5 EVIL Manipulation Tactics The Narcissist uses

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  • čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
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    Timestamps:
    00:00 | Intro
    00:09 | 1. Love
    03:39 | 2. Plunged into the matrix
    07:44 | 3. Gaslighting
    11:22 | 4. Reversal
    13:33 | 5. Shaming & Guilting
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    The Narcissist Gaslights
    The Narcissist uses Love as a weapon
    The Narcissist does EVERYTHING in their power to do One thing.
    Manipulate YOU
    However, Knowledge is POWER
    This video will equip YOU with valuable knowledge to recognize these tactics, empowering you to navigate relationships with narcissistic individuals more effectively.
    Saving your sanity and time
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    #narcissist #emotionalabuse #narcissism
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Komentáře • 285

  • @rileyhoffman6629
    @rileyhoffman6629 Před 9 měsíci +141

    Don't forget about withholding love as manipulative.

    • @siyaindagulag.
      @siyaindagulag. Před 9 měsíci +6

      I don't reckon that it's Love , then.

    • @victoriaolson8985
      @victoriaolson8985 Před 9 měsíci +16

      yes, that’s what he means by leveraging love.

    • @gigantopithecushominoidea8779
      @gigantopithecushominoidea8779 Před 9 měsíci +1

      Humility is the cure, to understand there are things outside ourselves we don't understand. Like sending donations to Ramas. That worked just fine.

    • @danielborrowdale3903
      @danielborrowdale3903 Před 9 měsíci +14

      Normal people love people and use objects a narcissistic loves objects and uses people.

    • @katydid594
      @katydid594 Před 9 měsíci +2

      Especially in a parent/child relationship.

  • @obscurum6
    @obscurum6 Před 23 dny +5

    Them guilting you into feeling responsibility for them as a parent, as they take on a child role, thus making yiu feel like you are abandoning a child, and not the adult they really are, is so insightful.

  • @zx81qw
    @zx81qw Před 10 měsíci +56

    "If you don't prioritise your life, someone else will."
    - Anon

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 9 měsíci +2

      Welcome to corporate control

    • @williamtiffee3799
      @williamtiffee3799 Před 2 měsíci +1

      "You either ride life, or it rides you... Your mental attitude determines who is ‘rider...’ and who, is a ‘horse.’ ”You either control your mind... Or it, controls you!" "Without A doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings, is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence, of other people..." And: "As a man thinketh, so is he..." : Napoleon Hill quotes.

  • @brightstar4321
    @brightstar4321 Před 9 měsíci +189

    1. Confusion: Gaslighting, Word Salad, Alternating Hero & Villain Dynamic
    2. Control: Love Bombing, Breadcrumbing, Intermittent Reinforcement, Discarding
    3. Deception: Lying, Denial
    4. Blame Shifting: Projection, Deflection
    5. Avoidance: Silent Treatment, Rage, Refusing Accountability

    • @flemutter7211
      @flemutter7211 Před 9 měsíci +12

      Why interact with this kind of human.

    • @helenabaxt215
      @helenabaxt215 Před 9 měsíci +3

      Maya Angelou wrote when a person show you......

    • @hurricaneaquatics
      @hurricaneaquatics Před 9 měsíci +27

      ​@@flemutter7211it's often not a conscious act. We meet romantic partners that are narcissist and neither person knows it. So you don't go in to the relationship knowing you're with a mentally ill person.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@robertruge2916 answer: the system was created by the 1st Narc Hassatan (in Eden) 🌴 Dan. 2 : 44

    • @robbiegailh.2076
      @robbiegailh.2076 Před 8 měsíci

      @@flemutter7211 Exactly, but that is easy to say in hindsight. Because they scam you in...it's a psychological trick they pull, to get you in so they can mine you, drain you, drink your milkshake.

