Christian Mingle: The Movie

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  • čas přidán 27. 12. 2018
  • Yup! This is a real full-length movie that was made by the dating site, Christian Mingle. My friend told me about this movie, so I sat down and watched the entire thing several times. Obviously, it's terrible, so I decided to make a video about it. Enjoy!
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Komentáře • 16K

  • @ameliaspell3726
    @ameliaspell3726 Před 5 lety +11737

    GRETCHEN, STOP TRYING TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPEN.
    IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

  • @emilysalinas9176
    @emilysalinas9176 Před 4 lety +4724

    "If God didn't give you a husband, you ain't getting a husband Gretch" LMAO

  • @johnniesstorytime7837
    @johnniesstorytime7837 Před 2 lety +5630

    I love how even in movies written by and for Christians, the Christian characters are still insufferable bullies

  • @fucknut8918
    @fucknut8918 Před rokem +4685

    As a latino, I can guarantee you miss Kelly over there was genuinely speaking incomprehensible gibberish

    • @ariannamorie2020
      @ariannamorie2020 Před rokem +287

      Yes I was like qué

    • @ladykynthos
      @ladykynthos Před rokem +167

      I mean, se entiende si lo reproduces varias veces, pero no sis, qué haces 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀. Suena peor que yo hablando alemán xd

    • @shani21420
      @shani21420 Před rokem +236

      She was definitely casting a spell💀, but I think she said “Hermanos míos, considérense muy dischosos(???) cuando tienen que enfrentarse con diversas pruebas.” And yes I know I’m late af I’m 4 years late.

    • @eggs8021
      @eggs8021 Před rokem +27

      ​@@shani21420 comment is only 3 months old no prob bro

    • @adinarosenstein9586
      @adinarosenstein9586 Před rokem +8

      @@shani21420 I unfortunately don't speak Spanish- what's that in English?

  • @fletchergillespie3242
    @fletchergillespie3242 Před 4 lety +5966

    This whole movie is shot like a medicine commercial

  • @hellolamby
    @hellolamby Před 5 lety +1939

    “Husband for you, husband for you, husband for you...
    And none for Gretchen Weiners.”
    Brilliant.

  • @tatebarnett6804
    @tatebarnett6804 Před 2 lety +1463

    My mother is Christian and often invites Christian friends over. There's one particular couple who have no personality other than being Christian and my sister calls them the NPCs.

    • @corahtheskeleton8062
      @corahtheskeleton8062 Před rokem +277

      "No Personality Christians"?

    • @iateconditoner
      @iateconditoner Před 11 měsíci +38

      @@corahtheskeleton8062LMAO

    • @Roozyj
      @Roozyj Před 10 měsíci +56

      Some people are just stereotypes like that and I don't know how it happens xD I mean, I suppose if I get to know them a little better, there's more to them, but I remember meeting two Metalheads™, a handyman™ and a creative chick ™. I can imagine these Christian people are the same, but Christian™

    • @guydude439
      @guydude439 Před 8 měsíci +34

      As a Catholic, I can confirm that I am actually an NPC and I literally only exist to be a background character in a church congregation in movies

  • @andy-kc8dz
    @andy-kc8dz Před 2 lety +1629

    as an asian person, i have never wanted to punch someone more than that guy taking forever to chew on some sushi

    • @Unfuckwitable1
      @Unfuckwitable1 Před rokem +116

      I'm Mexican American, I was PISSED for you. I LOVE sushi! That's NOT how you eat it when you love it. Ugh.

    • @mellow_mallow
      @mellow_mallow Před rokem +103

      The way he fucking stabs it HELP

    • @eloisethekitkat5223
      @eloisethekitkat5223 Před rokem +89

      same. i was so angry. MY GUY HOW CHEWY IS UR FISH? GODDAMN

    • @hat7475
      @hat7475 Před rokem +39

      whenevr i eat sushi, it takes time, yes but not as ungodly long as he did. He was WEAK

    • @kaskaskas
      @kaskaskas Před rokem +3

      Love your fyp 🤭

  • @zannchristo
    @zannchristo Před 4 lety +4409

    Dear people saying her Spanish sounds like someone summoning Satan:
    Please stop, Satan is scared of whatever language she's speaking

    • @satan4961
      @satan4961 Před 3 lety +154

      Hell yeah. As Satan herself, I was scared when she was talking.

    • @paris5410
      @paris5410 Před 3 lety +55

      @Satan aww, poor you. Have a hug.

    • @paris5410
      @paris5410 Před 3 lety +29

      Satan speaks all languages really well also apparently.

    • @pyrodynamics75
      @pyrodynamics75 Před 3 lety +10

      @@satan4961 Hell yeah indeed

    • @jungsushi6447
      @jungsushi6447 Před 3 lety +18

      @@satan4961 please stop giving me bad luck

  • @k8lyn76
    @k8lyn76 Před 3 lety +3080

    "Christian Mingle? You're better off being CHRIstiaN SiNgLE"

    • @liamfelhorn6841
      @liamfelhorn6841 Před 3 lety +45

      Chrinsnle

    • @KikiChan_007
      @KikiChan_007 Před 3 lety +64

      A little Christian Pringle

    • @njblackbird3148
      @njblackbird3148 Před 3 lety +30

      Chris Kringle

    • @farateq
      @farateq Před 3 lety +3

      Naomij Davies jingle jangle hey kris kringle got ice in his veins for a reason-

    • @cowlass6159
      @cowlass6159 Před 3 lety +8

      No joke I got an AD for a dating app called Upward for Christian Singles. So like.... Can't even have a Christian Single now.

  • @oneofthechampagnes5482
    @oneofthechampagnes5482 Před rokem +1137

    I thought my standards were low in highschool but this grown woman's standards are "look me in the eyes for 10 seconds and smile" 😂

    • @mellow_mallow
      @mellow_mallow Před rokem +53

      I really wanted Kurtis to cut from that line to him just staring at the camera for 10 seconds before smiling because wow 10 seconds feels a lot longer than it sounds in practice

    • @Sky-bx9mn
      @Sky-bx9mn Před rokem +32

      Plot twist: Gretchen is actually a camera in human form

    • @ekinersoy3002
      @ekinersoy3002 Před 3 měsíci

      Lmao this reminded me Kurtis' Twisted Pair video where in the beginning Neil Breen looks into the camera for a while then suddenly smiles. It's official now, Neil Breen is the standard.

