r/AmITheA--hole My Parents STOLE My Inheritance
Vložit
- čas přidán 9. 07. 2024
- 2nd channel: / @dabneybailey121
Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:06 My family buys a house with my money
3:42 My SIL overcharged me so I do the same
6:34 My husband keeps insulting my appearance so I left
9:26 Diabetic needs to eat and he encounters a controlling family
12:44 Wear want you feel comfortable in to my wedding
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Story one: OP definitely needs to sue his mum and stepdad. They used his money to pay for a house then say its not his house. For that amount of money, OP can definitely get a lawyer and sue. His stepdad is toxic
Edit: Thanks for the 1.4k likes didn't expect it
I have a parent who's exactly like the OP1's, and I highly suspect she (my mom) is the reason behind my own sister's behaviors too (no proof of course, but thats why its a guess, not a claim in full). These animals will NEVER listen, they NEVER learn, they NEVER grew up. In fact, I see my mother as the same sort of bratty teenager that she implied she was when she was in some rebel phase in her younger years, because despite EVERYTHING ELSE, she cannot under ANY circumstances accept the fact that she's a human being, an equal to the rest of us, and has to play fairy tale games about how she's "perfect" and "is never wrong", so trust me, as frustrating as it is, this delusion is one I empathize with dealing with from crappy delusional parents and other authority figures.
Why is that generation of 40-somethings so entitled anyway???
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 So, you talk down on a whole generation based on the actions of your mother? Look who is the entitled one.
Sue!!!
I think a lawyer or legal advisor that saw the story on Reddit approached op to help them
Worst part is it sounds like they waited till just before he turned 18 to do this because A) They wouldn't have access to that money after and B) so he doesn't benefit from the house at all... It's almost perfectly planned and if the mom hadn't felt so guilty for it they wouldn't have found out till they turned 18... What a load of crap...
Pregnant OP SHOULD get therapy because the therapist will spell out to her how bad her husband is and validate that nobody should treat their spouse how he treats her.
Exactly; she should get therapy to validate her getting rid of her joke of a husband!
lol i thought "yeah, hes right, ABSOLUTLY go get therapy", what an idiot
I thought that couple therapy be good 2
Hope this helps with mindset for anyone who sees this (it's a bit not picky, I'm aware.. just a therapy note) it's always better to replace "should" with the word "could" as 'Should' brings underlying shame/guilt. "I could go to therapy and be validated" it helps manage expectations/outcomes. Hope this helps anyone who sees this
My ex constantly told me during our relationship that I use to be attractive but then I got old and ugly. He constantly said this crap to me and claimed it was a joke. His dad called me fat (I am 25 lbs overweight from retaining fluids from kidney problems from cancer.) My ex was 120 lbs overweight and I always told him I was still attracted to him. His dad is 100 lbs overweight. They constantly ragged on me. He even mocked me about getting cancer. This is a abusive relationship it’s not a joke or funny never accept less than your worth.
Third story: that's not a joke, it's ABUSE, not to mention the gaslighting that followed. Totally divorce material.
Halfway through what she had written in that post I'd already decided that that is a hill I'd be willing to die on if it were me.
I'd say give him a taste of his own medicine, say you hope the baby is nothing like him and if the husband overreacts tell him to go to therapy or work on getting over his issues, fight fire with fire I say
The rule is simple, women choose the men, she got what she asked for. Do you really think better men didn't try to take her? But no, they are too boring, too predictable. So all is on her. I know that because I am a boring man that would rather stay at home with a book, or do my own thing, guess what, I was too boring, too immature for a relationship, and too creepy for hookups because I just mind my own business. The missery of other women paying for their choices of men is music to men like me that are constantly insulted, shamed, and called all the names in the book just for trying to get a girlfriend, they always go for the looks, or the dude that makes all the noise. Now I am in my last year of college expecting in the next 5 years to be the target of all the women that would have never gave me time of day before that degree, just to use me, and than to divorce me and take half of everything that I will have or earn.
@@Spanu96Holy crap, we found a nice guy.
@@Spanu96 we got ourselves a nice guy in the wild!
Story 3: sounds like the husband is trying to break down OP's self image and self esteem and then make her feel like she's wrong for being upset. Tactics used by controlling abusers. 🚩🚩🚩
she definitely dropped these red flags. let me give them to her and allow her to dump her husband's insecure butt
Ikr, they just want a reaction from us so that they can have a reason to get made at us.
I heard abuser wheres my sword!?
Absolutely 100% gaslighting-ass bullshit my g-d PLEASE I hope OP divorces his ass
I work as a DFV Specialist in Australia and could not agree with you more. Huge red flags. Research shows that DFV tends to start or escalate during pregnancy which fits with what we’re seeing in that story.
I saw a lot of tactics in this one (I outlined a few general areas in another post). Crossing my fingers she gets the support she needs to leave. Or he pulls his head in (unlikely but honestly he’s the problem which needs addressing).
Last story: I almost started crying because I love how supportive OP is being. That kid definitely appreciates that and will remember OP when they feel like they can’t turn to their parents
yes, I hate it when people, espacially parents, try to dictate how other should dress.
as long as it appropriate for the occasion it doesn't matter if she wears a dress or pants.
idk if the niece is just uncomfortable in skirts or if she doesn't like feminine clothe in general but there are lots of beautiful options
Agreed I love how this women doesn’t care much about what they wear and just want people to be comfortable and is not taking this mother and grandmothers crap
I'm a trans guy.
There's zero pictures of me past toddler stage I have kept because if there wasa big event I was asked to wear a dress.
Even if it hadn't made me feel like shit, there's no way I want to have a picture from decades ago out me to people who don't know I'm trans
@@chesh1rek1tten came here to say exactly this! the amount of events i went to in a dress that i didn’t want to wear or events that i just didnt want to go to and ended uo skipping because it was “you wear a dress or dont go”?
im so grateful there are people out there defending their younger family members’ right to wear what theyre most comfortable in
egg/pre-transition me (i'm a transgender man; raised as a girl, turned out to be a dude anyways) really needed something like that in their life. even if the kid isn't trans it's still really nice to not be pushed into something you're uncomfy with
That story about the baby shower definitely needed a higher score on the partner. The partner knowingly gathered people there to humiliate the OP and then got upset when his victim left.
