I Don't Respect Him!
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- čas přidán 23. 10. 2019
- In this episode of #HowMarriedAreYou, we dive into Shanti Feldhahn's book called "For Women Only." She markets the book as a glimpse into the inner lives of men. Yvette runs some things by Glen about ways Feldhahn says women can demonstrate respect to their man. Listen in as Glen provides firsthand insight to these needs, as the author calls them.
If you'd like to purchase "For Women Only" for yourself, here is a link:
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This book actually has a partner book you may want your husband to check out called "For Men Only": amzn.to/2pMSOxO
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No need to apologize for Uzi being there. This is real
sharon brown ❤️
Facts
You don't owe us an apology; this channel is about being parents! This is part of the experience!
I think this kind of viewership is complicated. I appreciate your message at the end about the tone of the comments. It reminded me to be more mindful of how I respond and made delete a comment that wasn’t phrased the best way.
I have been a viewer since the first days of Beleaf in Fatherhood. Watching both shows has completely changed my understanding of marriage relationships and raising children, and words cannot express the gratefulness I feel for you both. I’m always going to be a loyal viewer, no matter what. Changes, frequency, personal struggles, up and down life seasons, whatever, I’m supporting.
You allow us an intimate and transparent view of portions of your life. And I think sometimes the comments may be responsive to the specific struggles we are shown. I know you don’t have it all together because it shows and you articulate that sentiment clearly. So the comments may reflect people’s attempts to help you in those areas. It would feel weird to just watch you struggle with something and not try to offer help if you think you have helpful advice. I know that the advice may not actually be helpful to you, but....people try. And they try in the ways that reflect their own personal life experiences and knowledge. So it’s all hit and miss, people trying, people failing, people struggling, nobody really knowing for sure but everyone trying to help others know for sure. It’s all complicated.
I think it’s hard to hear outside opinions on stuff you are working through with your own personal heart. It’s like there’s a part of your life that only you can work through. But because we see your life and appreciate how you’ve helped us (me), we feel compelled to try to help. So I think tone is one thing, and the simple fact that people are offering criticism and advice you don’t have the bandwidth or inclination to hear at this moment in your life is another.
I don’t know that this is a thing that can be fixed. It’s just the weirdness of the whole situation. But I think mostly people are well meaning and truly trying to help. You may not be open to receiving at this moment.
ETA: just to highlight the impact you two have: I started thinking about how respectful and gentle you both are to people who write in for help, you never say judgmental things. So, that made me think, “okay, they model tone in ways that I need to really pay attention to.” And that helped me understand how to moderate my tone for these comments. Just reflecting back what you all put out. So, again, thank you for the stuff y’all do that you don’t even know about.
The vulnerability that you guys have in open conversations you have with each other about real-life issues is inspiring. Wow...I'm totally hear for it! This info is helping me even with my friendships
Geez... I identify with Glen's sensitivity as a man. I was never really affirmed as a man, figuring out maleness or manhood and it shows in my relationship with my wife. I really appreciate this, Y'all keep pushing.
PS Born and raised in Tampa... Yeah Florida's wack, but chill.
Ha. Tampa, for sure. I was raised there as well. I moved back to the midwest 3 weeks ago.
Great content. I am loving the conversation.
I appreciate you guys doing what you can when you can! Uzis good - *Hey Uzi!*
28:05 that makes so much sense. It's the way he hears it. Because to me, if my baby is uncomfortable or in pain or suffering in anyway, my love for a place and the work that we put in is always going to be secondary to my daughters happiness, especially if there is no alternative.
Also, I want to be loved, but I also want to be respected? Just because I am female doesn't mean you can disrespect me and I wont care?
Uzzie just having conversations with y'all and his angels. Love yall.🙂
Love this comment
Hey y’all, I love watching how transparent you both are about your relationship. My husband and I been married 16 years & it’s TRULY A PROCESS. I appreciate y’all, keep creating dope content ❤️ - Kat
I always say that I'm only responsible for what I say... not for how someone interrupt it. However I am willing to discuss things but sometimes even after discussing whatever doesn't mean that we're going to see things eye to eye.