  • @_emory
    @_emory Před 2 lety +668

    Imagine being a Christian and breaking up with a girl for not being Christian enough on a missionary trip
    Instead of helping her become Christian enough

    • @kittysharpe5269
      @kittysharpe5269 Před 4 měsíci +24

      Welcome to Christianity

    • @SamRK-1000
      @SamRK-1000 Před 4 měsíci

      Fucking real, it’s obvious this Christian dating site is made by a bunch of westboro Baptist types.

    • @TheQuashingoftheTub
      @TheQuashingoftheTub Před 2 měsíci

      I mean if a guy is that suffocatingly christian, I'd rather he dump me than shove his religion down my esophagus.
      -my christian ass?

  • @someamorplease
    @someamorplease Před 4 lety +9777

    So you’re telling me that Christian Mingle advertised themselves with a film about a woman LYING about being a Christian?? I see no flaws here.

    • @wickeddodgeboys6603
      @wickeddodgeboys6603 Před 4 lety +277

      Liars lieing about lies. Truth

    • @someamorplease
      @someamorplease Před 4 lety +169

      WickedDodgeBoys Straight up bars bro

    • @wickeddodgeboys6603
      @wickeddodgeboys6603 Před 4 lety +19

      @@someamorplease omw

    • @user-yc8xw8bd5r
      @user-yc8xw8bd5r Před 4 lety +199

      The creators of Christian Mingle aren't even Christian, so the way they made the movie kind of makes since. They give off the impression that they are Christian so Christians will use their website, and the girl in the movie pretends to be a Christian so she can marry someone.

    • @annulizbeth
      @annulizbeth Před 4 lety +10

      @@wickeddodgeboys6603 You sound like that dude from bestie picks bae . Sometimes I lie to pigeons

  • @RespectedGamer72
    @RespectedGamer72 Před 4 lety +2031

    That "Spanish" sounded like someone trying to speak Italian in the most nasally French accent they could do

  • @vikarehaixer9574
    @vikarehaixer9574 Před rokem +445

    as someone raised christian: the most unbelievable thing is that they were mad she wasnt already "fully christian" like when someone even HINTS that they might like to get into it its like sharks to water they would be all about getting her fully converted

    • @clairee527
      @clairee527 Před rokem +50

      oh no, that part is VERY realistic. the whole "youre not enough of a christian" is extremely prevalent, as is claiming any christian they dont like as "not a true christian"

    • @hat7475
      @hat7475 Před rokem +22

      @@clairee527 i feel thats true. because while my family dont speak much about religioun (but my mom is still quite _really_ religious), i have struggled ALOT internally on about being 'not christian enough'which doesn't help when im also a young lgbtq child

    • @hahstudios2753
      @hahstudios2753 Před 7 měsíci +7

      @@hat7475I know this is a super old comment but I hope you’re doing better now

  • @ayshaneaviles5671
    @ayshaneaviles5671 Před rokem +124

    kelly basically told the kids that they should be happy when confronted with challenges which is 100x worse than not knowing the bible by heart 💀💀💀💀

  • @classicxlolita
    @classicxlolita Před 4 lety +1817

    “I want a man who wears plaid shirts, force feeds me cookies, and makes me wanna throw up watching him eat new foods. Bonus if he only loves me if I’m Christian enough.”

    • @Kijinn
      @Kijinn Před 4 lety +68

      "Bonus if he only loves me if I’m Christian enough.”
      I didn't see any "love" there. That was a man desperate to find someone else to fuck/abuse after the previous woman ran off. How would he actually love her, considering he hasn't seen or cared for her in a year?

    • @shay.w.5812
      @shay.w.5812 Před 4 lety +59

      @@Kijinn like he literally only came back to her when the other girl was gone. Honestly it's kinda creepy. She's desperate out of loneliness and is obviously dealing with some mental health problems like how she has a mental breakdown when he rejects her. And he knows this and toys around with her, even getting her to stop working and go to Mexico with him where his ex and mom can bully her.
      He plays around with her emotions again and again and stands her up multiple times only to come back to her when he has no other choice. It's sick.

    • @Kijinn
      @Kijinn Před 4 lety +34

      @@shay.w.5812
      Yes, this really only seems to have the formula for making women obedient to abusive men, under the guise of "God demands it."
      All the movie does is to emphasize why relationships based on religious ties *aren't* the smart choice.
      Sadly, relationships outside of that frequently suffer due to modern civilizations lacking emotional stability. We're just on the brink of discovering how to consciously deal with our subconsciousness. It's not something that ordinary parents or school know how to teach.

    • @coolbeans2345
      @coolbeans2345 Před 3 lety

      @@Kijinn read running on empty by janice webb

  • @jfk2622
    @jfk2622 Před 5 lety +1866

    *If God didn't give you a husband, you ain't gettin' a husband Gretch*

  • @charlottemartyr
    @charlottemartyr Před 2 lety +138

    I think the cookies keep coming up as a kinda weird and unsubtle way to reinforce that she’s changing and becoming a “better, more humble, and more obedient Christian girl” bc this is 100% the kind of thing they’d do to me when I lived with my ultra-religious family; they try to force you to change small things so your primed to change bigger things.
    Like she changes her religion, her job, her eating habits, her interests, even stops eating and speaking SpOoKy FoRiEgN sTuFf oooo meanwhile wonderbread gets to tell her to fuck off twice, change nothing about the way he acts or thinks, and gets to waltz in and be her husband anyway
    Like it never says why she doesn’t eat cookies but it’s kinda implied “oh, she’s a worldly city girl who wears the pants in her life. She eats sushi and not cookies bc she’s vain and *multicultural* oooo scary” so instead of being like “yeah mr mayo is too different from me we’re not a good couple” she forced herself to change to be the kind of girl he likes bc she’s so desperate and really, /wouldn’t she be more happy as a married Christian girl who’s subservient and obedient to her husband?/
    My folks tried to do the same thing with me and instead I moved out, spent 5 years working on my own life and casually meeting people before finding someone who ACTUALLY understood and liked me that I ACTUALLY wanted to spend my life with lol

  • @RikaKaugya
    @RikaKaugya Před 2 lety +198

    as someone who was raised Christian and being the only female in my family (had cousins that were all boys), the pressure I was put on as a CHILD to get married as young as 18 was wild.

