Her Happiness is NOT My Concern!

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  • čas přidán 20. 11. 2019
  • In this episode of #HowMarriedAreYou, we discuss the old tale of "Happy Wife, Happy Life." It gets pretty heavy! Listen in and let us know what you think!
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Komentáře • 150

  • @charmainegreen2462
    @charmainegreen2462 Před 4 lety +54

    Listen.... 20+ years in here 🙋🏾‍♀️. In marriages it’s your partner’s responsibility to support, love and protect BUT not their responsibility to make the other “happy”. This comes from within and as a believer from the Lord. That is too much responsibility to put on my hubby because I change and develop through this journey. Yvette you’ll get there. I promise you. One day you’ll be where we are (empty nesters), with a ton of time to do whatever. The Lord gives us phases in life for a reason. The phase your in IS ONLY TEMPORARY guys. Soon they will be older and things will be different. Find your happiness, be present and focused on all the wonderful things the Lord is doing. 😉. Praying for you guys

  • @AngieP316
    @AngieP316 Před 4 lety +60

    Wait a minute..."I call the cops one time and you don't let me live it down!" I need this whole story! 😂😂😂

    • @blessedva
      @blessedva Před 4 lety +1

      My thought exactly!!!

    • @lovelynita1
      @lovelynita1 Před 4 lety

      😂😂😂😂

    • @user-bd3bx4rh1q
      @user-bd3bx4rh1q Před rokem

      My thoughts exactly. At the same time I am happy that they respect themselves and their family enough to know what to share and what not to.

  • @AdrienneBennett
    @AdrienneBennett Před 4 lety +68

    Would you guys every do a full episode of just chocolate baby storytime. I love hearing you reflecting on the different strategies/situations you go through with each child.

  • @latashathomas4239
    @latashathomas4239 Před 4 lety +48

    When Yvette had Uzi, she said that God was telling her she doesn't have to lean on Glen because she has God. I think this time is a reminder.
    It's definitely a time of growth. Again.
    Love y'all.

    • @melakin191
      @melakin191 Před 4 lety +4

      Love this comment. It lends a perspective is positive and not criticizing.

    • @Marnwhite59
      @Marnwhite59 Před 4 lety +1

      I wholeheartedly agree and appreciate Yvette understanding where she is.

  • @LoveNikiRenee
    @LoveNikiRenee Před 4 lety +39

    Hey yall! I've been married for 20 years and here's my little bit of wisdom...it seems like you 2 are lacking compromise! And Glen, it's not about making your wife happy, it's about making her feel like you care about her needs and what she's going through as you would want her to do for you. It's not fair to say you are gonna keep doing what you're doing and she can figure it out or find her way. It's not fair to act like your role is more important or difficult. Its not realistic to think that children under the age of 12 can understand that parents have to work. And its low key disrespectful to say that you would trade places with Yvette like being at home with 3 kids and a baby attached to your nip is a cake walk compared to the work you do. I know you want to build an empire for your family but your lack of compassion towards your wife can cause you to lose her. This is not an attack, just my opinion based on this short conversation I just watched. I love you guys for being open and sharing with us. Praying for you all to have continued growth and success!💜

    • @boomboom6577
      @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +4

      LoveNikiRenee :❤️❤️❤️❤️ I just think the way you summed that up is so clear and straightforward. I was feeling kind of crazy because I’m not married and don’t really know what the rules are.

    • @rhondareid1972
      @rhondareid1972 Před 4 lety +5

      Spot On! He talks mean and harsh to Yvette at times in my opinion, it's not always what you say but how you say it. Husbands are called to Love their Wife and caring for her concerns is Loving her. I'm 15 years married and I had many arguments over my Husband seemingly telling me to figure it out, I'm YOUR Wife, we're gonna figure this out together, just as I would if the situation was reversed. I don't think Yvette is looking for him to make her happy, just be considerate and helpful overall, don't be a jerk!

  • @boomboom6577
    @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +30

    When yvette was working, and there were two children and glen was the primary caretaker, there was an issue with yvette giving her “leftovers” when she got home.
    It seems as if this is the same type of discussion, except now there are four children and yvette is primary caretaker. I recall yvette reflecting on what she was giving to the family after glen articulated his feelings. Perhaps now it is up to glen to try to hear her when she articulates similar feelings.
    Maybe you can’t make her happy. Maybe you can make her happier than she is now.
    I don’t know that she can just do what makes her happy right now. She has a job of caring for 4 children and running a household. A while back glen expressed frustration that she was shifting energy to party planning when that energy could be better used fulfilling home duties. So she can’t just do whatever. And to suggest that she can....well, that seems very unfair.
    The “make 5000.00” comment didn’t sit well with my own personal spirit. It felt demeaning. Perhaps I am projecting. But it seemed to instantly lower her value as a homemaker and mom. Perhaps equating it to doing laundry.
    In reality, she can make money and you can do laundry. You have chosen to do it the other way.
    Rough issues all the way around.