  • @7w7-2
    @7w7-2 Před 7 měsíci +113

    It’s kind of contradictory to say that a narcissist ex admitted that to gaslighting. One of the behavior patterns of a narcissist is that they won’t admit fault on their own, and that they use gaslighting to convince you that they were never at fault. I can tell you what behavior of my narcissist ex led me to believe that I was being gaslighted though. Gaslighting is a real insidious way of manipulation- to make you believe that there is something wrong with you, that the actions/words of your narcissist weren’t really what they seemed to be. It makes you question your judgement, leading to you ignoring your instincts and senses. I swallowed all of her gaslighting for years, mostly because I wanted the relationship to work- like most people who have been the partner of a narcissist. I started realizing that something was wrong 6 months before I was discarded. It was actually this revelation that I had that led to the discard- once I started seeing through the illusion that she presented, I started to see all of her actions for what they really were, and I started to question her on everything and stood my ground on issues that I previously gave in on. We had gotten into a really bad argument. Tensions between us had been building for a few months. We had to move from our rental and find a new place to live within 2 months, in a town that was going through a surge in prices for rental properties. It was difficult finding a place to live that was within our budget, and still live in the town that had come to be our community. Between that and all of the normal logistics in moving cause a lot of minor arguments and stress between us- more than what was normal with her narcissistic and selfish behavior. We found a place, moved in and was in the process of bringing the final things over from the old place to the new place and cleaning the old place when we had gotten into an argument about something minor. All of the pent up tensions and resentment came out. During the argument, she was dismissive to me and told me that everything was my fault and if I didn’t like it then I could pack my shit and leave. I was so frustrated that I knocked her external computer monitor down (so she would face me and not continue to argue with her back turned to me). She got up and in my face and told me that I probably wanted to hit her. I said that I didn’t, I just wanted to discuss the issues. She said that if I wasn’t man enough to hit her she would give herself a black eye and call the police on me. I turned and left the room, because I knew the argument was escalating to a place that I didn’t;t want it to go. As I turned to leave the room, she jumped on me and started punching me. I told her if she was going to hit me, I would call the police. She started punching me again, so I left the room, went to the master bathroom and called the police. They came, interviewed both of us and arrested her for spousal battery. Afterwards she only blamed me for the incident and never, never acknowledged that she hit me. A week or so later, she asked me to write a letter to the DA requesting that the charges be dropped. I said that I would write a letter but that she would have to acknowledge her actions and to apologize to me first. She said that she was sorry that I felt that way. I told her that I wouldn’t write anything to the DA, and she stormed off, giving me the silent treatment for a couple of days. I knew what happened, and have a very clear recollection of the events. I’ve been punched before with closed fists, and I know what it feels like- and it doesn’t feel like a “shove”, what she insisted was what she did (her story was that she shoved me only after I shoved her, which was nonsense). I got a copy of the police report, and one of several reasons that they arrested her is because they found her knuckles red and swollen. I tried to move through this, but she kept trying to change the narrative of what happened when I was very clear on what happened. I felt crazy, but knew that I wasn’t. This led me to question everything else that she told me. Once I started realizing that most things she told me (when it came to disagreements or things that I had an issue with) were lies, and I believed the illusion that she created to trick me. That’s what the narcissist does- they present an illusion to you. Just like looking at an optical illusion, once you see that it is a trick of the eyes, you can’t look at it again without seeing the trick. Once I started seeing through her illusions, the house of cards that she built started to fall down and I slowly started to realize the type of person that she was, even though I didn’t want to believe it. I started enforcing my boundaries and that drove her crazy and caused more fights and gaslighting, which is what I believe led to her finally discarding me 6 months after her arrest. She never admitted to gaslighting me though. Even after confronting her with things from years previous that I realized she changed to make me the one at fault, she stays with her story. Even with indisputable proof, she stays with her version of events and says everyone else is wrong. Don’t expect any type of satisfaction or closure from a narcissist, because you won’t get any. You have to believe your judgment and instinct, and not tie your self-worth and self-esteem to anything that they say to you. Additionally, If you ever suspect your partner is cheating on you give it a try and remotely access their phone. I had to follow my instincts and get in touch with this private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com who gave me unrestricted access my partner device.

  • @robbiegailh.2076
    @robbiegailh.2076 Před 9 měsíci +7

    Robotic repetition of the words, "I love you."😂😂😂😂😂

  • @brandonmcalpin9228
    @brandonmcalpin9228 Před 6 měsíci +5

    If you’re seeing your partner regressing into a little child, that’s more likely to be BPD. They do this often. The ONLY time you’ll see that scared little child in NPD, is when they’re absolutely devastated, mortified, and on the verge collapse. Even then, you may not witness it. I recall this happening to me maybe once or twice and it was horrible.

  • @flemutter7211
    @flemutter7211 Před 9 měsíci +37

    This man is a national treasure and most be protected at all costs!

    • @JamFlava1
      @JamFlava1 Před 9 měsíci

      Okay sheep.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 9 měsíci

      Hes like Hugh Laurie with an American accent... 😃

  • @susanstatesheale
    @susanstatesheale Před 9 měsíci +9

    I’m 15 months post narc (he discarded me in the most horrifying way imaginable) and I’m just starting to feel free of his insanity. Reality tastes so sweet. It’s been a decade since I’ve had it.

  • @dclarke1896
    @dclarke1896 Před 9 měsíci +15

    This is one of the most accurate illustrations of what it's like being in a relationship with a narcissist! Watch, take notes, and apply this information because I know I am! Be safe everyone! 🙏

  • @missdjerotica
    @missdjerotica Před 9 měsíci +5

    I did have guilt and shame because he said if I divorced him he would have to die.
    Then after he was gone I felt badly that he would become homeless without me and be one of the crack hoers on the street. Wow, thank you Richard. Thank you. You are helping so I don’t feel crazy.

