equal (but not recommended for romance, being fair is better)
    13:36 | Rule 5: Let them be their own Person (Growth & Change)
    16:44 | Rule 6: Speak up, Negative Feedback is OK
    24:43 | Q&A Session
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    DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL.
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    #relationship #Abuse #RichardGrannon
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Komentáře • 477

  • @jaywalks9918
    @jaywalks9918 Před rokem +201

    1. Your partner is separate from you.
    2. No means no.
    3. Own your own stuff. You're not perfect.
    4. Equal means equal (but not recommended for romance, being fair is better)
    5. Let people be people.
    6. Negative feedback is okay. Speak up.

    • @prismonthethehorizon5793
      @prismonthethehorizon5793 Před rokem +10

      Nice one for typing it out Jay 👍 Thanks xx

    • @rosieclarke4073
      @rosieclarke4073 Před rokem +3

      Appreciate it

    • @Specialkfree
      @Specialkfree Před rokem +19

      I would ADD: ensure both partners are sober! You can’t have a healthy relationship when one or both are using substances.

    • @rosieclarke4073
      @rosieclarke4073 Před rokem +2

      @@Specialkfree absolutely 💯

    • @ronelavassal6616
      @ronelavassal6616 Před rokem +1

      I don't worry much about nasty horrible person, anymore, music is all I need or Netflix on if not Utub chanel. all good for me, brilliant.

  • @cynthiajohnson9412
    @cynthiajohnson9412 Před rokem +32

    If you look at social media, how may 'couples' photos do you see where one partner is beaming from ear to ear with a firm grasp on their partner's arm, and the other partner has a pasted on smile and that deer in the headlights look. Most people probably don't notice that, but I do. And I'm gonna put a pin in that observation and see if it isn't some strong indicator for the future of that relationship.

    • @barnsleysniper
      @barnsleysniper Před 5 měsíci +2

      I looked back on every single family photo and the only one who looks happy is her
      Even the kids look unhappy

  • @dawnross2514
    @dawnross2514 Před rokem +9

    Can testify that resentment kills love & relationship. My ex knows that now, he ignored my clearly expressed wishes one time too many & it's goodbye to 20+ years. Everyone has their limit & I reached mine.

    • @personne3837
      @personne3837 Před rokem

      Same here, after 9 years i couldn't stay anymore with him. So much resentment toward him, I gave him a second chance but it was too late, all the resentment has killed my love for him.

    • @randomactsofhugs
      @randomactsofhugs Před rokem +1

      9 1/2 was my limit it was very difficult. Getting better finding myself. Funny ive been here waiting for me to be me. Here i am

    • @randomactsofhugs
      @randomactsofhugs Před rokem

      Ive been greiving for the last 5 years of the relationship hoping. I know that hope is dead . It will ok now I will be allright i can forgive myself for the crap fit i tried to make work but gave up finnally . I learned alot from him and pray he can find himself but he thinks hes the victim and will allways blame everbody for all things. I am sorry i hurt us both. Airhugs of positive loving energy to any one that needs one. Truly to bad i wont hug him any more sont want to be touched by him ever again.

  • @Hawaiiansky11
    @Hawaiiansky11 Před rokem +79

    My beloved Gary impressed me with so many things, but there was one thing he did NOT do that really impressed me: he never, not once, pathologized emotions.
    So many people and men in particular, say nasty things to women when we express emotions. I have a soft heart and cry often. I was told by someone else that I was just using tears to manipulate him. Gary told me, "Crying just means you have a good heart."
    When I got mad, Gary didn't call me emotional or moody, accuse me of "being on the rag" or having PMS. He apologized, tried to correct it, or *argued back* because he, too, had a valid point!
    When I was confused, he explained things. He never tried to make me feel dumb or ignorant for not knowing everything he knew.
    Gary did NOT call me names or make it seem like there was something wrong with me for expressing emotions.
    I made it safe for him, too, to be strong, angry, upset, scared and sad. He cried in front of me more than once, and I empathized with and comforted him. Not once did I find him less masculine for expressing himself honestly.
    Men and women are given the exact same range of emotions. Nobody should believe that one sex is not allowed to access the same emotions as the other.

    • @LilDevs
      @LilDevs Před rokem +4

      Ah, this post. 😊

    • @LilDevs
      @LilDevs Před rokem +9

      This is beautiful to read. You were very lucky to have experienced this kind of joy and love, both of you. This is what most strive for in a relationship, I believe. When I find this, I will let you know! 👀 I also cry all the time. Can’t help it, it just pours out of me. He sounds like an amazing soul. ❤️

    • @juliehorsley48
      @juliehorsley48 Před rokem +4

      Thank you for sharing your experience. It warms my heart.