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 Před měsícem +1

      My mother in law was not a Christian, but at 19, she stole my birthcontroll so I would start a family.
      Luckily I noticed and had a spare pack of pills. I am 32 now and I will not have kids.

  • @sophieheritage478
    @sophieheritage478 Před 4 lety +7054

    I didn’t realise this was only released in 2014. This legitimately seems like something from 2004.

  • @mackenzie6810
    @mackenzie6810 Před 2 lety +4546

    This movie is the definition of
    “I want a church girl that go to church and read her bible”

  • @nerdklutz
    @nerdklutz Před 2 lety +110

    17:02 as a latino, i dont know if i should laugh or genuinely be concerned that not even one person that spoke Spanish was on their production team

  • @electriz6726
    @electriz6726 Před rokem +71

    I physically cannot believe that Corbin Bernsen actually wrote this, that is genuinely hilarious considering that all of his other films and shows are the farthest from a good Christian cinema as possible 😂

    • @StupidBirdChannel
      @StupidBirdChannel Před 7 měsíci +9

      I just know him for beeing the dad in Psych ans was kinda feeling weird about that fact xD

  • @lydia-gi8gw
    @lydia-gi8gw Před 5 lety +1875

    *”goodbye burn book, hello good book”*

  • @thea.-
    @thea.- Před 4 lety +4262

    As a Christian, I'm just trying to figure out how this movie is going to make any logical-thinking person want to use Christian mingle.....

    • @mman6564
      @mman6564 Před 4 lety +360

      I think this is for the w e i r d christians. You know the ones

    • @thea.-
      @thea.- Před 4 lety +83

      @@mman6564 totally

    • @casualcrisis6349
      @casualcrisis6349 Před 4 lety +51

      you're right it needs to be more cult-y for christians to buy into

    • @junehanabi1756
      @junehanabi1756 Před 4 lety +32

      As a Pagan I find is absolutely hilarious

    • @lj.853
      @lj.853 Před 3 lety +34

      @@mman6564 the ones we don't associate with...

  • @slartybartfast
    @slartybartfast Před 2 lety +46

    They could've had a dating montage if she tried other dating apps first that weren't working out and it would've made me story better and still satisfy the brand

  • @husyay1008
    @husyay1008 Před rokem +59

    I can't believe they put a movie in this ad, unbelievable

  • @abigaildelaney7653
    @abigaildelaney7653 Před 5 lety +10973

    Husband for you, husband for you, husband for you...
    *and none for Gretchen Wieners, bye*
    I’m crying.

    • @cenedra20
      @cenedra20 Před 5 lety +10

      +

    • @jessicahymow1410
      @jessicahymow1410 Před 5 lety +297

      3 husbands for Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco.

    • @Hailey-qv6ee
      @Hailey-qv6ee Před 5 lety +64

      I legitimately choked on my cake I was laughing so hard I cried

    • @evie37509
      @evie37509 Před 5 lety +32

      I subscribed for this joke

    • @dottyContrarian
      @dottyContrarian Před 5 lety +8

      @@jessicahymow1410 *I thought it was four..*

  • @lunamarie1472
    @lunamarie1472 Před 4 lety +5462

    Hahahaha omg i don’t speak english natively and when he said “dating sites where christians can meet other christians” I didn’t think of the religion I thought some guys named Christian were too extra to date any other people than fellow Christians and I didn’t even question it lmaooo

  • @erina2600
    @erina2600 Před rokem +78

    The stark, stale, whiteness of the steak and cake scene intermingled with the indulgent, messy, steak and cakes is like something in a weird horror movie.
    Like they’d totally just go absolutely fucking rabid eating the cake and steaks with only their hands and just mushing it into their faces, and we’d get this absolutely chaotic shot of them leaving the restaurant, seat empty, white couch and walls just coated in chocolate smears and grease. Then we’d get a shot of them leaving, a little smirk on their faces, and wiping their mouths with these clean white handkerchiefs they’d all personally keep in their pockets, but it would just smear the chocolate and grease around their mouths and their hands would also be so sticky and dirty, also their clothes would be all wrinkled and smeared with food.

    • @mynamejeff3545
      @mynamejeff3545 Před rokem +18

      It's weirdly specific, but you're also 100% right. Though it would probably be even creepier if their face and hands were miraculously spotless by the time they left the restaurant. Or their clothes still looking like they came fresh from the dry-cleaner, while slowly panning back and forth between the carnage left behind in the restaurant and the spotless wonderbread Christians as they get in the car and go home.

    • @katharineball585
      @katharineball585 Před 5 měsíci +2

      Why is that so scary (I'm agreeing just so yk)

  • @riiinarose
    @riiinarose Před rokem +169

    Life has not been great to Lacey acting wise since mean girls 😭😂😂 the amount of Hallmark Christmas movies she’s been in is ridiculous 😂

    • @caseyadams1861
      @caseyadams1861 Před rokem +27

      I don't know. At least, that's steady work. It's hard to try to get consistent roles in major motion pictures, unless you're like a top A-lister. She's still doing much better than Lindsay Lohan.

    • @Melody-td5hd
      @Melody-td5hd Před rokem +17

      @@caseyadams1861 I agree. Actors can make good money starring in these Hallmark movies. And since Lacey Chabert has actual Hollywood/TV roles on her resume, she's likely able to pull a larger salary in these movies.

    • @God_Is_An_Atheist
      @God_Is_An_Atheist Před rokem +12

      Yeah, over 30 Hallmark movies and she just signed a new contract with them after so many actors left for that new Hallmark-style channel (forgot the name). But I think she's doing pretty well. She probably makes a lot of money with Hallmark, does the occasional minor guest role in some series and also does a lot of voice acting (e.g. Star Wars: The Old Republic, Injustice, the Kung Fu Panda series, The Spectacular Spider-Man - just to name a few).