That was arguably abuse. He continuously insults and belittles her, then gaslights her about it.
@@robert-janthuis9927 I was just about to say, the gaslighting gives the guy a 4 score, easily.
I mean, I doubt he invited them to bully her, he absolutely is an ahole, but I'd give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't throw a party to bully her.
He did throw a party of a size that's uncomfortable to op(without telling op), insulted her in front of probably everyone she cares about and then gaslit her.
If they can't take an offenive joke it's not their fault, it's the jokesters fault. ESPECIALLY during pregnancy.
Who said he invited every single person maybe they brought people along with them it's not uncommon for people to invite other people to go with them to a party and yes she does need to learn how to take a joke.
That may have not been the party’s intention, but the Joke all along has been to put down the wife. There was no funny side to the subject matter. No offense to your point or nothing. That toast that he gave was tasteless and the more abusive part was when he demanded that she come back after she left in tears
Fourth story: "It's really inconvenient for us for you to eat so you don't go into a coma or die, because our son will have a tantrum."
I have T1D and that's exactly what the parents had said.
I’ve got type 1 and I would of said the same thing as op but meaner.
@@ashleybohannon550 same. After 12 years (I'm 30), I just don't have time for people's nonsense anymore
I understand fully that the parents can not be controlling the environment because of their Child, and should instead control the Child for the Environment...
...The thing is, OP doesn't say to them that they have Diabetes from what I see, they just continuously kept saying to "fuck off" or "I don't care". Perhaps it's the diabetes that caused them to behave such a Way.
I think if they told them in the beginning they have Diabetes, perhaps the Parents would be more Lenient.
@@baligong3592 They did say they have diabetes, after the woman decided to explain her child's condition.
@@AzureKyle
According to Transcript, They said that they have Diabetes and they were snacking, then the parents had dirty looks on them. They didn't say it to them, they said it to Us, and when the Parents started to control them, that's when they started Yelling/Responding "go fly private".
I am understanding of both parties condition, but in no way did OP state they have Diabetes, instead, they resorted to telling them to "stfu" and "fly private".
I'm certain that explaining to them why they need to eat could perhaps lessen the reactions from both parties.
Both Parties are at fault. Imagine telling someone "STFU" 3x before telling them why they're so Angry, instead of being more civil by stating it from the Beginning.
If I were to rate, then I'd say 1/5 for OP, and 3/5 for Parents.
First OP needs to sue...I'm glad the stepsdad's family can see how f*cking awful it is to steal thousands of dollars of inheritance from a child!
How on earth did the mother do this to her ownkid.
Yeap. Lawyer up like last week.
It happens too much, It does Ive met many people with parents who are financially abusive tword Their kids
It's at least tens of thousands if not hundreds!!!!
@@sarquemtashzid8027 3 bedroom. Easily in the hundreds of thousands in some areas.
Money. That is why.
We need updates when the kid takes his parents to court and wins.
we need updates on the first 3 stories
I second this
The last story: OP is going to immediately become Niece’s favourite aunt-in-law as she drifts away from her bio parents
Definitely! I hope they become close, because this kiddo surely needs someone like her in her life.
the sad reality?
the niece is going to be told to not talk to OP ever again and will be threatened to be kicked out at some point if they don't bend to the ideals of her guardians. the niece will struggle with identity crisis and will probably not get help for it for a long time and will struggle with mental illness for the next few years or longer without help
Honestly I'm willing to bet she's trans and in the closet
Third story: definitely NTA. OP removed herself from an awful situation that made her uncomfortable. I suffer from anxiety myself, and I’m not good with people. If I was in OP’s place, I wouldn’t have left like she did. I would’ve made a huge fit and called him every name in relation to vain and selfish in the book, then take some dessert (some, not all) and left his gaping ass for people to laugh at HIM.
I'm really suprised rSlash only gave 3/5. To me, it was an easy 5/5. That dickhead was being cruel and a bully, and will of course use the "it's just a joke, get over it" card. I sincerely hope, there's a divorce in OPs future...
I really wish OP had the foresight/gumption to march back in and tell the in-laws "he's been saying that to me every single day, and I am (explicatives of choice) fed up with it.
I would stomp his "joke" and retorted "I wish my daughter would be happy, healthy, and not as toxic as YOU.", and makes everyone laugh at him. If he asks "Why did you doooo that?!", Call him a damn hypocrite.
Divorce Speedrun
@@lacko623 6/5 definitely. Emotional abuse, gaslighting, theirs no part of this story that doesn't make me want to tell Op take the baby and run.
With the first story, I feel the most bad for OP's dad. He put his trust in his former wife and OP's mom to give what he had left behind to their child to ensure they had a good life. Instead, she went behind their backs to get what she wanted, used most of the money, and left their own child out to dry. She's a terrible person on so many levels and OP needs to throw her out of his life.
Also, real quick with the fourth story? That family was definitely TA because they *knew* about their son's disorders but decided not to pay to be seated by themselves and tried to deny a *diabetic* sugar because they didn't want their child to throw a tantrum. That's something that should be put into r/entitledparents
Yeah, it's so disgusting that the mom agreed to rob her son so she and new hubby could by a large home. I mean, if they had talked to the son and asked to use a small about of money to put down on a more modetst home, he might have actually agreed and been happy to do it. STEALING his money to buy a big house you don't need and can't afford is just disgusting! I hope OP gets a lawyer. The mother definitely breached her fiduciary responsbility to safeguard her son's inheritance.
Actually I disagree with you, to the fourth story I think both parents and op are butt holes. Op deserves 1/5 and the parents 3/5, op is right, you can not control other people because your son has a special condition, they should have took a private fly and op shouldn't act like that by swearing so bad at them
@@Lucky-Nick123 I disagree with you. OP has every right to swear. OP is NOT the ahole. She didn't do anything wrong.
@@Lucky-Nick123 , do you swear oaths, let alone take them, in courtrooms, in joining clubs, or taking some sort of governmental position? If the answer to any, and/or all, of those things, is a resounding yes, then you and your modern day Pharisee hypocrite ilk honestly have no business talking about swearing when you do not even properly interpret the Holy Scriptures on the matter.
@@paxhumana2015 maybe you are right
Second story: NTA. What goes around comes around, and let’s be real: OP’s deal sounds a LOT sweeter than her SIL’s.