    • @chrismullin8304
      @chrismullin8304 Před rokem +3

      I look forward to meeting Gary, when my time comes.
      I am also positive, he looks forward to seeing you again!
      -Only Love Remains

    • @johannagrace7768
      @johannagrace7768 Před rokem +2

      Your post brought tears to my eyes. If I had the ability to express as clearly and beautifully as you, I would say the same about my Peter. Love- Real Love- is a precious treasure worth working and fighting for.

  • @zoeh1964
    @zoeh1964 Před rokem +17

    A lot of us have learned these lessons late but better late than never. A lot of people sleepwalk through life and die a bitter, resentful victim

  • @pickle9753
    @pickle9753 Před rokem +4

    “Abandon all hope, hope prolongs suffering”

  • @ingridelknermusic
    @ingridelknermusic Před rokem +48

    I was surprised by how shocked I felt to hear you say that negative criticism shouldn't end up in a fight. I feel like I've known few people who don't take an ego wounding and turn it into a miniature war. Either they turn it inwards and punish themselves, or turn it outwards and punish me. It's odd to me that there are people out there who voice issues without a battle commencing.

    • @juliekong5013
      @juliekong5013 Před rokem +2

      Yes, also my experience.

    • @marlajacques6947
      @marlajacques6947 Před rokem +2

      Same and it causes me to gradually slip into an almost avoidant type behaviour which doesn’t feel right

  • @staystrong9030
    @staystrong9030 Před rokem +95

    I want to thank you a lot for your videos. I binge watched them at the end of 2018 and then I planned my escape literally with the strength your videos gave me then and now I am more then happy to tell you I planned everything and moved out and moved in somewhere else with my child and I was as strong as I could possibly be. My narc ex was really annoying and stalking and so on but I kept beeing consistent, calling police, not responding and after about 5-6 months I had my freedom and my peace. Its now almost 5 years ago that happened and I finally found your channel again. Thank you so much!!! I am sure you helped a lot please keep uo your work. Greetings from Austria

    • @Sandra-mq1nb
      @Sandra-mq1nb Před rokem +7

      What a gorgeous encouragement for all humans around the world🙏 Yes Richard, you're doing an awesome job - thank youuuuu♥
      Be all blessed & greetings from Switzerland🌟

    • @CroisMoi
      @CroisMoi Před rokem +8

      That is an inspiring story. I'm so glad you got away. Yes, Richard is helping a lot of people by making these videos. Even as he is attacked by others.

    • @bbdn5123
      @bbdn5123 Před rokem +3

      Seems like 2018 has been life changing for more people. I too left, went NC in 2018. Just now stepping out of the shadows. Grateful that I got new perspectives and clarity. The kind people from youtube gained me so much knowledge. It's still heavy. Funny, the last couple of months I slowly started coming back. Perception got clouded... At last starting this new year, it's gonna be even more life altering in my own new house and starting trauma therapy. Giving myself permission and time to figure stuff out ánd with help is something foreign to me. Take care ☝🏽🌌💖💫

    • @kokoskokso
      @kokoskokso Před rokem +3

      Hi from Vienna!

    • @personne3837
      @personne3837 Před rokem +3

      Same here, 2018 was the year i decided to save my life. I left him with only 300e in my pocket, no roof above my head, no job nothing but God. It's been excruciating but thank God, now I have my own apartment, my job, I've been healing my childhood traumas, I've been taking care of myself, traveling.
      I'm ready to meet someone, I smell red flags from miles, i close my door anytime something/someone is off, i think I'm prepared but as long as i haven't try again i couldn't be sure about it.

  • @johannagrace7768
    @johannagrace7768 Před rokem +5

    I just feel the need to make this point…a healthy relationship is not healthy 100% of the time. You WILL go through periods of time when your relationship is not great, and sometimes it can be downright dysfunctional. But the trajectory, if you get it right, is towards healing for both partners. The love of my life can be angry, possessive, rigid and messy. I can be controlling, arrogant, unforgiving and inconsistent. The challenge of overcoming our significant traumas while caring for each other and our son can sometimes be overwhelming. But we persevere. And we win. I love the rules Richard.

  • @colettemitchell3412
    @colettemitchell3412 Před rokem +36

    I've never had a healthy relationship either. I don't really understand what one is. I do have good friends that I trust. That is a wonderful thing. Honesty is so important if you do find someone and if you want to find someone I feel you will have a good relationship. Thank you Richard. This was a very valuable discussion.