41:23 - I do love these tangible moments between the two of you! Which is why I watch the podcasts, rather than just listen.
It is very helpful to me!
I really appreciate you sharing your life experiences with us👍🏽 And I feel you Yvette about some of the comments you get. And Glen you're absolutely correct that this Podcast is not for everyone. We are all a work in progress. God is not through with any of us yet, but His will will be done! Keep growing & glowing🖐🏽
I just love you both ❤️ I pray God continues to give you both grace and wisdom in your marriage in Jesus name🙏🏾 Sober but insightful episode I feel
New subscriber from the love hour. I really needed this episode. Im loving you guys and all the content.
Blessed me so much. With topics like love languages we are getting lots of information on how to love but this is the first I have heard about how to respect. I know what respect means to me as a woman and I am certain to give that to my husband, but I too have been told that I was disrespectful and not understanding how. It seems to me that men use the one word disrespect to describe all things that they dislike for someone to do. We as women have many more specific words to describe how we feel. Disrespect speaks to things done that indicate that you don't feel that a person has value. Disagreement, reminders, correction, instruction, or others don't speak to how a wife feels about the value of her husband as a whole but they often take it that way. But somehow when they do the same things to the wife they don't see it as disrespectful to her. At least that's what I have experienced.
I'm not married anymore but I really do enjoy these talks. I wish I had these conversations in the past but I will definitely share this with future mate and discuss these topics at length.
Your content is definitely for me and my hubby :-)
Yay, Uzi Baby!!! Thank you for bringing him!!
I really enjoyed the baby in the background…my youngest is 17yo so I really miss those days!!❤❤❤
43:14 💥💥💥💥 ow shots fired!!
I like this conversation Yvette you handled that challenge well!!! 🤣 Loving this conversation!
Btw this is off topic but congrats on the Spectrum commercial with Theo & Riah it's adorable and I seen Yvette try to hurry and walk away lol🤣🤗keep up the good work #blacklove
The note you ended on is so important for a family sharing their struggles on social media. THANK YOU FOR BEING VULNERABLE
Loved your discussion and how you used your real relationship examples to illustrate the points. I haven't read this book, but I don't know how to feel about books that advocate for a gender-based approach for how to deal with conflict. Both man and wife can feel disrespected, misunderstood, unappreciated etc. as these are universal themes. I would think that the solutions that work would work for anyone. The generalizations on what men do or how men feel v. women can be counterproductive.
Omgoshhhh Glenn interactions with oouzzi reminds me sooo much of how my uncle was with all of his niece's and nephew's. All kids around my uncle just knew how much they were loved by him. It was just unsaid and natural. That's the type of love i want in my future family. My uncle was also the disciplinarian too...isn't that interesting 🤔. Love and discipline at the same time, now that's some skills.
My wife has a whole thing about how not disrespecting your husband is not the same respecting him.
I learn something new each week from your podcast. Thank you for your transparency!😊
Thank y’all for having this convo in front of us ❤️ my husband and I can definitely relate and your vulnerability is not taken for granted. #blacklove
The dopest episode. Keep it up!!!! 🔥
dannnnng Glen that's how you feel about Florida?!! 😂 This gave me confirmation on something the Lords been showing me about my behavior towards my husband. I need to learn the spirit of shut up because sometimes I can see how i can make my husband feel the way that Glen felt when Yvette was talking about moving to Florida. I don't mean to but it definitely happens.
Enjoyed reading this comment.
One our fav pastors says....does it need to be said ...does it need to be said by me.....does it need to be said right now.
I love 💕 listening to Mr. Uzi ...he’s got lots to say. Keep him coming!
Stephanie Wilson he’s so vocal! I can’t see enough of Uzi 😍
Lolz he’s teething.
Aww Glen looks so tired..😩 He’s just gonna be a fussy papitooo till teeth pop thru then someee😩😩🥰🥰 y’all know wassup. This # 4!