    • @riiinarose
      @riiinarose Před rokem +7

      Fair enough you all have a point lowkey didn’t even think of it that way but hey steady work is steady work so facts

  • @user-mr1hs4fx7z
    @user-mr1hs4fx7z Před 5 lety +11520

    Spanish is my second language.
    I have no idea what language that lady is speaking. Sounds like she's summoning Satan.

    • @yaage28
      @yaage28 Před 4 lety +281

      I never comment on youtube videos but your comment has exactly 666 likes and that made my day - you summoned the devil toooo 😱

    • @omarsaucedo8430
      @omarsaucedo8430 Před 4 lety +1144

      spanish is my first language and i thought that lady was speaking latin or italian

    • @FuriedHearts
      @FuriedHearts Před 4 lety +737

      Wait. Are you saying she literally spoke Spanish jibberish? Wtf....
      It's not that difficult to learn ONE line in the actual language. Lazy and stupid

    • @omarsaucedo8430
      @omarsaucedo8430 Před 4 lety +633

      @@FuriedHearts that line sounds like she was told to google translate her line word by word and then just read it without a care about spanish phonetics.

    • @sofiamoreno8359
      @sofiamoreno8359 Před 4 lety +231

      "Hermanos míos. Considérenese muy dichosos cuando tengan que enfrentarse a otros pueblos"... (?)
      Is my closest guess

  • @Pingyliskus
    @Pingyliskus Před 3 lety +31131

    There’s Hollywood, there’s Bollywood. Now let me introduce you to Holywood.

  • @Shadeadder
    @Shadeadder Před 2 lety +48

    the funniest part is that all these characters act like evangelical protestants but thats CLEARLY a catholic church they're attending in 14:17 lmao

  • @joy_http
    @joy_http Před 2 lety +131

    The saddest part of this entire thing is that this was directed by the guy who played the dad in Psych and my soul is crushed.

    • @afoolishman
      @afoolishman Před rokem +10

      IN PSYCH? THE DETECTIVE SHOW WITH GUS AND SHAWN??? I’m going to jump off a roof that’s so omfg
      I can’t ever watch it the same again
      no omfg

    • @daydream5120
      @daydream5120 Před rokem +7

      I can’t look at him the same way ever again

    • @StupidBirdChannel
      @StupidBirdChannel Před 7 měsíci +4

      Was scrolling the heck out of this comment section to see if I was the only one to notice! Thanks ffs, was litteraly rewatching the show just before watching this vid and was stuned by this!

    • @SarahLaffey
      @SarahLaffey Před 7 měsíci

      I KNOW THAT MESSED ME UP

  • @michaelio6548
    @michaelio6548 Před 3 lety +3809

    Why didn't Gwyneth just... say she was recently converted instead of pretending that she was christian before

    • @audreycoleman7313
      @audreycoleman7313 Před 2 lety +303

      Because the company couldn't milk the rest of the 1hour 30mins out of the viewers bc the entire plot would crumble :(

    • @sourpatchkids351
      @sourpatchkids351 Před 2 lety +169

      why use a christian dating app when you’re not christian? is christian mingle the only dating app in their world?

    • @michaelio6548
      @michaelio6548 Před 2 lety +244

      @@sourpatchkids351 I think you cracked the case. This is a dystopian universe where all other dating apps have been eradicated and we never noticed it, right under our noses.
      (Love the neiru pfp btw)

    • @sourpatchkids351
      @sourpatchkids351 Před 2 lety +34

      @@michaelio6548 haha thanks! the show lowkey fell apart at the end, but i still have a soft spot in my heart for it and it’s characters :)

    • @wilfulbuckle13
      @wilfulbuckle13 Před 2 lety +3

      Isn't lying bad though?

  • @prussianmaple
    @prussianmaple Před 4 lety +12148

    spanish is my first language and i have just two comments about it
    a) i had to listen like 4 times to understand what that lady said
    b) she literally said "consider yourselves lucky that you got tested by god" girl my village 😭😭

    • @temtem8110
      @temtem8110 Před 4 lety +1835

      Imagine telling a child whose life was destroyed that she’s a lucky one. AND WITH THAT VOICE. What a great message, Christian Mingle, with a dash of sociopathy and entitlement ✨👌

    • @lunadoodles8810
      @lunadoodles8810 Před 4 lety +853

      oh wow spanish is also my first language and i had actually thought she was saying nonsense

    • @emma-di5ly
      @emma-di5ly Před 4 lety +159

      That's just... wow

    • @ceci7783
      @ceci7783 Před 4 lety +165

      what the FUCK

    • @williamshookspear9584
      @williamshookspear9584 Před 4 lety +33

      Savage

  • @sofiah1174
    @sofiah1174 Před rokem +45

    That lady was straight up speaking in tongues that was NOT Spanish lmaooo

  • @luciapesce9015
    @luciapesce9015 Před 10 měsíci +12

    It took me a couple tries, but that girl said "My brothers, consider yourselves happy when you have to face various trials," which you don't say to a little girl whose entire home was destroyed lol basically told her "just smile, no biggie" lol

  • @reneewetsel875
    @reneewetsel875 Před 4 lety +1814

    "See them? I think they're on a Tinder date."
    "Wow, that's gotta be so awkward." "Thank God we used
    *cHriStiAn MiNgLe"*

    • @ley8443
      @ley8443 Před 4 lety +58

      *insert cheesy ad music*

    • @lillianbetts8747
      @lillianbetts8747 Před 4 lety +15

      That was my immediate thought when I saw this video 😂❤️

    • @realrandoms1013
      @realrandoms1013 Před 4 lety +16

      That vine got them more clout than this movie

  • @lillianbetts8747
    @lillianbetts8747 Před 4 lety +6645

    “I’m terrible with time management”
    UMMMMMM Mr.Struggle?!!

  • @BrendanMcGinley
    @BrendanMcGinley Před 2 lety +19

    GF came in and started watching this with me, and her instant reaction to the sushi scene was "That guy's not going to go down on her."

  • @babywigeon
    @babywigeon Před 2 lety +60

    10:55 as a Japanese person, I'd be like aight date over lol you doing too much to make this food seem gross & it's disrespectful

    • @caramel_frappe
      @caramel_frappe Před 6 měsíci +2

      Exactly like at that point you could spit it out in front of me and say it's disgusting and I would be less offended than what going on in the scene.
      I would just end it there

  • @loglogic7846
    @loglogic7846 Před 2 lety +14978

    Nobody going to talk about how 80% of Mexico is already Christian, teaching Christianity in Mexico is like teaching a professor how to read.