  • @Meowch3
    @Meowch3 Před rokem +33

    This moved me... It changed me as a person. I'm sending this video to all my friends.
    Seriously though, from my experience this is very on-point. I think most of the 6 points come down to control. People forget that everyone has a basic need for autonomy. We hate being controlled, and we must respect that fact if we're to make a relationship work. The sacrifices you make have to be done out of your own desire to do them. The moment you feel coerced into doing them is the moment problems emerge.
    My own story -- I've been married for 5 years, but was quite unhappy for the first two. I wanted more spontaneous physical affection, and he just could not give it to me. On the other hand, he nitpicked my cleaning habits. In particular, he wanted me to keep the sink clear of dirty dishes at all times. We fought about these silly things again and again, but of course underneath those problems were the real pain points: "I don't want you to control me." + "Am I not good enough for you as I am now?" + "I feel unloved when you don't do what I ask."
    When I'd ask him for a hug or a kiss, I'd secretly feel resentment. I had told him a million times that I wanted these hugs and kisses out of the blue and that they would make me so happy. I thought that he must not really care for me if he knew that and still didn't do it. He said that it just didn't enter into his mind to do it. He would become more affectionate at first but gradually forget again.
    I felt unloved, but I was no better. If I really loved him, then why didn't I do the damn dishes for him? There in fact was no profound reason. I simply hated doing them. It was as simple as that, because my love for him had NOTHING to do with doing the dishes, even if I knew it would make him happy. Logically they were connected -- I love him, X makes him happy, then I should want to do X as much as possible. But that ignores my own feelings about X, which in reality take center stage.
    And that's when it all clicked and my resentment vanished. His lack of physical affection wasn't about me. I understood, REALLY understood, not just intellectually, but as a feeling in my body, that he wasn't a physically affectionate person. It's not who he is. Me asking him for a hug or a kiss isn't silly -- it's how I help him help me. Or I throw myself onto him and give him a bear hug. He loves it, I love it. We're both happy.
    As for the dishes, I told him that I wasn't trying to spite him. I just really hated doing them and trying to keep the sink always looking perfect stressed me out. The magic words: "I'm sorry, I've tried and I've failed over and over again. If it really bothers you that much, just do it yourself please." And that's really all there was to it.
    I think all 6 points were encapsulated here - recognizing that we're separate, no means no, owning your stuff, being equal/fair, letting people be who they are, and speaking up.

    • @juliekong5013
      @juliekong5013 Před rokem +5

      This was a really good description, and helpful. There's a humility here, and self-awareness/maturity - taking personal responsibility to solve the issues in the relationship dynamic. Relationships take work, as Richard says.
      Also, there's a willingness to hear and honor the other person's perspective, which of course is the opposite of control
      I'm just further processing all these things, trying to pinpoint some of the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

  • @aNnAkt1qw
    @aNnAkt1qw Před rokem +6

    No judgement, no expection, no control. Being the best version of yourself, authentic, respectful... navigate, communicate and compromise.

  • @Hguychildandyouth
    @Hguychildandyouth Před rokem +22

    I pray for you Richard. I'm thankful for your work. It helped me at the right time. I had to see myself first, accept the truth about me, and see the dance for what it was. I did die to self...thats a story for sure. It really struck me when your video with Sam came out about what process we must go through to truly be free. I went through this process. I've been single purposely since figuring out what was going on. Focused on my education after raising children and still raising a 14 year old, and graduating in four months. I know for a fact, I'll never be in an unhealthy relationship again. I am a different person, not lonely, and patient. I know I'll take my time this time...and I have no interest in going about things the way I did before. Best wishes to everyone!

  • @staywellandstrong4199
    @staywellandstrong4199 Před rokem +6

    Best lines of the day, so far: role playing.. "Pretend you are my abusive ex-boyfriend."
    ("Well, if that's what you really want...")

  • @sweetgrasshopper
    @sweetgrasshopper Před rokem +6

    "Grief is a strength" Oh My!!!! I did the 30 day challenge in July, but I'm so grateful for this reminder 🥴😌🥰

  • @sesiliaka
    @sesiliaka Před rokem +16

    All these ‘negative’ experiences, or I’d rather call them ‘learning curves’, I can very much relate. Nodding my head as I watch this video 😅. As always Richard, thx for the insights 👊🏽

  • @Little.R
    @Little.R Před rokem +6

    My last relationship ended because I said "I cannot be your therapist anymore." It's really sad because I still love them very much.

  • @loribehr5967
    @loribehr5967 Před rokem +7

    Hi Richard. You have come to my attention recently during my search for understanding the narcissistic that I was part of for decades. I find you humble and helpful as well as honest. Thank you.