Yeah, it’s 200$ cheaper, and there’s 3 less people
It sounds like the sil wasn't even paying the tax when op was living there, so she charged exorbitant cash and still didn't pay. Op is doing sil a favor, maybe this will help her manage her money better
Second time I've heard that story, and it's just as infuriating as the first time.
Literal karma.
@@blazing51 and she had tons of money while OP was paying her a ridiculous amount of rent....
What I don't understand is why they couldn't take that 1000$ a month and rent an normal apartment
Story 1: Inheritance seems to be an entitlement magnet. Someone gets money, relatives crawl out of the woodwork to take that money.
OMG, my sister in law is dealing with this now. Aunt died and her neice by marriage suddenly claims there's no will. She left the aunt's body at the funeral home for 30 DAYS because she refused to pay for burial or cremation services. The aunt was an elderly widow with no children. Her only heir would be her brother assuming the will isnt' found. But this neice wants to appoint some random relative of hers - no relation to the aunt - as executor of the estate. If that happens I'm sure all of her assets will just disappear!
Omg I'm raging about the last one. How dare anyone tell their daughter what to wear. Y'know they could be a closeted NB/ transmasc person and that's why they feel uncomfortable with the idea of wearing a dress. Or just a girl who doesn't like femme clothing, also valid. As a trans man, I would cry if somebody tried to do that to me when I was in the closet. I couldn't even attend my school prom because I wasn't in a place where I could buy/ wear a suit. The Aunt is 100% in the right here and I'm so glad she's standing up for her niece on this.
I was thinking this too! That would make the mom and grandma even more of the AH if this was the case. Also cute aside but anyone else caught on how OP called them "my niece". Hopefully she will become someone the niece can count on and confide in the future
as a trans girl who is still pretty far in the closet irl the second i heard about the kids parents trying to force them to wear a dress im like actually so mad about it. if it was my kid they would be allowed to wear anything they want so long as they are comfortable
100% this. Before I was out as a trans guy my sister was wedding planning and saw I was strongly against wearing a dress, and she accommodated that for me. The wedding never happened and I’m now out and medically transitioning, but I still am so thankful for how my sister handled it.
finally, someone who's being a good aunt (except for one i've kind of been reading about unsupportive aunts)
Parents acting like their children are an extension of them- they are people not property,
Yep!! One of the reasons why me and my bf just broke up, cuz his mom thought he owed her his life and everything in it. Not dealing w that
First story: I just lovee that there's a community of people that are willing to go to war to protect this minor from his money grubbing mom and step-dad. I like that there's legal advice going around, that there are adults in the world willing to give guidance, support and reassurance without - ironically - charging any money. Hoping for the best.
Story 5: It's OP's wedding, not that parent's. If OP wants the bridesmaids to wear what they want, that's final. Sure it'll cause an argument from some people, but at least the niece will be happy
Yeah, that family gets 4/5 bhs from me. OP gets -1 bh.
First story : NTA. OP should call the police or an attorney because what they did was 100% illegal.
Second story : NTA. She got a taste of her own medicine that's all.
Third story : NTA. RED FLAGS ! The husband is purposefully pressing on OP's insecurities to manipulate her and she need to get out of this relationship like yesterday.
Fourth story : NTA. While OP could have handled things differently, he's in the right. There are times where you just have to suck it just because someone has a worse condition than yours.
Fifth story : NTA. Your wedding your rules. Plus OP is being nice to the niece something that, according to this story, her own family doesn't do.
Not sure I would call even Type 1 Diabetes worse than Prader-Willi. People with Prader-Willi will literally eat themselves to death. Basically, their stomachs will burst because they just keep eating and eating and eating. The condition is such that the person *always* feels hungry, but *never* feels full. And unfortunately, they can't regulate the amount of food they eat, so it always falls on someone else to dole out reasonable portions.
That said, I do still agree that OP was in the right. Those parents need to teach their kid about his condition and parent him correctly so temper tantrums aren't gonna happen just because a random stranger happens to eat in front of him.
"Fourth story" plus he/she could be already on a meal plan for his/her diabetes and has to eat certain amount of food on certain time frame especially if he/she was taking medication for the diabetes....
fourth story deservers some butthole points because op was WAY to aggressive despite the parents being calm themselves
@@goku-sangreen4510 no because of OP's blood sugar fluctuate to spike or drop due to the diabetes can cause anxiety and anger plus he already hold off at the beginning with his snacks but when the flight meal was given OP needed to eat since he can feel his sugar dropping low and that can cause a diabetic shock if it got to low and that bitch is not really helping by being controlling which she does not have the right....
Is it just me, or a lot of these stories always involves terrible parents or husbands?
A lot people complain about parents spending their own money as if they're entitled to their parents money but that first story was NOT a case of an entitled kid.
In fact, "entitlement" is originally a legal term, usually referring to an amount of money one is legally owed, or "entitled" to. This kid is literally legally entitled to that money
@@amandasunshine2 , have you ever considered naming a daughter of yours Lara by chance?
@@paxhumana2015 lmao I'm staunchly childfree, and this is actually a pseudonym as I don't want anyone having my real name, sorry :)
*First OP:* The absolute audacity of OP's mom and stepdad! They stole OP's inheritance to buy their house. Then Stepdad pulls the "My house, my rules" on OP; all because OP didn't make eggs for the rest of the household. THEN Stepdad has the nerve to get angry at OP when he pointed out that it's HIS house, sense Stepdad and OP's mom bought it using the money _they stole from OP_ ! OP is NTA, and his mom and stepdad can go hug themselves passionately.
*Second OP:* Oh, how the turntables. If OP's family can pay $1k and food stamps to stay in a closet, then her SIL can pay $800 and her own groceries for one full bedroom. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* Nevermind who OP's baby will look like; let's hope she doesn't inherit her dad's personality. OP is NTA and may need to consider getting a divorce. Slight disagreement with rSlash: if OP's husband is emotionally abu5ive to OP (which he is), then he deserves nothing less than 5/5 BHs.
*Fourth OP:* First of all, LOL at OP's handle. Second, I feel bad for the kid's condition, but OP shouldn't risk their health for the sake of Mr. & Mrs. Karen's son. OP is NTA.