    • @arantzawen2481
      @arantzawen2481 Před 2 lety +550

      soooo true like all of my family are catholic

    • @possum2203
      @possum2203 Před 2 lety +554

      To be fair, being christian and being catholic are different things. In Mexico we are mostly catholic

    • @loglogic7846
      @loglogic7846 Před 2 lety +445

      @@possum2203 No? Catholocism is a dominion of Christianity. I'm a Mexican Catholic myself. If Christian mingle is protestant they'll have no luck in Latin America.

    • @possum2203
      @possum2203 Před 2 lety +236

      @@loglogic7846 Oh really? I didn't know that. I'm also mexican catholic but I haven't met that many christians and even then we don't really talk about religion. I was once told that one of the differences was that we catholics believe in saints and virgins as deities and christians don't but I'm not really sure now

    • @isabelbelem9062
      @isabelbelem9062 Před 2 lety +21

      @@loglogic7846 Here in Brazil maybe

  • @ollieshark
    @ollieshark Před 5 lety +26166

    My grandma unironically forced me to watch this after i dyed my hair blue because i need a nice, moral christian husband to set me on the blonde path to heaven.

    • @seigeengine
      @seigeengine Před 4 lety +4066

      So get yourself an atheist wife to set you on the blue path to hell.

    • @Trustinss
      @Trustinss Před 4 lety +897

      seigeengine hell yah

    • @annadean387
      @annadean387 Před 4 lety +1722

      Well you don’t want to be the last one standing do you?

    • @leolarsson8749
      @leolarsson8749 Před 4 lety +85

      @@tabstrash7166 funny joke

    • @lilweedsea
      @lilweedsea Před 4 lety +38

      That sounds really fake tbh

  • @kawajirikosaku2148
    @kawajirikosaku2148 Před rokem +16

    The chewing noises in the sushi restaurant scene were so aggravating

  • @operaismyreligion
    @operaismyreligion Před 4 měsíci +4

    duolingo should make a movie where a woman is converted to learning spanish on duolingo, and it should feature MULTIPLE duolingo lesson montages, and the one of the conflicts has to be that she loses her streak

  • @seigeengine
    @seigeengine Před 4 lety +4241

    "I just want to meet a guy who will look at me for ten seconds and smile."
    Wow, setting the bar high there aren't we?

    • @ServingOthers99
      @ServingOthers99 Před 4 lety +174

      I was thinking the same thing, like she should've been more realistic. Like, 6 seconds and a smirk

    • @Ooffoop
      @Ooffoop Před 4 lety +107

      That would just get creepy some dude staring at you for 10 seconds straight and just smiling

    • @saffiyasmith1816
      @saffiyasmith1816 Před 4 lety +32

      Realistically based on what she settled for, in her world, it would have been:
      I just want ta guy to being so boring that I have no chemistry with them.

    • @seigeengine
      @seigeengine Před 4 lety +6

      I mean, not being boring doesn't mean you'll have chemistry with them.

    • @saffiyasmith1816
      @saffiyasmith1816 Před 4 lety +6

      @@seigeengine My comment meant, that he was soo boring that she couldn't have chemistry with him even if she wanted to.

  • @luxbulbis5471
    @luxbulbis5471 Před 3 lety +2347

    Rom-com? More like wrong-com.

  • @audrianagonzalez3745
    @audrianagonzalez3745 Před 8 měsíci +7

    I like to re-watch Kurtis’s old videos (it’s 2023 now) and it’s crazy how his voice changed. Men really do have 2 puberty’s.

    • @charlee1953
      @charlee1953 Před 2 měsíci

      IK i was just thinking that 😭

  • @super8bitable
    @super8bitable Před rokem +14

    5:16 “And now I gotta make bald guys believe some magical potion they buy on TV is gonna solve all their problems… but first I gotta pray to this magical guy I read about who’s gonna solve all my problems.”

  • @melanierose5077
    @melanierose5077 Před 3 lety +3582

    "If god didn't give you a husband, you ain't getting a husband" literally made me CACKLE

  • @svftmgc
    @svftmgc Před 4 lety +4007

    he’s wearing a flannel shirt. sorry gretchen but you’re dating a lesbian, i don’t make the rules.

  • @_giddy
    @_giddy Před 2 lety +16

    the fact that the dad from psych wrote this movie makes it 10x more entertaining

  • @bojomoonlight
    @bojomoonlight Před rokem +9

    i was listening to this video in the background, and let me tell you: the sushi seen is 10x longer when there’s no video component. it’s just like an unbroken minute of silence while the restaurant music plays before gretchen speaks.

  • @jinenji
    @jinenji Před 4 lety +11593

    you didn’t include the horrible part when a kid comes up to her in MEXICO, speaking spanish, and she tells him to speak english. this movie was so awful

    • @kgot8943
      @kgot8943 Před 4 lety +2125

      Christianity - bringing the White Savior Complex©®™ to a place near you since the first Crusade

    • @kalesheonn8366
      @kalesheonn8366 Před 4 lety +202

      Isn’t that the part at the end in her, ya know, English class? Isn’t that how it works in foreign language classes?

    • @Lo-me2hd
      @Lo-me2hd Před 4 lety +14

      Perry Young How is this relevant?

    • @Red-jl1qr
      @Red-jl1qr Před 4 lety +34

      @Sage Markham Not all Americans are awful?????
      Also it's a movie???????????

    • @Red-jl1qr
      @Red-jl1qr Před 4 lety +24

      @Sage Markham I wouldn't say it's America, but it's whatever area you were in

  • @gnome5057
    @gnome5057 Před 4 lety +1892

    GAWD A BABY WITH NO TEETH COULD EAT A ROCK FASTER THAN THAT GUY EATING SUSHI

    • @laural2924
      @laural2924 Před 4 lety +26

      How big is the rock?

    • @fancyoil216
      @fancyoil216 Před 4 lety +58

      I ate sushi once when I was an awkward 11 year old and I *hated* it but I didn’t want to be rude so I just sat there about to throw up until I finally managed to swallow it. I was in actual tears because it hurt so bad. And it took much longer for me to swallow it then him lol.