  • @vital.elements
    @vital.elements Před rokem +3

    "I clearly know what I'm doing. Look at my notes." 📝😄💯

  • @marietjejansen
    @marietjejansen Před rokem +10

    Not to boost your ego, but maybe some comfort. With every relationship-loss and grief, there seems to be a lesson learned. You teach by sharing your own errors, and that to me is really trustworthy.
    The wisdom you share whilst being vulnerable and hurt strikes a chord.

  • @crystalnorthhealing
    @crystalnorthhealing Před rokem +11

    One last one. Richard, I love your complete honesty in that you've never been in a healthy relationship. Nor have I, even though that's what I strive for. I'd hope you wouldn't be so hard on yourself with that one and feeling like you're not qualified. Who is, really? And it's not your fault you haven't found someone to be in a healthy relationship yet, and just the same for any of us including me. We've been doing our best. Right? We can't make another person understand all we know and conform, of course, even though that would be great! hahaha! No. I think we just haven't found the right person yet who is willing to do the same, but it can happen. However many of us are out there. Can't be giving up hope and all that shit, or feeling like we're not qualified to know what a good one might look like. I think you did stupendous! And you can take that to the bank, my dear. A very Happy New Year from the great white north to you and all!!!

  • @Adam-wn3qu
    @Adam-wn3qu Před rokem +7

    Hi Richard. Just wanted to say big thanks in public for the work you do. It helped me a lot to survive a terrible split up with my psychopath narc (she) and all the terrible things happened over the last 5 yearss of my life and a terrible split up process. I’m Know much better boundried, beliving in myself, beliving in my observations and listening to my inner voice and feelings. I was such an orthodox codependent empath scared all the Time. 50 years old men finally living his best Time in life ! Cheers!

  • @meridians_
    @meridians_ Před rokem +4

    Ram Dass said "compassion stated simply is leaving other people alone." This has become a mantra to me since recovering from cPTSD. It's so hard to do - but seeing how this culture (especially The Discourse) does nothing but break boundaries and get over-involved in judging other people's behaviours & lives, it is easier to see how & why I should learn to butt out and let people be. Blessings, Richie.

  • @juliehorsley48
    @juliehorsley48 Před rokem +9

    Thank you Richard. I love your reflections and suggestions. We self-betray when we "fall for" for the potential rather than the person. I've been contemplating relationship alot. Particularly whether my journey is to live in relationship or in community. I feel a lot of peace when in my hermithood and yet have learned so much about myself in relationships. I am more and more moved to see relationship as crucible, charnel ground and as covenant. Something more than a contract or a sequence of transactions. In the West we have disavowed all kinds of the sacred for too long, in my view. In my experience, where there has been a sacred covenant, a shared vision and a dedication to a higher purpose with clear, healthy boundaries and expectations, the relationship has been a soul forging and a personally evolutionary experience.

  • @johannagrace7768
    @johannagrace7768 Před rokem +3

    Rule #2 is GREAT! The last (and final) relationship I had with a person who displayed some narcissistic traits (a friend) ended when I said, “No”. She asked for something from me that she sincerely believed was a reasonable request, but I was neither willing nor able to agree. She was asking more from me than I was willing to give. So she ended the friendship. I was so relieved…so many of my friendships with other women have been about them using me to process their negative emotions. No more. If you are a woman who does this- it is not healthy and there is a cost to the other person. Learn how to process your own stuff and regulate your own emotions and your relationships will be richer and more satisfying.

  • @carlabruni5223
    @carlabruni5223 Před rokem +2

    As for "who am I to talk about..." - there is this saying, teach what you want to learn 😀 - thank you Richard!!

  • @michelea1010
    @michelea1010 Před rokem +8

    I think you have very valid advise here. The more distance we have from unhealthy relationships the more likely we can see what we simply couldn’t while in the muck. Thank you.
    Piece of advise always…….gratitude…..recognize, appreciate, cherish, even celebrate quietly

  • @Nimue1974
    @Nimue1974 Před rokem +3

    You are right but it's just so much less stressful being single. Sometimes it's lonely but it's peaceful. I like peace. I'm too comfortable on my own now. Sad but true. Nobody fancies me anymore anyway 😂🤷

  • @SheenaRea
    @SheenaRea Před rokem +20

    Richard you're so well qualified to be in a happy, healthy relationship, that I hope this year will bring you such a blessing. Happy New Year and thanks for everything!! 🙂🏵☘🦋🏡🎄🌠

  • @krisrobinson5919
    @krisrobinson5919 Před rokem +7

    Point 4 "dont worry about equal...worry about fair"
    Love this reframe Rich...🌻
    I remember this from the last challenge...🙏
    It's a great reminder for me...👍
    I believe I had & gave out at least 4 of the 6 for 21 years, so I'm safe in saying the last 3 are super important...👍
    Really great tips... Thank you... Yup, you did good!...😊👌

    • @SereneHorror
      @SereneHorror Před rokem +1

      @krisrobinson cool name!☺🙃

    • @krisrobinson5919
      @krisrobinson5919 Před rokem

      @Kasey Robinson Hey Robbo how you doing, sista!...🤗
      Of course, we share the name... we are fast friends now...👊🌻

  • @heathermauzey7760
    @heathermauzey7760 Před rokem +7

    Thank you for your absolute honesty about your own humanity.