  • @justwatching1985
    @justwatching1985 Před 9 měsíci +22

    The Love Bombing in the workplace works with fake promises and future faking. Have experienced it on my own body how my vision or my love for my future development was used to manipulate me. Fortunately, I found the red pill twice and beamed myself out of the matrix. It’s hard to spot but thanks to content like yours my consciousness is on high alert when entering new situations. Keep it up ❤️

  • @reverentalexanderchezeley-6367
    @reverentalexanderchezeley-6367 Před 9 měsíci +5

    Arye, no NPD could handle whatsoever curling up in a ball on the floor wailing, crying and grieving, over the breakup of a romantic relationship, or death of a loved one, or pet etc.
    They cannot handle the pain of the finer and positive emotions of compassion, empathy, sympathy and love.
    As we all know love is the most powerful, joyful and glorious of feelings. Yet, when love breaks down through what i mentioned above, as we all know, love then becomes the most extremely painful emotion known to man.
    Only "the strong' can deal with that and go through that horrific emotional pain.
    NPD's can't do that, their not strong enough to deal with that emotional pain, it would finish them off.
    So be proud that you can experience those painful, but neccesary finer, positive emotions of love, that are connected to reality and not fantasy.
    Thanks our kid, great video.

  • @Tiggy123
    @Tiggy123 Před 9 měsíci +11

    Karpman triangle has definitely got to feature in this.
    Used so often by the Narcissist.

    • @pqt112
      @pqt112 Před 4 měsíci

      In creative ways as well

  • @wattsurfrigginproblem
    @wattsurfrigginproblem Před 9 měsíci +5

    David Byrne said " I believe, one day, we will live in a world without love".

  • @alariaesculenta8177
    @alariaesculenta8177 Před 4 měsíci +6

    A current example of Reversal is 🇨🇦 PM Trudeau, filmed & preserved on TV insulting ppl who preferred to make their own decisions regarding a certain medical procedure, calling them terrorists, misogynists, and all sorts of evil. And then when confronted with his hate speech (which ironically he's trying to ban with a ridiculous law, if one can call it a 'law'...), he pretended he did not say what he was caught saying. So ppl played back the recordings. Response: "Well, you misunderstood me..... poor me..... etc.." still insisting that was not what he said. In the face of the evidence, they keep lying because admitting a wrong is too shameful. And yes I'm one of the insulted Canadians, so I can bring it up.

  • @pmf026
    @pmf026 Před 9 měsíci +51

    I'm at stage 5.... 3 years no contact now. It's exactly like Richard describes... feels like leaving a broken/wounded child 😞

    • @nessauk2786
      @nessauk2786 Před 9 měsíci +8

      Like abandoning a child exactly as it feels.

    • @nessauk2786
      @nessauk2786 Před 9 měsíci +5

      That's how it feels

    • @illyay1337
      @illyay1337 Před 9 měsíci +1

      It’s crazy how accurate that is. I didn’t really know the true definition of trauma bond before but always felt like that’s what my love was.

    • @colinpowell9454
      @colinpowell9454 Před 9 měsíci +6

      And if it's not them you feel like you're abandoning, it's your actual children because you'd rather it be you that gets the mood swings and NOT the kids so you become a buffer and suffer MORE guilt 😢

    • @nessauk2786
      @nessauk2786 Před 9 měsíci

      @@colinpowell9454 self abandonment the mirrage

  • @nicholashudson1283
    @nicholashudson1283 Před 9 měsíci +5

    16:26 Gotta love the spontaneous comedy at the end of the video 🤣

  • @brightstar4321
    @brightstar4321 Před 10 měsíci +17

    1. Religion (to start wars and form cults)
    2. Religion (to extract people’s money and exploit their kindness for resources)
    3. Religion (to control and manipulate perceptions and to commit acts of atrocity against children)
    4. Religion (to proliferate misogyny)
    5. Religion (to prevent half the population from having sovereignty over their own bodies, controlling what they wear and what they do)

    • @ForestTiefling
      @ForestTiefling Před 9 měsíci +3

      i do not need "religion" to do/commit all these, just being an authoritarian, sadistic control freak is sufficient. Religion is just a handy excuse for all this, not the cause. ...As exemplified by "mystics" often being oppressed and persecuted by fanatics of their own religion, while as mystics of different religions fairly often getting along with each other... But well, sometimes "logic" and the justifications from own bad experiences don't go well together. I know from myself! (recovering cultist here)... Btw: Some of the most die-hard "nice guy incels" I got to know are proud atheists... So "religion" is not a requirement for misogyny neither!

    • @brightstar4321
      @brightstar4321 Před 9 měsíci +3

      @@ForestTiefling I agree with your point on misogyny. It can proliferate in spaces outside of religion too. It’s just that it seems to have found a cozy advocate and home in religion. I don’t think religion would exist without narcissism, and I don’t think misogyny exists without narcissism.

    • @kevinjohnson7418
      @kevinjohnson7418 Před 3 měsíci

      So the other half of the narcissists ( females ) are practicing misogyny ? Don’t drink the kool aid

    • @CHitis2400
      @CHitis2400 Před 7 dny

      No religion IS the reason ppl are all messed up mentally. This why you see no society in the west, whereas you can observe it eastwards. And this is the reason people run from the US - no religion, just toxic individualism and competition.

  • @SuperSausage777
    @SuperSausage777 Před 9 měsíci +15

    My last relationship 3 year ago was a long distance relationship with a lady who turned out to be a covert narcissist who was very sociopathic towards me, when i caught her cheating on a dating app she said to me YOU DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU SEE ME ON A DATING APP, as if it's my fault she got caught cheating, more like she meant to say I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU CATCH ME CHEATING ON A DATING APP more like...