    • @gnome5057
      @gnome5057 Před 4 lety +10

      @@fancyoil216 that's sure was a story

    • @gnome5057
      @gnome5057 Před 4 lety +12

      @@laural2924 a rock you would be able to pick up but it's quite heavy

    • @laural2924
      @laural2924 Před 4 lety +11

      @@gnome5057 oh ok. Makes sense. Thanks for clarifying

  • @august._.girlie
    @august._.girlie Před 8 měsíci +6

    The fact that the main dude’s name sounds like the Chinese phrase ‘没有 (mei you)’ which translates loosely to ‘not having’ is fucking priceless 💀

  • @DasComrade
    @DasComrade Před 2 lety +19

    10:23, im not even east-asian and that poor usage of the chopsticks offends me, im just south-asian

  • @freyaallan3267
    @freyaallan3267 Před 3 lety +2315

    “if god didn’t give you a husband, you ain’t getting a husband”

    • @swine13
      @swine13 Před 3 lety +45

      What if God didn't give me a BJ??

    • @TheNoobler
      @TheNoobler Před 3 lety +49

      @@swine13 tHeN yOu AiNt GeTtIn OnE.

    • @Sofoufogojfof
      @Sofoufogojfof Před 3 lety +1

      FIRRREEE

    • @alaynaallen3044
      @alaynaallen3044 Před 3 lety +11

      AW YEAH! HELLS YEAH! U HEAR THAT PPLS? IM GETTING ME A WIFEY🥳🥳🥳

    • @sophiazoe4340
      @sophiazoe4340 Před 3 lety +1

      @@swine13 - Kurtis Conner

  • @unhingedfrogspawn6715
    @unhingedfrogspawn6715 Před 3 lety +4511

    I just can't believe they showed premarital kissing smd(daggum)h

    • @mikaroni_and_cheez
      @mikaroni_and_cheez Před 3 lety +369

      Premarital eye contact as well

    • @azyo8803
      @azyo8803 Před 3 lety +319

      Premarital existence is disgusting smh

    • @lvbboi9
      @lvbboi9 Před 3 lety +35

      @Hollow Cup dont say that word you filfth

    • @sophieschroer42
      @sophieschroer42 Před 3 lety +126

      girl defined would disapprove

    • @lvbboi9
      @lvbboi9 Před 3 lety +8

      @@sophieschroer42 smh

  • @isabelmarie2003
    @isabelmarie2003 Před rokem +12

    There is no way she said "our kelly", she straight up said "R. Kelly"

  • @lukeostercamp3975
    @lukeostercamp3975 Před 2 lety +8

    The fact that Shaun’s dad from Psych wrote this movie killed me. My soul is dead.

    • @charlee1953
      @charlee1953 Před 2 měsíci +1

      IM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE RECOGNISED HIM i grew up on that show this is WILD 😭😭

  • @zeducator99
    @zeducator99 Před 5 lety +4738

    Man, Mayonase is bad at time management? Watch out Gretchen, you've got a Mr. Struggle on your hands.

  • @eliana4976
    @eliana4976 Před 4 lety +3999

    Uhm... “a brand can’t make a movie about themselves with a good plot” the LEGO movie if a ciNiMaTiC mAsTeRpiEcE

  • @jessicaeubank4332
    @jessicaeubank4332 Před rokem +13

    Let me tell you, having grown up in that culture where a woman's worth is determined by her spouse, being the last one standing is a real fear for a lot of young women. Also, every mission ministry I have ever known requires thorough interviews, a declaration of faith, and often several theology and apologetics courses before you are even considered for the team, so inviting an unvetted rando to join last minute is on them.

  • @mazhiang_dishia_
    @mazhiang_dishia_ Před rokem +4

    10:37 HE'S NOT EVEN HOLDING THE CHOPSTICKS CORRECTLY KJABEKQNSKB

  • @dayang1955
    @dayang1955 Před 5 lety +1650

    girl defined would NOT approve of this movie

    • @sharxx112
      @sharxx112 Před 5 lety +328

      kissing before marriage? not on my watch

    • @bridgeidiot262
      @bridgeidiot262 Před 5 lety +32

      Oh hell to the naw

    • @al-cs9fe
      @al-cs9fe Před 5 lety +149

      bookheist “honestly, it’s not okay to have a crush on anyone”

    • @eevee4611
      @eevee4611 Před 5 lety +34

      Honestly with a character just like old wonderbread here I feel like that's their character but would switch the kissing with handshakes

    • @maxemuswilliams7261
      @maxemuswilliams7261 Před 5 lety +12

      Yeah, when I heard about this movie I *literally* did a 360 and fell out of my chair.

  • @anxietyatitsfinest286
    @anxietyatitsfinest286 Před 3 lety +1785

    Kelly: speaks ‘Spanish’
    The demon she summoned: h e l o

  • @courtneyb9182
    @courtneyb9182 Před 2 lety +10

    17:31 Ngl laughing at this movie and that conflict they set up. I grew up in a very Catholic family, and the entire parish seemed excited as all get out and very welcoming when someone expressed even the smallest bit of interest in joining the faith. The same went for some of my secular friends in college and their youth groups, too. The whole breakup scenario and the family's judgment over the lead not knowing the Bible verbatim despite her showing a concerted effort in trying to learn the faith reads more like an A.I. attempting to write the script than actual Christians, which is wild. Way to advertise your own faith and dating service, guys.

  • @heather.chandler.musicals

    I LOVE MEAN GIRLS AND ALL THE REFERENCES WERE PERFECT THANK YOU KURTIS

  • @Evija3000
    @Evija3000 Před 5 lety +1720

    That wasn't Spanish, she was performing an exorcism on the girl for asking that question.