  • @solmyr42
    @solmyr42 Před rokem +1

    @22:37 When people deny they are hurt etc. but they don't leave, often they will come around eventually. There's no need to actually leave them then and there. Patience can be a virtue here...

  • @isadellagrana
    @isadellagrana Před rokem +23

    Thank you Richard to give us the best of yourself and of your life experiences. Your work allows us to definitely see and choose the path that leads to the best version of ourselves. Don't be embarrassed when overwhelmed with our praise and gratitude : you simply deserve it. I wish you a very happy new year ! 🌟🌟🙋‍♀️

  • @bthe1doright462
    @bthe1doright462 Před rokem +16

    You are very astute. Conveying both authenticity and clarity. You have been helpful to me - and I am not flattering you. I am an actual empath who also has never been in a healthy creative loving relationship. It been a series of giving my heart and ( offering my liver ) to selfish, wounded, stupid people and having to learn about the lack of healthy relationship the hardest way. And yes we can include latter on in life a brutal dance with a controlling - objectifying - vampire/narcissist w- psychotic episodes. I am currently extricating from the reunion with my twin sister who has never been there for me and invited me to live next door to her - - I moved here to give it a go. It's been hard and not productive and is inching now toward exploding narcissistic abuse as I do not any longer capitulate and take care of everyone - - so this is to be my last chapter I believe in stepping into uneven power dynamics in significant relationships ! And by the way = I also qualify for excellent relationship advice because I see and feel everything. And I have learned very hard lessons - just don't have the heart for relationship myself now.

    • @LilDevs
      @LilDevs Před rokem +6

      One thing I know is that you can’t get healthy in the environment that made you unhealthy or in an environment that continually triggers past traumas. The only thing that is close to helping me find my joy and peace of mind is a trusted experienced psychotherapist to help me work through why I am a scapegoat and why I am attracted to the narcissist. We make our own choices, these relationships are two-way and we need to take responsibility for our own actions and choices.

  • @brittanyholtgreven4106
    @brittanyholtgreven4106 Před rokem +1

    Before I even watch this video there is loads I could say on this topic after finally being in a real, healthy relationship for the past ten years. However, one quote speaks VOLUMES on this topic. "We accept the love we think we deserve."

  • @victoriablackwell97
    @victoriablackwell97 Před rokem +8

    Always a genuine mature lesson being given from a wonderful teacher!

  • @sallyminshew752
    @sallyminshew752 Před rokem +1

    Perfectly said! Thank you

  • @roots3409
    @roots3409 Před rokem +5

    Really amazing points. Good shit! Get em’ written down. JP style!
    . It’ll be a lucky woman that gets to feel the real you.
    I would also say I’m a recovering people pleaser and honestly I’ve secretly diagnosed (labelled) my partner of 10 years (over the span of our relationship) with everything from schizophrenia to autism 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️ (including all the cluster b personalities), until I realised it was all a projection from me! Haha: my unconscious shadow; that thought I was an angel and everyone else was a demon 🤦🏽‍♀️
    What’s so funny is that once I took responsibility of my own energy/aura….all the toxicity/projections/masks/resentment/labels disappeared. And perceptions of the behaviour, And God what a lesson, what a ride: once we move the lens inwards as opposed to outwards…..boundaries appear and the trust/love grows in such authentic ways. You have spoken so much truth that has awoken me over the years of listening to really important shit. I’d love to interview you, if you do that type of thing. I have a small channel and it would be effin awesome to have a chat to share.
    Regardless, goodbye 2022!! Thanks for sharing 🙆🏻‍♀️🙌🏻

  • @adora721lux8
    @adora721lux8 Před rokem +5

    The idea of equality vs fairness seems to be similar to equality vs equity. Equity, IMO, is better because equity considers differences, such as in resources, even emotional ones, ability, and opportunities. Thanks for the excellent video!

  • @keariewashburn4680
    @keariewashburn4680 Před rokem

    I agree with what you are saying. Thank you for putting the words out there to clearly hear it all.