*Fifth OP:* That's a really kind gesture from OP. It really shouldn't matter what anyone wears as long as it's not offending anyone. I'm not the biggest fan of colored nail polish on guys (or women, honestly), but I wouldn't chastise them for doing so. If wearing colored nail polish helps men express themselves, then great. And if OP's niece feels more comfortable dressing in an androgynous way, then that's fine, too! OP is NTA, and her niece now has an ally in OP.
For the first story, not even the rest of the households. Guests! His family in fact.
*Third Story:* OP isn’t allowed to “disrespect” people by leaving yet her husbands allowed to disrespect her every chance he gets? NAH.
NTA* NAH means no one in the situation is an asshole
Honestly, I was on his side at first. I mean I get it, if I had a kid, I don't want them to look like a smaller clone of the person I lewded furiously over and over again, no matter the gender. I want them to look like a mixture of us, or a mixture of our families. Them being tiny clones would just be weird.
Then he turned in to an uncaring douche and tried to double down which was just a jerk move.
@@wheresjsn i think he meant that with emphasis
@@wheresjsn I think they just meant it as 'nah, fuck that'
When people say stupid stuff like, “you can’t avoid all triggers/allergens/trauma so why bother trying,” it pisses me off. But the flip side is, your disability/trauma/trigger/dietary need NEVER superseded someone else’s. Compromise is REQUIRED for us all to be respected. It’s really so simple, and that “disability mom” with the hungry son clearly doesn’t get it.
I completely understand this. I have to deal with a bunch of allergies, so there should very much at least be an attempt as long as it doesn’t interfere with others. However, in this particular case, I feel like OP was slightly justified for wanting to eat since he had Type 1 diabetes which meant if he didn’t eat on time, he could have passed out or other stuff. But, it is understandable that the parents wanted to minimize an outbursts as much as possible. I feel in cases where the consequences of one thing would be “worse” (such as death, passing out, etc.) than another (In this case: Hypoglycemia vs. an outburst), it’s alright to to what you need to avoid it. For the other party, they should also try their best to protect themselves (I guess in this case, possibly covering the kids eyes before they see the food?)
I don’t know much about Prader-Willi syndrome other than a person feels constantly hungry and have some physical issues such as weakened muscles, but I’m running under the assumption that the parents didn’t want him to see the food since it’s like a child seeing something they want, but can’t have like candy
My best friend’s grandson has Prader Willi and she is obsessed with making sure there are as few as possible triggers around. She works at the school her grandson will be attending next year and she is sure that she going to convince all of his classmates and teachers to never have snacks or food parties in class. I have my doubts.
@@mysterybuff2374 wow that person sounds insane.
Me: **Calls Satan** "Hello?"
Satan: "What is it you desire?"
Me: "There's these two parents, and you should take them to hell."
Satan: "Huh? I can't just take them without a good reas-"
Me: "They used their son's inheritance to buy a house for themselves and has the gall to get mad at their son."
Satan: *"Done."*
Lmao
And Satan needs to take that POS husband in the 3rd story too!
Pffffffft. Ok ok good one. Although I can be sure some religious Karen is gonna hate this
I've never understood why Satan, (even though I don't believe in such nonsense) would punish the souls of people who were shitty humans. That would mean that he was a good guy and disapproved of their behaviour. Surely he would high five them and spoil them for eternity. No?
@@this_is_a_tiny_town, You know what? You're right. I guess I've never really thought of it like that before. Wow! Thanks for that! 😁👍
You stole your child's inheritance to buy a house. There'll be some instances where that's excusable but unfortunately for OP's parents those instances are so rare that they're considered non-existent.
You committed theft and embezzlement. Took money that wasn't yours to use and spent it On personal interprise.
The only way that would be ok is if once OP turned 18, they moved out and took everything that is theirs, and left. But because they selfishly bought the house for themselves, not only are they going to lose it when OP wins the battle, but they're going to likely owe him a lot of money back as well. The mother will also likely lose control of overseeing his inheritance and on a more personal level, is likely going to be shamed by everyone she does and does not know when word gets out (and believe me, it WILL get out).
10:40: As a genetic counselor, I would have immediately clapped back, "Why should I become hypoglycemic because y'all couldn't get your chromosome 15 to act right? Be an Angelman and leave me in peace."
If one person gets any of this, I will feel happy.
Love this haha
I love that sometimes, RSlash will go off on unsupportive spouses for being douchebags, but then gives the guy who literally made fun of his own PREGORNT WIFE, essentially calling her ugly, ONLY 3.5 buttholes. Dude deserves at least 4.5, at minimum.
I think because he leaves the 4-5 range for super serious stuff generally,
10 out of 5
@@KazzleTheDazzle I'd argue that emotional abuse warrants that.
Pregornt lmao
Yeah, that could easily have been a 4 or higher. I suspect the husband is actually insecure and that's why he's constantly putting his wife down. From the family's reaction, hubby probably learned it from them. My mother would NOT have allowed one of my brothers to do that to his wife in her presence. Of course, she also raised them to respect the women in their life so I can't imagine one of them being this toxic/stupid!
Last story - NTA, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but OP, be a bridezilla. This is one time where you need to stand your ground and be a bridezilla!
1st: story the OP needs to go to a lawyer ASAP. ive seen loads of similar stories where the guardians/other parent take a kids inheritance and the courts DONT like that.
2nd story: karma
3rd: get a recording (or preferably several) of him being such and A hole and be prepared to leave him and go for child support. i fear things would only get worse as time goes on.
4th: if their kid is such a problem then maybe being packed into a plane isnt for them. you have T1D and that could lead to a serious medical issue vs a kid throwing a tantrum.
5th: its your wedding and they dont get to call the shots, YOU do. if they force her to wear a dress you can always play the "ruining your wedding" card because she looks so uncomfortable and you dont want to have bad wedding photos...
The pregnancy story: NTA. He sure didn’t think you were ugly when the baby was being conceived.
I remember listening to this story on a different channel and couldn’t help but wonder if the dude is secretly terrified he’ll end up sexually attracted to his daughter if she looks anything like his wife and is trying to jinx the opposite to be true. It wouldn’t excuse his actions in the slightest, of course, but it’s just the thought that popped into my head.
Third story: Have a party with OP's family, stand up and say "I' so surprised I could get pregnant with how small my husband's penis is" Then laugh and if he gets angry tell him to keep his insecurities in check.