    • @catalinadiaz7235
      @catalinadiaz7235 Před 5 lety +55

      Evija3000 amen hermana, i mean eirrmana

    • @Monica-fm9xr
      @Monica-fm9xr Před 5 lety +90

      I literally couldn't understand a thing and I'm Hispanic

    • @noodlepoodle3582
      @noodlepoodle3582 Před 5 lety +7

      Mon F. Same

    • @zipop7880
      @zipop7880 Před 5 lety +8

      Where was the trademarked Bob Larson Bible Slap for the exorcism

    • @samviolet
      @samviolet Před 5 lety +42

      Yeah I speak Spanish and I didn't understand any of it. Sounded like weird Latin lol

  • @lcslndmt
    @lcslndmt Před 3 lety +7767

    Ah yes, a date scene where the love interest chews on a sushi for 40 seconds straight, how romantic.

    • @rosecloudheaven5953
      @rosecloudheaven5953 Před 3 lety +15

      😂

    • @inkystars19
      @inkystars19 Před 3 lety +220

      Paired with a glass of awkward silence

    • @pisscvre69
      @pisscvre69 Před 2 lety +74

      I'd walk the fuck out of there like really white boi? its just rice fish and a few other things it's really not that dif from stuff you'd already eat all the time even if your a narrow minded white boi, besides sushi is great its one of my fav things and if you dont like it just say so or at least swallow it quickly instead of making a show of how you don't like it making alll those faces for like 5 minutes
      Of course i wouldnt date somone like him in the first place tho even if i wasnt lesbain LOL

    • @bushdenae
      @bushdenae Před 2 lety +192

      I feel like the joke was supposed to be sushi=nasty

    • @three7446
      @three7446 Před 2 lety +305

      I’m not even Japanese but his reaction to not American food was offensive even to me like dude was so dramatic. It’s raw fish no need to be a diva

  • @garfieldfan100
    @garfieldfan100 Před 2 lety +6

    a way better ending would be her going "no, i only have room in my heart for god"

  • @kiwi_trucks
    @kiwi_trucks Před rokem +2

    10:17 The way they’re playing stereotypical ‘asian’ music in the background is so funny to me.

  • @farateq
    @farateq Před 3 lety +17385

    gretchen: **has not memorised the bible by heart**
    everyone: that isn't very fetch of you

    • @broattab9807
      @broattab9807 Před 3 lety +43

      Lol

    • @babyvision6948
      @babyvision6948 Před 3 lety +375

      Gretchen signing up forChristian mingle:
      Me:she doesn’t even go here
      (This made more sense in my head)

    • @iliketoeatbatteries8122
      @iliketoeatbatteries8122 Před 3 lety +228

      Stop trying to make fetch happen Fara

    • @averymoran6512
      @averymoran6512 Před 3 lety +50

      Omg wait
      That’s iconic
      I had to wait to catch my breath tbh

    • @xensbooknook
      @xensbooknook Před 3 lety +54

      Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch a thing. It’s not gonna haplen

  • @peachymoon2400
    @peachymoon2400 Před 3 lety +4134

    17:03
    As a Spanish speaker, it literally took me a hot few seconds to realise she was speaking Spanish and not Minecraft Enchantment Table

    • @sleepylilwolf1749
      @sleepylilwolf1749 Před 2 lety +189

      i was also hella confused at first also cool Minecraft reference

    • @valeriamendiburuvillalpand7501
      @valeriamendiburuvillalpand7501 Před 2 lety +327

      I'm Mexican and I couldn't understand a thing she was saying

    • @hannahintears
      @hannahintears Před 2 lety +229

      She really went off with the *enunciation*

    • @jane_wants_to_feel
      @jane_wants_to_feel Před 2 lety +126

      i don't speak spanish, but i've got relatives who do and that does not sound like spanish...

    • @vitowidjojo7038
      @vitowidjojo7038 Před 2 lety +170

      This is equivalent of people speaking gibberish and make it sounds like Chinese.

  • @2-d_in_a_bag
    @2-d_in_a_bag Před rokem +3

    THAT SUSHI SCENE WAS SO AWKWARD 💀 honestly if a date is that bad, idk what to tell you, man. he isn't your prince charming. ngl though i would be a terrible girlfriend for that guy, i'd just die laughing at him being mayonnaise.

  • @Ava-qt5rd
    @Ava-qt5rd Před 5 lety +925

    Shirt: tucked
    Pants: cuffed
    Mental health: deteriorating

  • @jfkfromclonehigh8157
    @jfkfromclonehigh8157 Před 4 lety +3928

    “Aren’t You Supposed to, like, forgive, and stuff, or is that like, catholic”
    Who’s going to tell Kurtis That Catholicism is a type of Christianity

    • @sillygooseenergy
      @sillygooseenergy Před 4 lety +143

      Nah, he'll figure it out.

    • @MrsRoseSimple
      @MrsRoseSimple Před 4 lety +284

      Lol it’s ok a lot of people have told me that I’m not Christian because I’m Catholic... it’s super weird...

    • @shay.w.5812
      @shay.w.5812 Před 4 lety +44

      @@MrsRoseSimple lol like Christianity isn't even a think when you think about it. It's just judaism 0.2.

    • @abbytimbs1039
      @abbytimbs1039 Před 4 lety +59

      Shay. W. Not really

    • @mileyrocks852
      @mileyrocks852 Před 4 lety +61

      Shay. W. Not really, they were taking the Bible out of context and made it sound good for themselves and focused on the wrong things so Jesus taught people what was important and what wasn’t. Christianity isn’t even really perfect itself. People do it in Christianity. People need to just read the Bible and get their own opinion (that God has given them) that way. You can’t judge something you never read. I did it and when I read it, it blew my mind

  • @metamax813
    @metamax813 Před 2 lety +4

    I’m a recent subscriber and I’m going through some of the back catalogue. This is one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while.

  • @bloodrainicorn6193
    @bloodrainicorn6193 Před 2 lety +1

    Dude I love your subject matter. It’s like a nostalgia trip through my late night commercials of my teen years.

  • @reabans9971
    @reabans9971 Před 3 lety +3437

    Why were they having COOKIES and LEMONADE 😭 btw I’m as white as they come and THIS MOVIE HAS OUTWHITED ME😭💀

    • @krunchykat9249
      @krunchykat9249 Před 3 lety +257

      Lol this movie is banned from coming to the cookout

    • @Sweetie.21
      @Sweetie.21 Před 3 lety +68

      I’ve always had cookies and lemonade as a kid, as well as a lot of kids in my village. I didn’t know that was a white people thing.