  • @KeenanGlass
    @KeenanGlass Před rokem

    Yeah you did fine. I needed to hear this today, so much appreciation for all you've done.

  • @Gingerscience
    @Gingerscience Před rokem +3

    Nailed it! Thank you

  • @skyinverted
    @skyinverted Před rokem

    Perfect list, Richard. Thank you so very much for this. 🙏

  • @youaresoulessence
    @youaresoulessence Před rokem +2

    "THE" cult of one... Individuality.. Respect of shared inspiration. Appreciation of coregulation and assisting a common cause... Not dismissing intuitive moments of one in the circle that triggers you. Respect peoples intellectual property. Acknowledge their support of your mission and be grateful for
    progressive information shared out of progress alone, not for self perpetuity. And vice versa😉

  • @kitwanatyhimba5247
    @kitwanatyhimba5247 Před rokem

    Wonderful advice ✨ Thank you so sharing 🙏🏾

  • @DMkz111
    @DMkz111 Před rokem

    I love the fact that you are authentic and honest

  • @lillydimartino6834
    @lillydimartino6834 Před rokem +1

    You did GREAT, Richie ❤️

  • @KatieDMellott
    @KatieDMellott Před rokem +1

    This is excellent and well spoken. Thank you!

  • @MDHall2025
    @MDHall2025 Před rokem

    No ego ramping, it was a great video. Thank you.

  • @gemcove5783
    @gemcove5783 Před rokem

    Loved this One Richard! U R one of my Guru’s. 💕

  • @sunnydaye5942
    @sunnydaye5942 Před rokem +5

    Great job Richard. I figured if anyone reminds me of any Narcs in my past that's when I walk away. I am getting much better dodging them, thanks to You. 😃

  • @Paeoniarosa
    @Paeoniarosa Před rokem

    Thank you, especially appreciated the fair rather than equal point.

  • @judyjones6304
    @judyjones6304 Před rokem +1

    Super talk. I thought it was great. Thank you. Happy New Year, Mr. Grannon.

  • @Swansue
    @Swansue Před rokem +3

    We are all learning. Thank you.

  • @julesfleur7415
    @julesfleur7415 Před rokem

    Very appreciated and enjoy immensely the warm humour . Thank you for all you share .

  • @naz0079
    @naz0079 Před rokem +3

    Life has taught me some huge lessons especially when it comes to relationships as I'm seeing a lot of marriages fail in the process, either the partners are not meant for each other, struggling financially, disagreements, lack of resonance etc.
    One of the main lessons I've learnt is that for a healthy and strong relationship requires a solid foundation through a 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 connection first with the principles and key elements of commitment, trustworthiness, communication and being openly honest. But, we need that relationship with ourselves first by becoming more conscious of our unconscious behavior patterns and thoughts from our childhood traumas. The key is balance.
    There will be bumps, there will be challenges, there will be hurdles...all opportunities to grow together.

  • @lisaariottiart
    @lisaariottiart Před rokem

    Fantastic Richard!

  • @chuckr8727
    @chuckr8727 Před rokem +1

    Just what I was thinking of asking? And voila! Here it is.

  • @cosmaracorosu
    @cosmaracorosu Před 7 měsíci

    Amazing talk, thank you!

  • @lilinectar4045
    @lilinectar4045 Před rokem +1

    happy new year richard and everyone!!

  • @arlayaswan8320
    @arlayaswan8320 Před rokem +1

    Thank you for holding this space for exploring path to healing and creating health within ourselves and relationship.

  • @camdogtaek
    @camdogtaek Před rokem

    Lovely that it worked, good stuff 🤘

  • @linda_sue
    @linda_sue Před rokem

    This was very good. Thank you!

  • @carolfrancey3647
    @carolfrancey3647 Před rokem +2

    Kindred spirit you are, Richard! Happy 2023!!

  • @con-can571
    @con-can571 Před rokem

    I love this. What you said about "equal" is bang on. We each have a roll to play and those are different. Happy 2023.

  • @tripplethreat1414
    @tripplethreat1414 Před rokem +3

    Great advices 🔥

  • @thegoodgriefcoach126
    @thegoodgriefcoach126 Před rokem

    Yes. All of it. Yes. Great work RG

  • @jaxotherworld
    @jaxotherworld Před rokem

    Big hugs to you Rich. I hope 2023 brings you peace and authentic emotional connection in your personal life.