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 9 měsíci

      facts : LD is not a relationship. It's a situationship. It's mere fantasy. 😑

  • @RainbowBright33
    @RainbowBright33 Před 9 měsíci +17

    “Handjobs under the bridge for small change and crack” was a bit specific Richard 🤣

    • @thedavongurkenbeet
      @thedavongurkenbeet Před 9 měsíci +2

      😆😅❤🙌 love it, plus his facial expressions 💝🤟

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 Před 9 měsíci +1

      I said to Richard through my phone that I wasn't expecting that. Lol. It's appropriate for this subject though. 😳

    • @RainbowBright33
      @RainbowBright33 Před 9 měsíci +1

      @@cyndigooch1162 the level of detail was Extra 🤣

  • @kulanifernandez3668
    @kulanifernandez3668 Před 6 měsíci +4

    Oh. And thank you to your other contributors who commented because I learned from their comments as well.
    Mahalo!

    • @catherine87
      @catherine87 Před 3 měsíci

      We know you did. Question is will you use that "learning" commentary attitude findings as a two edged sword?

  • @sofiaisabella3317
    @sofiaisabella3317 Před 9 měsíci +30

    What a Good video. They should teach this everywhere. I’m I feel at the end of my journey, but man have I paid the price for not wanting to be abused. It’s insane it’s at this level in our society but I’m Very grateful for the internet, being isolated and all, this was my portal for understanding what is happening and that I’m not alone. Thank you

    • @sofiaisabella3317
      @sofiaisabella3317 Před 9 měsíci +2

      Being raised in a family cult by my parents where I was the sort of Jesus figure, and wanted to work in medical science (also not an easy environment). So I had to break my family, health, cult, work gaslighting and leverages. I see now that that is not easy. I kept saying I feel so guilty, and seeing my parents fall into an abyss when I would leave. I also feel shame for losing myself, eventhough it started when I was 2. But everything was/is my fault, that’s no secret they tell everyone and me included. But still miss me and feel bad and my father now wants a relationship because he’s sick because of this situation and is dying. My sisters won’t talk to me. I’ve never done a thing. I even asked them what did I do, and they say now, you did nothing. Before I was ungrateful etc. I left 9 years ago, been trying no contact since 8 years, and I almost turn 40. I picked up a lot of my life in the last 2.5 years but I feel sad for the person at 29 as I was, knowing what I wanted and thought I need to get out, I lost a whole life of what I envisioned.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 Před 9 měsíci

      He's a brilliant survivor & wonderful for sharing His insights!

  • @motorclubofamerica8999
    @motorclubofamerica8999 Před 9 měsíci +4

    After 17 years of being with my woman im just now catching on to this. I could never put my finger on it but i now see that she's a narcissistic.

  • @kanothe187
    @kanothe187 Před 9 měsíci +4

    The Director of the bar I work at acted offended of me accusing her of Gaslighting. She literally used to get me to go down to the cellar and turn the gas valves on and off to "test" the previous GM. Literally the most textbook example like it was even the plot of film.

  • @davidsundberg2861
    @davidsundberg2861 Před 9 měsíci +2

    In one of his books, Gabor Maté wrote: "If you are faced with the choice of feeling guilt or remorse, choose guilt every time.".
    The feeling of guilt is therefore something I have to learn to accept as just a feeling.
    My reaction to that feeling of guilt should be carefully considered, to avoid possible traps. 13:43

  • @dolladollabillz
    @dolladollabillz Před 7 měsíci +2

    They will say something to you then tell you they didn't. Pure evil.

    • @PostAnywayyy
      @PostAnywayyy Před 6 měsíci +1

      What a coinkidink! Your user name is almost identical to my narc! 🤔

  • @Normalizethis
    @Normalizethis Před 9 měsíci +7

    “We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”, Les Grossman.

  • @SuperSausage777
    @SuperSausage777 Před 9 měsíci +10

    She would also ghost me for a couple of months then come back and the first thing she would say to me is HOW'S YOUR MENTAL HEALTH..instead of a straight forward hello...very strange...

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 Před 9 měsíci +5

      That certainly is a strange thing to say and it seemed like she was wanting to hear that her behaviour caused issues rather than caring about your state of mind! 🙁

  • @firsttbone
    @firsttbone Před 9 měsíci +7

    You just described my 12 year relationship with my former fiance!!

  • @intothemystic3374
    @intothemystic3374 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Asking "is the person using (your) love (for something) to gain leverage against you" is a pattern I think I need to be alert to involving a work situation. Thank you for explaining it.

  • @MrAbsalomdavid
    @MrAbsalomdavid Před 4 měsíci +3

    I think the only word I would add, just to be helpful and point out one specific scenario,
    is the word, "pity."
    This is in the dynamic of dealing with a covert/fragile narcissist.
    Pity and victimhood is their biggest "supply line."

    • @franco2b145
      @franco2b145 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Absolutely. Take note of how they’re always the victim in the sap stories they tell.
      All that is missing is the background violin playing..