    • @nicoles4257
      @nicoles4257 Před 4 lety +16

      Ma'am. These are facts. I also see a big difference between when he was home vs her now. He had two kids roughly the same age. She has four and two are being home schooled. Meanwhile she's not even 6 months post partum!! This is not the same at all in reverse at all. That pressure is immense. Prayers for her not to lose it in this season.

    • @TheLatatiana
      @TheLatatiana Před 4 lety +2

      I hope Yvette sees this ! !

    • @Lodeenie
      @Lodeenie Před 4 lety +3

      It sounded to me at the end that he's frustrated that he thinks he's trying and he feels he's failing her so now he's asking for a plan. That hike conversation made me realize she's off. If you want to go on a family hike, plan a family hike, balls in his court. Yes she has more kids but she also has a nanny and as a single mother who struggles to get a sitter whenever I want to do things, I'm with the husband on her under utilization of the nanny.

    • @boomboom6577
      @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +2

      Kia Freeman I agree, there is frustration. I just wanted to add my perspective on the language used to address those frustrations.

  • @PRINCEZZ3130
    @PRINCEZZ3130 Před 4 lety +20

    When Glen said, "I like to produce... it brings me joy."
    Produce... product... product-ivity... 😂😂😂 men.

  • @Dsomler
    @Dsomler Před 4 lety +18

    Deep!!!
    My husband & I have been having this conversation also. We've been married for 15 years & Each season brings its own set of complexities. Marriage is definitely not for the faint of heart or immature. I commend you both for having these hard conversations over the airwaves! blessings to you both

  • @xandria20
    @xandria20 Před 4 lety +20

    I haven’t finished this podcast yet but perhaps Yvette is missing you Glen. Just missing your presence around the house. And feeling kinda stuck where she is. Not to mention long work hours without any seeming end IS TAXING. Not just on the spouse working but on the spouse trying to hold everything down so the other spouse can work.

  • @joannarichardson2534
    @joannarichardson2534 Před 4 lety +14

    There's total pressure for wife's to lay down for their husband and then everything is good.

  • @rhondareid1972
    @rhondareid1972 Před 4 lety +22

    I hear you Yvette! I think what you're saying is you want Glen to work and help with the kids more like working Moms and stay at home Moms do all the time. Not to be rude or anything but being a working Mom or stay at home Mom is hard, we need mental breaks. Even though Glen is going to work, it's still a form of a getaway where your mind isn't on the kids/house 24/7.

  • @acleveland6837
    @acleveland6837 Před 4 lety +13

    YVette you JUST had a baby!!! You are experiencing a true transition in responsibility and identity and the weight of it is on you. You are right about the season and I think Glenn has to stop taking your processing personal. And what YVette is looking for is support through the transition.

  • @alexis25
    @alexis25 Před 4 lety +7

    Tough and raw conversation. Gives me perspective as a single woman while figuring out my own happiness before marriage. Praying Yvette finds hers. 💗Thanks for sharing guys.

  • @Luvisbeautiful2
    @Luvisbeautiful2 Před 4 lety +9

    This right here is so real!!! Being a working mom to being a stay at home mom is definitely a transition and I feel for both of you. It's a season where GRACE & PRAYER is definitely needed on both ends. I'll keep you both in prayer because this season was difficult for me and my husband but God is good and so is therapy! I know this season is necessary and will only strengthen you both. The Howard family loves you!!!
    P.s. The slogan regarding a woman having to keep her legs open or feel like it's an obligation that we as women need to do for our husband is something I've heard and even believed. It is this slogan that places fear over the reasons a woman might lose her man because if she doesn't participate or always up to satisfy him when he wants it then another female will easily take him away or he will leave. And in fact that is detrimental to a woman. That is not our obligation and nor should it be a reason men leave their wives if she is communicating the lack of sexual intimacy between the two.

  • @celestemoore3959
    @celestemoore3959 Před 2 lety +2

    I'm so relieved that you pulled through because 2 YRs ago when I listened to this episode, I thought it was only a matter of time B4 your marriage would be dissolved.
    Again, I'm relieved you two pulled through the rough stages of marriage.
    CELESTE, in the ATL 🌻

  • @ive9th
    @ive9th Před 4 lety +13

    *whenever you figure this out" around 57:00 man that made me go ouch.
    I don't know y'all's dynamic but she has to feel alone in that moment.
    Tough situation. I wish you guys the best. I won't offer any feigned advice because y'all ain't ask. Lol.

    • @boomboom6577
      @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +2

      Ivan Richards : yes, I felt her aloneness in that moment. Maybe I was projecting, but damn it was so much.
      It just felt so heavy. How is one to ....loss for words here.

    • @boomboom6577
      @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety

      Damn I’m in my feelings about this comment STILL. Just something about that sentence, “she has to feel alone in this moment.” Feelings.

    • @casandratappin6349
      @casandratappin6349 Před 4 lety +1

      Her aloneness and his lack of concern may drive her away. It would drive some women into someone else's arms. And he thinks she couldn't.