The last story: I love the concept of a stylist pantsuit. Sometimes I even thought a pant suit looked like a skirt till I saw how it moved. It’s OP’s wedding. Wish more brides were open to this idea.
part of me wonders if the "niece" in the last one might be trans or nonbinary but closeted because i can only imagine that if the parents are that pushy about "dressing like a girl" they might not feel comfortable coming out. i dunno it's just a theory, but i had similar situations while i was closeted
Same here (ima Trans man). Like of course they could just be a girl who's uncomfortable with femme clothing. But I also got a bit of a dysphoria vibes from this. If I was put in that situation I'd cry and do everything in my power not to go. I'm glad the Aunt is on their side in this, I hope they can maintain a good relationship so the kid knows someone accepting to turn to.
well, at that age, and being "closeted" usually means someone has been grooming them to be trans or binary. If they were medically trans or binary, the family would have known that from birth. That being said, girls wearing boy-like clothes is not something that a girl should be harassed about. Boy cloths are mostly universal, except for pants, for obvious reasons.
@@DVankeuren i dont think you know what it means to be trans
@@weirdkraken The guy's subscribed to one America news (oan), a "news" outlet that's even further right-wing than fox news. It's no surprise that he bought into the transphobic lies that conservatives are spooning into their audience's brains, he's a member of it.
Just to be absolutely clear, kids as young as 4 have realized that they're trans without any prompting from people around them.
@@weirdkraken yeah I'm gonna second this. I'm nonbinary and I struggled a lot in my teen years understanding my identity. No one can tell you what you feel like. I don't understand the whole 'grooming' comment. Absolutely uncalled for. Typically it's more the parent enforcing gender stereotypes fitting to that child's birth sex. Like how my mother wouldnt let me get a short haircut until I proved a similar style on a female.
First story: sue them to the ground, get the money back, then erase them from your life, OP.
That family on that plane needs to mind their damn business. OP is just trying to deal with her condition. They may not have known about her condition, but that doesn't excuse them being so uptight about it. Plus, how do they feel justified telling a stranger that they can't eat or drink? Who does that?
Honestly I feel like the biggest AH isn't the family,it's the friend that defends the family.
The parents on the plane with the child with PWS were honestly a bit stupid in my opinion. If they don’t want a tantrum, feed him differently in order for him to feel more full. Work with the child on trying to control their emotions. Distract the child with something. As incredibly rare as PWS is, I have it and have ways to go against it. Sounds like those parents don’t know anything except control their surroundings.
Last story: as a Nonbinary person, this almost makes me feel physically ill. The niece is her own person. She can dress however she likes. A piece of fabric doesn't make her any more or less feminine
I thought we stopped living in the 20s... And I was a tomboy growing up but now I'm just a woman who just wears what ever looks nice.
Ikr ? Enby person here !
That niece needs to dress whatever she wants, OP is a really good person.. Her mother and grandmother are so unfair and gross.. If the niece want to look Androgynous, she can ! She's still young, but already want she wants, and that's awesome ! OP PLEEASE! support your STB niece, don't listen to her mother and grandmother, show her that she's a human like everyone else and need to be herself.. to be happy with herself.. without being told by others what to do about her choice/life/style/etc
Non-binary person here as well! That story made me feel icky haha, I’m so happy that OP stood up for the niece, and I hope that the family doesn’t pressure her into changing her mind.
FR as a kid who doesn't like dresses (im a demigirl sometimes they make me feel uncomfortable ^^) i would be so angry/uncomfortable in that situation
Trans guy here and oooghhh that makes me so uncomfy cause I was in similar situations, hated when I was forced to wear a dress or anything like that
Ofc they don’t know that yet- still in closet after 6 years :’))
Hooray for anxiety!
You know what else is an AH? Being so entitled that you think that your child's tantrums supercedes Type 1 Diabetes.
Exactly
Lol Dracula would cry tears of joy looking at this comment. Not a troll or anything, just thought I'd brighten up someone's day.
@@colbylawson5331 yeah
With the diabetic story, it's not ops fault it's the parents fault for not being actually parents and controlling their child. I think op fainting is way worse than a child having a fit because he can't eat when someone else does. And the friend, did they not even hear what op said?
I would immediately stop talking to that "friend" ..
@@thetruth1816 I would too. Maybe their "friend" is an entitled parent themselves or one in training
You can wear whatever the heck you want at a wedding if that's what the Bride and Groom want. I once saw a full on Adams Family wedding, where everyone was wearing costumes and I think one of the kids was dressed as cousin It.
That plane story Could have been resolved in 3 ways
1: Ask the Flight attendant if there was any other seats to move to and tell them the situation
2: ask the kid if he wanted anything (would have ended up the Parents wanted something)
3: the option OP chose and told them off for their controlling behavior
I’m sitting here still puzzled about that story. The boy is NINE. He’s definitely old enough to understand logic such as “you can’t have this person’s food, it doesn’t belong to you”. They are just allowing tantrums?? As someone who grew up in a Mexican household it just doesn’t compute lol my mom would have put a stop to that with the quickness.
Your option 2 literally does not work with someone with Prader-Willi, because they will always say yes. People with that condition will literally eat themselves to death because they always feel hungry and never feel full. Someone else has to regulate the amount of food they get in reasonable portions.
That said, yes, the parents should be teaching him these things, instead of trying to control strangers, because that kid will see other people eating all the time, and it's unreasonable to throw tantrums because of that.
The sister-in-law in the 2nd story deserves a higher score as she never thought to use the $8000 she got from OP to pay the back-taxes she owed.
What the first OP needs to do is start texting his mom and step dad and bring the fact that they stole his money to paid for their house without his consent as much as possible. Then, he needs to go to a lawyer with that as his evidence when he turns 18.
*First Story:* OP GET LEGAL HELP NOW. You need it asap before they do something like this again. It’s your money & technically your house. You can choose not to press charges if you don’t wanna send your family to jail, but you can also still get your money back, control of your account & either the house or the money for the house.
Last story: I can understand how the girl feels, I hate putting on dresses and skirts and feel anxious about people seeing my arms and legs in public. I'm happy OP is giving her opinions that isn't dresses
Story 1: Dear Satan, I know you've got a specific layer of Hell for thieves. But can you please, please create a specific layer of Hell for parents who steal from their children? NTA
They probably get the dishonor of being labeled as traitors against their kindred and are thus send to Caina in the ninth circle.