  • @JD-xd4sy
    @JD-xd4sy Před 8 měsíci +4

    I don't know if it's a sign that I've recovered and matured, but the last narcissist I left behind was someone who was almost "clumsy" in his manipulations. Kind of like he started shaming and guilting me before he even established "the dream" properly to fall back in.
    A psychological defense I've had most of my life, that probably hurt more than helped, is that many people seem to perceive me as more naive than I truly am - but in this particular case it was probably helpful because the narcissist obviously misjudged how "hooked" I really was: not at all.
    Otherwise, "playing dumb" is probably what got me into these dynamics in the first place, in stead of just asking manipulators to kindly go to hell.

  • @JC-mv7hf
    @JC-mv7hf Před 4 měsíci +2

    Shame and guilt are very different… i can deal with and face guilt but shame is different. I recommend standing up and facing the feelings expose them and control how others perceive us not letting the narcissist control how others see us… i do by making myself look even worse

  • @remyragnarson7891
    @remyragnarson7891 Před 9 měsíci +9

    so true, guilting and shaming is powerful, just now learning to not fall for it after years of not seeing it

  • @targoltran
    @targoltran Před 9 měsíci +5

    I love Richard's accent. He has a beautiful personality and voice. The content regarding NPD is also very authentic, and not offensive. Blessings to Richard from America.

  • @Keepswimming....123
    @Keepswimming....123 Před 6 měsíci +2

    OMG!!! I do have fear that they will end up homeless!!! And that they won't survive without me.

  • @taraarrington2285
    @taraarrington2285 Před 4 měsíci +2

    I think they also are afraid you will outgrow them or find someone who treats you better.

  • @frankielyman8769
    @frankielyman8769 Před 9 měsíci +5

    Well done. I just started to understand the horrible effects of being grown up Jin a narcissist home. Always knew something was wrong . Healing is life long like learning.
    Chin up!

  • @user-zb5io8rg8w
    @user-zb5io8rg8w Před 9 měsíci +6

    Yes, the last couple years I was married to him. I knew he was pulling away and was looking elsewhere for supply but now that I’ve been divorced from him for three years, I still miss him and I remind myself constantly of how miserable I was the last few years we were together and yet I still miss him it is so aggravating.

  • @25johis
    @25johis Před 9 měsíci +1

    A little by little after four years healing, alone, trening and understanding still have pain, but less.
    I discovered that I'm not introvert.
    This pleasure to be me is new. Scary, but optmistic. Even in this shi** world 😊

  • @behindDoorsOfHomes
    @behindDoorsOfHomes Před 9 měsíci +7

    I took years to escape, all of these 5 and more. She also outsourced the abuse. It was made so much more difficult as we have a daughter, which she used all of her strategies to gain absolute control of my daughter, the behaviours so out of control that she no longer bothered to hide her abuse of my daughter and was witnessed by the parents of my daughter best friend. They described it as horrifying. Next on the agenda was to isolate my daughter, cut her off from everyone. Total ownership, ensure that nothing could enter her reality. , remove all risk. Truly horrifying

    • @leonab545
      @leonab545 Před 9 měsíci

      Truly is horrifying. It’s awful watching a child going through that, not being able to just block them from having that sick parent.

    • @behindDoorsOfHomes
      @behindDoorsOfHomes Před 9 měsíci

      @leonab545 unfortunately my daughter was cut off from me also. Now 1.5 years . There is no way for her to feel she has a choice, her only reality is the delusional world of her mother.

  • @PostAnywayyy
    @PostAnywayyy Před 6 měsíci +2

    My narc has hijacked my algorithm so every ad I get is personally insulting. All of my Recommend For Yous are insulting. All across the Internet, I am constantly told I’m Old Fat Ugly and Worthless. I’ve absorbed this. This will go on forever. I don’t want to go on.

  • @saymans13
    @saymans13 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Guilt, shame, and fear.

  • @sage9836
    @sage9836 Před 9 měsíci +7

    Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way has good perspective on the gatekeepers in the art world. (This book is for everyone.) Lucky I read this because when people tried to exploit my love for my art, I was onto it, and managed to get associated with positive situations instead.

  • @arunajovinbenitha3793
    @arunajovinbenitha3793 Před 9 měsíci +26

    Looking forward so much to it. I remember a video you made 3 years ago and you came up with a superior strategy of being calm cool and creating a space between the observed facts and our response and to abandon all sincere communication with the terminally insincere. Looking forward to more depth, more ways to efficiently handle them . Especially in situations when it's a family member like brother in law or mother in law who you see once in a while still they put you down so much that it gets on your nerves. Effing frustrated. Can't go no contact. Tried grey rock . Didn't work. Help us Richard.

  • @lordzords5671
    @lordzords5671 Před 9 měsíci +3

    If a narc knows you Love your job, they will try to abuse you to love them, and then discard you when you are miserable from the trauma bond.

  • @sarangnaini2774
    @sarangnaini2774 Před 10 dny

    Now I can only remember myself as crying my lungs out all the time. The most important thing is he never used to use any abusive words, because he knew I would never tolerate that. Guilt-tripping was the most common manipulative technique he used to break all of my boundaries. I was young, one of the mistakes I did was I confused attention for love. It was over attention, unhealthy, he wanted to be the top most priority and would react in the most toxic way possible if he felt like he couldn't control me/my life/I was not keeping him at the top.