    • @boomboom6577
      @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +1

      Casandra Tappin : yes....😢

  • @beingperfected9479
    @beingperfected9479 Před 3 lety +2

    Y’all this right here shows how the husband carries the load of expectations and to do’s on their back. We wives have such narrow views because we sometimes don’t see how our venting our concerns goes in their ear and they truly place our concerns as priorities in secret to please us. This kind of explains why sex is the cookies and milk men feel entitled to because they are sincerely trying to achieve our concerns to the best of their capabilities. When I was married I never understood this but the beauty of this vlog is it allows us to hear two sides and gain prospective that otherwise wouldn’t be gained.

  • @sierrairick1704
    @sierrairick1704 Před rokem

    I know that this episode is an old one, but it’s so applicable to my life right now. Thank you, Glen and Yvette, for being transparent. I’m learning to communicate better with my husband as a result of binging these videos. They’re educational, inspiring and hilarious (at times). God bless you both!

  • @devona1905
    @devona1905 Před 4 lety +5

    Yo! This conversation made me laugh, cringe and smirk but I appreciated all of it. I pray that you guys come to a solution or compromise on the issues but these awkward conversations are real, relatable and honest. Much love to you guys

  • @slimgemlia3007
    @slimgemlia3007 Před 4 lety +7

    Thank you for having these very difficult conversations they really help me.

  • @aniaandmarius
    @aniaandmarius Před 4 lety +7

    Yes, there is definitely pressure on wives to keep their man happy in the bed. ABSOLUTELY.
    That was mostly all the advice I got from the men in my church...

  • @MusiccisuM
    @MusiccisuM Před 3 lety +2

    Autistic people have those traits. I was deemed as stubborn, emotional, lots of depth, liked to play alone, was adamant about a sense of justice and consistency, took alot to get through to get me to understand which frustrated my parents but also was the source of my helplessness and later overanalyzing, rumination. In the end, it turned out that I had autism and wasn't doing any of that intentionally. Honestly, it really felt isolating. I grew up being a major people pleaser because I didn't know when I would get sucker punch (preverbial) in the social realm because of social blindness. Needless to say, I went into psychology to figure how to human hahaha...Its tough because sensitive kids can be naturally on the defensive because we're triggered so much of the time and we translate that lack of control by taking action..."gotta do something about this or else things will be even more out of control" type of vibe. I would have wanted all that lack of control energy to be unpacked without anyone making conclusions or actively helping because in the end, I would tire myself out and end up thinking "what would 'my favorite person' do" and most of the time that was someone who didn't villanize me. That whole bit about Uriah made me have goosebumps. Its not that I didn't want to listen to my parents its that when they talked to me in a certain irritated, frustrated or exasperated tone, it would put me into "out of control" mode which would make me shutdown from listening because "I have to do something to get back into control". I just share this because it rings very familiar. Thank you for reading and perhaps you might benefit from my experience.

  • @manilla2054
    @manilla2054 Před 4 lety +2

    I followed beleaf in fatherhood when I saw the video of Yvette annoucing that she was pregnant with Aniyah as he was taking out the car seat out of the car. I followed because the transparency of Glen and Yvette with Glen not wanting another baby as he was the primary parent and Yvette was fully ready to have this baby. These honest conversations is whats keeps me here. Honesty and transparency comes easier for glen than Yvette but she pushes through, I appreciate her pushing through, because it's uncomfortable for her, but she wants to be genuine. These conversations are soooo good to watch. Especially if you didn't grow up with parents married and working things out. So healthy, so necessary! Queen Yvette goo ahead with that therapy, Own you're happiness, can't wait to see you shine even brighter when the dependance of happiness comes from within.

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety +5

    ...LOL...YVETTE: I am so married that I am in my feelings right now...LOL...awwwwww!

  • @Geekmedia_
    @Geekmedia_ Před 4 lety +2

    I love how you guys argue respectfully. Very rare.

  • @alicia_nicole444
    @alicia_nicole444 Před 4 lety +2

    I am all of Riah and I’m 32. I’m happy he has parents that are involved to figuring it out. It’s good to be working on it now verses when he’s 30 and going through his millions of emotions and not being self aware. I think I explained that right lol ✌🏾

  • @erinandkendalldooley
    @erinandkendalldooley Před 4 lety +3

    Dang...this was such a good episode. I feel like I just had marriage counseling and I'm not even married yet!

  • @zhukunta7211
    @zhukunta7211 Před 4 lety +7

    This thing is hard y'all..me and my wife go through the exactly the same thing

  • @livvy3334
    @livvy3334 Před 4 lety +1

    There are so many layers to this atomic cake that I choose to focus on the light-hearted fact that they have a real assistant named Alexa. At first, I thought they were talking about Amazon's virtual Alexa. 😁

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety +9

    Glen, you can't make anyone happy, they have to find the happiness in them, and then the things that you do adds to what they feel; so if you are doing good, she will be content. Yvette seems happy with your behavior as a father...you do nice fatherly and husband things. Also, it is okay for Yvette to not know what she wants to do; some people don't know their purpose until in their 40s and 50s.