Popopoooooooooh
You could ask God you know, he's the one who _created_ hell in the first place.
@@colbylawson5331 agree
@@Karlsson1976 Let's hope the Event Horizon ship gets them.
Story three: she should not have just gotten out of that house, she should really get out of that marriage
The story on the plane.
I’d give those parents at least a 3 out of 5 butt hole score.
What they’re doing is bigger than just this one flight.
It’s not teaching their son coping strategies for when he’s out in public, so he’s going to be even more difficult when he’s older (and therefore harder to manage).
I agree. Letting him throw tantrums and not teaching him self control is going to get him in big trouble when he gets too big for them to handle
Absolutly, it's not like he can avoid not seeing other people eat for the rest of his life.
It must be horrible to feel constantly hungry and really hard to get a grip on how much you can eat to stay healthy,
but in order to learn how to cope with all of that you need to start as soon as possible.
Those parents are activly holding back their childs development.
The fact that the kid at 9 still throws tamper tantrums regulary enough for the parents to mention it is a clear sign of that.
At that age children learn to voice their feelings clearly, develop a sense of justice and learn that other people have different perspectives.
And regarding the parents at this story they are doing everything so this doesn't happen, by making the world revolve around their son.
I feel sorry for that kid.
5/5, if you ask me.
Story 4: great job op just because your kid is always hungry doesn't mean you can't teach them the acceptable times to eat, and maybe you don't need food when other people have food? My niece acts the same but just gets told no
I’m underweight, have executive dysfunction which stops me from eating a lot, and get dizzy or start to feel sick sometimes when I need to eat. If I work up the will to eat, anyone getting in the way of that is getting lectured or yelled at because I can’t skip meals just to please others.
Your advice was right on on the inheritance story. Lawyer immediately. and they will have to refund the money they took. At worst the lawyer should file a lien against the house.
Story with the husband insulting his pregnant wife: he's telling you to go to therapy, and I think you should. But any therapist worth their salt would tell you you were in the right and to either get him in line or leave him
For that last story, OP is so in the right. I can guarantee that OP is going to be the favorite aunt.
1st story: OP definitely needs to go to a lawyer. I hope he gets ownership of the house so he can either evict his mom and stepdad, charge them rent, or sell it (in this market? Could make some decent money if they bought the house outright.)
2nd story: If the SIL couldn't correlate what she did to OP and her family with what OP offered, that is some major obliviousness.
3rd story: OP's husband is a horrible human being. Even if OP didn't have social anxiety, pregnancy hormones are the WORST. Having your husband saying he didn't want a daughter to look like his wife? WTF? Is this a mixed race marriage and he's a racist?
4th story: I was ready to call OP the AH but honestly, that family is terrible. A 9yo kid is old enough to understand that he's got a medical condition and learn to deal with things without throwing tantrums. Sure, not easy, but the parents are doing him absolutely no favors. His condition isn't going to change and the world is not going to cater to an adult who throws tantrums.
5th story: Caving would only make everyone but OP and the niece happy and last I checked, the niece is family, too.
If OP's husband is in a mixed race marriage, what did he marry her for? Just to have someone to legally passionately hug?
@@VicGeorge2K6 Who knows? I'm trying to figure out what about OP is so wrong that he doesn't want their daughter to look like her? And how stupid is he to not know how genetics work in the first place? Kids often resemble their parents in one way or another. If you don't want kids with someone then get snipped or get lost.
"I feel the need to educate you about my son's disease." Fine, but I am then going to educate you about MY disease that requires me to eat something."
Third story: OP should not only divorce that douchebag but also get a restraining order against him.
The last story: OP should stand her ground and do not allow the mother to dictate what her daughter should wearing to someone else's wedding especially since OP doesn't care about it only about it being in the chosen color. I seriously hate parents who go apeshit about their kids clothes or their hair, especially hair.
I agree with divorce and restraining order for that butt hole in the third story
I don't blame the niece in the last story. I haven't worn dresses myself in over 10 years because I'm a tomboy and absolutely can't stand most things girly.
Story 4: Find a new friend. That friend is enabling terrible behavior.
Yeah the friend knows op is diabetic
Fourth story : Nope. Like you said OP... Their problems are not yours. Just because the kid is going to throw a tantrum, it's not your responsibility.
As a trans guy, the last story warms my heart. I just know the kid will appreciate this and remember this for the rest of their life.
Someone they barely know showing them such kindness and compassion is bound to be a core memory. That family sucks @ss for trying to force the kid to wear something they don't want to wear.
Fr I was getting so angry at the mum, let the kid wear what they want.
Exactly what I was thinking. It could be a huge point in the understanding of their identity and who they are. I remember when I was first starting to come out to my family that being able to go to events such as weddings and reunions in what would be considered “gay clothing” made me feel great! It also prepared me for what people in the real world would think while vailed by family politeness.
I remember during my parents wedding I just wore a shirt and pants because "it's not about me". I feel more confident wearing whatever I want now that I moved out
Yeah I was thinking they might be trans as well because they seemed uncomfortable being called a girl too
Friendly reminder that choosing an androgynous appearance doesn't in any way imply that a person is trans.
How were his mom and stepdad even able to access the money? Wouldn't it all have been in his name and locked until he turned 18?
I sure as hell hope he sues. ALL of that house is his.
My brother’s a type one Diabetic. Oh. My. God. Okay, T1D means constantly managing your blood sugar levels, if OP needed to eat, there’s a good chance their blood sugar was dropping. Now, your blood sugar being high or low is bad, but if you’re low you’re in more immediate danger. If someone goes low enough, they can go into a state of shock of sorts, where they can barely think, speak, stand, etc. If this state is not treated immediately they can all to quickly go into a coma and die. So yeah, I got very angry reading that story.
Oh well, step dad got exactly what he had coming to him. That was THEFT and ILLEGAL, 100%!!!
The husband :
I would have laughed and called her the AH until we learned he says it all the time!! What a sorry low life POS human being for what he's doing. He's mad that SHE was being disrespectful but it's ok for HIM to be disrespectful!! Wow!