  • @symbolsandsystems
    @symbolsandsystems Před 9 měsíci +3

    to love is to witness beauty

  • @AXA747
    @AXA747 Před 9 měsíci +6

    I relate it to being addicted to a drug (not that I ever have ) but I think it’s similar to that feeling of needing a fix

    • @tamelashafer8852
      @tamelashafer8852 Před 5 měsíci

      Yes
      You can end up with an addiction and wonder what the f&$&@ has actually been happening to you and how did you end up allowing this insidious hall of mirrors 🪞 to become your life… covert craziness marriage has been a catalyst for deep journeys of research and extensive education…
      Loving Thyself & knowing Thyself is imperative…
      Authenticity & Autonomy are your super powers

  • @Funfearlessfemale120
    @Funfearlessfemale120 Před 9 měsíci +5

    Amazing video, wow! So well said and understandable. Thank you 🙏🏻
    No contact since 7/2/23
    😄

    • @guyallison7209
      @guyallison7209 Před 9 měsíci

      I am 22.02.23 also. Wishing you the best keep moving forward.

  • @Stapleton-
    @Stapleton- Před 9 měsíci +2

    I feel like you had a camera in the room with me during my 10 year marriage. Everything so scarily accurate, especially the last bit. She told me she would die if I left her. Well, I left. Hasn't died.

  • @jewlej
    @jewlej Před 7 měsíci +1

    I love your videos. It is so true how we have this motherly instinct. I watched my ex be homeless but they do so many evil things that it’s not worth the torture to even try to help them. It’s 2023 so I’ve dealt with mine since 1998. They are vampires. My parents were narcissists too, and my sister. I didn’t think real empathy and humans with souls existed.

  • @Charliemike01
    @Charliemike01 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Watching til the end is bonus 😂

  • @AS-iu8hr
    @AS-iu8hr Před 5 měsíci +1

    Brilliant video as usual! Just a little two cents I wanted to throw in, gaslighting can also involve changing things in the target's environment, like moving objects around so they question their sanity when they remember it being there. ...Applied to conversation, it can look like a random peppering of inconsistent statements. Amazing how such a simple tactic can wreak so much havoc on someone's mind, but it does!

  • @alethea6781
    @alethea6781 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Past focus/shared fantasy is interesting. I guess that’s why my intuition kept giving me fantasies of Tim Burton’s movies, humorous, but with dead characters. Death=stagnation. I knew somehow the fantasies would become darker and become a whole horror story. I didn’t exactly understand why yet, but I knew I needed to get out of the relationship. My intuition was presenting the delusional nature of the shared fantasy.
    Thank you 🙏

  • @gemmadubbydubz7786
    @gemmadubbydubz7786 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Oh you do always manage to make laugh out loud at somepoint. I always go into these videos feeling very serious.

  • @user-jr6qt2ho8y
    @user-jr6qt2ho8y Před 9 měsíci +1

    Target, that word will forever be cemented in my mind.

  • @gentianhill
    @gentianhill Před 9 měsíci +1

    I would love to enter the course, at the moment I am sharing a house with narcissistic people, so I think it will not work for me now as I am experiencing abuse 24/7 . Yes they are dead people, why? My housemates are closing doors very laud, they start closing the doors quiet when I close the doors same way as they do. So it goes the smash the door then I don't, then when I don't they do and the circle goes on and on, this is only one example of abuse.
    I have no opportunity to move out at the moment.
    And yes shaming and quilting is next.
    And yes when you try to confront them they act like children,... I wouldn't do that is their response not responsibility!
    Thank you Richard ❤❤❤

  • @thegreatalyssa
    @thegreatalyssa Před 9 měsíci +1

    One of the narcissists I knew lives wherever he can. It could be in tents, under bridges, in a family member's car, etc. He is drug-addicted and does have sex with men and women for drugs, money, etc. He was in a drug-induced coma 10 or so years ago after getting jumped in the streets by five guys and suffering a head injury that I think has given him some sort of TBI. I can pull up his arrest record and it includes arrests for breaking into parked cars for money, etc. He is really messed up and was once very handsome but not anymore in his 40s. He was intelligent with a family that included doctors. I learned a lot from him.

  • @violetalight-ourrealm3518
    @violetalight-ourrealm3518 Před 7 měsíci +1

    Mannnnnn THANK YOU Narcissistic Possesion something I have seen and been in. Good luck to those who are in it hope they make it out alive

  • @amandabrowne9675
    @amandabrowne9675 Před 6 měsíci +1

    "Giving hand jobs for small change.. and crack" 😅 Favourite line. Thankyou for bringing to light a lot of ways I've adopted mothering instincts. Your content is both highly informative and entertaining.

  • @palerider9167
    @palerider9167 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I have watched videos on CZcams and read articles in Internet in zillion numbers. You beat them all - they never gave me the point of view, the understanding and grasping your video gave me. Especially that thing with love and love bombing and hooking and loosing ourselves during these key stages. Never came across such a mindblowing explanation like yours. Amazing!