  • @gowithdflo
    @gowithdflo Před 4 lety +3

    Thank you for allowing us to be witness to you guys processing this. Watching this, I felt as though Yvette and Glen were having two different conversations. I got from Yvette that she wanted Glen around to make memories with the family, and though the week may be a challenge, having that "family time" at the end of the week will help her get through the week. I didn't get the sense that she wanted Glen to make her happy. On the other hand, I get Glen's suggestion that Yvette having goals outside of the family will get her fulfilment and respite from the day-to-day. Rooting for you guys. I know you will work it out. I hope you each rewatch this to give you insight into the other person's perspective. #DontPutTheKeyToYourHappinessInSomeoneElsesPocket

  • @kickinitwithkursten
    @kickinitwithkursten Před 4 lety +1

    I love the honesty and transparency between the both of you all. I appreciate the way you both allow eachother time to speak and you both listen to eachother extremely well. Thank you for show us married, single and even those looking to marry how to communicate and work together as a unit. May God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry.

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety +2

    That's right! It is not a man's responsibility to make the woman happy!

  • @HelloMsSongbird
    @HelloMsSongbird Před 4 lety +21

    Anyone else feel like you should back out of the room slowly? 👀

    • @boomboom6577
      @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +2

      HelloMsSongbird I felt like glen should back out of the room quickly.

    • @BeleafInFatherhood
      @BeleafInFatherhood Před 4 lety

      @@boomboom6577 IT's my house HAHAHA Why would I leave?

    • @boomboom6577
      @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +1

      Beleaf In Fatherhood lol, I said “room” not “house.” And joking at that. Things were getting a bit chilly 🥶

  • @boomboom6577
    @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +11

    Look, I don’t know a damn thing about marriage, but I do know that glen probably should not have said that Yvette should figure out what makes her happy and do it for herself. It didn’t seem to go over well. Is all I’m saying. Is all. Just saying. Felt a bit of a chill after that.
    Right around 51:00, 🥶
    By 59:00 I’m just like “glen please stop talking.” Yvette is like 😶and I’m scared for glen now.

  • @boomboom6577
    @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +1

    Oh Yvette. Many many hugs to you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @Blooburriez
    @Blooburriez Před 4 lety +1

    Being a mother is hard. You are doing such a good job! But, you are still a person, an individual... It is hard taking care of kids 24/7... I pray that God will give you rest even in the midst of all the madness that daily life brings! I feel like I saw such sadness in your eyes, it made me feel so bad. I hope you are receiving grace through all of this.

  • @carolinerheaa1504
    @carolinerheaa1504 Před 4 lety +3

    You guys are doing a wonderful job raising your children. Discipline is a part of love and you do it in a loving way and really think it through. When the wife and children miss you when you are working it is because they love you so much as you know. It is such a blessing to know your presence is missed and how much you are wanted. Your kids want to share every precious moment with you and to them, a birthday party seems really important.
    Glenn you are doing a great job providing for your family and they know how important your work is. Yvette, you are doing a wonderful job as a wife and stay at home mom even though it gets lonely at times. As you said this is just a season you all are going through.
    Thanks for being transparent because others can learn from your discussions.
    Also, intimacy is a mutual thing that both partners should want. It is not the only thing a man wants from his partner. Sex is something both partners want. Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

  • @kaduran68
    @kaduran68 Před 4 lety +1

    It👏🏽Is 👏🏽Hard 👏🏽❤️❤️ lots of grace. Lots of grace. Lots of grace ❤️

  • @mspulley
    @mspulley Před 4 lety +3

    Yay!!! Proud of you Yvette!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 you got the editing done

  • @rickireign
    @rickireign Před 4 lety +2

    It is so helpful for me to see your respectful disagreements. Inspiring actually...

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety +1

    Glen is creative...so everything he looks at will spur ideas...I am like that!

  • @shauntaescott9070
    @shauntaescott9070 Před 4 lety +3

    Thanks for the podcast and the honesty. It’s hard sometimes to put in words what I want for my new husband too. I love listening to y’all have a conversation and try to find a solution.

  • @bernitahaynes6875
    @bernitahaynes6875 Před 3 lety +2

    Glen the statement about the 5000 dollars bruh.

  • @haydeetoledo5471
    @haydeetoledo5471 Před 4 lety

    Yay another podcast 😭🙌 thank you lol now I can listen to this while I'm at work.

  • @rebekahkingbello9560
    @rebekahkingbello9560 Před 4 lety

    Yes!! Now let me go listen 🙂

  • @Ramonelly20
    @Ramonelly20 Před 4 lety +2

    This podcast made me think that maybe u guys need to revisit the drawing board. Yvette is a stay at home mom with 4 kids 6 and under which is totally different to when Glen was a stay at home dad with 2 kids. It's incomparable. I feel she's trying to figure this out while dealing with post partum hormones. U guys should maybe discuss the goals as a team and not each man for himself. Listen to understand and not respond. You're not competing against each other but working with each other. I pray God will reveal himself in this season for your family.