  • @dittemller9611
    @dittemller9611 Před rokem +1

    Hi Richard😊 I've followed you since 2014.. I do believe it back then brought me out of a situation that would have killed me, and certainly have caused damage to my kids.. it was in the early narc days, turned out he was not a narc, however had an genetic problem that left him without any emotional emphathy.. the one that followed was more of a classic narc.. but the abuse was substantial in both.. I finally had to acknowledge the role of the codependent, which I was, as any good echo with a massive saviour complex, not inclined to do.. your honest words hit home on this one too.. i feel like I've been on a similar journey through landmines, ups and downs, conspiracies and back, you have been a massive part of my journey, and you've given me insight into myself and others. You also gave me the word hypersexuality which finally allowed me to understand otherwise erratic and frustrating behavioural patterns, and forgive myself.. the past 2 years I finally was ready to do some shadow work, to be honest about what my own motives, which I of course assumed was kindness.. it was hard, but freeing.. it have eye-opening and I feel better equipped than ever to enter a relationship, to live a life, and I really am grateful ❤️ I'm still on a journey through life, but I do feel I've come far, so far that now I only watch your videos out of a deep seeded interest in psychology 😊
    Thank you Richard, for sharing all this😊

  • @artymiss3707
    @artymiss3707 Před rokem

    ❤ Thank you! Very appropriate points to remember.

  • @crystalnorthhealing
    @crystalnorthhealing Před rokem +1

    Just listening to your video again, because it's great stuff that I agree with all the way around. The scapegoat thing. I think the way I interpreted and explained that all these years was that I'm not anyone's emotional punching bag, nor should I be. Nor should any of us be, ever. Well, you've touched on so many great and amazing points in this one, I can barely keep up. Often, over the years, I've thought I should do exactly what you're doing, but then I don't see myself doing it in the way you are. I've been doing it in my own way on another level, and that's ok too. I'm still helping people however much, which I believe is what you're wanting to do, while you're also helping yourself and trying to sort it out, just as I'm doing as well, and it's all good. To each their own, and to us, the lovers of love and truth, we just do what we do, whatever it looks like, to help however many on the level we're on. Best to have many workers on all levels at all times. No, I don't reach near as many as you do, but I reach as many as I do, according to God's will. I'm actually in natural medicine. That's my main gig. This side of things is secondary to that, although I find it very useful for however many clients of mine, not to mention myself too. But still, this subject is very important, in my opinion. We can't deny the relationship side of things and what goes on there. I know that because I've experienced it myself as well. But like everything I do, because I've experienced it, I then realize how important it is and that helps me help others. Just as you've discovered and why you're doing what you're doing now and so passionate about, Richard. And I love that! It totally resonates with me. I will have to say though, that my ex's name was Richard too. No, I don't hold that against you in any way, because why would I? But, thinking about that name reminds me of a day way back when my kids were young and our middle daughter came up to him and said, I know what your name means! She looked and sounded so very confident! And he asked what it meant, and I know what she meant to say. She meant to say Harsh King. But what came out of her was, Selfish Rat! And I was just like, OMG!!! She hit the nail on the head with that one!!! Bahahahaha!!! Yeah, I died laughing! And so did she. LOL But the thing was, he was a total grandiose narcissist. So, yeah, she did hit the nail on the head. Not making fun of you and your name and such. This over here is and was a totally different story in that regard. But yeah, hearing that come out of her, I was just feeling all like, Out of the mouths of babes! I'm sure you can appreciate that, as I'm sure many others can too. But yeah, the scapegoat. I think I'm rather done with being that for anyone, as I hope you are too and everyone else out there. Why and how did any of us ever decide to sign up for that anyway?

  • @Dayle2012
    @Dayle2012 Před rokem

    Agree with all points. Been thru too much in my life to not expect less. Fair is always the goal. Be yourself, love yourself hopefully you find the same in someone else. Change is inevitable in anything. Have boundaries. Happy New Year Richard! Thank you from SW Florida. 💗

  • @ukaszchmielewski1872
    @ukaszchmielewski1872 Před rokem

    keep on going, Richard

  • @Grace.AlwaysGrace.
    @Grace.AlwaysGrace. Před rokem +1

    Another well produced and grounding post. Well done. I would one day love to see you in a healthy, loving and growing relationship. Well done. Well done.

  • @betsyc6055
    @betsyc6055 Před rokem

    Equitable is what I thought when you started on that part of the conversation. I think you are so accurate here and it’s because people haven’t examined the consequences of their attachment styles

  • @l.c838
    @l.c838 Před rokem +2

    No one owns each other, we are all individuals.

  • @4Beats4Me
    @4Beats4Me Před rokem

    So righton. So weet. So easy to take. Please keep us on your radar.

  • @storefromjapan
    @storefromjapan Před rokem

    I greatly valued this. Thank you.

  • @melissasue3328
    @melissasue3328 Před rokem +6

    Very refreshing to hear such a raw, honest and vulnerable answer to this person's question. Great starting points to work with.