  • @mysticjen379
    @mysticjen379 Před 15 dny

    That last bit about the bridge - they’re probably already doing that for kicks/as a hobby, they’ll just be forced to make it their full time profession 🤣

  • @frankielyman8769
    @frankielyman8769 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Thank you Richard. I'm a practitioner in healthcare and observe the destructive methods of psychotropic drugs along with this very nefarious world. Using your knowledge with the videos has healed my mind, the natural way. It took a while however I can attest to you and your information regarding validation.

  • @dianehenke2539
    @dianehenke2539 Před 9 měsíci +3

    Wow! You nailed it! 🥳🥳🥳 Shame and guilt for submission. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @Arrtists
    @Arrtists Před 9 měsíci +2

    Your videos have helped me. I watch them every day. I am also seeing a therapist. This is all so new right new to me and I have no idea what to do

  • @LisaSmith-yb2uz
    @LisaSmith-yb2uz Před 9 měsíci +5

    I love these analogies 🙂 they really make things much more comprehensible
    😉👌

  • @kjsfl386
    @kjsfl386 Před 9 měsíci +3

    F A N T A S T I C!! Thank you, Richard

  • @av2155
    @av2155 Před 9 měsíci +3

    I need out of this dream . I'm just having a hard time distinguishing who is doing this to me. And yes I feel like I have been in a coma😢

  • @wordivore
    @wordivore Před 9 měsíci +3

    I saw a short the other day, that was supposed to be showing what gaslighting is. I think it was posted and acted out by a mental health professional no less.
    It went like this:
    Woman in kitchen and husband walks in from his work day. Man and woman hug and exchange "How was your day?"
    Then the man asks, "What's for dinner?"
    Woman: I don't know honey, I forgot to make something.
    Man: Well that's no surprise.
    Woman: Oh really, why do you say that?
    Man: Because you're useless.
    Woman: Because I'm useless huh?
    Man: Yeah.
    Woman: Huh.
    Every single comment was saying how it's not gaslighting and one comment was chastising her for being a mental health professional and not knowing what gaslighting is.

  • @TruthandJustice-hz9nv
    @TruthandJustice-hz9nv Před měsícem

    This is tremendous Richard, Thank you so much for this, Keep exposing these manipulation tactics, Keep educating a Nation, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All Glory to the most high :-)

  • @mosaicowlstudios
    @mosaicowlstudios Před 3 měsíci

    They are crouched atop the Dragon with a welding iron, feverishly welding those Golden Scales into place

  • @stephenbaldwin7165
    @stephenbaldwin7165 Před 9 měsíci +4

    Exceptional. So sad I am where I am but nail, head, hammer. Thank you for creating and sharing these fantastic insights and framework into their minds.

  • @denisaadamcova3591
    @denisaadamcova3591 Před 9 měsíci +5

    Great explaining of the structure of this narcisistic abuse. Thank you.❤

  • @DivineOne-lt3wf
    @DivineOne-lt3wf Před 5 měsíci

    Very eye opening and insightful. As I’ve been meditating and becoming more and more aware I’ve begun to distinguish his pull on my head. His invasion of my mind. I’m recognizing it more and more. Today I was so upset with him I was ready to never talk to him again. When I sat down to take a break I was hit with this feeling it was almost forceful and it said essentially you will get over you will take me back. The scary part was how I almost just let it take over. But I was like what the hell is this?!

  • @lighthouse1136
    @lighthouse1136 Před 9 měsíci +2

    You're wonderful Richard 👌✨

  • @marieclaudelatour8542
    @marieclaudelatour8542 Před 7 měsíci +1

    very powerful teaching. Sumple concise and easy to remember.
    Thank you.

  • @lisachesmore8442
    @lisachesmore8442 Před 9 měsíci +1

    I have seen that also. Agreed. Horrifying experience. Thank you for putting words to that.

  • @heartwisdomlove
    @heartwisdomlove Před 7 dny

    Great video!
    I love the image of the master with the whip and the stick and I also love the awareness that getting stuck in the past is like being dead
    excellent teachings!
    thank you thank you

  • @KarynCain
    @KarynCain Před 9 měsíci +1

    Omg! 😂that voice @richardgranmon when you said this is like a video for the narcissist! Lol

  • @violetalight-ourrealm3518
    @violetalight-ourrealm3518 Před 7 měsíci +1

    OMG this video is the BOMB I see what ur alluding to in 10mins. Genius 👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • @infinitepeace3223
    @infinitepeace3223 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Thank you.. I do feel it was like being stuck in the past & that the present and future has a very different feel..
    Everything was always made my fault, it feels beautiful to no longer have that in my life
    Appreciation for you & sharing your knowledge 🙏

  • @zannaadedigba3936
    @zannaadedigba3936 Před 9 měsíci +3

    I am in so much pain I will just cry in tbe niddle if the night my husband was so mean to my schitzophrenic sister who died in my home .. he was so horrible wen I said I would not pitch in for bills u til we put our money together he took out a pension to buy a Tesla … he’s from another country , i petitioned him here , and wen my sister died I got a restraining order and would not let him back … I still don’t believe what I’ve been through

  • @almor2445
    @almor2445 Před 10 dny

    3 years ago she said we couldn't have sex of any kind ever due to her health. It made no sense but I respected her boundaries. For 3 years I didn't pressure her and was 100% loyal. Just found out she's engaged and saw other men in that time. Feeling so used and humiliated. But she's still claiming to have done nothing wrong. I'm speechless. She's swinging now between begging for me to marry her, threatening to have me arrested, showing up at my house yelling for half an hour and sending cute pics amd messages of the good times. She lost all emotional regulation and strategy.