  • @nicoles4257
    @nicoles4257 Před 4 lety +1

    Love that sweater Yvette!

  • @jessir5845
    @jessir5845 Před 4 lety +1

    When you said he was you’re favorite. I had a flashback. My mom did that once and we have never let her hear the end of it. We laugh about it all the time
    Also, Yvette be encouraged and know that there are women out here praying for you during this season.

  • @Krystal_Speaks
    @Krystal_Speaks Před 3 lety +1

    51:00 Happy couple, happy marriage, happy family. Maintaining your own Individuality takes intention. Find a creative outlook that is just for you. Happiness, fun, pleasure, joy, contentment in family life takes coordination to avoid straining your spouse or neglecting your kids. Everybody needs self love, self care, self reflection, self expression and creating uninterrupted space to sit in it. Some people get together because they are like minded in business or ministry or just in personal struggle. For example, Chip&Joanna Gaines juggle kids, tv, business, restaurant, home farm. As a couple and individually, I’d say find your strengths, improve your weaknesses but stay true to self. How busy do you wanna be? And the production and labor efforts of all are based on the family’s goals.

  • @shakoyarichardson822
    @shakoyarichardson822 Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you guys sooo much for you openness and honesty. I gain soo much from these conversations 🙏🏽

  • @Djwizjeepjams
    @Djwizjeepjams Před 4 lety

    This is so real! Thanking God for your transparency!

  • @Just_Jen.
    @Just_Jen. Před 4 lety +1

    Woo child this conversation here felt like my husband and I . I appreciate y’all for being so open. Beleaf, bud, you’ve got to let Yvette express ALL of her feelings before you interject. I know you’re excited to respond, however, hear her. She’s not attacking you but your responses (from this end) seem like you’re extremely defensive and they make her afraid to #justsayit how she needs to. Truly listen to her heart and not just her words. Yvette, you definitely have to speak up more! So glad you are able to identify that in yourself. Having a new baby in the family is so hard and takes so much out of us parents. You two are beautiful. Happiness is not an end goal. I’m sure y’all do, but continue to seek the LORD and pray together. 1 Corinthians 13!! In place of the word LOVE, place your own name and have a discussion about it. Praying for y’all. ❤️

  • @zhukunta7211
    @zhukunta7211 Před 4 lety +1

    Me and my wife love y'all!

  • @cynni16
    @cynni16 Před 4 lety +2

    Whooooo this was hard to listen too but so relatable in so many ways. But in as little words as possible it sounds like Yvette is saying she MISSES YOU, she’s just speaking in Female lol.

  • @katriahasan7688
    @katriahasan7688 Před 4 lety +1

    Have to be a part 2 to this.

  • @lashawn369
    @lashawn369 Před 2 lety

    Checking in from the DMV.

  • @Sweetness1624
    @Sweetness1624 Před 4 lety

    It’s crazy how this whole episode reminded me of a conversation my boyfriend and I were having recently. You both have your own interpretations of the situation and both your feelings are valuable.
    Understand and knowledge each other’s feelings without taking it personal. You guys are literally processing what you tell each other differently and it’s clear you both have amazing intentions and you just want the best for each other. Seasons always change in life, goals, feelings and desires do too. Grace is what’s indeed.
    Show each other grace despite it all. We can never truly walk in someone’s shoes or process information or seasons or situations like they do. Sometimes there’s just no solid clear solution. Just grace and understanding despite those feelings you guys are working towards an overarching common goal and you both just want the best for each other and your family. And from an outsider looking in, y’all are doing an amazing job at that!
    Love y’all! Thank you for the the vulnerability and transparency. Y’all are truly my favourite family. Keep inspiring and uplifting!

  • @Zestsuli89
    @Zestsuli89 Před 4 lety +1

    Great podcast yet again. Thank you for letting us into this space. As I've watched these podcast, I've wondered if Yvette is not perhaps discontent because the idea of what this season would look like is not only different from what it is but also who she is. I don't know I might be completely off but I think there is more that Yvette needs to tap into in order to be fulfilled perhaps a new project etc.

  • @PhaleaD
    @PhaleaD Před 4 lety +13

    Glen, you sounded mean this whole episode. Her happiness should be important to you, as yours should be to her. Anyone involved in raising your kids on a daily and taking care of you should be happy. So to be so assertive in saying “Go figure it out for yourself and don’t tell me” is super rude. Then to imply that she is in capable of making $5000 at a time is demeaning.

    • @BeleafInFatherhood
      @BeleafInFatherhood Před 4 lety +2

      I think you're projecting. She is capable of making $5000.

    • @PhaleaD
      @PhaleaD Před 4 lety +1

      Beleaf In Fatherhood she, nor your audience, captured that clarity.