  • @sabrinarodriguez42
    @sabrinarodriguez42 Před rokem +5

    🙌🙌🙌Thank you for taking the time to express and discuss on this topic.

  • @eecneihappy
    @eecneihappy Před rokem +2

    One of your best! Love the advice on good relationship and detachment as forgiveness or letting go. Being "on trial for life" makes it hard to let go but detachment I can do.

  • @Linda-ki5xh
    @Linda-ki5xh Před rokem

    This is probably the most vital question for those who have been bruised. We need to get it sorted to open the door to a great relationship... please keep questing this topic

  • @bethankrzowski4553
    @bethankrzowski4553 Před rokem +1

    "Whatever you're gaining in a lie, you're gonna lose so much more"...yes great truth there.

  • @mdel4541
    @mdel4541 Před rokem

    You always make me smile. I do a mini-analysis of myself during your videos. I have a deep appreciation of your sense of humor, wisdom and honesty. 😊🤗

  • @I-Care7
    @I-Care7 Před rokem

    I love your videos, Grannon. This video is the best Birthday gift that I have received so far today. ❤

  • @donnalange8767
    @donnalange8767 Před 5 měsíci +2

    I believe its how negative feedback is given. Alot is in the context of ahaming or blaming, or accusation.

  • @hellefreude5086
    @hellefreude5086 Před rokem +3

    Absolutely! That was great and relatable advice! I was nodding my head basically all the way through! Thankyou 💛 for this!

  • @meridians_
    @meridians_ Před rokem

    love your humility, Richard.

  • @Verismaya
    @Verismaya Před rokem +3

    This video changed EVERYTHING in one sec! Thank you!🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @crystalnorthhealing
    @crystalnorthhealing Před rokem +1

    I'm about 34 mins. into and just want to agree with what was being said there about in spite of stepping up and doing all that's required for a healthy relationship to happen, the other person just not, that's a tough one. I can totally relate to that. Which always led me to say it takes two to make it and just one to break it, with that idea in mind. Thanks for sharing all that you do. Couldn't agree more!

  • @mercedesgomes1226
    @mercedesgomes1226 Před rokem

    You are like a wise friend I really listen to and that I've learnt so much from when I most needed it. Thank you for the valuable insight and advice these last few years. Happy New Year, Richard!

  • @pixinotdust4925
    @pixinotdust4925 Před rokem +1

    🎯🎯🎯
    Thank you very much "Sensei". 🧚🏾‍♀
    That´s a really great "Christams present" and an excellent compass for 2023!🙏🏾

  • @lindsayobrien7950
    @lindsayobrien7950 Před rokem

    I love the analogy of being the gardener of your relationships ❤️ this is so true

  • @ladyk2002
    @ladyk2002 Před rokem

    Yes.. the best teacher is human relationships. This is how we grow.. and stretch to our beautiful loving selves. ❤ ... I think trust in ourselves, showing up for the relationship we want and being honest with ourselves when it isn't working.

  • @farmerjones5233
    @farmerjones5233 Před rokem +1

    Brilliant and insightful. I enjoyed watching the replay of the live stream. I particularly loved the into. You also mentioned a 7th rule. I think it was “abandon sincere communication with the terminally insincere”. Brilliant!
    Happy new year. Wishing you health happiness and peace be upon you! 👍 edit: and Thank you!

  • @drhendrickson2880
    @drhendrickson2880 Před rokem +1

    Richard, good information. I needed to hear about “what’s fair healthy relationship”. A few topics resonated deeply. It’s hard at times, really tough.
    Thanks Again

  • @brucelyons5698
    @brucelyons5698 Před rokem

    I need this on loop .

  • @marybarton5651
    @marybarton5651 Před rokem

    Thank you...great information.

  • @Audrey-cn2uw
    @Audrey-cn2uw Před rokem +2

    OMG.. I've been married for 25 years. Left the marriage several times. Finally left last June. I am a retired RN. Always thought my husband would "Come around." You have opened my eyes to what my past 25 years actually was. I was a complete Narc Supplier. I willingly gave my narcissist everything, even my relationship with my children. You saved my life. Divorcing is NOT easy. He says everything we own is his. After realizing what a dynamic i was involved in, I can never go back. THANKS 😊.

  • @Mikelk71
    @Mikelk71 Před rokem +2

    Thank you for the wisdom that comes from knowing what you don’t want from having so many or not having any healthy relationships. I can truly relate. I’ve been doing work on my friendships and trying to translate that into my intimate relationships. For me, there should be no difference with how i behave and how they behave and we interact, but with the wounds I have I have major issues with intimate relationships.