He’s so cute and growing so biggg and niceee! I’m proud of y’all. Goals fr. Keep doing this at your pace! God has such amazing things planned for you And those babies!💕💕 Stay encouraged. The Wedding party praying with and for y’all!😉🙌🏾🙏🏾🖤
Like that you showed the pic of the chocolate babies for the story introduction. Also i appreciate his honesty about his feelings about the house and how much work he put in to get it. Unfortunately it hit me differently that he didn't get her desire to not see the daughter suffer. Maybe he got it later i just didn't see it in this episode. I enjoy seeing you'll working out your differences with love.
This was a great podcast. I can definitely take from this
This is... Amazing. I'm only 3 min in and I don't know why I'm crying.
Looking back at this content in 2021 wish I would’ve found you guys when you was doing it now. But I’m still loving it even if I’m late lol
You’re not the only one! Overthinking is ruining my relationship. I usually am right but it’s mentally exhausting wondering if I’m wrong or right. I always think my boyfriend doesn’t wanna include me in things. It’s gotten worse .
Victimhood is another form of manipulation. I think women are taught as young girls that tears, batting our lashes, playing victim, etc are ways to get what we want. You’re not alone in what your going through Yvette. It’s important that you hear the underlying message in all that Glen is saying.
I am engaged to be married and we went through a trying time where I wasn’t really understanding what he was trying to convey to me re: respecting his position as the man of the house. I now make a concentrated effort to ensure that I seek to understand what he’s attempting to communicate to me.
I enjoyed the way you guys ended the podcast on this show
I don't see that Yvette is in any way playing a "victim." And I don't think that she or Beleaf see it that way. These are two married adults that are there to give advice and to use their platform as a way to minister. I don't think they come on YOU TUBE to get advice from others especially since all we see is a snippet of their lives that they share.
Yvette's most used words/phrases "so...umm/uhhh...ok ... like" and i'll just throw in "idk" for good measure. #mrsmelaninslang
you guys are doing what God chose for you for us that want a take on marriage as it is love y'all
LMBO! Practice makes perfect 👌! This is good. I like the modeling of how conversations should go. I like the questions.
My brother had to move because his wife got a better job. He was really mad. I get it now!
I genuinely love you guys. You're so unapologetically yourselves and its' clear to see. Everyday isn't easy but you guys are doing it well. God bless you, from a single 31yr. old faithful subscriber to both #HowMarriedAreYou and #BelafinFatherhood your content is bomb! I also sent a words of affirmation via ig (wink wink)
My marriage and behaviors can relate. Praying for pure love in marriages everywhere. God knows what we need before we ask.
Been waiting for this drop
My husband and I just had that conversation regarding Ephesians like three days ago
♥️♥️♥️❣️❣️❣️Yevet with the baby I can’t. 🥰
Wow. Me taking the victim role because something is not said or done the way I think it needs to be done is so me. My fiance and I just went through that. It can break a relationship. It makes since that it could be my insecurities. Thanks you two. I love your podcasts. You guys rock.
Ws love husband and wife teams. ❤❤
Ok I Can’t Be The Only One Who Tries To Freestyle On Word Of Affirmation Instrumental Lol. That Beat 🔥🔥 Love You Guys Also Listen To The Podcast With My Girlfriend, Don’t Let Anybody Hinder This Powerful Content.. Stay Encouraged Be Blessed!!
Um, Glen can you explain how FL is so trash? My gosh I felt your disdain man, lol.
OAN... I truly truly appreciate your dialogs with your situations! This is truly a skill! This was so refreshing to see. I saw both parties expressing their views and both parties seeking to understand, and Without placing blame... man, this was great! Praise God for you'll learning and implementing this skill.
Hey!!! Lol I live in Florida, it is verrryy hot and humid, lots if rains and Hurricanes! I love the beaches and the ocean, but you have that in Cali. Otherwise, Florida is overrated. Thinking of moving to Atlanta, really want to be near mountains.
Yes! I've always wanted to listen to a man's perspective on this book.
I love seeing Uzi he is fine and baby sounds are just real life
You mentioned you were in a moms group. What moms group are you in?
I love Glen’s humor. I appreciate how vulnerable you guys were in this episode.
I completely understood his point re: Florida. I think you (Yvette) did something that we as women often do, you used a manipulative tactic by bringing Anaya up. I’m sure that wasn’t your intention but that’s what it was.