    • @PhaleaD
      @PhaleaD Před 4 lety +1

      Beleaf In Fatherhood and never assume someone is projecting because they provide criticism.

    • @BeleafInFatherhood
      @BeleafInFatherhood Před 4 lety +1

      @@PhaleaD You implied that her happiness isn't important to me. But that's all I've been focused on for our entire relationship. You assumed also that she is "taking Care of me" WHat is that?

    • @rubysbaby822
      @rubysbaby822 Před 2 lety

      @@BeleafInFatherhood you came off like a jerk in this comment section.

  • @taneyahunter8815
    @taneyahunter8815 Před 4 lety +1

    Oh my gosh Yvette!!!! My sister and I were the same way. If our dad said he was disappointed if felt like he actually whipped us. LOL!

  • @annetteradcliffe3281
    @annetteradcliffe3281 Před 4 lety

    Oooooo, Glen! I literally was just thinking about that phrase 2 days ago!!! As if she's the ONLY one in the relationship that deserves to be happy, are you kidding me? The first time I heard the phrase I just about jumped out of my skin. Let me first say I'm gonna be happy regardless, because it is up to me to find my own happy space/place. But not at the expense of my husband or children being miserable/not happy. People need to be more careful about what proceeds out their mouth. My only son will be getting married within a year and I'm having conversations with both of them about that same subject. I thank God that they are mature enough to realize they are responsible for their own individual happiness and communication is a tool to help guide them there.

  • @jessyr706
    @jessyr706 Před 4 lety +10

    Yes, I have heard that women should just literally lie down and take it. It's been a stigma since beating wives was acceptable. My opinion is that it's caused a lot of feminist conversation.

  • @heavenlykingdomnetwork

    I'm loving _your episodes

  • @DonnDonn.
    @DonnDonn. Před 4 lety

    Oh yeah my husband came to the conclusion of not working on making me happy (in line with that happy wife happy life) idea, a long time ago. At first it made me upset. And it's because he realized how volatile my mood and I am. And that when he does something I ask him to do, I either want more or whatever it is, isn't enough.

  • @Sweet2kiss1
    @Sweet2kiss1 Před 4 lety +8

    Come on glenn give us non patreon people sum luv

  • @beingperfected9479
    @beingperfected9479 Před 3 lety

    Yvette, It sounds like your expectations of family life and work life is not what you pictured and you are trying to discern how to gain a balance as y’all grow. I love how y’all get each other and that he cares for your heart so much.

  • @sharonvisini5531
    @sharonvisini5531 Před 4 lety

    Dad, he is just 4 years old. I HAD A CHILD LIKE THIS. He has very deep feelings and emotional needs that he has a hard time to express. You both are recognizing each child as an individual, however , don't forget to put the parents personalities into the equation.

  • @soulspurposeme
    @soulspurposeme Před rokem

    Glen is correct.

  • @michellemurphy4484
    @michellemurphy4484 Před 4 lety

    Hey guys! Mrs. Mel... I think your hitting burnout and Mr. Mel she appreciates all you do, she's just tired :-) Being a tired stay at home parent is just as maddening as being a drunk person...LOL My husband and I have and still do hit this speed bump with our busy lives, we have just learned how to see the warning signs and act accordingly. I wait a little longer to voice my "grievances" and with this understanding he know WHEN I finally do speak up it's not an attack on him OR his work ethic...it's just me talking it out. #SameTeam #HandsUp :-) Love you two!

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety +2

    I think he was trying to say that he goes to work to support the family and you take care of the home; hence folding the laundry. He did the laundry to take some of your weight...but you were already in your feelings...lol...I just luv the way the 2 of you get REAL on the pod!

  • @adri1alicia
    @adri1alicia Před 4 lety +4

    Uriah telling the guest that they talk too much took me out 🤣🤣

  • @lesliewells4383
    @lesliewells4383 Před 3 lety +1

    She needs you home during the hot zone 4p.m. to 9p.m. then you can go back and work for three more hours. She's telling you what she needs.

  • @ashleybebleyadesiyan6316
    @ashleybebleyadesiyan6316 Před 4 lety +2

    I honestly think that light spanking is necessary. Not beatings. I always look to nature (animals) je you ever seen baby kittens or puppies the mother disciplines them with light biting. Same with other wild animals.

  • @nyangel0426
    @nyangel0426 Před 4 lety +3

    Yvette's role is not secondary- it's clear that Glen believes it is. I hope the kids do not internalize these double standards... :(

    • @BeleafInFatherhood
      @BeleafInFatherhood Před 4 lety +4

      How can you tell me what I believe? When Did i say she was secondary

    • @Lodeenie
      @Lodeenie Před 4 lety +3

      I disagree. I think he feels he's trying to help but she's not actually saying what she wants and she's not happy with his solutions.