  • @snezanavasilevska3586
    @snezanavasilevska3586 Před 9 měsíci +2

    I apriciate your videos.

  • @L.Fontein7
    @L.Fontein7 Před 9 měsíci +2

    IMHO, the gaslighting film starring Ingrid Bergman is the good one.

  • @svetlanav1107
    @svetlanav1107 Před 9 měsíci +2

    This is so true!

  • @pupper5580
    @pupper5580 Před 9 měsíci +5

    Love bombing. Remember the word "bombing" when someone is doing it to you. It's really bad, and it's just a way to make you lower your defenses so they can start abusing you.
    I feel like when someone is love bombing you, it's better to... kind of freeze the relationship - like don't let it escalate - calm yourself down into a neutral state from the infatuated state - try to slow things down so you can figure out is this thing going to go from "love bombing" to "abuse".
    Perhaps you could test the person somehow, to see if they're an abusive person or a good person - perhaps just say no to them on something, like say "no" 2 times (meaning 2 separate occasions) to them when they ask you out on a date - if they start acting all crazy, then it might be a bad sign - if they act cool, then perhaps say "yes" the 3rd time they ask you out or ask the person out yourself after the 2nd time you say no.

    • @personne3837
      @personne3837 Před 9 měsíci

      It's exactly how I'm doing things now, I used to agree with everything, always playing the good girl (narcissists loved me) now I'm just setting my boundaries waiting for their reaction.
      Last time was 2 months ago. I met a man while having a walk, he was so excited, talking about the futur (he didn't even know my first name) and many days after, he called to see me, I said no (my guts felt something wrong) and when i said no, he couldn't care less and kept asking the same question (maybe 10 times in a row.) When he understood i wouldn't change my mind even if he pressured me, he said ok and bye. He tried again 2 weeks later later, expecting me to say yes, but i was turned off by his attitude. Sent him a message saying I don't thing we are a fit.
      Time is precious, I've wasted to many good years with the wrong ones.

    • @clintonnagy1662
      @clintonnagy1662 Před 2 měsíci

      My first date with my ex....she asked me what time to see her and I said 5pm. She got upset and said " forget it. I DONT want to go". I offered 3pm and she declined and wanted to cancel all together. She told me I was selfish for pushing the date so late and wanted to see me within the hour. Then why ask what time???? So frustrating !! That's was the first major red flag. That killed my mood to see her, but we had a nice time. The relationship lasted 18 months but played out the same way everytime we went out. Plan a date, & cancel, pulled back in, and go out. The perfect imbalance for narc 🍲 soup.

  • @naturalist369
    @naturalist369 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Well described & explained ! Thank you so much for this & the course. I've always loved a challenge ... until the mask of the narcissist came off 😵‍💫
    I broke two trauma bonds from family & moved 3 hours north to go from very little, to no contact, to rebuild myself & my life FOR ME ! It is necessary to make the SHIFT to SELF COMPASSIONATE CARE ❤️🎶🙏🏼😇🌠🕊️💫

  • @user-vx5lb4iw2q
    @user-vx5lb4iw2q Před 9 měsíci +1

    Thank you

  • @triciagarea9576
    @triciagarea9576 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Very well said.

  • @lillyrose2514
    @lillyrose2514 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Thank you 🌷

  • @irenebienek3864
    @irenebienek3864 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Thank you for sharing this information!

  • @almor2445
    @almor2445 Před 10 dny

    Dude that last point hit me hard. I have this fantasy that my ex will lose her new man, her fraudulent benefits, her family and all her support then her health. Then she will come running to me as the only person who was always truly loyal to her.
    The sad part is that if she did this I would probably be there for her. My need to play the hero and be the good guy of the story even if she has acted like a demon is powerful stuff.
    I hope she pulls her mind together and makes it work with the new guy so she won't have time to get revenge on me. She will be gagging for new supply having lost me and most of her family within a year.

  • @aaaalltheway9805
    @aaaalltheway9805 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Brilliant thank you ❤

  • @annamillerart
    @annamillerart Před 9 měsíci +3

    You are hilarious Richard. Love your vids!!

  • @amandaherbert9664
    @amandaherbert9664 Před 9 měsíci +2

    Brilliant video ❤

  • @jackskyeluke
    @jackskyeluke Před 9 měsíci +2

    Wow this was a great summary, thanks Richard

  • @edycrowley2878
    @edycrowley2878 Před 9 měsíci +5

    This was very well done. Thank you so much!