Story One: OP definitely get a lawyer. What they did was insanely illegal and I think they may have committed fraud as well. I don't know if its the same as removing money from a college fund but when I was a minor, my parents needed money for bills and food as I had medical issues that were leaching their personal funds. I said yes. They went to do it and got denied. Unless I signed something saying I consented, they would not give my parents even a penny of my college fund. I assume this is the same for inheritance and if so, they may have forged your signature.
Story Two: OP report her to the IRS. She claimed YOUR children on food stamps and then, I assume, did not use their portion for their own food. She used it for herself. She also I assume did not report the rent to them as she should have, as with food stamps you have to report ANY constant income whether job related or not. If its donations from a friend? you have to report. Renting out your space? you have to report it. Only had a job for 4 months? Still needs to be reported. She may have been under reporting her income and if so, she may actually owe her state money.
For the parents with the child that’s always hungry, they have the option to remove him from the triggering stimulus. Once the fasten seatbelts indicators is off-walk him down the isle to the front or back, giving the people in their isle time to eat and it wouldn’t even be unreasonable to ask them “hey when you’re going to be snacking if you could please let me know so I can distract my child” idk it seems like parents don’t understand that they’re responsible for mitigating their child’s suffering, not forcing those around to accommodate them.
Its just entitled brats, raising entitled brats
Last Story: I feel for this niece so hard it’s unreal. I grew up never feeling comfortable in my skin, and as I got older, it became increasingly apparent that I was trans. Even as I expressed discomfort to the point of tears with having to wear certain things, my parents forced me to do it anyway, and it shattered my self-esteem - it made it that much harder to look at myself and feel happy. Trans or not, being forced to wear something that makes you uncomfortable isn’t something you should have to be put through. Likewise, people telling you that you can’t wear something because of who you are is far more damaging than we care to realize. As soon as we stop dictating what people can wear and stop judging people simply by their creative expression, the world will become a much more accepting and colorful place.
Story 4: I sat next to a T1D when I had my molar drilled out and couldn't eat for days and not once did I ask them not to eat because it would make me "uncomfortable" to see someone eating. nta that family was just being minulapting
I've seriously listened to every single video multiple times. It's my favorite thing to do. 😁
Good to know....
Story 4: fellow T1D here, regardless if OP has diabetes or not, regardless of disease/ disability, one disability does not triumph another when one is in distress. The kid was not in distress, OP was. OP’s life triumphs over a tantrum. What do these parents do if they go out to eat? Or like R/slash’s movie example?
Fellow T1D, those parents are disgusting. They expect the world to cater to them at the expense of the health, and potential life, of others. OP was much kinder in their words than I would have been.
Story One: I found the thread on Reddit and my god, poor boy! I am so glad that there are people supporting him and walking him through the situation. Really hope that there will be an update on this situation. However, it does sound like his mum married a narcissist and she has her blinds on as well. My mum was married to a narcissist as well and he was always fixated on money. When they divorced, he tried to put us on the street, but he forgot that the apartment where I grew up was under my mum´s name as well and she told him: "Not today, Satan! Not today!" Money is one of the main sources of control for them.
My question for the grandma house is. If Grandma had a 5 bedroom house with apparently no one else there. Why didn't she let OP and her kids love there?
That last story hit me hard. I was forced to wear a dress at one of my relative’s weddings because there were no other options and it messed me up for the longest time. Kudos to you OP for being considerate of your niece. Who knows, if she felt like I did back then she may even become your nephew and will look back at that wedding day with a smile.
Felt that
The guy in the first story should definitely sue for his money. If they committed felony theft against you you don't have to feel bad about suing family
With the first story, I really hope OP talks to an attorney as soon as possible. I am not necessarily encouraging him to sue his parents, but a formal notice letter should get their attention.
EP: I'm gonna educate you on my son's disease
OP: cool, and then I can educate you on type 1 diabetes
That plane story is so annoying especially when ops friends said(oh your the butt hole) but put the friend on the plane they would act the same so that crap is hypocritical for the love of God
Story 5:
I’m in a similar situation to the niece, I’m a closeted nonbinary/ gender-fluid and my mom is extremely homophobic. She (and sometimes my dad) makes constant comments about the fact I should dress more feminine. It really hurts to hear it. I hate wearing dresses but will wear skirts. If the niece isn’t just dressing androgynous because she wants to I’m guessing maybe she could be in the closet (this is only personal speculation based off of my experiences) but even if she isn’t what the mom is doing is totally unacceptable!! Completely demeaning someone’s style is very Insulting to their character and person. The mom gets 3.5/5, the niece 0/5, you 0/5, and your husband gets 0/5. Thank you for being accommodative towards your niece.
I have a diabetic parent and OP handled that very well many Diabetics get snappy when they have blood sugar issues, they have to eat to prevent too low of blood sugar
.....
Also what parent wont allow their kid one snack on a plane ride
Glad to see you upload another day, Rslash! You’re the best!
4th story, I might have that condition as I’m always hungry but I thought it was just my extremely high metabolism as I’m always hungry but I don’t have tantrums about it
Fourth Story: As someone who has a diabetic father, his life is more important than a little tantrum. Your son would be fine after getting him some food or distracting him, but my father would be needing medical care, or might not even survive the plane ride if his sugar levels get too low.
OP is not TA in this situation.
Man that last story hit hard. If OP was okay with the bridesmaids wearing whatever as long as it fits in with a color, then so be it! But I know from experience going to a event wearing clothes you aren't comfortable with is excruciatingly painful. I was miserable all throughout my older sister's wedding because I was talked into wearing a dress.
My legs were tore apart by bugs, I felt gross, I was unhappy, and I even just regret going in general. I can't even look at myself in the photos because I remember being so miserable. So good on OP for accomidating to her neice and others that aren't comfortable in dresses or specific clothes. It's refreshing to read about someone who sincerely wants everyone to be happy during the wedding without pushing things onto someone who might be uncomfortable.
Story 1: Agreed. OP needs to sue his egg donor and her shitty husband for the inheritance they stole.
It's always nice to see a new rSLASH video especially after a stressful day.
As someone with diabetes, I can tell you that if I don't eat when having a blood sugar issue, I could die. A person with prader willi syndrome may have a temper tantrum without food, but they won't die without food. I would rather deal with the kids temper tantrum than die just to appease his parents.