  • @tashmoore3825
    @tashmoore3825 Před 4 lety

    I have watched some of he vlogs from when Theo & Uriah were toddlers & I'm glad Glen's position has matured about corporal punishment trauma bonding. I also believe in spanking as one of the very last options, not a go-to. I don't want my children to automatically connect harm or correction from their parents with togetherness. It comes out in strange ways as an adult & sibling bonds can get weird enough.

    • @tashmoore3825
      @tashmoore3825 Před 4 lety

      I have learned that in relationship, we need to demonstrate grace for each other's burnout or ability to rest in general because we're both (or anyone connected to us) will be affected by the outcomes of burnout. I like that Yvette is thinking of Glen's overall wellbeing in relationship to his role as provider. Yes, creating content for a brand is going to feel & require different things than simply creating for yourself. It's not always fun. And if our household is dependent on you being in peak mental, physical, & emotional shape, she's admitting accountability for the aspects Glen can't always see under the commitments & deadlines. The emotional toll of a tired man affects the whole household over time. If we build in time for rest, we are automatically accounting for household health & don't have to argue about it later.

    • @tashmoore3825
      @tashmoore3825 Před 4 lety +1

      "I don't have a plan for this, this wasn't my plan [to gain so much success unexpectedly in this pathway]...Now that it is the plan, I'm trying to maneuver & make the right decisions." -- well said Glen

    • @tashmoore3825
      @tashmoore3825 Před 4 lety +1

      "There's some conversations we need to have off the mic." (i.e. private) "What?! I a'int scared of you!" I appreciate this candor & transparency so much. That & the Sofia reference: "All my life I had to fight." Like, you're in this stage together where you're getting what you dreamed of (or didn't even think to dream of) getting but because contentment is a practice, you realize there are holes in the picture. And it's OKAY! This is such a wonderful, aspirational conversation that gives other couples a chance to know that once they're "THERE" wherever or whenever THERE is, that dissatisfaction is normal, even good because you're both still hungry to grow & climb together-ish. I may be over the top about protecting my identity in my relationship with my future partner, but I'm not over the top given my experiences. And if we had hundreds of thousands or millions, & hired staff left & right, I'd still be responsible for my own emotional wellbeing because no amount of helpers can pick me up in the morning & set me right. They can help, but they can't do it for me because we learn to live with what we have. If we have misery, we live with misery. If we have joy, we live with joy. Money won't solve one or buy the other.

  • @zhukunta7211
    @zhukunta7211 Před 4 lety

    At least a snap CRACKLE pOp! 😆

  • @Reya3
    @Reya3 Před 4 lety +4

    The two of you should swap roles for a week.

  • @boomboom6577
    @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety

    Well, it seems like middle children like riah (who was once a second child, unexpected) have to be remarkably resilient. He was never first, he always had to be capable of being second. I remember the video glen did when he was a baby about how he was still getting to know riah because he came very quickly on theo’s heels.
    But if he has to be resilient and accept being second to Theo and second to the first girl afterward, it is probably difficult for him to express his inner feelings. His ability to hide his inner feelings is what makes him a manageable second child. So, maybe it will take more time for him to learn to feel that his inner feelings even have relevance, let alone to speak and identify them.
    Seems like middle kids are good at being resilient and not heard. They are always the most difficult children to work with in a one on one classroom setting. They flourish in groups, mostly when they can do something pretty low key. But when it comes to taking center stage or having to work through complicated feelings, they tend to be very slow and hesitant. It’s like they don’t realize they have right to feel anything out loud.

  • @teddybare601
    @teddybare601 Před rokem

    Happy spouse happy house

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety +2

    ...LOL...he was her favorite, but now she's back to squinting...LOL...LOL...ROTFL...

  • @lovelynita1
    @lovelynita1 Před 4 lety +3

    It sounds like it's time for a schedule moma. Or the kid's need to go to a regular school to give you time.. my question is are you feeling some kinda way that he gets to go outside the house. He can't work and be home at the same time. I'm saying this with love. I'm in therapy myself and I struggle with being happy about things I should be happy with or about. Your going to have to find that one thing that doesn't stress you out more like an outlet. For example I started Crocheting. I do this to not focus on things I feel maybe going wrong when it's not.

  • @teejay8106
    @teejay8106 Před 3 lety

    Hey! You didn’t upload the video of them hugging to patron🧐🥰

  • @Adlinavi.
    @Adlinavi. Před 4 lety

    💔

  • @HelloMsSongbird
    @HelloMsSongbird Před 4 lety +1

    I don’t want to offer another piece of needless advice. I think the picture Yvette had in her mind is very different from what reality is now. It may be a good thing to begin to let that picture go, and begin to paint a new one.

  • @lovelynita1
    @lovelynita1 Před 4 lety +1

    Yes, I feel there is pressure to keep your husband happy with sex. In turn it has made it unfun. Needless to say I should be hospitalized for all the headaches I get ijs.

  • @boomboom6577
    @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +9

    Why don’t you want to leave the kids with the nanny?