I’ve done the same and didn’t realize it until later in life.
Concrete Rose Yikes. That’s very straightforward....cleared up like 60% of my life.
@Concrete Rose Anaya does suffer from eczema and asthma. And those are very serious things. I have seen her constantly scratching herself in videos which must be so irritating to be so itchy. I think Yvette like most moms was just thinking off the top of her head about a climate that would be better for her daughter. She seems to be very happy about living in their new home in Cali but when you have a child that suffers from whatever ailment you think about anyway you can to soothe that child. I don't see it as manipulative to be concerned about your child's health and well being.
This is perfect. No I know I’m not crazy lol
You don't hafta like Florida we still like the podcast
Isn't success being in the perfect will of God? As a family, As an individual, As spouse, As a sibling, As a member of a community.....isn't that where true contentmemt comes from?
Thank you for your vulnerability
You guys are going to couple's therapy, right? I thought I remember you saying so. If not, maybe it would be a good idea to start.
Is there a reason for them to go to couples therapy? Just curious because their platform and ministry is helping other couples who are looking for answers.
@@carolinerheaa1504 Every single marriage needs couple therapy. If people wait until there is a recognizable reason to do so, most likely that marriage is in danger and couple's therapy MIGHT help at that point, but it is harder to get back on track. It's like making the gym a routine before physical appearance shows a person's need for it. When one is put of shape and obese it is going to be a lot harder and take more time to see the results(or even be motivated to go) when working out.
Dannnnnnngggggg you gotta do Florida like that?????!?? You just made me like sand Diego a little less. Smh I mean if California didn't have amazing food spots, cupcake WAR'S winning bakeries and perfectly sunny day's without humidity ...well okay California is still one of my fav vacay spots augghhh BUT DISNEY IS AMAZING FOR KID'S. And don't forget when the boy's get older they will probably love bush garden's in Tampa. The rides are pretty fun
My wife and I live in Florida and We do NOT like it. We are planning to move to California in the next year. I have to side with Glen on that!
Its so interesting that men demand respect and use Ephesians for it but always show it in such a harsh intimidating manner to their wives or show so much disrespect to the wife, as if she doesnt deserve respect too. I had to deal with a guy who would constantly state he wants respect but utterly disrespect me and family all the time, sometimes in a very very aggressive dominating manner. But would never apologize for it and stand on it continually. And then would never understand why i would walk away constantly and when asked, could never understand why i never see myself submitting to him. He refused to change and yet constantly would tell me my list in what i wanted in a husband needed to be changed😑🤔🙃
I guess I'm a man lol because I saw both of those as one in the same
I hope this issue is resolved. Of all the episodes I have listened to this one has to be one of the cringiest. Being married to someone you don’t trust or respect is demeaning. You don’t have to told how to trust and respect someone you truly love.
Glen you are a very humble man because yevette does have strong chracter and seems to think her way could be best over yours, which can be difficult I'm sure. Her comparison in the past of her finishing college and sort of always throwing it in your face as though you should go to college as if college is the best of all. But it also somewhat shows that her trust in your decisions depends on you persuaded her to accept what you want. for example you mentioned you dont want more children and she's insisting you give her a valid reason other than the one you gave her, before she gives you the go ahead to get the visectomy, and I feel really bad. Its as if she knows whats best for the whole family and so she trys to manipulate you into it, kind of like the moving to florida suggestion she gave. I'm just commenting off of the few minute clips you upload. Glenn you are amazing and yevette you are amazing as well. Try to give way to Glen and allow him to be the man. He will make mistakes as you move through life but he will learn from them. Most men arent as tough and humble as glen so be patient. As women we are learning because some of us weren't taught how to be humble and submissive wives. The bible mentions that wives should submit to their husbands it doesnt mention that we should only submit to the ideas we agree on with out husbands, it just mentions for us to submit. Peace and love
DiaryFull ofCurlz exactly!!!
For some reason after watching a number of their podcasts I don't think they will agree with your breakdown of their relationship. All I can say is their rebuttal is coming of your analysis in a future episode of HMAY.podcast.