    • @biancagarcia4096
      @biancagarcia4096 Před 3 lety +57

      BECAUSE IT'S A VERY BAPTIST THING TO DO 😭😭😭

    • @fukyomammason
      @fukyomammason Před 3 lety +138

      Back when I was still forced to go to church there would be cookies and lemonade/punch after service. But like lemon cookies, so at least it made sense in that respect.

    • @sofiem1225
      @sofiem1225 Před 3 lety +89

      It’s the cake and steak for me

  • @eldawrld
    @eldawrld Před 5 lety +1402

    im a fluent spanish speaker and i literally could not understand a word r kelly was saying ,,

    • @fabsmg219
      @fabsmg219 Před 5 lety +47

      e l d a “hermanos mios. Consideranse muy dichosos cuando tengan que enfrentarse con diversas pruebas”

    • @nat2002
      @nat2002 Před 5 lety +103

      @@fabsmg219 wait really??? She had the balls to tell kids whose village was destroyed to be happy about it????

    • @ibrahinmenriquez3108
      @ibrahinmenriquez3108 Před 5 lety +10

      Yo lo he hablado toda mi vida y tuve que verlo 3 veces jaja

    • @yvetterosales8986
      @yvetterosales8986 Před 5 lety +38

      Yeah I almost had a stroke trying to figure out what she was saying

    • @al-cs9fe
      @al-cs9fe Před 5 lety +21

      e l d a I didn’t even try to go back and figure out what she was trying to say because I knew it would take forever

  • @gracegoler6948
    @gracegoler6948 Před 2 lety +1

    I was crying last night and this video helped so much. thank you

  • @justacanofspam2641
    @justacanofspam2641 Před rokem +7

    Oh god I just remembered when I was 10 and dreamed of one day finding my husband on Christian Mingle

  • @melodyhaviland9393
    @melodyhaviland9393 Před 4 lety +7178

    I WANNA CHURCH GIRL THAT GO TO CHURCH
    AND READ HER BIBLEEEEEEEE

  • @Blueeyesinthesky
    @Blueeyesinthesky Před 3 lety +8891

    It would’ve made more sense if she was like working in marketing and has to market the app. She gets the idea to try it herself to come up with a pitch and ends up actually meeting a great guy falling in love and eventually becoming a Christian. This gives her a reason to actually use the app and stuff.

    • @cadalihoe8035
      @cadalihoe8035 Před 3 lety +1012

      Girl YOU should’ve directed the movie 😭

    • @muhdiskandar02
      @muhdiskandar02 Před 3 lety +448

      That would be “Mingle all the way” except its not about Christianity

    • @picklespeas9623
      @picklespeas9623 Před 3 lety +133

      Thats literally mingle all the way 😂😂

    • @themonecollective
      @themonecollective Před 3 lety +156

      Not you creating a better plot than the movie hahahah

    • @lectiocultura5599
      @lectiocultura5599 Před 3 lety +62

      Dude, idk but u just did the writer's work in a single comment and actually made it so much better

  • @gametram6139
    @gametram6139 Před 10 měsíci +1

    “Oh! we’ll put 2 ads for the rest of the mo-“
    ad plays
    Kurtis is a genius

  • @madz500
    @madz500 Před rokem +3

    As someone who got dumped (partially) for not being christian, she should’ve been relieved. That fear of not meeting their standards is so heavy. And they absolutely left mexico when they got back together, no way she stayed to teach kids after that

  • @natanderson19
    @natanderson19 Před 5 lety +2184

    yes longer video = more kurtistown

  • @MrNoob-xo5uz
    @MrNoob-xo5uz Před 4 lety +534

    They really pushed all the stereo-types, "Just make everyone vanilla, awkward, cliquey, and polite."

    • @frogfellow8773
      @frogfellow8773 Před 4 lety

      @@shadow4040 So being white Is one of the attributes needed to be as less human as possible?

    • @frogfellow8773
      @frogfellow8773 Před 4 lety

      @@shadow4040 oh sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that the list of attributes that the other guy gave equaled a non human entity, but I clearly misunderstood. Sorry again.

  • @NigelMelanisticSmith
    @NigelMelanisticSmith Před rokem +3

    I love how the website was only relevant for 30 minutes before they were in Mexico mode for the rest.

  • @caseymckenna7111
    @caseymckenna7111 Před 2 lety +5

    “Now she’s goin to church to impress this guy.” Yeah, Kurtis. This guy named GOD.

  • @seigeengine
    @seigeengine Před 4 lety +2454

    Looks like Gretchen Wieners isn't Gretchen any Wieners.
    Okay, I'm done.

  • @anipigs
    @anipigs Před 5 lety +5952

    I didn't realize that R.Kelly was speaking in Spanish until you wrote "Spanish?". And I'm a native Spanish speaker.
    So, yeah.

  • @ryanlansing4273
    @ryanlansing4273 Před rokem +5

    as a spanish speaker i literally wouldn't think she was trying to speak spanish if u didnt say it

  • @quinnravient299
    @quinnravient299 Před rokem +2

    I'm not sure the arguement that a company making a movie to sell a product = bad is a very good one. The LEGO Movie is one of the best movies of all time, but it's literally just an hour long ad for LEGO.

  • @cattaylor7271
    @cattaylor7271 Před 5 lety +1535

    Ariana Grande: God is a woman
    Me: no God is marketing genius

    • @rudy8176
      @rudy8176 Před 5 lety +5

      I like how how he said not to disgard others beliefs and that’s what everyone’s doing. Im scared for the Christian comments attacking everyone.

    • @cattaylor7271
      @cattaylor7271 Před 5 lety +29

      It's Just Kangarooody I’m Christian n I wouldn’t have been mad. Most Christians r pretty chill but we’re made out to be all defensive by the media. It’s also interesting how everyone else gets offended by everything, but when it’s a Christian it’s problematic. Don’t take me too seriously tho I kinda went off lmao whoops

    • @anonymousia
      @anonymousia Před 5 lety +12

      Why can’t god be both? Lmfaoo

    • @cattaylor7271
      @cattaylor7271 Před 5 lety

      Jessica Garrett o

    • @Wondermazement24
      @Wondermazement24 Před 5 lety +1

      ¿Porque no los dos?