    • @Lodeenie
      @Lodeenie Před 4 lety +2

      Exactly! I think this contributes to what seems like his lack of compassion. He's trying to help but he feels like nothing is good enough.

  • @RONJAE212003
    @RONJAE212003 Před 2 lety

    Your gonna get enough of throwing Yvette under the bus😂 “snitch”

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety

    No, the mic didn't block it totally...lol...Glen is annoyed...lol... Uriah is a BOYS BOY! ...lol...

  • @_AndSheSmiles
    @_AndSheSmiles Před 4 lety +2

    I feel like the quote offends people’s mindset. I get irritated by this conversation often lol. “Happy wife happy life” pertains to the marriage for me... my life’s happiness is not in your hands but it should be important to us that we each enjoy this ride together. In my life I KNOW that when my husband give a little he will always get a lot. When he’s not giving anything MY reaction to it taints our relationship greatly. That’s how I take it not as oh he needs to make me happy overall to have a good life. I function better under a leadership of a man who cares about my happiness or well being more then when I feel like I am on his back burner. Not sure if I’m making sense.

  • @stephpowell7648
    @stephpowell7648 Před 4 lety

    Again, I love your HMAY video's and this didnt fail lol.
    I will say though, as much as Riah may be the most difficult, he also sounds very sensitive and sometimes I hear how frustrated Glen gets with Riah Beau.
    Just be careful because it's funny the things kids pick up and how they interpret things. I don't want him to interpret Glen's response as 'Daddy doesn't like me'. We all know you do Glen but he will pick up on everything, especially facial expressions.

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety

    Yes Yvette! They have a saying that 2 blows a day keep...you know! ...lol...

  • @cj10109
    @cj10109 Před 4 lety +1

    Lol Yvette is not used to this life! She wants more help from you... balance is key Glen. Just take a few hours off during the day...

  • @boomboom6577
    @boomboom6577 Před 4 lety +2

    Yes, no spanking aniya, please. Don’t do it, Glen. Not the babygirl. She’s a Pisces child, yelling will be more than enough. And she LOVES her daddy!

    • @l.dozier1984
      @l.dozier1984 Před 4 lety

      And keep up the good working with spanking the boys 🤭...they need it, if their disobedient!

  • @PrincessLenora
    @PrincessLenora Před 2 lety

    Its Just getting know Christ. He is our only source of strength, happiness, and over all fulfillment. He's coming SWIFTLY. Be excited. Seek his faith, his face, and just Him.

    • @PrincessLenora
      @PrincessLenora Před 2 lety

      Follow up: And everything will follow through. Try not to seek for the material stuff only, He knows you need it, Seek for the inward things, the spiritual things, (wisdom, righteousness, Love, Hope, Peace) These are the kind of things Christ wants us to ask him, needs for us to have, wants to give us. He's so Holy, and is spirit. Seek the Spiritual as a couple and each of you alone together with Him. In Jesus Christ Name, Amen.

  • @gracem4329
    @gracem4329 Před 4 lety

    Ever thought about how Riah might respond to seeing this when he’s 20?

  • @bernitahaynes6875
    @bernitahaynes6875 Před 3 lety

    Why do I feel like before she jumped, she should have had a heart to heart talk about the transition with him and really have a true understanding what this is going to truly mean. It's like he's really bothered by what she did and he just can't let it go.

  • @HOBBYMONEY
    @HOBBYMONEY Před 4 lety

    We are females, so we are better at telling everyone WHAT WE DON'T LIKE OR DON'T WANT...this turns a man off. I have learned to turn a complaint into a solution discussion. Yvette, stay away from I DON'Ts. Find a solution for what you want change, and then approach it like..."I would like you to do this....because then it would ...." It's sort of telling a child not to touch the hot stove, and then telling the child why. But keep all the NEGATIVE words out. It takes practice to do this right.

  • @TheLatatiana
    @TheLatatiana Před 4 lety

    I make 5,000 is HILARIOUS!!!

  • @Sistarful
    @Sistarful Před 4 lety +1

    Well..... Ya'll were able to buy a home, a car, furnish it wonderfully while deciding to have 4 children (at one time Yvette wanting 1 more); Glen has built a business that is making life for the Family ... look like any other "Middle Class" American Family with a Nannie. WOW what a grand accomplishment created by the both of you!!!! Yvette has a "profession" while Glen had to "build a business" and he did when Yvette wanted to be the Stay At Home Parent. Why is Yvette not feeling fulfilled? i think its this Walt Disney/Consumer persona of a Family via advertising and myth of America. "We're doing it! {is all i can see from ya'll] When i look at Black Families today they are struggling. U heard of "BMW" yea Black Man Working! its a slogan cause its wonderful to see. Take a walk to any program for Abused Women or A Homeless Shelter for Families or Foster Home... then look at Glenn.... UMmmmmmmm looking mighty goood from here! Yvette having 4 children that are pulling on you all day.... Use the Nannie more! Go Girl! Your Family is just wonderful and the seeds ya'll planted are GROWING !!!!!