Yeah, those parents were using their son's medical condition to act like they were in the right. But one is just a child making a tantrum for wanting to eat outta time, which is less of a thing of the condition of the kid, more lack of education and limits by those two entitled parents, other is OP with a condition he literally needs to eat otherwise he'll DIE!
And rSlash is right, what happens when they go to a cinema? Or even when they go out at all, does they say everyone eating outside restaurants or even eating something at the street, or street food vendors, "Oh please throw away your food, you're making my poor son about to go in a tantrum"?
I suffer from low blood sugar, and i'll be honest i'd rather eat and piss everyone off, than potentially faint
The nibling in the last story has acknowledged their own non-binary status themselves if not to their family. OP is not the AH. OP's in-laws on the other hand...
Not wanting to wear traditionally Feminine clothing does not make Niece non-binary. Maybe she is, but there is no indication as such.
@@Busefalis You may be right. The evidence in court suggests a weight of "probable cause." That is, there is evidence, but only a direct query will give the proper evidence at this point considering OP uses gendered pronouns. The way OP talks to her nibling suggests she would not be one to misgender a person. Her in-laws on the other hand.
Watched this 17 seconds after it got posted
Don't care
Didn’t ask.
Wow no way! That's so interesting and you're so popular!🤥🤥
to the last story:
i am trans (AFAB), and i never knew why i hated using dresses in my whole childhood, because i find them really pretty, just not in me, but my parents always forced me to wear feminine clothes. when i find out im trans (about 13 or 14 y), i put my foot down and start to dress more androginous, and my mom always made those same coments that OP's niece's mom said, and boy that REALLY hurt, to the point that i almost "off" myself at 16 and 17y and dealing with depression.
when i was reading that part of the story, i imeditaly saw myself back in this situation when i was not out yet but my disphoria was literally killing me. i have things to tell my therapist to the next generation just about this topic, because i never had that one aunt that said "use whatever you feel confortable, it really doesent matter", and no, they dont have to "take one for the family" and use "just for once" something that makes them unconfortable.
i dont know if OP's niece is trans and this is the case, but the situation is really similar to mine when i was their age. so, no OP, you are not the asshole for defending your niece's right to express themself, and i think that this is a really good thing to start a cool relationship with them.
Story 2 - 1 month of hotel stays covered when they took 11 months to pay out is horrific.
Hey I just have to say I always enjoy your content and I hope you doing good and your in good health
For the third story, I get that it was meant to be a joke. However, if you know your wife has self-esteem issues, and anxiety you really don’t wanna do that. Instead her husband should’ve made a joke self deprecating, or at least be considerate of his wife’s feelings. He should’ve apologized. Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who has no problem with offensive jokes and very often South ever case him self which I Kinda have to do at my age. For context you know you’re really getting up there when your birth certificate just says says how on earth are you still alive and is on the inside of an Egyptian tomb
It wasn't meant to be a joke, it was played off as one. OP's husband knows exactly what he's doing.
@@ResidentMilf i’m trying to give him the benefit of doubt. I don’t know the husband or the wife, I’m just basing it off of the information provided by OP. Given that I wasn’t there, and we don’t have any more contacts it does appear that it was actually intended to be a joke
For OP who has T1D and was flying with the Prader-Willi child, I am a nurse who has worked with developmental disabilities and I learned a saying: "A lack of planning on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on my part"
Means that mommy dearest on the plane's poor planning for her child isn't your emergency, you're not the AH, they didn't plan correctly, they should have bought the entire row, with the child sitting in the middle and parents sitting on both sides, or however is fitting that way they can control their child's environment and meal times as normal.
Mom: You need to apologize
Response: Hell No, and your not off the hook either
For that last story, about the mother-in-law who was trying to make OP require her bridesmaids to all wear dresses, the OP should have told her 'OK, I'll do that'......then just tell the bridesmaids to wear whatever they want anyway...then they show up to the wedding wearing stuff like trousers, pantsuit, Gandalf robe, Stormtrooper costumes, hippie outfit, whatever lol.
The diabetic story: i feel like there is a huge difference between them talking to OP politely, explaining why they want OP not to eat and OP explaining he needs to snack because he has diabetis, versus them just unilaterally dismissing the flight atendant, screw what the other adult on their row wants or needs.
I think OPs rage is justified, they were rude, entitled, condescending and had no consideration for the needs of anyone else but themselves.
It's pretty common for people to make insulting jokes, then pass it off like it's your fault that you didn't find it funny. My dad would make racist and homophobic jokes, despite me (his son) being Bisexual, and his wife being Chinese. If you didn't find his joke funny, he's say "You need to lighten up." He once made a homophobic joke to the person at the cash register, came home and told me, "I think I upset a snowflake." I said "He's not a snowflake, that's just homophobic and disgusting." To quote "Not my fault if people can't take a joke. He needs to lighten up." So next time he had family over for dinner, I took his box of Viagra and handed it to him at the dinner table in front of everyone and said "You dropped this in the garage" and walked away. He came into my room after everyone left, screaming and yelling. I said "Lighten up snowflake, it was a joke." I think it's pretty clear why he and I haven't spoken in about 6 years lol
OP in the fourth story is a god send... My cousin involved me in her wedding and my whole family forced me to wear a dress for it, despite my brother and father wearing a polo and pants. It upset me... I hate dresses, skirts, everything like that. I'm FTM trans man, didn't know it at the time, but my family wouldn't care either way. I can't look at pictures from my cousin's wedding without feeling angry. I can't look at any photo of myself wearing a skirt or a dress without feeling upset, knowing how I hated and still do hate those things...
Story 3: Husband is an abuser. Op leave now! Story 4: OPs “friend” would have rather she died to prevent a freaking tantrum. I have friends and had a fam member with diabetes. Op could have passed out or died from low blood sugar. Op you need new friends and those parents should fly private. I feel bad for the kid but dammit people need to eat.
I would straight up sue my mother and step dad for the house since they used my inheritance to buy it. Like they stole from me tf
Another Rslash rule of thumb, "What is "Just a joke" is up for the recipient to decide, Not the person who said it!"
Hmmm.... Hangry or diabetic coma and possible death at 30,000 feet. Gosh, it's SO hard to choose. 🤔🙄